Adult Sunday School - Predestination And Marriage

Dear Holy Father, thank you for this morning. I pray that you would bless our time. Considering your word and what it says about marriage. We pray that you would help us to understand your truth. Did you say?

All right.

Okay, so we've been going through Marriage the topic of marriage and Last time we were looking at Ephesians 5 and how it talks about marriage being Defined by the relationship between Christ and the church that not being merely an arbitrary analogy, but really Intentionally being created by God as a reflection of Christ in the church, and if that's the case and let me go ahead and read Ephesians 5 23 for the husband is the head of the life as Christ also is the head of the church being himself the Savior of the body.

And we saw how Paul is observing that not even just the things he knows About marriage are similar to the union between Christ and church. But even the things he doesn't know are similar, which means that there is an organic connection there that is not Is not just being imposed on this as as we might see with other analogies that are made in Scripture.

Now if that's the case, then what's the best way to to learn about marriage? Certainly, you can learn about marriage by Observing human marriage and the way God has made nature. He's baked in a lot of the realities that are supposed that we're supposed to understand.

Even pagans have marriage, right? Even outside of church. It's a creation ordinance. It's not a church ordinance. It's not a government ordinance.

And so.

If even Pagans have marriage they can understand marriage through nature, but we can understand marriage more fully if we are Looking at the union between Christ and the church and seeing how to apply that to marriage.

Now we went over some rules some hermeneutics. Hermeneutics mean Interpretation of how you would apply it for example When we look at the nature of Christ in the church and apply that to how we should understand marriage.

First of all clear passages of Scripture interpret less clear passages of Scripture. Yeah, just because we have certain analog ways that analogy is used does not mean that that is a Providing good ethics for us if we have other passages that clearly say the opposite.

Secondly the purpose the purposes of marriage as defined in Genesis 1 and 2 and Genesis 9 even Demonstrate. There's also put constraints on how we should read that analogy, right? If if some application, I think the example I gave last time was oh, well this betrothal Last 2 ,000 years.

Maybe we should have very long betrothals well that would not be a a good application because that goes against the purposes of marriage the purposes once again being With the increase of legitimate offspring the prevention of uncleanness and the mutual health of husband and wife.

It would it would work against all three of those if you were to have too long of a betrothal period or an engagement. Okay, so today I just want to look at the topic of Predestination Right. So predestination breaking that down to the notion that second Peter 110 speaks of election and calling election calling.

So if we were supposed to look at the union between Christ and church and then make applications to marriage It makes sense for us to just walk through How Christ has saved the church and say ask ourselves, you know, are there any applications for marriage?

And so I'd like to start that all the way at the beginning of salvation right with election and calling and.

A.

Couple of terms that might be helpful for you the Order of salvation and a person's personal life is usually known called the order of salutis right, so First you are, you know first you're regenerate then you're justified and you're sanctified then eventually you're glorified, you know.

That's just the order of salutis. There's also what's known as a historia salutis, which is the history of salvation. Which is the the story of how Christ saved the church. So, you know, yeah. He's elected us and he came in time and then he and then he left and he will return again.

You know, this is the historia salutis. So we're going to be walking primarily through the Historia salutis also taking into account some of that order of salutis and a person's individual life and ask ourselves what applications are there for the church and this is.

This is something where if you look at modern authors, they're a lot less willing to do this. I find that modern authors are very very hesitant to Try to Read too much into the text right like they're willing to do it when Paul says it directly.

But when he doesn't say it directly they don't want to do it. The thing is Paul is trying to give us like a whole framework to work with right instead of only take what he gives us Directly and then not use the rest of that framework Would be negligent even though it can be it can be difficult.

And so we want to do it soberly. But at the same time we want to take full advantage of what Paul is Offering us here and trying to point to this connection between Christ and the church. So let's let's talk about election.

Election and the Father's Choice of a Bride

Okay, so very beginning of the historia salutis Election this takes place outside of time, you know before time as it were as though you could have a time before time.

And.

Yeah, God Father Son and Spirit have covenanted together to save the people of their choice the church. This is known as election, of course, so Once again, you know if our understanding of marriage is supposed to be rooted in salvation.

You know that phrase that we read He himself is the Savior of the body if that notion of salvation is supposed to inform us about marriage. This is a key part of salvation. It's worth considering as Applying to marriage.

It's not an unrelated topic. All right. So let's let's talk about election first. Let's talk about the father. Electing so in our own culture. Typically parents often have very little Interaction with with the bride and groom or very little involvement With the process of choosing a spouse right in our culture.

It's you know off the college and hopefully you find somebody right? That's about or maybe a little bit of instruction beforehand. Maybe a lot of parents don't give any instruction, right? They leave that to the health class In your high school, but let's look at how the father is involved with this choosing of a bride for the son.

Well, actually, sorry, let's um. Let me let me go through some of the biblical examples where you have the father's involvement in in Human marriages, right? And this is this was the norm in biblical times as well as a lot of a Lot of times past a lot of cultures that aren't our own even in our current time.

Genesis 24 for but you shall go to my country to my relatives and take a wife for my son Isaac. This is Abraham speaking to a servant. Genesis 28 to says arise go to Padana Ram to the house of Bethul your mother's father and take a wife there from the daughters.

Of.

Laban your mother and that's.

Jacob.

There and then Genesis 38 6 and Judah took a wife er For sorry took a wife for her his firstborn and her name was Tamar. So it describes it describes the father as taking a life for the son. Okay, so you have you have a couple of examples on of this.

And even in the case where the man had chosen the bride for himself. He still asked for parents participation and judges 14 to this is Samson and he came up and told his father and his mother and said I have seen a woman in Timna of the daughters of the Philistine now therefore get her for me as a wife, right?

I've chosen someone now you chose her choose her for me. Right. It's interesting how that works and so Scripture speaks of God's election of the church. Of the father's election. Ephesians 1 4 says. Even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world that we should be holy and without blemish before him in love.

Having foreordained us to the adoption of sons through Jesus Christ to himself. According to the good pleasure of his will to the praise of his glory. Of the glory of his grace, which he freely bestowed upon us in the beloved.

And then second Thessalonians 2 13 says. But we are bound to give thanks to God always for you brothers beloved of the Lord. For God chose you from the beginning to salvation and sanctification of the Spirit and of belief in the truth.

Okay, so the Bible talks about God Electing the church right choosing the church of God the father specifically. John 6 39 and John 10 talk about him not just Electing the church but electing him electing her for his son.

John 6 39 says in this is the will of him that sent me. That of all that which he has given me. I should lose nothing. But should raise it up at the last day right? So the father is giving the bride to the son.

John 10 28 and I give to them eternal life and they will never perish and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My father who has given them to me is greater than all and no one is able to snatch them out of the father's hand.

Okay, so the father's father is giving the bride to the son. Okay, so I Understand that a lot of this feels like it's just totally cultural but it's it's really worth considering, you know. If you have not only biblical pattern people were doing at the time.

But even even the marriage of between Christ and church union between Christ and church incorporates. The father's involvement. Does that have the implication? I believe it does. Proverbs 22 6 talks about us raising our children in the way that they should go and they won't depart from it.

Does it's not marriage, you know a significant part of of them making that transition to adult life. I know that once again in our culture a lot of times marriage is delayed so far. They've been adult for a long time before they get married and actually I'm gonna mention this a few times but I think that's that's really important thing to consider as you're reading all this because a lot of this is happening while the children are still.

Technically minors I guess and would need parental approval for things. Right, and so that's going to. Once again, that's going to guard the way that we interpret this right do we interpret this as saying?

Oh a father must give his approval. Well, if the children are minors, yeah, you know if the children are not are not. You know if they're being betrothed at a stage that is before there. Before they're even ready for marriage, right?

And then on top of that the marriage itself is happening at a fairly early age where where they're both part of their parents household still. Yeah, it would require. Absolute it absolutely require permission, right?

We'll talk about this some of this later. How the how we should consider the importance of the father's blessing. Okay. So anyway, it is important for parents to lead them the way they should go. If you look all the way back even at the even at the first marriage, you might say well Adam didn't have a father you know.

But but Luke 338 says his father was God and God did indeed choose his wife for for Adam.

All right.

Yeah, so this is more than just offering advice right which is typically, you know Fathers there when the son when the son asked for advice and the father will give advice. This is more. This is more involvement.

I think it would be good for parents to be involved in helping their children choose by more than just offering advice, but even even being involved in their church in such a way that they're aware of Young women you're young or if you're a parent of a woman young Young woman that you would be aware of people in your church network.

You know as a church. It's good to be a part of association so that we're you know. Connected with other churches and part of the larger body and it's not just you know The world of of marriage isn't just something that's like out there in in college or in the secular world, right?

But something that's able to flourish in the church with the guidance of of Older people in the churches and especially especially parents. And this would also include prayer, of course. Parents should be praying for their children to in the choice of their spouse.

Genesis 24 7. Abraham says Jehovah the God of heaven who took me from my father's house and from the land of my nativity. Who's and who spoke to me? So he's communicating with God and who swore to me saying to your seed.

I will give this land. He will send his angels before you and you shall take a wife for my son from there. He likewise required his servant to do the same by requiring an oath of him. Sorry. That was reading my own handwriting there and Genesis 24 to says and Abraham said to his servant the elder of his house that ruled over all that he had.

Please put your hand under my thigh and I will make you swear by Jehovah. Swearing being you know a form of you know, soliciting God. So another kind of prayer in a sense the God the God of heaven and the God of earth that you will not take away from my son of the daughter of the Canaanites among whom I dwell and More prayer you see the servant praying later.

Oh Jehovah the God of my master Abraham. Please send me a good speed this day and show kindness to my master Abraham behold I'm standing by the fountain of water. And the daughters of the men of the city are coming out to draw water and let it come to pass that the damsel to whom I will say please let down your pitcher that I may drink and she will say drink and I will water your camels.

Also, let the same be she whom you have appointed for your servant Isaac and by this I will know that you have shown Kindness to my master once again, you know, there need to be guards here. I'm not saying that we should be asking for miraculous signs to determine up whose spouses are things like that.

But Yeah, it should be if you're a parent or if one day you are a parent. You should be praying for your for your children to find an excellent life or an excellent husband. I was I was personally blessed.

I knew my parents were. I mean, I heard them frequently. You know when I was a small child praying for for me to find a good wife. Eventually and I did, you know, I do believe God answered the prayer.

So any any questions on that? I know the way we're going about this might feel really different than how you've heard marriage taught on before. So and we're and a lot of this feels pretty countercultural to say, you know.

The father should be fairly involved in this and this is. I don't see this as like a controlling thing. I see this as you know. Positively offering real help that I would have found really valuable, you know if I were.

Like I said, my parents prayed for me. But once you know once I was out I was kind of on my own. Figuring things out on my own meeting whoever I happen to meet any any questions about this before we move on.

Yeah, right so he so. In this when I say predestination, I'm I'm putting together election and calling so right now we're talking about election. Which is the choosing now for knowing? That's an interesting word because sometimes the Bible talks about I'd have to go look at the examples.

But whenever it uses for know as a verb the object is a person right who is foreknown and so it suggests a. It's not, you know, just his knowledge of the future, but it is his. Like Celtic knowledge of someone like an act of saving knowledge now.

Maybe I.

Know I'm not answering your question if you want to try asking again. Maybe I could uh.

Oh.

Yeah, well, obviously, yeah, obviously we can't you know, we can't For know anything in that way. But if election refers to choosing right it's God choosing his people before time. He has chosen a people that has implications for us choosing and so that's that's the way I'm flattening this out to make it Make sense and so for knowing would also just involve that choosing.

Okay.

Oh.

Yes.

Great yeah, yeah, that's totally reasonable. I mean your mother is a believer, right? And yeah, you could ask her to Pray for you. You could even say, you know, I'm interested in marriage. Do you know any you know?

Yeah, and godly women who you would recommend to me, you know I I think I think parents would typically be honored by you know that request a lot of people feel a Lot of a lot of parents have this thing where because their parents were too controlling.

They don't want to be too controlling and they will like just avoid this at all costs, right? I noticed some of that with my own parents right that I have to I Have to give them permission for involvement in my life that I don't feel like I should necessarily have to give.

But you know some some my grandparents were a bit too controlling and so they're trying to be extra careful. Right, so I think a parent a lot of parents typically. Some of them are not involved because of apathy.

Some of them are not involved because they're afraid of crossing boundaries, right? And so Yeah, I think a parent would appreciate Request for help. All right next son's election. So this is Yeah election is not just the father father son and spirit.

And yeah, because of the inseparable operations, it's known as the inseparable operations of the Trinity God is one being then none of the persons of the Trinity can act In a way that's you know, entirely independent of the others.

Yeah, there's no. While there's certain activities you might attribute particularly to one like typically we attribute election particularly to the father. Or there are some actions that are particularly to the son because of his humanity, you know as far as God acting His operations are inseparable so all of them are are electing even though that's particularly attributed to the father.

And so we see this, of course yeah, and In for example Jacob, right he was supposed to he was supposed to go select from the daughters to lay them. So you have parents involvement, you know. Parent is this is not an arranged marriage where the parent is, you know choosing without any input, you know absolute authority, right?

The parent is the parent is Helping the son choose in those in those biblical examples and to be clear. Hopefully hopefully this is already clear. I'm not saying that like whatever existed whatever culture existed in biblical time we need to like resurrect that from the dead and operate it with it exactly but In as much as it is a reflection of of the picture of the union between Christ and church We should really so really consider whether or not that that was there for a good reason.

Okay.

Yes, so the the husband's choice of his wife demonstrate the special love for her. Obviously, you know, why do you why does a man choose a particular bride. Because he has a special love for her. All right, John 15 16 Jesus says you did not choose me.

But I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide. That whatever you will ask of the father in my name he may give it to you. All right, so while That choosing of a spouse is mutual, you know.

It's not like the man gets to choose him the wife isn't also choosing the husband. There is a there is an initiative that we see with the man here and you know exists in our own culture, too. It's the man who you know proposes and and gives the ring etc.

Right. This is not just some arbitrary culture and it would be just as good if it were the other way around. It really is reflective of something true in the way that God has designed humanity. That the man be the one to to initiate that proposal in that way.

Yeah, and that it should have some. That should have some presence in the pre engagement stage of the relationship as well and that's not to say that a woman can't Express some interest before the man does you see with Ruth?

You know, there's a like I'm available kind of thing and then you know. After she does that then the man takes the lead and so I'm not saying that that I've heard I've heard some people suggest that you know.

Like like women should show no interest in minutes until until the man shows interest in her first, right? And it's like just over reading all of this. And you've you've got plenty of examples in the Bible where you know that good examples where that's not the way things are happening.

But yeah, it's good for the man to show initiative. Yeah, and notice that Proverbs 18 22. What does it talk about doesn't talk about a wife finding a good husband talks about a husband finding a good wife.

Whoever finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from Jehovah. All right. Yeah, and also it's more common to speak of a man marrying a woman. Like it's another cultural aspect more common to speak of a man marrying a woman than it is to speak of a woman marrying a Man, I don't know if you've ever noticed that before but it's something this something feminists really hate because they when they.

If you've ever heard the phrase and I know you have Don't objectify women that originally was not referring to treating women as inanimate objects. It refers to treating women as the objects of sentences where men are the subject, right?

And so the husband marrying a woman. Is that's that's objectifying women and you know older feminist literature but that's what they're what they're balking at there is the is the Biblical picture you see between Christ and the church where he is the primary one doing choosing even though there's mutual consent.

He is he's the one initiating.

Okay.

Yeah, and so that's this gives a special weight to the to the husband's role, you know. He should be especially a man searching for life should be especially, you know, praying seeking wisdom exercising wisdom in that selection.

You know if he. Not that not that a couple should ever look at themselves as a bad pairing and then decide that it can't work out. But you know if a couple finds themselves in a in a marriage relationship where they realize they hadn't thought it through as well as They ought to have.

Yeah, the burden for that falls particularly on the man.

All right.

Any questions about that any questions about the son's election? Yeah, we'll be talking about and of course that will be more apparent and. Yeah subsequent sections when we talk about about how the passage talks about women, but just.

But yeah, we're gonna we're gonna talk about consent essentially in this session. Yeah, we'll get to that some today. All right, the Spirit's election. All right. What about the Spirit. Doesn't the Spirit also elect?

Yes, the Spirit does also elect. Does that invalidate this analogy because who would the Spirit be if you got father? You know father son who is the Spirit in this whole analogy? All right. Well, first of all, yes, but yes the Spirit elects first Peter 1 1 Peter an apostle of Jesus Christ to the elect who are sojourners of the dispersion and Pontus Galatia Cappadocia Asia and Bithynia first Peter 1 2 according to the foreknowledge of God the Father and sanctification of the Spirit to Obedience and sprinkling of the blood of Jesus Christ grace to you and peace be multiplied.

So he talks about he says according to the foreknowledge of God the Father in sanctification of the Spirit. So God's foreknowing right God's election is in the sanctification of the Spirit. The Spirit is also participating in election.

And.

How do we yeah, how do we think about? What what how do we apply that to marriage? First Corinthians 2 11 Speaks of the Spirit as the mind of Christ. For who among men knows the things of a man except the spirit of a man which is in him.

Even so the things of God none knows except the Spirit of God. For who has known the mind of the Lord that he should instruct him. Well, we have the mind of Christ. All right, so so there in verse 11 you have the saying that No one knows the things of a man except for a spirit and it talks about the Spirit of God Knowing the things of God so the Spirit is the mind of God and then later on in verse 16 It says that we have the mind of Christ Meaning we have the Spirit.

Right.

This is me. Okay, and so the so what does that mean that there should be. In that choice, there should be a real volition a real, you know willingness and desire. Not just a not just a mechanical Selection, you know off an assembly line.

Implies, yeah, it implies more of a heartfelt.

Choice.

All right now let's talk about the basis of divine election. God frequently Mentioned that he has chosen us not on anything in us. Ephesians 1 11 Says in whom we were also In whom also we were made an inheritance having been foreordained according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will.

All right, and so according to the counsel of his will gives us this idea that You know, if we were to think of God anthropomorphically as though he were a man. His considerations and deliberations are not are not looking outside himself, but rather within himself.

You know, he how does he determine what he does based on the counsel of his own will? Right and scripture repeats us many times that this is it's based on the counsel of his own will rather than any inherent goodness in us.

Romans 9 16 says so then it is not of them him that wills or of him that runs but of God who has mercy. Second. Timothy 1 9 says he who saved us and called us with the holy calling not according to our works.

But according to his own purpose in grace, which was given to us in Christ Jesus before times eternal. Ephesians 2 8 says or by grace you have been saved through faith and that not of yourselves. It is the gift of God one more.

John 3 8 the wind blows where it wills and you hear it. But do not know from where it comes and where it goes. So is everyone who is born of the Spirit. Meaning that you know, it's not it's not the rich that God chooses.

It's not those who seem the most humble. Yeah, it's by the will of the Spirit.

So.

Consider What our confession says our church's confession? Those of mankind that are predestined to life God before the foundation of the world was laid according to his eternal and immutable purpose and the secret counsel and good pleasure of his will has Chosen in Christ unto everlasting glory out of his near free grace and love without any other thing in the creature as a condition or cause moving him there unto.

Yeah, so this in this This design of God's to choose without any basis in us Continues through the order salutes to write the order of salvation and we see that repeatedly in the confession to let me Let me read several things.

So eight point eight in our confession says Christ unites himself to his people without any condition foreseen in them to procure it. Ten point two says this effectual call is of God's free and special grace alone.

Not from anything at all foreseen in man nor from any power or agency in the creature. Eleven point one says those whom God effectually calls he also freely justifies not for anything wrought in them or done by them, but for Christ's sake alone and Eleven point three says Christ was given by the Father for them freely not for anything in them All right, and someone might object and say well now at this point I mean we're talking about election of individuals and when we talk about the church being the bride we're talking about corporate election.

You can't really have individual election without corporate election. He's choosing the whole people for himself. Deuteronomy 7 7 speaking of corporate election says Jehovah did not set his love on you nor choose you.

Because you were more in number than any other people for you were the fewest of all people. So even in the corporate election of Israel, it's not because of the goodness in them All right. So let me ask you a hard question now and I want I'm hoping for good answers.

How could this apply to a husband choosing a wife? Does this mean does this mean that the husband should have no consideration just whatever?

What.

Yeah.

Try to. I would. I would like you all to try to make some application before I do. On what this would mean for for us been choosing a spouse. All right, so he chooses. Yeah, but but the basis of election.

Okay, we're talking about that right now. We're talking about the basis of election not being anything found in us. What would that what would that entail for husbands and wives? I? Mean it seems it seems obvious enough that we shouldn't be Choosing without any basis, right?

But how do you you got a thought? Okay. Yeah less external things maybe okay. All right. Let me let me throw this out here. First of all God is not choosing on no basis at all. All right, no basis in us, but he's choosing according to counsel of his will.

He does have some reason right and we don't. He hasn't fully disclosed to us what that is. But he has disclosed the main purpose, right? The main purpose is for his own glory.

I.

Say a 43 6 says I will say to the north give up and to the south do not keep them back. Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the end of the earth. Everyone who is called by my name and whom I have created for my glory whom I have formed.

Yes whom I have made. All right. So he is choosing on Some basis, you know his counsel of his own will something we don't fully understand but for the sake of his own glory. And so what I think the I think the application here if you really meditate on what's going on is.

He is not choosing the bride based on her present status. But on the potential status on what could be through that union. He intends to make her beautiful. He intends to make her excellent. And so he chooses her not on the basis of what she is but on the basis of what what she can be through that.

Union.

Ephesians 525 says husbands love your wives even as Christ has also loved the church and gave himself up for it. Ephesians 526 says that he might sanctify it having cleansed it by the washing of the water with the word.

All right, so and we see this throughout scripture right like the weakness of God's church the weakness of his individual people. It's not necessarily a bad thing. It is the platform on which he displays his strength.

Right, and this is and this is just how the Bible speaks of. Women too is being the weaker sex, right? This isn't just oh. They are lacking, you know scriptures not just saying that women are inferior in this way.

It this is a this is I didn't dynamic that is supposed to exist in order for there to be a more glorious union. Where there is a giving and receiving etc. All right. Some other things about God. 2nd Corinthians 12 9 and he said to me my grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness.

Most gladly therefore I will rather boast in my weakness that the power of Christ may rest on me, you know, Paul Satisfied with his weakness because he knows that is good for the glory of Christ. 1st Corinthians 130.

But of him you are in Christ Jesus Who is made to us wisdom from God and righteousness and sanctification and redemption. That according as it is written he who boasts let him boast in the Lord. Okay, so a.

Yeah, so what you see with God choosing this bride is not based on what she is. But based on how he can demonstrate his goodness with her. Right, and so. Yeah, as we consider what this implies, you know, think about how how foolish it would be it with a man who?

Is and I get that in our culture. It's a little it's a little harder to imagine this because we have so many careers that are available. To those without like a lot of physical strength, right? But. But if you have the capacity to work hard and provide why would you look at a woman in a low? Socio-economic condition as a man and say oh, I'm I'm not interested in her because she's in a low Socio-economic condition is not that an opportunity to be the provider as as the Bible describes.