Smooth AD Takes a Trip Through Absurd 2020

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#NoDespair2020

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00:05
Hey there, Smooth AD Robles here. I just thought it was Friday and maybe we should just have an easier time in our video today.
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Maybe we'll just have a little bit more smoothness, baby. That's what I'm talking about because the AD Robles YouTube channel, despite what you may have heard from members of Big Eva or maybe your friends or anything like that or maybe feminists of various stripes.
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The AD Robles YouTube channel is all about love and I want to spread the love. And so what I thought I'd do today is just take a stroll through social media and comment as Smooth AD.
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What actually got me to think about this and possibly doing this as a video today, or at least one of my videos today, was this tweet here.
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It's not a tweet, actually. It's from Facebook. I have a hard time distinguishing between the two at this point. Most essentially the same thing.
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But it's a screenshot from a news report in Pennsylvania and it's about the
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Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board regulations regarding coronavirus, that rona, that's right, baby.
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This made me laugh because they've got all these conflicting rules, right?
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It's like, well, the restaurants are open, but the bars can't be open and maybe you could order a drink at a restaurant, but they don't want to have you ordering too many drinks because that would defeat the purpose of closing down the bars and stuff like that.
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So they've got to come up with these convoluted, weird sort of systems to define everything. I find this quite hilarious and it's a good example of, you know, the absurdity, the absolute absurdity, baby, of rejecting
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God's law. You see, God's law is perfect, right? God's law is good and we've got a big book of law, but relatively speaking, it's actually a small book of law because the
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Lord gives the government only very limited authority over your life and he gives the church authority over your life and he also gives you authority over your life and we don't want to mix up and neglect the different spheres of authority and all that kind of thing, but here's the government trying to play daddy for you.
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The government wants to let you know how to stay healthy and we don't really need the government for that kind of thing.
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In fact, it's not part of what the government ought to be doing and so here's what happens. When you reject
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God's law, you get this kind of micromanagement and nobody likes a micromanager but here's the rules, here's the very convoluted and safe rules for the coronavirus and restaurants.
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Rule number one, alcohol can only be served as part of a meal, so if you're one of these guys that likes to go out to the bar, have a few drinks, you know, knock back a few virgin daiquiris or whatever, you can't do that unless, of course, you're ordering a meal because if you're ordering a meal, the coronavirus can't get you, but if you're not ordering a meal and you just want to have a few whiskeys or something like that, well, then the coronavirus will definitely get you.
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That's pretty funny, baby, but here's the other rule, though. Hold on a second, hold on. Unless you get any funny ideas, snack foods don't count as meals, so you can't just snack on a snack and be like, give me a drink and then count it as a meal because I know there's some of you who go out to the restaurant, you like to order an appetizer, and that's your meal because especially if you're going to be drinking, a lot of people can't drink and eat a full meal at the same time.
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Their stomach feels weird. I'm one of those people. I'm one of those people. I have a hard time having a beer with a burger or something like that.
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If I want a beer, I'll usually just have a beer. I won't really eat because it's just too much. I mean, the bubble's getting bubbly in your stomach and it's just, it's no fun, baby.
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It makes you feel all weird and full and bloated, at least maybe that's just me.
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I don't know. But I am able to snack though, so sometimes I'll snack and have a beer and that's a little bit easier.
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You can snack and have a beer, but a full meal, it's a little bit difficult sometimes for me. Maybe it's just me. I don't know.
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But don't get any ideas because snacks don't count as meals. Now, you might be thinking in your head, well,
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A .D., how do you determine the difference between a snack and a meal?
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And well, they're certainly trying. I mean, just, they're certainly trying, my man.
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Listen, listen, if you get, here's a good rule of thumb from Smooth A .D.,
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I want to help you out. This channel is supposed to be helpful. And so let me give you some advice about, you can go, sure, you can go to the governor and ask him what's the difference between a snack and a meal and all that kind of thing.
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But I've got a rule of thumb for you that I think might help you. Here's the rule of thumb.
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If you even have a question as to whether something is a snack or a meal, it's a snack.
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Mark my words. Because you know what a meal is. You just know. Listen, I know it sounds kind of gnostic, but you know what a meal is.
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It's secret knowledge. You know, I can't tell you the difference between a snack and a meal like, you know, it's not like you get three beans, that's a snack.
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But if you have four beans, that's a meal. It's not really like one of those kind of things. But you know.
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And so my suggestion for you is if you're at the bar and you want to be compliant, Romans 13 and all that kind of thing.
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If you want to be compliant and you're asking yourself in your little brain of yours, is this a snack or a meal?
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Then my suggestion to you is that it is indeed a snack. Don't you dare order a drink. Don't you dare order a drink, baby.
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Now here's the other rules. Customers can't buy more drinks once the meal is finished. You can't buy more drinks.
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I know that a lot of people like to maybe they'll order a nice Sambuca. Maybe they'll have a glass of wine or something like that.
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Maybe a nice port. I don't know. But people like to have a drink after their meal, but you can't do that because the coronavirus knows that when the meal is done, that's when they attack.
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That's when the virus comes to you because ordering a drink after a meal and ordering a drink during a meal, but not a snack.
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Ordering a drink during a meal is very dangerous, but ordering a drink after a meal, wait, I got that reversed. It's not dangerous to order during a meal, not a snack, but after the meal, very dangerous.
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Don't even think about it. I know you want to hang out with your friends, but no, you just, you just go to the restaurant, you feed your face, you have your drink and then you leave.
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That's how we do this. And then there's one more rule here.
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Casinos can't provide drink services on the casino floor. So it's very safe to sit there with a bunch of sweaty people pulling that stupid thing.
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Very safe to do that. But the drinks though, no, you can't have a drink. Why would you think you could have a drink?
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I mean, I know it's, it's all the same. You're in the same room, you're gambling, you're throwing those dice, trying to get snake eyes or whatever it is, you know, that kind of thing.
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I used to like to play craps. I don't really know the rules of craps, but I like to bet on craps. And then, you know, what's cool about craps is that like a lot of times when you, when, when one person wins, everybody wins.
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That's what I like about craps. It's a very communal game. But anyway, that's not dangerous.
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But if you had a drink in your hand while you're playing craps, very dangerous. You see, you're starting to understand, you're starting to understand the rules here.
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I'm starting to understand the rules. Basically, just hop on one foot, hop on the other. Whatever we say, you got to do it.
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And Romans 13, don't you think about trying to skirt the law, baby. All right, well, let's, let's move on to Twitter.
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Let's just, let's just see some random stuff because, because, because I think it's just very helpful just to see how Smooth AD, you know, brings his winsome, loving content to Twitter just in everyday life.
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Here's Conan Gray. He says, many of you have brought to my attention my use of tan emojis.
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I apologize to anyone who was hurt by my use of emojis that you believe are too dark for me to use.
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I am mixed race and therefore I choose the emojis that I felt best represented my skin tone.
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Most of you never met me in real life and are unaware of how I look in person. I'm not pale. I'm not white.
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I'm mixed race and I was only trying to find an emoji with a skin tone that I felt most accurate to me and my background.
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These tweets were made to mock people who believe there's only two genders. I'm so sorry if it came across as the opposite.
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Oh, this is separate. This guy, this guy, Conan Gray is all mixed up. He's, he's very desperate to get the approval of the mob.
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And here's what I say, Conan, listen, you do you. Use whatever emoji you want. There's no such thing as, as black face on, on social media.
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Get real. Get real. It's all about love here. You use whatever darkness and lightness emoji you want.
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And if you want to use a white emoji one day and a dark emoji the next day, you've got my permission, baby.
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That, that's what, that's what this is all about. It's all about love, baby. This is pretty, pretty funny.
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Pretty funny. Here's, uh, here's, uh, Dr. Fauci. He threw out that pitch, uh, the first pitch of the
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Washington Nationals baseball game. And I don't know if you saw that pitch, but I felt bad for the guy. I felt bad for the guy for two reasons, because number one, he throws like a girl.
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It's no question about it, baby. That ball went this way. You know, he, he seems like he has some, some kind of muscular problem.
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I don't know. I mean, it certainly seemed like he had some kind of a spasm. Like he threw the ball. It kind of went like something like that.
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I feel bad for that. I mean, that's, he can't help it. He's got a muscular spasm. And here's the second reason
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I feel bad for him because he, because he has such a lack of self -awareness that when he was invited to throw the pitch, he was like, sure,
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I'll do it. He didn't know he couldn't throw. And that's a very tough place to be. You know, it's like, it's like when you don't think, when you think you're smarter than you are.
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And so you speak as if you're very smart, but you're not. And then you just make yourself look stupider and stupider and stupider.
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That's a very tough spot to be in. I don't, I don't mock people like that because it's, you know, cause maybe one day
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I'll be like that. Maybe I'm like that right now. I don't know. But it's very difficult to think you're super smart, but not be.
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And in Fauci's case, I'm sure he's a very smart guy, but he didn't even know he couldn't throw a ball. I mean, you know, in all honesty, my three -year -old can throw a baseball further than Dr.
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Fauci, but you know, you know, God gives different gifts to different people. You know, my three -year -old's good at throwing balls and, and Dr.
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Fauci is good at moving a ride along.
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You see this one? There's a new show, I think on Disney plus it's called, I guess it's called
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Black is King. And I don't know what it's about. I won't be watching that. That's crazy. I don't watch stupid shows like that.
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But I saw this tweet and it had some crying and some skulls and then some laughing. And it says, the race is going to be mad.
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I think they, she probably said it like that. Race is going to be mad. Big mad. You ever heard that? Big mad.
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They say that. They like to say that, the social justice warriors. They like to say, he's big mad.
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I don't know what that's supposed to mean, but whatever. Anyway, so they're going to be mad because, you know, they're the black people are here.
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And I guess this lady is black. I can't really tell. It's difficult to tell in this picture.
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But then there's a very sad looking white guy here. And I guess he might be a servant, but I'm not sure because he's wearing a weird robe or something.
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He kind of looks like a priest or almost kind of looks like the emperor. That's Emperor Palpatine over there.
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Why would a white person be mad if Emperor Palpatine is sad? Emperor Palpatine's a villain, baby.
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We don't want Emperor Palpatine to be happy. He's a monster. He hurts people.
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He enslaves Wookies. I mean, who would be sad that a person who enslaved Wookies, Chewbacca, Chewbacca and all his buddies, enslaving
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Wookies, and you're thinking, I'm going to be sad that he's sad. I'm not sad that the emperor's sad. I'm happy that the emperor's sad.
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If you asked me what I felt about the emperor being sad, I'd be like, good, you know how he did.
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That's a terrible impression, but that's how he did. I think the idea here, though, is that, I'm not sure, but this
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Black is King lady, I think the idea here is that white people are going to be mad because the white guy's the servant.
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I got to be honest. I don't think white people are going to be mad about this. I don't think they're going to be because here's the reality.
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This is a fantasy. This is a show. This is fiction. This isn't real. So, why would, let's just say this was like the avatar of white people, right?
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You're still paying Disney to watch this. I mean, many white people own Disney. There's a lot of, probably a lot of white, white stockholders of Disney, and they're going to be laughing all the way to the bank because you paid $8 a month to watch this stupid show, baby, and they're just going to be laughing at you.
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Why would anyone care that there's a white servant in a fantasy, even if you didn't want there to be white servants?
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Let's say you were a racist and you said white people shouldn't be servants or something like that. I don't know anybody who says that, but let's say you were.
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Why would they be so upset that there's a white servant in a fantasy, especially when his last name is
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Palpatine? Anyway. All right. Two more. I actually initially recorded something else that I was going to do next, but, and it was pretty good.
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It was pretty funny, but then I kind of felt bad about it. It was a, it was a, it was a guy. He was kind of like doing matrix moves to dodge coronavirus particles, and it was pretty funny.
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And, um, but, uh, at the same time, I felt kind of bad. I'll show you a clip of what
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I had recorded there. Every morsel, every particle of COVID virus. And so he's, you know, he's, whoa, he's keeping it like a surfer.
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You know what I mean? Like surfers have to balance themselves, so they put their hands up and they move their hands and that's kind of how they look.
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That's what I think he's doing, lady. You don't have to dodge it like Neo. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
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It's pretty crazy. Um, but anyway, uh, let's go back to this food thing. This is pretty funny.
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This, uh, the, the governor of Pennsylvania is not the only governor who's, uh, micromanaging your food choices.
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This is a, well, let's just listen. This is, uh, this is Como from New York. To be a bar, you had to have food available, soups, sandwiches, et cetera.
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What I especially love about this is this information is so important they had to have a translator to translate it to people who can't hear.
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And so he's translating this insane gibberish to everybody else about the soup and sandwich and the bar.
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Let's listen to it again. To be a bar, you have to have food available.
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Soups, sandwiches, etc. More than just hors d 'oeuvres, chicken wings.
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You had to have some substantive food. The lowest level of substantive food were sandwiches.
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To be a bar. So basically chicken wings don't count. Chicken wings isn't food. And I just can't,
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I won't stand for this. Chicken wings are absolutely a meal. People eat chicken wings as a meal all the time.
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The lowest, and by the way, where does he come off saying that sandwiches are the lowest form of substantive food?
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Sandwich lives matter too. Sandwich lives matter. Sandwiches, who doesn't like a good sandwich?
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What about peanuts? The peanuts can fill you up. I've been filled up on peanuts before. Pork rinds even.
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I've eaten pork rinds until I've been completely full. And so pork rinds, it's a whole meal.
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You're eating a pig. You're eating pig. And I think that should count as a meal. And a meal is from soup to nuts.
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So if soup counts, what he just said, soup counts, then why don't nuts count? It's soup to nuts.
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You see what I'm saying? And what if I want to wake up and have a donut for breakfast? Does a donut count?
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What about other kinds of pastries? Sometimes I eat pastries for a meal. I mean, I'm an adult.
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I can do what I want, right? Guess not. Well, when you're a liberal, I mean, nobody's really an adult except for your overlords,
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I guess. But one more thing, one more thing. You guys see this one? The Washington Redskins have changed their name, but they couldn't decide what to name their team.
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So this year, they're going to be called Washington Football Team. The Washington Football Team.
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So they were very proud of this. I mean, you can see their tweets there. This is the official Washington Football Team channel or tweet,
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Twitter feed, Twitter account or whatever. And you can see that they're trying to make this so cool, signed, sealed, delivered.
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Signed, sealed, delivered. This is it. Here it is. We're the Washington Football Team. They got the same colors and everything, and you can even see the pin tweet.
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It begins here. And I don't know if what they're really thinking, but yes, it does begin here.
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The jokes, the endless, merciless memeing and joking and all that kind of stuff on the
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Washington Football Team begins here. It has been signed, sealed, and delivered. I can't wait to see what 4chan and Reddit comes up with.
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You know what I'm saying? Washington Football Team, man, this is another level, baby. But by the way, many people have noticed that Washington is not without its own problems.
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I mean, Washington owns slaves, and so you went from one sin to the next sin. I mean, you can't just call your team
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Washington. I mean, Washington is problematic, baby. This country was built upon the backs of slavery.
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What you should do is name your football, maybe Beijing Football Team. Yeah, Beijing Football Team.
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That would probably work. Or maybe Wuhan Football Team, something like that. I don't know.
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Anyway, I hope you find this video funny and helpful, and well,