Husbands, Love Your Wives (part 3) - [Ephesians 5:25-32]

Bethlehem Bible Church

Subscribe

Download

Share

00

00:01

Our Father in heaven, we come before you this morning, thankful for all that you grant us, all that you give us, all that you bless us with, even as we think about the common things that we enjoy, just being able to meet here in a building, to be able to travel here in automobiles, all the goodness and kindness of common grace.

00:30

But Father, we especially thank you for your special grace in causing us to be born again, to grant us new hearts, new ways of thinking, new affections.

00:47

Father, use these new affections, use these new ways of thinking, use our new hearts to transform our lives.

00:56

Teach us by your word to be kinder, to be more thoughtful, to put the needs of others before our own, and most of all, to seek to glorify the

01:16

Lord Jesus Christ with our thoughts and with our lives. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.

01:22

Well, you know, here's a few things that you wouldn't expect to hear in Sunday school.

01:30

And here we are in Sunday school. How about this? Well, I was talking to the old ball and chain last night.

01:46

Yeah, me and my old lady. Why do people, why do husbands talk like that?

01:53

And where do they talk like that? At work, among their friends.

02:01

I mean, isn't it, it's amazing in one sense, but mostly it's sad.

02:08

I used to listen to guys talk like that and just think, I don't ever want to talk about my wife like that.

02:15

If the Bible says you're to be one flesh, you know, how would you like it if your wife was calling you, you know, the old ball and chain or my old man, or,

02:30

I mean, some derogatory, I mean, there are a number of derogatory terms.

02:35

I won't go through all of them. You probably have heard most of them. People do that because it's cool or, you know, you don't want to make it sound like you actually love your wife, right?

02:49

I mean, that would, that would be shocking. We started talking about this passage about loving your wives and about the whole idea a few weeks ago.

02:59

And I started when the first thing I talked about, and I've kind of re -vent my notes to include this in here, you know, about leadership.

03:07

And one of the reasons I put leadership in there is because 1st Peter, or sorry, 1st

03:12

Timothy 3 talks about the qualifications for elders, talks about ruling your household and running your household well.

03:20

And what does that mean? And so I was talking about delegating authority, about being patient, forgiving, teaching, learning, listening, being humble, putting others first, being responsible, taking responsibility.

03:32

And by the way, those are two different things. Being responsible just means having that attitude about doing things and taking responsibility means taking the blame.

03:43

When something goes wrong in your house, guess whose fault it is? It's your fault, whether you did it or not.

03:49

And making decisions. And if I get to say something about that, people think that making decisions means what?

03:58

I mean, what is if I say to the husband, you're the leader, therefore you need to make decisions.

04:04

What do some husbands take that to mean? Dictatorship. I have to make all the decisions.

04:12

And by the way, when I speak, yeah, you better listen. In fact,

04:21

I've even heard this, this fascinates me. I don't have this in my notes, so this is for free.

04:30

How about this concept? A wife needing to be disciplined.

04:38

She misbehaved. I had to discipline her. What? I've heard this and I've heard this from women as well.

04:50

And it seems almost like when you get married, you get what? A child.

04:59

And I thought when I hear that or when I read that, I've read that a few times on Facebook. I have to sort of shake the kinks out because I don't really identify that with anything biblical.

05:14

That idea is, is my wife my equal or not? And if she is, then why would

05:22

I discipline her? Let's go back to just the idea of decision -making though. In order to make good decisions, what should somebody do?

05:35

Okay, seek counsel. Good. Why do you want to seek counsel? Okay, because there's wisdom in a multitude of counselors.

05:48

And you know what? Here's a little secret for all the husbands watching on the internet because they're not here today.

05:57

I'm looking at you. Husbands, brace yourselves, don't know everything.

06:08

Well, when Dave recovers, we'll continue the class. In order to make good decisions, it takes counsel.

06:22

It takes kind of different perspectives. Sometimes it might take a little time.

06:29

There's nothing wrong with the old pluses and minuses on a sheet of paper, all that kind of stuff. But you want to make good decisions.

06:36

And the best decisions, generally speaking, come when you and your wife are on the same page, the same sheet of music, to use another analogy.

06:47

These are important things, and you want to make sure that you do them right. And you want to treat your wife as an equal, and you want to include her in the decision -making.

06:58

Now, does that mean that... Yeah, Dave, go ahead, because Sharon's not here, so we can talk freely.

07:03

They can be, right? I mean, if you haven't set the appropriate expectations for things,

07:11

I mean, have you ever told your child to do something, and they didn't do it right, and then you looked at what they did and thought,

07:23

I didn't give them enough instruction? I mean, it could be they were disobedient, right? Or it could be that the instruction wasn't...

07:30

The parameters that you set for the mission were not clear enough to make sure that things got done the way you wanted them to be done, right?

07:42

And so as you look at what they did, even though it wasn't what you wanted, you go, well, given the instructions

07:48

I gave them, okay, you know, it fits there. So then that's my fault.

07:56

It was their responsibility to do the job, but it was my fault, my responsibility for not giving them adequate direction.

08:04

So... Yes, sometimes they're the same, and sometimes they're not. So blame and responsibility can be the same and aren't necessarily the same.

08:13

Good question, though. Okay, we've talked about equality.

08:25

Let's get back to where we were. We were talking about leaving and cleaving last week, and we closed with this quote from one of our...

08:36

I solicited from some of the ladies emails about their husbands, and I like this one.

08:42

I like all the ones I quote. So I didn't get to all the quotes because then I could have just done a whole class of quotes.

08:49

I don't know if that would have worked or not, but I like this one. My husband, after many years of being together, still makes sure to make me feel like the most important person to him through texts.

09:00

Again, I don't understand that, but okay. It sure does make me feel that way, just as I think my day is getting tough, he sends me an encouraging message.

09:14

It's the little things that count, but ultimately his favorite thing to do is to read the Word together.

09:20

I just like... I like the fact that he's thinking of her, that he's messaging her, and that she values that.

09:26

I think those are good things. Now, moving on in terms of topic, what does it mean when the

09:32

Bible says husbands are to love their wives? We talked about this a little bit. What happens if you don't feel like you can?

09:40

One wife said this about her husband in the ways that he shows that he loves his wife. Write these down, men.

09:48

He kills spiders for me. She says,

09:53

I greatly dislike spiders. He provides well for me and our family and encourages me to pursue things

10:02

I'm interested in. Those are two interesting things. One is, you know, a lot of us,

10:08

I mean, maybe the previous generation, but I think this still happens today.

10:14

Men presume that love means I bring home a paycheck. There's more to it than that, but I like the second thing she says there, encourages me to pursue things

10:27

I'm interested in. In other words, he's thinking about her as an individual.

10:35

It doesn't say here that he encourages me to pursue things that he's interested in.

10:42

You ever try that as a husband? I have. Sometimes it goes well, sometimes not so well.

10:51

She goes on, he is generous. He sets a good example for me to be generous and to know the

10:57

Lord will provide for all our needs. No need to be stingy. He patiently listens to me when

11:06

I'm frustrated and need to voice that frustration, even when he probably thinks

11:12

I'm being oversensitive and silly. He puts my desires and wants before his own, just being happy to see me enjoying things and being happy.

11:26

Sorry. He often knows what contentment is, providing a good example for me since I struggle with that.

11:35

I think those are very helpful. Okay, let's read Ephesians 5, 25 to 32.

11:45

Ephesians 5, 25 to 32. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word so that he might present the church to himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing that she might be holy and without blemish.

12:22

In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it just as Christ does the church because we are members of his body.

12:41

Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast or cleave to his wife and the two shall become one flesh.

12:51

This mystery is profound and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

12:59

So this was allegedly the focus of my class here and we're getting around to it on week three.

13:06

Okay, doesn't make me a bad guy. Commentator O 'Brien said this, he said although the husband's headship was mentioned in the section addressed to his wife verses 22 to 24 about her submitting,

13:22

Paul does not hear or elsewhere for that matter exhort husbands to rule over their wives.

13:29

They are nowhere told exercise your headship. Instead, they are urged repeatedly to love their wives.

13:40

That's in verses 25, 28 and 33. Why is that? Why is it that men are not encouraged to exercise dominion?

13:50

Make sure your wife is submitting to or to, you know, rule over their wives.

13:55

Why aren't they told to do that over and over again instead of love your wives? Why do you suppose that is?

14:03

Okay, the Bible doesn't usually exhort us to do things that our sinful flesh would do anyway. Yes.

14:09

Okay, so a wife being loved would want to or desire to submit to her husband.

14:15

Yes, Janet. Yes, and I wish you'd quit looking ahead of my notes.

14:24

I don't even tell her what I'm doing, you know, she just, she just kind of knows we've been married so long, she doesn't even need to look at my notes.

14:35

Other thoughts? Yes, it's 100 % a choice that she makes.

14:41

I've, you know, sometimes we'll have the idea, husbands will have the idea that well, she's not being, she's not submitting to me, so I need to ensure that she's submitting to me.

14:56

When I hear that kind of thinking, what do you suppose I say? Good job, way to go.

15:04

Or, you know what, here, let's put the shoe on the other foot. Every time you're not loving your wife like Christ loves the church, would you like her to say, excuse me,

15:16

Steve, you're not being loving at this moment, you know, I need to confront you about your lack of love for me.

15:26

We probably wouldn't get much else done in my house, so I'm thankful it's not like that.

15:33

O 'Brien says this, he says, each husband showing unceasing care and loving service for his wife's entire well -being, that's what it means to love our wives.

15:43

Elsewhere in both the Old and New Testaments, the command to love demands the total response of those addressed.

15:50

Here too, husbands are to respond wholeheartedly to the apostolic injunction. Their love, as a result, will involve an act of the will and is not simply an emotional or physical response.

16:05

In other words, it's a decision that a man makes to love his wife. Well, I don't feel like, we talked about that before,

16:13

I don't feel like loving my wife. The Bible doesn't anticipate that you're going to feel that way, right?

16:19

I tell people when they get married that they should really enjoy, you know, the honeymoon and all that, and I encourage that.

16:31

And, you know, so I'll see newlyweds and I usually say something like, Daniel, how's marriage? And Daniel will say, great.

16:39

And if, you know, somebody's been married for a couple months and they come in and they go, you know, it's not bad, then

16:46

I'm concerned because I should hear, great, wonderful, the best,

16:51

I love it, wouldn't have any other way for somewhere between 15 and 24 months or plus or minus.

17:00

And then one day what happens? A husband or a wife suddenly discovers that they're really married to a sinner.

17:10

You know, the socks landing on the floor that were so cute for the first 15, 18 months or whatever, is not cute anymore.

17:20

You know, the toilet seat up in the middle of the night is not funny anymore. You know, these kinds of things just kind of creep into a marriage.

17:27

And finally, you know, one Sunday morning, the bedraggled husband walks in and goes, you know, things are going okay.

17:34

We're getting along. It's work. And it's an act of, if I don't feel like loving my wife, where's the problem?

17:45

The problem isn't with her, right? The Bible never says, husbands love your wives when she is lovable, when she is lovely, when she's doing what you want.

17:59

It says, husbands love your wives, unconditionally. And there's the problem.

18:06

We don't do really well at that. O 'Brien goes on to say, physical and emotional actions are not excluded.

18:17

It would be an odd sort of marriage in which the husband did not express and demonstrate both emotional and physical love.

18:24

In other words, you are encouraged to say, I love you and to hug, et cetera.

18:31

You know, sometimes my wife will say to me, you haven't hugged me today. She might say that now.

18:41

I take that as kind of a challenge. I like to hug her. I like to do the things that she likes. Why? Because that's my job.

18:55

I like that. I mean, I like it. I think it was earlier, you know, the other wife talking about her husband.

19:04

I like it when my wife likes me. And so why do I, that's obvious, right?

19:09

I like her to like me. And so therefore, I do the things that she likes. Does that make sense?

19:16

I do things that my wife doesn't like and she doesn't like me. That's weird. No, it's not.

19:24

No, it's not. I mean, imagine this. Sometimes when people give me the whole, I don't love my wife anymore.

19:30

I don't love my husband anymore. It's usually, I'm usually talking to husbands, but I'll say, well, what did you guys do when you were dating?

19:41

Did you treat her like that when you were dating? Well, no, but that was different. We should be constantly trying to,

19:52

I don't want to say rewind her, but it's that kind of giving her affection in the way she wants affection so that she gives us affection back, right?

20:05

I mean, it's kind of, it's kind of duh. Why wouldn't you do that? But people don't.

20:16

Here's another testimonial from a wife, two significant ways.

20:22

And then I, I'm smiling because I put asterisk all through his name. Two, because I don't want to read anybody's name.

20:29

I'm keeping everybody anonymous. Two significant ways that so -and -so, my husband has always loved me is by number one, ask me how

20:37

I'm doing and actually sitting around to listen to the answer. I mean, rather than that, how are you doing?

20:45

See you walking out the door and then follow up with other questions.

20:51

Now, what are the follow -up with other questions? What does that indicate? He listened.

20:59

She says, this has been a work in progress, but he's doing a great job. I mean, we are like, you know, pretty stupid, but we're trainable.

21:07

Husbands are, I mean, we, we obviously can get from there that women like to be listened to.

21:14

Here's the second thing she says about him. She says, well, there's another thing, but he's a great confidence, confidant, and always willing to listen and offer advice and listen if needed.

21:27

What does that mean? By the way, offer advice if needed. Is there a clue there?

21:34

I mean, sometimes I, like the other wife said, ladies like to do something and it's called venting.

21:43

And, you know, over the years, I mean, I can remember when we were younger and she would start, you know, on something and I would be like,

21:50

I could hardly wait to get till she would stop talking. And sometimes I'd interrupt to give her the solution to the problem.

21:56

And she'd get mad at me. And I thought, well, maybe that's not the correct solution.

22:02

So then I would come up with another solution. I mean, the ladies are laughing.

22:11

Why? Because they've all been through this, right? They, they know the deal. The second thing she, she noted is this, and knowing my personal interests and encouraging me to pursue hobbies, even though they may be in smaller ways, because she's busy with other things, kids and whatnot.

22:34

She says, he knows that I love being a mom and teaching our children, but he appreciates that my identity is not grounded in that role.

22:44

In other words, and I know this is hard for some husbands to accept, but sometimes women want to be more than a mom and a wife.

22:56

They have other things that they want to pursue. And so this wife is saying, I like that, you know, he's not limiting me.

23:04

He's not trying to control me. O 'Brien says this, he says, talking about husbands, loving their wives.

23:12

He says, if they heed this apostolic injunction, husbands will not behave in an overbearing manner.

23:20

All areas of married life will be characterized by this self giving love and forgiveness. The original order of the creator, which was troubled by the rule of sin and self -centeredness, and which ended in the tyranny of eros, eros, sexual love, and the slavery of sex can be lived in love and forgiveness.

23:45

Another wife, another testimonial, she says, he has always offered opportunities for me to have continuing education or ministry opportunities, or even just enjoy fellowship with a younger woman from church.

24:00

So, you know, is it good for a husband to encourage his wife to have friendships and to minister to the body of Christ?

24:08

Or, I mean, you know, let's put it this way. Should a husband isolate his wife?

24:14

Should he prevent her from ministering to the body? And obviously the answer would be no. So why wouldn't we encourage our wives to exercise their giftedness within the body of Christ?

24:28

Now we get to what Janet was talking about earlier, only we're going to quote, instead of my wife, R. Kent Hughes, talking about the world in which

24:37

Ephesians was written. Going back in our time a couple thousand years,

24:45

R. Kent Hughes writes this, he says, Demosthenes, who was Greek, Greek philosopher, said this, we have courtesans, prostitutes, for the sake of pleasure.

25:00

We have concubines for the sake of daily cohabitation. We have wives for the purpose of having children legitimately and of having a faithful guardian for all our household affairs.

25:21

That is not the culture we live in. That's the culture then, that's the culture that this was written into.

25:29

And he's encouraging husbands in that culture to love their wives as Christ loved the church.

25:36

Another Greek, Xenophon, said this, it was the husband's aim that a wife might see as little as possible, hear as little as possible, and ask as little as possible.

25:49

Socrates said, is there anyone to whom you would entrust more serious matters than to your wife?

25:55

And is there anyone to whom you talk less? That doesn't paint a glorious picture of marriage, does it?

26:08

Hughes goes on, he says, the ancient pagan man breathed adultery. The marriage bond was virtually meaningless.

26:15

It was better with the Jews, of course, except that the ultra -liberal and very popular school of Hillel allowed a man to divorce his wife for virtually anything, like putting too much salt in his food or becoming less attractive in his eyes.

26:31

So Paul's radical call to marital love was a bare -knuckled swing, Hughes says, at the domestic ethics of his time, much as it is today.

26:43

So when I started this morning talking about how secular husbands or husbands in the secular workplace talk about their wives, the old ball and chain, the whatever they call her, you know, she's the drag on my life kind of thing.

27:01

This echoes, I think, the culture of a couple thousand years ago. Wives were not equals.

27:09

They were not treated as equals. They were treated basically as problems.

27:17

I mean, like the way the one man, Socrates, talked about his wife.

27:25

You know, you trust her with serious matters, but you don't talk to her, essentially. I mean, this is like, this is very unchristian.

27:36

It's wrong. Hughes goes on to say, lastly, a husband who loves his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her will be ever faithful to her.

27:46

One thing the church can count on is the fidelity of the bridegroom. I mean, the concept of Jesus not being devoted or not being faithful to the church is absurd.

27:58

We can't even picture it. And this is the one thing

28:04

Hughes goes on, a wife whose husband loves like Christ can rest on.

28:11

Jeremy Taylor, the great 17th century preacher in his sermon, The Marriage Ring, or The Mysteriousness and Duties of Marriage, gave this charge regarding fidelity.

28:21

Above all, let him, the groom, preserve towards her an inviolable faith and an unspotted chastity, for this is the marriage ring.

28:31

It ties two hearts by an eternal band. It is like the cherubim's flaming sword set for the guard of paradise.

28:41

Chastity is the security of love and preserves all the mysteriousness, like the secrets of a temple.

28:48

Under this lock is deposited security of families, the union of affections, and the repairer of accidental breaches.

28:59

This is how men are to view their wives as their singular, not just confidants, not just ally, but single sexual partner.

29:14

O 'Brien goes on to describe that the relationship between a husband and wife this way says, the model and ground of the husband's love for his wife and Christ's love for the church, the character and description of that love are amplified in the following clause, and gave himself up for her.

29:35

The verb is to give over or gave over, and it stresses the fact that Jesus Christ took the initiative in handing himself over to death.

29:46

He went to the cross as the willing victim, and this action on behalf of his people was the supreme demonstration of his love for them.

29:55

And this love is to be modeled by husbands. There was a time when in our society, if we just think about the idea of self -sacrifice, physical self -sacrifice, there was a time in our culture where men would, you know, it was, you know, even think about the

30:18

Titanic. Who's going to go in the lifeboats? And it would be women and children first.

30:26

Why is that? Are the women and children more valuable than the men?

30:35

No. But a man's sense of chivalry, his sense of honor, his sense of self -sacrifice, his willingness to put others before himself, that's what makes him a man, at least in a

30:57

Christian worldview. Now, what do you see? Not so much.

31:08

O 'Brien says this, Paul proceeds to spell out the goal of Christ's sacrificial love for the church by the means of three purpose clauses that he might sanctify her, present her to himself in splendor, and enable her to be holy and blameless.

31:27

Now, let's just talk about those three verbs for just a second here. Gave himself up for her.

31:34

How can husbands do this? How can husbands give themselves up for their wives?

31:42

What does that mean, Anthony?

31:55

Okay, putting them first. So, what's a practical example of putting your wife first?

32:06

She gets to go first through the food line. Good. No, seriously, what's a good example of that?

32:18

Okay, doing what she wants to do instead of what you want to do. That would be one thing. Okay, so it could be as simple as, you know, the things that as a single guy

32:41

I used to do, I no longer do. Why? Because she's not going to, you know, be comfortable with that or it doesn't really seem appropriate if I'm going to put her first, you know, like go for week -long treks in the

32:58

Rocky Mountains or something like that alone. And she's like, I wish you wouldn't leave me for a week. Okay, well, then

33:03

I'll stay home. It's not the end of the world. I can do that when I get to heaven. Yes.

33:13

Okay, used to golf a lot. Okay, now that's very practical. It's very practical because he says, you know, you work all week and if you throw in, especially, you know, you wouldn't know this because you don't live in LA, but if you live in LA, you throw in the commute on top of the 40 -hour work week, throw in lunch and, you know, a couple of hours of driving and that's pretty much a 12 -hour day, believe it or not.

33:41

And so you get home and you do a couple of things and then it's time to go to bed and you rinse and repeat and you do it all over again and then you go out golfing on Saturday.

33:50

You have a nice four or five hours there plus, you know, whatever else you do there, eating lunch, what have you.

33:59

And you get home and maybe there's not a whole lot left on the day and then

34:06

Sunday comes around and she's just like, you know, I'd like to have a little bit of time for us.

34:12

I'd like you to spend a little time with the kids. Well, yeah, you know, golf. I mean, my priorities are not your priorities.

34:22

You know, sometimes I'll just say to my wife, my ways are not your ways. So that's a very practical way of putting your wife first, right?

34:39

Okay, I know what I want, but is what I want what's best for our family and best for our marriage?

34:47

And the answer sometimes is no. You know, does that mean you could never go golfing again?

34:52

No, I'm not suggesting that, you know, nobody's suggesting that, but it might be nice if, you know, instead of every week going golfing, you know, when it's not frozen in the tundra of New England, maybe you could go, you know, every so often, but maybe you only go for nine holes instead of 18 or, you know, you just find ways to accommodate.

35:16

You start your golf at six o 'clock in the morning, you know, but the idea is to put the needs of others before your for your own desires, right?

35:30

Other thoughts, practical ways, practical things. I mean, is there anything?

35:36

Yes, Pastor Mike, it very much is. It's a very um, getting up every day, going to work, providing for the family is not only a command, but it's also a very good thing, a very noble thing.

35:53

And it's certainly a giving up of yourself. I mean, how many guys would like to just not have to go to work less?

36:01

Yes. Yeah. I mean, I don't even know, you know, there's this whole concept.

36:07

I could, I could do a whole thing on this. So let's just talk about it for a minute. There's this whole concept. If you like, if you love what you do for a living, then you never what work a day in your life.

36:20

And I listened to that and I'm going, well, that's true. But if what you love doesn't pay the bills, who cares?

36:29

Right. I mean, has anybody ever had a job that they hated? I mean, it pretty much made me the worst cop in the world sometimes because I'm just like,

36:42

I don't like this job, right? I just don't like it. Okay.

36:49

That's why they call it work, Steve, buck up. But enough of the advice my wife gave me.

36:55

So, uh, sorry.

37:03

Yeah. It's why they call it work, right? You're gonna, you're gonna have to sweat a little bit. I mean,

37:08

I think it's great when people say, well, I love what I do and I make, you know, hundreds of thousands of dollars. Awesome.

37:14

Good for you. But if you don't like what you do and it pays the bills good, you know, sometimes it's even things like, well,

37:26

I can take this job and make more money, or I could take this job and we'll have better hours.

37:31

And maybe we'll have better, you know, fringe benefits and we'll have, you know, medical insurance, all that kind of stuff.

37:38

Well, what should you do if it's just you by yourself? And maybe you don't care if you wind up in an iron lung and can't pay for it, then, then take the money.

37:49

Right. But if you have a family and you have responsibilities and you have to think, okay, I have to, I have to consider the overall package.

37:56

You're not just you. You have to think about your wife and your family before yourself.

38:03

Other thoughts before we move on. Okay. Let's talk about,

38:10

I mean, when you say, or when the Bible says gave himself up for her, certainly there's a physical aspect, but when it says sanctify her and cleansed her, you know,

38:22

I couldn't help but think because he, Christ is going to present his bride to himself spotless without any wrinkle.

38:30

Now, what does he mean? He doesn't mean, you know, some 20 year old girl, what's he talking about? What's the

38:35

Bible talking about? It's talking about her, the church's spiritual condition, right?

38:44

So if we're to take that idea and apply it to our wives, how can we spiritually protect our wives?

38:52

What does that look like? Janet? Okay.

39:05

I like when she's reading my notes, choosing, choosing a good church is, is great.

39:12

I mean, what does it say about you that you're like, well, let's just go to this place.

39:18

We'll move there. Well, where are we going to go to church ad doesn't matter. We'll figure it out when we get there.

39:24

You ever heard anybody say it doesn't matter. We'll, we'll figure it out when we get there. I'm sure there's a good church there. I mean, we've had friends of ours move.

39:32

They moved from California to, you know, what, what they called then before they moved, they called it the buckle of the

39:39

Bible belt, right? And so they lived in the buckle of the Bible belt for a couple of years, and then they bounced back to California.

39:48

Oh, why'd you guys move back? Because we couldn't find a church.

39:56

There are lots of churches, but there was no church there that would actually preach the

40:01

Bible. So it's not as easy as it seems sometimes.

40:08

So choosing a church is definitely part of that. What else, what else would involve, would be involved in spiritual protection?

40:21

Yes, Sharon. Okay. Correcting wrong thinking. Now that could be a little touchy, right?

40:29

Honey, let me tell you what's wrong with your thinking. Yeah. Yeah, it is.

40:40

I'm looking at Dave and I, you know, my, my respect for Dave is increasing by the moment. Go ahead, Sharon. Yeah.

40:51

Yeah. Let her say it. Okay. I mean,

41:03

I think that's true. I think that's true for all of us, but maybe we should just ask Dave, Dave, how do you, how do you help sort things out?

41:11

Do you just go, well, that's really dumb, Sharon. See that, that's really good.

41:18

And I'm glad you said it that way. It, you know, asking questions and, you know, sometimes it's kind of like, you know, you're, you're almost like, you know, it's like, we, we like to watch murder mysteries because it's just how we, we are, you know, we have to make sure we've got our law and order training up to snuff and, uh, asking questions in a way where your, your wife eventually discovers the reality for herself, right?

41:47

You're already thinking this, but if you come out with the thought first, I don't know how to break this to you guys, but sometimes if you're the discoverer of the, the error in her thinking, sometimes you're going to find yourself in an argument.

42:04

You're just like, how did I get in this argument? She's wrong and I'm right. And she's arguing with me.

42:12

Ever been there? I mean, I never have. I've just, I've heard other people talk about this experience, but sometimes if you ask questions, like Dave said, if you ask questions and she starts answering and thinking about it and mulling it over and walking through the logical implications of her statements, then she goes, wait a minute, wait,

42:35

I'm wrong on this. Aren't I? Hmm. Let me think.

42:43

You know what? Now that I think about it, I believe you are. She can't argue with that.

42:49

Right. I mean, it's, it's so much better if she can sort it out for herself. I agree with that.

42:57

How about this one for spiritual protection? How about not leading her into sin?

43:04

Is it possible for a husband to lead a wife into sin? I think so.

43:11

I mean, is it possible for a wife to lead a husband to sin? Well, you know, let's ask Adam and Eve, but the reverse can be true too.

43:23

And thinking about her spiritual good involves thinking, you know what? If my thinking is bad, maybe

43:29

I should just keep my mouth shut and repent rather than dragging her into it too. Like, yeah, just a sec.

43:39

I like what one wife said. She said, I can't even remember the last time he complained another way. He sets a good example for me, right?

43:46

Saying a good example. Where's that Steve from? Was that the balcony? Yes. Good. I think that's excellent.

43:51

You know, sometimes there are situations in which a confrontation with a worldly entity, be at the school or even, you know, it could be some company that you're having to deal with, you know, that's, it's going to be adversarial.

44:07

It's good for the man to say, you know what? I'll do this. I'll, shield you from this.

44:14

Now there are, there are certainly things. I mean, we just small, small things, you know,

44:21

I mean, there are things that I, I would rather that Janet do herself.

44:29

But certainly if I think she's going to get blasted by somebody on the phone or blasted by somebody in person, or even confronted by somebody in person,

44:39

I would rather either be there to support her or be there to just kind of say, you know what?

44:45

I've got this, I'll do this. And, you know, there are times where she'll even say to me, this isn't really me bragging because I'm kind of a dope, but she'll say,

44:57

I'm glad you did that. Right. I'm glad you took care of that so that I didn't have to.

45:05

So yeah, I think that's excellent. I think those are the kinds of things that we can definitely do to protect our wives.

45:14

Other thoughts before we close? Okay. We will pick up next week about loving wives as their own bodies.

45:27

Let's pray. Father, your word is filled with truth.

45:38

It's filled with excellent truths and really timeless advice.

45:44

Often advice that goes or commands that go counter to what the culture, what the world said 2000 years ago, counter to what the world says today.

45:57

But father, these things are timeless, not because the culture changes, but because you don't change because your principles don't change because your word does not change.

46:12

You know, us, you're intimately acquainted with us. You know what we don't want to do, what we do want to do, what we should do, what we should not do.

46:22

You know, what's best for us. You wrote as it were the owner's manual, make us better students of it.

46:28

Help us to live it out. Father, let us heed your spirit. As we read through these things, as we think through these things, help us to have a spirit that listens to the

46:42

Holy Spirit, that listens for those alarm bells, as it were, that we might better heed your spirit, heed your word.