WWUTT 1874 Honor Your Father and Your Mother (Part 2)

Ephesians 6 and the Fifth Commandment

In Ephesians 6 .1 we read, Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. Verse 4 says, Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord when we understand the text.

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Once again, it's Pastor Gabe. Thank you, Becky, and greetings, everyone. Normally today I'd be doing my Old Testament study, but as I said on Monday, I'm giving my voice a rest this week as I've been pretty congested.

So I've been playing a couple of sermons that I did at the end of 2022. We come back to Part 2 of a sermon that I started yesterday in Ephesians 6 .1 -4. Yeah, this is an Old Testament study, but we go back to the Old Testament as Paul makes reference to the Fifth Commandment.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise, so that it may be well with you and that you may live long in the land.

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and the instruction of the Lord. Here's Part 2 of that sermon from Ephesians 6. The first of the horizontal commands and how we love our neighbor, right?

The first command is what? Honor your father and your mother. And that command comes even with a particular promise. It's right there in Exodus 20 .12. That your days may be prolonged in the land which Yahweh, your God, gives to you.

So you see how important this commandment is when it comes to the commands that God has given for loving one another. The very first one is honor your father and your mother. Now Paul only says here that it's the first commandment with a promise, but he doesn't expound on what that promise means in a New Testament context.

At least here he doesn't. So for Israel, we know what this means. When this was said to the nation of Israel, honor your father and your mother so that you may live long in the land that the Lord, your God is giving to you.

Well, we know what that means. God was giving them the promised land. They were going into a land of promise and there they were to honor mom and dad and God will make us to live long here in the land.

But what about the Ephesians that Paul is writing to? I mean, they live in what is modern day Turkey. They are not being told to have a pilgrimage down to the holy land. They're not being told to mount up horses and take up sword and shield and go on a crusade and conquer the promised land again.

So what does it mean to the Ephesians and therefore what does it mean to us here to be told, honor your father and your mother so that it may go well with you that you may live long in the land. Well, first of all, I think there is a very practical and immediate sense to this.

If you grow up with a mom and dad and you love and you honor your parents, you are more likely to live a longer and a healthy life. It's not absolutely the case in every circumstance, but generally that is true.

And I'm not going to rattle off statistics for you and eat up that kind of time, but I think that you've seen the numbers before. Those who don't grow up in two parent homes, especially if they do not have a father who loves and disciplines them, they are less likely to live as long and they are more likely to fall into depraved and destructive behavior.

Once again, that's not in every single circumstance, but that's generally what we see. So in that sense, there is certainly a practical and personal result to obeying your parents. Secondly, there is a spiritual result.

To honor your parents is to honor the Lord. So you will be blessed to have peace with God and you will have peace with others in the present. And you will also live in the land of his eternal kingdom in the future.

Hebrews 11, 16. But ultimately, I think that the application of this particular promise is some combination of both, of the practical and of the spiritual. When Paul applies this in our New Testament context, it's really not too much different than the application in an Old Testament context.

The promise here is not necessarily one of land, but of legacy. We're not talking here about geography. We're talking about generations. Now, what do I mean by that? Let's do a little bit of math here today.

You didn't know you were going to have to come to church and do some math, but here we go. Does anybody know exactly how many children I have? Five. Thank you for the reminder. Sometimes I have to count myself.

So I've got five kids. If I am faithful to do as God is instructing here, and I raise up my children in the discipline and the instruction of the Lord, and I teach them the gospel, and they come to know Christ, and all five of my children, by the grace of God, are saved, then I have raised up how many souls for the kingdom of heaven?

Five. Five souls for the kingdom of God. Now, let's say my five kids, they all grow up, and they all get married, and they each have five children. How many grandchildren do I have? Twenty-five. Some of you were a little uncertain about that.

Twenty-five grandchildren. Now, let's say my kids teach their kids in the same way, and they're raised up to know the Lord. Of my grandchildren, how many of my grandchildren have been added to the kingdom of God?

If they each had five children each, and they're raised up in the gospel, that's 125 great-grandchildren who are now added to the kingdom of God. So, let's say my 125 great-grandchildren grow up, get married, and they each have five children.

How many great-great grandchildren will I have? Six hundred and twenty-five. How many of you had to pull out your smartphone in order to figure that out? You're already working ahead. Gabe's going to ask, so I'm doing it right now.

So, just to cut this short, the next generation after them will be over 3 ,000. The next generation after that will be over 15 ,000. That's one family, six generations that we've covered just right there.

By the way, does anyone have any idea how many generations old the United States is? If we were to consider a generation is 40 years, then how many generations old is the United States? Just over six generations old.

You want to win a nation to Christ? This is how you do it, right here. But has this nation been doing that? The New Testament gives us two church growth strategies. Go out into all the world and evangelize them, and have children and evangelize them.

There's our two church growth strategies. In fact, here in the book of Ephesians, there is no explicit command to go out and do evangelism, but there is an explicit command to raise up children in the Lord.

Preaching on Ephesians 6, 1 through 4, Dr. Votie Bauckham said this, Do you want to avoid disappearing in the midst of a pagan culture? Outbreed them. But it's not just enough for us to have kids. You've got to raise them up to know Christ.

When the Lord created the first man and woman, He told them to be fruitful and multiply, to fill the earth and subdue it. When God was sending Israel into the promised land, He told them, be fruitful and multiply.

When they were not faithful to God, and God punished them by sending them into exile, even in exile, God said to the nation of Israel, be fruitful and multiply. And when they came out of exile, back into the land that God had given to their fathers, they were read the law and reminded again to be fruitful and multiply.

Deuteronomy 6, 4 Hear, O Israel, Yahweh is our God. Yahweh is one. You shall love Yahweh, your God, with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. These words which I am commanding you today shall be on your heart.

You shall teach them diligently to your sons, and you shall speak of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. My friends, what makes you think that this command for an Old Testament people has no relevance for us today?

It has not been nullified, nor have its promises. Paul is showing us right here in Ephesians 6, 3 that these commands are still relevant to us now. Honor your father and your mother so that it may go well with you and you may live.

Fathers, Do Not Provoke Your Children to Anger

Now let's look together at verse 4. It has taken us a while to get here, but I've been infusing the instruction that we see here in this lesson all the while. The apostle says, Ephesians 6, 4, Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and the instruction of the Lord.

Now what does it mean to provoke your children to anger? Or what does it mean rather to not do that? Do not provoke your children to anger. Nineteenth century English theologian Charles Ellicott notes, quote,.

The language here is the same as in Ephesians 4, 26. Be angry and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger. And it denotes the exasperation produced by arbitrary and unsympathetic rule, unquote.

American theologian Albert Barnes said, quote,. The apostle here has hit on the very danger to which parents are most exposed in the government of their children. It is that of souring their temper, of making them feel the parent is under the influence of anger and that it is right for them to be so too.

Unquote. Whenever my children begin fighting with one another, whenever they are arguing with each other and shouting with each other and tempers are flared, I will calm them down, I will discipline them as needed and I will have them say their apologies and issue their forgiveness and make up.

But sometime later when I'm thinking back on the situation I will wonder to myself, why did that scenario, why did that situation just happen? Were they just being sinful and it was a sinful occasion in which now I have to discipline my kids?

Or were they acting that way because they saw me acting that way? Was the wrath in my children toward one another a reflection of the way that I'm parenting them? Just a few nights ago I was sitting at the dining room table with my 14 month old son in his walker and I was feeding him sloppy joe.

My 11 year old son was sitting next to me at the table and his mother is giving him instruction. Now I wasn't paying attention at the very beginning of that but I noticed even though as I'm feeding my baby child that my 11 year old is not listening to his mother.

Even while she is instructing him he is disobeying her in the midst of her instruction. And so I jump into the situation and I begin instructing him, if he's not listening to mom he better be listening to dad.

And while I'm talking to him he does the same thing to me that he was doing to his mom. He does exactly the opposite of what I was telling him to do and I lost my temper. And I began shouting at him because he was disrespecting me and he was disrespecting his mom.

And as I'm shouting at him right there in front of my 14 month old my youngest child was terrified because he had never seen dad react that way before. And he began to sob uncontrollably heaving sobs like the greatest weight of the world just came down on the kid.

So that my wife had to come in and scoop him up and hold him. And I had to be right there so that he could hear this is daddy, I didn't change into some monster all of a sudden. I'm still right here. And I was immediately convicted that my wrath frightened my child and it was not righteous.

And I had to apologize even to my 11 year old son. He was still wrong in disrespecting his parents but I did not need to react that way. And I apologized to him and he apologized to me and we sought the Lord together.

Fathers, we must discipline our children. That instruction is right there in scripture for us to follow. But when we discipline we are not to do it in anger. When I discipline my kids what do they hear?

Do they understand because I properly explained to them that they disobeyed God and so this is why I'm being punished. So that I will learn to honor the Lord and I will continue on from this point forward doing what God commands of me.

Or did I not properly explain it and all my kids saw was me get mad at them. And so now the lesson that they walk away with is just don't make Dad mad. What did my children learn? And it's with patience and compassion and love that I am to discipline my kids.

Dad, just as your Father in Heaven has been patient with you, so you must be patient with your children. But I tell you this if you don't discipline them at all, the Bible actually says you hate your children.

Proverbs 13 .24 He who holds back his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently. Hebrews 12 .6 says, Those whom the Lord loves, He disciplines and He flogs every son whom He receives.

If God did not discipline us, then we would be illegitimate children. We would not be the sons and daughters of God. In Revelation 3 .19, Jesus says Those whom I love I reprove and discipline therefore be zealous and repent.

So let me put to you something that I said in the very beginning. Fathers, you show me the man who does not provoke his children to anger, but is diligent in obedience to God to raise up his children in the training and the instruction of the Lord.

And I will show you a man who is what? Spirit filled. But if you show me a man who is not diligent to discipline his children, perhaps he provokes them to anger by doing nothing at all. He does not spend time with his kids.

He does not teach them the gospel. He spends too much time at work. He watches too much TV. He stares at his computer or at his smartphone most of the time so that his kids even think my dad loves those things more than he loves me.

You show me that man and I'll show you a man who is not spirit filled. Dads, let me take you back to a picture that I painted for you earlier. On the day that we stand before Christ to give an account of all that we've done.

Don't you want to be able to present your children to the Lord and say to him King here they are here are the children that you have entrusted to me. I sacrifice myself for them as you sacrifice yourself for me.

I gave them your word as you gave your word to me and I present them to you in splendor as you have promised to do for me. You show me the man who wants that and I'll show you the man who is spirit filled.

Dads and moms too if you have failed at this then I tell you to get on your knees before God and ask for his forgiveness. Some of you may need to ask forgiveness from your children. And I can tell you as one who has plenty of experience there are few things that are more humbling than having to get down on a knee and get eye to eye with your five year old and ask for her forgiveness.

Some of your children may be older than that and you need to apologize to a teenager. Or maybe your children have grown up in the home and you did not do these things when they were there. You may need to apologize to your adult children and ask for their forgiveness.

But we have a savior who is merciful and good to us and if we ask forgiveness he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us of all unrighteousness. Maybe some of you as I've been going through these things today maybe you don't even have a father at home who has taught you these things.

Maybe he's gone from the home or maybe he passed away some time ago. I tell you you have a father who is in heaven who loves you. And has called you into his family through faith in Jesus Christ. His own son whom he gave to be a sacrifice for us.

Dying on the cross for our sins rising again from the grave. Jesus ascended into heaven. He is seated at the right hand of the father where 1 John 3 .1 says he is our advocate for us on our behalf. He speaks favorably of us before the father.

And through Jesus Christ we are his children. Now folks I'm going to be honest with you I'm frustrated with the little time that I have to preach. There is so much more that I had that I would love to go on and share with you.

I could go on about this for hours. Any of the other pastors could even come up here and they could teach another sermon on these same verses and give you so much more than I've already given to you here.

As I said to you in the beginning these things are good for us to hear and we need to hear them over and over and over again. We need to be reminded that if we are not faithful to discipline our children and raise them up there is an enemy that is more than willing to do it for us.

And I don't know if you've watched the news lately but he is incredibly effective at his job. We must teach our children and raise them up in the knowledge of Christ. I have not been a perfect child and as you've heard from even my own testimony today I am not a perfect father but I have a perfect father who gave a perfect son and when it comes to being a Christian dad, a Christian husband, a Christian whatever my help comes from the Lord.

As we are about to sing when we walk with the Lord in the light of his word what a glory he sheds on our way while we do his good will he abides with us still and with all who will trust and obey.

This has been When We Understand the Text with Pastor Gabriel Hughes. For all of our podcasts, episodes, videos, books, and more visit our website at www .utt .com. If you'd like to submit a question to this broadcast or just send us a comment email whenweunderstandthetext at gmail .com and let your friends know about our ministry.

Join us again tomorrow as we grow together in the study of God's word when we understand the text.