Submitting to One Another

Sovereign Grace Family Church

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I say submit, you say? No.

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I was like, yeah.

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I wonder who said that.

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Why would somebody say that, though? Why would they say no? Yeah.

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Because we want to submit.

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Absolutely.

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OK, good.

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Because if you think about it, when you think of that term submit, some thoughts come into your mind right away that are perhaps not the most pleasant, right? Er, my beautiful bride.

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Because she said to me before, ain't no way I'm submitting to you.

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Well, let's think about this a little bit.

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Let's think about what it really means to submit to one another.

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And what I want us to do, and I've been trying to do this from the beginning, is to always kind of set the, if you will, the canvas.

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And really, it is any one of these, certainly in submitting to one another, or speaking to one another, or forgiving one another, any of the one another's that we've been considering, I think it all has to be set in the context in this chapter in light of verse 8, where it says, for you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord.

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Walk as children of light.

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And here's the reality.

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The reality of God's saving grace.

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The reality of God's saving grace is mercy.

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It's got to be that which provokes us.

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And I think this is essential for us to think about in our lives.

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We are not going to be able to put into activity in our lives any of these one another's without that realization, because anything less than that, anything less than the reality that we were in darkness, and by God's amazing grace, has brought us into light, and that we are new creatures.

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We're not what we used to be.

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We might not be what we ought to be.

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But without that as a canvas, I think we just dishonor God.

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In other words, there are people, and you'll find it, there are people in this world that will submit to other people.

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But is their submission really a reality of them walking in the fear of the Lord, as the apostle says here, submitting to one another in the fear of God, or is it in the fear of man? Again, in a lot of situations, we see a lot of submission in this world, whether it be, you can think of a whole lot of examples, whether it be an employer, an employee, or a parent, child, or a whole gamut of situations.

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But if we're not really doing it in the fear of God, are we really submitting as God would have us to? And that's just something to think about, because again, like I said, there's all kinds of submission in the world.

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It really has to be a result of what I would say, we're provoked by God's love towards us.

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And God's love is absolutely free.

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God's love is unchangeable.

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God's love is eternal.

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And in that sense, God's love is very distinguishing, in that we are the objects of God's love, all who believe in Him.

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And so if you think about it, and I was thinking about it, I guess I was reading something this week, and it kind of provoked my mind a little bit, of that very fact that God's love is from His bounty.

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It freely flows from Him, right? Our love is more of a duty to respond to that free love of God.

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And so again, if we are going to submit to one another, it's going to have to be in that relationship.

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So again, a little bit more to think about, what do you think submission really means? What do you really think it means to be in submission in any particular relationship? OK, I'm glad you all have that thought this morning.

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What does it really mean? Submission is not submission.

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It's a disposition to be submitted to the Lord.

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Our submission to the Lord is a disposition of I'm going to do what the Lord requires of me because He knows it's in my best interest and because of my love for Him.

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Absolutely, yeah, yeah, it certainly is.

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Although the act of submitting is an action that we undertake, right? We willfully ought to be in submission in a lot of different relationships.

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And of course, as you bring up, and as I just tried to mention, the greatest of all is that we're in submission to God out of obedience and out of love to Him because His love has first, right? We love Him because He first loved us, right? So again, but the idea of submission, and it's interesting, and what I want to show you, in verse 21, it seems to me that this is a somewhat of a little bit of a general rule.

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And then Paul continues on through the chapter and he drills down into some various relationships.

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So in other words, we ought to be submissive to one another.

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We ought to submit to one another in the fear of God.

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And then as you look through this, I mean, in verse 22, he goes and he starts to deal in relationships.

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There it is, wives, submit to your own husbands.

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As you move through, he then brings up next in chapter six, children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.

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So there's another relationship in which submission is to flow, right? And if you read even a little bit further, what does he begin to talk about in verse five, but this whole area of servants and masters.

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Servants, be obedient to those, this is chapter six, verse five, to your masters according to the flesh with fear and trembling and sincerity of heart as to Christ, right? So he begins with this thought of to submit to one another in the fear of God, and then he starts to break it out into different relationships.

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And I think that's where we need to focus our attention in great ways.

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I mean, you think about it, and I wrote some verses that I'm using to reference this this morning on the board, but think about the whole idea of Romans 13, governments.

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Are we not to be submissive to the authorities? Be subject to the authorities? And that has a setting, that's another relationship.

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There are all kinds of those, if you can read in the scripts where it says that the body of Christ is to be in submission to in the church setting in some measure to the elders and to the oversight of the church, right? So there's another area where submission is being brought out.

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The word in the Greek really carries the meaning of putting yourself underneath the authority of someone else.

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Putting ourselves underneath the authority of someone else.

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Perhaps that's why my wife, who I love with all my heart, has said, she ain't submitting to me for nothing, because what it really means is that she is putting herself under my authority.

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That doesn't mean I'm not to submit to her, that's not my point, but that's what the word really means.

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Matter of fact, in the biblical usage many times, it was, it carries the idea of in a military way, where troops would put themselves under the authority of the colonel, the general, that they would place themselves underneath and therefore be submissive to that authority, which was over them.

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So again, that's probably why many people do not appreciate this thought of submission, because, and you brought it up in the very beginning, we don't really wanna do that, right? Because what's involved in submission, if that be a working definition of submission, why is it grinders? Ah, right, right? So, and where do we always wanna be? On the top, right? Again, this is, many of these one another's that I think we've been working through.

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There is an outworking in relationships, but the real issues are in our heart.

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Again, this whole idea of submission is somewhat antagonistic against the flesh, right? There's a spirit, lust against the flesh, and the flesh against the spirit.

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And so when you begin to think about it, this whole idea means, as you say, if I'm under someone, that means someone's over me, right? And ultimately, in the Old Testament, it talks about how there are governors, and then there are governors of governors, and then there is one who's over all, right? And of course, again, that's why all authority is given to the Lord Jesus Christ, and we ought to be submissive to him.

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Let me just go through a couple of verses, so I think it'll help us understand.

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And again, I just wrote them down on the board.

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You remember when Joseph and Mary went to Jerusalem during the feast, and as they returned, the Lord Jesus Christ stayed behind, and they found him, he was teaching in the synagogue, and they looked for him, and they couldn't find him.

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Anyway, when they finally were joined back together, it says, then he, speaking of Christ, went down with them to Nazareth, Joseph and Mary, and was subject to them.

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But his mother kept those things in her heart.

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So he put himself, that's unbelievable, right? The Lord of glory, Emmanuel, God in the flesh.

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As a son, he put himself under their authority.

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And so that's the same word that's used in Ephesians 5.

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In Luke chapter 10, you remember when Jesus had sent the 70 out, and he gave them power over demons to heal and to cast out demons, and they returned.

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And you remember, they came to the Lord Jesus Christ, and they were filled with joy.

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And they said that the 70 returned with joy, saying, Lord, even the demons are subject, or submissive, or under submission to us.

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Again, thought being that they had authority over that, and that that submission was within their domain.

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In Romans 7, and this is kind of one where it's more in a negative than a positive, but it says, if you remember, because the carnal mind is enmity against God, for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be.

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There is that word again, where the carnal mind, the mind apart from Christ, refuses, right, to put themselves underneath.

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Same way, if you take it from the military thing, someone out in the field refuses to put himself under the authority of the general, and in that case, what happens then? Right, who loses? The lower one loses, right, because the higher one can't lose.

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So again, this whole idea of authority, and as I brought up to you, Romans 13, let every soul be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except by God.

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Again, I'm just trying to give you a sense of how it's used in the scriptures, and how it kind of disseminates into every relationship.

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Now, that doesn't mean that there isn't to be mutual submission in certain relationships, but the idea is that you and I ought to learn to be submissive in various relationships in the fear of God, and again, that's why I say, if we're not gonna do it in the fear of God, then we really are dishonoring God, because everything has to flow under him.

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Here's one, and in 1 Corinthians 13, you remember what Paul says? He said, let your women keep silent in the churches, amen? Amen, brother.

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Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

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I dig a hole every time I get up here, but it says, let your women keep silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak, but they ought to be submissive.

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Again, there is that word, that this reality of submission runs throughout the scriptures, and I wanna make that observation again a little clearer.

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That does not mean that anybody apart from Christ will not be submissive.

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There are many relationships in which people are submissive.

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They are subject to someone else.

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So it doesn't mean we won't say it, but again, if it's not done in the fear of God, I don't believe it's done the way God would have us to do it, right? And that's why Paul says that we ought to do this in fear.

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And also this, and this is just because I know my own heart a little bit, it's a continual fight, isn't it? In other words, can anyone here say, well, I've conquered that, I'm just as submissive and subject to everybody at every time in every possible situation.

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Anybody wanna lie publicly? No, why? Because again, there's this whole area where we have not yet, and here's what I believe is the reason why.

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And we can discuss it if you like.

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I believe the reason why we've struggled with submission in relationships, in life, or because we still struggle with submission to the Lord himself and his word.

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Because if you think about it, where it says in John that the Lord Jesus Christ did always the things that pleased the father, put himself, he was obedient even unto death, that's where we are so delinquent is that we have not yet learned to submit ourselves fully to God.

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And I don't believe we ever will.

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I don't believe we ever will until that day when we see him face to face.

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And when in that sense, we are granted newness of body and completeness in that consummation.

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Does anybody disagree with that? Do you think there's anybody that could possibly get to that point where their submission is absolute? No, and we're all gonna struggle with it.

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We're all gonna fight it.

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And again, that doesn't mean we won't display it.

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We might be very good at disguising it, right? A wife might be very good at submitting to her husband outwardly when immediately all she does is think of ways to end them.

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Or an employer, an employee.

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I mean, certainly in that relationship, I can remember how many times I wanted to say something, but it really, I really didn't hold back because I was afraid of God.

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I'd like to think that, but I held back because I didn't wanna lose my job, right? Again, these are things that you and I need to think about.

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Yes, ma'am.

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Verse 22 in Ephesians.

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Yeah.

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To me, that's the one that the world gets wrong because it says submit to your own husbands.

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It's not like you're told to submit to every man in your church or every man that you meet or each of that.

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I mean, that's so crazy, but yet it's construed that way, I guess, because it's even worse, you know? Right, because the world is not subject to God, right? It won't be submissive to God.

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If you're not submissive to God, you're never gonna be submissive to his word, right? You're gonna fight it.

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And not only do we open that up too far, but many times this whole idea of submission is accompanied by the thought of inferiority, right? And so many times this scripture is used to promote feminism and whatnot, when really they've lost sight of what true submission really is because it's a willful thing.

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Even as Brother Mike wrote, it's an attitude.

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It's a posture of our heart beyond just how it works out in our lives.

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And so again, many different ways to...

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That's why I don't believe you'll ever see, you could never see the true Christian model in the world because the world is not subject, even as we read in Romans 8.

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It's not subject to the law of God, and neither indeed can be.

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So even when we see submission, whether employee, employee, or family, or parents, or children, I don't care where you see it, or even if you see it in the church, many times the submission even in the church is not in the fear of God.

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It's in the fear of many other things.

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And remember what it says, the fear of man does what? Remember what Proverbs said? The fear of man brings a snare, right? So again, we have to think about, that's why I say, I believe a lot of these things reside more in our hearts and they manifest themselves because out of the abundance of the heart, what? The mouth, yeah, it's the issues of the heart and the mouth speaks.

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So here's what I want us to think about just for a minute.

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Also, I wanted to point out as you read through this, and this came to me as I was working on it, I wanted to show how central submission is tied to the Lordship of Christ.

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In other words, again, to bolster my point, if we have not learned to be submissive to God, we will never truly learn to be submissive to in any relationship.

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And so I wanted to show you how this is in relationship to Christ.

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So in verse 21, submitting to one another in the fear of God, okay? In the idea that God is the ruler and we ought to walk in his fear.

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In verse 22, well, you just brought up sisters, wives submit to your own husbands, why? As to the Lord, there again, is the reality of the Lordship of Christ.

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In other words, the wife is not just to be submissive for any old reason, but she's submissive because it's as to the Lord underneath his Lordship, underneath him being master.

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And then even in the idea of the husband, husband is the head of, for the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is the head of the church.

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And there again is the Lordship and the reality of who Christ is.

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And verse 25, husbands love your wife just as Christ also loved the church.

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And these thoughts are continual.

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In verse 29, look what he says, for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourished and cherished just as the Lord.

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He continues to make central the Lordship of Christ.

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And that's why, if you consider it brothers and sisters, the more we learn to be submissive to our God, the easier it ought to be for us to be submissive to one another.

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But the opposite is true.

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And again, that's why you find some of the most belligerent, stubborn, stiff-necked people because they're outside of Christ and they have not submitted their own heart to the Lord.

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How are they ever gonna find submission in the world? And so we wind up with all these abusive relationships and all these things.

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Just to finish that thought, look in chapter six in verse five, again, with the idea of the headship of Christ, it says, servants be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh with fear and trembling in sincerity of heart, where? As to Christ, as to Christ.

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Again, his Lordship is central.

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Even in the idea of the master in verse nine of chapter six, you masters do the same thing to them, giving up threatening, knowing that your own master also is in heaven and there is no partiality with him.

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Again, this whole thought of being submissive to one another, putting ourselves under the authority of another.

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Let me ask you to think about this.

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Get a few minutes left.

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I'm gonna suggest that one of the best ways to, well, let me preface it with a comment first.

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How many of us would say, and you don't have to say it out loud, but how many of us would say that we haven't done like a self-evaluation of ourselves? Like how am I doing in the Lord? And again, I think we all do it and I'm doing it in different ways, but we all do it.

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Well, I wanna suggest one of the better ways to gauge that, cause you know what it says, it says examine yourself, right? See if you're in the faith, prove your own self.

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No, you're not that Christ is in you except what? You be reprobate.

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But I really believe one of the better ways to gauge ourselves is to begin to gauge ourselves in this area of submission.

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Because again, I'll submit to you, the more we are submissive to the Lordship of Christ, therefore his word and his commands, the easier it ought to be for us to learn to be submissive in relationships.

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So if you look at your own life and you say, you know what, I ain't no more submissive than I was 10 years ago.

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Well, then I would say that you might wanna examine yourself, cause it really should be, wouldn't you agree we should be more submissive rather than less submissive, any disagreement? Anybody don't wanna submit to that truth? I really think that a lot of these one another's are not only for our, the way we live, but the way we think, because as we, as a man thinks in his heart, remember what it says, so he is, right? Well, let me give this to you as an example and maybe Brother Mike will be able to add a little bit to this.

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I would say in the eldership here, okay? So Brother Kate's been here for as many years as he's been.

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And I've been an elder here for three years and Brother Mike came in on the same boat.

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I would say, and here's where you Brother Matt might not be able to comment.

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I would say that I have found myself finding it easier to be submissive to Keith and Mike rather than more difficult.

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Because I beginning to understand more and more of my submission to the Lord.

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And then again, it's his work, not my work, right? This is his kingdom, not my kingdom.

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I find it easier to become submissive or be subject to Brother Keith's thoughts, his thinking and Brother Mike's than at the beginning.

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Brother Mike, you wanna comment on that? Yeah, because I was gonna ask the question in relationship that verse 21 or 2321 is actually dealing with church life.

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So for us to be submitted to one another, it doesn't mean we just walk around knowing everybody else tells us to do.

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It has to do, like you're saying, and we're just taking our elder relationship, it's being submissive to the thoughts that I could be wrong.

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I don't see, I only see it from one perspective, which is mine, and I need to take into account other people's perspective.

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And in the life of the church, we as elders need to take into account the deacon's perspective and the church member.

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And that we should, we could be wrong.

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It would be arrogant to say that we've got the perfect perspective, that we should submit to the need of the church.

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Not to the authority of, I'm sorry.

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No, no, go ahead.

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Not submit to what, not be obedient to the church, but for us to hear what their need is, because we can't see it without sometimes someone telling us, and then go, okay, how do we submit to the need, not the authority? And I guess that's, I don't want to sound confusing, but it's like we submit to the needs of our wives.

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We don't submit to their authority.

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Just like it says here, wives, husbands be subject to your wives, just as Christ gave himself up on earth.

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So Christ submitted himself to the need of the church.

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This is what? Salvation.

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And therefore he gave himself up.

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And I was thinking about husbands to the wives, husband and elders to the church, need to be looked to the need of the church, whether it be teaching, ministry, whatever.

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Be open about it.

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And the relationship is the essential, is the key to me.

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In other words, because the relationship is being nurtured by God.

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And again, any, hopefully in any relationship, right? The husband, wife relationship, parent, children, even in that sense, as a citizen to society and to those authorities, and that's where a lot of people really jump out of the boat, right? I'm not putting myself under the authority of that.

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Yo-yo that's in the White House.

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I'm not saying that.

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I'm just paraphrasing what people would say.

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So don't quote me on that.

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Doesn't mean I, what? My whole point is it's as our relationships grow with the Lord, as our relationship with the Lord grows, our relationship, and maybe that's what I was trying to convey a little bit, that between me, Mike and Keith, I am finding the relationship is more of a mutual submission.

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And again, even in thoughts of marriage, even in the thoughts of parents and children or parents and grandchildren, or he brings up this whole idea of servants and masters.

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To be obedient to those that have rule over us, or, you know, there's a lot of disgruntled postman.

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They still refuse to submit to their employment.

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And we read about these horrific things that take place where someone goes into their employment and what do they do? They blow the place apart.

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And a lot of it is they still resist.

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They still resist the authority that's being placed on them.

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Remember what it says in James? God does what? He resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.

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So again, in this area of submitting to one another, I really believe we need to draw near to God.

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And then by drawing near to God, it enables us to draw near to one another, especially in the relationships that Paul speaks about.

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He basically covers them all, doesn't he? He covers husbands and wives, parents and children, masters and servants from every different possible angle.

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So again, I would ask you to think about that in your own meditation.

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Am I finding it easier to be submissive or am I finding it more difficult to be submissive? What would be some reasons why you would be finding it more difficult to be submissive? Any thoughts? What grinds against being submissive? Pride, okay.

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What else? How about this? Abuse? You think that's a detriment to submissiveness? You think of anything else that would be a hindrance? How about, I don't wanna throw it down.

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How about lack of understanding? And I think to somewhat, you were talking about that where if you don't understand someone's need or you don't understand someone's point of view or you don't understand someone's opinion, well, in that sense, you don't understand someone even from a personality standpoint because we're all different, right? From a propensity kind of thought where if I know that so-and-so has this kind of a slant on thing and I'm not willing to be submissive to the reality that God has created them different than me, well, then I'm gonna find it more and more difficult to be submissive to them, right? So again, a lot of this has to do with relationships.

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And I would submit to you, that's one of the reasons why people don't truly join a community of believers.

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You know, when you join a church, just think about it as an insert, when you join a church, you gotta give up a lot.

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If you're gonna be a true member of a body of Christ, there's a lot of things you gotta let go of, wouldn't you agree? And you have two choices, well, either you're gonna let go of them or you're just gonna let go of that body.

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And that's what a lot of people do, don't they? I'm not gonna be submissive to this church, I'm gonna go to that church or I'm not gonna go to church at all.

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I don't know how many people, when we meet them and talk to them all the time, right? Because I am gonna go to church.

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We are really saying that I'm not gonna submit myself to the authority and the Lordship of Christ as it's displayed in his body.

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And so, of course, we defend that, we build a castle around that and say, well, you know, I can worship, you know, it's stories, I can worship God everywhere, anywhere, and I don't need anybody to tell me to do anything.

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I've heard people say, well, the scriptures say all I need is the spirit of God.

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Well, yeah, I mean, I've heard people say that's really why they don't read the Bible because God is the great one who sanctifies.

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And I said, you think that and you go sit under the trees somewhere and wait for postcards from heaven and you better bring a blanket because you're gonna be there for a while.

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Thoughts, as Brother Mike says, thoughts, complaints, compliments, cage fights and such.

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Okay, well, as we continue to go through it and I'll give you something to think about.

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We are working through these one and others.

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We should be done with the one and others by May, give or take.

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And then we are going to do something different.

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We haven't finalized it yet.

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Well, that will mean that we have covered basically 36 one and others.

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And so I hope that as we work through the rest of these, that it becomes in some ways an asset to us and that we take to heart the, cause these are commands friends, right? And let me end it that way.

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This is not optional, right? Submission is not optional.

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We are to be submissive to Christ.

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No disagreement, right? But people will say, well, I could be submissive to Christ.

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Doesn't mean I have to be submissive in this situation.

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Well, if the scripture says we ought to be submissive, we ought to be submissive, right? Wouldn't that the whole issue with taxes? Render with the Caesar the things that are Caesar's.

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And I guess you try to work around it by saying, well, Caesar doesn't, he don't deserve anything, kind of.

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All right, should be a good day.

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Soup, salad, sandwiches, desserts, worship, singing, praying, preaching, what's close? Well, thank you for who you are, Lord.

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Help us to learn to be more and more submissive to you, to put ourselves under your authority and your rule in our life.

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And Lord, by that, may you grant us the grace to display it in all our relationships and in every relationship all the time, Lord, that we would learn to submit to one another in the fear of God for your glory and for our own eternal good, amen.