Opposite the Edomite Spirit (Obadiah 1:1-21 Jeff Kliewer)

We're going to sing a few songs together. He is mighty to save, he is mighty to save, forever author of salvation. He rose and conquered the grave, Jesus conquered the grave. As you find me, all my fears and failures fill my life again.

I give my life to follow everything I believe in. Now I surrender, oh I surrender all. Savior, he can move the mountains. My God is mighty to save, he is mighty to save, forever author of salvation. He rose and conquered the grave, conquered the grave.

Shine your light and let the whole world see. We're singing for the glory of the risen king. Jesus, shine your light and let the whole world see. We're singing for the glory of the risen king. My God is mighty to save, he is mighty to save.

Redeemer, Jesus Christ. To open God's word, open our hearts, and take communion together. This is a great reminder of the salvation that we have. Something that we should always, daily remember. So that we don't have that prideful thing going in our heart that we've arrived, that we've done something.

Because it's not us, but everything through Christ. How to peace I hold, my hope is only Jesus. I long to follow Jesus. Thank you so much that we can now open your word.

We pray that through your word, you would transform us into the likeness of Christ. That is our prayer this morning, Lord, that we would be like Christ. We know that Christ is in us, we are new creations in him.

And we pray that you would make us more like him through studying your word. In Jesus name we pray, amen. The New York House Chamber erupted with celebration. The Senate, the House, the Governor, all of them excited, shouting, cheering.

Some of them were pounding on the tables. They were celebrating like their team just won the Super Bowl. What were they so happy about? January 2019, they had passed a law allowing the killing of innocent babies from the 24th week of pregnancy all the way through to the end of the term.

They were celebrating abortion, the killing of the innocent. And somehow this brought them great joy. In fact, Cuomo on that day lit up the World Trade Center pink as a celebration and a declaration really of gloating over the lives of these innocent babies.

A few days ago, the Texas Supreme Court, well the Supreme Court upheld a Texas ruling that babies could not be killed in the womb after the heartbeat is detected. And for that we give glory to God that he has worked in that way.

Now that is a bit of a two-edged sword because what it implies is that until the baby has a heartbeat at the six-week mark that it's still okay to kill children. We don't want to set that precedent.

But we see that in New York versus in Texas there's quite a difference. In one case there was moaning. In Texas the law was passed. Those who opposed that were very upset. It is really disheartening to see that there are those in our culture who would even celebrate and gloat over the death of the innocent.

I will call that the Edomite spirit for reasons we'll get to in the text. An Edomite spirit. An Edomite spirit gloats over the slaughter of the innocents. But the Christian spirit is quite different. Those of us who know Christ understand that we are called to intercede where the innocent are led to the slaughter.

We are called to interpose even to risk our lives if need be. To step in and rescue and help. So turn with me to Matthew chapter 2 verses 16 to 18. Today we will begin with the slaughter of the innocents.

Matthew 2, 16 to 18. It says,. Then Herod, when he saw that he had been tricked by the wise men, became furious and he sent and killed all the male children in Bethlehem and in all that region who were two years old and under according to the time that he had ascertained from the wise men.

Then was fulfilled what was spoken by the prophet Jeremiah. A voice was heard in Rama weeping and loud lamentation. Rachel weeping for her children. She refused to be comforted because they are no more.

This of course is the slaughter of the innocents where Herod trying to kill Jesus because the ultimate opposition of people in this world is not to us or to other people. It's ultimately a rebellion against God.

Those who do not know Christ as Savior rage against him and seek to blow his bonds apart. Psalm chapter 2. That is where this rage comes from. Herod was raging against Christ, sought to destroy Christ, couldn't get his hands on him and so in an effort to eliminate him killed the children of Bethlehem.

It's a horrifying story but some of you don't know this. That Herod himself was an Edomite. He was not an Israelite although he was reigning as king over Israel. He was a transplant from the local next nation over in the mountains east of Jerusalem.

There was a nation called Edom. These were actually the descendants of Esau. Jacob and Esau struggled within the womb and born as twins they were always against each other. Jacob tricking Esau. Well Esau grew to become a nation of his own and settled east of Israel and when the Israelites sought to come out of Egypt and come to the promised land Edom would not let them pass.

They were not their brother's keeper they were always opposed to Israel and here you have Herod the Edomite against the Israelites killing the innocent children, the babies of Bethlehem. Today we're going to spend a majority of our time in the book of Obadiah.

So did any of you have trouble finding Matthew? That might have been a hard book to find in your Bible. If you had trouble there this is going to be even harder but I think we can do it. Turn with me to the Old Testament book of Obadiah.

This book is only one page long 21 verses the shortest book in the Old Testament but we'll have a chance because it's so short to read the whole thing. You can find it by turning to Amos and then it's the next book over.

It's right before Jonah. When you've got it say I got it.

Y 'all got it? Alright.

Everybody on their iPhone is like why is this hard? Like it's a click of a button. So the book of Obadiah is very interesting. Some of you may never have read it so we'll have the opportunity as we go quickly through it to go through the whole thing.

It is a judgment against Edom. Once again who are the Edomites? Descendants of Esau. Okay so in the first nine verses we see that God is very angry with the Edomites and he is proclaiming judgment. Let's read it.

The vision of Obadiah and I will interject comments so be warned. This vision comes either in the 700 BC's or at 586 BC when the Babylonians conquer Jerusalem. It may have been an earlier occasion where the Philistines and Arabians ganged up.

Scholars are divided and it's really not important to know the circumstances of which one. What we need to understand though is that Jerusalem is being attacked and their brother Edom is perched like an eagle in its nest in the mountains above but they're unwilling to help.

So here's what God says. Thus says the Lord God concerning Edom. We have heard a report from the Lord and a message has been sent among the nations. Rise up. Let us rise against her for battle. So God is against the Edomites.

Behold I will make you small among the nations. You shall be utterly despised. The pride of your heart has deceived you. You who live in the clefts of the rock in your lofty dwelling who say in your heart who will bring me down to the ground.

Though you soar aloft like the eagle though your nest is set among the stars from there I will bring you down declares the Lord. So God is very angry with Edomites. They're resting secure up in their mountain clefts.

They're safe there because no one can climb the mountains and conquer them. Their main city is called Petra. Maybe you've seen it in Indiana Jones. They're high above the nations and they feel very secure.

They're not worried. Nobody can touch them. But God is angry at them because of what's going on in their hearts. They're prideful. Here's what he says about the judgment coming. Verse 5 through 9. If thieves came to you.

If plunderers came by night. How you have been destroyed. He pauses just to marvel at how bad this destruction will be. Would they not steal only enough for themselves? In other words if a burglar broke in he would just take the most valuable things that he wants.

But you're going to get plundered worse than that. This burglar is going to try to wipe you out and humiliate you and take everything that you have. Verse 6 or the end of verse 5. If grape gatherers came to you would they not leave gleanings?

Wouldn't a grape gatherer just take what he wanted not like every single grape? How Esau has been pillaged. His treasure sought out. All your allies have driven you to your border. Those at peace with you have deceived you.

They have prevailed against you. Those who eat your bread have set a trap beneath you. You have no understanding. Will I not on that day declares the Lord destroy the wise men out of Edom. And understanding out of Mount Esau.

And your mighty men shall be dismayed O Timon. Which is another name for a city in Esau in Edom. So that every man from Mount Esau will be cut off by slaughter. Sound like a good situation for Esau? No this is very very harsh judgment that is going to fall upon them.

So the question is this morning. Why is God so angry with Edom? What is this Edomite spirit this haughtiness of heart that he is so angry about? Fortunately we get that answer now in verse 10. The answer is they stand aloof over violence done to the innocent.

Verse 10. Because of the violence done to your brother Jacob. Shame shall cover you. And you shall be cut off forever. On the day that you stood aloof. On the day that strangers carried off his wealth.

And foreigners entered his gates and cast lots for Jerusalem. You were like one of them. And he'll go on to talk about gloating which we'll get to in a minute. But notice. What was the great sin of the Edomites?

When the attackers came upon Jerusalem. Their brother down in the valley. They stood aloof. They did nothing. They couldn't be touched. They couldn't be bothered. The violence that was done to their brother Jacob.

Was no concern to them at all.

They were aloof from it.

And so God was angry. This I will call the Edomite spirit. The Edomite spirit does not rescue the innocent. Because what does the innocent one have to do with them? It's not affecting them. It's not touching them.

And so the Edomite is not concerned. The Edomite spirit is exactly opposite. The spirit of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. In the perfection of the Trinity. Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Was complete in heaven and needed nothing. He was untouchable as he always is. No one can assail him. No one can go to heaven to bring him down. No one can attack him or harm him in any way, shape, or form.

He is complete. This doctrine is called the Aseity of God. But God is exactly opposite the Edomite. Seeing you, seeing I. In our sin, in our helplessness. Going to be destroyed because of our own sin.

While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. He left the glory and splendor of heaven. Something far greater than what the Edomites had in the mountains. And he came down and he took on flesh and blood like we have.

To rescue us from destruction. We were to be destroyed. And yet he interposed on our behalf. All we like sheep had gone astray. But he came like a lamb led to the slaughter. And died the death that we deserve.

He interceded. He did something. He stepped in to rescue us from certain destruction. And so the Edomite is unconcerned. But our Savior Christ is concerned for sinners. He is concerned for the vulnerable.

And he modeled for us what it is to intercede. In Isaiah 53 -12 it says,. Therefore, I will divide him a portion with the many. Speaking of Christ. And he shall divide the spoil with the strong. Speaking of us.

Because he poured out his soul to death. And was numbered with the transgressors. Yet he bore the sin of many. And makes intercession for the transgressors. I want to be like Christ. I have a long way to go.

And because I was born in 1977. And R .V. Wade was 1973. All I've ever known is that babies are aborted. In the United States of America. But too often I have been complacent about that. Whereas Christ modeled for me.

One who intercedes himself. Who goes and even risks his life. Giving his life. How often have I been more like an Edomite. Perched on high. Seeing this thing happen. But doing nothing. Now the Edomite sin was even worse than doing nothing.

Look at verses 12 -14. It says, but do not gloat over the day of your brother. In the day of his misfortune. Do not rejoice over the people of Judah. In the day of their ruin. Do not boast in the day of distress.

Do not enter the gate of my people. In the day of their calamity. Do not gloat over his disaster. In the day of his calamity. Do not loot his wealth in the day of his calamity. Do not stand at the crossroads.

To cut off his fugitives. Do not hand over his survivors. In the day of distress. What we see here brothers and sisters. Is that the Edomites. Not only did nothing to help. But they in fact delighted.

In the death of the innocent. They lit up the mountains pink. They clapped and they cheered. They celebrated and threw a party. For the death of the innocent.

Their brother.

In Israel. This is a horrifying thing. But it is not. Gone from the earth. The last Edomite. Escaped history. In the war of the Jews. In the first century. Herod and his family. Are some of the last known.

Esau himself. The first of the Edomites. When he realized. That. His punishment was falling upon him. The Bible tells us in Hebrews 12. He sought repentance. But could not find it. No matter how much he cried.

Why was that? Well he was lamenting the fact. That his reward was taken away. That he did not get the blessing. But there was no genuine. Repentance in his heart. Nothing changed. Esau's heart. The heart of the Edomites.

And then the heart of the Herods. Were all the same. Prideful. Gloating. Over the destruction of the innocent. It is a terrifying thing. Let's see then. In verses 15 to 20. The eternal distinction. That God makes between Edomites.

And Israelites. Between the house that belongs to God. And the house that does not. It says in verse 15. For the day of the Lord is near. Upon all the nations. As you have done. It shall be done to you.

Your deed shall return. On your own head. For as you have drunk on my holy mountain. So all the nations. Shall drink continually. They shall drink and swallow. And shall be as though. They had never been.

But in Mount Zion. There shall be those who escape. And it shall be.

Holy.

And the house of Jacob. Shall possess their own possessions. And the house of Jacob. Shall be afire. The house of Joseph aflame. And the house of Esau. Stubble. They shall burn them. And consume them.

And there shall be no survivor. For the house of Esau. For the Lord has spoken. And he did it in history. The Edomites were destroyed. But the Israelites continue to this day. And this looks forward to the eternal kingdom.

Where Israel will be established. Among the nations. Their present boundaries will be expanded. Even into Edom. All of these prophecies. Will come true in the millennium. Now look at verse 19. Those of the Negev shall possess Mount Esau.

And those of the Shephelah. Shall possess the land of the Philistines. They shall possess the land of Ephraim. And the land of Samaria. And Benjamin. A tribe of Israel. Shall possess Gilead. The exiles of this host.

Of the people of Israel. Shall possess the land of the Canaanites. As far as Zarephath. And the exiles of Jerusalem. Who are in Sepharad. Shall possess the cities of the Negev. So before we close. With the last point.

Notice.

God has made this eternal distinction. The house of Israel. The house of Esau. Israel will be established. It's the apple of God's eye. The kingdom. Will be established on earth. But Esau. Will be utterly eliminated.

This happened in history. God's judgment fell on this wicked people. God destroyed the Edomites. But the spirit of the Edomite. Lives on. The attitude of the heart. That has no concern. For anybody. But oneself.

And if.

Somebody's life does not affect mine. Then there is no concern. This spirit lives on. It even gloats. Over the death of the innocent. It mocks Christians. Who would seek to preserve. The life of babies.

You can watch videos online. Of people pleading with women. Not to abort their babies. And very often. You see. Those with an Edomite spirit. Mocking and delighting. And shouting.

Their abortion.

In the words of those. With the Edomite spirit. They shout their abortion. This goes on. In the United States of America today. It is not a long gone. Edomite spirit. It is alive and well. In terms of the attitude of the heart.

But I say verse 21. As the main verse I want to stress today. Because the idea. I think we're getting right. The Edomite sin. Is that they did nothing to rescue the innocent. In fact they did the opposite.

They gloated and they helped cut them off. When the fugitives ran out. Of Israel. The spirit of Christ. Is to interpose himself. He is a savior that comes to the rescue. But look at verse 21. We're told.

In Obadiah 21. Saviors. Shall go up. To Mount Zion.

To rule.

Mount Esau. And the kingdom. Shall be.

The Lord's.

Now the thing. Most of us probably noticed. Is that Savior. Is in the plural there. Christ is the one and only Savior. He is the Savior. He came to rescue a people like us. To be his own possession. But our text says.

Saviors. What's up with that? Saviors shall go up. To Mount Zion. See the kingdom at the end of verse 21. Refers to. The mustard seed. That was sown into the ground. And grew to become the biggest tree.

It refers to the rolling stone of Daniel 2. That crushed the kingdoms of the earth. And then became a mountain. That filled the whole earth. The kingdom is the rule. Of the Christ. Having died on the cross.

And risen from the dead. He ascended and he sat down. At the right hand of his father.

In heaven.

From where he rules the world. He is the one who holds the rod. In Psalm 2. He is the Christ. And he is the king of kings. And Lord of Lords. Jesus is the Savior. He has all authority. He says in Matthew 28.

Verses 18 to 20. All authority has been given unto me.

And so.

The kingdom belongs to Christ. This world is his. And he will have dominion over it. As the kingdom. Spreads like leaven. To the ends of the earth. The kingdom going forth. He uses men and women. Like us.

As lower case saviors. In the work of God. In verse 21. It says. Saviors shall go up to Mount Zion. Saviors. Who rescue. Saviors who interpose. For the innocent. When the innocent is being led to the slaughter.

A Savior comes. In the spirit of the Christ. Representing Christ. And pleads. With that person. And rescues the innocent. I officiated a wedding here yesterday. It was. Great pomp and circumstance. And I'd have to say.

That the groom would be the first to tell you. That he was rather eccentric. He came in with a top hat. And a cane. And he was rocking that. And it was great. It was really fun. But all of his groomsmen.

Had swords at their side. Which was awesome. But as I was coming in. One of them whispered to me.

Hey man.

Sorry we didn't get you a sword. And I said to him. Brother. I never go into the pulpit without my sword. Listen. Every one of you. Is equipped with the Savior's sword. The sword that's sharper than any.

Two edge sword. Able to divide the thoughts and intentions. Of a person's heart. And to divide between. Bone and marrow. It cuts deep. This here is the word of the living God. Ephesians 6 says it is the sword of the spirit.

We are equipped. With the message. Of the Savior. Now listen. He accomplished the work already. He died the death that we deserve. He was buried. He rose from the dead. And you are given this word. To go with this sword.

To proclaim his victory. To the ends of the earth. We have dominion over these streets. It will not be fully experienced. Until he comes in the flesh. And we reign with him. In the words of Paul to Timothy.

If we endure we shall reign with him. That's coming in the kingdom. The thousand year reign of Christ. Until then we battle. For every square inch of territory. Over this earth. How do we battle? We proclaim the Savior.

Savior in the plural. In verse 21. Of Obadiah. Refers to this generation. The kingdom established. And growing throughout the earth. Those who will go and preach. The message. Of Jesus Christ. What happens when you do that?

Well in conclusion to my sermon. When we preach Christ. Hearts are transformed. Even the Edomite spirit. That once gloated. In the death of the innocent. Can be cut and changed. By the power of the word of God.

And the Holy Spirit. We go out preaching. People will be saved. They will be discipled in the word. And they will learn to love their children. The hearts of the father. Will be turned to the children.

God is able to do this.

Through the word. But who will go? Will you go?

Will you be sent? We're going to give you an opportunity to do that. First I wanted to close. With the words. And this is amazing. A 13 year old wrote these words. Someone from this congregation. Now a bit older.

She was contemplating. The problem of abortion. And I think she wrote something. That's very profound. Let me read it to you. It's a poem. When my mom found out. She was to have me. I sensed she did not want this to be.

Feelings of much anger and guilt. Up inside her were built. Not once did I feel. Her smile gleam. What does this tragic feeling mean? Every night she cries. Her eyes out. I think it was me. She was crying about.

Then a terrible thought. Came into my head. As she lay. Sleeping in bed. Could the real truth be. That my mom does not love. And want me. Mom. I'm not just a blob of tissue. Like you read in that magazine issue.

Though I know. Though I now don't look exactly like you. I have arms. Legs. Feelings and a heartbeat too. That morning she cried. As she talked on the phone. And she chewed her nails. Right down to the bone.

She wrote on a piece of paper. A time and a date. Reassuring the nurse. On the other end. She won't be late. When the time came near for us to go. Her feelings for me started to show. She said. I made a mistake in having you.

But the doctor said it would be quickly through. You must understand. That I love you. And care. But raising a child is more than I could bear. As she drove to that horrible place. Then I realized. I'd never see my mom's face.

And as she signed the papers. I drew my last breath. And said goodbye mom. I wish we could have met. What I thought was so profound. About what this 13 year old wrote. Is that she understood. How conflicted that mother is.

She knew. That that mom is torn up. And herself. Destroyed on the inside. And what if. As she rode up. To that clinic. That murder mill. What if there was someone. Standing there proclaiming. We love you.

We will help you. We will do anything to rescue your baby. And to help you with anything you need. That mother. Might have said yes. To life. There is a difference that we can make. And we're going to hear about this in just a minute.

We have Brian Oettinger here. From Love Life. He's going to share with us. But as we close the sermon. We save communion for now. Because we realize this. Listen. There will be people here and listening.

Who have. Had an abortion. Or a man that's encouraged. A girlfriend to have an abortion. And you need to hear this. That this is not the unforgivable sin. That the blood of Christ. Can cover even this.

The blood of Christ. Is powerful enough. To cover any sin. And if you repent and turn. And through that blood you can be healed. And restored. So here's what I'd like to do. I'd like to ask the ushers.

If there's any that could grab. If you don't yet have the elements. Raise your hand if you didn't grab it on the way in. I've got to grab mine here. We save communion for the end. Because I want you to think about this.

Some of the sins that we commit. Are actually sins of omission. Not just sins of commission. Maybe. We have been standing aloof. To what's happening in this world. Maybe we haven't done anything. To come to the rescue.

And we all wish we could do more. We all fall short of his glory. But recognize now. As we take communion. That we can confess those things to God. Maybe we need to repent. For being apathetic. Toward the slaughter of the innocents.

If you've had an abortion. Repent of that. Believe in the gospel. That the blood of Jesus can wash you clean from that sin. And make you new. You can be forgiven. You are forgiven. In Christ when you believe in him.

This represents that. Let's take a moment. Each of us. To just pray and confess these sins to the Lord. And ask him. For forgiveness and cleansing. In the name of Jesus. Let's pray. Just pray on your own.

Amen.

For I received from the Lord what I also delivered to you. That the Lord Jesus. On the night when he was betrayed. Took bread. And you can take the plastic off the top. There's a small piece of bread.

And when he had given thanks. He broke it and said. This is my body. Which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me. And now if you'll take the cup. In the same way also. He took the cup after supper.

Saying this cup. Is the new covenant in my blood. Do this. As often as you drink it. In remembrance of me. I'd like to invite the worship team to come forward. Let's sing a song. Before we hear from the love life guys.

Having taken communion. We can have confidence now. Remembering what Christ. Has already done once and for all. For us. We are reminded of his blood. And how our sins are washed away. And we thank God for it.

Let's sing stand with us.

Father's wrath. Completely satisfied. Jesus.

Thank you.

Once your enemy. Now seated at your table. Jesus. Thank you. Perfect sacrifice. I've made. Itches of your blood. Has washed away my sin. Jesus. Thank you. Father's wrath. Completely satisfied. Jesus. Thank you.

Once your enemy. Now seated at your table. Jesus. Thank you. Lover of my soul. Lover of my soul. I want to lift up. Your blood. Washed away my sin. Jesus. Thank you. Completely satisfied. Jesus. Once your enemy.

Now seated at your table. Jesus. Thank you.

Amen you may be seated. In January of 2019. I flew down to Atlanta. For the G3 conference. It was tons of people there. I hit it off with one person in particular. His name was Brian. The two of us were hanging out a little bit.

Got to know each other. I came back to New Jersey. One day. I went out to the abortion clinic. To try to preach. It was just me by myself. Prayer walking. Trying to speak to the women. Took my cell phone.

Videoed myself doing that for a minute. Somehow. Someone saw that video. Was connected with. Charlotte. Where Brian had become part of a ministry. Called love life. When they recommended me. Talk to love life.

We found out we already knew each other. From Atlanta at the conference. God providentially. Brought us together as friends. Before bringing us into. This fight together. I want to introduce to you guys.

Brian from Charlotte. The love life ministry.

That's a cool story. I thought it was cool. I just want to send some greetings. On behalf of my family. I'm married to a beautiful. Colombian woman from South America. Carolina. We have five sons. She sends us up here.

I'm a pastor of a church. Missing them today. They have sent me here. On behalf of the kingdom of God. Thank you for allowing me to be here. I want to honor you guys. As a church. If it wasn't for your yes.

To stand up for the word of God. The truth of God. I wouldn't be here. I want to honor pastor Jeff and his family. I'm assuming it is. You guys are sitting pretty close. Let's give it up for pastor Jeff.

Let's honor him. We are in the last days. Men become. Lovers of. The tickling of their own ears. We love. Our society loves. We live in a society of destruction. It is encouraging to come up. From the bible belt.

To the northeast. We consider this the land of the lost. We come up here. We know there is hope. We know there is a remnant. We know God is still moving in all places. In New Jersey and New York. To the ends of the earth.

I want to ask my son Jake to come up here. This is my oldest son Jake. He is 17. It is a privilege to be able to travel with my son. He is the oldest of my five sons. I want to share a personal story.

The Lord saved me radically in 2010. I was 32 years old. I had a plethora of sin in my past. I was a radical sinner. I used to tell people. The Lord saved me in an instant. I became a radical Christian.

I have been doing evangelism. I have been doing street ministry. I did all kinds of things. I was discipled by some very godly dudes. I ended up feeling the call in my life to become a pastor. Eventually a church planner.

It was in 2016 that guys started showing up to my church. Wearing these pretty blue love life shirts. They were like, hey pastor. You need to come to the prayer walk. I was like, prayer walk? What is that?

I had never heard of that. What is the t-shirt thing? If you guys have a book. It is a vision booklet. If you pull that up, you will see on the first page there. Our founder. I saw the guy who was kind of behind this ministry.

I was like, that is not even a real guy. That looks like a stock photo. When you go to Marshalls, you get the photo frame. You see this fake family. I was like, that is not even a real person. I was very skeptical of this ministry called love life.

People kept inviting me out. They brought me to this week 40 prayer walk. I think we are going to show you guys a video in a minute. You will see the masses and multitude of Christians. Standing outside the abortion center.

Worshipping. I got there. They were preaching the gospel. Check one. This is a ministry that is going to be solved through the local church. I am a pastor. Check two. They talked about abortion not in a watered down way.

They called it murder. Check three. They pronounced that Jesus was the only way and the solution to this issue. Check four. The next box that got checked, I didn't even know needed to be checked. At the time, Jake was probably 13.

He looked at me that day. I had a couple of my sons with me. He said, hey dad, have you ever had an abortion? I have never been one to hide my past from my kids. I don't know if it just didn't come out or what.

When he asked me that question, I began weeping. He started weeping with me. He grabbed me and he was hugging me. I realized the box that needed to be checked was I needed some restoration and healing.

Theologically, I have been to seminary. I learned that I was justified by faith alone, through grace alone, and Christ alone. There is still a part of my heart where I felt like God was angry with me.

I just didn't feel like he forgave me totally. It wasn't until I came face to face with this issue and people speaking about it that it started to really bring healing and restoration to my heart. My family started getting involved.

I don't know if you've ever seen those little plastic baby models, the 12-week babies. They hand those out at the prayer walks. My little kids would stuff their pockets with them. We'd come home and it was like the new toy.