Introducing: A Practical Guide to Family Worship | Behold Your God Podcast

Welcome to the Beholder Guide podcast. I'm Teddy James, content producer for Media Grazie. Over the last several weeks of the podcast, we've wanted to present to you sessions from some of the previous films and studies that we've made throughout the years.

This year, we wanted to introduce you to something new. This is the Practical Guide to Family Worship. It's taught by Ryan Bush. If you're a longtime listener to the podcast, then you've met Ryan previously.

We did, I think, two or three episodes with him a few months back. But now, this is session one of a Practical Guide to Family Worship. Early one morning, a farmer in the bush of Africa left his family and his home to go out into his fields.

The Call to Family Worship and the Farmer's Story

As the day progressed, he grew weary and was looking forward to heading back home. And when he looked in that direction, what he saw caused his heart to drop. He saw a wall of flames and billowing smoke overtaking his home place.

He knew exactly what had happened. His neighbor, who was slashing and burning his fields in order to prepare to plant, had let the fire get out of control. Mercifully, the man's family wasn't there, but his house, his barn, his animals, they were all consumed.

The farmer walked over the blackened earth where his home place was. And as he did, he saw one of his hens lying on the ground, his feathers charred, body motionless. And for no good reason at all, he stuck his foot out and nudged the dead bird.

When he did, he heard the strangest thing. Cheep! He nudged it again. Same result, but louder. Cheep! Cheep! The farmer reached down and gently lifted the lifeless hen from the earth. And when he did, he saw underneath her dead body were four chicks, very frightened but very much alive.

Now what had happened? When the fire came blazing toward the barnyard, the hen saw the danger and she called her chicks into her and covered them, protected them with her wings. They took refuge there.

She took the flames so that they could live. If you are the head of the household, you have been called to provide for and protect your family. If you are the helpmate, the wife, you have been called to nurture and care for those in your charge.

You are both called to serve one another and to raise your children in the fear of the Lord. The Lord has provided for them and you are that provision. You are who you are and you have what you have in order to teach, correct, guide, discipline, and care for your children, those little lambs in your care.

Your life is meant to be given for them unto God. My aim is to help you to do that faithfully and biblically. When you do, you are joining your faithful ancestors who carefully watched for the souls of their family.

We do this by leading our families to worship the one true and living God in spirit and in truth. Consider that Adam and Eve, our first parents, witnessed the sacrifice of an animal to prepare skins to cover their nakedness and their shame.

They guarded in their hearts the holiness of God and their own sin sickness. How did Abel know that without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness for sin? Because his parents taught him. As the water subsided, after it subsided, Noah built an altar to the Lord and took some of every clean animal, some of every clean bird, and offered burnt offerings on the altar, Genesis 8 .20.

This act of worship, as well as all other acts of worship on the ark, were plainly family worship. Similarly, the patriarchs left evidence of their regular family worship at every encampment in the form of altars, Genesis 12 .7, 26 .25, 35 .1, and 2.

And this shouldn't surprise us because it's exactly what the Lord declared would characterize Abraham's responsibility toward his family. Genesis 18 .18 and 19 says, How did Isaac know, as he made his way up the mountain with his father Abraham, that the sacrifice was missing?

Well, because he had worshipped the Lord many times before with his father. These faithful saints spread their wings so that their families might refuge there. I have to be honest, I struggled with this for years.

Not that I didn't desire to care for my family's spiritual well-being, I just wasn't sure how to go about it. I struggled to maintain consistency. It was difficult for me to make it a priority. I felt insecure and unsure about how to carry it out.

Several years ago, I took stock of where I was investing my time and energy, and among other things, two truths about my role as a husband and a father came to the surface. First, I was struck by the fact that I would be held to account for how I shepherded the little flock over which God had placed me, my wife and five children.

Second, I realized that my faithfulness in shepherding my family came down to the decisions that I made day by day. I'd completed a two-year assignment on the foreign mission field. I'd pastored a local church for years.

I'd earned a master's and PhD from a seminary. Now, I was leading a missions organization, but I still wasn't caring for my family as I should have been. I was neglecting their spiritual well-being. Now, we were faithful in church, and I was diligent to protect them from harmful outside influences.

We would even spend time reading the Bible and praying together from time to time. But I knew deep down that I wasn't watching for the souls of my family in a way that was consistent with my confession.

It took some time, but eventually, thankfully, I gained a clear picture of how precious the souls of my wife and children are to their Heavenly Father and how weighty a responsibility I had been given to watch for them, to shepherd them.

Now, it seems to me that someone who consistently leads his family, his household, to worship the living God is a person who has two important pieces in place. First, he has the conviction to do it. And by that, I mean he's moved to do it.

I don't mean that he feels guilt-ridden or he feels pressured by someone else. That won't last. He'll fizzle out. He'll raise the white flag. He'll give up. By conviction, I mean someone who would move heaven and earth to make sure that his little ones may drink from the deep well of Scripture.

I'm talking about a person who says, I don't care what I have to give up. I don't care what I have to sacrifice. I will do whatever I must do to shepherd this little flock. The Lord gave me that conviction, but it was only half of the equation.

A person not only needs the conviction to care for the flock, but he also needs a plan. He needs something to put in place to hold him accountable and give structure, and that's what I lacked. For example, when the Lord convicted me of this critical work, I decided we would begin practicing family worship every day, sometimes twice a day.

I was bound and determined to be faithful in this work, and I knew that family worship should consist of the basic elements of reading the Scriptures, praying together, and singing spiritual songs and hymns unto the Lord.

That seemed simple enough, but it actually wasn't because every day whenever I would think about our times of family worship, I had to decide what would we read? Would I need to prepare a lesson to go along with it?

How long should that lesson be? How should we pray? Should we take up prayer requests? Should everyone pray? Should only one person pray? How would we sing? What song? Should we use a piano? Should I try to play my guitar with it, a pre-recorded track?

I think you get the picture. It became something that was overwhelming, something that I honestly dreaded because of all the work that went into preparing for it. Something that started out as joyful and exhilarating turned into a burden that resulted in poor family worship.

That set me on a quest to find some sort of help that would give structure, accountability, and depth as I gathered my flock around the kitchen table each day. After a while of searching, I was unable to find an aid with which I was satisfied, so I began compiling my own.

This took about two years of trial and error with ample feedback from my wife and from a covey of kiddos to finally produce a family worship guide. A guide to family worship is the result of those years of trial and error.

It's simple, repeatable, a practical guide that I believe can help families be more consistent and faithful in family worship. It certainly has helped me. Now, this guide is nothing new and there's no new invention here.

It's simply the ancient paths organized. There are six elements to this method that I use for family worship and that you'll find in a guide to family worship. The first is scripture reading, then a memory verse.

After that, catechism questions and answers, then a confessional reading, a pre-written prayer, and finally a hymn. And now, with the help of this aid, I gather my family together most days and lead them in a time of worship using that simple guide.

Now, fathers, I want to emphasize something to you. You are a shepherd. You're a pastor. Now, you may not be the pastor of a local church, but if you are the head of a household, then you are the pastor of that little flock.

No matter if it's you and your wife only or a growing number of little lambs, you have been given the responsibility to care for them not only physically, emotionally, but spiritually. Mothers, though you may not be the spiritual leader of the home, your God-ordained role is critical.

Listen to what Charles Spurgeon said, I am sure that in my early youth, no teaching ever made such an impression upon my mind as the instruction of my mother. Neither can I conceive that to any child there can be one who will have such influence over the heart as the mother who has so tenderly cared for her offspring.

Never could it be possible for any man to estimate what he owes to a godly mother. Certainly, I have not the powers of speech with which to set forth my evaluation of the choice blessing which the Lord bestowed on me in making me the son of one who prayed for me and prayed with me.

A critical component to sticking it out over the long haul is keeping your heart warm by the gospel fire. Be careful that you don't let a good plan take the place of a tender heart toward the Lord. If we don't seek nourishment for our own souls, then we will starve those we are ministering to.

Husbands, if your heart is not tender toward Christ and submitted joyfully to his word, then your wife's heart will shiver also. Mothers, if your soul is weak and feeble because you have neglected to feed it from the word of truth, then your children will end up spiritually famished with no interest in and no strength to lift their voices and hearts to the Lord.

Let me encourage you to make it a habit of preaching the gospel to yourself every day, multiple times a day. Not only does the gospel save us, but it sustains us. Preaching the gospel to yourself consists of this.

First, cause your heart to be still before the Lord. Then, rehearse some expression of the gospel message. Finally, allow the reality of the gospel message to affect you. As you do that, you will stay warm and tender before the Lord, and your sharing of God's word will have more power.

Your praying will be more humble and fervent, and your counseling will be more gracious, more life-giving. Preach the gospel to yourself. Richard Baxter wrote,. They will likely feel when you have been much with God.

That which is most on your hearts is like to be most in their ears. We are nurses of Christ's little ones. If we forbear taking food ourselves, we will famish them. One of the testimonies that has stuck in my own heart concerning the influence of parents on children is one that D. A. Carson shared about his parents.

He said this,. In the ranks of theological hierarchies, my father is not a great man. He's never served a large church, never written a book, never discharged the duties of high denominational office.

Doubtless his praying, too, embraces idioms and stylistic idiosyncrasies that should not be copied. But with great gratitude to God, I testify that my parents were not hypocrites. That is the worst possible heritage to leave with children—high spiritual pretensions and low performance.

My parents were the opposite—few pretensions and disciplined performance. What they prayed for were the important things, the things that congregate around the prayers of Scripture. And sometimes, when I look at my own children, I wonder if, should the Lord give us another 30 years, they will remember their father as a man of prayer, or think of him as some distant person who was away from home rather a lot and who wrote a number of obscure books.

That quiet reflection often helps me to order my days. Brothers and sisters, may that quiet reflection help us to order our days. My hope is that, as you reflect upon the weightiness of this good work, you would begin to take concrete steps toward intentional shepherding through family worship.

Your first inclination may be to get started immediately. You may desire to gather your little flock together as soon as possible and begin family worship. I commend that desire, and if you're excited about practicing family worship, I praise God for that sign of His grace in your life.

But let me give you some counsel. Start slow. I'll comment more on this later, but if you start today, then begin with a simple order. Read a short passage, sing one stanza of a hymn that your family knows well, and pray a prayer to end.

Besides that, I would like to call you to consider another step before diving in. I want to call you to a very specific action that I believe will help strengthen and stabilize your conviction. Before beginning family worship, come before the Lord and pour your heart out to Him.

This isn't a matter of seeking God's will. We know it's God's will that you shepherd your family well. This time of prayer is a matter of repenting. Repenting of the sin of neglect, selfishness, pride, laziness, rebellion, or whatever other sins have kept you from shepherding your family well.

If you are in Christ, those sins have already been paid for. If you are in Christ, there is now no condemnation, no wrath. If you have sinned, you have an advocate with the Father, Christ Jesus the righteous.

Seek His forgiveness and ask His help moving forward. Also, husbands, I want to call you to a specific action. Before you begin practicing family worship, come before your wife and your children and speak with them tenderly about this matter.

If you need to ask their forgiveness, then do so. Explain to them that you desire to care for their spiritual needs, to shepherd them faithfully. Help them to understand the deep affection that you have for them in Christ Jesus and that you take seriously your responsibility to watch for their souls.

Also, give them a chance to ask questions about family worship. Talk to them about the practicalities of it. Help them to understand what it will be like and what they should expect. Okay, in our next session, we will consider in greater detail a plan for family worship.

Encouragement, Obedience, and Obstacles in Family Worship

So Ryan, we just finished with session one and while I'm listening to you teach, there's this little voice in the back of my head that says, you know, Ryan has his doctorate, two years on the mission field, large family, read lots of books.

I think the bridge to cross for him to start doing family worship may not be so quite so long as someone who's a new believer or who doesn't feel qualified to be able to teach. What kind of encouragement can you offer to someone who is a new believer and has just learned about family worship?

Yeah, this is a real struggle and challenge for a lot of people and actually not even just for new believers. I had been a believer for a decade and had a family for years before I was able to really get in a routine of caring for my family's souls regularly and through family worship.

So I want to say first that though I, yeah, I did go to seminary and have been in ministry a long time, it was hard for me and I think I faced the same doubts and worries and insecurities and struggles as anybody else does.

So I guess what I would say to that person is it's hard for everybody. It was hard for me. There's parts of it that are going to be hard for you, but push through and hopefully these sessions will help with that, but I would encourage that person not to let the feeling of inadequacy to cause them to set that responsibility aside or to think that that justifies not pursuing faithfulness in that area.

So being equipped and looking for help and encouragement can aid you, but don't let those feelings of, well, I've got too long of a bridge to cross keep you from tackling this important aspect of your role.

And also trust in the Holy Spirit. Yeah, absolutely. He will equip and give and strengthen where you need. Yeah, and we're talking about a matter of obedience here. The Lord has called us through His word to care for those that are in our charge spiritually, and when the Lord calls us to something, He also sustains us and provides what we need to do it.

That doesn't mean it's going to be easy, but it does mean that He will be with us and help us in it. Absolutely. Now, there may be one parent who's a believer and has the conviction to do family worship and another parent who is either not a believer or may just say, that's not important.

We're not going to do that. What counsel can you offer for that situation? Yeah, that's a tough one. I think that would probably be one of the toughest positions to be in as a husband or a wife. So first, what I would say to that person is, I know that's got to be hard.

And of course, there's all sorts of different situations, contexts that that can take place in, and each of those different situations would warrant a different response, different sorts of counsel. But I think what typically is the case there is that there's a wife who desires to be led spiritually, who desires the head of the household to lead in family worship, to lead in prayer, to read the Bible to the family.

And the husband, either he's not a believer or he's a believer, but simply isn't interested in that and hasn't shown any leadership in that. So what I'd say to that wife is, one, to pray, to pray fervently for her husband that the Lord would convict him, that he would develop a desire to do that.

If he's not a believer, that he would be saved. A growing Christian, a growing husband will head down the road of leading his family spiritually. It might not happen all at once, but he will eventually.

Pray that he would be growing. Pray that he would be saved if he's not. Also, I'd say to that wife, live in a manner that adorns the gospel. If you live in a way that causes your husband to see the beauty of the gospel, then I think that the Lord will use that to bring him to obedience or possibly bring him to faith in Christ if he's not a Christian.

Also, be careful not to undermine your husband's authority, not to make decisions or take actions there to make him think that you have placed yourself over him. I think that can be a dangerous position to be in.

You can take some steps to nourish your children in the types of family worship and spiritual activities. So pray for your children when you're putting them to bed. Read the scriptures to them in a way that doesn't undermine your husband's authority but still gives your kids a chance to hear the scriptures read.

Put on good, solid Christian music in the car and places like that. So there's a number of things that a wife can do. Now, if the roles are reversed and the husband desires it but the wife is not interested, well, I think that the husband should take the lead and lead family worship, have times of family worship.

Lead his wife gently, but don't set that responsibility aside simply because the wife isn't interested in that. Still lead your family spiritually and try to bring your wife along gently, tenderly as you can.

It takes time, it takes patience, but you have to lead your family. Let's talk something else very practical and even personal. How do you prepare your family for family worship? I know you do it in the morning.

So there's hustle and bustle, everybody's getting ready. But then also, if a family does family worship at lunch or at night, kind of what is your call to worship? How do you begin and settle, especially restless young ones down before starting this?

Yeah, and so we don't always do it in the morning. Sometimes in the morning, sometimes we do in the evening. It really depends on the day. So I have experience in trying to settle folks down during all periods of the day in all sorts of situations.

And I'll tell you, and anybody who's practiced family worship knows that it's not neat and tidy. It's a messy business, wonderfully, gloriously messy. But my call to worship usually is, for example, a common thing for us is in the evening to do it right after dinner.

So we'll be eating dinner and I'll tell the kids, hey, we're almost done. I want you to clear the dishes and then we're going to have family worship. Get your family worship guides and Bibles and we'll start in just a few minutes.

And when they get there, I try to make a clear distinction because there's always talking, there's always pestering, all that sorts of stuff. But I'll get their attention and say, okay, we're entering into our time of family worship now.

So you all know what that means. Let's focus. Don't say anything right now. I want you to listen. And if you have a question, you can raise your hand. And I'll usually say, I try to affirm to them that this is important.

I'll say, I love you very much. Let's worship the Lord together. This is fitting for us to do now. And let's pray. And that's how I'll get it started. We'll start with the prayer and then we'll begin to work our way through the family worship guide.

Closing Encouragement and Podcast Updates

Again, this has been session one from a practical guide to family worship taught by Ryan Bush. This is a brand new study produced by Media Gratia and it's available for presale today. So click the link in the description below or go to mediagratia .org and you'll get more information there.

Now, before I let you go, I have one more announcement. Next week, big changes are coming to the podcast. There's going to be a new set. If you happen to be watching this, you're getting a sneak peek of that now.

You may even be able to hear a bit of a difference. We've upgraded our audio equipment and all kinds of other things. So let me just encourage you next week. You're going to see lots and lots of changes, including a new name.

So I don't want to give away too much, but we pray that God will continue to use this podcast as a blessing and an encouragement to you and as a vehicle by which he glorifies himself. Thanks. We'll see you next week.