A Good Woman Doesn't Want Her Husbands Help with The Dishes

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Alright Tim, the question for today's episode is, does a good woman want her husband's help with the dishes? Absolutely not. Tim is always ready with the, here's what I've noticed. Tim, is you like to answer short answers for questions that most people would expect a very long-winded response to.

Right, and then I do the opposite. I answer long-winded ones on people.

Yeah, is that a fair, is that a fair, is that fair to say that you, it seems like that's the pattern here. That's a fair observation to make. I mean, it could be. I can neither confirm or deny this. Well, I just say that because I think this is one of those questions that, number one, obviously most people aren't going to ask anyway, but then number two, it's like if you force someone to answer this question, then there would be a lot of, you know, well, you know, apologizing, qualifying, whatnot, and then you're just like, no, no.

So, why no? Why no?

I mean, alright, so I think what people, people can't handle certain questions like this, they really have a hard time answering questions like this because you're living in a culture, society right now that basically has no expectations of a woman in marriage at all.

Okay. So, the primary group of people that we're addressing are people who are probably in traditional homes where man is working full-time and then a woman is staying at home with the kids or something along those lines.

Maybe with the kids, if they choose to have them or whatever, but most of the people, most of our audience are that kind of people. But then what most people, like, what they mostly hear when they hear a question like that, like, does a good woman want their help, their husband's help with the dishes?

Like, their mind immediately goes to, like, very rare situations, like, which, so they're trying to universalize a question like that instead of just getting into the mindset of that kind of question.

So, their minds immediately go to just like a woman who just gave birth, right? Does she want her husband's help with the dishes for the first couple of weeks after it? Well, obviously there might be situations like that where a good woman may want her husband's help a little bit around the house.

But then that's used to basically just ignore the point, right? So, the point of a question like this is to say, well, is there anything about homemaking that actually belongs to the woman as her job?

And that's kind of the sense behind this kind of question. So, what you're talking about when you're talking about a question like this, you're talking about like a philosophy of roles, essentially. And so, you know, for most people, like in our circles, they're more than happy to say, like, that it's a husband's job to go to work and provide for a family.

So, I did this poll on Twitter. I did it both ways. And so, you ask the question one way, you basically say true or false, does a good woman, a good woman doesn't want her husband's help with the dishes.

And I mean, I think it was like 30 said true and then 70 said false. But then I asked it the other way. I said like a good man doesn't want his wife's help providing. And it was the opposite. It was 70 said true, 30 said false.

I did it in the same day, but then I did it the same day. They could literally look on the timeline. And then I made a post about how funny it was and it didn't change the numbers. And so, what that tells you is that you're living in a society right now that they're more than happy to bind certain expectations on a man.

So, you think about what kind of expectations are being bound on a man and that kind of question. A good man doesn't want his wife's help providing for a family. Okay. What you've just bound upon that man is an expectation that he works 50 hours a week for the rest of his life in order to provide for her.

And you're okay saying a good man will own that and say, that's my job, right? Now, you're talking about the dishes, you're talking about 15 minutes a day. Okay.

Now, hang on, hang on. I want to go back 50 hours. That's like, let's be honest. That's like pre Biden inflation. Come on. We're talking 60, 70 hours.

All right. So, think about it. Dishes is 15 minutes a day. Come on. 20 minutes a day. You have a big family. You have to run the dishwasher twice. We're talking about, you have a machine that's going to do most of the work for you, right?

You have a machine that's going to do, and this is not like a big job. This is like a very small job. And so, you have a lot of young wives who are lazy and then they're gaslighting their husbands into thinking that they're so busy all day long and they just don't have time to do this.

And they desperately need their husband to come home and save them from the pile of dishes that are in their sink that's been in their sink past three or four days or whatever. And if you love me, you're going to do it for me because I just can't keep up with it because it's so much for me.

And it's just like, my goodness, look, I have guys who will reach out to me on a regular basis and basically just describe this scenario. They'll describe this kind of scenario where they go to work all day long.

They come back and the sink is full of the same pile of dishes. It's just getting bigger and bigger every day. And after a few days of it, they finally get the courage to say, are you going to do anything about it or something like that.

And then you have the wife who's just secretly bitter at the husband for not helping her with the dishes. And he comes home after 10 hours worth of work and he looks at her and he's like, what did you do?

If he's brave enough, most men are such wimps now that they're not even brave enough to ask. But what they're thinking in their mind is literally, what did you do all day? And they may have got the courage to ask it because they're wimps once or twice.

And then what they're invariably going to get in that kind of scenario is they're going to get a, Oh, a woman's work is never done. And I've been busy all day long. And what do you think it takes to take care of all these kids all day long and they're needy and all this stuff.

The problem though, is that most of those men in that kind of scenario, they know they're being gas lit. And I can validate they're being gas lit because I have five kids and almost every Saturday it's me at home with the kids because this is Elizabeth's day, my wife's, this is her day to go out and grocery shop and run errands and things like that.

And so, most of the morning, almost every Saturday I'm alone. And this has been the way, it's always been grocery shopping day, errand day has always been Saturday mornings at the very least. And I've been at home with my kids and I know it doesn't take very long to do anything.

Like I'm a man, I know how long it takes to get dishwasher loaded or whatever else. I know how long it takes to get kids fed for breakfast. I know how long it takes to get kids fed for lunch. And then I know how much time is devoted to, even with five kids, not knowing what to do essentially.

So, the big struggle that most families have is not having so much chores and housework and whatever else to do that they're just running out of time. You're living in a time right now where you have dishwashers, you have laundry, you have washing machines, you have dryers, you have microwaves.

You can feed people really quick if you want to and you can wash, it's not a lot of work. And the big struggle that most families have today is the struggle of trying to figure out how are we going to fill this time with God-honoring, productive activities.

Now, when you start adding homeschool to the mix, that's when you have a lot more on your plate. But a lot of these guys in these kinds of scenarios, they have one or two kids and they know that that same pile of dishes is in the sink all day long.

They know that those same piles of laundry are laying all over the house. And they're looking at their wife and they're like, what are you doing all day long? And what generally happens is those men, like their wives go shopping on Saturday too.

And they know that if they want to clean the entire house from start to finish with all their kids there while their wife is by themselves, they can get all of that stuff done that their wife is telling them is impossible to do.

They can get it done in like an hour and a half or something like that. They can clean the entire house by themselves with all their kids from start to finish. This is even without any help from the kids or whatever else.

They can get it all done in an hour and a half. And so, they're looking at their wife and they're saying like, what are you doing? And they know what they're doing. They're on their phones and whatever else, watching TV all day and just letting everything go.

So, the point of all that is just that ramble. You're asking a question like, does a good woman want her husband's help with the dishes? And my answer is like, absolutely not. And the reason why my answer is absolutely not is because like, there has to be something that a woman will own as hers.

Does that make sense? So, like we're okay with saying, all right, 50 hours husband, like you're going to devote 50, 60, 70 hours with Biden inflation to providing for a family. But then you're talking about like 50, like it takes 15 minutes to load a dishwasher, 20 minutes tops.

If you want to really stretch it and say, Hey, loading and unloading and doing all that, it takes 30 minutes a day. Even if it took an hour a day, that's nothing, right? Like that's nothing compared to like what a husband is doing, going to work for 10 hours a day.

And so, like the issue is like a woman who like, what you have to do is you have to say, okay, well, let's bring some sanity into this equation. Let's bring some sanity into this equation. So, like, what is it like in a traditional home?

What is it that we're going to say? This is a wife's job. That's hers. Like that she's going to guard as like, this is my job. This is what God has given me to do. And I'm going to do it to the glory of God.

And I'm going to learn to excel in it. And it's going to be mine. And I might just going to be secretly better at my husband for not taking this from me. Right? I'm not going to be secretly better at him from not taking it from me and helping me with it and everything else.

I can't help him with his job. So, he can't help me with my job. Like now, and I think like with almost everything that it takes to be a homemaker, there's a sense in which like logically, okay, woman can't go to work and do your husband's job, but you can do your wife's job, but you should be doing so much more than just the basic bare minimum, do the dishes, do the laundry, everything else that it should be like, like, this should be nothing.

Like you should have a routine set up to where, um, you know, this is something that our family has to where, you know, you basically, uh, first thing you do when you wake up, unload the dishwasher, right?

You have it unloaded. And then all day long, putting, you're putting your dirty dishes into the dishwasher. Then at night, you run the dishwasher and then wake up in the morning, first step, unload the thing.

Right? So, I mean, that, that gets, that's just being smart, having a routine, taking it as it goes. You don't need help with that. Like, what do you need help with that? Right? Like if you're unloading your dishwasher every morning and then you're loading it all day long, like you don't, you don't need help with that.

Like, like there's, there's no need. Like you just, like you have a job, your husband has a job and like a good woman will say, Hey, I want to honor my husband's hard work by taking my job seriously. And not just by being secretly bitter.

And trying to get him to do my job for me. Okay. Fair enough. This has been another episode of Bible Bashed. We hope you have been encouraged and blessed through our discussion. We thank you for all your support and ask you to continue to like and subscribe to Bible Bashed and share our podcast with your friends and on social media.

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