God's House Rules #9 - Gospel Order in God's House #4 (1 Tim 3:3b-7)

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Alright, well, 1 Timothy chapter 3, 1 Timothy chapter 3, and verses 1 -7, 1

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Timothy chapter 3. Continuing on in the series of messages that we've been in in 1

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Timothy, 1 Timothy chapter 3. And once again, we'll be reading verses 1 -7, 1

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Timothy chapter 3, verses 1 -7. 1

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Timothy chapter 3, and verses 1 -7. If you're able to do so, can I invite you to stand at this moment as we read the word of God.

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1 Timothy chapter 3, and verses 1 -7.

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This is God's word to us this morning. This saying is trustworthy.

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If anyone aspires to be an overseer, he desires a noble work. An overseer therefore must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, self -controlled, sensible, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not an excessive drinker, not a bully, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not greedy.

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He must manage his own household competently and have his children under control with all dignity.

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If anyone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of God's church? He must not be a new convert, or he might become conceited and incur the same condemnation as the devil.

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Furthermore, he must have a good reputation among outsiders so that he does not fall into disgrace and the devil's trap.

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May God bless that reading of his word and give us understanding of it. Let's pray, ask for God's help, and then we will launch into this passage this morning.

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Heavenly Father, we ask that as we open up the Bible and we hear you speak to us from it, pray that your spirit would do a work of opening eyes and transforming hearts through the preaching of your word.

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Even as we come to this section that deals specifically with Christian leadership, there is still much for us to learn as your people.

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So I ask that as we open up the scriptures, again, you would speak to us. Give us willing hearts and opening to hear all that you have for us.

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I ask this in Jesus' name and for his sake. Amen. So this is our third look at the qualifications of a faithful overseer as we've been diving into 1

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Timothy 3, 1 through 7. Just by way of reminder, our goal with this sort of slower pace is really to consider what the

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Bible says makes a man a faithful servant leader. And again, we want to consider what the

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Bible says, and not necessarily what we may have experienced or what the culture tells us.

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We want to bring whatever opinions or experiences we've had into line with what the scriptures say.

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And so to that goal, we've kind of gone to something of a crawl in this study of 1

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Timothy. We're taking our time. We're going to be here for four weeks. This is week three or four. And we've been looking at each of these qualifications, each of these identifying markers that Paul lays out for faithful ministry.

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And so far, we've seen that in the background, there is this desire for the work that a man should have.

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That he's not compelled by something from the outside, or there isn't even this, as I argued in our first week, this sort of semi -mystical experience that happens called the call to ministry.

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The Bible lays out that there is a desire, and then that desire ought to be tested by these qualifications.

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So assuming a man has the desire for the work, which is what Paul does here. Paul assumes a man desires this work.

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Well, what qualifies a man? And so we saw that, first of all, he must be above reproach, that there's nothing you can say about him that sticks in terms of accusation.

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That he's the husband of one wife, which doesn't just mean he's married, but that he's a man of singular commitment to the one he's married.

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We then saw last week that the next three qualifications form something of a group, being self -controlled, sensible, and respectable.

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That in terms of his thinking, and as a result, his conduct, he is characterized by a level -headedness in the face of his work.

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Not that leaders will not get frazzled or frustrated or annoyed by things, but that the general tone and tenor of his work is done with a level head and done with excellence.

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We also saw that he's to be hospitable, which is not just that he opens up his home and has people for meals, but that he has a genuine love for strangers, that he has an openness to people who are not immediately connected to him.

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We've skipped able to teach, that'll be next week's message, Lord willing. So the last thing we looked at was that he was not to be an excessive drinker, which again, we made the point that it's not that he cannot drink alcohol, but that he is not drinking it to excess, that he's not characterized by drunkenness.

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And I did make the point, if you listen to that sermon, that while it's not a sin for a leader to drink, there may be some wisdom in choosing to abstain.

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But again, that is a choice, that is not a command. So that's what we've considered so far in 1 Timothy 3, 1 through 7.

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This morning, we're just going to pick up right where we left off. We're going to hopefully finish the rest of these, and Lord willing, next

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Sunday, we will consider the qualification of being able to teach. So this morning, we're going to pick up right where we left off.

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And like last week, I'm going to ask three questions of each of the qualifications we're going to look at.

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And these three questions are going to give us something of a roadmap for where we go in the text. So we're going to ask, first of all, what does

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Paul mean by this? Because the temptation can be for us to import our own meaning, so we want to avoid that.

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Well, the best way to do that is, well, when Paul uses these words, these words have definitions. So what does Paul mean?

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So what does Paul mean? Secondly, should this be true of all Christians? So whether you're talking to Christians in Southern Oregon, or you're talking to Christians in the

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UK, or you're talking to Christians in Africa, does the things that Paul lays out here, are these things true of believers in all places and in all ages?

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And then we're going to kind of refocus on that third question and think about why does it matter for Christian leaders? So yes, these things may be true of all

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Christians, but why, especially since Paul's writing to perspective leaders, why does it matter for leaders?

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So simple enough, what does Paul mean? Should this be true of all Christians? And why does it matter for leaders?

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Simple enough. Like I said, for these sermons, they're going to feel more like Bible studies than typical sermons. So let's just jump straight in.

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Verse three. The first qualification that Paul gives, actually the first two, and they fall against something of a unit.

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You notice there in verse three, he says, not a bully, but gentle. And then he says, not quarrelsome, not a bully, but gentle and not quarrelsome.

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Now, both of these, like I said, they form something of a natural pairing. And the thing that I would argue connects the two is that there is a focus on anger and its effects when it deals with leadership.

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I would say that again, that the natural pairing that these two form is due to anger and the effects of anger on leadership.

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So let's ask the question that we said we'll start with. Question number one, what does Paul mean here?

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Now, the Christian standard Bible, which is the Bible I preach from, it translates this word usually as being a bully.

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And that's not wrong as it goes. That's the sense that's being carried here. But I think there's something to be said at times at looking at the literal meaning of words.

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And the literal meaning of the word here carries the idea of being a brawler or a striker, one who strikes out physically.

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So yes, it can carry the sense of resorting to physical violence, but it also has a broader meaning of resorting to any kind of intimidation that one would use to get their own way.

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Paul's point is that instead of using force to achieve what they want, a faithful overseer doesn't use force, whether it's people close or people he's in opposition to.

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In fact, notice what Paul says that he's not to be a bully, but gentle. Now, gentle in English has a very specific meaning that I don't think is necessarily

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Paul's meaning here. As one resource puts it, this idea of being gentle is that you are merciful and tolerant when faced with slight deviations, that you are merciful or tolerant when faced with slight deviations.

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When Paul talks about being quarrelsome, that's the other part of this pairing here. I think quarrelsome is a lot more simple to define.

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It's the idea that you're not somebody who goes looking for fights, that you're not somebody who goes starting fights, that yes,

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Christian leaders, think back to chapter one in our study, Paul talks about fighting the good fight. Christian leaders will be on the front lines of the good fight, but when the good fight comes, that's one thing.

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It's very different if you go hunting for fights or worse, creating them. Paul's overall picture is of a leader who doesn't use force to lead or to deal with his opponents, but rather he's characterized by gentleness or kindness and peace.

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Now, should this be true of all believers? Should all believers be known for not being bullies, but gentle and not being quarrelsome?

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Absolutely. So when you read Galatians chapter five, the fruit of the spirit passage, part of the fruits of the spirit's presence in the life of a believer is that they are characterized,

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Galatians 5 .23 by gentleness. In fact, all believers are called to interact with each other in the spirit of gentleness.

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So Galatians 6 .1, brothers and sisters, if someone is overtaken in any wrongdoing, you who are spiritual, restore such a person with a gentle spirit, watching out for yourselves so that you also won't be tempted.

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We are to conduct ourselves when we are ministering to others with gentleness.

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In fact, all believers also are called to be peacemakers, not quarrelsome. So when you read the book of Proverbs, Proverbs says,

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Proverbs 26 .21, as charcoal for embers and wood for fire, so is a quarrelsome person for kindling strife.

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In other words, we have this idea sometimes that conflict is inevitable, everybody fights. I'm gonna say, biblically, no, that's not true.

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Actually, what you need in a conflict is one person who's actually willing to fight, at a minimum, at least.

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And if you've got both, then you've really got a problem. And Proverbs' point is very simple, that it's a quarrelsome person who kindles strife.

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And the implication of Proverbs is you're not to be that person who's always kindling strife.

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But more than the words of Proverbs are the words of our Lord Jesus. Matthew 5 .9,

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if you have to choose, read them. Matthew 5 .9, Jesus says, blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the sons of God.

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Peacemakers, not the quarrelsome, not those who are always looking for a fight. No, those who are diligent in making peace when they have the option.

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Why does this matter for Christian leaders? Well, think about this for a moment.

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This might be a helpful illustration. Leaders might be men of vision.

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Leaders might be men of vision. They should be anyway. They should be men who have a particular goal, a particular direction that they want to pursue.

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That's the point of leadership. Aside, I don't think you're a leader. If you don't know where you're going, you probably shouldn't be leading people.

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Nobody wants to be led to the middle of nowhere. So yes, leaders should be men of vision.

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But here's the reality of Christian leadership. At times, Christian leaders will have to recognize the painful reality that at times, you want to go somewhere and people don't agree.

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That whatever vision you have may not come to fruition for one reason or another. And in those moments, in those moments where you don't get what you want, what is a

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Christian leader to do? What does a Christian leader do, catch this, when they are disagreed with?

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Actually, I might need to rephrase that question because the question might not be, what is a Christian leader tempted? Or what would a

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Christian leader do in those moments? I think a better question might be, what could they be tempted to do?

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What could they be tempted to do? Do they manipulate?

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You know, if I say the right things and kind of put the right moves in place, will that make them, will that make them do what

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I want? Well, some people may choose the less subtle option. They say, no, I'm just going to threaten them. Either you do this or else, is that what we do?

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Do we intimidate? Do we sit there and say, listen, you better do what

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I'm telling you. Do we strong arm them? Yeah, you don't want to do this, but guess what?

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I'm just going to force your hand. I'm going to make you do this. Is that what we do?

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No, that's absolutely not what a Christian leader ought to do. All words here are taken seriously.

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A Godly leader recognizes that while he can command and advise and seek to influence his, if you want to use this phrase, his power pretty much ends there.

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That unless the person is sitting in which, there is church discipline or the final steps of church discipline.

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The reality is a leader cannot use any kind of force to bring about his will, his influence, if you will, his power to advise, his power to speak into a situation ends there.

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Well, if that's true, that means that in those common occasions and in life, those occasions are common. When you don't get what you want, when they don't get their way,

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Christian leaders ought to be men of peace. They are not to be those who insist on their own way.

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Catch this even if they're right. Again, that doesn't mean that he may not be annoyed by the fact that he's not listening to you.

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That doesn't mean that he may not take it somewhat personally if he doesn't. But what it does mean is that when the opportunity presents itself, he does not take force into his own hands to achieve his will.

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The Christian leader, in a sense, is to be the perfect model of God's love.

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And when we read 1 Corinthians 13, which, by the way, was not a section about weddings, although we read at weddings so much, it's actually talking about service and how we properly serve one another.

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Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13 that one of the marks of Christian love is that Christian love is not self -seeking, literally that it doesn't seek its own way.

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And so the Christian leader is to be one who is characterized by, who is defined by, not being a bully, not being quarrelsome, but by being gentle, that he exercises his authority in a loving and a caring way.

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So the Christian leader is to be the husband of one wife. He's to be self -controlled. He's to be sensible, respectable, hospitable, not an excessive drinker.

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He is to be not a bully, but gentle, not quarrelsome. Look at verse three. What's the next qualification that Paul lays out for us?

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Paul says that he is not greedy. He's not to be greedy.

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Well, again, let's ask the question, what does Paul mean when he says this? Well, when

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Paul uses the word greedy here, again, the Christian standard Bible is going for the sense of the word. And again, it's 100 % right.

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They're not to be characterized by greed. But the word that Paul uses is a bit more focused than that even.

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The word carries this sense. It's made up of three words. It's a compound word. Compound word, remember your

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English class? Compound word made up of multiple words. It's made up of three words, love, money, or literally silver, love, money.

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And then what Paul does is he adds the negative prefix to the word.

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So in other words, someone who does not love money, someone who as one commentator put it is freed from the attachment to money.

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He's freed from the attachment to money. Now, Paul is not saying that a pastor could not have money or he can't have a lot of it for that matter.

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What he is saying is that he cannot be known for chasing after money.

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He cannot be known to have a love for money. He cannot be known as somebody who prioritizes wealth and money.

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Now, should this be true of all believers? Should all believers be known as those who are not greedy, who are not lovers of money?

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Should all believers be known as those who are free from an attachment to money?

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Yes. Now I won't labor this point because not too long ago, I preached a sermon on this very subject on the stewardship of money.

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For those of you watching online, a link to that will be in the description down below. We have talked about this subject of money.

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So I'm not going to labor this point too long. But allow me just to remind you of some basic biblical verses that talk about our approach to money.

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So Jesus in the middle of the Sermon on the Mount, Matthew chapter 6 verses 19 to 21, Jesus says, don't store up, literally, don't pile up for yourselves treasures on earth.

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Summarize, he says, because these things are temporary. They can get stolen, they can get corrupted. But remember what

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Jesus says in Matthew 6, 21? Jesus says, for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

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We are to be those who are not keeping up treasures for ourselves.

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Why? Because we have an eternal treasure. Later on in First Timothy, we'll get there in a couple of months,

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Lord willing. First Timothy chapter 6, Paul has a word to say to those who are wealthy in this life.

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First Timothy 6, 6, he says, for godliness with contentment is great gain. Verse 7, for we brought nothing into the world and we can take nothing out.

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But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with these. Verse 9, for those who want to be rich, fall into temptation, a trap, and many foolish and harmful desires, which plunge people into ruin and destruction.

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And then Paul says, verse 10, for the love of money, and again,

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Paul does not say money is the root of all evil. He says the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil.

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And by craving it, by craving money, some have wandered away from the faith and have pierced themselves with many dreams.

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The reality is we are not to be like those in this world who heat up wealth and then that wealth becomes their security.

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And when that wealth is lost, then they feel everything is lost. I'm old enough to remember the financial crisis in 2008.

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And I remember living in London, which was a major financial city. The stories that you would hear of these executives who would kill themselves because they lost everything.

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As they saw it, I have nothing left. Well, the Christian is not to be that kind of person who views their life primarily in terms of what they have.

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But not only should we not be lovers of money, the Bible says that we should also be known for generosity with our money.

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So yes, we don't go chasing money, but what money we have, we are willing to give to others. So Matthew chapter five, verse 42,

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Jesus, give to the one who asks you and don't turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you. Ephesians 4 .28,

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Paul is talking about the work of the spirit in transforming us. And he says, Ephesians 4 .28, that lets the thief no longer steal.

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Instead, he's to do honest work with his own hands. So that why is he to work with his own hands for this purpose?

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So that he has something to share with anyone in need.

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According to first Timothy six, just a few moments ago, verse 18 of that same section. Paul says, instruct them, those who are rich.

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He says, instruct them to do what is good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and willing to share.

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Again, this is not a full message on money. You can listen to that teaching that will be in the description down below. Or if you go to our church website or you have our church app, it's all available there.

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But the mindset that says, I don't have a love of money. Instead, I have a love for God and I have a love for others.

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That should be the mindset that is characteristic of a Christian. But that raises the question because it's one thing to be able to say, okay, you shouldn't have a love for money.

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It's one thing to say, oh, I should not have an attachment to money.

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Okay, but the Bible is never content to just tell us to do things. The Bible also gets to the heart of why we do things.

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So let's ask the question, why should a Christian not have a love of money?

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Thankfully, the Bible answers that question. This one I want you to see for yourself. Turn with me to Hebrews 13. Hebrews chapter 13.

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Hebrews 13. In Hebrews chapter 13, the author to the

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Hebrews is closing out his, I believe it's a sermon. He's closing out his sermon with some final exhortations.

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As you come to Hebrews chapter 13, pay attention to verse five with me for a moment. Hebrews chapter 13, verse five.

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The author to the Hebrews says, Hebrews 13, five, keep your life. And initially the word for life there, initially means your way.

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Like keep your way, keep your manner, if you will. Free from the love of money.

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What's interesting is the word that's used here is the same word that Paul uses in first Timothy three. Exactly the same word.

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Keep your life free from the love of money. Be satisfied with what you have.

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Okay, we've seen that in multiple places. But what I want to pay attention to is what? The author to the

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Hebrews, what the preacher says next. So he says, be satisfied with what you have.

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Why? For he himself has said, who's the he in this context?

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God has said, for God himself has said, I will never leave you or abandon you.

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Oh, that's why the Christian can have a freedom from attachments to money.

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The Christian can have that freedom precisely because the Christian has in his or her possession, something that is far more valuable than dollars and cents.

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The author goes on verse six. Therefore, in light of the fact that God has said, he will never leave us or abandon us.

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Therefore, we may boldly say, the Lord is my helper. I will not be afraid.

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What can man do to me? See, we can live lives that are free from the love of money, because we have recognized that we have been given something that you can't really put a dollar and cents value to.

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That we have something that yes, you can't measure it in a bank account or 401k. That's true, but it is an immense value.

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We have the presence of God never to be taken away, never to be lost.

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And if this is so powerful, if we have this, it's weird.

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It's kind of a paradox. The tighter we hold on to that reality, the looser our grip is on every other reality.

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If we truly understand that we have been given the presence of God that is never to be taken away and never to be lost, that doesn't make us hold tightly to what we have.

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It loosens our hands because we want to hold on to that, which is truly life. Rather than setting our hearts on wealth, we should set our hearts on the

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God who has shown he will always be there for us. And he has shown us that, I would argue in the greatest sense, when we look to the cross itself.

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So should this be true of all Christians? Absolutely. But why does this matter for Christian leaders? Why does it matter that a

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Christian leader is not greedy, that he is free from the love of money?

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Well, for one thing, a leader cannot be motivated by their own personal gain.

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They can't be motivated by their own personal gain. You can't say, I'm coming into this work because there's something for me to get from this.

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Unfortunately, in lots of Christian history, there has been that motivation for some people to become a minister, for some people to become a preacher, for some to become a religious leader.

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That if I do this, oh, this is easy money. But that can't be the motivation for the

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Christian leader. In fact, 1 Peter 5, Peter explicitly says that as elders, overseers, pastors execute their work, that they are to do so, not being greedy for dishonest gain.

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That can't be the motivation. But there's another reason why he can't have an attachment to money.

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They also can't allow money matters to have a say in how ministry is done.

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Let me be clear what I mean by that. That you can't make, my pastor in London used to say this, and it's one of those phrases that stuck with me.

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He said that you can't make ministry decisions based on money. You have to make money decisions based on ministry.

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Identify where the ministry needs are and then trust the Lord to provide and use the resource you have to do ministry.

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Not, we need money. So what should we do to make money? That can't be a temptation for a faithful leader.

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There's another aspect to this, that if a Christian leader is freed from the love of money, that means they cannot be manipulated by other people who have money.

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In the churches that I grew up in, this wasn't the problem in the particular church I grew up in, thankfully, but in the sort of culture of churches

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I came up in, there was always this, I wouldn't say it was a fear because it actually happened.

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You'd have these people who, they had money and oh, they made it very clear. They would show you that they had money.

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You had these people, they had money from whatever businesses they were doing. Some of them not legal, but that's a conversation for another time.

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They had money. And so when they got to the church, they were willing to throw money at things.

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They were the money bags of the operation. But what that came with, there's no such thing as a free lunch.

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That's a generally true principle. That money came with an expectation that we will determine what is done in the church and what is not.

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We'll be the ones to say, we should do this or we should do that. And at times you'd hear these stories of pastors who

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I know better than what this person wants to do. But if I don't do what they want, they're gonna withdraw their money from the church and we need that money.

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A Christian leader has to be able to look at that kind of a situation and say, I don't care how much money you bring.

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God's word is what determines what we do, not the bank balance. A faithful overseer,

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I think ultimately, why does it matter for Christian leaders? I think a faithful overseer ought to have his hope in God, not in money.

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And that's gonna be reflected in the fact that he is not greedy, that he is freed from an attachment to money.

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The Paul says, not characterized by bullying or quarreling, but gentle, not characterized by a love of money.

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This next qualification is gonna require us to do some heavy lifting. So we might be here for a while. The next thing that Paul says, look at verse three, come back to first Timothy verse, actually verse four, verse four of chapter three.

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He says that he, an overseer, must manage his own household competently and have his children under control with all dignity.

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If anyone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of God's church?

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I've summarized the next qualification here just by those four words that Paul uses. Managing his household well.

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Managing his household well. Paul brings up the family life of a leader and says he used to be a competent manager of his household.

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Well, let's again, ask those three questions. What does Paul mean by this? Now the word for manage is an interesting one.

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There is a word in New Testament that's often used for a manager. That's not the word that's used here though.

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Paul uses the word for rule. In the original language, it's again a compound word.

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It's in front of and to stand. That the leader is one who stands in front of God's people.

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If you think back to week one of this teaching, where I did the big picture of Christian leadership and we looked at those various New Testament words, one of them was rule.

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That's the word he uses here. In fact, some translations translate it that way, that he is to rule his own household well.

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I won't re -preach what I did in week one with all the use of those words, but just know that the word here carries this idea of he's exercising his authority.

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He's to exercise authority in his home. You put all that together, I think Paul's point is very simple. That Paul's point is that the overseer is to be a man whose rule, whose charge over his home ought to lead to the fruit of children who respect his authority.

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And we see that in their obedience and their submission. Again, an overseer is to be a man whose rule over his home ought to lead, excuse me, whose rule over his home ought to lead to the fruit of his children respecting his authority.

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And you see that by their obedience and their submission. Now I'm going to reiterate this a few times under this point.

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This does not mean that he is a dictator ruling his house with an iron fist, causing his children essentially to cower in fear of him.

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That's not what Paul is getting at here. No, Paul's point is, again, I think there's a clue in the word he uses here.

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Competently. Well, this is about excellent, faithful leadership that leads to genuine respect and submission.

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Well, is this true of all believers? Well, it should be. So Ephesians chapter six, verse four,

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Paul says, fathers, I've always thought it interesting that Paul addresses this directly to fathers. Paul says, fathers, don't stir up anger in your children.

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Don't provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the

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Lord. Colossians 3, 21, parallel passage to Ephesians six,

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Paul says, fathers, do not exasperate your children so that they won't become discouraged.

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And I would argue that those two passages are giving you two sides of the same coin. That bad leadership either stirs up anger in children or it creates discouragement in children.

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Contrary to that, Paul says that all believers should be committed to raising their children in the fear of the

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Lord. And that looks like not provoking them to anger or exasperating.

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Now, it's easy to read those words and kind of say, I know what those mean. But no, for a moment, let's get very specific here. Let's get real practical.

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What does it look like to provoke or exasperate children? A lot could be said here. Let me just give you a few thoughts.

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I think the most obvious answer, I think all of us would hopefully agree. That means they are not to be abusive of any kind.

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Physically abusive. Emotionally abusive. Manipulative.

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Playing children against one another. Any sort of abusive behavior. Absolutely not tolerated.

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But I think we can all agree to that. But I think there are more subtle forms that we might not think are that big a deal.

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How do you provoke a child to anger or exasperate them? Well, have you ever thought about unrealistic expectations?

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You expect the world from them. I mean, I'm not talking just the average obedience that they have, but the obedience that children should render to their parents.

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So you have unrealistic expectations. I think under this, we can put the category of comparing your children to other children.

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I come from a culture where unfortunately this was rife. You'd hear of this exceptional kid who's doing these exceptional things.

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Well, this kid is doing that. Why can't you do that? Well, God didn't make your kid like that.

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He made your kid like this kid. So how about you be happy with the one you have and not go looking over the fence at somebody else's kid?

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How about unjust treatment? Wait, I've used this illustration before.

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Two kids are doing something they shouldn't. They shouldn't be doing it. But when you punish them, you punish one differently than the other for doing exactly the same thing.

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All of us as human beings can look at that and say, that's unjust. Hold on. If we both did the same thing and so we can play the game of, well, he's older.

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He should know better. But you told both of them not to do it. If they willingly both did it, then they should both be punished for their willing disobedience.

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But that's different from, I'm going to treat one differently or treat another. A few months ago, we were in the story of Joseph.

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Remember that story, how that whole story pans out? Genesis chapter 37. Jacob treats

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Joseph differently and I took the view, I know not everyone agreed with me, but I took the view that Joseph knew he was treated better and played that.

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How about harsh words? Ah, Proverbs has so much to say about gentility in our speech.

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Remember what the Proverbs says? A harsh, what's it? A soft word turns away wrath.

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I think the inverse is also true. You want to turn up the wrath in a relationship, turn up the wrath in a family, be cautious.

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How about hypocrisy? As you could put that on the unjust treatment, I suppose, but hypocrisy.

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You demand one thing while you do another. Here's one that often the thing we don't think about.

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What about having no standards for your children? We think, how's that? Is that's raising for children?

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Simple. You basically, if they have, if you have no standards for your children, if you have no rules for your children, guess what?

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Those children are going to grow up expecting the entire world to be that way. And then they'll discover that actually the world doesn't work that way.

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There's lots of ways in which you could provoke children to anger or exasperate. But here's the thing.

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The Christian parent is to be a model of God's fathering, God's parenting, if you will, of us.

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So let's for a moment, ask the question, how does God deal with us? Well, the

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Bible presents God as being kind. He's gentle with us. My favorite psalm,

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Psalm 95, says that he knows our frame. I think it's 103. Yeah, it's 103.

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He says that he knows our frame. He knows that we are dust. God knows his children and he knows how they are.

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So he is kind. He's gentle. 2 Peter 3, 9, God is patient towards all of us.

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But the same God who is kind, gentle and patient is also firm. He's also principled.

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He is, here's a good word, he's objective. And so the

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Christian parent is to be a model of that kind of fathering, imperfectly to be sure. None of us are going to be as great a parent as God is.

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God is the ultimate father. That's why he reveals himself to us as a father. None of us are ever going to be him.

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But we should seek to walk in his ways in that sense. I'm a

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PK. If you've been around church, you know that abbreviation, preacher skid or pastor skid. If you've been around church, you know the stereotype about preacher skids.

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It tends to be just two. Either they're really compliant and really nice.

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I'll be honest, that was me growing up. I just found life was easier if you were just compliant and you were generally polite.

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You are either very compliant or very nice or they're an absolute terror.

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I've often wondered why that is. I don't have any answers at 34 and now a pastor myself,

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I'd like to tell you that I have some answers. I don't. It's not a new reality. So in 1st

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Samuel, you read two stories back to back basically. 1st Samuel chapter 2, you have Eli who's the high priest.

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Eli has two sons, Hophni and Phileas. They were horrible men to put it mildly. Because of time,

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I won't go through their whole story. But they were basically horrible men. And Eli kind of does a milk toast job of trying to address them.

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And eventually, God kills both of them. Well, he kills Eli too. He eventually kills them.

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In 1st Samuel 8, Eli's successor Samuel, who by the way, was the instrument of telling

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Eli God was going to judge him. Samuel has two sons, Joel and Abijah, and they do the same thing.

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His sons, in fact the text says, they don't, in fact people tell him the same thing they told Eli. Your sons don't follow in your ways.

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And he does the same thing that Eli did. He talks to them, a little more firmly maybe. He says, if a man sins against man, he can be forgiven.

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But if he sins against God, who's going to forgive him? It's like guys, you're sinning against God. This is not going to end well.

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But it's interesting that the text never tells us that God judged Samuel. He did judge Eli, which is kind of interesting.

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But this reality of, you know, those in leadership, having children who kind of go off the rails, it's nothing new.

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But it's interesting that Paul doesn't really concern himself with that reality. He doesn't really deal with the why's and the how's of how this happens.

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We might be tempted to ask those questions. Paul's focus is not on the how and the why, it's on the what.

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Paul's emphasis is that a faithful overseer will exercise the kind of leadership, the kind of rule in his home that leads to actual heart level obedience.

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Now at this point, some of you who are good Bible students are going to say, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Doesn't Paul somewhere say that the children of elders need to be believers?

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Kind of. Let me explain. So we're in First Timothy. This is one passage. I would argue there are two in the

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New Testament. I think first Peter five is an exhortation, not a qualification.

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But there are two passages in the New Testament that talk about elders. There's this one, and then there's the passage in Titus.

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So turn there with me. Titus chapter one. So we're in First Timothy. So you hit First Timothy, Second Timothy, and then you'll hear the letter of Titus.

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Titus in chapter one. Titus is interesting because it's kind of a similar situation to Timothy.

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Titus has been left on the island of Crete to put some things right that needed to be put right and to establish elders.

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It's a very similar situation to Timothy in Ephesus. And so in Titus chapter one,

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Paul lays out the qualifications for an elder. Titus chapter one.

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Turn down to verse six with me. So verse six says, an elder must be blameless, the husband of one wife, with faithful children who are not accused of wildness or rebellion.

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Now, my translation, the Christian standard Bible, translates the word, the children of an elder as faithful children.

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It does have as a footnote, or believing in that really tiny print that you need glasses to read, here's the thing.

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There are a number of translations that actually go with the footnote, if you will, and translate this as believing.

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So the English standard version says, if anyone is above or before the husband of one wife and his children are believers, the

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NASB 95 says, having children who believe. The New Living translation, his children must be believers.

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The NIV translations radiates my own heart. The NIV says, an elder must be blameless, faithful to his wife, a man whose children believe.

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Well, what are we to do with this? Is it faithful? Or is it believing?

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When I was putting this message together, I initially planned on doing something of a deep dive. I wanted to pull up quotes and do some, you know, interesting language stuff.

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And I realized, probably not the best way to approach this. There are other forms where I can do that.

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Instead, what I'm going to do is I'm going to present the argument of at least one proponent of this view.

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Arguably, at least in American evangelical circles, one of the most popular proponents of this view. We're going to look at one of the proponents of this view.

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I'm going to let him, in his own words, tell you what his view is. Well, a summary of his words. But I trust a faithful summary of his views.

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And then I'm going to explain why I think that doesn't work. So, one

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Bible teacher who holds his views, one of my preaching heroes, actually, Dr. John McArthur. In his commentary on Titus, he has about a page and a half where he lays out his argument for why this passage should be translated as having children who believe and not children who are faithful.

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Let me summarize his argument in five bullet points. So you can say bullet point number one, he goes to the usage of the word that's translated here.

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The word that's translated here, literally, if you just pull it from straight from English, from Greek, excuse me, into English.

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It literally means of faith or having faith. And it can be translated faithful and it can be translated believing.

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He acknowledges this on this point of word usage that the way that this is primarily used in the

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Bible is for God's faithfulness. And when it's applied to people, he says there is never a use where this word is used for a non -Christian.

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It's always believers who are this word. And so he says that suggests that Titus 1, 6 reference to faithful children means children who are faithful believers.

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So that's his first point. That's the usage of the word. His second point is to say that there are two different standards in place.

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So he says in first Timothy, the standard is that they are young children.

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So young children, they just need to be obedient. Once the children are old enough to know what this actually is point number three,

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I guess. Point number two is first Timothy is talking to young children, which is where we're at here in Titus.

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However, as they get older, this is to quote him now. He says, as children go older and are capable of understanding salvation, the stricter requirements in Titus 1 becomes applicable.

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Their children must be believers who are not accused of wild living or rebellion. Again, I'm just going to give you his case.

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I'm going to come back with my arguments in just a moment. So number one, the usage of the word number two, first Timothy is speaking to young children.

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Number three, Titus 1 is speaking to adult children or grown enough children. Number four,

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MacArthur does note that while a father is not personally responsible if his children respect

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Christianity, despite his best efforts to teach a model of faith, having unbelieving adult children still disqualifies a man from serving as an elder.

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So he says, yes, it's not necessarily his fault, but it means he's not qualified.

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Point number five, he says that you can really just summarize this as why this is important. He says the ability to successfully lead one's own family to faith and godly living serves as a proving ground for Christian leadership, as elders must be exemplary models of Christian living for the congregation.

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Again, that's his commentary on Titus. You can get access to, you can read his argument in full. Now, I love the ministry of John MacArthur.

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I really do. He's been a profound impact on me in lots of ways. But this time.

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I have to disagree for quite a few. And I'm going to do my best not to labor this point longer than I need to.

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But allow me to give you a few reasons why I think with all due respect to Dr. MacArthur and his long ministry of faithful Bible exposition,

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I think he's missed the mark on this one. Let me explain. First of all, while it's true, the

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Bible never uses this word of unbelievers. The language of the New Testament was not a language specifically written for the

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Bible. It has a wider usage. And when you look at the wider usage of this word, it is used for people just being faithful.

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The people who are trustworthy. In fact, we've seen this word using Timothy that way. First Timothy 1 .15.

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The saying is trustworthy. Same word. In fact, the word that's used in First Timothy 3 .1,

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the saying is trustworthy. Same word. So that'd be my first point.

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I say, secondly, it's interesting when you read both First Timothy 3 and Titus 1, the context is not faith.

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Paul doesn't mention faith in Timothy. He doesn't really mention it here in Titus either. Again, look at Titus 1 .6

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again. He says, an elder must be blamed as husband of one wife with faithful children who are not accused of wildness or rebellion.

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First Timothy 3. He's supposed to have his children under control.

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The emphasis here is on behavior, not their faith. And given just how close

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First Timothy 3 and Titus 1 are, they can't be discussing, in my opinion, two different standards.

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That's again, I love Dr. MacArthur, but on this one, it's an assertion he makes. He doesn't actually give you any evidence for that assertion.

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It's an inference. Now, inferences are not bad, but we have to be honest and say if something's an inference, that doesn't automatically make it true.

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You have to prove your inference and he doesn't actually do that. Thirdly, if Dr.

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MacArthur is right, and he's not the only one who holds this view, but I'm using him as kind of a test case for this. If Dr.

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MacArthur is right, then you have realistically one standard for non -elder Christians and one for another. Because you have to say that, he has to have this almost supernatural ability whereby all of his children are walking with Jesus, but the

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Christian parent who's raising their children in the fear of the Lord, they're trying their best, they're doing their good job, they're doing a good job, and they still don't have all their children walking with Jesus, no big deal there.

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Again, the onus is on him to demonstrate why that is a consistent standard, which me and other proponents

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I read this week of this view, they never do that. More troubling for me than all of that, for me personally, is in my opinion, again, this is just my opinion, but in my opinion, this seems to be a complete ignoring of the

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Bible's teaching about salvation, specifically the fact that salvation is not tied to one's physical family line.

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So John chapter one, the prologue to John's gospel, remember John 1 11, he came to his own, his own did not receive him, but John 1 12, to all who did receive him, he gave them the right to be children of God, to those who believe in his name, who were born not of natural descent, literally not of blood.

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The Bible nowhere ties salvation to the fact that you come from a particular bloodline, even if that bloodline is the bloodline of a

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Christian leader. I'm sorry, if you take MacArthur's view to his logical conclusion, there's an exception to the whole natural descent thing that John talks about here.

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Well, if you're in an elder family, oh, that's a guarantee then. He's not the only, but like I said, he's not the only person to say this, and I'm not trying to pick on him, but he is the most popular person who does.

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There are 2 million MacArthur study Bibles in circulation out there. And in MacArthur study

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Bible, which again, is not his commentary on Titus, he has a slim version of the same argument.

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I'm sorry, it just doesn't make sense. I think Paul is saying the same thing in First Timothy.

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He's saying in Titus that the faithful leadership of a Christian leader will be seen first and foremost in his home.

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So here's how one of the best commentaries on First Timothy, Second Timothy in Titus, George Knight's commentary.

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Here's how he summarizes it. He says, quote, What was not characterized the children of an elder is immorality and undisciplined rebelliousness.

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If the children are still at home and under his authority, Paul is not asking any more of an elder and his children than is expected of every

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Christian father and his children. However, only if a man exercises such proper control over his children, may he be an elder.

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Now, it's still a very high standard and we'll get to why in just a moment, but it is not such an unreasonably high standard, in my opinion.

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I think personally, Paul's words couldn't be clearer. Why is this important for Christian leaders?

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Well, again, look at verse five. Paul gives you an answer. Verse five. He says,

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If anyone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of God's church?

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One's leadership of their household is directly linked in Paul's mind. And I would argue the mind of the New Testament is directly linked to their leadership in God's house.

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Catch this. If those closest to him won't follow his leadership, how will people in the church follow his leadership?

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If he is domineering and controlling and provocative in his home, guess what?

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He'll be domineering, controlling and provocative in the church. And the opposite is equally true. If he is permissive and has no standards in his home, he's going to be permissive and have no standards in the church, too.

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Why does this matter for Christian leaders? Because your home is the first place you exit. As men, the first place we exercise leadership is in our homes.

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And if you're not a leader in your home, guess what? You're not going to be a leader in the church.

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The church can't be the first place you learn leadership. But Paul says, an elder is to be not a bully, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not greedy.

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He must manage his own household competently. Fourthly, he says, you see it there in verse six, he must not be a new convert.

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He must not be a new convert. Again, at the risk of stating the obvious, what does

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Paul mean here? I think the word is pretty simple. He's not a new convert. The word for new convert is interesting.

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It's where we get our word neophyte. You are a vocabulary nerd like myself. A neophyte, somebody who is new to something.

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The word neophyte actually means a new tree that they newly planted. Paul says that a leader is not to be one who is newly planted.

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They are a new believer. That's just a leader is somebody who should be known for their maturity, their consistency, and their faithfulness.

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And that means they've been around long enough for people to see that. These should be men who have a visible walk of closeness to Christ.

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Imperfect to be sure, but a visible walk nonetheless. Well, should this be true of all

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Christians? Well, actually, yes, all Christians should pursue mature faith. Again, time is running out on me, but Ephesians chapter four,

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Colossians one, if I will read this one because it's one of my favorite verses, Colossians 128, we proclaim him warning and teaching everyone with all wisdom so that we may present everyone mature in Christ.

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All believers are supposed to be mature. James 1, 4, 1 Peter 2, 2, Hebrews 6, 1. There are lots of biblical passages.

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2 Peter 3, 18. We are all commanded to have growing, maturing faith.

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You at the risk of being controversial for a moment, but why bring the habit of a lifetime? If I'm sorry, you've been a

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Christian for 10, 20, 30 years. We should see some growth along that time. If you are where you were 10, 20, 30 years ago, something's not right there.

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Something's not right there. All believers should be characterized by a growing and mature faith.

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I shouldn't, sorry, be able to look at you 20, 30 years on your faith and you're acting like a new convert. Actually, let me tell you, there's only one way we should be acting like a new convert.

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You should have the zeal of a new convert, the passion of a new convert, everything else. I want to see some growth and maturity. All Christians are to pursue growth.

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I've said it before, and I'll say it again. It's a tragedy when you have believers who have been in church for years, decades even, and they're immature.

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Nothing beyond a basic knowledge of the truth. No depth of prayer life, no service to the

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Lord, no growth in hospitality, no zeal. You're just kind of there. Like a plastic plant.

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Like it looks fully grown, but it's not going to grow. It's just there. I can't remember who it was who said this years ago.

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But they said that the local church is like a greenhouse. Greenhouse, building you build to stimulate growth in plants.

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And he said, while the greenhouse is artificial, there's a truth to that statement. When it works, a healthy local church promotes growth when you're planted in it.

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All believers should seek to have a thriving, growing faith, and that takes time. Well, again, at the risk of stating the obvious, why is this important for Christian leaders?

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Well, think back to week one. What's one of the major works of a leader? One of the major works of a leader is that they are an example to the body.

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That means you need to be around long enough to see that you have to have been around long enough to have become that kind of an example.

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Add to that, we'll get to this next week when we think about being able to teach, a new convert doesn't know enough of the word to be able to minister the word, not in the way that feeds

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God's people. More than that, Paul gives us a reason. So you see it there in verse six.

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He says, he must not be a new convert or he might become conceited and incur the same condemnation as the devil.

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The word for conceited, literally puffed up, filled with hot air. New converts don't need a position.

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They need time to grow. They need time to be shaped and chiseled by the disciplining work of God.

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Time and experience are God's instruments for shaping humility in us.

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That can't happen. If you take somebody who's newly planted and try to give them a leadership position.

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That's a side note. It makes you wonder when you hear these stories, like this celebrity, this celebrity or that celebrity, supposedly become a

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Christian. And the Christian culture just loves to put them in the limelight. Remember during 2020,

01:00:54

Kanye West came out and said he was a Christian. People in my own theological camp were all excited by it. And a few of us were like, can we chill for a moment?

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Once upon a time in my life, I listened to a lot of secular rap. Kanye West is one of the greatest producers in secular rap.

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So very familiar with Kanye West. He has a known history of kind of being erratic about things.

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He gets excited about things and jumps in all like, and so I'm looking at that like, is this another Kanye moment?

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Can we all just wait for a bit? No, no, no, no, no. He's a Christian. Let's all jump in. Well, fast forward to 2024 and I'll let you

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Google that in your own time. The fruit has not been good. New converts need time to grow.

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They don't need a position. Of course, new converts can serve in the local church and there's lots of ways they can serve.

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But for their own good and for the church's good, they should not be leaders. One more, this won't take us too long.

01:01:49

Verse seven, Paul says, furthermore, he must have a good reputation among outsiders so that he does not fall into disgrace and the devil's trap.

01:01:59

Having a good reputation. Again, real quick, what does Paul mean? This means that obviously it should be known for faithful Christian living, even by those who reject the faith.

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Again, Paul is not saying, change who you are so unbelievers will like you. We tried that strategy in the history of the church.

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It hasn't really worked. Paul is saying, live in the kind of way that unbelievers can't help but say good things about you.

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Again, should this be true of all Christians? Absolutely. As of time, I'll just quote one passage to you. First Peter 2, 12, conduct yourselves honorably among the

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Gentiles so that when they slander you as evil doers, they will observe your good works and will glorify

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God on the day he visits. He says you have to conduct yourselves with honor among the

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Gentiles, those who don't know God. Christians should absolutely care what reputation they have.

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Yes, I know our culture tells us we shouldn't care what people think, but actually you should. Proverbs 22, 1, a good name is to be chosen over great wealth.

01:03:00

Favor is better than silver and gold. We can get apathetic about this and say, well, who cares what people think?

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Actually, when it affects our mission as God's people, we should absolutely care what people think. Yes, our culture is very individualistic, but you know what isn't?

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The Bible isn't. You know why the Bible isn't an individualistic book? Because God isn't. Our reputation should matter because catch this,

01:03:25

God's reputation is on stake. The world can't see God. He's invisible. But you know who is visible? You and I. So as we conclude, why is this important for Christian leaders?

01:03:36

Well, it goes without saying. Christian leaders should have a reputation that you can't say anything about. If they're going to be the people who stand in front, who are the visible folks in the life of a church, then that means they have to be ones who live in the kind of way unbelievers can't say anything about.

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Again, not a call to perfection, but leaders in a normal world will have to apologize sometimes for saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing.

01:04:00

Also, I would argue that means we should be slower to judge leaders when they do the wrong thing. But as the visible leadership in God's house, the lives of leaders and their public reputation, catch this, they have a real impact on the wills of Christ's church.

01:04:20

That's why it's tragic when pastors of any denomination fall. And yes, I know we can get kind of cute about it and say, well, that's that guy.

01:04:27

Not in our circle. We've had it happen even in our circle recently. But here's the thing about that.

01:04:34

You know who isn't splitting hairs and saying, well, their theology is not like mine. So that's not my problem. You know who doesn't really care about that?

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If we're just being honest, non -Christians. All they see is he's quoting Jesus and he's got a Bible just like you.

01:04:49

I don't have time, but Romans chapter two, if you're taking notes, Paul talks to his fellow Jews and says, you like to talk about the

01:04:56

Gentiles and how bad they are. How about we talk about how bad you are? And in that section, he quotes the

01:05:04

Old Testament and says, the name of God is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you. And the you there is not all

01:05:10

Jews. It's hypocritical Jews. The phrase can get overused and misused sometimes, but there is a truth to the saying that the world is watching.

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The world is watching. And those who catch this, the world is watching.

01:05:30

And as the world is watching, that shouldn't be a sober warning to us that our reputation matters as the world watches.

01:05:37

All right, I'm done. Let me land the plane this morning. I'm going to land it where I landed it last week.

01:05:44

This list is daunting. Absolutely, this sounds if it sounds like a lot like, wow, you can live up to this.

01:05:52

Yep, you're reading it right. And we shouldn't be surprised that it's daunting.

01:05:59

After all, if Jesus loves his church, you think Jesus is going to, Jesus is just going to put any old person in charge of his church.

01:06:06

One of the Puritans had an illustration. If Jesus is the bridegroom of the church, do you think he will appoint any man to be his best man?

01:06:15

This, these are daunting things. Absolutely. But can I leave you with some good news? I never want to leave on the bad news.

01:06:21

Here's some good news. The God who demands the standard, the

01:06:26

God who wrote these words, supplies by his spirit the very things that he demands.

01:06:34

So yes, this list is intimidating. I'll be honest, it's intimidating for me to read this list. But here's the good news.

01:06:43

Praise God for the gift of a real righteousness that empowers us and makes us able to live and to serve just like this.

01:06:53

So actually it's not left to me to figure this out. It's not left for me to try and conjure this up.

01:07:02

Nope, as I understand the gospel and understand the work that has been done for me and I understand the fact that God is the one who sanctifies and God is the one who makes me more like Jesus, which means he's making me more like this.

01:07:13

I'm able to pursue this precisely because I know the power is not left to me.

01:07:20

Let's close in prayer as we round out this morning. Let's pray. Our father, we thank you for this word.

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We thank you for the fact that it points us always and in every way back to you, back to your sufficiency, back to your strength, and more importantly, back to the savior that you have given.

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Father, as we have walked through this passage and we have been thinking about the nature of Christian leadership.

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Father, I pray that first of all, just as believers, regardless of whether we're leaders or not, we would seek to live in this kind of way.

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And that for those of us who maybe are thinking about Christian leadership or who are in Christian leadership, I pray that you would work in us a desire to continually be these things.

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Not to impress others, not merely to keep a job up because these things please you and they glorify you in this world that you live in.