Marriage: Why Is It Worth Defending? (part 2) - [Ephesians 5:25ff]

Bethlehem Bible Church

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I don't know what your definition of marriage is things have changed over the years the

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American Dictionary of English Language in 1828 said this for the definition of marriage the act of uniting a man and woman for life wed lock marriage was instituted by God himself for the purpose of preventing the promiscuous intercourse of the sexes for promoting domestic felicity and for securing the maintenance and education of children more recently in Merriam -Webster they define marriage as quote the mutual relation of husband and wife wedlock the institution whereby men and women are joined in a special kind of social and legal dependence for the purpose of founding and maintaining a family even more theologically neutered the

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Cambridge Dictionary describes marriage this way a legally accepted relationship between a woman and a man in which they live as husband and wife on Carta online dictionary said a legal relationship between spouses a legally recognized relationship established by a civil or religious ceremony between two people who intend to live together as sexual and domestic partners and what we've noticed over the years is if you don't like something one of the best things you could do is just add on adjectives to accommodate the sin of men and women for instance you have marriage but then you add on a word in the front civil marriage it's a marriage performed by a magistrate or common law marriage you just live together and we call it marriage you can add other words to marriage and turn them into something shotgun marriage right uh...

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where someone is forced to get married for obvious reasons an open marriage where partners just say you know what we'll have sexual relationships with anybody we want of course now even we have the word in front of marriage gay marriage or homosexual marriage my sermon this morning is essentially this when you think of the lord jesus and his work for us as a substitute i just want you to think of marriage and when you think of marriage i want you to think the lord jesus christ i'd like you to take your bibles and turn to ephesians chapter five today hopefully next sunday will be in the book of second peter so please begin to read second peter it is one of those books where you just think oh so refreshing so convicting so christ -centered i want to talk today the relationship that jesus has with his church so that will hold you uh...

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like an anchor kind of more you to uh... the truth so that when people redefine marriage you don't buy what they're selling melinda selma said a man may lie to himself very prettily but he cannot really escape from the knowledge that it is a lie aristotle said men start revolutionary changes for reasons connected with their private lives marriage is defined in many ways maybe you're even ask yourself the question why would there even be marriage there are a few in scripture to magnify the lord and glorify him for procreation for enjoyment including sexual and emotional and physical spiritual companionship god gives a helper uh...

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to adam to raise up children for the lord martin luther said people who do not like children remember luther is luther's definitely he's definitely new england okay so you ready people who do not like children are swine dunces and blockheads not worthy to be called men and women because they despise the blessing of god the creator and author of marriage but what we saw last week the most important part about marriage and and what it's meant to do or why marriage it's to show us christ's love for the church it's a symbol it tells us about an eternal arrangement between the lord jesus and his church his bride the elect ones and so when you talk about holy matrimony you have to talk about jesus and when you talk about jesus you're talking about holy matrimony some people leave jesus out of their sermons which isn't good and some people leave jesus out of their marriage definition which isn't good either so we come to ephesians five you're familiar with the passage this is all something that we're supposed to be very familiar with because those people in christ who've been saved from their sins who are united with christ they're in union with christ they realize they have to live differently the world might say live this way but now that we're redeemed and we're saved and we're different we walk as children of the light not as darkness so there's a difference and how do we act what do we do we need to be thinking about marriage not as something that's just convenient or good or pleasurable or nice or tax deduction but it relates to did anybody just laugh at that we just laugh for tax deduction who knows how long that will last we need to be thinking about the doctrine of of who jesus is and how he loves people and we saw that last week did we not for a quick review everything about this passage swirls around the word love this agape self -sacrificial love i want what's best for you that's what love does and how much does the lord jesus want our best well straight to the cross he goes does he not he sets his mind like a flint to the cross and it says in verse twenty five with no moralism at all husbands love your wives and here's the ground here's the here's the model here's the symbolism we were talking about last time love your wives it's an act of your will just as or as christ loved the church and gave himself up what a great picture of love this is you say which one the husbands loving the wives or jesus loving the church yes they just go right together and you see this this love that jesus has for the church how much did jesus love the church that's the question so much that he gives himself you see the text we looked at last week he gave himself up for her he he was delivered over for our transgressions romans four he was delivered up uh...

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because the father did not spare him romans chapter eight it's a love that doesn't say you know what you earn it and of course as i'm talking about jesus i'm trying to think as a husband and you husbands ought to be thinking when it comes to loving my wife do i say well you know what she hasn't earned my love today she hasn't deserved my love today she's been moody today she hasn't appreciated me today she hasn't done this today she hasn't done that today she hasn't done the other today and so therefore i'm not going to be reciprocal in my love does that sound like jesus' love doesn't sound like jesus' love at all field marshal montgomery said to his young soldiers gentlemen don't even think about marriage until you've mastered the art of warfare dying to self loving based not on who they are or what they bring to the table or are they lovely because of course we know before we were born again we weren't lovely we didn't deserve it it was unmerited it was demerited favor we call that grace do we not where jesus loved us and sought us and jesus is the one who seeks out sinners jesus said i'm the good shepherd the good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep not because they were pretty sheep nice sheep you probably heard the old saturday evening post article the seven ages of a married cold how a husband treats his wife's colds during the first seven years of marriage year one sugar dumpling i'm really worried about my baby girl you've got a bad sniffle there's no telling about these things going around with all this strep i'm putting you in the hospital this afternoon for a checkup and a good rest i know the food's lousy but i'll be bringing in your meals from rossini's i've already got it all arranged with the floor superintendent second year listen darling i don't like the sound of that cough i call doc miller and ask him to rush over here now you go to bed like a good girl please just for papa year three maybe you better lie down honey nothing like a little rest when you feel lousy i'll bring you something to eat have you got any canned soup?

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fourth year you're not laughing as much now just wait fourth year now look dear be sensible after you've fed the kids wash the dishes and finish the floor you better lie down fifth year why don't you take a couple of aspirin sixth year i wish you'd just gargle or something instead of sitting around all evening barking like a seal i'm gonna alter the seventh one just you'll know why seventh year for pete's sake stop sneezing are you trying to give me the covid that's the last time you're going to laugh in the sermon by the way i hope you enjoyed it and when jesus comes and loves the bride there's kind of an ultimate purpose to all this and it's found in verses twenty six and twenty seven and just think about wedding language and uh...

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the glory of the wedding dress and the white purity and the splendor and how beautiful she looks and a pure chaste bride for the husband why does jesus do this what's the purpose that he might sanctify her verse twenty six having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word so that he might present the church this is jesus to himself in splendor that's the kind of bride he has that's what he does with his work and love without spot or wrinkle or any such thing that she might be holy and without blemish shining bright pure beautiful dazzling brilliant is not just the wedding dress but the bride herself it reminds me of the church's one foundation hymn by samuel stone from heaven he came and sought her to be his holy bride with his own blood he bought her and for her life what he died he loved and he gave and he died the most important thing about marriage is the doctrine of christ loving the church it's an eternal arrangement is it not jesus said in john seventeen i glorified you father on earth having accomplished the work that you gave me to do when did he give him the work at the transfiguration at jesus's baptism at jesus's birth the father gives the son this work to do in eternity past it's an eternal arrangement go rescue the bride go love the bride lay down your life for the bride jesus had to be born to go do that very thing but he keeps going and this is new for us from last week we ended up in verse twenty seven ending there today we're gonna pick up in verse twenty eight and you see how he just moves from husbands to the lord and of course we'll see from the bride of christ to the wives in the same way he's got a different appeal here in the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies he who loves his wife loves himself and it's fascinating now there's some individual language here it's not just general all you husbands but you feel that kind of finger from nathan and i won't point at anybody right now just imagine the lord is pointing to you because he's directing this to you husbands he who loves his wife loves himself they're fused into this entity right into one in every area women are property wives aren't nice ornaments jesus said they're no longer two but one flesh but therefore god is joined together let no man separate it is rare to find somebody that does kind of self hurt things and so what paul is saying is you know what since you're a husband and wife and you're together when you love your wife you're loving yourself that's why john calvin said men who don't love their wives are monsters this is an obligation and it's not to anybody else's wife dear husbands it's your own wife he who loves his own wife loves himself verse twenty nine why here's the explanation for no one ever hated his own flesh but what does he do instead nourishes cherishes and then we make sure we understand that this is tied into christ in the church just as christ does the church walter chantry said how soon marriage counseling sessions would end if husbands and wives were competing in thoughtful self -denial if the woman were anxious to yield her god -given head to the god -given head in her home and the man were ambitious to serve her comfort her and love her as being his own flesh there'd be no room for contention or strife what does jesus do to the church it says he he nourishes it's with affection he cherishes warmth tender concern and so i could ask you husbands i ask myself this week do i love my wife do i cherish my wife do i nourish my wife walter trobisch said this is what i love you means from a husband to a wife let me try to tell you what it really means i love you it means you you you you alone you shall reign in my heart you are the one for whom i've longed without you i'm incomplete i will give everything for you i will give up everything for you myself as well as all that i possess i will love you alone i will work for you alone i want to remain always at your side does that sound like a husband or does that sound like jesus and again the answer is yes jesus nourishes and cherishes every husband here must nourish and cherish verse thirty one do you notice therefore a man shall leave his father and mother you still have a relationship but the new priority is obvious and hold fast or cling to or be glued to his wife and the two shall become one flesh right from genesis twenty four chapter two verse twenty four united together bone of my bones flesh of my flesh adam says verse thirty two the mystery is profound this particular mystery is profound and i'm saying that refers to christ in the church what what's a mystery in the bible a mystery in the bible is not something that has twilight zone music spooky mysterious a mystery is something that was true but we didn't know about it until god said let me tell you about it so jesus in eternity past of course said to the father you've given me this bride this sullied bride this unchaste bride and you want me to go live for them and die for them and cleanse them and wash them and sanctify them and glorify them and then on that great day i will hand you back this groom this bride rather that you gave me and she will be pure and beautiful and holy because of what i've done this will be my gift back to you that that all happened way back then but we didn't know about it until paul writes it was true but we didn't know about it that's why he calls it a mystery this mystery it's profound and i'm saying that refers to christ in the church marriage this isn't an illustration it's an illustration of something that's an eternal reality one writer said the truth of so great a mystery was that the eternal son of god should form such a union with people that he should take them into a connection with himself when i look at this i say to myself my marriage preaches i preach sermons with my mouth here on sundays and i preach sermons the way i act toward my wife and so i ask the husbands today do you love your wives?

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do you cherish them? and then he says in verse thirty three kind of a summary however let each one of you love his wife as himself and then of course there's a response for the ladies as well who are married and let the wife see that she respects her husband he's addressing individual husbands no husband is exempt it's a present imperative love love love love and there's a response for the ladies and that response is respect do you respect your husband?

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you see that there? the husband is to love that's mimicking what jesus does for the bride love and here we have a similar parallel and she respects her husband i've heard from ladies and maybe some of you have said it i don't respect my husband because he hasn't earned it you would be in sin because the bible says respect your husband and of course this does not mean uh...

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that he shouldn't try to earn it i would like to earn my wife's respect i'd like to live a life commensurate with my calling but is the text not clear?

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your husband i'm going to treat him this way because god requires me to do that very thing and instead of the opposite of respect with all kinds of cutting remarks and demeaning looks and accusations and looks at kill and withholding affection condescending speech my dad would never do that the text says respect your husband and let the wife see to it that she respects her husband what's my point?

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my point is simple if you have the right view of marriage you have the right view of jesus and his bride and if you have the right view of jesus and his bride you have the right view of marriage so last week we went through that section in ephesians five and i asked a few questions i'm going to quickly review those questions and i have a few more questions based on this truth and again my purpose for today is simple as people begin to change the definition of marriage over and over and over you'll be fortified by saying you know what you can say whatever you want but god's definition of marriage is simple and i have to think about jesus and his church i asked three questions last week the first question was where are the no men and no women that is when it comes to defending the bride of christ marriage where are people that will just say i'm not going to accept anything less than biblical question two from last week have you bought the lie that's very popular in our circles just be known for what you're for well if we're for biblical marriage we're against unbiblical marriage when you're for positive things you're against negative things question three we looked at can you be a lover and a fighter can you be both we need to contend for the faith but we need to speak the truth in love obviously and now here's my fourth question question four which is new information for us today do you honor marriage we've been thinking about you know what let's have the right definition now let's think about do we honor this proper definition if you take your bibles and turn to hebrews chapter thirteen i don't know if you know much about hebrews so let me give you about a fifteen minute background chapter eight verse one the point in what i'm saying is this we have such a high priest that's the book of hebrews right this great high priest jesus is a king yes he's a prophet yes but he's a high priest and he also becomes the sacrifice he's not just the priest priest that makes a sacrifice he is the sacrifice and he's writing to these jewish believers who need to be encouraged and he has a few commands throughout but at the end chapter thirteen he just has a litany of all these commands including chapter thirteen verse four the question for us today is if we have a biblical view of marriage do we honor this kind of biblical marriage he says in verse four let marriage be held in honor among all that's where i'm getting this exhortation from and let the marriage bed be undefiled for fornicators and adulterers god will judge let marriage be held in honor among all including here at Bethlehem Bible Church with myself included how would we go about honoring marriage let me give you a few ways that we can honor biblical marriage the first way is to value marriage as a divine gift as it's defined by god it's a divine gift it's not some kind of just social thing or just good for society it's a divine gift do you notice the text in Hebrews thirteen four that marriage be held in honor among all you know what honor means precious it means valuable is marriage precious to you and you say well i'm single or i'd like to be married or i'm no longer married or i'm a widow or a widower but still you see what god has done it's so precious it's so full of honor because it's talking about something it's not just human marriage highly prized do you highly prize marriage like well does the bible say anything else about this honor word this precious word this value word let me read you three verses and see if you can spot this word as i read it as you hear knowing that you were ransomed from the feudal ways inherited from your forefathers not with perishable things such as silver or gold but with precious blood of christ like that of a lamb without blemish or spot he was foreknown before the foundation of the world but was made manifest in the last times for your sake it's not just the blood of christ it's the precious blood of christ that's the word here for honor that you hold marriage as something precious and honorable and something to be valued highly prized it's not just good it's precious i mean it's one thing when god says angels you mediate such and such of a rule it's another thing when god says by the way you know through apostolic messengers here's a truth and it's another thing for god in eden before the fall not using an intermediator like an angel or a person but god himself in the garden ordains marriage no man no angel no creature takes eve and brings her to adam it was god himself that's one of the reasons why it should be so full of honor in our hearts not only that how do you honor marriage you honor marriage by seeing how much jesus on earth honored marriage that's a good thing to do study jesus when it comes to weddings and marriage what did he say about them we could probably go back to when he was even born he was born of a woman right she was betrothed to her husband how about jesus his first miracle what was the first miracle that jesus did remember that kid that was teasing him when he was twelve years old and he made him mute remember that miracle that's what some people say his first miracle was in some kind of book of peyote part two chapter one no his first miracle was at cana of galilee at a wedding how would you like to have jesus show up at your wedding how would you like to officiate a ceremony where jesus is in the congregation by the way if that was ever true theoretically speaking i would make sure i talk about jesus a lot i would make sure it was not moralism he would be the star of the ceremony jesus shows up at a wedding to affirm to confirm to say yes i endorse this why because he he created it you can't think about jesus at a wedding without thinking about jesus and the ultimate wedding and why he came did jesus honor weddings in any other way even his teaching he has all kinds of parables does he not about the kingdom of god is compared like to a marriage in matthew twenty -two he talks about wedding garments in chapter twenty -two as well the pharisees come up and talk to him about divorce and he's teaching the right thing about marriage jesus designed marriage how could we honor marriage well there's another way honoring marriage means that sexual activity must be restricted to marriage positively sexual activity must be enjoyed fully within the bounds of marriage you see it is right in your passage and let the marriage bed or literally let the bed be on defiled in other words how do i honor marriage even here in hebrews thirteen there's a there's a holiness there's a uh...

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a blamelessness there's a purity there's sexual integrity when sex is in marriage outside of marriage the opposite is true and no matter what people say well we're in love or two consented adults that's not what the bible is teaching here let the marriage bed somebody says let's go to bed you could be either take a nap or you could go to bed if you know what i mean that's what he means here this is the word for the act of what goes on with husband and wife and he says very clearly there should be sexual not defilement but there should be a definition of the marriage bed that would be including undefiled matter of fact jesus it said in hebrews seven that he was a high priest holy innocent unstained that's the idea separated from sinners god says the marriage bed is holy so we honor marriage that way and that means everything outside of marriage unholy horace writes years ago full of sin our age has defiled first the marriage bed then our children and our homes springing from such a source a stream of disaster has overflowed both people and nation your marriage bed must be kept within marriage enjoy yourself outside of marriage defiling religion james says is pure and undefiled that's the same well how can we honor marriage let me give you another reason running from sexual sin do you notice your text for god will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous how do we honor marriage well there's lots of ways and here is one related to the last one god is uh...

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the word god is emphatic in the original language honoring marriage means running from sexual sin of course the world's gonna say we don't care judge us if you want if god were true he would he would have a a lightning bolt strike me down right now but sometimes god's judgment is slow but it is certain of course within a relationship of man and wife marriage god will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous don't go running outside of marriage for sexual fulfillment don't look at pornography obviously that would be included in these kind of things would it not there's a certainty of judgment for christians of course there's a certainty of chastisement this is not minor this is not light this is not a a minor matter at all future judgment he talks about of course think about it if god is love and therefore love gives and for god so loved the world he gives and everything about agape love is give everything outside the marriage bed for sexual satisfaction is all take it's all selfish it's

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Ephesians 5 earlier in the chapter where it's just this self -consumption god will judge it says there's no such thing as recreational sex unless it's in a marriage bed and if you notice as you walk through this uh...

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it probably uh... hits home with some people here who had such a lifestyle of sexual sin before they were a christian before they were married then when it comes to the marriage bed then they are reticent they somehow think it's still dirty or wrong or something that's improper of course that's not what the bible says here at all sexual sin that is sin outside of marriage or pornography within marriage and of course the flip side of pornography oftentimes is a wife who withholds pleasure uh...

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that is due her husband or vice versa we want to make sure we run far from that because that's not the picture of jesus loving the church

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J .C. Ryle it's the sin that leaves, he's talking about sexual sin that leaves deeper scars upon the soul than any other sin that a man can commit it's a sin that destroys thousands of young men in every age and has overthrown a few of the saints of god in the past samson, david for instance and so whether it's a man with pornography or a woman uh...

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flirting on facebook and reading fifty shades of gray all this needs to be repented of well let's flip it around if we're to honor marriage in a certain way is there ways we dishonor marriage?

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let's go through a few you dishonor marriage and a couple of these

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I already mentioned but I'll just make sure I list them out again because they're important and by the way sadly they're how do we dishonor marriage?

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watching pornography dishonors marriage denying conjugal rights in a marriage dishonors marriage i .e.

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celibacy in marriage how do we dishonor marriage?

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by exalting celibacy over marriage oh you know what I'm never going to get married because I'm going to be more spiritual than everybody else all the heathens that have to marry people

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I can withstand the brunt of this and I have the gift of singleness and celibacy it's a special gift from god and therefore

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I'm better than you or more spiritual than you that would dishonor marriage how would we dishonor marriage?

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answer unbiblical divorce does that dishonor marriage? does divorce dishonor marriage? the answer is it doesn't make it highly prized, it doesn't make it valuable, it doesn't make it like the precious blood of Jesus I read a leadership magazine article years ago and it showed a pastor in front of his congregation in knight's armor and uh...

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he had the helmet on as well and he lifted up the helmet like the hatch over his mouth and he said my subject today is divorce why did he have that stuff on him?

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because he knew the arrows were going to be coming it's like a pastor can't talk about gay marriage or divorce without feeling intimidation we dishonor marriage when we just think you know what

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I'm not in love anymore they don't do these things for me anymore I don't care for them anymore and therefore you know what no fault divorce we just get divorce that's a dishonor for marriage let's move from honor dishonor to another question how should you dear christian treat people who dishonor marriage how should you look at people in the world unbelievers and they're like I don't care jesus in the church and marriage and husband and wife and it can be three people it can be eight people by the way that's coming as many as we want two of the same kind a transgender an lgbtq two men two women fifteen people whatever it might be people that divorce a lot people that have all kinds of issues with it whatever it might be how do we act toward them what's the christian response to people who are sinful so let's just step back for a second how does jesus treat sinful people would probably be the answer to the question and what did he do what did they blame jesus for let's find out go to matthew chapter nine uh...

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just momentarily and i want you to see the heart of jesus for sinners and this should be ours our enemies we have but our enemies aren't other sinners matthew chapter nine what's our attitude toward sinners what's an attitude that people uh...

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should have here as christians when we meet people who say i dishonor marriage by my attitude my actions are my words how does jesus treat sinners of course there's no one like jesus what a friend we have in the lord jesus it says in matthew nine ten as jesus reclined at table in the house behold are you ready pay attention many tax collectors they were the worst and sinners people that said you know what i don't care what the mosaic law says i'm just going to do the opposite they came and were reclining not far away from him not social distancing sorry couldn't help myself with jesus as disciples but that was important because it's all close they're in tight it's a real fellowship and you don't sit up at a chair at the table like you do at our house this is reclining it's close what fellowship if you look in the window and you saw jesus and you didn't like him what would you be doing you'd be telling everybody birds of a feather i tell my kids you know that was a good choice for the friendship that you had with that person i can tell a lot about you daughter or son by the friends you make true except in this case well i can tell a lot about jesus too because he loves sinners he loves sinners and by the way before you think you know uh...

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uh... swells that mean jesus just you know accepted their sin absolutely not he came to bear sin to die for sin to judge him but when you have a big reception at your house full of sinners and you invite jesus he's going to come and it's interesting this reception here they were many tax collectors many sinners mark says many a bunch of times these people that collect taxes they were jews who went back against their own country because of the romans and sinners these lawless people what do you do for work i'm a pastor you ask these people what do you do for work i sin and there jesus is in the midst of it and it is the complainers who are the pharisees and when the pharisees saw this they said to his disciples too afraid to say something to jesus i would imagine why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners i mean he's willing to associate with him he's willing to be with them uh...

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come on you're gonna get contaminated and so are we if we walk in there we pharisees are the separated ones literally what is jesus thinking running around with all these sinner sinful people but when he heard it he said those who are well have no need of a physician but those who are sick go and learn what this means i desire mercy and sacrifice your your experts in the law here you go i desire mercy and sacrifice go study that for i came not to call the righteous sinners total embarrassment for the scribes he blistered them with these words jesus came into the world to save sinners first timothy won so he's not going to associate with them and again he doesn't commend their sin never does he do that but he is around sinners do doctors go to the physically sick spiritual doctors go to the spiritually sick the puritan brooks said for jesus to refuse to associate with sinners would have been as foolish as for a doctor not to associate with the sick and of course for us it's not us calling jesus the doctor because we know we're sick he comes and rescues us argues from scripture i desire compassion sacrifice that's the way we should treat sinners certainly not self -righteously like we're better and then our last passage today in light of that is romans one if you'll turn there with me romans one how do we deal with people who disagree with us this is not just for marriage by the way this is just sinners in life unbelievers in life friends and family in life who disagree with us and what do we do do we all move to antarctica i just think i read a story the other day a guy lost his wallet in antarctica fifty years ago and they just found it and returned it to him that's pretty good i don't know how many people go to antarctica i was swimming up uh...

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the north shore i think with kim and the kids twenty years ago and there was this thing floating in the water and i went over to it and i'm like this is something there it's not it's not like a fish and i went over and opened up and it was a wallet and it had an id in there from a student from north east university so i took the forty bucks that was in there and called the police i did not we're in between books of the bible nahum and second peter because i wanted to make sure you were shored up when it comes to marriage substitutionary atonement marriage husband and wife for this is what the lord has done uh...

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there's another reason there are many people here who for whatever reason their marriages they're hurting they're struggling we all need a checkup we all need to tune up i'd like to be a better husband many of you would like to be better husbands and wives but i want to make sure we don't somehow think we're better than everybody else and i think romans one is a good place to remind you of that when people disagree with god's view of marriage how do we treat them and so you remember in chapter one paul is trying to say everybody's sinful so they need jesus's righteousness you don't have any righteousness you don't do the right thing and to get into heaven you have to be perfectly right and so the first thing you need to know is you have god's word and you see like a mirror that you've got all kinds of spiritual blemishes so you go you know what i need to remedy that i can't remedy that but i know one who can because he's revealed himself as the risen savior so paul is first starting off with gentiles in chapter one how bad they are so they'll say you know what i need a savior and it says in verse twenty four of chapter one god gives them up for lusts verse twenty six there's another one god gave them up to dishonorable passions i .e.

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homosexuality men and women verse twenty seven men likewise gave up he's using this gave up language a lot and since they did not see fit to acknowledge god gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done and then for those of us that struggle with any kind of self -righteousness which i do and i'm sure you do in chapter one verse twenty nine and following there's a bunch of they's they did all this they did that and everybody here should say yeah that's obviously true they did it they're going to get it they're going to be judged and chapter one is about temporal judgment they will be judged look at them they did this they did this they did this they did that and we're all like yes that's true and they're going to get it they were filled with all manner of unrighteousness evil covetous malice they're full of envy murder strife deceit maliciousness their gossips slanders haters of god insolent haughty boastful inventors of evil disobedient to parents foolish faithless heartless ruthless and all the jews who got this message would go true true true true amen amen amen verily it's all true look at those unrighteous people they even invent evil they are just so wicked i'm glad i'm not like them i'm glad i'm not an adulterer i'm glad i'm not homosexual and then paul says in romans chapter two verse one you might as well be i'm not gay you might as well be i'm not a sexual sinner you might as well be and you're like what i mean i thought he was talking about them we're not like that i'm not like that that might describe them that doesn't describe me we mow our lawns and not on sunday we look good white picket fences but chapter two goes with chapter one therefore if you know those things are wrong you have no excuse if you know right from wrong you have no excuse every man who judges it even gets more interesting therefore you have no excuse oh man oh judgment man every one of you judges for in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself because you the judge practice the very same things he's basically saying listen you think unrighteousness is sinful and it is but something else is sinful too when you know unrighteousness is not righteous but you have unrighteousness in you and especially when you think you're better self righteousness i'm not like them by the way that's why i think people love the jerry springer show back in the day before he was like a senator or something i don't know why do people love i don't know what shows do they watch keeping up with the kardashians i don't know why do they like that and those people are messed up at least i have not fallen to such a place those people in chapter one they need a savior they're wicked they're awful they are inadequate but chapter two the noose comes around the people that know better the religious jew here the religious person in chapter two no judgment should come on the chapter one people and yet how do they measure up and so go to chapter two verse thirteen and this is really the key for the section of chapter two this has nothing to do with sanctification this has to do with if you would like to get to heaven and i hope you would because hell israel and it's awful and it's forever and it's irrevocable if you'd like to get to heaven here's what you must do this is like the rich young ruler coming up to jesus what must i do to be saved if you ask that question here is the answer verse thirteen the esb reads for it is not the hearers of the law who are righteous before god but the doers of the law who will be justified do you perfectly entirely exactly perpetually obey the law of god because if you do there'd be no reason god would say don't come into my heaven but since we don't we ought not to be saying look at all those people we ought to be thinking you know what that was me i see even still struggle with some of those sins and but god has intercepted me god has come for me he saved me he's he's loved me he's given himself for me and therefore i ought not to just say you know what those people are wicked and somehow we're way above that it's not the hearers of the law who are righteous before god but the doers of the law one old puritan said many have passed on the rocks of gross sins but have suffered shipwreck upon the sands of self righteousness we know the difference between right and wrong and we know what the bible teaches us about those that would despise and disdain marriage god's ordained marriage marriage that shows jesus loving the church and the church responding to her husband

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Spurgeon talks about self -righteousness i'm no worse than my neighbors in fact i'm a great deal better i do not drink or swear i do not commit fornication or adultery i am no thief the laws of my country do not accuse much less condemn me i'm better than most men and if i'm to be not saved god help those who are worse than i am if i cannot enter the kingdom of heaven then who can just so but then all that you claim

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Spurgeon said is that you are righteous as compared with others do you not see that this is a very vain and fatal and so therefore dear christian when we have people who are attacking the very foundations of christianity our response must be love our response must be kindness i didn't say it during the first service last week but only the second so this will be a review but our response when i move into the cul -de -sac where we live now with my wife and four kids and i talk about neighbors and i did my research to make sure that there were no crazy people in the neighborhood as much as i could uh...

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but then i i meet neighbors and i think across the street of the two lesbians it was interesting they said when they heard that the pastor and his wife were moving into town uh oh the pastor and his wife were moving into town and we ended up being the best friends with them out of anybody on our block practically and are still dear friends with them they they aren't the enemies they say well we we're pro gay marriage yeah i know that and i'm not and we're still i'm going to act toward them nicely and lovingly and friendly and everything else how could i think i'm better than you when i know me when i see the scripture and it's a mirror and i think you know what that is true the law of god is is like a mirror and we take it and it's like a i don't know if you ever get those mirrors that say ten x on them and there's a little button that's got a light and around the mirror the light goes have you look at yourself in those no men would say they would uh...