First Date Evangelism: An Easy and Effective Method | Ep. 3

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I've been seeking to answer this one specific question, and it's probably one of the most important questions to ask.

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It keeps popping up more and more as I talk to Christians across the country. How do I effectively share my faith in today's culture?

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Especially when people, they get angry when we start talking from our Christian convictions. They start attacking us, particularly on social media, when we start opening up and speaking about our faith.

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How do we share the gospel? How do we defend the faith in a manner that people get engaged, they lean in, and they are open to changing their minds?

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Several years ago, I came up with our signature method of communicating the Christian faith. It's called First Date Evangelism.

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It's based purely on the teaching methodology of Jesus, and it's been described as a game changer for those who have already been through the training.

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Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's like dating a non -believer so they'll get saved, right? No, Jack Nicholson.

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But let me explain. I'm Nate, and welcome to Wise Disciple.

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On this channel, we're all about living effectively as Christians in today's culture. Now, I have a question for you.

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Do you think it's wise to engage folks for Christ on social media? Let me know what your thoughts are.

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Send them down in the comments below, and I'd love to interact with them. As I mentioned at the outset, First Date Evangelism is a game changer, and it is the way forward when it comes to communicating your faith in today's culture.

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Now, it trades on the unspoken rules of a first date. Having lived in Las Vegas in my 20s,

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I've been on about three or four thousand first dates. Here are the unspoken rules.

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Here's one of them. Don't talk about yourself all that much. That is, if you want to have a second date, don't sit down, and when you're asked the question, where are you from, you start saying, well, you see,

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I got to start with my grandfather. He was born in Boise, and he met my grandmother at the age of three at a playground outside of town.

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No, don't do that. Instead, put the focus on the person that you're talking to, and make them feel incredibly important, and the way that you do that is you ask them questions to put the spotlight on them.

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That's how First Date Evangelism works. I'm going to give you three simple rules to First Date Evangelism, but first, you have to understand the science is all over the place on this one.

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The most recent example of this, there was a journal that was published in the area of social psychology, and it pitted two groups of people with their own worldview and opinions that differed.

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They offered these groups money to read two sets of articles. They could either read articles that agreed with their presuppositions for a certain amount of money, or they were offered more money to read articles that challenged and disagreed with their presuppositions.

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Two -thirds of the group chose which set of articles? The ones that agreed with their presuppositions.

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They refused more money in order to go along with the ones that agreed with them already.

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Now, let's bring that into the area of conversation for Jesus Christ. Logical arguments almost never work by themselves.

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Now, why do I say that? You've got to watch the previous videos. Like I said, belief and decision making are largely emotional.

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We are the intersection of logic and emotion, and there is a proper order of persuasion that we must respect.

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Jesus knew this. Your goal, Christian, is to accomplish all of the things that I've laid out, the case that I've built over the last two episodes, all at the same time.

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And how do we do that? First aid evangelism. Rule number one, don't make speeches.

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I'm convinced that scientists are soon going to discover that it's in our very DNA to want to lecture people, to want to make speeches.

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And if you have that urge, then I encourage you right now to go to the ER and have it surgically removed.

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Because here's the thing, that kind of paradigm of communication, which is the norm in today's culture, is furthering the kinds of things that I just pointed out in that scientific study a moment ago.

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So we need to get rid of it. That means rule number two, we need to ask the right kinds of questions. What I mean is we're not asking what the weather is like in London or what time of day it is in Ireland.

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We should be asking only the right questions that lead to the foot of the cross. And finally, rule number three, respect and affirm the person that you're talking to.

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Look, the Bible is replete with injunctions that you should not only communicate the right message, but you should also be a certain kind of person when you communicate it.

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And the spirit and the tone of the scripture is that you need to respect people. Even people that disagree with me?

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Yes, even people that disagree with you. And I would argue you need to find places of affirmation that you can then build upon to then get to your message about Jesus Christ.

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In the area of rule number two, there are really two categories of questions that I suggest you employ.

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The first category are what I call fact finding questions, especially when you're getting into a conversation for the first time with somebody or whether you're barely getting to know a person.

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The fact finding questions are crucial so that you can have a productive conversation for Christ. Fact finding questions are designed to get the person you're talking to to reveal what it is that they believe and why they believe it.

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The best fact finding questions that I've ever seen come from our friend

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Greg Koukl's book, Tactics. Greg Koukl is a Christian apologist. He has a wonderful ministry. It's called

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Stand to Reason. Definitely check out his website. I'll leave that in the show notes. Greg Koukl wrote a book called Tactics where he delineates certain kinds of questions.

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He calls them Columbo questions. And some of those actually are the best fact finding questions to ask.

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Let me give you two of my favorites. What do you mean by that? And how did you come to that conclusion?

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If you just bring those two questions into any conversation that you have with a skeptic or a non -believer, your conversations will immediately become much more productive.

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Let me give you an example of what I'm talking about. It's a very simple example and easy to employ immediately.

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Imagine that you're talking to a Mormon. We got a lot of Mormons in Las Vegas, so this is my go -to illustration.

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Whether the Mormon comes and knocks on the door or whether it's a friend of yours, a neighbor across the street, let's say the

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Mormon in conversation says to you, I read the Book of Mormon and the

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Holy Spirit revealed to me that it's true. Has that ever happened to you before? What is your initial reaction?

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If you follow the typical paradigm of communication, you're going to go, well, wait a second. Proverbs chapter 12 says that the fool is right in his own eyes.

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And then of course, Jeremiah 17 says that the heart is the most deceitful who can trust it. And then you'll take those

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Bible verses, ball them up, and you'll throw them at their forehead. And then what's the Mormon going to do? The Mormon's going to throw some verses back at you.

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Thank you. Walk away and leave. And what's the next thing that's going to happen? They're going to be poured into by their elders.

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And their elders are going to make sure that they maintain their Mormon convictions. There is a more effective way to do this kind of a thing.

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Bring the fact finding questions in. What do you mean by that? The Holy Spirit revealed it to you.

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What do you mean when you say that phrase? If you ask that question, probably what they're going to say is, well, I read the book of Mormon, and I had a deep sense.

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I had a feeling that it was true. And they're attributing that feeling to the Holy Spirit. So here's the next question you bring in.

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And it's devastating because there is no answer. How did you come to the conclusion that your feelings are the

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Holy Spirit? That is a question that if you drop with the proper attitude, you respect and affirm the person that you're talking to.

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That is a question that can change a Mormon's life by the power of the Holy Spirit. Because there is no criteria to distinguish between a

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Mormon's own feelings and the Holy Spirit. There is none. This is what I mean by asking the right kinds of questions that are the most effective.

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That sticks with somebody. Have you ever had that moment where you got into a back and forth with someone, and they said something to you, and you didn't have a good answer?

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You kind of tried. You sputtered and started like a dying boat engine. And then you, on the drive home for 30 minutes, you were just stewing on it.

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You were thinking about it. That kind of question has the power to stick with somebody in a really good way.

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If the Holy Spirit is doing a work on their hearts, it will become poison that will completely unravel the

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Mormon belief system. So those are the kinds of fact -finding questions that I'm advocating you use.

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Now that leads me to the other category of questions, which actually deserves its own full episode.

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Why? Because these specific questions are designed to bring down beliefs from the inside out.

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They trade on the principles of good debate. I was a former debate teacher, so this is kind of fun for me to talk about.

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I have three simple steps to formulate the best kinds of leading questions that, again, will take your conversations right to the foot of the cross.