Gender Distinctions

Sovereign Grace Family Church

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October 14, 2018

00:00: Amen.
00:01: I want to invite you to remain standing and open up your Bibles to 1 Corinthians 11, and we're going to be looking at verses 2-16.
00:15: 1 Corinthians 11, verses 2-16.
00:22: I think you'll be able to hear me better now.
00:25: Sorry, I forgot to turn on my microphone.
00:26: We are in 1 Corinthians chapter 11, verse 2.
00:32: The Apostle Paul writes, Now I commend you, because you remember me in everything, and maintain the traditions even as I delivered them to you.
00:44: But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ.
00:48: The head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.
00:54: Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head, but every wife who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head, since it is the same as if her head were shaven.
01:08: For if a wife will not cover her head, then she should cut her hair short.
01:11: But since it is disgraceful for a wife to cut her hair or shave her head, let her cover her head.
01:19: For if a man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God, but the woman is the glory of man.
01:25: For man was not made from woman, but woman from man.
01:28: Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.
01:31: That is why a wife ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels.
01:36: Nevertheless, in the Lord, woman is not independent of man, nor man of woman.
01:43: For as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman, and all things are from God.
01:49: Judge for yourselves, is it proper for a wife to pray to God with her head uncovered? Does not nature itself teach you that if a man wears long hair, it is a disgrace for him? But if a woman has long hair, it is her glory.
02:03: For her hair is given to her as a covering.
02:07: If anyone is inclined to be contentious, we have no such practice, nor do the churches of God.
02:15: Father in heaven, I thank you for your word.
02:17: And now, as we seek to study it together, I want to again appeal to your mercy as I will be giving an exposition of a text that has long been controversial in the church, and I believe massively misunderstood.
02:33: Father, I pray for your grace.
02:36: I pray that your Holy Spirit would fill me.
02:39: Lord, you know that in my study this week and in my time, I have been wrestling not only with the meaning of this text, Lord, but also with how I'm going to exegete it in the time given.
02:50: So I pray, Lord, that you would, by your mercy, grant me grace.
02:55: Grant me wisdom, keep me from error.
02:59: And open the hearts of your people to the truth.
03:02: Lord, may we see this as what it is, a gospel message.
03:08: And I pray it in Jesus name, Amen.
03:30: This past week as I was preparing this message, and I want you to know this is this is a message that has not taken me a week to prepare.
03:37: This is a message that I began preparing months ago.
03:41: I even had a meeting with our elders about it because I wanted to make sure that what I said was in accord with what we all agree is the meaning of this text.
03:52: And I am going to last night as I sat with my wife going over this text, because I often do with her studying, I study and then I'll read something to her and make sure that it's understandable and that I haven't chased too many rabbits or gone down too many too many wild side roads.
04:13: We were talking and she said, you know, you're not going to finish this tomorrow.
04:17: I said, no way.
04:19: And I said, well, then I'm going to divide it.
04:23: And so this morning, even though we have read verses 2 to 16, it would not be fair for me to run through it just as fast as I can, just so that you get it through.
04:32: As one of my professors used to say, he said, it's more important that the message gets through than you get through with the lesson.
04:37: So we're going to we're going to go as far as we can today.
04:40: But I do not expect in any way, shape or form to finish what I'm going to say.
04:44: In fact, I have I have a place that I've sort of given myself a division so that I can do that, which means this.
04:52: If you came here today knowing we're going to talk about head coverings and you want to know the answer, we're going to get to that next week.
05:00: Today is the prelude to the answer.
05:03: I am going to address the issue, but I'm going to be giving a more full understanding of head coverings, what that means, how it's been understood today and how it's be applied today more next week.
05:13: But but but there's a there's a principle that precedes that whole conversation that we need to understand.
05:19: And it's really in verses two and three.
05:22: So that's what we're going to be dealing with more today.
05:24: Two, three, maybe into four.
05:26: But then after that, we'll deal with the rest of it next week.
05:30: In the past several years, the subject of gender has become a hot button topic.
05:35: Amen.
05:37: I usually don't ask for an amen, but on that one, I think it certainly warranted.
05:41: It is it is really a huge deal.
05:44: Issues such as the the transgenderism, the gender dysphoria, gender inequality, the so called gender wage gap, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, have consumed popular media.
06:01: And within these conversations, there is an awful lot of nonsense.
06:07: Men who are wanting to be women, women who are wanting to be men, those who celebrate everything feminine and condemn everything masculine.
06:19: You have those who demand universal gender equality while at the same time saying that we should eliminate all gender, gender distinctions.
06:30: And you even have to identify now what gender you are, no matter what sex you are.
06:35: And that's actually a distinction.
06:37: That is made.
06:37: My son and I went this week.
06:39: I'm very thankful that God is leading him in a direction in his life.
06:43: And we went and talked to an Air Force recruiter.
06:46: And this week he's going to be taking his ASVAB, which is his entrance exams.
06:49: I asked for your prayers for him for that.
06:52: And when we were there, he was going through all of the paperwork just to get him signed in to do the ASVAB.
06:57: And we had to bring all of his paperwork.
06:58: And one of the things it asks is, what is your sex, male or female? What is your preferred gender? It was a different category.
07:04: It was a different note.
07:07: And the guy looked at me, the guy behind the desk.
07:10: He looked at me, goes, I have to ask.
07:15: I have to ask.
07:16: He knew.
07:17: I was like, he's a boy and he's a boy.
07:22: A man.
07:25: He's male and he's male.
07:28: All right.
07:29: A few months ago, I took a test online and I had to put my gender in and it said gender.
07:34: And it literally had 12 different responses.
07:39: Whether it was male, female, cis, bi, all these different options for what your gender is.
07:49: And so I know that right now the subject I'm talking about, some of you are already upset because I'm brought up.
07:55: Some of you are giving me the eyes and I see them.
07:59: I know who you are.
08:00: It's fine.
08:02: Because this subject is so unpopular.
08:05: This subject is so difficult to discuss.
08:11: People don't even want to address it, especially in church.
08:15: We want to come in and hear positive, uplifting messages.
08:20: We don't want to get hit with the hard stuff.
08:21: And honestly, I'm going to tell you, 1 Corinthians chapter 11, verses 2 through 16, you don't find a lot of sermons on this.
08:30: People don't want to address it.
08:32: Now, you'll find some kook in his mother's basement who's writing all about it, but you won't find sermons because they don't want to address it.
08:43: This is one of the most counter cultural passages in the whole Bible.
08:49: It really is.
08:50: As far as culture is concerned, this is the one that is absolutely opposed to everything the culture tells us about men and women, about gender, about the distinctions between the male and the female, the masculine and the feminine.
09:03: All of that is wrapped up in this passage.
09:06: And Paul is going to say some things in this passage that are going to make you uncomfortable.
09:12: And do you know why it's going to make you uncomfortable? It's going to make you uncomfortable because we have become so conditioned to respond negatively to the kind of observations Paul is making by our culture.
09:25: Our culture has said, you can't say that.
09:28: Our culture has said that's offensive.
09:30: It shouldn't be said.
09:32: So we are going to have a guttural reaction of negative to this because the world tells us to and we listen.
09:44: In fact, some of what Paul is going to say here would honestly cause a mob response if it were said in a college.
09:52: I mean, you know right now there are people who would go on colleges to say things and the mob is keeping them out.
09:57: Yeah, use the word.
09:59: Come at me, CNN.
10:00: I don't care.
10:00: The mob.
10:01: Who's yelling and screaming and starting fires and throwing things and hurting people and attacking the police and everything is a mob.
10:10: And they're trying to keep these types of things from being said because they do not want to hear them.
10:22: And I know a lot of folks, they say, well, Paul just didn't know.
10:26: How why should we listen to him? He's 2000 years removed.
10:31: He's on the wrong side of history.
10:35: Right.
10:36: He's a product of an uncaring, misogynistic, patriarchal system set up in the ancient world to exalt men and subjugate women.
10:45: Sounds good, doesn't it? That's what they say.
10:51: And they use passages like this as many of the reasons why they don't believe the Bible to begin with.
10:56: They say the Bible is irrelevant, doesn't matter.
10:58: It's not worthy of anything but dismissal and derision.
11:05: Yet, I'm going to argue that this entire passage is relevant to today.
11:10: My argument this week and next week is this entire passage is still applicable today.
11:17: It cannot be dismissed.
11:19: In fact, it mustn't be dismissed as erroneous and out of touch.
11:23: And while the example Paul uses, I do believe is cultural.
11:26: I'm going to explain that next week why I believe the example is cultural.
11:31: I believe the principle is universal.
11:35: That's where we're going to have to understand, because you might come in today and you say, well, if you believe this passage is true, Pastor, why isn't your wife wearing a veil? If you believe this passage is true, why isn't your wife wearing one of those things like the Mennonite women wear, which is a round piece of cloth that's held onto their hair by bobby pins? If you believe this, Pastor, because I believe the example is cultural, but I believe the principle is universal.
11:59: You have to understand.
12:01: And that's going to be my explanation as we go forward.
12:04: You have to understand that I'm going to make that argument as we go.
12:07: But before we make the argument about that, because I do believe that second, I believe everything about head coverings and all the questions about whether or not men should cover women's cover.
12:16: I think that's secondary to the principle of the passage.
12:19: What's the principle? Here it is.
12:22: And this is this is it.
12:23: This is sermon.
12:24: This this is the thesis.
12:25: You want to write it down.
12:27: This is the thesis.
12:27: There is a distinction between men and women that must be maintained.
12:35: That's the principle is very simple.
12:38: It's not hard.
12:39: The men and women are not the same.
12:42: They shouldn't look the same.
12:45: There should be a distinction between them.
12:47: And there is a distinction between them in the church.
12:55: Furthermore, if that distinction is not maintained, the church will be out of order.
13:06: Now, before you go off and say, oh, pastors are sexist.
13:09: I've been called that.
13:10: I remember very particularly being called that to my face.
13:15: That I was just a sexist, misogynistic, bigoted man.
13:24: I want to argue something with you.
13:25: I'm going to tell you right now that I believe wholeheartedly that one of the major issues in our churches today is that we are out of order on this thing.
13:37: We have missed the order that God has set up and the churches that are out of order and do not make a distinction between men and women in the church that the Bible clearly gives are out of the will of God.
13:53: You say, well, I don't think it's that big of a thing.
13:55: If you saw a gay man preaching from the pulpit, would you be offended? You better be.
14:02: Now, what's the difference between a woman who ain't supposed to be there neither? I can't believe he said that.
14:08: Well, buckle up, because the truth is the truth, right? If they ain't supposed to be there, they ain't supposed to be there.
14:19: John MacArthur said, you don't like what I say.
14:20: Listen, John MacArthur, he said, if you have a woman pastor, you don't have a pastor, you don't have a church.
14:24: It's out of the will of God.
14:26: Oh, I can't believe he said such a thing.
14:28: He's 80.
14:28: He don't care.
14:30: He's fixing to meet Jesus at some point, hopefully not for a long time, but he doesn't care.
14:35: And he's going to say it like it is.
14:36: And I'm going to parrot him because he's telling the truth.
14:41: As hard as it is to hear, there are distinctions between men and women that the Bible gives.
14:47: And if we don't honor those distinctions, if we don't recognize those distinctions, one, we're lying to ourselves and two, we're dishonoring God.
15:05: So let's begin with verse two.
15:07: We're going to go as far as we can.
15:08: Like I said, we're going to look at verse two.
15:10: You guys remember the context where we are? Paul is addressing a church that has problems from the first chapter all the way to here.
15:17: He's been dealing with pride, immaturity and disobedience.
15:20: That's the whole crux of the Corinthian problem is they've got pride.
15:24: They were saying, I'm a Paul, I'm a Paulus, I'm a Peter, you know, I'm of Christ.
15:27: They've got immaturity.
15:29: Paul says they're like carnal, they're of the flesh.
15:32: They're not even behaving like mature Christians ought to.
15:34: And he says they're disobedient.
15:36: They got this one guy in sin.
15:37: They're not dealing with him.
15:38: They got people who are eating meat, sacrifice to idols in the midst of those who it's offensive to and they don't care about who they're offending or what.
15:43: And that's been the last section, right? Chapter eight, all the way to chapter 11, verse one, all about meat, sacrifice to idols.
15:49: And the whole issue there was disobedience to Christ and love of neighbor.
15:53: Right.
15:53: So all of this has brought us to this place.
15:55: And in chapter 11, verse one, you'll notice I didn't read verse one when we opened up.
16:00: You know why I didn't read verse one? Because that's still part of chapter 10, I believe.
16:03: I believe the verse one of chapter 11, this is where chapter distinctions can be a problem.
16:07: I believe at the end of chapter 10, Paul says, be imitators of me as I am of Christ.
16:11: I think that's the last part of chapter 10, not the first part of chapter 11.
16:15: Paul has been telling them all about these things that they ought to do.
16:18: He's used himself as an example several times.
16:20: In chapter nine, he uses himself as an example.
16:21: And he says, be imitators of me.
16:23: And people say, oh, Paul is so prideful.
16:25: How can any man say, be an imitator of me as I am of Christ? Last week, we ordained two elders.
16:29: And what did we say about those two men? They are examples.
16:35: They're not perfect.
16:36: And I think that Mr.
16:37: Mike, when he was up here, admitted his imperfections.
16:40: And I know Andy would as well.
16:41: They both said they're not perfect, but they still say, I'm going to shepherd.
16:45: I'm going to get out front.
16:46: I'm going to lean.
16:46: That's all Paul's saying.
16:47: He's saying imitate me as I imitate Christ.
16:50: And if I'm not imitating Christ, please don't imitate me.
16:52: All right.
16:52: That's that's the reality of it.
16:54: And that's Paul's point.
16:57: Paul's not being arrogant.
16:59: And then we get to verse two, he's called them to imitate him.
17:05: Verse two, he says, now I commend you because you remember me and everything.
17:11: And you maintain the traditions even as I delivered them to you.
17:16: Paul commends them for two things.
17:19: He says, you remember me and you maintain the traditions.
17:24: Now, very quickly, when he says you remember me, I think what he means is you remember what I've taught.
17:28: He could also mean that they remember him in prayer.
17:31: He's thankful for them and he's giving them a commendation.
17:33: Thank you for remembering me.
17:35: Thank you for remembering what I taught.
17:37: Thank you for maintaining the traditions that I taught.
17:39: And here's the thing, people right away, especially today, people always talk about being non-traditional.
17:44: Oh, I hate tradition.
17:45: Blah, blah, blah.
17:46: Right.
17:47: When Paul uses the word tradition here, we have to understand the word tradition here is very important because in this particular context, he's not talking about the tradition of maybe how you dress or whether you wear this or that or whether you have color, the carpet or whatever, those traditional things that don't really matter, whether the pulpit's here or the pulpit's over there or whatever.
18:05: Paul's talking about the gospel.
18:06: How do I know that? Because in 2 Thessalonians 2.15, Paul says this, brothers, stand firm and hold to the traditions that you were taught by us, either by the spoken word or by letter.
18:15: In that sense, he's using the word tradition not to reference just the small mundane things, but the tradition that he's passed on to them is the truth of the gospel.
18:24: And so here he's commending them to obey and he's commending them for believing the gospel, maintaining the traditions that have been given.
18:33: Now, there's a long conversation about Roman Catholics and how they view tradition and scripture the same.
18:37: And that's a whole other conversation.
18:38: We can have it later.
18:39: But the point is, in this context, tradition is referring to the body of truth that Paul has given.
18:47: And he's commending them for listening and maintaining it.
18:52: But I want you to notice something.
18:54: See in verse 2 where he says, I commend you now, hold your place there and go down to verse 17.
19:02: You'll notice in verse 17, he says this, but in the following instructions, I what? I do not commend you.
19:11: So he's giving them a commendation in verse 2 and in verse 17, he says, but in this thing, I don't commend you.
19:19: You say, well, what does that mean? There's a bookend here.
19:23: There's a bookend here.
19:24: He's commending them in one regard.
19:26: He's not commending them in another regard.
19:28: And so verses 3 through 15 or 3 through 16 is set apart almost like a chapter.
19:35: This is the bookends of an argument.
19:38: He's commending them in one regard and he's not commending them in another.
19:41: And thus we have this.
19:43: But what's the why is this there? Because this is part of a much larger argument about the church.
19:52: Chapter 11 all the way through the end of chapter 14 is going to deal with the ministry of the gospel within the assembly of the church.
20:04: Paul's going to deal with the Lord's Supper.
20:07: And how the people who were coming to have the Lord's Supper, some of them were doing it wrong.
20:11: Some of them were misbehaving.
20:12: Some of them shouldn't be doing it.
20:13: And some of them should be careful because they're eating and drinking damnation unto themselves.
20:16: We're going to talk about that in a few weeks.
20:18: He talks about spiritual gifts.
20:20: He talks about speaking in tongues and prophecy and healing and all those other spiritual gifts.
20:24: We're going to talk about that.
20:25: That's in chapters 12, 13 and 14.
20:27: He talks about love among the fellowship and how love is the most important priority.
20:31: And even if you speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love your resounding gong or clanging cymbals.
20:36: He's going to talk about all that.
20:37: It's all in the midst of the congregation.
20:40: But the first thing he deals with in dealing with the church, chapters 11 through 14, the first thing he deals with is men and women.
20:54: Isn't that interesting? He's going to spend three chapters dealing with how the church ought to function.
21:00: And he starts when you got a problem with how you understand the role of men and women in the church.
21:09: That's a pretty big deal.
21:11: And he teaches something.
21:15: We have big words, theologians like big words.
21:17: He teaches something called complementarianism.
21:21: I've never heard that word.
21:24: Complementary.
21:24: And by the way, it's not complement.
21:26: Like if I say, Dale, those are nice tennis shoes, right? That's a complement.
21:29: That's with an I.
21:31: Complement with an I.
21:33: But complement, when it's an E, where the I would go, means to complete.
21:39: To complement two things is bringing two things together, which were partly something and making them one.
21:45: That's complete, complement or complement.
21:49: Right.
21:49: So it's two different words.
21:50: And complementarianism says this.
21:53: Men and women are equal under Christ, but are both different in their roles under Christ.
22:02: And they complement one another.
22:06: They are not supposed to be the same.
22:10: Now, the opposite of that view is called egalitarianism.
22:15: Have you heard that? The word egalitarianism means there is no distinctions to be made between men and women.
22:24: Men and women must be always the same, always equal.
22:29: No distinctions are to be made.
22:34: I want to tell you that is not in the Bible.
22:39: Egalitarianism really began to rise in the last century.
22:43: Maybe you could argue that it started to rise in the middle of the 1800s, but really had its heyday in the 1900s, primarily after the rise of the liberation movement that has come in the mid-1900s, especially the sexual revolution in the 60s and those things where the argument was you can't tell a woman that you can't do this just because you're a woman or you can't say that this is for men just because they're a man.
23:12: And so complementarianism went out.
23:16: Men and women don't complement each other.
23:18: Men and women must be the same.
23:21: Men and women must be seen as the same and treated as the same.
23:24: And there is no distinctions to be made.
23:28: That is egalitarianism.
23:30: And that honestly is the majority report in many, many churches is egalitarianism.
23:39: Complementarianism is found more traditional, use the word traditional loosely there, more conservative.
23:46: Bible believing churches will typically be complementarianism or complementary, but it's not always the same.
23:53: In fact, how many of you know Al Mohler? Al Mohler is the head of Southern Baptist Theological Seminary.
23:59: He is one of the top theologians in the world, I would argue one of the one of the leaders in the evangelical movement.
24:07: Al Mohler, when he came to Southern Seminary, I believe it was in 1993, he was absolutely rebuffed.
24:15: The students rejected him in many ways.
24:17: Sometimes, I mean, they were doing all kinds of things to try to push him out.
24:21: They did not want him.
24:23: And you know what the primary reason why they didn't want Al Mohler to come to Southern Seminary? Because Al Mohler did not believe that a woman should be a pastor.
24:34: And as a result, they were.
24:35: And I've watched the video of the question and answer time when he was in front of the students in their chapel.
24:42: I've been in that chapel.
24:43: I was there when Aaron graduated.
24:44: I've been in the same.
24:45: I've seen him in the same place he was at during that conversation.
24:48: And they're asking him the questions and every one of them.
24:51: You need to meet with me.
24:53: The women would stand up.
24:54: You need to meet with me because I know God has called me to this.
24:57: And you can't tell me any different over and over and over again.
25:02: There is no difference between men and women.
25:06: And that was the argument.
25:08: He stood his ground.
25:11: He stood his ground, and I'm thankful for it, and he's still there to this day.
25:16: But it wasn't without a lot of hatred and hatred that still continues from some even to now.
25:23: So, again, we move now to verse three, and I want to show you Paul's point here, because Paul begins in verse three to say this.
25:30: Even though he's given him a condemnation, he puts the adversity.
25:32: But he says, but even though I'm going to I'm commending you for remembering me and remembering the traditions I've taught you and maintaining the traditions, I commend you for that.
25:42: But I want you to understand there's out of order here.
25:51: And here it is.
25:52: I want you to understand, the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.
26:07: The head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.
26:14: Right away, you can hear the discomfort, you can hear it, you can smell the anxiety.
26:25: I mean, if I stood up, imagine me standing up in the middle of a group of folks who are not believers, who don't care about the Bible.
26:39: I'd be laughed out of town.
26:41: I'd be surprised if I made it in my car.
26:47: I'm not saying anything but what it says, and it would be offensive.
26:54: So what do you mean, the head of a wife is her husband? What do you mean by that? That's crazy talk.
27:06: Now, I don't want to explain it because it's important to understand the meaning.
27:10: The word for head here is kephele in the Greek and kephele can have two meanings.
27:17: And this is where there's a little bit of debate.
27:20: But I want to I want to ask you when I'm done explaining the two meanings, which one is the obvious meaning? Right.
27:27: Because it's one of those times where you've got two options and one ain't an option.
27:33: Right.
27:35: Kephele can mean source or it can also mean authority.
27:44: It can mean source or it can mean authority.
27:47: Another word for authority might be lord or master.
27:50: Just keep that in your mind for a second.
27:52: The word kephele literally means head.
27:55: It was the word that was used when capital punishment was done.
27:57: Remember when the daughter of Herodias danced and Herod said, I'll give you half my kingdom.
28:04: And what does she say? Bring me the kephele of John the Baptist.
28:09: That's the word.
28:11: Head.
28:11: That's what the word is.
28:12: So by that, we know the literal rendering of kephele is head.
28:17: But what's the meaning of it, though? Well, it could be, like I said, somebody might say it's source.
28:25: And you could maybe make that argument.
28:28: The source of every man is Christ.
28:31: Maybe.
28:32: The source of a wife is her husband.
28:35: No, doesn't make sense.
28:38: The source of Christ is God.
28:40: Now you're getting into some Trinitarian argument there.
28:43: If you take that meaning, you're starting to really address an issue all the way around.
28:48: But if you take it as authority or even as Lord.
28:52: Oh, be careful, Keith.
28:54: You take it as Lord.
28:56: That's what it means.
28:57: If you look it up, you look it up in Thares.
28:58: You look it up in Laonita.
28:59: You look it up in all of the major Greek lexicons.
29:03: Kephele means Lord.
29:05: Mounce's dictionary.
29:06: All these Greek scholars.
29:08: That's what it means.
29:10: Figuratively means master, Lord, whatever.
29:16: If I said to you, the Lord of every man is Christ.
29:21: Amen.
29:24: Nobody has an issue with that.
29:26: But then when I say, the Lord of a wife is her husband.
29:30: Oh, my mercy.
29:32: Look out.
29:34: But that's literal.
29:36: If you're going to maintain interpretation based on a grammatical structure in the context of the term.
29:47: You can't move from one meaning to another if you're using the same word in the same context.
29:52: So if the meaning of the head of the man is Christ.
29:56: The Lord of the man is Christ.
29:57: Then the meaning of the head of the wife is her husband is the same word.
30:04: But the whole world absolutely melts when you say that.
30:11: And by the way, I want to just point this out.
30:13: My wife is not here today.
30:15: Because my daughter is sick.
30:17: Not because she didn't want to hear this.
30:20: No, she actually, we talked about this so much.
30:23: And she was so gracious.
30:24: And she understands what this means.
30:26: And I hope that by the end of the message you'll understand.
30:28: That this is in no way giving any man the right to abuse his wife.
30:32: Mistreat his wife or be anything but a loving servant to his wife.
30:35: As Christ loves the church.
30:38: So I understand that all of this actually puts a larger burden on men.
30:44: Than it does give them a position where they would treat any woman like a doormat.
30:49: That's absolutely misunderstanding.
30:52: And so all of that I'm saying.
30:53: We have to understand what Christ is to the church.
30:57: The man is to his wife.
30:59: That's the whole point.
31:01: Love her, protect her, sacrifice for her.
31:04: Be a priest, a pastor and a prophet to her.
31:08: All of those things is the man's responsibility.
31:11: So this really puts an onus on the man to be the man.
31:16: When I was first ordained to the ministry.
31:19: I was asked to do a wedding.
31:22: And I was too young and naive to understand that I could set the terms for my participation.
31:29: Nowadays I do.
31:30: By the way if you ever come to me and ask me to do a wedding.
31:32: I have terms for me participating in a wedding.
31:35: But when I was 24 years old and I had just been ordained.
31:37: I didn't understand the liberty that I had in that.
31:41: Kind of felt obligated right.
31:44: And there was a person.
31:45: They weren't members of the church.
31:46: But they came to me and asked me to do a wedding.
31:49: And I said I would do it.
31:50: And we sat down and we started doing all the wedding conversation.
31:53: And in the midst of the vows.
31:55: Discussing the vows.
31:57: I was told this.
32:00: Don't.
32:00: This is by the bride.
32:02: Do not.
32:04: Put.
32:05: Obey.
32:06: In the vows.
32:08: You know the vows.
32:09: The traditional vows.
32:10: You love.
32:11: Honor.
32:13: Cherish.
32:14: Obey.
32:15: Right.
32:16: And she said.
32:17: That will not be in my wedding.
32:21: Because my wedding.
32:23: Is going to be an equal.
32:25: Partnership.
32:28: Just so you know those people are now divorced.
32:35: People take great issue.
32:37: With the husband being an authority in the relationship.
32:39: And I can honestly say.
32:41: That's not the issue I take.
32:43: And you say it's because you're the husband.
32:44: No it's because I'm a theologian.
32:46: When I read verse 3.
32:47: The issue I take is where it says the head of Christ is God.
32:49: I take a little bit of an issue with that.
32:51: Not that I'm taking issue with the scripture.
32:52: But if there was any part of it.
32:54: That was going to bother me.
32:55: As a theologian.
32:56: I understand the trinity says this.
32:58: God is one in essence.
32:59: And that essence is absolutely united.
33:01: And is absolutely undivided.
33:04: In the sense of it's essence.
33:06: God is not divided.
33:07: And yet there are three persons.
33:09: Who share that essence.
33:10: And those three persons are equal.
33:14: And distinct.
33:15: Remember when we did the trinity.
33:16: I taught on that.
33:18: So why is it.
33:20: That it would say here.
33:21: That Christ's head is God.
33:24: Or the head of Christ is God.
33:26: You know your Jehovah's Witnesses might ask you.
33:30: They might come and say.
33:30: Well hey.
33:31: You believe that God and Jesus are equal.
33:35: And yet here it says.
33:37: The head of Christ is God.
33:39: Oh no.
33:40: We've got to abandon the trinity.
33:41: Because nobody's ever thought of that before.
33:44: Don't be sarcastic.
33:45: I might do that.
33:47: But don't follow my bad example.
33:49: Because.
33:52: You have to understand.
33:54: When it's referring ever.
33:56: To Christ and God.
33:57: In the distinct situation.
33:59: Of Christ and God.
34:01: There is always a sense.
34:03: Where the son is submissive.
34:05: To the father in the incarnation.
34:07: When the son came to earth.
34:10: The Bible says.
34:12: Though he was equal with God.
34:13: He did not count equality with God.
34:16: Something to hold on to.
34:18: But rather he made himself nothing.
34:20: Coming in the flesh.
34:22: And taking on this flesh.
34:24: He did that so he could die on the cross.
34:26: And in doing so.
34:28: He was in voluntary submission.
34:30: To the headship of the father.
34:33: And he said.
34:34: I didn't come to do my will.
34:36: But what? The will of him who sent me.
34:41: The son.
34:42: Even though equal to the father.
34:45: Submits himself to the father.
34:47: And you say.
34:47: Well what has this got to do with anything? This has got everything to do with everything.
34:51: Because the whole point I've been making all day.
34:52: Is that men and women are equal.
34:54: But that there is a voluntary submission.
34:56: That one gives to the other.
34:57: Out of honor to Christ.
35:01: God the father and God the son are equal.
35:03: And yet the son submits to the father.
35:06: In the economy of the trinity.
35:08: For the purpose of the incarnation.
35:10: And so that becomes a picture of marriage.
35:14: The man and the woman are equal.
35:16: And yet they have one.
35:17: In the relationship.
35:19: Who is the authority.
35:19: And one in the position.
35:20: Who is in the position of submitting.
35:22: For the purpose of glorifying God.
35:25: In the same way the son submits to the father.
35:27: In the incarnation.
35:28: The wife submits to the husband.
35:30: In the marriage relationship.
35:32: Make sense? And that's the whole argument.
35:35: Paul is making.
35:37: Men and women are equal.
35:39: But positionally.
35:41: There's an authority.
35:42: Given to the man.
35:45: And there's an expectation of submission.
35:48: On the part of the woman.
35:51: And this applies to the home.
35:53: And to the church.
35:55: And this does not demean women.
35:57: Any more than Christ is demeaned.
36:00: When he takes on that position of submission.
36:02: In the incarnation.
36:04: If women say, well, I don't like that.
36:05: That demeans me.
36:06: Was Christ demeaned.
36:07: When he humbled himself.
36:10: To the father.
36:11: In the incarnation.
36:12: No.
36:13: In fact, he was exalted.
36:15: For having done so.
36:22: I'm running low on time.
36:23: So this is as far as we're going to go in 1 Corinthians.
36:25: But I want to take you somewhere else.
36:27: Because I want to show you.
36:28: That this isn't just a one place scripture.
36:30: I want to show you.
36:31: That this scripture actually.
36:33: It's found other places.
36:34: And probably the most expressive place.
36:36: I want to take you to Ephesians 5.
36:38: Can I do that? Can I show you.
36:39: As we begin to draw to a close.
36:41: That this is something.
36:42: That Paul helps us to understand.
36:44: Even more in Ephesians 5.
36:47: And I honestly.
36:48: I don't have the time to exegete this whole passage.
36:50: I'm just going to read it to you.
36:51: I'm going to make a couple of small comments.
36:52: And then I'm going to begin to draw to a close.
37:00: In Ephesians chapter 5.
37:03: Go to verse 22.
37:10: Okay.
37:14: Verse 22.
37:16: The admonition is to the wife.
37:20: Wives.
37:21: Submit.
37:22: To your own husbands.
37:24: As to the Lord.
37:27: For the husband.
37:28: Is the kephele.
37:30: The head.
37:31: Same word.
37:32: The head.
37:33: Of the wife.
37:35: Even as Christ.
37:37: Is the kephele.
37:37: The head.
37:38: Of the church.
37:39: His body.
37:40: And is himself.
37:42: Its.
37:42: Savior.
37:43: Now as the church.
37:45: Submits to Christ.
37:48: So also wives.
37:49: Should submit in everything.
37:51: To their husbands.
37:52: Right there.
37:54: Everything I've said so far.
37:55: Is just reiterated.
37:57: Everything I've said so far.
37:58: I can show you now.
37:59: That I'm not just misinterpreting.
38:01: First Corinthians 11.
38:02: And turning it on its head.
38:04: To make it fit something that I believe.
38:05: Or something that I want it to say.
38:07: I've shown you now.
38:08: What we call the analogia scriptorum.
38:10: Or the analogy of scripture.
38:11: I've shown you that scripture.
38:12: Agrees with scripture on this subject.
38:14: And there's no argument.
38:15: And I can take you to first Peter 3.
38:17: Where it says the same things.
38:18: Wives submit unto your husbands.
38:19: In fact in first Peter 3.
38:21: It says even if your husband doesn't believe.
38:27: Even if he's an unbeliever.
38:31: As long as he continues to live with you.
38:33: You submit to his authority.
38:40: But you notice.
38:41: Ephesians 5 doesn't stop in verse 24.
38:45: And this is the part that I wanted to get to.
38:46: Because men.
38:47: As I said earlier.
38:48: I'm talking to you today.
38:51: Women think I'm trying to tell them.
38:53: To be more submissive.
38:54: No I'm trying to explain to men.
38:56: You need to take the reins.
38:58: You need to be the leader.
39:00: But how does a man lead in his home? Husbands.
39:05: Love your wives.
39:10: How? As Christ loves the church.
39:15: Husband love your wife as Christ loved the church.
39:18: And gave himself up for her.
39:21: That he might sanctify her.
39:23: Having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word.
39:28: So that he might present the church to himself in splendor.
39:32: Without spot or wrinkle or any such thing.
39:36: That she might be holy and without blemish.
39:40: In the same way.
39:41: Husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.
39:44: He who loves his wife loves himself.
39:47: For no one ever hated his own flesh.
39:48: But nourishes it and cherishes it.
39:51: Just as Christ does the church.
39:52: Because we are members of his body.
39:54: Therefore.
39:55: Verse 31.
39:57: Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother.
39:59: And hold fast to his wife.
40:01: And the two shall become one flesh.
40:02: This mystery is profound.
40:03: And I say.
40:04: I am saying that it refers to Christ in the church.
40:07: However.
40:07: Let each one of you love his wife as himself.
40:10: And let the wife see that she respects her husband.
40:14: That's the relationship that God provides for the marriage relationship.
40:18: He said the husbands love your wives.
40:20: How? How am I supposed to love her? As Christ loved the church.
40:26: That means patience.
40:29: That means being a mediator with her.
40:32: With God.
40:32: And praying over her.
40:34: Not her mediators.
40:36: Christ is the only mediator between God and men.
40:37: But being a priest.
40:38: In the sense of praying for her.
40:40: Praying with her.
40:41: Leading her in prayer.
40:43: Leading her to the word.
40:44: Washing her with the water of the word.
40:52: Men come.
40:53: I'm not happy with my wife.
40:59: Are you washing her with the water of the word? Are you loving her as Christ loved the church? Are you praying for her? Are you praying with her? Are you leading her as a shepherd of your home? Sometimes he is.
41:17: And sometimes that's not enough.
41:19: Because she has her part too.
41:22: Because it says husbands love your wives.
41:24: And wives.
41:29: Phobetai.
41:31: That's where we get the word phobia.
41:34: That's where we get the word fear.
41:37: You say am I supposed to fear my husband? No.
41:39: Not in the sense that you're afraid of his anger.
41:42: Or afraid of his wrath.
41:43: Or afraid especially of his hands.
41:45: That's awful.
41:47: But it's reverential respect.
41:49: That's the point.
41:51: Phobetai.
41:51: To respect.
41:52: We're called to fear the Lord.
41:54: And we're called the wife to respect her husband.
41:58: And that's the relationship.
42:00: And you say well why did God say that? Do you know there's never a verse in the Bible that I'm aware of.
42:04: Where it says wives love your husbands? It says husbands love your wives.
42:14: Wives respect your husbands.
42:18: You say well why is that? I don't know the exact reason.
42:20: But I'll tell you what I think.
42:22: I think the reason is because when it comes to men.
42:25: The difficult thing for us to do is love.
42:27: So that's the command.
42:31: Wives have usually a more tender disposition.
42:35: And an ability to love.
42:37: The difficult thing sometimes though is being respectful.
42:40: And so that's the command.
42:42: And here's how it works out in real life.
42:48: Men understand love through respect.
42:53: A woman can say that she loves a man.
42:55: But if she disrespects his work.
42:57: If she disrespects him as a person.
42:59: If she disrespects him publicly.
43:01: If she disrespects his manhood.
43:03: That's robbing him of any sense of love he might have.
43:07: So the woman is called to respect her husband.
43:09: Because that's how men understand respect.
43:11: Or understand love.
43:15: And men we are called to love our wives as Christ loved the church.
43:19: Lay down ourselves for her.
43:21: Give up our wants for her.
43:23: Do everything we can for her.
43:29: And when we do so the gospel is magnified in this truth.
43:34: Because the marriage relationship is a picture of the gospel.
43:39: When a family operates as Christ intended.
43:43: It is a parable of the gospel.
43:46: It's a living parable.
43:48: Because the husband loves his wife.
43:49: He cares for her.
43:50: Ministers to her.
43:51: Prays for her.
43:51: Leads her.
43:52: Loves her.
43:52: Lays down himself for her.
43:54: As Christ did for the bride.
43:57: And the wife respects her husband.
43:58: Submits unto him.
43:59: And cherishes him as the church should Christ.
44:04: And the man and the woman become a living parable of the gospel.
44:08: And as I said, for some people that's too much.
44:13: Some people that's too much.
44:19: We have to be absolutely equal.
44:21: We have to be absolutely equal.
44:23: I have to say this about that.
44:26: Because they'll say, oh, pastor, you're making women second class citizens.
44:31: No, I'm not.
44:32: And here's why.
44:34: Here's why.
44:35: In 1 Peter 3, verse 7.
44:38: It says this.
44:41: It says that men, bear with your wives as the weaker vessel.
44:48: And oh man, if there's an offensive passage, that's one of them.
44:54: You're saying women are weaker than men? How in the world could you say that women are weaker than men? In this regard, Paul is saying, or rather Peter, because in 1 Peter.
45:04: 1 Peter, he's saying this.
45:07: He's saying that there is a sense in which a man.
45:12: Must in love and patience and gratitude.
45:18: Be willing to bear with whatever weaknesses his wife has.
45:25: It doesn't matter.
45:27: Because he is the one who's responsible to lead.
45:31: The leader has to bear with the weaknesses that are there.
45:36: And you say, you're saying she's weak.
45:38: I don't like that.
45:39: Let me ask you this question.
45:40: What's more valuable? A Ming vase or steel cup? A Ming vase is infinitely more valuable than a steel cup.
45:54: But which one's stronger? So by saying a woman is weaker, it in no way implies that she's less valuable.
46:03: I would argue she's more valuable.
46:05: I would argue she has worth.
46:11: That's so valuable.
46:14: That the man must commit himself.
46:17: To the protection.
46:19: The provision.
46:20: And the pastoring of his wife.
46:25: We have been given certain things.
46:28: As men.
46:29: That are different than women.
46:30: And women have been given things that men don't have.
46:33: For the purpose of completing.
46:36: One another.
46:37: And beloved.
46:40: I tell you this.
46:42: When we complete one another.
46:44: When we come together in that completion.
46:47: It is a beautiful.
46:49: Living.
46:51: Parable.
46:52: Of the gospel of Christ.
46:56: So I call you today.
46:57: Men.
46:58: Go home.
47:00: And love your wives.
47:01: If you got them.
47:03: Wives.
47:05: By the grace of God.
47:07: Respect your husbands.
47:08: If you've got them.
47:10: And for those of you who are not married.
47:12: Who may walk away today and say.
47:13: Well he wasn't talking to me.
47:15: Let me say this to you.
47:18: It's all about Christ.
47:21: Because every marriage relationship.
47:22: Is a picture of the gospel.
47:23: Either a good one or a bad one.
47:26: Maybe some of you out there today.
47:28: Aren't married anymore.
47:29: But you once were.
47:30: And you can look back on your relationship.
47:31: And say you know what.
47:32: Even though my spouse is no longer with me.
47:34: Maybe they were taken in death.
47:35: But in that moment.
47:36: I had a picture of the gospel.
47:37: And I can look at that.
47:38: And I can thank God for that.
47:39: Or I can look at the relationships in the room.
47:41: I can thank God for that.
47:42: But at the end of the day.
47:43: We all are saved by the same gospel.
47:46: And every parable.
47:47: Every picture that points us to that gospel.
47:49: Is glorifying Christ.
47:52: So this morning.
47:53: I call you again.
47:54: Men.
47:55: Love your wives.
47:56: Wives.
47:57: Respect your husbands.
47:58: And in doing so.
48:00: Glorify Christ.
48:01: Let's pray.
48:04: Father I thank you for your word.
48:06: I thank you for the truth.
48:07: I pray that in the week to come.
48:09: That you'll give me boldness and insight.
48:12: To continue preaching this text.
48:14: To never do so with a haughty or hurtful or hateful manner.
48:18: But to do so in such a way that glorifies you.
48:21: And reminds us that you have not created us to be the same.
48:24: But you have created us to be what you've created us to be.
48:28: Men as men.
48:28: And women as women.
48:31: Not usurping each other's roles.
48:33: Not replacing each other's roles.
48:35: But living according to the calling that you've given us.
48:38: Lord grant us repentance where we have failed.
48:41: To do this very thing.
48:43: And it's in Christ's name we pray.
48:46: Amen.