Focus on the Family

Welcome to No Compromise Radio, a ministry coming to you from Bethlehem Bible Church in West Boylston. No Compromise Radio is a program dedicated to the ongoing proclamation of Jesus Christ, based on the theme in Galatians 2, verse 5, where the Apostle Paul said, �But we did not yield in subjection to them for even an hour, so that the truth of the gospel would remain with you.

In short, if you like smooth, watered-down words to make you simply feel good, this show isn�t for you. By purpose, we are first biblical, but we can also be controversial. Stay tuned for the next 25 minutes as we�re called by the Divine Trumpet to summon the troops for the honor and glory of her King.

Here�s our host, Pastor Mike Abendroth. Welcome to No Compromise Radio ministry, Mike Abendroth here at the helm. No one else is here. Tuesday guy�s not here, Saturday guy�s not here, Alistair Begg isn�t here, no one else is here.

Just me. I�m very thankful to be here, so let�s get straight to the topic at hand, and that is, should we focus on the family? How about that? Is that straight to a Thursday kind of show? No, Thursdays is positive encouraging.

That�s a Caleb Thursday. What�s this? This is Go Get �Em Friday. This is Staccato Friday. This is I don�t even know what today is. Technically today is the day before Thanksgiving in America, but I have to tape these shows early because you never know what will happen, so we�re trying to get ahead of time.

So the goal is by May, probably June timeframe, that I have about 35 shows, as we say in the radio business, in the can. Because then if they�re in the can, then I�m free to flitter all around wherever I�d like to flit.

I�ve been working on a book about stewardship, the myth of stewardship, the myth of time, the myth of money. I don�t know why I�m doing it because my agent was putting me up to it. She said there was a publisher that would publish it if I wrote it, and so I wrote it and they don�t like it.

It was a sure thing. No, I only wrote about, I don�t know, 9 ,000 words. I guess they didn�t think those were so good. I thought they were pretty good, if I do say so myself. So now I�m going to just finish it, and I don�t know what�s going to happen.

It�s probably like the third book I wrote. Nobody wants to publish it. The fourth book will be published by Harvest House with Byron Eon and Clint Archer, but that�s not until 2014. So it�s a major strikeout around here, although I was very encouraged to hear that the folks in Germany would like to translate my book, book number one, into German.

That�s kind of odd, isn�t it? But I was thinking about family. How can we be good stewards of the family? And so I think today on No Compromise Radio, we should talk about that a little bit. I could just do regular kind of teaching today, but I think we want to spice it up.

I think we like that a little bit on No Compromise Radio. See, the bad news is controversy sells, and so to some degree I think we have to be controversial, although the tagline on the intro to the show, I hate it actually, but it can�t get it fixed at the moment with the staff budget decreases we have around here.

Always biblical, always provocative. That�s what I�m after. I�m not after controversy for controversy�s sake, although if I did do that, I think I�d probably get more Arbitron ratings than I�m getting now, considering the Arbitron ratings now are nil, but 800, 900 shows in.

We just keep on plugging. I�m very encouraged by the emails I get from around the world. Minus one a month that�s totally ballistic, but that�s okay. Hey, if you�re going to throw your voice out there in the public, you better be willing to take some shots, right?

The Family Is Not the Christian's Final Focus

So what about stewardship of the family? In Christian circles, especially thanks to the popular radio show, almost everyone could fill in the blank properly. Can you? Focus on the family. Oh, that�s obvious.

While the family is under obvious attack in our generation and needs all the encouragement it can receive, the radio show Focus on the Family would actually be more biblical if the name was, what should we call that?

Focus on the family serving Christ Jesus. Does that have a ring to it? Actually, I think James, I was going to say James McDonald, James Dobson, he�s not even the leader of Focus on the Family anymore.

That�s a question we should have in the show someday. I should ask Pastor Steve about that since he�s the expert on these kind of things. How can you start a ministry and then get kicked out of it and then they take it over and you have to go somewhere else?

I don�t know what his new deal is. I�m not sure. There�s a new radio show he has, I know, actually on this station, WVNE 760. The family isn�t the terminal foci for the Christian. As important and wonderful the family is for a Christian parent, child, church, the family is an institution, a divine institution given for greater purposes than itself.

No one doubts that the family is bombarded and attacked by secular and anti-religious media, education, and institutions. Certainly Satan is behind the well-planned carpet bombing approach in an attempt to destroy the family.

I mean, you can just see the scuds and the Patriot missiles that Satan shoots at. If the Lord restrains sin through the government, one, the church, two, and the family, three, it�s no wonder that the adversary, Satan, does everything in his power to thwart the purpose and plan of God through the government attacks, through the church attacks, and through the family attacks.

From another perspective, unbelievers regularly focus on the family, Mormons focus on the family, decent citizens focus on the family, Buddhists love the family and deem it important, while exceptions to these examples are numerous, the point still remains valid.

There is nothing particularly Christian about focusing on the family. Therefore the real question of stewardship of the family must deal with and recognize the family�s purpose for existence and the family�s relationship to the Lord Jesus Christ.

Lest anyone misunderstand, I know you would never misunderstand me on No Compromise Radio, the protection of the family is a non-negotiable, the family needs guarding, prayer, and shielding from hostile external forces.

What I want you to think through today on No Compromise Radio is how the family needs protection from making itself the end-all and be-all, so not just external forces, sometimes even internal. The focus must never be on the family alone, and actually, you know what, to be fair to focus on the family, they probably would agree with me, but their name lends itself to wrong thinking.

Christ must be the focus of every church, every person, and every family. When the family focuses upon the Lord of the church, everything is then seen properly and in its right place. So today on No Compromise Radio is the focus on the family.

Put another way, even if the focus was completely and fully on the family, there is more to do. The family can be viewed as important and valuable, God-given and wonderful, but it must not receive a new focus and concentration as the final or end point.

Rather, the family is God�s gracious work of love, perfectly designed to promote His agenda through His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. So how important is the family? Where did the family come from? Why must the family put its focus on Christ Jesus?

I think those should be some of the things we talk about today on No Compromise Radio. Think about the family�s significance. I just don�t have to go much farther than go to Psalm 128, highlighting what the Sovereign Lord thinks about the family.

Psalm 128 and God's Blessing on the Family

Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord, who walks in His ways. You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands, and you shall be blessed, and it shall be well with you. Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house.

Your children will be like olive shoots around your table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord. The Lord bless you from Zion. May you see the prosperity of Jerusalem all the days of your life.

May you see your children�s children. Peace be upon Israel. That�s Psalm 128. God abundantly blesses His children with families. What a gracious God. The refrain in Psalm 128 is �Blessed. Sinful people deserve curses from a thrice holy God, but God is gracious, long-suffering, and good.

The psalmist declares that a husband�s wife is a great reward, and in addition, the children are gracious trimmings to the family unit. A problem occurs when people do not think properly about Psalm 128.

Holy Spirit did not intend for the readers of Psalm 128 to understand that the family was an end in and of itself. God designs the family unit for a purpose, and that purpose is an outward focus, or better yet upward focus.

As wonderful as a family is, it�s not the end. When a marriage begins to have trouble, what happens? I think one of the things that a marriage does is when a marriage thinks it�s the solution, we have to work on our marriage.

When a marriage is built on the marriage itself, it�s going to crush because it�s too heavy. A marriage can�t withstand the weight of its own marriage. It has to put its burden on the Lord Jesus Christ.

Alright, let�s just do no-compromise style. I think a problem can be when a marriage between a man and a woman, that husband and wife, begin to concentrate on their marriage too much. That�s a problem?

Most of the wives out there are saying that would not be a problem. The marriage isn�t the end, it�s a means to something bigger and greater than the marriage itself. Marriages were designed by God to give Him glory.

Weddings inaugurate the launching pad for two people committed to each other in a holy covenant determined by the grace of God to give themselves to each other, so that their marriage might give itself to the praise of its maker.

When married couples forget this fact mentally and it manifests itself in the inner workings of their relationship, God graciously allows the couple to experience the fruit of their error�bad fruit by the way�the fruit of their error of building their marriage on their marriage.

Strife, impasse, and dissatisfaction then occur. Wives cannot be their husband�s ultimate need-meeters and absolute fulfillers. Married men quickly realize that the woman of their dreams cannot fulfill all of their dreams, hopes, and aspirations.

The problem is not with the wife, it�s with their husband�s false knowledge of marriage, false notion of marriage. Similarly, married ladies come face-to-face with the reality when they grasp the cold hard fact that their husband is not equipped to give them everything their heart longs for and needs in this world.

But all this sober realization is a very, very good wake-up call. God works through pain, suffering, disappointment, and heartache. God then has the full attention of the married couple. Marital bliss is still obtainable, but it is found not within the marriage itself.

Marriage satisfaction and happiness is found by remembering why they married each other in the first place, that is, to serve the Lord Jesus Christ and his church. Originally, the couple both recognized that they could better serve the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ as a married person better than they could single.

Marriage Is a Means, Not the End

Alright, let�s do some no-compromise stuff as well here. We don�t want to make this too mainstream. Maybe it�s not perfectly fair to call marriage built on itself cannibalistic, but since this is my show, I�m going to use that word.

The same holds true for any person in the world. Focus on self and the wheels of life fall off. When anyone loves themselves with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength, bad things happen and horrible emotions are felt.

Why does God allow such pain? Because God gets our attention as he lovingly disciplines us for our selfish behavior. When someone touches the hot stove and gets a blister-forming burn, they do not yelp, �God, I�m mad at you for giving me nerve endings at the tip of my fingers.

It is the goodness and grace of God to warn us through nerves and pain sensors of trouble. Pain motivates. Christian couples should be on the lookout for the pain that occurs when marriages are too ingrown.

Marriages without or with children are biblically constituted as a family. You�re not a family because you have children. You�re a family when you are a married couple, man and woman in marriage. Families should focus on the Lord Jesus Christ and his church.

Families with the fathers taking the lead should respond to their great salvation by serving the Lord and their neighbors out of hearts filled with gratitude. Now let�s think about this a little more.

Is possession or ownership nine-tenths of the law? Actually, sometimes they used to call it nine pints. This common expression derived from the Scots, �Possession is eleven points in the law, and they say there are but twelve.

Why can�t I say that with an accent? Possession is eleven points in the law, and they say there are but twelve. What�s the meaning here? That it�s easier to keep your possessions than it is to take them from someone else.

If people argue about property, the person in possession of the land or goods is presumably the right owner unless there is testimony to the contrary. While the government recognizes that parents are the legal guardians of their children, parents need to remember who ultimately owns their children.

The testimony of DNA does not overthrow God�s fundamental ownership. The infamous Hatfield-McCoy quarrel centered on Floyd Hatfield�s possession of pigs that McCoy�s declared as their swine. Squatter�s rights might have won the American Wild West, but God Almighty gives no credence to homesteading children.

God owns every child. Parents are simply stewards of God�s creation. Think about that. They�re not ultimately your kids. And so when you think about the focus of the family, you should be thinking about faithful stewardship of your family as you focus on the Lord Jesus Christ.

Regularly, the Bible teaches, children are given by God. That�s the refrain, given by God. Behold, I and the children whom the Lord has given me are signs in Israel from the Lord of hosts, who dwells on Mount Zion, Isaiah 8, Genesis 48.

When Israel saw Joseph�s sons, he said, �Who are these Joseph said to his father, �They are my sons, whom the Lord has given me here. Psalm 127, �Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb, a reward.

Psalm 127, verse 3, �Children are a direct gift from an all-loving God. Therefore every son and daughter is on loan. Every parent listening will give an answer to the Creator for the 18 years on average they took care of the children God gave them.

Children are great blessings, but they�re also trust from the Lord. They�re not rug rats, snotty-nosed brats, or worse, they�re gifts from God temporarily on loan. And by the way, if you�re an older parent, you get that, don�t you?

You realize the brevity of your ownership as they are now in college and their marriage years zoom toward them with lightning speed. Empty nests are reminders of the fact that parents do not own their children.

The dads and moms are only stewards of what the Lord has graciously and sovereignly entrusted to their care. The core family will not always be in place, so live in light of your children walking out of the house spiritually mature enough to be a Christian adult.

Marriage, Parenting, and Stewardship Before God

Well, my question today on No Compromise Radio expands why families should focus on Jesus Christ. Well, think about it. Every family preaches something about the relationship Jesus has with His church, specifically the husband and wife preach.

Now listen to Ephesians chapter 5 carefully with an eye toward the greater reality that Paul highlights. �Wife, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is head of the church, his body and is himself its Savior.

Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word, so that He might present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.

In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of His body.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. Now listen, this mystery is profound and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

However, let each one of you love his wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Did you see that? The husband preaches by his actions towards his wife how the Lord Jesus loves His church.

No wonder New England pastor Jonathan Edwards said, �Every Christian family ought to be as it were a little church, consecrated to Christ and wholly influenced and governed by His rules. If the family focuses on themselves, their children�s manners, successes or achievements, the family misses the ultimate goal for the family.

Every family needs to have a gospel-oriented goal and purpose. God�s glory and His Son�s atonement must be the priority. Parents should certainly strive to teach their children manners and proper behavior, but there is a greater goal, namely the exaltation of Jesus in the lives of every parent and child.

Listen to what Farley said, I really like his book, Gospel-Powered Parenting, �Their children will live forever. This is a staggering thought. We cannot imagine forever. Nonetheless, the destiny of our children either will be love that surpasses knowledge, joy inexpressible and full of glory, coupled with peace that passes understanding, or it will be weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth.

There is no middle ground. Therefore the Christian does not parent for this life only. The believing parent labors to prepare each child for the day of judgment. The stakes are inexpressibly high. Well, many people take slogans, radio, jingles, in this case radio show titles and make them a doctrine which drives behavior.

Christians, because of everything that Christ has done for them, must strive to focus their family on the eternal Son. The Bible, not successful radio ministries, should set the course for the family.

Well, what could you do? One, schedule family vacations at Christian camps or retreat centers. Many families spend thousands at secular resorts or theme parks, I'm not legalist saying you can't go to Disney World, but they rarely consider family camps that center on the Word of God and Christ the Son.

We love Mount Hermon, so that's where we end up going. Two, pray that God would make your house the most popular house in the neighborhood. Unbelieving children are drawn to homes where the love of Christ is valued and shown, then you can influence people with your family.

Three, have fun with your kids. Christians should have the most fun and the most joy. They worship a sovereign and good God who grants much fruit through His Holy Spirit. Danny Akin, I remember, he said when he was here, the number one key to child raising was having fun with your kids.

Of course, he meant other things, but that was his way to make emphatic that you should be having some fun with your kids. Four, dads must lead. Vacuums of leadership will certainly be filled when a father abdicates his God-ordained leadership because of laziness or busyness.

Bad things will happen in a family. A well-known feminist said, fathers are a biological necessity but a psychological absurdity. That is just so wrong. Farley, the guy I just talked to you about, William Farley, Gospel Power Parenting, he said the common denominator between success and failure seems to be the spiritual depth and sincerity of the parents, especially the spiritual depth and sincerity of the father.

There seems to be a strong correlation between the faith commitment and sincerity of the family head and the spiritual vitality of his adult children. Well, is there anything else you could do? I think if you read, especially in light of that, dads, if you read the Proverbs, you will see how you're supposed to be teaching and leading your children.

Proverbs 1, hear my son. Proverbs 2, my son. Proverbs 3, my son. Proverbs 4, my son. Proverbs 5, my son. Proverbs 6, my son. Proverbs 7, any guesses? My son. Proverbs 19, my son. Proverbs 23, my son. Proverbs 24, my son.

Proverbs 27, my son. Today on No Compromise Radio, we've talked about the family and how the family shouldn't be the focus. I know I'm probably just getting after the title, but every time I've heard that title, I mean, it's embedded into my mind, focus on the family.

Maybe they're focusing the Lord Jesus Christ on the family, what Jesus is doing in the family. I understand that. But you get my point as well, that the focus of the family, if it's on itself, the wheels are going to fall off.

So if you've got a family where the wheels are falling off, then, especially if you're a dad, now's a good time to think through the issues. Instead of complaining about the wheels that are falling off, why don't you say, this could be God's gracious reminder, the wheels are falling off so you can realign things, so that you can repent, so that you can do what God requires in His Word for your good, absolutely.

For God's glory, absolutely. So is your focus on your family? Is your focus on your wife? Is your focus, let's serve the Lord Jesus Christ together? We have a bigger reason for our existence than ourselves, that is serving the Lord Jesus Christ.

I found that to be a wonderful remedy for the family. My name is Mike Abendroth, NoCompromiseRadio .com. No Compromise Radio with Pastor Mike Abendroth is a production of Bethlehem Bible Church in West Boylston.

Bethlehem Bible Church is a Bible teaching church firmly committed to unleashing the life-transforming power of God's Word through verse-by-verse exposition of the sacred text. Please come and join us.

Our service times are Sunday morning at 1015 and in the evening at 6. We're right on Route 110 in West Boylston. You can check us out online at bbchurch .org or by phone at 508 -835 -3400. The thoughts and opinions expressed on No Compromise Radio do not necessarily reflect those of WVNE, its staff or management.