On JD Hall - I'm Sorry (Serious Video)

All right, so I was watching David Morrill on Protestia tonight talking about the J .D. Hall situation, and before I begin, let me just explain why I've decided to do this video, because I actually decided a while ago that, you know, I probably wasn't going to comment on the J .D. Hall thing.

You know, oftentimes when there's a scandal in evangelicalism or, you know, something happens, you know, people wonder why I'm not commenting on it. This happened with Ravi Zacharias, this happened with—who was the other guy?

I don't remember. There was something else that happened recently, and, you know, that's not what this channel's about. You know, I'm pretty much focused on the Woke Church stuff, you know, and Big Eva in general, but also just as it's related to the Woke Church and the Me Too stuff and all of that, so that's why I've pretty much decided not to comment on it.

You know, I have no love for Ravi Zacharias, but I wasn't going to comment on him either, but I do actually have love for J .D. Hall, and, you know, people kept, you know, asking me, hey, comment on this, comment on this, please, please, and a few people were telling me that I was an idiot and that I should have known that he was addicted to Xanax somehow, even though I've never met him and all of that, and I assumed that everyone that wanted me to comment on it was like that guy, was just going to be like, you are—you should have known, you know, stuff like that.

But I responded to one person, and God bless you, I forget your screen name, and, you know, you asked me if I was going to comment, and I said I hadn't planned on it, and you said, I hope you do, because I really think, you know, J .D. needs some support.

Why I Decided to Comment on J.D. Hall

And that really hit me. I saw that comment yesterday. I went out fishing this morning, and it was a very quiet, you know, morning, very foggy, so I was very—I felt very isolated on the water, and just alone with my thoughts and God, and, you know, I just felt like I had to say something, because I really don't want people to miss the Gospel in all of this, because, you know, J .D., one of the things that he's known for is, at the start of every episode or the end—I didn't really watch a lot of his content, to be honest.

If I was interested in the topic, I would, but very often I wasn't interested in the topic, because again, I'm pretty focused on this one thing, but he would always start with a very, you know, thorough explanation of the Gospel, and he would say it every time I watched him.

And, you know, to be honest, sometimes it felt like he was rushing through it to get to something else, but most of the time it felt like he was—this is the first most important thing. This is the reason why he does the content.

And as I was alone on the water, you know, I just I just felt so sad, because so many times he said that. He's preaching this Gospel, and he knows what he's been up to, and it's like you're almost like you're convincing yourself.

I've been there, man. I've really been there. And so I just want—J .D., if you watch this video, I don't think you're watching anything right now, and good for you, because you need to get it together.

I know that, but you have my support, man. You do. Yeah, guys, you know, one of the things that kind of made me so sad when I first heard about his dependencies and some of his behavior, or at least some of the allegations of behavior, because I honestly don't know what is true or what's not.

I mean, I don't know. I mean, this is not the kind of thing I like to look into, but the Xanax dependency is something that I think is confirmed. One of the reasons why I didn't want to really comment on it, and I felt so emotional about it, is because I used to abuse Xanax myself, and I actually had a friend who was initially prescribed Xanax, but he used to abuse it as well.

He would provide me the Xanax, and he's since passed away, and it was never really told to us what happened with that, but to me, it sounded like he finally mixed Xanax and alcohol one too many times, which I used to do myself, and when you do that, those are two kind of downers.

When you do that, sometimes your heart just stops. Sometimes your lungs just stop, because you're just so relaxed that your body just shuts down, and that was one of my first friends that was a very close friend that passed away due to this addiction.

That easily could have been me. I don't think I was ever dependent on Xanax, but I used to abuse it almost every weekend and always with alcohol, and if you look it up online, Xanax and alcohol is probably one of the most dangerous combinations that you can do, and I would do it every weekend.

I would do other drugs too, but that was one that we did all the time. I would crush up the pills, and I would snort it, and all of that. I was a real degenerate, you know what I mean? The thing about addictions is that sometimes you can't hide it, you know what I mean?

Some people just are very bad at hiding their addictions and their behavior, but to be honest, none of my co-workers knew about what I was up to on the weekends, and just about every day. I would drink every night, and even my friends, even the friends I did Xanax with and other things, you know, they didn't know about my worst behaviors, you know what I mean?

Even the people I abused drugs with, and I was in person, um, didn't know what I was up to, you know what I mean? I was able to hide it, and this is before I was a believer, so I, you know, I didn't really have a theological—well, that's not true, because of course I knew God existed, even though I didn't acknowledge it.

I didn't have like a ministry to uphold that that's why I was hiding it. I just was—I just had a lot of shame about it, you know? And it's—that's—that might be weird to hear, because like, I was doing drugs with people, you know what I mean?

Like, I wasn't doing them alone. We were all hanging out, and we would all—we would all have fun, you know, and—but I had a lot of shame about it. There's just no question about it. I was—I was brought up in a Christian home and all of that, and I don't know why.

I mean, I never thought about God, but I definitely had a deep sense of shame, and so I was able to hide it and what I would be up to very easily, really without trying, and you know, I'd go to work every day, and I'd be there at eight in the morning, and I'd work till six at night, at least, and I would do—I would do drugs during the week, not every day, but I would drink just about every day, and no one was the wiser.

I mean, I did—I performed well at work, and I—I wasn't really late ever, you know, things like that, and—and all of that. So, you know, to all these people that are—that are trying to like, rip like John Harris and—and I don't—I haven't really received a lot of this, just a few comments, but I know Protestia is—is—is getting—fielding a lot of these—these accusations like, you knew all along and stuff like that.

Guys, you just don't know what you're talking about. That's—that's not how drugs work. Sometimes you know when someone's on drugs, and sometimes you don't, and sometimes you know about someone's bad behavior, and sometimes you don't.

I—I—I feel like that's—that's—that's one main thing I wanted to say. The other thing is that the reality is that—that I—I believe full well that J .D. believed that gospel that he—that he preached every episode and on Sundays, and I believe that his church likewise believes that gospel, and, you know, I just—it's a—it's a real tough thing to think about, believing that and knowing you've got this secret, maybe even a few secrets.

It's just—it's hard—it's a hard—it's a hard place to put my own mind. But I'm grateful that the Church is—has—has disqualified him from ministry. Obviously that's the right thing to do. These are—this is a serious sin, even if it's just the Xanax dependency.

It's a very serious thing. You're not in your right mind. I—I don't really know how to explain it so much. It's like, let me give you an example. So I've said this before on the channel, that I used to really like cocaine, and my—my saving grace, like, God—God put this fear of buying drugs in me, and that probably saved my life, because I would never buy them myself.

I would pay for them, but I have a friend who always do the transaction. In fact, this is the friend that passed away. He actually enjoyed buying drugs. I'd always give him the money, and he'd, you know, get me the drugs.

But the point is that when I would—when I would do cocaine, like, I was always—I was always, like, in my right mind, in the sense of, like, I could—I knew what was what. I could make decisions and stuff like that.

But there's this thing inside—and—and the next day, you know, I'd always go to work, and I'd be able to fulfill my duties just fine, and I—like I said, I performed very well and all that. But there's a—there's, like, a priority order—reordering in your mind.

Like—like, I would do the stuff that I needed to do. That wasn't a problem, but there would always be this priority that I would put, and—and it's not like I'd put it over certain things, but just a definitely inordinate priority over getting some more of and—and making sure that I had more so I could do more and I could, you know, be right, you know, things like that.

And it's just a very—I don't know how to explain it. You're in your right mind, but you're not. And when I was on Xanax, it was the same kind of thing. It was like, you're—you're in your—it's not—it's not like cocaine.

They're totally different, but this—this—this reordering of priorities is the same. It's like, I was in my right mind, but not really. It's very difficult to explain to someone who's never done it before, but I have a lot of sympathy for addicts, and—and it's just so sad to hear that—that J .D. was doing this.

I guess—I guess—I guess that my point is that I'm glad that the Church is doing the right thing. I'm glad that the Church is—certainly seems to be taking it very seriously, because it is serious. It's deadly serious.

And I hope—and I don't—I don't talk to J .D. I mean, I've talked to him a few times, but I—I don't think I have his number. I've heard he's changed it anyway, so whatever. But I hope that he's submitting to the Church discipline—discipline process.

I've heard he is, and—and that's—that makes me feel very good, because that's the only thing that's—that can—that can help this situation. I—I—I don't know what—if I expected him to or not, like, I—I believed he was a believer, so I guess you always expect a believer to submit to Church discipline, but—but, you know, honestly, I'd be a—I'd be a fool to—to think that the negative press that he gets hasn't affected my opinion of him.

I—I definitely have. I'll tell this story. When I was—when I—when I—when I resigned from the pastorate—and I've told this story—I didn't get disqualified or anything like that, but I've told this story elsewhere—but when I resigned from the pastorate, J .D. was under the impression that I got, like, quit—like, I quit fired, you know?

So, like, I was really fired, but they allowed me to resign to save face. That's not what happened, but J .D. was under that impression. And there were two men who reached out to me to ask if they could help.

There were two men, because they—I don't think these guys—I don't think anybody really knew that I wasn't a full-time pastor in the sense, like, I didn't make my income from being a pastor. There were two men that—that were willing to help in any way, you know, money, referrals, you know, get me another job kind of thing, and one of them was James White, so thank you for that.

And I don't know if you offered me any, like—I don't—James White didn't offer me anything specific, but he did offer to help. And J .D. Hall. And I had not known J .D. Hall. I had never spoken to him, not even one time, at this point.

And he wrote an article about that—about that situation, and he offered to help in any way he could. And I, you know, I don't know. This is—this is kind of rambling, but I guess my point is this. I'm glad that the Church is doing the right thing.

Church Discipline and the Seriousness of Sin

You know, I'm grateful to hear the reports that J .D. is submitting to the Church discipline. It's a very, very serious situation. Xanax is no joke. I just want to stress that. Like, it—just because it gets prescribed like PEZ, and it does.

I mean, honestly, like, people close to me have considered taking Xanax, and I've always reacted strongly against it. Just because they hand it out like candy, it is no joke. Xanax is no joke. So, it's a very serious situation, and I hope that he gets the help that he needs.

It sounds like he is, and I'm praying to that end. And J .D., you have my support in that sense. Yeah, that—yeah, it's—I feel like I'm rambling. I feel like I have to end this, but it's not surprising to me at all, David, if you watch this, that you didn't know.

I mean, because as far as I know, you encounter him mostly on the phone, and the video, and the internet, basically. Like, it can be hidden, even for people in person. It's not surprising to me at all that his church didn't know he was addicted to Xanax.

That's, like, any drug person understands this. If you've never experienced drug people, some people, they're very sloppy, and it's very obvious, and other people can hide it so well. So, it's not surprising at all that people are saying, oh, the church should have known.

This one guy, you know, he came at—I didn't respond to him, but he came at strong against me. The church should have known. They should have excommunicated him years ago. It's like, for what? Like, what are you talking about?

You don't know what you're talking about. Anyway, so yeah, I guess that's all I wanted to say. I just, you know, urge people that, you know, people might be thinking about, like, you know, blasting this dude, which, you know, look, he shouldn't have done this.

He could easily blast the behavior, but just remember that gospel that he believed and he preached every time he turned on his camera. I don't even do that. That gospel that he preached every time he turned on his camera is powerful enough to save J .D. Hall from his sins, and just because his sins are public and many, that doesn't change the power of the gospel, and I just urge you to think about that.

I urge you to think about that. Yeah, I'm just trying to think of what else I could say, but I feel like I've made my point. God bless you guys. I hope you found this video helpful. I'm actually going to put a video up later today—excuse me— about the fish I caught while I was contemplating these very serious things this morning.

I caught three fish, and I was out for, like, two hours, and the three fish that I caught—well, the three trout that I caught—were, like, back-to-back-to-back. It was, like, two of them were within three casts—excuse me, no, two of them were within two casts, and then another one was a few minutes later, and then nothing for the rest of the time.

Fishing is so weird. In any case, I hope you found this video helpful. God bless.