Discipleship in the Home - Part I

Discipleship in the Home and the Call to Children

Teaching time.

We've been memorizing Colossians 3, 12 through 24 in order to think about this theme of discipleship. As I put in our retreat booklet, the Christian life begins by answering Christ's call to become his disciple.

But it does not end there. The Christian life flows from the inward to the outward, from the private to the relational, spilling over into every area of our experience, marriage, the home, the workplace, throughout the church.

And these are the things that we're going to consider together this weekend. Now, this morning, we'll have part one of discipleship.

In the home.

And this morning, that focus will primarily be on children. This evening, we'll have discipleship in the home part two. And the emphasis there will be on parents in the home and parenting. So I want to specifically speak to children.

And I also want to speak about children. And I don't want to just speak to physically little children but even bigger children. And in a sense, as we'll see in a moment, scripture addresses us all as children.

So this is a sermon that is for the young and the aged, for the newcomer and the mature. This is also a sermon that is meant to call children to come to the Lord Jesus, to become a disciple of him. Our verse here is Colossians 3 .20.

Children, obey your parents in all things for this is well pleasing to the Lord. One of the foremost issues in this verse is one of the foremost issues in the life of a child. That is the issue of authority.

That's why out of all the things that Paul could have written on in Colossians 3 .20, the one thing that he addressed toward children was this. Children, obey your parents in all things. The issue for the child, as far as Paul is concerned, the issue for the child, as far as the fifth commandment is concerned, is about honor and obedience to the parent.

One of the foremost issues in the life of a child.

Is authority.

The parallel, we already heard it during the sword drill from Ephesians 6. Again, children, obey your parents in the Lord. They don't have absolute sway. You have a higher authority than even your mother or your father.

Obey your parents as to the Lord. Obey your parents in the Lord. For this is right. Honor your father and mother. Paul then quotes the fifth commandment. So how are we gonna consider Colossians 3 .20 together?

This central issue of authority, what it means to respond to this call of discipleship. Well, I wanna look at it in three parts. The first thing is the call. The calling to children. Secondly, the character of children.

And then thirdly, the commitment of children. You'll see I'm borrowing from my brother Marty who also has three C categories for his talk on marriage.

But this structure,.

I'm actually gonna follow later tonight. The exact same issue, but now with parents, calling, character, and commitment. And so I'm hoping between the two, we'll see two different angles on these verses and how they interrelate.

Calling, character, commitment.

The Call to Childlike Obedience

So first, calling.

The Bible often addresses children. We don't perhaps register it as often as we could, but from the very first pages of the gospel, Jesus speaks to his grown adult followers as children. In John 13, he calls his disciples little children.

And John, actually one of these little children at that time, he follows this when he writes to the church. As a whole, he calls them little children. In fact, he does it 13 times throughout the first letter.

The Bible uses this concept of child to speak to concern. When Paul writes to the church at Corinth, he says, I don't write these things to shame you. I write to you as beloved children so that I can warn you.

So it speaks of a parent-like concern. It becomes a very positive metaphor. The idea of being a child in Romans eight is the spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God. Note, not people of God, not the flock of God.

All these things are true, but the quality of adoption. We are children of God. Or think of Ephesians 5 .1, another positive example. Be imitators of God as dear children. As a child takes on the traits and characteristics of their parents, so follow, imitate, and characterize your life as imitators of God.

Jesus himself says of children in Luke 18, assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom as a little child will by no means enter it. So scripture has a lot to say about children. Scripture has a lot to say to children.

And in a sense, everyone in this room is a child. When Jesus says no one can enter the kingdom except as a little child, he does not mean that the kingdom of God is full of Peter Pans, kids that never wanna grow up.

Maturity is as central to scripture as being a child. Paul tells the Corinthians it's time to put away childish things and grow up. It's time to press on to the full stature of maturity, he says to the church at Ephesus.

So then as little children means not with childlike tendencies or foolishness, but with childlike dependence, with the simplicity of trust, with loyalty, with a desire to please. As little children have a desire, a delight to please their parents.

And fundamentally, in and with that all, to enter the kingdom as a little child is to be obedient as a child is called to be obedient. No one can enter the kingdom of God if they are not obedient. This is what Paul refers to in some ways as the obedience of faith.

You enter into the kingdom by obeying the call to repent and believe. No wonder that the kingdom consists of those who are like little children. And little children, as far as the church is concerned, are to obey their parents in all things.

This is well pleasing to the Lord. So that's the call of Colossians 3 .20. And in fact, much of scripture is framed with this kind of call. If you look at wisdom literature, most of it is framed in this very way.

If you read Proverbs, especially throughout the first eight chapters, you have a constant refrain of listen to me, hear me, my children, listen to my words. Proverbs 8 .32 is the classic example. Therefore, listen to me, my children, for blessed are those who keep my ways.

And you see this pattern throughout wisdom literature of obedience and blessing. The pattern is that blessing follows obedience. Psalm 34 .11, come you children, listen to me. I will teach you the fear of the Lord.

Who is the man that desires life, loves many days that he may see good? What's held out rhetorically is, if you listen to me and adopt my ways, if you learn from my words, you will be blessed, obedience, blessing.

That's the pattern. What's the blessing? We saw it in the fifth commandment. Tony referenced it from the sword drills from Ephesians 6. What is the blessing in the wisdom literature? It's length of days, it's good.

Psalm 1 .3, in some ways, the first Psalm, it opens up the whole panoply of wisdom literature.

Throughout the Psalms.

And fundamentally, it boils down to, there are two ways to live. There's the way of the wise and the way of the fool, the way of the one that loves God and orders his way accordingly, and the one who despises wisdom and does not walk in the ways of God.

The one who adopts wisdom and follows God is like a tree planted by rivers of water, bringing forth fruit. Its leaf does not wither. Whatever he does will prosper. This is the image of blessedness. Blessedness follows obedience.

Psalm 1, again, says there's only two ways to live, and wisdom literature says those two ways are wisdom or foolishness. The end of foolishness is death. The end of wisdom is life. In Proverbs, we have wisdom personified.

All those who hate me love death. Those who hate my ways embrace death. Wisdom is the path to life. Foolishness is the path to death. In this context, Proverbs is written as the ultimate father-son talk.

Son, sit down. You need to listen to my words. I want to tell you how to live. I want to steer you away from the things that will ensnare you and destroy you. My son, listen to me. My children, hear my words.

Now, later tonight, that has something to say about parents and how we parent, but this morning, with the emphasis on children, this has a lot to say about the son or the daughter, the child, and how they'll listen.

This is the call of Scripture. This is the call that says there's two ways to live. How will you answer that call? Well, you can't conceptualize this call, these two ways to live, as if you are the child standing at the fork of the road, the proverbial fork of the road.

You haven't committed to anything yet. You're just standing at the very entrance to a way that leads to life and a way that leads to death. You can't conceptualize it that way, because as we said, there's only two ways to live, and if you're not on one of those two ways, then there's actually three ways to live.

There's a neutral way that you haven't committed, and then there's the way of death and the way of life. No, there's only two ways to live. You are on one of these two paths this morning, and wisdom calls and says, my son, my daughter, listen to me, my children, hear my voice.

If you would find blessing, if you would lengthen your days, if you would know and taste and see the goodness of God, you must answer this call in the right way. Now, Jesus himself, wisdom incarnate, extends this same call.

In Luke 18, when Jesus calls, and that's literally what Luke writes, Jesus called to them and said, this is a call from the Lord, let the little children come to me, and do not forbid them. So that's the call.

And notice what is said there. Let them come to me. He does not say, bring them to me. He doesn't say, usher them to me. He says, don't forbid them, but let them come. Let them answer. Let them turn back from the foolish way that leads to death.

Let them turn around from the path of disobedience, and let them come, follow me. Remember John the Baptist's words in Matthew 3. He says, to those that would have thought, we're in. I was raised in the scriptures.

I was brought up in the church. I'm at the 2025 GRBC church retreat.

I'm in.

Right? I made it.

And John the Baptist says to that mindset, don't think to yourself, I'm a child of Abraham. I'm a child of Christian parents. I'm a child of upstanding church members. I'm a child who has memorized most of Colossians 3.

And John the Baptist would say, don't think, I'm a child of Abraham, because God's able to raise up children from these stones. So you can't be born into the kingdom, you must be born again into the kingdom.

There's only two ways to live.

That's the call.

The Character of a Child Under Authority

Let them come to me. Well, how does this relate secondly to character? Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord. Let me speak to children. How do you feel about your parents?

You can tell me at lunch. Come up to the table and let me know.

No, don't do that.

Honor your parents. How do you feel about your parents, really? In the way that God sees your heart, how do you regard your parents? Not in the way that we may think or assume, but as God sees, as God knows,.

How do you regard your parents?

Do you feel happy about your parents? Are you thankful for your parents? Are you at peace with your parents?

Are you hopeful for your parents?

Do you obey your parents even when it's hard to obey your parents? Do you obey your parents even when they are hard to you? Do you still obey them? When you disobey, do you take responsibility for that or do you try to evade it?

These are all questions that get to your character. What's your character like? Your character flows out of your condition. As we said, there's only two ways to live and everyone is on one of those two paths here this morning.

No one stands at the fork in the road. There was only ever one person to stand at the fork of the road and that was Adam in the Garden of Eden. And ever since then, all of Adam's children have gone down the path of foolishness that leads to death until the God-man came, the last Adam, and actually slogged along the path that leads to life even in the midst of a fallen world, even in the midst of the weakness of his own flesh.

And so ever since Adam's fall, we have this condition. And don't think I'm a child of Abraham. You're not a child of Abraham. You're a child of Adam and you have the condition of Adam. You've been born onto the wrong path.

That's the big problem. You have this condition. The condition is that you're fallen. Adam disobeyed and ever since then, children born to Adam are disobedient. And Paul, speaking to the church, says, children, obey your parents.

Recognize this condition within you and where that's coming from. Why is it hard to obey? Why am I not thankful? Why do I grumble? Why do I mutter under my breath? Why have I been caught rolling my eyes?

Why do I pretend not to hear what they say? And I'm so bent on doing my own things. If that's true to your experience, that's because of this condition that you have within you. It's like having brown hair or blue eyes.

It's just what you're made of. It's the condition that you have. It's how you've been born. Where did this condition come from? It's from the disobedience of Adam and Eve. Rather than obeying their father in heaven, they disobeyed.

Rather than enjoying their father in heaven and showing that enjoyment by seeking to please him, they rebelled against him. And as a result, their children did the same toward them. Adam and Eve got a taste of their own disobedience when they saw their sons, their daughters, disobey them.

They got a taste of their own rebellion when they saw their sons, their daughters, rebel against them. They saw the infestation and consequence of sin as the family tree began to emerge before their very eyes.

And perhaps character flows out of condition. But your condition as children, it also corresponds to your conscience. And so perhaps as I'm asking these questions or saying these things, you're feeling this dis-ease.

Yeah, sometimes I pretend not to listen to mom or dad. Sometimes I egg my brothers or my sisters on to being disobedient with me. Sometimes I actually find little ways to sneak around in hopes that my parents won't catch me.

And perhaps at times you recognize that or recollect that and you begin to feel dirty, guilty. Maybe you see your parents' displeasure, you see that they're not happy with you and then you begin to feel very sad about what you did.

You wish you could undo it. All of this is coming out of your conscience. Your conscience corresponds to this condition. The fact that you are disobedient. The fact that it's not an easy or effortless thing to obey your parents and seek to please God in doing so.

The conscience is your sense of what's right and what's wrong. Now, the problem is that when you're on this path of foolishness, your conscience is not as sharp as it should be. Your conscience is usually pretty dull and it's not ringing the alarm bells in all the ways that it should.

There's times maybe when Mr. McDonald gets in the pulpit at some point you catch something and you feel a little twinge of discomfort. Well, maybe that's about as sharp as it gets. But it's not the kind of conscience you need if you would obey God.

It's not the kind of conscience you'll have if you walk in the path of wisdom that leads to life. The kind of conscience that flows out of this condition of disobedience, it is something that you actively repress.

You know it's wrong to do the things that you've done. You know it's wrong to be disobedient, to be angry, to be spiteful, to be bitter, to be jealous, to always want to be first, to get others to be beneath you.

You see that that's wrong, but you repress it. You stuff it down.

You ignore it.

Yeah, it's wrong, but so what? I know other kids that do the same. Well, that's your conscience condemning you. That's the guilt of your condition saying something's not right in your life. And as you grow older, the more you ignore that feeling, that alarm, that discomfort, the less you find it.

The alarm bell isn't as loud as it used to be. The feeling of guilt isn't very just discomfortable. It's not very painful. You find that somehow you've actually hardened your conscience. And so scripture talks about a defiled conscience.

You've sinned so much that your conscience can't work anymore. It's like breaking your arm, and now you're trying to carry heavy things with it, and you just can't. You've wounded your conscience. It can't do the work it's meant to do.

It can talk about searing your conscience. You become so desensitized to the bad that you've done that you don't even register it anymore. All of this means you are far along the path of foolishness that leads to death, but the path of wisdom that leads to life, that's a path that makes your conscience more and more sensitive to the things of God, more and more aware of the condition you have and how that flows out in your character in all sorts of ways.

I'm not thankful as I should be. I'm jealous in ways I shouldn't be. I'm offended about things that I shouldn't be. I'm not grateful. I'm not humble. I'm not happy.

I don't serve.

The growing Christian becomes more and more sensitive to the ways of God, to the ways of wisdom, to the direction of the path that leads to life. So the Lord God has commanded you as children, obey your parents in all things.

What does your conscience have to say about that? How does your conscience answer that? Do you obey your parents in all things? I said, come up to me at lunch and tell me how you think about your parents, how you feel about them.

What if I asked your parents to come tell me at lunch how well you obey them in all things? What this verse really gets at is control.

Control.

No child wants to be controlled. They want to control themselves. Life would be great if I could control myself, wouldn't it? I would never go to bed and I would never brush my teeth. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner, ice cream.

Isn't life grand? And it's grand for about a month. And then your teeth rot out and your organs stop functioning properly because you haven't slept. And all this control has only brought you misery and a very short life.

This is why obeying to those that are older and wiser than you, who are controlling you and trying to help you go down a path that you don't want to go down is actually going to lead to a lengthening of your days and a flourishing of your life because you controlling your life is self-destruction.

You going down your own path as you see fit is the surest way to have a ruinous life. The path that leads to blessing happens to be the path that few find. It's a path that not many look for. That's why Psalm 34 says, who is it that wants a long life?

Who is it that's willing to listen to the call as little children and obey in all things? This verse really gets at control. What did Adam and Eve want in the Garden of Eden? When God said, as a way of controlling them, don't eat of this tree.

If you eat of it, you'll die. And they said, well, I don't like that control. I want to eat of it. In fact, God's holding out on me. How could he know what's good for me? He only made me and everything around me.

But how could he really know what's good for me? I can determine what's good for me. I can control myself. They wanted their own way rather than God's way, their own control rather than God's control.

And the end result is what the end result must always be, the path of foolishness and rebellion that leads to death. What marks the life of a disciple is a character that wants to follow the Lord, a condition that does not want to find its own way, but actually wants to be led by the shepherd.

I need someone to lead me. I can't lead myself. I want the Lord to control me because I can't control myself. I will stray. I'm prone to wander. I want the Lord to hedge me in and hold me close. That's how the beautiful hymn by Horatius Bonar, written for children, frames the whole Christian life, the whole Christian experience.

He frames it in this way. Listen to these words. I was a wandering sheep. I did not love the fold. We have to spend three days with these people. You've got to be kidding. I was a wandering sheep. I did not love the fold.

I did not love my shepherd's voice. I would not be controlled. I don't want those words. I don't like that call. I'm not going to listen. I don't want to be controlled. I was a wayward child. I did not love my home.

I did not love my father's voice. I loved afar to Rome. The result of conversion and the work of the Spirit changes all of that. Now, rather than saying, I love to stray, I love the far country, I hate the words of wisdom, I hate the call to life, I don't like my father's voice, I hate my father's control.

I'm going to go out on my own.

The result of conversion.

And the work of the Spirit changes that. Now listen, this is the last stanza from the same hymn. I was a wandering sheep. I would not be controlled, but now I love my shepherd's voice. I love. I love the fold.

I get to spend three days with these people. I once preferred to Rome, but now I love my father's voice. I love, I love his home. The work of Christ applied by the Spirit is the difference between I was and but now.

And again, what marks the life of a disciple is their desire to follow the Lord, to be led by God, to be controlled by his Spirit. Not begrudgingly, not with eye rolls and exasperation, but with a desire.

Lord, lay hold of me. Lord, bring me close. Lord, never let me go. Never let me stray. I love my shepherd now. This is the result of abandoning the path of foolishness, heeding God's voice, and embarking on the path that leads to life.

Romans 8 .14 puts it this way, as many as are led by the Spirit, these are the children of God. So to be a child of God is to be led by his Spirit, to be ruled by his Spirit, to be controlled by his Spirit.

Children, however churched they may be, however churched you may be, who are not being led by the Spirit, generally grow up to be one of two things. If they've been well-churched, well-versed, if they've adopted certain morals and principles of Christianity into their lives, but they're not being led by the Spirit, they're not being moved and ruled and controlled by the Spirit, they generally grow up to become one of two things.

Either A, worldlings, or B, Pharisees. Worldlings, or Pharisees. Those who are in love with the world in its ways. They might put the brakes on to certain excesses of depravity, but their heart is more fervent about the world than any of their peers.

Or Pharisees. Those that actually do quite well to navigate around the excesses of the world, and they're able to do that, not because they're led by the Spirit, but because they have a big chip on their shoulder.

And they love lording it over others. And they don't have the humility that's wrought as a fruit of the Spirit, they just have a superiority complex. They also will not enter the kingdom. You see this emerge as an example, a description of vice-less can be seen as applying to either of these two outcomes.

In 2 Timothy, Paul is addressing Timothy, and he's giving this advice, and through Timothy, also to the church, he's saying, flee youthful lusts. This would be the worldling. Pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call upon the Lord from a pure heart.

In the next chapter, speaking of perilous times, he says, men will be lovers of themselves. That's more pharisaical. Lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents. Interesting that he includes that.

Unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers. Without self-control, this is the path that leads to death. This is the path of foolishness. I would not be controlled. I have no self-control because I would not be controlled.

I have lots of self-love. I'm proud, I boast. I love no one but myself. In fact, I hate my parents, I disobey them. I'm unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, I slander. This is the path of foolishness that leads to death.

Brutal, despising good, traitors, headstrong, howdy, again, worldling, Pharisee. Lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God. That is the chief description of a worldling. Having a form of godliness but denying its power.

That's the chief description of a Pharisee. But there's a contrast between those two outcomes and a genuine child of God. A genuine child of God is not marked by loving themselves or by being boastful or ungrateful or disobedient.

They're marked by doing all things without complaining, without disputing. They become blameless, harmless. Despite being in a crooked and perverse generation, they shine like lights in the world. That is what it looks like to be children of God.

That's what Paul says there in Philippians 2. Doing all things without complaining and disputing, becoming blameless and harmless, children of God. It's what it looks like to be a child of God. It's what it looks like to be adopted by God, to be entwelt by the spirit of God.

And this doesn't happen just by showing up. This doesn't happen by osmosis. Listen, like many of you right now, I grew up in the church. I grew up in the church. I grew up being taught the word of God.

I grew up with illustrated children's Bibles. I grew up with faithful Sunday school teachers that were converted during the Jesus movement in the 70s. And every third word out of their mouth was Jesus.

I had more poured into my young life than probably many of you. And as I grew, that amounted to almost nothing in terms of the power and sway of my flesh, my lust for the world, my sin that I would not engage, my hidden and yet intractable hardness to not heed the call to walk on the hard and difficult path that leads to life.

This comes not by osmosis. You're not gonna just absorb your way into Christianity. This doesn't happen by saturating church culture and mimicking and regurgitating what you see around you. This doesn't happen on the margins.

This will only happen if you hold fast to the word of life. Holding fast to the word of life because you've responded to the call, you've abandoned the path of foolishness. And now, even if you have to claw your way with bloody fingertips, you are walking on the path that leads to life.

You hold fast to the word that you heard. And as years roll by, and they will, and as seasons and circumstances change in your young life, as you embark from young childhood toward young adulthood, that hold will get harder and harder.

You're like a rock climber who's nearing the top of that jagged cliff edge and it's beginning to almost go horizontal and the hold is that much harder. And you've been climbing for so many years that your hands are that much sorer.

You're weaker than you've ever been, but the climb is harder than it's ever been. But by the grace of God, if you've trusted in God, you will hold fast to the word of life. One of the things that makes it so difficult for you young people is those that seem to be climbing with you, and some that even seem to be climbing ahead of you, when their hands get weak and they have not been ruled by the spirit and their lives have been pockmarked by disobedience and disloyalty and love of self, they begin to let go and fall.

And many times when they come colliding and crashing down, they'd almost take you with them. I grew up in youth groups. I grew up coming to Camp Manadnock summer by summer. I grew up with perpetual raise your hands if you want to come to Jesus kinds of altar calls.

And more often than not, I raised my hand. More often than not, I did come up. Every summer I recommitted my life to Jesus. And then every school year, I abandoned him all over again. The older I've grown, the more I've seen from my past and even in my present, sometimes it's the people that are just ahead of you that you'd never think would let go and come crashing down that will impact and challenge your faith most dearly.

If you've modeled what's appropriate and what's right and what's holy on someone who seems just to be ahead of you, what will it mean when they fall? Narrow is the path, there are who find it. I was sitting in a seminary classroom, not seven years ago.

And at one point when we were taking a break, I began talking to the student next to me, a very young man, almost too young to be in grad school. And he was a student from South Korea. So I began to ask him a little about his testimony.

I always collect testimonies where and when I can. Tell me a little bit about where you're from. Did you grow up in a Christian home? How did the Lord find you? How did the Lord call you? But why are you here?

What are you aiming toward? Well, he began to open up about his experience. Yeah, I grew up in a Christian home. My dad's a pastor in South Korea. And when I pressed for his testimony, I found it kind of hard to get at his testimony, which was a little bewildering to me.

He is technically studying for ministry. And eventually he just said, he had no Christian conversion experience to speak of. He simply said, you know, my father sent me here. You know, I had this group of friends and they're not all Christian.

And in fact, they have all these different beliefs and we just love each other. And it's just so great. And my father, you know, he just doesn't get it. And he just, he sent me here. He wanted to send me away from my friends and push me into ministry.

If you know anything about honor shame culture, it was remarkable that he was even sharing it and speaking in that way. Clearly he resented the idea of ministry. He resented the idea of the church. He was controlling himself.

He thought I've arrived at everything I need to have a happy and blessed life. I have it in my circle of friends. Yeah, they're not all Christian. My father just doesn't get it. I know he's concerned about me, but he doesn't get it.

What does he know? Now I would fault the father for sending a son to seminary in the hope of converting him. Maybe the father is a little confused about all of that. But whatever his view may have been, however wrong his hope may be, or his way of dealing with his son, it is the son who is responsible.

It's the son who must give an account. It's the son who is straying from the things he had learned over his life, from the people he had learned them from, including his own parents. At root, he is a child who refuses to listen.

At root, he's a child who will not hear the call. All of this in more ways than any of you can fathom boils down so much to these words, obey your parents. The second table of the law begins in this way.

As soon as we leave the vertical.

Of the first four commandments, the whole second table, the whole horizontal table begins with obey your parents, honor your parents in all things. Because this is the whole storyline of scripture. God the Father brought people into existence and they disobeyed and set their whole course.

Toward destruction.

And so essentially Colossians 3 .20 is saying if you can't obey your parents to the Lord, how can you obey the Lord? This is the first and most foundational commitment. And it's attached with the promise.

This will lead to blessedness in life. It's not a mirage, it's not empty. Like the world's path that seems to offer all of that but never delivers, only takes. Narrow though the path may be, though the handhold is hard and the cliff edge is jagged, this is the way that leads to life and happiness.

The Commitment to Continue in the Word of Life

And so third and last is speak about commitment. As we said, children of God are not worldlings. Children of God are not Pharisees. This is just from 2 Timothy 3. Evil men and impostors will grow worse and worse, deceiving and being deceived, but you must continue.