Spiritual Leadership (part 2)

The Need for Biblical Boundaries in Leadership and Parenting

Our great father as we come before you this morning we think of What this Sunday represents the first Sunday of December how the world is frantically? Entering the holiday season so called What we gather today in the name of Christ to worship him to worship you to worship The Holy Spirit and to just praise you three in one for all that you have done for us father we pray that as we look to your word as we Ponder spiritual leadership as we look at what it is what it isn't we pray that you bless our time strengthen our homes.

Our families and our church we pray in Jesus name. Amen. Well, we started talking about spiritual leadership last week and as as we left Pastor Bob made the comment. He said, you know, he said something about leading from behind.

And I thought about that this week, and I thought you know what? It's a great point. We don't lead from behind right or we do in a sense because we're. We're shepherds and we want to make sure nobody's lost.

But we have to be out in front of the flock. We lead them forward. We're not cowboys driving the sheep. We're shepherds. Leading the sheep and I thought you know, it's a good metaphor for Christianity generally because Christianity is not a passive Religion it's not and leadership isn't passive either.

You can't be passive in your home. Let me give you. You know kind of a truism you don't have to write it down because you'll remember it and if you don't know it already if you haven't heard me say It a dozen times then you'll have heard it a couple of times this morning.

You don't get what you expect you get what you inspect. Somebody said that once to me and I thought this is true right as I as I was in middle management I didn't get what I expected. I expected people to do their job, right?

Sometimes they did sometimes they didn't depend on how good they were. I got what I inspected what I checked up on and you find that to be true with your children true or false. It's absolutely true, right?

Clean up your room. I did. Back in there ten minutes later. It's a disaster that you cleaned it up. Well, I thought I did. What does that even mean but the same is true in life generally right we get what we inspect not what we expect.

But getting back to leadership to the church. Wanted to ask a bigger a big question kind of and it's one that applies to the home as well. Why do we want to? Most of the time anyway, I mean, I think there are exceptions.

But why would why do we want to restrict ourselves to Scripture? Why do we want to restrict ourselves to what the Bible says and I gave some bad examples last week. Why we wouldn't want to go beyond the boundaries of Scripture, but can you think of reasons why you don't want to go past?

What Scripture says? Okay, it's not the Word of God. Right. My opinion can be Fallible. I know that's hard to believe. And my wife's not here to refute that so we'll just go with that. Our opinions are fallible what we think is fallible we're sinful.

And when we go past what Scripture says we wind up in What we call, you know legalism we wind up with the rules of men the precepts of men rather than the precepts of God and As leaders in the church, we don't want to do that because first of all The Bible says not to but secondly if we just think about any time like if I'm preaching this morning I give you some rules that I've just made up and I hold you to them as if they're commandments of God.

Well, that's legalism. It's adding to the gospel. And then what comes to my mind is James 3 verse 1 which says Let not. I know you guys know it. You don't want to be a teacher. Why. Because you're gonna have a stricter judgment.

Which makes sense and I thought well this applies to parenting as well because guess what? By virtue of the fact that you're a parent you are a teacher. You're gonna have a stricter judgment. There's going to be.

I Mean the exact verse says not many of you should should become teachers my brothers for you. Know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. Well, there's a responsibility that comes with teaching.

There's a responsibility that comes with parenting. Responsibility that comes with I guess in the bigger umbrella leadership by the way, is there anyone here who has children who doesn't think that being a parent is Inherently spiritual leadership and you know as I as I thought about it I I think one of the big problems and it's not just in the world.

It's also in the church. If I could put it in two words, I'd say this passive parenting. Passive parenting. What is passive parenting? Okay, letting them do whatever they want to do because guess what?

The right the rationale goes well, they'll find their way. It's like they come into the world little adults and you just have to kind of step out of their way and let them go. That's one way of looking at it.

It's the wrong way of looking at it. We are teachers whether we want to be or not, especially if you have kids you are a teacher. That's right. Pastor Bob said the kids are gonna follow you no matter what you do.

So if you just let them do their own thing, their idea is what well I could do my own thing. I Used to be amazed. When I was growing up by what? Some of my friends were allowed to get away with. I just go you did what I couldn't even imagine it because I knew.

You know pretty much. You know, but then again, I was an ex-con at the age of like six. So I'm not even kidding. You know, we we went over to visit some friends. They were gone and you know. We just helped ourselves to everything in their house food, you know mostly but That did not go well.

I Was terrified of my parents sort of, you know I I just cannot imagine some of the things I would see these kids doing or saying to their parents. What's that? Yes, yeah, I mean the way it's it's role reversal, right that the children are leading and the and the parents are like Aye aye captain and just go what's going on?

I mean, I remember one one of my friends I was over at his house and I listened to him talk to his mom and I'm going. I Wouldn't even get halfway through that little speech and I'd be gone but back to the bigger picture limiting ourselves to scripture.

Understanding what scripture says, right we need to do that Scripture is perfect. We are not somebody said we're fallible. You know, what does the Bible say about itself? Let's look at Psalm 19 for a moment.

I'm gonna get into some specifics about leadership in a minute, but I just wanted to finish setting this up Psalm 19 verse 1. And just listen to all the adjectives to describe the Word of God the law of the Lord is perfect reviving the soul the testimony of the Lord is Sure, making wise the simple the precepts of the Lord are right.

Rejoicing the heart the commandment of the Lord is pure enlightening the eyes the fear of the Lord is clean enduring forever the rules of the Lord are true and Righteous all together. That was verse 9 by the way 19 no, I think that's Psalm 19.

Sorry verse 1 and then I went to 8 and 9. I just kind of skipped there a little bit. Listen to question 3 of the Westminster shorter catechism. What do the scriptures principally teach or does anybody have that memorized question 3 of them?

What's just okay? What do the scriptures principally teach. The scriptures principally teach and what I enjoy about the catechism by the way is. You can at least get the first few words the answer. Because it just repeats the question right?

What do the prince of the scriptures principally teach the scriptures principally teach? See you already got the first four words. What man is to believe concerning God and what duty God requires of man?

So, why do we want to be bounded by Scripture? Because that's what it does it teacher teaches us what we're to believe about God and What God requires of us? So with regard to the church, you know, why do we have deacons and elders?

We have deacons and elders because The Bible says we should have elders and deacons. Specifies what their qualification should be and says what they're to do in the church. Why do we sing in our worship services?

Why do we preach? Why do we read Scripture? Why do we give? What's the other thing we do? Said sigma Sing pray every scripture preach. Let me see. I Guess I was it. Sing preach give read read scripture and pray right?

So five things, okay. And we call that the regulative principle, but it's because each of those is delineated for us in Scripture. That's why we do what we do and why we don't do other things. Why we don't have dance teams.

Why we don't have drama teams. Recently heard a prayer request not here, but somewhere else where it was for another church a third church entirely and they want a prayer because. Like somebody in the drama team was sick or whatever and I go.

Okay, I I mean I appreciate the fact that somebody that church is sick on the other hand. I'm like Drama team. What does that even mean? You know people get up and they put on a play. I mean, we've seen it.

We've heard about it, but it's just kind of a an unusual thing. Where would we find that in Scripture? Put on a play during church services and We wouldn't. Anything the elders set up or the deacon set up or anybody here sets up apart from Scripture is open to discussion.

But what the Bible prescribes what it tells us to do is not open for discussion. You know people say you know what? I don't like that. You guys read Scripture. Can we please not have? Exposition during the service.

No Bible tells us do that. We want to be. We want our boundaries to be the Word of God. We want to stay within those boundaries. Now let's talk about Leadership this is in the church and at home. Leadership requires Knowledge if you work in the business world or even if you work in the government like I did.

The job has a description there are things that have to get done. Where I was you know there are specific Design to the building we had procedures and all that and if I didn't know what those things were.

Then how can I a teach new employees what to do? Be expect the people who work for me to do them because I don't know how to do it. I To be more Specific and hands-on about it. There's a lot of Hubbub furore there's a lot of foo-for-all about things like Should a woman be teaching and preaching from the pulpit should she be teaching men?

It's pretty clear if we understand what the Bible says right the answer is no. First Timothy chapter 2 tells us that first Timothy chapter 3 tells us that etc. Etc. Etc how do you say first Timothy chapter 3 says that because to be an elder one must be the Husband of one wife and in spite of what the law the changes in the law that's male and female doesn't mean anything else and You can't decide that you're a man, and you know preach none of that stuff applies.

But here's the point. In order to lead you have to know something in order to teach you have to know something. Harry Truman said that this he says not all readers are leaders, but all leaders are readers.

What happens the moment we stop, you know, it's like for some of us like the minute we stopped high school college grad school we stopped learning in. That same way it's kind of like as a parent we think we no longer have to learn what we constantly have to learn.

I'm amazed. I would not I have to confess. I would not want to have little ones at home these days. Because I'm just like in the in the world of Facebook and Texting and all these other things. I'm like, how do you just kind of keep a lid on all that?

It's more complicated I think than ever and yet if you don't keep up with some of what's going on and if you're not Inspecting what's going on in your house? You're gonna find out you're gonna be surprised.

Unpleasantly at some of the things that are going on behind your back and when it comes to teaching You have to know I mean, I mean it's really not that hard. I used to tell the guys in the early morning thing that I had several years ago.

That when I first got saved I was like and you know, it's no big secret. I went to Mike's Bible study and I used to meet with him. If you can imagine that we used to meet privately back in the day. And I'd say listen I have basically frittered away the first 35 years of my life.

My kids are this old and this old and this old and you know, my wife's a new believer and what do I do, right? Well, the answer is you read I Mean I would read Lorraine Bettner or whatever, you know bigger things, but like before I sat down for dinner I just take out concise theology by J. I pack or I or now that's a good question by RC Sproul and I just read it for like 10 minutes and then we go to the table and we talked about whatever wasn't whatever I just read and then I would try to explain it to each of them, you know at their own level and You know poor Megan would get the focus of my questions.

Why. Because if she understood what I was talking about then I can understand, you know. She was the youngest then I presume that the rest of them knew as well. Teaching takes place and like pastor Bob was saying if we don't teach I mean This is an implication what he was saying if we don't teach then we are Teaching.

If I say the most important thing about my life is Jesus Christ and then from Sunday to Sunday the only time Jesus Christ is mentioned in my home is when when we pray before dinner. If we pray before dinner because hey, we can't even get everybody to the table at the same time.

Then what am I teaching my kids? That maybe Jesus Christ isn't the most important thing in my life. Now You know when I say leaders or readers does that mean that I have to have to read you know, John Calvin.

No. Does it mean that I have to read John MacArthur? No. But is there something wrong if all I'm ever reading is romance novels. Like Steve you read romance. No, I'm not saying I read romance. If all I read is the sports page if all I read is Biographies of my favorite sports stars or generals or whatever.

I need to be thinking and Learning because you know true or false a Disciple can or will exceed his teacher a pupil will be greater than his teacher. What's that? He's supposed to but how if I'm not learning anything that I can teach him, right.

I Have to be instructing so that one day he will exceed me. But I mean if we sit down. You know if I have an eight-year-old child and we sit down at the table and the eight-year-old knows more than I do.

What am I doing. I've either got a genius child or I'm really slacking. Let's look at some verses. Titus 1 9. And you say well this has to do with elders this isn't me I Think it is and I'll explain why I mean elders to a greater degree have to be able to do this but I think everybody I Would just say Christianity is a contact sport.

And what do I mean by that? I mean by that 2nd Corinthians chapter 10. I mean Satan and the demonic powers of this world are constantly bringing up new theories to explain away the Bible or New competing theories to take us away from the gospel if that's possible, right?

So Titus 1 9 He now this is talking about an elder, but just think about this whether it's true or not I think it is true for all of us. He must hold firm to the trustworthy word is taught. Do you not want to hold fast to the Bible?

The answer is of course you do. So that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it now. You may not feel the weight of that if you're not an elder.

Nevertheless, you know you just you have to be the gatekeeper of your home. Especially as a father. But if you're a single mom to or a mom who's just like concerned about her kids. You have to know what they're.

Maybe you go to your husband and say do you know what the kids are saying? Have you heard what they're learning at school all these kind of things you have to be able to Set things, right? It is amazing.

There's a political candidate who wants to basically have dawn to dusk school. Right so that your kids are at school. Because that way you don't have to pay for child care, which I think is very very Kind of the government to offer that and what are they gonna be doing all day long?

Teaching your kids how not to love the Lord Jesus Christ. I mean, yeah, they're gonna learn math and all that eventually. But they're also gonna be learning all manner of depravity and how not to love God with all their heart soul mind and strength.

That would be the purpose of all day school. Ultimately they want the kids to rely on the state and not on you. But I think it's important that we just think how do I learn? What is sound doctrine? How do I learn how to kind of shield my kids my family the people under my Supervision as it were how do I do that?

It starts by learning. You can't teach what you don't know. I'd also suggest turning over to 1st Timothy chapter 1 verses 9 to 11. That today's evangelical world demands discernment and to be discerning in other words to Sort out what is true and what is false.

Again, you have to read you have to study. You have to listen to sound teaching 1st Timothy chapter 1 verses 9 to 11. Understanding this that the law is not laid down for the just but for the lawless and disobedient.

For the ungodly and sinners. For the unholy and profane for those who strike their fathers and mothers for murderers the sexually immoral men who practice homosexuality. Enslavers liars perjurers and whatever else is contrary to sound doctrine in Accordance with the gospel the glory of the Blessed God with which I have been entrusted.

And you say well, what does that do with? My home. I Think it's pretty simple. We see people today who are absolutely disqualified in every sense from teaching and yet. What are they doing? Teaching. They're writing books.

We see people you know we see whole denominations now ordaining homosexuals. Coming up with this idea that you can be Attracted to somebody of the same sex and that's not a sin as long as you don't act on it.

What do you think of that? It's not what Jesus says. How can you say that Johnny? Okay, because he says if you sin in your mind, then you've sinned and I'm like, you know, it's like they want a little asterisk.

Well, yeah, Jesus said it's wrong if a man looks at a woman With less than his heart, but if he looks on another man with less than his heart asterisk. What. Like somehow having this idea of Homosexual activity in your mind would be okay.

As long as you don't act on it. It's wrong. Homosexual orientation in and of itself is sin. This whole idea that somehow we can You know divide the activities of the mind from the activities of the body is wrong because what happens how does sin come about?

James one tells us right. How does sin come about? Okay, it starts in our minds. We think about it. We let it germinate we put fertilizer and water on it fertilizer being an apt illustration and. Then guess what?

We act it out. We in effect harvest What we have planted and today we see over and over again, you know. So called even I put evangelicals in quotes because evangelical that very word. What does it mean?

What's that? Not much. I mean, it's a moving target, right? It just kind of keeps shifting and shifting and shifting and shifting and shifting eventually it's gonna mean this Liberal, you know, we'll have to come up with a new word for people who actually hold the gospel.

It should be in those who hold the gospel, but it doesn't. I think we also need discernment today because false teachers abound. False teachers abound. Let's look at 1st Timothy chapter 6. And I would you know, I'm reading a lot from the pastoral epistles.

Paul writing Timothy and Titus and instructing them on how to run a church. But I think it's also there's a lot of wisdom here for us Today even in our own homes how to guard them how to teach our kids.

Paul writes in 1st Timothy chapter 1 Says understanding this that oh I had that already. 1st Timothy chapter 6. Sorry verses 3 to 5. If anyone teaches a different doctrine and does not agree with the sound words of our Lord Jesus Christ.

And the teaching that accords with godliness. He is puffed up with conceit and Understands nothing. He has an unhealthy craving for controversy and for quarrels about words which produce envy dissension slander evil suspicions and Constant friction among people who are depraved in mind and deprived of the truth.

Imagining that godliness is a means of gain we could call it the. What would you say that imagining that godliness is a means of gain? Sounds like the prosperity gospel, right. But backing up a little bit.

Does not agree with the sound words of our Lord Jesus Christ and the teaching that accords with godliness. There are people today who say Well, you know what this whole homosexuality thing is. It's kind of overblown.

People are making too much out of it and Part of their rationale is what? Jesus said what about homosexuality. Nothing explicit and it's Paul who makes such a big deal out of it. So we need to be red-letter Christians not black-letter Christians.

The red letters give life the black letters Condemn. Yes. It's a false dichotomy, right? This whole idea that Jesus somehow when he says something There's more import than when Paul says something but why is that false?

Man, we're inspired by the Spirit. Paul's inspired by the Holy Spirit. There's the Holy Spirit. I mean think about this ultimately we're gonna set up this battle between the Holy Spirit and who Jesus.

I mean when you put it that way, it sounds pretty insane. So what they'll say is what Paul said this. Paul said this On his own, right? No. Move by the Holy Spirit. There is no Diversion between the two.

The reason Jesus didn't address it. I mean, I I mean he did indirectly address it, right? He didn't say Homosexuality is an abomination and everything up, but he described what? Marriage is to be like he you know, and and I dare say and I've said this before I don't think Jerusalem had a burgeoning Homosexuality problem the Old Testament really didn't go for that.

Yes true or false. The Apostle Paul spent three years learning from the Lord Jesus. True so he says this isn't from the Lord. Right. This is from me. What is he saying? What's that? It is but it's not it's not he's just basically saying this and I mean, you know, I'll look it up I'll be corrected by Pastor Bob later.

He's saying I didn't hear this from Jesus out in the wilderness. He goes, but that doesn't mean it's not inspired right this is just me. But we have it in Scripture therefore it is what? Inspired by the Holy Spirit.

Jesus didn't tell me this. Holy Spirit told me this. I Think it's okay, you know, so that would be my answer. Once I I think we can go with that. Okay. Good Dodge that bullet. Again, just think about how important it is to learn be learning studying.

Longing for the pure milk of the word just growing in Christ being matured. Being sanctified in Titus 1 at the end of Titus chapter 1. Paul writes this in verse 15. Says to the pure all things are pure.

But to the defiled and unbelieving. Nothing is pure, but both their minds and their consciences are defiled. They profess to know God, but they deny him by their works. They are detestable disobedient unfit for any good work and Listen to verse 1 of chapter 2, but as for you.

Teach what accords with sound? Doctrine. Don't teach False doctrine. Don't teach the doctrines of the world. Don't teach your kids your wife whomever and Don't be passive about it. But instead teach what accords with sound doctrine.

And to you know kind of paraphrase pastor Mike and his Nebraska Upbringing nobody learns by osmosis, right? That's That they don't just learn by virtue. Well, they do learn something by being in that Atmosphere and I guess I you know when I first.

When I was first being discipled I can remember This friend of ours Edwin coming over and my son would be up in his his room and we'd be talking and every once in a while there be a you know a question from the choir loft.

So, I mean in that sense they can learn by osmosis, aren't you supposed to be doing homework and here comes the question. And that was okay. No. Let's talk about wisdom. You know wisdom comes in part from what?

Somebody's gonna give the right answer that I'm gonna give the wrong answer and explain wisdom comes by. What's that? Fear of the Lord is the beginning of the wisdom, right? That's the right answer. How do we get wisdom spiritual gift.

See these are the good answers. I'm about to give the bad one. Okay, there we go, that's the one I was looking for. It's a bad answer in this sense. It's true, right as we get older. Most of us get wiser.

Although I've known some 70 year old heroin addicts, and I can't really explain that one. But as we get older we should get More wisdom, but it also comes by knowledge by fear of the Lord all these kind of things.

But wisdom ultimately is this it's applying what we know to be true to given situations. Right, and how do we know them to be true? Well, or how do we know anything to be true? Well, first of all, we ought to go by scripture.

Somebody said which is absolutely right. You know, what would be pleasing the Lord? I guess we could call that the fear of the Lord. But also by experience there are things that you learn just by virtue of Getting older with time.

When do you suppose or what kind of drives your worst decisions? When do you find yourself, you know, like a cartoon character running out, you know over the edge of the cliff and then looking down and going.

Oh. When does that happen? What's that? Okay when you act in fear. That's more specific but that's kind of okay when you don't give it thought Charlie. Okay. All right, and that's that's ultimately what I was looking for when you don't give a thought, right?

But ultimately it's when you just respond to the moment when you respond emotionally when you don't take a minute. I mean, I've been Counseling somebody kind of long-distance here for a while and I get a little frustrated.

Because the consistent theme is You know get upset and respond and I'm like, you know, if you don't take a minute to just kind of think okay what's gonna happen when I Respond in this way, then things are gonna keep getting worse for you you have to Take that moment and just sort of filter it through what you know.

What you know would please the Lord and what does the Bible say? You have to think through all these things and then respond not just that's that's wisdom as opposed to just Responding your worst decisions are made based on emotion, which is why I Would I would suggest to you that the worst decisions probably most people make our win.

I Mean in their lives during their course of their lives. Okay, when they're young. Right and and you know, I think probably the worst when are you the most emotional? I mean you could say two years old three years old or whatever, but I think you know.

The worst of it is probably in your teen years, you know. Those are the times when you know, and and here's my point I think a lot of parents have this idea that you parent you shepherd your child maybe through the age of 10 11 or 12 and then it's just kind of Jesus take the wheel, you know, because my hands are off.

I'm done with them. They're grown. Well, no, they're not. They're about to enter potentially the most dangerous years of their lives and you just said well, I'm done. My work is over. And I'm going to suggest to you that your work really is Probably needing to be raised up thoughts questions.

Okay. Yes, it's kind of like yeah I mean if you if you just let the child determine what is best for them. You know early on then when they get to be older. You know 14 15 16 17. It's going to be like they're literally gonna be bossing you around.

It kind of reminds me of. And I don't even know if I've ever actually seen this movie, but you know the old 50s movie the blob. Because you've got this. You got this little blob in your house and you start feeding it and it keeps growing and growing and growing.

Pretty soon. You've got this monster. You can't control anymore. You don't want to do that. I think no you don't. I Mean, you know, is it possible that some Young people will turn out. Okay, even though you haven't disciplined that even though you haven't done the right things.

Yes, it is. I Mean, you know, we're Janet and I perfect parents. She was I wasn't right and somehow the kids turned out basically okay in the end. Right by the grace of God but you can't just. You know bank on that, you know, in other words, you can't just say well, I'm done now Lord you have to do it.

Because That's just not leadership. First of all, and secondly, you're gonna be accountable for that. And thirdly you ought to love your child more than that, okay. Now in terms of leadership, especially in the home.

True or false and I kind of talked about this a little bit before what we do. Says something about our priorities what we spend our time on says something about our priorities. Of course that's true and when you know if I see a father Husband and his priority when he gets home each and every day is to do what?

Turn on the TV and wait for dinner. What's wrong with that? I mean It is pretty selfish. I mean when you get home and I can remember these days way back when you know coming home and my wife would be home with.

You know the little ones who didn't even you know speak English and it Wasn't really clear to me what they were speaking. Palm dailies, I think. And you know, so I'd come home and you know, I I mean I was really bad.

But I'd spent you know an hour plus driving each direction. I Don't know probably nine hours, you know working and then you know, I'd get home and She'd want to talk. What? You know, I I just want a little peace and quiet right which was ultimately selfish.

This is before I was saved by the way, I Became less selfish after I but if there's there's that vacuum of leadership. Things are happening. The world doesn't stop just because you want it to and what you do how you spend your time.

Makes a difference. Makes a lot of difference. Even unbelievers recognize this. Also, what makes the difference is how you spend your money how you spend your money. Matthew chapter 6. These are red letters so you can take them to the bank here.

Matthew chapter 6 verses 19 and 21. Jesus says do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth. Now just think about that for a moment treasures on earth and I'm you know, I'm guilty we buy things because we like them.

We buy things because they bring us joy, but a lot of times that joy is ephemeral is temperate temporary and He notes that says do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal.

But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is there your heart will be also. How we spend our money reflects something about.

What our value system is what we really put our our delight in. I'm not going to give a sermon about giving but I think you know when. When we talk about giving at this church, we say two things about it.

You should give sacrificially, which means that it should it should reflect the fact that There there is some Sense in which you know a worldly person will look at it and go. Do you know what you could do with that money?

And the answer is yes, I know what I could do with that money. But that's not why I do it. Right. I'm making a sacrifice to the Lord. But the second thing is, you know, I can't be grudging. I need to be joyful about it, right?