TLP 17: The Most Important Thing I Can Say to Parents

Today's episode is called the most important thing I can say to parents, because there's nothing you and I need more if we want to be the best parents possible.

Welcome to Truth.

Love. Parent.

Where we use God's Word to become intentional, premeditated parents. Here's your host, A .M.

Brewster.

A New Year of Parenting and the Mission of Truth.Love.Parent

Welcome to the new year. I am Aaron Michael Brewster, and this is Truth.

Love.

Parent.

Welcome to Truth.

Parent, a podcast of the Evermind Ministries family, 100 dedicated to helping you become an intentional, premeditated parent using God's perfect Word. We here at TLP are very excited to tell you about two surprises for your family in the.

New year.

The first is that starting today, we'll be airing every Tuesday and Friday. That's right, for those of you who just can't get enough of God's Word applied to your parenting,.

Truth.

Love.

Parent and I will be hanging out with you twice a week. And the second piece of good news is that we're launching a brand new TLP Facebook page. Every day we plan to share parenting tips, articles, images, links, and basically anything we find that will help you in the most monumental task God's given you, discipling your children.

I was checking it out today and there's already a bunch of stuff posted there, more than enough to get you going in the new year. I'll link the Facebook address for you in the description, but you can also search Truth.

Love.

Parent on Facebook. Be sure to like us and take the extra step of choosing your following option. If you choose see first, then you'll never miss a post. And since we post an average of three times a day, you don't need to worry about being inundated with too much material.

And lastly, please share us with your friends. I don't know how you stumbled on us, maybe it was by accident, but most people will only listen to a podcast or read an article from a blog if a trustworthy friend suggests it or shares it on their social media.

Please be that trustworthy friend. We want nothing more than to expose God's beautiful, life-changing truth to as many people as possible. When you share our posts and podcasts, you're helping to spread the gospel to a larger and larger sphere.

Last year, our podcasts were heard in 18 different countries. So thank you. Thank you in advance for the part that you're going to do this year to promote the scriptures through our multiple outlets on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest.

God's word is the only source of truth that can help us become intentional, premeditated parents and we all need it. All right, today's topic follows closely on the heels of last week's episode, planning for a successful family.

If you remember, we discussed the types of New Year's resolutions all our families need to make and the threefold plan for helping those resolutions becomes part of the foundation of our homes. If you didn't hear it, I suggest you listen to it today because it's never too late to make a plan for your family's growth.

Parenting as a Divine Calling Requiring Re-evaluation

And I believe that all Christ-following parents should start the new year off critical of last year's parenting and genuinely motivated to up their parenting game. My wife and I have been talking for weeks now about the same thing, whether it's spending more quality one-on-one time with the kids or being more purposeful in our correction, Johanna and I want so badly to be better parents this year.

And so today's episode is called the most important thing I can say to parents because there is nothing you and I need more if we want to be the best parents possible. Are you ready? Here goes. Take a moment to consider how you became a dad or mom.

Nine months of new experiences, discomfort, pain, and joy ushered you into the shimmering sphere of parenthood. Since then, depending on how old your children are, you've experienced 20 strollers full of new difficulties, about 30 backpacks of learning experiences, seven carloads of hardship, and a vast landscape of happiness.

Whether you chose to educate your children formally or not, you've inevitably distilled and instilled more life lessons into them than potentially any other human being ever.

Will.

And for this cause, parents like you have been celebrated in literature, videos, blogs, memes, tweets, vines, and even graffiti. And yet, the question must be asked, what qualified you to be a parent?

What certification, education, training, or experience did you receive to prepare you for the monumental composition that is child rearing? No doubt you read baby books, as my wife and I did. Depending on your age, you may have googled everything from baby names to vaccinations to potty training tips.

But think about it. In order to operate a vehicle, fire a gun, or work at McDonald's, you need training and certification. Still every day, people have children without a single clue about what they're doing.

Making babies is fun. We'll worry about the rest later.

Hmm.

So, what's my point? Well, I'm concerned that we intentional parents not miss the divine opportunity for some parental re-evaluation. Did you realize that the Bible never celebrates moms and dads? No, it doesn't.

It actually just trains them. It wasn't uncommon before the turn of the 20th century for women to prepare for motherhood by enrolling in seminary. Many of them understood that the single most important information they would need to be a victorious mother was simply this, the truth of God's word.

Unfortunately, today, especially in fundamentalism, seminary is the last place you'll find a woman. Most of them are getting majors in nursing or education or business or art, despite the fact that though such majors can teach you how to make a living, they cannot teach you how to make a servant of God.

And the same goes for men. We're so consumed with educating ourselves for a career, we forget to educate ourselves for discipling a child. I propose that no vocation or calling or charity or mission will ever require more from you than rearing a child, and I think you know that.

You don't work your job 24 -7. At your job, you get breaks, you take vacations, you retire, but parenthood is always, and the investment is eternal. Second only to child of God and husband or wife, dad or mom is the most important title you'll ever have.

It's the most dangerous and fulfilling calling to receive, and yet most parents are depressingly unprepared. So, what's the fix, you ask? Well, it's actually pretty simple. Whether you're a new parent—congratulations, by the way—whether you're jogging through the teen years or you're an empty nester, you need to be constantly training.

Listen, men who fix printers have weekend-long training seminars. Salesmen seem to hit the conference circuit more than they interact with their clients. And IT guys? Well, when are they not reading up on the trendiest tech news?

But parents are apparently too busy to get the training they need to prepare them for tomorrow, yet they're the ones most loathe to neglect it. So here are some helpful starting points for parents of all stages.

There's a lot of overlap, but the key is to get as much training in God's Word as you can and then learn how to teach it to others, because that's really the best way to ever be a parent. So, number one, if you're not a parent yet, consider a degree in biblical counseling.

Think about it. What's parenting if it's not intentional premeditated discipleship? What if you went into parenting with a solid foundation of biblical knowledge and the ability to expertly pass God's truth on to others?

And think about that.

Wow.

Parents come to me all the time because I'm the quote-unquote counselor, but what if you didn't need me and people like me? Imagine a world where each parent was versed enough in God's law they could teach it to their sons, talking of them when they sit in their house and when they walk along the road and when they lie down and when they rise up.

By the way, that was a paraphrase from Deuteronomy 11, 19, where God commands his people to be able to teach their children God's truths at every moment of the day. Of course, the compromise may be that you study biblical counseling as a minor or at least attend a Christian university where you can take electives to prepare you for serving God in this world.

Reading, Church, and Bible Study as Ongoing Parental Training

Number two, if you're a new parent who can't go back to school, then you need to be constantly reading, listening, reading, and reading. It's so easy to want to read things like things people call their kids or tune into a podcast called Baby Wise Guys, but those things can't teach you to shepherd a child's heart, to prepare kids for Satan's attacks, or to teach children to choose a Christ-honoring spouse.

The exciting news is that there are amazing books and podcasts and articles from God-loving authors for basically every stage of your child's life. But remember, you need more of God's truth and less of the trendy psycho talk as you're going through and you're trying to pick the articles and pick the authors.

Remember, it's the Bible we're after here. That is the only book guaranteed to work. Isaiah 55 11 tells us, "...so will my word be which goes forth from my mouth. It will not return to me empty without accomplishing what I desire, and without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it.".

God says, my word is where the power is. My word is where things get done. So we need to get in church. We need to join a Bible study. On that note, as a side note, my wife loves the Bible study called Entrusted with a Child's.

Heart.

And one of the reasons she loves it is that it's just chock full of God's truth. You may want to check that out, especially you ladies. So get to church, spend time with the Lord every second you get.

I have a number of favorite curriculum-sized books I plan to suggest in an upcoming episode, but for now, you can also start by reading Bible-centered articles. Victory Academy for Boys publishes a parenting digest that collects valuable Christian material from all over the web and puts it into one place.

I'll go ahead and I'll put the link in the description for you if you're interested in checking it out. Of course, obviously, Evermind Ministries is a good place for articles designed to help you be a more Christ-honoring Christian.

And of course, you're already listening here, so keep that up. And our new Facebook page is also going to be similar to the Victory Academy Parent Digest in that we're going to link articles from other authors, too.

It won't just be from Evermind Ministries. So number one, consider getting formally trained in biblical counseling. And if that won't work, surround yourself with biblical teachers. Get to church. Join that Bible study.

Read as much as you can and listen to podcasts like this. And number three, if you've had kids for a while and still feel ill-equipped, don't give in to hopelessness. I realize this was the first don't on my list, but not feeling hopeless is the absolute first priority for you in this stage.

I've heard a milieu of parents lament that it's too late for us. Listen, that is a lie of Satan. Don't believe it. You have a great God. Start today grounding yourself in the Scripture. Start talking about it when you sit down and take walks and before bed at night.

You will change slowly, but it will make all the difference. You're not a hypocrite if you've failed in the past, but genuinely want to be changed into the image of Christ now. You're a hypocrite if you wish your kids would make the right choices, but you're not prepared to do it yourself.

Read, study, grow, teach. Every year I work with parents whose kids have gone off the rails. And every year, some of the parents heed my advice and focus on their own spiritual growth and some don't. But every year, the ones who make their relationship with God their number one focus, those experience amazing changes in their families and personal lives, even if their son goes home unchanged.

Passing God's Word to the Next Generation

And number four, lastly, whether your kids are grown and gone or not, pass on your knowledge of God's Word to the next generation. Empty housers aren't off the hook when it comes to discipling. Remember when you were that inexperienced mom who wasn't prepared to have kids?

Wouldn't it have been amazing if a more experienced mom had poured her knowledge of God's truth into you? For you fathers, how uplifting would it have been to have a mature dad bear your burdens, sharpen you, and disciple you?

Listen, be that for someone else. And you don't have to wait until you have gray hair to do this. Just whatever you do, make sure you're using God's Word and not simply anecdotes from your past experiences.

The people you're talking to don't need your memories. They need God. Remembering this keeps the no one cares what I think line from zipping over our lips too. You're right. What we think doesn't matter.

What I think doesn't matter. But we've been called in Titus 2 -4 to teach the Bible. So teach it. As far as we know, Paul wasn't married and didn't have children. And yet his epistles have some of the most applicable truth for couples and families.

Lastly, I'd like to tack on a little warning here. Please beware of this very dangerous pitfall. If the only reason you decide to read the Bible and go to church and attend that Bible study is to help your kids turn out the way you want them to, trust me, you will have no divine blessing on your endeavors.

The real motivation for studying to show yourself approved must be the impact it will have on you and your relationship with God. Otherwise, you're the parental equivalent of a false teacher who knows the truth, but is using it to achieve idle purposes.

Parenting should never be about your kids. Parenting must be an act of worship to God. And the beautiful consequences of a life lived for God is that your Christlikeness will impact every facet of your life.

So go out and get that Doctorate of Theological Parenthood Counseling from God himself. Get into his Word. Get some training. We're gonna be talking with Heath Lambert in the next few weeks, and I'm very excited because he's got some awesome resources for all of us who are interested in learning to take God's truth and give it to our children and help them understand it better.

And if you know that you need help in what we discussed today, please don't hesitate to contact us at counselor at evermindministries .com. We have men and women standing by to assist you in your journey to become an intentional premeditated parent.

Truth. Love. Parent.

Is part of the Evermind Ministries family and is dedicated to helping you become an intentional premeditated parent. Join us next time as we search God's Word for the truth your family needs today.