The Denominations Visit Ken Ham's Ark

I want to welcome you all to our first ever interdenominational field trip. We are at the Ark Encounter here in Kentucky. I want to hear what each of you have to say about this life-size replica of the Ark.

The Ark Encounter and the Meaning of Noah’s Ark

I tell you what, I've studied the Ark, and I think Ken Ham got some things wrong. There is no way the Israelites carried something that big through the desert for 40 years. It doesn't even have rings on the side, and you know what?

I'm looking at the top, and there ain't no cherubim at the top of that Ark, neither. Okay, no, no, no. Not that Ark. This is Noah's Ark. You remember Animals 2x2? The Lord told Noah he's going to send a flutty flutty.

Remember that one? This is that one. Oh, okay. I was confused. This doesn't look anything like the painting on the nursery at our church. I don't even see giraffe heads sticking out of the top. I didn't connect it to Noah's Ark at all.

I just love all the rainbows. I can't tell you. It just makes me feel right at home. Trust me. It's not what you think. Bro, check it out. This is the exact kind of thing that we want to build at the Big Eva Multiplex Mega Church and many more.

But instead of a life-size version of Noah's Ark, we're going to have a scaled-down replica that we can fit into our giant baptistries at each of our 27 locations. And you notice the zip line? We're going to have a zip line that takes our baptismal candidates from the top down into the water so that we can ensure that they're fully immersed.

Are you really going to build baptistries big enough to put Noah's Ark inside of? Hey man, if you love Jesus, you're going to build your baptistries big enough to hold Noah's Ark. Well, I just want everyone to know that I think this entire park is absolutely ridiculous.

The Ark as Myth, Ridicule, and the Punchline at the End

Everyone with half a brain knows that the story of Noah and the Ark is just a myth. I agree. You agree with me? Yeah, I actually think you only have half a brain. Man, I love this place. Look at the size of this chart.

I hate this place. Wait a minute. They got the ending wrong. Where's Ken?