WIVES SUBMIT TO HUSBANDS (Eph 5:22-24)

Welcome, welcome to the Lord's Day gathering. And I wanna say a special welcome to all the mothers in the room.

Happy Mother's Day. You are a blessing to us. We're grateful for the loving and sacrificial service of all of the mothers in our lives.

And we're encouraged to see, honestly, that instead of today's well -deserved day of relaxation and pampering, which, by the way, husbands in the rooms and kids, let's make sure to make that happen this week for our mothers in appreciation.

But instead of that, you mothers value the fact that this day is first and foremost the

Lord's Day. We can celebrate our mothers. We can celebrate them and honor them as we should.

But we honor those of you in this room today that are here and show that this is the

Lord's Day. And so you're here to worship. That continued selflessness and service prods all of us on to love and good works more and more as you continue to serve in the way that God has designed you.

So thank you very, very much. Before we get started, we actually have a few announcements today.

As you can see, Christ is growing his church here. We have a number of families out today.

A lot of people contacted me this week and said, hey, we're going to see our mom. We're gonna go worship with them.

And I said, I understand. So we're missing quite a few of our core today, but as you can see,

God is still growing this church and we are praying for him to raise up more shepherds to shepherd this flock, more men that can come alongside as elders.

So we would like to open an invite now to any man who believes that he meets the qualifications in scripture, is already a covenant member and desires this particular office.

We are inviting you to begin the process of eldership training. Pastor Jeremiah has already gone through it.

Pastor Keith has gone through this process. It is extensive. This is a minimum of a two -year training process.

It is extensive and is extremely rigorous. We take this office very seriously, of course.

And if you're interested, please come and talk with one of us elders, either

Keith, Jeremiah, or myself, and we can begin that process. But we truly are praying for God to raise up more people.

As we continue to grow, there are more shepherding opportunities and we believe Christ is going to provide as we continue to grow.

So please come talk with us if that's something you might be interested in. We're also accepting deacon nominees.

If there is a man in this church that you believe is of exceptional service, is already serving as he ought to in the church and giving of himself and sacrificing through physical needs of the body, then, and he obviously meets the biblical qualifications, you can nominate that man or men that you see fit by emailing us at info at 12fivechurch .com.

So send us an email at info at 12fivechurch .com with that name or names so that we can go and talk with that gentleman.

Also in that email, give us a little short bit as to why you believe they should be nominated.

We have three amazing deacons right now, but again, as the church grows, there are more needs and we want to see

God raise them up. Next, we've been announcing the past couple of weeks a membership class.

If you are interested in learning more about what it means to be a covenant member of a body like this, in particular this body, find out why we do the things that we do, why we believe the things that we believe.

It's a four -week class, and that is starting Wednesday night at 6 .30, starting

May 22nd. So every Wednesday for four weeks, starting May 22nd at 6 .30,

we will be meeting here. If you would like to know more about what this church believes, come and be a part of that membership class.

That is the very first step in becoming a covenant member here. And then lastly, we have our midweek doctrinal training.

And systematic theology is nearing an end, amen? It feels like we've been in systematic theology for quite some time, and we actually only have about five more weeks of that on Wednesday nights.

And so starting July 3rd, Wednesday night at 6 .30, we will be beginning a 12 -week course on what's known as the doctrines of grace.

And if you would like to know more about this particular doctrine, it's going to be a fairly in -depth study, and curriculum will be provided.

And so like I said, our midweek, our Wednesday nights, is our time to do in -depth doctrinal training.

And so we would love for you all to come and be a part of that, even if you're not a member and you wanna come learn about that particular doctrine.

Come, if you've got friends that wanna know more theology and they're just not being trained at their church, then invite them on Wednesday nights.

They can come and be a part of it. So before we get started with our worship, we always like to what?

Pray for a local church. You did know, okay. We're gonna pray this morning for Needham Baptist.

We would like to pray for the saints that are gathered there this morning and pray that God would be honored in their worship before we officially begin our time.

So if you wouldn't mind, bow with me. Let's pray for this church. Dear Heavenly Father, Lord, we come before you this morning and we thank you.

We thank you for your grace and provision in our lives, but we also thank you for the grace and provision of other saints.

Lord, we thank you for our brothers and sisters that are at Needham Baptist this morning. God, I pray that the saints that are there, that they would truly desire to hear your word in full.

That whoever is preaching this morning would realize that their job is but to exegete the text before them, to show the saints what the word of God says, not what they say, not opinion, not a distorted version of the words, but truly honoring to you, and that you would use that to mold the hearts and minds of your saints there, that they could grow into a healthy congregation of saints that love

Christ and serve him in kingdom purpose. Lord, we thank you for them.

We pray you bless them. We pray you grow them. We pray that you bring about revival in their midst. In Christ's name, amen, amen.

If you would stand with me for our call to worship this morning, which is the 146th psalm, where the psalmist says, "'Put not your trust in princes, praise the

Lord.'" He says, "'I will,' I'm sorry, go back. I just read the beginning there, there you go.

"'I will praise the Lord as long as I live. "'Put not your trust in princes.'

"'When his breath departs, he returns to the earth. "'Blessed is he whose help is the

God of Jacob, "'whose hope is in the Lord, his God. "'The sea and all that is in them, who keeps forth forever.

"'The Lord sets the prisoners free. "'The

Lord lifts up those who are bowed down. "'The

Lord will reign forever.'" And all

God's people said, "'Praise the Lord.'" Amen, amen. Well, let's go to the Lord in a prayer of adoration before we begin to sing praise to our great

God. Oh Lord, we bow once again before you and we thank you for who you are.

You truly reign forever. Lord, your love is one of righteousness because you are love and you are righteous.

God, you are the God of Zion. You are the God of all generations.

And we desire to praise you this morning because you and you alone are worthy of praise.

But we know that you are the one that lifts up those that are bowed down, that are humbled before you, that know who you are, that you and you alone are

God. And you have opened our eyes, God. You have set the prisoners free.

You are good and gracious and merciful in all your ways. And we thank you.

We thank you for being the great and merciful, kind and good God that you are and that we get to come before you and call you

Father this morning because of our adoption through Christ and the guarantee of that inheritance through the sealing of the

Holy Spirit within each one of us that is in Christ today. We thank you. We come before you boldly in the righteousness of Christ and Christ alone.

Amen. All right, amen. We're gonna sing this song,

Great Things. Let's talk about all the awesome things that God has done for us.

And what he's gonna do. Let's lift our voices and let's sing out his worship. Come, let us worship our king.

Come, let us bow at his feet. He has done great things for us.

He has done great things, yes. See what our savior has done.

See how his love overcomes. He has done great things.

He has done great things. Oh, hero of heaven, you conquer the grave.

You free every captive and break every jade. Oh, God, you have done great things.

We dance in your freedom, awake and alive. Always our savior, your name lifted high.

Oh, God, you have done great things. Yes, and you've been faithful through every storm.

You've been faithful through every storm. You'll be faithful forevermore.

You have done great things. And I know you will do it again.

For your promise is yes and amen. You will do great things.

God, you do great things. Oh, hero. Oh, hero of heaven, you conquer the grave.

You free every captive and break every jade. Oh, God, you have done great things.

We dance in your freedom, awake and alive. Jesus, our savior, your name lifted high.

Oh, God, you have done great things.

Yes. Sing hallelujah. Hallelujah, God. Above it all, hallelujah,

God. Unshakable. Hallelujah, you have done great things.

You've done great things. Sing it again. And hallelujah,

God. Above it all, hallelujah, God.

Unshakable. Hallelujah, you have done great things.

You've done great things. Oh, hero of heaven, you conquer the grave.

You free every captive and break every jade. Oh, God, you have done great things.

We dance in your freedom, awake and alive. Oh, Jesus, our savior, your name lifted high.

Oh, God, you have done great things.

Yes, amen. He has done great things. Awesome. Come on.

Is this that Christ would die for me?

His goodness, his merit, his righteousness, the sinner's only plea.

Oh, foolish pride, be crucified. Your work is finished.

All my boast is in Jesus. All my hope is his love.

And I will glory forever in what the cross has done.

He hath fully forgiven. My life is filled with graces undeserved.

What mercy hath brought down the sacred hill? My praise has now returned.

Rise up, my soul, and bless the Lord. Who else is worthy?

All my boast is in Jesus. All my hope is his love.

And I will glory forever in what the cross has done.

Oh, praise the one forever blessed.

Him alone adores.

And I will boast in nothing less than the love of Christ, my

Lord. Oh, praise the one. Oh, praise the one forever blessed.

Him alone my heart adores.

And I will boast in nothing less than the love of Christ, my

Lord. I boast not in riches and strength or might, but in the grace of God.

I glory in weakness to live as Christ, in plenty or in want.

That I may know that all may see his power within me.

All my boast is in Jesus. All my hope is his love.

And I will glory forever in what the cross has done.

Now I stand in his freedom and so clean in his sight.

Oh, I cannot be ashamed for my boast is

Jesus Christ. My boast is Jesus Christ.

My boast is Jesus Christ. Amen. Oh, that's why we boast this morning.

We have no righteousness of our own. We have nothing to offer. We have nothing to bring our

Savior this morning except for the wonderful righteousness that is imputed onto us through faith in Jesus Christ alone.

Amen? Amen. It's a good, good thing this morning. Let's look to that great and wonderful Savior's very words as we do for our

Scripture reading each week. Today we're going to be looking at 1 Corinthians chapter 11, a few verses here, where Paul says,

Now I commend you because you remember me in everything and maintain the traditions even as I delivered them to you.

But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ. The head of a wife is her husband.

And the head of Christ is God. Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head.

But every wife who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head. Since it is the same as if her head were shaven.

For if a wife will not cover her head, then she should cut her hair short. But since it is a disgrace for a wife to cut off her hair or shave her head, let her cover her head.

For a man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God, but woman is the glory of man.

For man was not made for woman, but woman for man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.

That is why a wife ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels. Nevertheless, in the

Lord, woman is not independent of man, nor man of woman. For as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman.

And all things are from God. Judge for yourselves. Is it proper for a wife to pray to God with her head uncovered?

Does not nature itself teach you that if a man wears long hair, is it a disgrace for him? But if a woman has long hair, it is her glory.

For her hair is given to her for a covering. If anyone is inclined to be contentious, we have no such practice, nor do the churches of God.

A godly woman will understand her

God -given femininity, as we preached last week, and will honor her

Savior in it. And this morning, as I mentioned earlier, we want to say a special thanks to our mothers in the room, particularly.

And I would like to pray a prayer at this moment, a pastoral prayer of thanks for God's good gift of mothers, motherhood, in all of our lives.

So if you would bow with me. Heavenly Father, you have blessed us in unmeasurable ways.

Not only have you redeemed us by the blood of your Son, brought us in through adoption as sons and heirs, and care for us as a gracious, loving

Father, you have bestowed upon us grace upon grace. And one of the greatest blessings this site of glory is that of mothers.

Mothers who raise up children in the fear and knowledge of you. Mothers who love and comfort.

Mothers who show Christ -like sacrificial beauty in the midst of a dark and brutal world.

Mothers who lay down their lives for their family every single day. Oh God, there is truly no higher calling in this world than that of a mother who is nurturing and training up kingdom warriors.

I thank you for the mothers, the mother of my children this morning specifically.

Me and her children rise up and call her blessed, for she truly makes our home shine because of her great love for you that expresses itself through her great love for us.

We thank you for her. God, I thank you for my own mother and what a blessing and example she has been to me of a woman who fears the

Lord. I thank you for the mothers in this church and the blessing that they are to their children and their husbands and to the whole of this congregation.

Lord, I thank you for the mothers in this church who have adopted and expressed that beautiful picture of grace and salvation through your adoption of us.

Lord, I thank you for the women of this church who do not have children yet utilize their

God -given design to be a mother to those around them. I would also like to say a special prayer for those mothers who have experienced the worst that this fallen world has to offer through the loss of their child.

Father, you know that deep wound. You know the deep wound that leaves and we mourn with those who mourn yet that mother carries a scar that is deeper than many of us can comprehend.

Oh, but we acknowledge this morning that you, their Savior, knows and you weep with those who weep.

And your great resurrection gives hope, a deep abiding hope. Through this day, being

Mother's Day, we know it can be difficult for some. We pray for peace that surpasses all understanding.

And we thank you for your grace in those mothers' lives. We thank you for the way the church, the bride of Christ, is a mother to us who are part of this congregation and church.

We thank you for the grace that is given to us through the care that the church gives the saints.

Thank you for these glorious blessings. Lord, help us not to take them for granted.

Help us to encourage these mothers. Help us to love them. Help us to take advantage of that grace bestowed through that Christ -given gift of motherhood and that feminine design of mothering.

May they be blessed. We pray all of this in Christ's name. Amen. What comes apart at His command

And what will keep us to the end The love of Christ in which we stand

Oh, sing Hallelujah Our hope springs eternal

Oh, sing Hallelujah Now and ever we confess

Christ our hope in life and death

And what truth can calm Truth can calm the troubled soul

God is good, yes, God is good

Where is His grace and goodness known

In our great Redeemer's blood Who holds our faith when fears arise

Who stands above the stormy trial Who sends the waves that bring us nigh

Unto the shore, the rock of Christ Oh, sing

Hallelujah Our hope springs eternal

Oh, sing Hallelujah Now and ever we confess

Christ our hope in life and death

Unto the grave, what shall we sing

Unto the grave, what shall we sing Christ, He lives,

Christ, He lives And what reward will heaven bring

Everlasting life with Him And we will rise to meet the

Lord Their sin and death will be destroyed

And we will feast in endless joy

When Christ is ours forevermore

Oh, sing Hallelujah Our hope springs eternal

Oh, sing Hallelujah Now and ever we confess

Christ our hope in life and death Oh, sing

Hallelujah Our hope springs eternal

Oh, sing Hallelujah Now and ever we confess

Christ our hope in life and death Father, we thank

You for bringing us here this morning to worship and honor Your holy name, God. We thank

You. It's only through the power of Christ and blood of Christ that we're here. Amen.

Christ alone, my hope is found He is my light, my strength, my song

This cornerstone, this solid ground

For through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love, what depths of peace

When fears are stilled and striving cease

My comforter, my all in all

Here in the love of Christ I stand

Amen. Christ alone who took on flesh

Fullness of God in helpless pain

This gift of life and righteousness Scorned by the ones

He came to save Till on that cross as Jesus died

The wrath of God was satisfied For every sin on earth was laid

Here in the love of Christ I live

In the ground His body lay

Light of the world by darkness slain

Then bursting forth in glorious day

Out from the grave He rose again And as He stands in victory

Sin's curse has lost its grip on me

For I am His and He is mine

Bought with a precious blood of Christ There is life, no fear in death

This is the power of Christ in me

From life's first cry to final breath

Jesus commands my destiny No power of hell, no scheme of man

Can ever pluck me from His hand

Till He returns or calls me home

Here in the power of Christ I stand No power of hell, no scheme of man

Can ever pluck me from His hand

I want to thank you for my mother,

Lord, and thank you for all the wonderful mothers here with us this morning, Lord. Lord, I want to thank you for this offering,

Lord. I pray that you would bless this offering as we take it up. Lord, I just pray that you would be with Pastor Nathan this morning.

Just give him concern, Lord. Give him the words to speak, Lord. Help him speak boldly and truthfully.

Give us open hearts, open ears, and open minds. Father, we love you, we praise you.

Ask all these sons and all these things in your Son, Jesus precious, in your holy name. Amen. As these guys finish up passing the offering plates, and before we jump in today,

I would like to take a moment to just point out that our current sermon series had already been set by the time we realized that today was

Mother's Day. And we did not, I repeat, we did not in any way intentionally plan this particular text to land today, yet here we are.

That being said, open your copy of God's word to Ephesians 5, starting in verse 22.

Ephesians 5, 22, over the past three weeks, we have been laying groundwork for this study of God's design for the family, and looking at God's good and distinct design of masculinity and femininity, building up to this text, and how that design has been distorted by sin, has been tainted by sin, making it something ugly and not as God had originally designed.

Nevertheless, for us today, redeemed. That nature has been redeemed, and once again able to reflect the glory of God in the lives of His good creation.

A creation that is distinctly male and female, as we have seen.

Because in and through Christ, sin is being put to death through sanctification in each of our lives.

And we are given now the power, through the indwelling Holy Spirit, to live, to walk, and to honor

Him within our created natures, and consequently, roles. And so today, we have finally made it to our text here in Ephesians, as we will see this design play out within God's design of the family, the family structure that God Himself has prescribed.

But before we do that, I have to say, before we dive into the text,

I want to address those in the room who are not wives. Because sometimes when we come to the text like this, we say, well,

I can check out today, that's for her, or that's for mom, and I don't have to listen.

But I want to address those of you who are not wives at the moment. Husbands?

Husbands in the room, this message is for you, in that you may know better how to encourage and pray for your wife.

This message, this text, is most certainly for you. Young men in the room who do not have wives, this message is for you, in that you will now know what to look for in a future spouse, and honestly, how to pray for her, starting now, in preparation for that.

Young women who are not yet wives in the room, this message is certainly for you, because one day, you will be a wife.

Now is the time to begin to prepare for that. Unmarried women in the room, who have never married, yes, this message is for you also.

You too may be married one day, and even if, by happenstance, you have the rare gift of singleness, you are part of the whole body.

You are in a church, and you need to know how to disciple the other women within the church, because the vast majority of God's creation is designed to marry.

And to all of you who are of marrying age, I simply want to say, find a godly person and get married already.

Quit dragging your feet. There's no reason to. We prolong marriage in our culture today, and honestly, it's because we prolong adulthood.

There's an arrested development of adulthood, and we believe that you should be pursuing being a godly adult, and hence being a godly spouse.

This is God's good design. So let's read our text. Ephesians chapter five, starting in verse 22,

Paul says, Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body as and is himself its savior.

Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

This is the reading of God's wholly inspired good and true word, and even when it rubs us the wrong way, we're the problem, not it.

So let us pray the Holy Spirit would illuminate our hearts and minds to it. Dear Heavenly Father, we come to you once again, and we thank you for your word.

We thank you for the perspicuity of it, the clarity of it, the goodness of it.

Lord, we thank you that you have given us everything we need for life and godliness right here in it.

We have no need of anything else. We have no need of all of the other stuff spiritually. We have only need of this, because it is everything.

But we often times read it wrong, we misapply it, we distort it with our sin, and Lord, we ask that you would not allow us to do so today.

Guard my lips from error, I beg of you, please. Holy Spirit, illuminate the hearts and minds of the saints here, that we would see the words as they ought to be seen, and we would be doers of the word, not hearers only.

We thank you in Christ's name. Amen. Well, back in verse 18 of chapter 5,

Paul had told us to be filled with the Spirit. And if you were with us back then, when we looked at that particular text, we saw that it really just kind of implies that we are to be dominated by the

Holy Spirit. That you and I, like the sail on a boat, being filled and led by the wind, are to be filled and led by the

Holy Spirit. And just like the evidence of the wind filling the sail of a boat and the boat being moved along by that wind,

Paul goes on and gives us a list of evidences of being filled with the

Spirit. In verse 19, he gives us the first of these three evidences.

A Spirit -filled person will be a singer. To sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to one another.

And if you remember the quote I gave weeks ago when we dealt with this, it just said that when a non -singer becomes a

Christian, he or she becomes a singer. What's in the heart comes out the mouth, and God is a

God of beauty and art, and He creates music. We even saw in the Old Testament that God Himself sings over His people.

So we are called to sing, and that is one of the evidences of being filled with the

Spirit. Now again, I must say, none of these three are things that you do in order to be filled with the

Spirit. These are an outcome of a Spirit -filled life. These are the fruit of it.

In verse 20, he tells us that a Spirit -filled person will be marked by thankfulness. He says, giving thanks always and in everything to God.

We are to have a thankful heart. It's impossible to be thankful and anxious at the same time.

You can't have both. And we are called to be filled with the Spirit, and when filled with the

Spirit, we are filled with a thankfulness for what our great God has done for us.

And we are thankful for all of the blessings in our lives. That is evidence of being filled with the

Spirit. And then thirdly, this is a hard one.

A Spirit -filled person lives a life of submission. A Spirit -filled person lives a life of submission.

You want to know if somebody is Spirit -filled? Are they singing? Do they sing to the saints? Are they singing out praise to God from a heart of worship to God and thankfulness?

And are they submissive to the God -ordained authorities in their life? That is evidence of a

Spirit -filled person, and we are to be filled with the Spirit. To our culture, submission is a primitive and oppressive concept, isn't it?

Our culture hates it. We despise this idea that anyone but ourselves would have any control or say over our lives whatsoever.

After all, we're American, right? We're Americans with our God -given individual freedom to do whatever makes me happy.

I know what's best for me. And this selfish, me -centered mindset makes its way into our theology.

And honestly, it taints the way that we perceive texts like this. Submitting to one another.

God would never demand anything of me that would make me unhappy. God's an American. He knows what freedom is.

And submission to someone else makes me very unhappy. And so we read the text.

We read texts like this. We say, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. There it is.

Paul's telling us that this is a mutual submission of undefined authority.

I can handle that. Submitting to one another. Okay. I get this. I like it. If we are all submissive to one another in equal ways, then really no one is submissive to anyone.

No one is in charge and submission is relative. However, I feel like I'm submitting.

Now there is most certainly a form of mutual submission that we see amongst

Christians. One of sacrifice and Christ -likeness. And putting others before ourselves.

And laying down our lives for each other. However, this is a far cry from an open -ended, unstructured, and vague mutual submission without hierarchy that Paul is most certainly not affirming in this text.

When I preached this text, do you believe it's been 11 weeks? It was 11 weeks ago. I had to go back and look at it when

I preached this particular text. I pointed though to this particular word that Paul used here for submission.

Hupotasso in the Greek. It's a compound Greek word. Hupa means under.

Tasso means to arrange or to place in order. It's actually a military term.

Think of the structure of our army. And I had to look all of these up to make sure

I get them right. And some of you guys that are from military are going to come up afterwards and say, you got this order wrong.

There's all kinds of variation in between. But I think I got most of this right. You start in in the army as a private.

Did I get that one right? Okay. I got the thumbs up. You start in as a private who is subordinate to a corporal.

Now there's other levels within each one of them. But then that corporal is subordinate to a sergeant, who is subordinate to a lieutenant, who then is subordinate to a captain, who is subordinate to a major, who is then subordinate to a colonel, who is then subordinate to a general, who, by the way, is subordinate to the governing officials and the president, who is then subordinate to the people, who are then subordinate to the constitution.

You see the pattern here, right? It just continues to go. This is the type of submission that Paul is pointing out here when he says, submitting, hupotasso, to one another.

He is not telling them that a general is to be subordinate to a private. He is assuming a

God -given structure of authority. And he goes on to prove that over the next few verses.

As the verses we read a moment ago, verses 22 -24, he says wives are to be subject to their own husbands.

Verses 25 -33 gives us this idea that husbands are subject to Christ. In chapter 6, the first three verses, children are subject to their parents.

And then verses 5 -9 of chapter 6, slaves are subject to their masters. Everyone submits.

Christian life is marked by submission. Over in 1

Corinthians chapter 6, Paul says, Hey saint, you are not your own. You were bought with a price.

You are owned. You were purchased. Your life does not belong to you.

And you and I do not have the right to claim autonomy. I want what

I want. I know what's best for me. And I will do as I deem best.

And when I don't agree with that structured authority that is over me, I will most certainly not submit.

Yeah, try that in the military. See how that goes for you. Right? I shared this quote from Martin Lloyd -Jones back when

I preached this text. I want to share it again so it's fresh in our minds. As he got to this text and he was preaching, he says,

Paul gives us a picture of soldiers here. The reason he uses this military term. Aligning under one mighty captain.

No man remains an individual. He is now part, all of them, of the regiment.

All together taking orders from one. And from one captain. Who's that captain?

Who's he talking about? Christ Jesus, right? And when a man joins the army, he signs away the rights to determine his life and activities.

And that's the core of his contract. That he no longer governs himself. He can't go on holiday when he likes.

He can't get up late in the morning as he likes. He's now a man under authority. And the captain and the orders dictate his call.

And anything else he says is insubordination. That was a beautiful example of what this text is telling us from Paul.

In the military, everyone has a job to do. No matter what position you land in.

And each job is equally valued. And this, in the military, is but a reflection of God's ordained design of authority in his creation.

We see that authority structure played out in all of creation. Hence, we have things like the military.

We even see a structure of authority in the animal kingdom. You see a structure of authority in everything that God has designed.

We see a structure of authority within the church. There's pastors and overseers who have authority within this particular body.

And specifically, here in Ephesians, we see it played out in the family. And why is

Paul focusing on the family so much here? I believe it's because God's good design of the family is unique.

God's good design of the family, the husband and wife relationship particularly, is one that is extraordinarily unique.

In that, nothing in the whole created order displays the transcendent beauty of Christ's unmatched, unparalleled, and unbreakable union with his bride, the church.

We see that later on in verse 32 of chapter 5. Look at it. Paul says this mystery is profound.

What mystery? This mystery of the husband and the wife's relationship. He says it's profound.

And he says, and I am saying that it, that marriage relationship, refers to Christ and the church.

It's unique. God has set it apart for a particular purpose.

He's the one that designed marriage, isn't he? He designed it right there with Adam and Eve. Why else do you think

God hates divorce so much? Why do you think that divorce is so damaging to everything that it touches?

You know, there's a lot of damaging sin in our world that wreaks havoc, but few as catastrophic as broken families.

Have you noticed that? No one escapes unscathed from the collateral damage of divorce and broken family.

No one. You may think that in that divorce, well, you know what, we're fighting, and this is going to be better for the kids, this is going to be better for us, everybody.

I know a lot of good adults who were children of divorce. It'll be fine.

Quit fooling yourself. Even the lost world's research is proving otherwise.

They know how damaging it is. No one goes unscathed. Not your kids, not your neighbors.

What do my neighbors have to do with it? Oh, trust me, they're being affected by that divorce. Not your friends, not your co -workers that are watching your life, not your fellow church members, not your parents, not your siblings, not acquaintances that you even barely know, and not even strangers that you don't know but see from a distance.

And most certainly not you. Everyone is affected by the collateral damage of it.

And why is that? Because not only has a person sinned against God in tearing apart

God's designed relationship of the marriage, that person has actively spat upon the visible and tangible imagery of the beauty of the gospel that God Himself created the family to portray and declare to the whole of creation.

That's why Paul says this is referring to Christ and His church. This is a profound mystery.

This is why he wove it into the fabric of creation when he created them male and female and said that the two shall become one flesh.

What God has joined together, let no man put asunder, right? Let no man separate. He has already laid the foundation of a picture of the gospel there in the garden right away.

Because when God created that garden and they ate of the fruit and then sin came into the world, God didn't go to plan

B, did He? God didn't say, well, I guess they ate the fruit. All right, Jesus, you're up.

He had already planned before He'd even created everything to bruise His Son and redeem a people to Himself.

And so this didn't catch Him off guard. And so in the very fabric of the design, He had already built the imagery of this relationship in through male and female in marriage.

And so if this is true, if this truly is imagery depicting the relationship between Christ and His bride, the church, then not only should it stay intact, it should carry on that imagery throughout the course of its day -to -day functions.

Don't fool yourselves thinking, well, we're just going to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and stay in this unhealthy, really terrible marriage because God hates divorce.

God will be honored in us just staying in it. You can't stop there. That's too low a bar to stop at.

Serving as a means of reminding everyone around you of that very gospel. The watching world sees the family and is forced to be reminded of the gospel, the imagery of a

Savior with His people. And when it's not functioning as God Himself prescribed, a watching world that means your children, that means your friends, that means everyone that we just listed a moment ago and then some, is being presented with a distorted picture of the gospel.

When that marriage is not functioning as God prescribed, then everyone is seeing a distortion of the gospel presented right in front of them.

They may hear technically accurate depiction of the gospel from your lips, while your life and your actions within your marriage scream out a denial of those very words.

Hypocrisy. Husbands not submitting to Christ as evidenced by the actions of their lives.

Denial of the gospel. Wives not submitting to their husbands and therefore not submitting to Christ.

A denial of the gospel. Children not submitting to parents as an obvious sign of not submitting to the Lord. A denial of the gospel.

This is why Paul says that an evidence of being filled with the Spirit is that of submitting to one another.

Because it's out of reverence for Christ, the one who told us to submit.

And that is the key. If you and I try to submit for any other reason other than reverence, love for Christ, then even our greatest efforts of submission will become distorted and ugly.

We see it. You see wives that try and submit to their husbands out in the world, outside of Christ, it becomes a very ugly thing.

Where a husband's heavy hand of dominance weighs heavy in a family and destroys the family.

And the wife just turns into a mousy, lifeless thing. You see it all the time.

Or you see the other extreme where the wife just rules the home. We've talked about this for weeks. Husbands, your submission to Christ will become nothing more than legalism if you're trying to do it outside of Christ.

And it will crush everyone around you with the law. Anytime men that you try and do things out of legalism, you will crush the soul of your wife, you will crush the soul of your children, and you will crush the soul of everyone in your life that you are influencing over.

Legalism is lifeless and terribly, tragically destructive. Wives, your submission to your husband outside of a love for Christ will become a life -sucking burden for you.

And will influence your children that are watching in unhealthy, distorted ways.

Children, your submission to your parents without a love for Christ will lead to devastating rebellion of the heart.

Oh, but when done out of a love and submission to Christ, this submission to God's ordained structure of authority becomes freeing and life -giving.

Particularly within the marriage structure. And this gets us back to what we've been talking about for three weeks.

The distinct God -given natures, both male and female, masculine and feminine, are intentionally wired for this design.

Have any of you ever been given a position of responsibility that you were not qualified for?

Maybe at work, or in a certain setting, that you just weren't prepared for.

When I was about 15, I worked in a factory that built cabinetry. And the owner of the company came out of the high tower, and all his cronies in their suits come into the factory, and they looked at me and they said,

Come here. And they brought me into this portion where it was the plexiglass section.

They had to do all of this melting and all of this forming of plexiglass. And there was a man that specialized in it, and I had worked with him maybe like two days at one point to be a helper.

And I'm the only one that had. And they had orders. And this man had quit out of nowhere.

And so then they look at me and they say, Can you do these orders for us?

And I can't tell you how much stress I felt in that moment. And I tried, and I lost them lots of money that day.

I wasn't qualified for this. And the misery of that job crushed me.

They put me in a position I wasn't designed for, and I wasn't ready for, and I wasn't meant for.

But when they let me go back into the factory, after I had just completely butchered the whole thing, and started working with cabinets and wood again, something that I was trained in and loved and was gifted for,

I flourished and was fruitful for them once again. This is precisely why

God's word says there in verse 22, Wives, submit to your own husbands.

You were not designed to be a general. We talked about that last week with God's good design of femininity.

You would be terribly unhappy being the general of the family. Look at it.

Every woman who tries to be the head of a household feels that terrible crushing weight.

They feel it. Yet our sin nature, always seeking to harm us, wants to buck against that.

You weren't designed for it. But yet in Genesis 3, you remember what one of the consequences was.

God told Eve, your desire shall be contrary to your husband. What does he mean?

He means that you will want his position. You will want his role. You will want to dominate over him.

He shall rule over you. And that is why Scripture, time and time again, reminds you so that you may have your mind renewed.

Over and over again, this command of submission and all other commands of submission are in no way oppressive, unfair, or unjust.

That's what we get backwards. We think that submission is unfair. Women that look in the household and say, well, the man is the head of the household, that's unfair.

No, it is for your good. You were designed distinctly feminine. You were not designed to lead the home.

And any time that man allows you to, he just allowed a weight on your shoulders that your shoulders were not meant to bear.

You weren't created for it. And it will crush you. And it will crush the whole of the family. Now let's look at the text.

I want us to see three things in these three verses. The first is we see the decree.

The decree there in verse 22. Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the

Lord. Notice Paul doesn't say this in a way that can be negotiated.

This is not negotiable here. Some try to point to the fact that the word for submit, that hupotasso, is not in the original language here.

As a matter of fact, in the Greek it simply reads, Wives, to your own husbands. And they read that and they try to conclude that Paul isn't speaking of submission here.

They try and make it sound like you're supposed to be loyal to, or you're supposed to be committed to your own husband.

So if it's not in the original language, why is it here? Why is it not here? Because it must be assumed.

See, when we translate into the English, the English language is very different than Greek. In the English translation, so that we can track with Paul's actual thought here, in the

Greek, Paul had no need to write that particular word because it was assumed from the previous sentence in verse 21 that he does use the word hupotasso.

He says, submit to one another. And now he's listing that order of submission.

If that's not enough evidence for you, Paul's other writings on this matter should seal the deal. Colossians 3 .18.

Colossians 3 .18, Paul says, submit to your husbands, and he does use the word hupotasso there.

He does put it in the original language. He says, wives, submit to your husbands as is fitting in the

Lord. That's because he had not previously begun that thought there in Colossians as he had done in Ephesians.

He had no need to write the word. We see it again in Titus 2. In Titus 2, verse 5, that we've referenced over the past couple of weeks quite a bit.

Remember the older women teaching the younger women. One of those things that they're to teach the younger women is hupotasso, submissive to their own husbands.

There's that word again. That the word of God may not be reviled. Because remember, what I said earlier, not obeying

God's design is a distortion of the gospel. That's why he says that the word of God may not be reviled.

You are to be submissive to your own husband. Not living what it says shows everyone watching that what it says isn't true, doesn't it?

If you can take bits and pieces of scripture and say, yeah,

I'm not going to believe that, or I'm going to try and redefine that, then you might as well throw the whole thing out.

And the watching world, they're keen enough to know that. If anything in this word is not to be held to, then none of it should be held to.

Literally throw that Bible in the garbage. If you believe that there's anything in that scripture that isn't true, throw it in the garbage because none of it's true.

You cannot have your cake and eat it too, right? You can't pick and choose. And so when you deny something as clear as this or don't live your life out to it, what does that say to everyone watching?

Hypocrite. They don't truly believe what they say they believe. And when a wife is not submissive to her own husband, the whole of God's Word is just reviled.

Now, one thing that this text does not mean is that every woman is to be submissive to every man.

We've talked about the distinction of masculinity and femininity, and we see that God has distinctly designed each one, yet we see those two things playing out primarily in the home, first and foremost.

Wives, look at the verse. Verse 22 again. Wives, submit to your own husbands.

You may all have to submit to your governing authorities. We may all have to submit to our pastors.

We may have to submit to our boss. But when it comes to your home, your husband is your head.

I, as your pastor, have no authority over you in matters such as how you should spend your day.

I have no authority there. And things of that sort. And neither does any man in this room, but your husband most certainly does.

And this decree is good. Look at what he says there next in verse 22.

Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. What does he mean by as to the

Lord? We see in the next point. I want us to see the motivation in verse 23.

This gives us some insight as to what he means by as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its

Savior. We've seen this terminology previously in Ephesians. As a matter of fact, look back with me to chapter 1.

Turn back to chapter 1, verse 18. This is

Paul's prayer for the saints. He's telling them what he's praying for, essentially. And in chapter 1 of verse 18, he says,

Having the eyes of your hearts, each individual Christian that he's writing to, enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you.

What are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints? Who are the saints?

Us. Only the guys? Only the husbands? No, every saint that's in Christ, right?

And what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe?

Male, female, Jew, Greek, black, white. Every one of us, according to the working of his great might, that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at the right hand in the heavenly places.

At his right hand. What does it mean to be placed at the right hand of God? It means you're king.

You are the king. In verse 21, Far above all rule and authority and power and dominion and above every name that is named, no matter what that is, president, king, husband, boss, pastor, every single rule and authority in your life, he is far above each and every one of those.

Not only in this age, which is where we're at right now, but also the one to come in the future, the new heavens and new earth.

And he put all things under his feet. Jesus Christ has everything under his feet and gave him as head over all things.

He says this to the church. He's head of this body, the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills all in all, all of us, male, female.

See, that is what Paul is getting at over in Galatians chapter 3 when he says, For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ, there is neither

Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female, and you are all one in Christ Jesus.

Christ Jesus is the ultimate head over the church. That's every male, every female, every nationality, every social status.

That's everything, isn't it? He's the head. He is the ultimate authority.

So when Paul says, Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, you are ultimately not submitting to that husband for that husband's sake.

You get that, right? Sometimes it's hard to bow the knee to another person that you're equal with and value, and sometimes you're smarter than we are.

Sometimes that's hard, isn't it? That's not what Paul's asking you to do. You're not submitting to them for them.

That's not the purpose. You are doing it because your ultimate authority told you to do so. Christ Jesus, who is the authority over your husband, who is the authority over each and every one of us, and even when that husband is wrong, and we are often.

Good, my wife didn't say amen. The ultimate authority, Jesus Christ, has your good and his glory in mind.

I'm going to say that again. When your husband is wrong, the ultimate authority, Jesus Christ, has your good and his glory in mind.

You see, we see that practically played out in 1 Peter 3. In 1 Peter 3, turn there with me.

I want you to see it. 1 Peter 3, the first two verses here, this is actually a passage that's used to abuse women quite often in marriages.

1 Peter 3, starting in verse 1, he says, likewise, wives, be subject.

There's that word again, hupotasso, the same word Paul used. Be subject to your own husbands.

Same phrase as Paul writes. This is consistent, right? Why? Why be subject?

So that, even if, and this happens quite often,

I'm afraid, even if, some, speaking of husbands, do not obey the word.

We usually think of unbelievers here, and I think that is in the context, of course, but I also think that it could be referring to rebellious

Christians, because us men do not always make the best and godliest decisions. We're not always following King Jesus the way we ought, are we?

So this can imply an unbelieving husband, but I think it can imply also a

Christian husband who is not currently being obedient to Christ. But you are to be subject to your husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives.

And how could this take place? Look at verse 2. When they, your husband, see your respectful and pure conduct.

Some of you wives have an unbelieving husband. Your submission to him is a constant reminder of the gospel.

Are we called to suffer for the sake of Christ? Did God ever promise a happy -go -lucky life for us in this world?

Can somebody show me? Anybody? Had God anywhere in Scripture promised us a happy -go -lucky, difficult -free life and wonderful, wonderful relationships and family dynamic and everything?

Did he promise that in this life? I'm waiting. He didn't, did he?

For the husbands or the wives or the children. What did he promise? Suffering.

Because suffering is molding you into the image of your great Savior, who used this life to suffer.

Right? So then we read, Wives, be subject to your husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives when they see your respectful and pure conduct.

Some of you have believing husbands who are susceptible to seasons of disobedience, as we often are.

They don't lead, they don't love well at the moment. Is your job to usurp his authority and take the bull by the horns?

Is it to nag him into obedience? Not according to the text.

Has that ever worked? I'm just curious. Have any of you wives ever nagged your husband into doing the right thing?

You might win him once or twice and get him to do the job you want him to do. But has it ever really changed him?

Husbands, have you ever tried to force your wife to do something like put your fist down and be like, I'm the head of the house.

Go do the thing. And that actually worked? It never works, does it?

Only Christ -likeness changes people because only the gospel changes people. Only the gospel can awaken a dead soul to the truth of the goodness and grace of a good

God and want to follow Christ Jesus. And in a Christian's life, only the gospel is a reminder of how we should honor our

Savior. Only the gospel. And when you are submissive to your husband, you are declaring the gospel through your good conduct.

That can change him. If you want to change, trust in the ultimate authority's prescription.

It's as simple as that. He's the only one that can change your husband. And your husband's sin does not nullify the fact that Paul says, for the husband is the head of the wife.

There's some confusion as to what Paul means by the last part of this verse. As a matter of fact, turn back there with me to Ephesians 5.

In verse 23, some confusion as to what Paul means at the very last of that, when it says, and is himself its

Savior. Is Paul saying that the husband is the wife's

Savior? Because here's the thing, when we see him say, is his body, previously to that statement, we understand the correlation here, don't we?

The two have become one flesh and the husband is, of course, the head of that body. The two are one body.

I get that. That's his body. But what do we make of this Savior statement? Well, in one way, we could simply say that he is her

Savior and that he's the one to provide for her. He's the one to protect her, to lay down his life for her.

And if that is what someone is meaning with that interpretation, I'm comfortable with that. Okay, I see it.

But I'm not convinced. I think Paul is giving wives their motivation here.

I think Paul is reminding wives that Christ actually did die for them.

That Christ actually is the Savior of the church. He uses the phrase in the

Greek, kurios, which we translate Lord back in verse 22 when referring to Christ.

But here, he uses the phrase soter. Here, we get our word

Savior. It means deliverer. He says, and is himself.

It's interesting that he phrases it in this way. Him and him alone, it's

Savior. He is himself. That's soter, the

Savior. Your motivation to submit to your husband is the very fact that your

Lord, the one that you are to submit to ultimately, that you, your husband, your children, every created thing is to submit to, is not only your

Lord and King, he's also your Savior, your deliverer.

He is the one that you rest in. If your husband is your head, and Christ is the head over all, including your husband, then you place no hopes in your husband.

That man will let you down. That man will disappoint you. That man will make poor decisions.

I'm one of those. I know what that looks like. That man will not always lay down his life for you as he ought to.

Oh, but the God man, your Savior, the one that is himself the

Savior of the church, he never lets you down. He never disappoints you.

He always does the right thing, and he proved it by laying down his life for you. This is the hope that we have in your great calling of submission to your husband.

It doesn't depend on your husband. You have a good and gracious Savior.

Not only is he your Lord and King, he is your Savior. He is your Redeemer. He is the one.

He and he alone purchased you. Now, that Savior tells your husband, if he is in Christ, you do the same, but you're going to do it imperfectly, but my goodness and my grace and my righteousness is even going to cover that, and I'm going to take care of her too in the midst of your brokenness.

Another reason I believe this interpretation is because of the beginning of the next verse. In the

ESV, it has it translated in verse 24, now as the church submits to Christ, but I don't think that's a good translation.

As a matter of fact, in the Greek, I think a better translation is but as the church submits to Christ.

Giving this idea that there is some type of contrast here. So that leads me to believe that Paul is reserving this

Savior comment for the actual Savior in which I am certainly not as a husband.

Third and finally, we see the exhortation in verse 24. But as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Now, this may seem repetitive of Paul. After all, he's already given the decree there in verse 22.

However, now that he's given the motivation in verse 23, he repeats the decree with what

I believe is an exhortation. No Christian, no true

Christian would deny that the church is to be under submission to Christ.

Right? That no true Christian would deny that they are to be under submission to Christ.

And who is the church? The saints.

All who are in Christ. That's the church. It is to be submissive. We know that we should submit to Christ and so Paul exhorts wives in the same way.

But as the church submits to Christ, so also as the church submits to Christ, you, wives, just as we submit to Christ, should submit in everything to their husbands.

Let's define everything. I think it's important that we define this everything. If you're like me, that stands out.

Are there limits to your obedience to Christ? Any limits?

Any limits to the church's obedience to Christ? None. No limits whatsoever.

And why is that? It's because Christ is good. All that Christ says and all that Christ does and all that Christ commands is good and perfect.

He would never command the church or the people of the church to sin in any way.

James said that in chapter 1. No one say when he is tempted that I am being tempted by God for God cannot be tempted with evil and he himself tempts no one.

Do husbands ever command a wife to sin? You betcha.

You bet we do. Because we're not Christ. We're imperfect. We are very broken, imperfect leaders.

Does that mean that a wife must submit in those areas? What if a husband tells his wife to commit murder?

We're all like, well, of course not. What if your husband tells you to steal from the grocery store?

Is that included in that everything? Is that submitting everything to your husband, right? Is that what

God is talking about here? Is that what he's telling the wife? Of course not.

You see, all of this writing is predicated on Christ being the ultimate authority, as we've said.

All other authority, governing authorities, pastoral authority, and within the home, start and stop wherever the king says it starts and stops.

He sets the boundaries of their authority because he is the ultimate authority.

So if your husband were to command you to sin against God, you have an ultimate authority to look to.

Just as if a lieutenant tried to get a private to do something that goes against the general's command, there's a rank going on here.

That general outranks the lieutenant. Now, here's the problem.

There's some gray area that seems like sometimes when we're counseling and when we're dealing with actual life, isn't there?

Sometimes it's a matter of conscience. It doesn't seem overly clear, possibly, from Scripture.

What do you do, wives? You say, I think it's sin. It's not something like murdering or stealing or one of the

Ten Commandments, but I think it's sin. My husband tells me that I can't go to church today.

The Bible says not to neglect the gathering of the saints. What do I do? My husband tells me

I have to wear this particular outfit. He wants me to wear this outfit. What do I do? Well, that's the beauty of having community, right?

That's the beauty. You can seek counsel from your pastors. You can seek counsel from other godly sisters within the church.

But if it is clearly sin, his jurisdiction has ended. Now, the principle from 1

Peter still applies. Remember, we read that passage a moment ago. They may be one without a word by the conduct of their wives.

Their obedience to Christ is the kicker. And verse 2 said, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.

Your respectful and pure conduct is saying, God has called me to be gentle of spirit and lowly and submissive, and I'm going to do that all the way up until his jurisdiction ends.

And even when his jurisdiction ends, I'm not going to try and take the bull by the horns and say I'm taking control.

That's where I'm going to go to the church, and I'm going to seek help. And I'm going to let other men deal with my husband.

That's the beautiful part of having community as a saint. Out in the lost world, they're hopeless.

They can't have a family dynamic. Lost people cannot. They may look like they have a leave it to beaver kind of dynamic in some cases, but they most certainly do not.

They cannot follow this. But with us saints, we have the church. And like I said a moment ago, this particular passage oftentimes is used to abuse women within a marriage.

This passage is not saying that if your husband is beating you or the children, that you just take it.

That is not what Peter is saying. Your husband's jurisdiction ended there. If your husband is abusing you in verbal ways, that's where you go to the church, and you let the men of the church, the pastors, deal with your husband and help you, counsel you through.

How do I approach these things? It is not just lay there and die. That would be godless.

But Paul, like Peter here, is exhorting you wives to live in such a way as to declare to your husbands, to declare to your children, your friends, your church family, and all of the watching world that Christ Jesus is king, and you do so through your obedient conduct.

He sets the rules. He designed you distinctly feminine. And he will be the one to vindicate you when you are wronged.

When your husband makes a poor decision, he will be the one to provide for you.

When your husband is not comforting you during difficulty that he himself has brought on to y 'all's lives,

Christ will be the one to comfort you. The world says look out for number one.

Don't let anyone tell you how to live or what to do, especially some man or even some religion.

But you all know that that road leads to misery and destruction, and they know it too. That's why they hate

God's good design. Because they hate the creator of it. But for those of us who have been redeemed, we love his law.

We love his precepts. Because we see the goodness of it. Wives, don't let the evil one deceive you into settling for lesser.

Don't let him deceive you for taking the role of the husband or trying to win an argument or overcome.

Look to Christ. Imitate him. Trust in him. Rest in him. Take comfort from him.

He and he alone is your great refuge because he and he alone is your authority and your savior, not your husband.

Your husband is under authority to him, and he will let you down. But Christ never has and never will.

He will care for you, sisters. You must look to him. In light of that, let's prepare our hearts and minds to go to the table.