How Do I Know If I'm Gossiping?

Mean you see it everywhere and it sells it for sure sells. I mean even as you know as like as content creators on the internet

One of the things that you'll see time and time and time again is as people love to hear like negative things about other people

You All right,

Tim the question for today's episode is how do I know if I'm gossiping Yeah, gossiping is one of those words that many people throw around So it's like an easy word to throw around in general, but then in a lot of ways it is

Somewhat of a difficult concept to define I mean, I think everyone knows what you're talking about when you're talking about gossip in general

So it's one of those words that most people know like if I'm gossiping, you know that you're gossiping but then it's it's also kind of a respectable sin right now and Because it's a respectable sin.

There's plenty of people who will deny ever doing it essentially, right? So, I mean there's very few people who would ever admit to the fact that they're gossiping and if you say that they're gossiping

They're not going to own it. They're not going to accept it. And so it is helpful to try to define this word

You know what we're talking about and what it actually means and you know, how you're doing it along those lines So so what is it?

All right, so yeah a good passage to talk about this is 2nd Corinthians 12 20 so in 2nd

Corinthians 12 12 20 you see for I fear that perhaps when I come I might find you Not as I wish and that you've made me find me not as you wish that Perhaps there will be quarreling jealousy anger hostility slander gossip conceit and disorder

So this word gossip right here is the word that means derogatory information about someone that's offered in a tone of confidentiality

In other words, so I really get derogatory information offered about a person that is offered in a tone of confidentiality

And then synonyms are you know secret gossip or tailbearing? And you know often if you're gonna figure out

What gossiping is you you do you can go to the book of Proverbs and you're gonna find that idea of tailbearing that's happening

Over and over and over again So tail tailbearing is your classic like word like biblical word to describe this phenomenon in general of gossip.

It's tailbearing It's basically negative information about someone that said in a tone of confidentiality

So it's basically just like talking about someone behind their back and saying bad things about them In order

I mean typically like the idea is it's in order to help you to like to get you to think poorly about this Person that's this point of gossip.

So it's just it's just Basically, I mean if you want to know gossip is it's just oh, did you hear what

X did? It's that kind of thing like so like the issue now,

I mean there's there's biblical checks on this to where you can Think through how it's helpful

You know times where it's helpful in times where it's not but typically some checks on this To let you know whether you're gossiping or whether you're getting counsel or something along those lines is

I mean typically like, you know A person who wants counsel they're gonna say hey, you know Person did

X and I don't know how to respond to it. How would you recommend that I respond to it? So, I mean if typically if you want advice

You can know that you're at least in a little bit safer territory if that makes sense Mm -hmm.

Thank you. I need some advice on how to handle this situation. They don't know how to handle it I want to I'll handle it and on whether it honors the

Lord So, you know most of the time I can tell when someone's gossiping when I try to give them advice and they don't want it

Yeah, if you don't want the advice like if you don't want help then I'm just gonna look at you and say are we just Gossiping then is that all we're doing?

You know because it just sounds like you just want to tell me all this negative stuff about this person But then you don't want like what am

I supposed to do with that? Do you want me to just I guess the goal right here that I'm just supposed to think negatively about this person

Is that all we're doing? Are you just getting this all off your chest so that we can both say? Oh, yeah They're a horrible person.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm glad that you got that off your chest there, you know so I mean typically in that kind of situation, you know,

I mean like the purpose of that is just a Person can event and the Bible says a fool gives full vent to his spirit

Essentially, right So do you want advice that that's part of what what we're talking about?

Do you want advice now often? I mean like you should even even if you want advice there should be some sense in which

Like hey the first to plead their case seems right until another one comes along to examine them If you're just gonna sit here and talk about this person, let's go get them in the room

Let's all talk about it together. So I mean do you want help here or do you want? Do you just want to unload right?

Mm -hmm. So I mean typically to them to the extent to which you can there's nothing that should be stopping you from saying, okay

Hey, yeah, you want to know how to deal with the person X? Let's go get them right and we'll talk to them and then we'll see if we can get reconciliation happening

So so part of it that that's also a helpful check Do they want the other person involved or is this just a mechanism of trying to?

Talk about this person without having any kind of accountability there So part of it's that you know, there's often like things you can do that look when you're thinking about gossip like you can shelter people from Like who you're talking about, right?

So what do you think should happen in a situation where a husband and wife are you know fighting whatever else and like this you know this happens like You know, you can present it like that.

You don't have to say. Hey, I'm talking about my husband right now My wife right now, right

I'm talking about my brother I mean like let's say that you're having a problem with your brother and you go to someone else and you say hey, yeah, like So there's a person

I know that we're butting heads and I don't know how to resolve it, right? What would you do? so as much as you can you're not just you should be trying to shelter people from Like all the information that they don't need in that way if you if you do want advice if you do want to counsel in That way so, you know a lot of it's that but Yeah, I mean

I think generally you you're supposed to be asking is this designed to build this person up Yeah, is this designed to tear them down right?

I guess it's designed to build them up or tear them down Is it designed for you just to get you know?

Like this juicy morsel off your chest or is this designed to help you to know how to honor the

Lord or you know? Honor this other person. But yeah, so why why is it that you know with this sin?

Why is it such an acceptable sin right now, I mean, you know human beings love to gossip

Why it why is that though why do I mean why do we love that so because I because I was thinking about this as I was thinking about the topic, you know

Thinking about the topic in general knowing that we're going to do an episode on it And you know,

I mean you see it everywhere and it sells it for sure sells I mean even as you know as a like as content creators on the internet

One of the things that you'll see time and time and time again is as people love to hear

Like negative things about other people like that That's always the stuff that does the best and and it's why you know

ESPN like all the sports news outlets are always trying to find Like the juicy scoop on you know

The big -time player and here's what he did, you know And and the tabloids are always trying to sell this is what this celebrity did and can you even believe that they would ever do?

something like that and Reality TV is you know, I like I'll watch reality

TV. It'll be on you know, like we're at some get -together or something and they'll have the

TV on and it's it's some random show like some random show that I've never heard of and It's it's just like it feels gross to even listen to it because it's just everyone

Talking about everyone else behind their back and I mean there there's like a certain Part of that that's where you understand like hey, this is just TV.

It's all it's all probably fake anyway But but then there's a reason that they're putting the they're put they're putting what they are putting on the show

Rightness because that's what people are interested in. So why is that? Yeah, I mean a few years back I mean, there's the

I think there's that show called gossip girl or whatever But then yeah, I mean, it's so funny when the pagans will do that kind of thing

We're you know, like american idol or gossip girl or whatever like to where they'll just um They'll name their show after sins in the bible

Yeah, yeah, and then people don't have the moral awareness to say. Hey, they're just telling you they're sending right now

Right, you know like that's what the the show is about, you know, I haven't watched that show but I mean

I assume that they're living up to his name, but It is I mean obviously, um I mean,

I remember like national inquirer growing up like the all the national inquirer kind of magazines Like where they're all just gossip columns in the grocery aisle

Right magazine and I don't know if they still have that same kind of stuff but I mean obviously it sells and obviously everyone wants to hear about it and You know, it's just a it's it's pride, you know, it's pride um, like it's just people who

Like if they can tear people down Like they feel like they've built themselves up, right?

So it's just that impulse. It's as old as this, you know, sin essentially I mean like a Impulse to say thank god.

I'm not like this other person, you know, can you believe that this other person did? uh, and the bible over and over again, you know says that we should um,

You know encourage one another and build one and build one another up and you know Our speech should be geared towards edification not just tearing people down and destroying them and and all that so I mean

I we just like You know if we could find some way like we just love it like when celebrity people do stupid stuff you know because they have all this money and they're in some sense like um, they have all this fame and recognition and We just like to be able to tear them down, you know so that we can build ourself up so we want people to think oh man like They're better than that other person who everyone thinks is good and so we're leeches in that kind of way

But then you know a lot of that really does get to how you should even interact with public people in general and public figures and so, you know typically, um

You know, there's this difference between like public and private that is related to this gossip discussion, too

Like meaning like you're sharing a private matter Like to someone for the purpose of tearing them down and so a lot of people they confuse that component of it to where You know,

I mean if you do have a notorious false teacher who is out there openly spreading false Goss like false teaching.

I mean you you do have to have some people who are going to openly confront That stuff right?

So right. It's not gossip to say that that person's public teaching is false, right?

Right, right. So I mean that would be like negative information about someone right? For the purpose of warning you about that person

But then the issue is it's true like it's true information and it was done in a public way It's publicly verifiable information, right?

And so like there's there needs to be forms of accountability that are given with this public kind of information um

For you know public kind of people in that way. So I mean there's obviously forms of accountability in that way um

And you do have to deal with things that happen in front of a bunch of people So an example of that would be like the man who's sleeping with his mother -in -law in the church of corinth

And they're all glorying about it and saying it's a wonderful, you know thing And paul basically just says like hey, like you guys are all glorying over this.

It's not good You're deliver that deliver this person just like although i'm absent from the body i'm present in my spirit, right?

Deliver this man to satan for the destruction of the flesh That you know in the day of the lord his spirit might be saved and all that. So like you think about that like he's he's

Like there's a public thing that's happening that everyone's witnessing And he's telling them how to deal with it.

And and so that wouldn't be gossip. That's just acknowledging. Hey, we all have eyes We're all watching this. This isn't the way we handle it, right?

Like this this is not the way you handle it. But I mean like when you're when you're sharing private matters like um

That you don't have any business adjudicating I mean There's a lot of people who do that with like celebrities and like if you don't jump on board with it and crucify these people

Because the leak tape of them fighting out in public comes, you know, it's like hey, I don't have anything to do with this, right?

Right. This has nothing to do with me. I don't know the context of this. I i'm not involved in the jury here

I'm not a form of accountability for them. I don't have to say anything, you know Like it's just it's none of my business. Like I don't have anything to do with it, you know

Like I don't have anything to do with this. I don't have enough context. I don't know Enough to even comment here, you know

This is a private matter between private people that you know evil people leaked out to the public, you know with no good purpose

So let's just let let let them take care of it, you know So so I do think that like we we need to be careful with how we're dealing with those things and certainly people love

Like love their gossip and they love tearing people down and they love having opportunities to You know throw these people under the bus if I can in order to make themselves feel good

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