The Twin Pillars of a Godly Marriage - “The Role of a Husband” (Part 6)

Kootenai Church

Subscribe

Download

Share

00

00:00

It is time to begin, huh? All right, well, as we do that, why don't you open your

00:06

Bibles? Let's start there. Get your Bibles open to the fifth chapter of Paul's letter to the church at Ephesus.

00:13

Ephesians chapter five, Ephesians chapter five.

00:20

And we'll begin with a word of prayer. Our Father, what a delight to return together again to this marvelous text.

00:32

We pray for clarity this morning. Clarity in terms of what

00:38

I say and clarity in terms of those who hear to be able to receive it.

00:47

Father, we know that when we study the Scriptures together, we in a very real way enter into your presence.

00:56

And it's our desire that your Spirit would do his good work in us this morning.

01:02

There's something here for all of us, Father, and we know that to be true. We know it in faith. So we pray that you would help us to unite that faith with a receiving spirit that we might find that place in our lives where we need to change to become more like Christ.

01:23

And so we ask your Spirit's help in that. In Jesus' name, amen. All right, welcome, come on all in.

01:31

We are in the fifth chapter, Ephesians chapter five.

01:38

And I think what we'll do is go back and read the whole section again, just kind of set the context.

01:45

Because we are at the last session on marriage this morning.

01:53

We finished the marriage section this morning. Next week we come back in chapter six and we have two messages with regard to child raising.

02:03

So teaching your child to do right in a world that does wrong. So that's chapter six, early part.

02:10

And then we have three with regard to slavery. And of course we will be making application of that.

02:17

Since we don't live in a slave culture, we will make application to employment. And I think there is some good application that we can make with regard to that.

02:26

So that's the plan, that's the plan. Let's read the text and get ourselves started here.

02:32

So beginning in verse 15 of the fifth chapter. Therefore, Paul says, be careful how you walk, not as unwise men, but as wise, making the most of your time because the days are evil.

02:47

So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not get drunk with wine for that is dissipation, but be filled by the spirit.

02:58

Speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the

03:06

Lord and always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the

03:12

Father. And be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. Wives to your own husbands as to the

03:19

Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ also is the head of the church, he himself being the savior of the body.

03:27

But as the church is subject to Christ, so also wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.

03:35

Husbands, love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for her so that he might sanctify her having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word that he might present to himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing but that she would be holy and blameless.

03:59

So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself.

04:08

For no one ever hated his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it just as Christ also does the church because we are members of his body.

04:20

For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh.

04:28

This mystery is great but I am speaking with reference to Christ and church.

04:34

Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.

04:46

So in a bit of a review, let's just kind of review the bidding here as it were.

04:53

We looked and I don't even remember, I was gonna check how many weeks ago it was but it was now months, it should be measured in months ago that we looked at the aspects, seven of them, of a wife's submission, seven aspects of a wife's submission and we noted that a wife's submission is voluntary, it is voluntary.

05:12

In other words, like all obedience to Christ, it is a voluntary work on the part of the believer and we noted as well that there is no place where a husband is commanded to make his wife submit to him because that would be an impossibility.

05:28

Secondly, we learned that the wife's submission is specific to your own husband, not all men generally, one woman to one man.

05:38

We also learned that the wife's submission is devotional as to the Lord, it is an act of devotion, it is an act of worship.

05:46

Fourth, we learned that it is comprehensive, comprehensive and we saw that in the end of verse 24, to their husbands in everything, everything is a comprehensive kind of word.

05:57

So a wife's submission is comprehensive and then fifth, respectful, respectful.

06:02

We saw that in verse 33, see that she respects her husband. Sixth, that it is difficult, difficult, that a wife's submission is a difficult reality that she is called to and in fact, it is an impossibility unless back to verse 18, she is being filled by the

06:24

Spirit. It is the fruit of a Spirit -filled life, that is true of a wife, it is true of a

06:29

Christian husband as well. And seventh and finally, that a wife's submission to her husband is beautiful, is an absolutely beautiful act.

06:39

And then we turn to the husbands and for the husbands, we have 14 characteristics as is only fair because that's the way

06:48

Paul wrote it. So the way Paul wrote it, we have 14 there, 14 characteristics of the husband's authority so that we might understand it, appreciate it and exercise it in a

07:00

Christ -honoring fashion in both our homes and our marriages. There we noted that a husband's authority is unavoidable.

07:09

It is an unavoidable authority, the husband is the head of the wife, that is an indicative statement, it's a statement of reality.

07:16

It is an unavoidable authority. Secondly, that the husband's authority is covenantal, it is covenantal.

07:24

A particular man assumes the responsibilities of leadership authority over a particular woman when they exchange vows, when they exchange vows, pledging their loyalty and declaring their respective responsibilities to each other in the covenant of marriage.

07:42

A husband's authority is covenantal. Third, the husband's authority is reflective, it is a reflective authority and the model for the husband's exercise of his authority is

07:55

Christ himself and we see that just as Christ. We saw a fourth that the husband's authority is primary.

08:03

It is a primary authority because the man is the one who initiates the covenant. He is the one who initiates the covenant and we see that in a wedding ceremony where the husband always makes the first vows and the wife, or the, yeah,

08:18

I guess the wife -to -be, when she finishes, she is, she responds to his vows.

08:23

So that makes it such that he bears the primary responsibility for the state of his own marriage because he is primary in the covenant.

08:34

That doesn't mean that the wife is not responsible before God for her own sin, yes, she is, or that she has no authority in the home but it does mean in the final analysis he must take the action to grow and strengthen the state of his marriage and not try to slough off his responsibilities onto his wife, his authority is primary.

08:58

Fifth, the husband's authority is loving, it is loving. In other words, it is patterned after the relationship.

09:06

We saw this over in 1 Corinthians 11 between father and son, between son and the church and thus between husband and wife.

09:16

The husband's love for his wife must be tender, it must be knowledgeable and it must be effectual as the love of Christ is for his church.

09:26

Sixth, the husband's authority is sacrificial, sacrificial. A husband uses his authority to serve his wife in the various spheres of the marriage and the home.

09:37

It is a sacrificial authority. Seventh, it is protective, it is a protective authority.

09:46

Christian husband uses his authority to protect his wife rather than take advantage of her.

09:53

And this protection is physical, it is spiritual and it is emotional. A husband's authority is a protective authority.

10:03

Eight, a husband's authority is life -giving, life -giving. As a man naturally cares tenderly for his own body,

10:10

Paul tells us, so he ought to care tenderly for his wife because they are one body, having become one flesh through the covenant of marriage.

10:22

Nine, a husband's authority is convicting. We looked at this last week, a husband's authority is convicting.

10:30

A Christian husband contemplates the weightiness of his God -assigned authority.

10:36

He becomes convicted of both his sin and his shortcomings in the areas of his marriage.

10:42

And he recognizes that he does not love and does not serve like Christ does.

10:48

And that is convicting, it is convicting. And I'm glad it is not left there, huh?

10:55

Glad it's not left there. Because 10th, the husband's authority is sanctifying, sanctifying, because the

11:04

Spirit uses his word to convict us as husbands of our shortcomings and our sins, we are driven back to the gospel of grace whereby we find forgiveness and the courage to try again.

11:19

And this sanctifying process is designed to make us like Christ, to make us like Christ.

11:25

We do not become like Christ without adversity. And then I gave you a riddle last week.

11:32

I said, if you want to be like Christ, don't get married. And if you want to be like Christ, get married.

11:40

You want to be like Christ, don't get married. If you want to be like Christ, get married.

11:46

In other words, if you want to be like Christ who was never married, then don't get married.

11:54

But if you want to be like Christ in terms of growing in holiness, there is nothing better than marriage because marriage will bring you face to face with your sin and your shortcomings in a way that no other relationship can.

12:14

You've heard me say it before, too many rats in the same cage inevitably produces conflict.

12:20

Marriage produces conflict, it produces conflict. That is unavoidable.

12:27

The question becomes is how is the conflict resolved? Is it resolved in a Christian fashion through confession and forgiveness, repentance?

12:37

Then it is to grow in the likeness of Christ in that way. It provides a tremendous opportunity for Christian growth.

12:45

So you want to be like Christ, get married. Get married and learn to love and serve.

12:51

Learn to love and serve. That takes us to number 11. And we will finish this morning.

12:58

Number 11, the husband's authority is illustrative. The husband's authority is illustrative.

13:10

Verse 30, here in chapter five, where he says, because we are members of his body.

13:17

For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh.

13:25

This mystery is great, but I am speaking with reference to Christ in the church.

13:32

Now these verses here, verses 30 to 32, create a bit of a, what I would call a digression for the

13:38

Apostle Paul. It's not a complete digression, like he's not completely off topic, but he has moved in these verses, he does move.

13:46

And he moves from a discussion primarily of the husband's role in a marriage to elaborate upon the mystery of Christ.

13:55

The mystery of Christ and his church. Something that he has been weaving in and out of his teaching, going all the way back to verse 22, right?

14:04

Be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord. So this mystery of Christ and his church has been moving in and out and in and out of the text along the way.

14:13

And now, in a little more focused fashion, he takes this digression. You see, for example, in verse 32, where he says,

14:24

I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. So that means I'm not speaking primarily in reference to a husband and his wife.

14:32

I am speaking in reference to Christ and the church. And then notice down to verse 33, where we begin with the word nevertheless, which indicates that this digression is ending and he is returning back to the topic, which he does.

14:48

Nevertheless, each individual among you also ought to love his own wife as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.

14:54

So he rounds it out by returning back directly to the topic at hand. But we have a digression here.

15:01

And this digression is really significant, actually. It's very significant.

15:07

And there is a profound truth located here for us. Now, notice at the end of verse 29, he says, just as Christ also does the church because we are members of his body.

15:21

In other words, we are members of the body of Christ. And so Christ cares for us, he cares for us, and his care for us becomes a perfect example, a perfect example for the husband to care for his wife.

15:36

Christ's care for the church is the reality. The husband's care for his wife is the imperfect reflection of that reality.

15:45

So the reality is lodged in the care of Christ for his church, that profound theological truth.

15:51

And then the husband, for us, our care for our wives is simply the imperfect reflection of the reality of Christ's care for his church.

16:02

For this reason, Paul continues, verse 31. He's quoting now Genesis 2 .24,

16:08

for this reason. And there, in Genesis 2 .24, we see the original reason given for marriage, for this reason, right?

16:17

So this is a direct quote here. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh.

16:24

Now, for what reason? And for that, we really should turn back to Genesis. So go back to Genesis 2, where we see the original text.

16:42

Paul's quoting here, verse 24. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother. The obvious question is, for what reason?

16:50

For what reason shall a father leave, or excuse me, a man leave his father and his mother?

16:56

And we find that in verse 18, actually, here in Genesis. The Lord God said, it is not good for a man to be alone.

17:04

I will make a helper suitable for him. There's the reason that, verse 24, a man leaves his father and his mother and is joined to his wife.

17:12

That is the reason given back in Genesis 2 .24.

17:18

Chapter two, shoot back to Ephesians five with me now. And it is the logic, it is the logic for Paul's words here in verse 28 about husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies.

17:33

The logic behind it is because they are one flesh. They are one flesh. But there's something more to this.

17:40

There's something more significant to this. And here, in verse 30, what we see is that Paul is now referring to a, if I can call it this way, a deeper truth or a deeper reality because we are members of his body.

17:57

Because we are members of his body. Paul calls this, look at verse 32, a mystery.

18:05

He calls it a mystery. This mystery is great. What mystery, Paul? Did a husband and wife become one flesh?

18:11

That's a mystery, in a sense. I mean, but no, that's not the mystery he's talking about. I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.

18:20

That's the mystery he's talking about. That's the deeper reality that lies behind Genesis 2 .24.

18:29

Is it not good for a man to be alone? Should he have a helper suitable to him? Absolutely.

18:34

Was it a deficiency in the original creation? Yes, a temporary one. It was not good, God said.

18:39

And then it is very good. But it is not just that horizontal reality.

18:45

It is not just that. There's actually something far deeper than that going on. And Paul is addressing it here in what he calls the mystery.

18:53

The mystery. Now, in the book of Ephesians, Paul talks about the mystery a lot.

18:59

He speaks of the mystery a lot. And what is it? It is the reference to the reconciliation of Jew and Gentile together in one body by virtue of their faith union with Christ.

19:12

It's something that was previously unforeseen in the Old Testament, but has now been made manifest in the

19:18

New. This mystery, we learn in chapter one and verse four, was predestined by the

19:27

Father before the foundation of the world, right? Just as he chose us in Christ before the foundation of the world that we would be holy and blameless before him.

19:36

It was something accomplished in time and space through the death, burial, resurrection, and ascension of Christ.

19:43

We see that verse nine, he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his kind intention, which he purposed in him.

19:51

We go over to chapter three, verses three and four. By revelation, it was made known to me, the mystery, as I wrote before in brief, by referring to this when you read it, you can understand my insight into the mystery of Christ.

20:04

Verse nine, to bring to light what is the administration of the mystery, which for ages has been hidden in God who created all things.

20:13

In chapter six and verse 19, pray on my behalf that utterance may be given to me in the opening of my mouth to make known with boldness the mystery of the gospel.

20:27

The mystery. The mystery is this. That which was unforeseen in the old and now revealed here in the new is that Jew and Gentile on equal footing by virtue of their faith union with Christ now stand perfect in the sight of the father.

20:47

Now, back to Ephesians five. I think we can say about verse 31 simply this.

20:56

Paul is saying that ultimately God instituted marriage because the church is

21:03

Christ's body. I want you to think about that. Paul is saying here ultimately the ultimate, the deep reason, if I were to speak like C .S.

21:15

Lewis, the deep magic behind all of this is the reality that God instituted marriage not just for human flourishing, it does that, but that is not a sufficient reason in and of itself.

21:30

It is ultimately because the church is Christ's body. Therefore, that means

21:38

God designed marriage to illustrate this deep reality.

21:44

And just like the husband's authority is unavoidable here in verse 23, right? The husband is the head of the wife, so marriage is unavoidable in that it paints a picture of the gospel.

21:57

Let me stop there and think about that. The ultimate reality, the deep truth is the relationship of Christ and his church.

22:05

Marriage, marriage illustrates that reality. It illustrates that reality.

22:14

That is transformational. That is absolutely transformational. Well, in what way?

22:23

Well, how about this? First and foremost, it means marriage is not about our happiness.

22:29

It is about the glory of God. It is about the glory of God.

22:36

That lifts it completely out of the horizontal plane and elevates it, it elevates it.

22:42

My marriage, your marriage is about the glory of God.

22:48

And that changes everything about the way we view marriage, about the way we view it.

22:58

Men, by virtue of God's design, by virtue of God's design, through our marriage, we cannot refrain from speaking about Christ and his church.

23:15

That is the deep reality of which marriage is the reflection, marriage is the illustration.

23:23

That means how we conduct ourselves in our marriage is illustrating what we believe about Christ and his church.

23:35

If we are faithfully, lovingly, and sacrificially serving our wives, gentlemen, then we are communicating accurately about how

23:45

Christ faithfully loves and sacrificially serves his bride, the church. But if we are self -absorbed, if we are neglectful, if we are harsh or detached, then we are communicating that Christ is that way toward his church.

24:10

And that's blasphemous, that is blasphemous. Every marriage paints a picture of Christ and his church.

24:22

Every marriage paints a picture of Christ and his church. It is an unavoidable reality because God designed marriage to be the illustration of the deep truth of Christ and his church.

24:40

Now, that could be discouraging. It could be discouraging if you've painted a terrible picture, it could be.

24:49

But here's where the gospel comes in, right? Here's where the gospel intersects this. The reality is that through the gospel, we can rebuild what the locusts have eaten.

25:03

We can rebuild what the locusts have eaten. How? Romans chapter 12 is how.

25:16

I don't wanna get lost here, but I don't wanna leave you either with a boat anchor rather than a life preserver.

25:25

So go to Romans chapter 12, verses one and two, where Paul writes, therefore,

25:36

I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.

25:48

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

26:01

We are to remember the mercies of God. In other words, we are to remember what God in Christ has done for us.

26:07

And you know what? If you can't remember anything else, remember this, chapter five and verse one, where Paul writes, therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our

26:18

Lord Jesus Christ. In other words, God is at peace with us. It's not about whether we're at peace with him.

26:23

That's irrelevant. It's a byproduct. It's that through the gospel, we are justified and God is at peace with us.

26:31

So we remember that reality. Secondly, we relinquish ourselves to serve

26:37

God. We relinquish ourselves to serve God. And thirdly, we resist the world's attempt to conform us to its corrupted way of thinking.

26:48

And then fourth, we renew our minds. We renew our minds. That is the process of gospel change.

26:56

That is, gentlemen and ladies, the only means by which we can repaint the pictures of our marriages.

27:05

And it's something, by the way, that we'll repaint many, many times. Many, many times. Back to Ephesians five.

27:14

And as I told you many, many months ago now, this entire section is dependent upon this, this indicative, this, yes, this command's imperative to be filled by the

27:31

Spirit. In other words, the playing out of the wife's roles and the husband's roles are the reality of walking by the

27:41

Spirit. This is what walking by the Spirit looks like. It's what it looks like in a marriage for a man.

27:47

This is what it looks like in a marriage for a woman. You get down to chapter six. This is what it'll look like for a child. We'll get a little further, and this is what it'll look like for a slave, okay?

27:57

Walking by the Spirit. So a husband's authority is illustrative.

28:02

Number 12, 12. A husband's authority is evangelistic. A husband's authority is evangelistic.

28:10

Because marriage is designed to communicate deep truth about the relationship of Christ and his church, it is unavoidably evangelistic.

28:20

It is unavoidably evangelistic. Think about it this way. All other religions, in all other religions, the worshiper's purpose lies in serving the deity.

28:33

Their purpose lies in serving the deity. Christianity alone is a relationship between the believer and the loving father that has been brought about by God taking to himself human flesh and coming to serve and save his people.

28:54

That is entirely revolutionary and different than all other religions, all other religions.

29:00

Christianity stands apart. And that vision of Christian marriage that Paul's been painting for us here, beginning in verse 22 and running all the way to 33, that flips the world on its head.

29:14

That flips the world on its head. It is not the normal experience of fallen man for whom marriage is about seeking my needs and giving in order to get.

29:28

It flips it on its complete head. It's now about what can I give? How can

29:33

I serve? How can I emulate the one who came and served and gave everything that I might be a child of God?

29:49

For many men, marriage could be summed up as happy wife, happy life, right?

29:55

And that becomes the focus. That becomes the focus. And that focus plays out with either an abdication of authority in order to keep peace in the home, just give her her way, which, by the way, sows the seed of frustration and discontentment.

30:14

Or it's to indulge your wife materially, just buy her stuff, buy her off.

30:24

And at the same time, you go ahead and indulge yourself while you're at it. Happy wife, happy life, give her what she wants, buy her off.

30:36

But Paul's vision of marriage is so much different, isn't it? It is a visual display of the sacrificial love of Christ for his bride, and that is so different that people cannot help but notice it.

30:51

They can't help it. And when they notice it, they will ask questions.

30:57

They will ask questions of you. And it's in answering those questions of why we sacrificially love our wives, gentlemen.

31:08

It's in answering those questions, ladies, about why you respectfully submit to your husband's authority in marriage that we can naturally speak about the change that Christ has brought in us.

31:21

Why do we live counter -culturally? It's because we're not of this world. Our values are not derived from this world.

31:31

We're of the world to come. We're citizens of the world to come. And we are in the power of the

31:37

Spirit beginning to live out that reality in the here and now. We can speak about the life -changing power of the gospel of Christ, and we can do it in our homes, assuming we open our homes and let the world in, assuming we have relationships with those who know not

32:05

Christ, in which there are abundant opportunities for children's school teachers and music teachers and sports coaches and neighbors and extended family members and coworkers and on and on it goes, even fellow believers who are just coming to terms to what it means to be a

32:28

Christian husband or a wife. There are tremendous opportunity for gospel growth here as we live out our faith in our marriage.

32:39

As they observe and speak with other believers who are a bit further along in bringing their marriages under the sanctifying power of the

32:46

Holy Spirit, they are drawn ever deeper into the gospel. A husband's authority is evangelistic.

32:59

It is evangelistic. It is preaching all the time, all the time. 13, a husband's authority is stabilizing, stabilizing.

33:13

This is not news to anybody, but the American home is in trouble. The American home is in trouble.

33:19

And with it, so is our overall societal health. We are in serious trouble.

33:26

We have generationally broken marriages now. We have an abundance of single mothers, absentee fathers.

33:38

And that has produced conditions in which poverty and substance abuse and childhood trauma thrive.

33:47

Thrive. We are watching the dissolution of our culture.

33:56

And in response to these conditions, the federal government has stepped into the void and begun to act as a surrogate husband, a surrogate husband who tries to provide for the vulnerable.

34:13

And while this substitution of husbands with regard to single moms may provide a measure of temporary relief, in the long run, it just further elbows men to the sidelines and reinforces the antisocial behavior.

34:27

It is a death spiral. Beloved, the antidote to societal destruction caused by broken marriages is the gospel.

34:41

It is the gospel. That is the antidote. It's the only antidote. As men are regenerated by the

34:47

Holy Spirit and place their faith in the finished work of Christ, they receive the spiritual power and motivation to change the direction of their lives.

34:58

Society is transformed. One person at a time. Marriage is transformed one person at a time, one conversion at a time.

35:11

Once converted, the men are no longer aimless, no longer seeking temporal pleasure. They now begin to emulate a life of Christ, their

35:20

Savior, a life of service. And the place where this shows up best is at the very basis of all human society, and that is marriage.

35:31

That is marriage. Godly husbands who are sacrificially loving and serving their wives provide a stable home environment regardless of income levels, regardless of income.

35:44

It is the single biggest predictor of childhood delinquency.

35:50

It is not income. It is not income. And those who do not provide are vulnerable regardless of the size of the paycheck.

36:05

Godly fathers teach their sons how to lovingly lead a woman by example, by example.

36:12

Their sons recognize that a woman is God's wonderful creation and image bearer, not an object to be used to satisfy their unholy desires and ambitions.

36:24

Where do men learn how to treat a woman? They learn from their father. They learn from their father. Men, as your sons watch you lovingly serve and lead your wife, they learn what it looks like to be a godly man and a godly husband.

36:42

Christian fathers teach their daughters by word and deed what godly male love and affection looks like so that those young ladies don't seek substitutes from other men whose motives may be far less pure.

37:04

People talk a lot about social justice these days, don't they? They talk about social justice. I believe the greatest social justice movement would be for Christian husbands to begin to take seriously their roles, their responsibilities in their homes.

37:21

To recapture Paul's gospel vision for marriage and display it in the public arena.

37:35

14, a husband's authority is attractive. We'll finish here. A husband's authority is attractive.

37:42

It is attractive. Remember we said that a woman's submission is beautiful, and it is. And a husband's authority when exercised in emulation of Christ is attractive.

37:56

It is attractive. God has woven his wisdom into the creation.

38:02

He has woven it into the creation. If you don't know this, you need to. So take a look at Proverbs chapter six as just one example of many.

38:15

If you've never thought about this, maybe this is a new thought for you. God has woven his wisdom into the creation.

38:22

Proverbs chapter six, verses six through eight. Go to the aunt,

38:29

O sluggard. Observe her ways and be wise, which having no chief, officer, or ruler prepares her food in the summer and gathers her provision in the harvest.

38:38

How long will you lie down, O sluggard? And when will you arise from your sleep? Listen, wisdom has been built into the creation by God.

38:48

And it's there for all to observe. And that means that wisdom is continually speaking, continually speaking, whether a person hears it or not.

39:02

Whether a person hears it or not. Chapter one, verses 20 and 23.

39:10

Wisdom shouts in the street. She lifts her voice in the square. At the head of the noisy street she cries out.

39:17

At the entrance of the gates in the city she utters her sayings. How long, O naive ones, will you love being simple -minded?

39:25

And scoffers delight themselves in scoffing. And fools hate knowledge. Turn to my reproof.

39:31

Behold, I will pour out my spirit on you and I will make my words known to you. Listen, wisdom is constantly, constantly speaking.

39:40

Speaking. The question is, is anybody listening?

39:46

Is anybody listening? Back to Ephesians. The marriage relationship is one of the venues in which wisdom speaks, in which wisdom speaks.

40:05

It's where, among many, but it is where God's wisdom pours forth. And when that is received by a heart of faith it is very attractive, it is very attractive.

40:17

Just as the heavens declare the glory of God, so a Christian marriage declares his glory, declares his glory.

40:28

Now, this message runs counter to prevailing culture. We acknowledge that.

40:34

But guess what? It ran contrary to prevailing culture in Paul's day too. It's always run contrary to prevailing culture, ever since the fall.

40:46

And therefore, we should not expect it to be immediately greeted with open arms, but that doesn't make it unattractive.

40:57

That does not make it unattractive. Think about it this way with me. The roles and responsibilities of a husband and wife were established by God in the garden.

41:11

And thus they are a bit like watching the sunset over the Grand Canyon. Have you ever seen that? Have you ever been to the

41:18

Grand Canyon to see the sunset? If you haven't, you should. You should.

41:26

But once you go there, there's crowds all the time, and you will undoubtedly hear some person say that, yeah, that's not so really such a big deal.

41:41

It's not that beautiful. Listen, if you do not find the sunset over the

41:47

Grand Canyon beautiful and exhilarating, the deficiency is yours, not the sunsets.

41:55

The same could be said of the Mona Lisa. If you look at it and you go, eh, it doesn't really do much for me, guess what? It's not on trial, you are.

42:06

The same model could be said about God's model for marriage, the same reality. Those with eyes see it, and it is beautiful and attractive, and they're drawn to it.

42:18

They're drawn to it. One of my favorite childhood toys was introduced in 1960.

42:32

1960, so for a third of you, you have no idea what

42:40

I'm talking about. 1960, did they have a wheel back then? Yeah, we had a wheel, too.

42:47

We even had fire. It was called an Etch -A -Sketch. It was called an

42:54

Etch -A -Sketch. Do you know that it came to be recognized as one of the 100 most memorable and creative toys of the 20th century?

43:02

An Etch -A -Sketch. It allowed a person to draw a picture by turning two knobs, which moved the stylus along an

43:11

X -Y axis beneath a glass screen covered with magnetic dust, essentially what it was.

43:21

And the tip of the stylus would move up and down and side to side, and it would result in a line, and the line corresponded to the movement of the dials.

43:30

And if you were really good, you could get a circle. You could get a circle.

43:39

But here's the cool thing about the Etch -A -Sketch. If you made a mistake and you messed up the picture, all you have to do is turn it over and shake it, and it reapplies the magnetic dust to the back side of that glass screen again, and you start all over.

43:54

You can start all over again. There's no limit to how many times you can do that.

44:03

And that's why I think the Etch -A -Sketch is a perfect illustration of marriage, no matter how many times we mess it up, we can start again and redraw it.

44:17

And that is the grace of God. It is the grace of God. We have to act.

44:25

We cannot just sit motionless. We do need to turn the knobs as it were, but it is

44:37

God's grace. It is God's grace to us that over and over and over and over again until we begin to get it right.

44:52

You can't fail, gentlemen. You cannot fail because Christ has accomplished it for you.

45:03

You are now merely working out what he worked in. You cannot fail.

45:12

But you must begin. You must begin. Ladies, I would say the same, the same.

45:22

Well, that's all that I have from what Paul had there. Come back next week as he begins to apply walking by the spirit to the raising of children.

45:35

Let's pray. Father, thank you. Thank you that you are so tender.

45:44

You are so merciful with your children. You do never give up on us.

45:52

You're never sitting as it were on the throne with your arms crossed and a scowl on your face and saying, what is wrong with you people?

46:01

Why don't you get it together? Oh no, oh no. You are like the prodigal father who reaches down and hikes up his robe, fastens it in his belt and runs to meet his prodigal son.

46:23

That is how you respond to us. That is how you treat us.

46:32

And that is because your son has paid it all. There is no debt for us.

46:40

Having been justified by faith, we now have peace with you.

46:46

You are at peace with us. Your love for us cannot be improved by our obedience, nor can it be diminished in the slightest by our failures and our sins.

47:01

We are perfect in Christ. And you have not left us alone.

47:10

Christ said he wouldn't leave us alone. He sent his spirit and his spirit resides within us.

47:18

He jealously desires to make us like Christ. What an opportunity that is, oh

47:29

Lord. Please humble us. Please wound us where we need to be wounded that the healing balm of the gospel would come and bring us help.