Biblical Counseling (part 13)

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Biblical Counseling (part 14)

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A loving father, we thank you for this beautiful day. You've given us just to see the white snow falling outside always reminds us of your son's righteousness and How our sins though they were as scarlet have been covered
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For your son's blood father we pray as we begin this
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Class that you would super intend all the words that are spoken that your spirit would lead and guide us into all truth
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In Jesus name we pray. Amen All right, so Once again,
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I'm just going to use those four words over and over again until it's kind of drilled in your minds Right on the top of your handout.
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It's love. No speak do As you minister and counseling to people who are either struggling with sin or in trials
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You want to be able to love them get involved in their lives as they are going through this problem
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Galatians 6 1 & 2 you want to be inspiring or providing hope that there is that the
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Word of God and God Himself Lends us aid in the midst of their troubles No, you want to understand what the root causes of the problem are not just the surface situation interpret to understand how those root problems are
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Translate into those terms that the Bible speaks of speak You want to provide instructions from the word?
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What does the Bible say about the specific area? Inducement you want to encourage them to follow after the
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Lord in that particular? Circumstance and finally do which is to help For the person who needs the help to implement what
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God has called for in their lives and not just settle with that particular situation they are facing but really get integrated into all of the things that God has for them as a
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As a believer in the church to be integrated in the church and to be able to serve Especially in those areas where God has helped them.
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So that's the love no speak and do Last week we started off on the practical application of how does this look like in a specific area?
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so we talked about anger and we look very almost narrowly on anger as parents relate to children and We spent most of our time on that just touching a few things around it
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We do have a parenting Q &A there. So I think you know any parenting questions Maybe we would hold off for now and let pastor
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Mike do that in this series on parenting today, I wanted to pick up another topic that was listed last week, which is fear and Fear has many different tendrils that touch on many aspects of our life
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So what I was hoping to do was just Take a few moments to just talk a little bit about fear in general and then get a few examples and then start to apply
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Them, how do we look to God look to his word for help in the midst of fear? sound good and Oh, by the way in your handouts, so there is a it is attachment three.
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It's one of those it says Approximately hundred go -to texts for biblical counseling and the section on fear is rather Limited so we'll supplement it with verses that we can think of.
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So let's begin with All right, let's begin with Scriptures.
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So what does the Bible say about fear? It's okay If you want to look into your handout and read those verses too, but what are some things that the
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Bible says about fear? Don't be anxious for anything but in everything with prayer and supplication let your request be made known to God and The peace of God that passes all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus so here you have anxiety on one hand and then you have the peace of God on the other as you are
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Tempted to be anxious tempted to go to be fearful There is a remedy that Philippians 4 gives us and then the silly and the result is that the peace of God will guard your
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Peace of God will guard your heart and mind. So excellent. So that's one verse. What are the verses do?
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Can you think of? Amen, I think that's Matthew 7 where Jesus talks about, you know
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Don't just be fearful of your the people that can cause you bodily harm
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But rather let your fear fear be of God who can destroy both body and soul in hell and and that's actually a key
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Text as we think of how do we deal with fear, especially as as it deals with other people
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What are the texts can we think of? Yeah, and that might be possibly the root OT text that Jesus had in mind when he was saying what can man do to you?
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and And the verse that you just what was the reference
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Psalm 56 3 & 4 there it talks about, you know, you have fear and the in contrast to fear of that whatever man can do to you is
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Trusting in God that you know, I may not have the resource to handle this situation this person
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But there is a God in heaven who can help me through this So I put my trust in him rather than maybe in myself or in how
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I can respond I Had one joke for today and I'll get it over with right now
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And some of you may know today is the hallmark Valentine's Day and if you have any
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Fear about how you may may or may not do this day of atonement for the year of not loving your spouse
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Just put on love perfect love will cast out all fear. I Can't believe it at work
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I go and everybody was talking about what day is it? Oh, okay You can just see my the romantic aspects of my life
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And my wife is sick at home. It's not because of that that she's not here Any other verses yeah,
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Isaiah 41 10 and So we so we have a few verses on fear that you can just Keep in your mind as we now start to try to apply them.
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There's many more. Obviously, there's one verse we haven't used which I think We will get to in a minute as we start to apply this
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The reason I started out with this was if you're dealing with yourself or with somebody else
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You probably won't remember all the verses on fear, you know that the scriptures talk about you may not have a systematic understanding of how
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The Bible deals with fear and it's okay There are some things that you may already know and then you study
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You know, I still have an old -fashioned concordance in the back of my Bible You just go back get and look at a few of those verses you can you know
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Do your Bible search with fear you get a ton of voices. Those are all simple ways in which to say
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Oh, you know, here's what the scripture says about it. And then and then how does it apply in this particular area?
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So now let's switch over to some examples of fear fear can be very minimal, you know some things that you're just dealing with on an ongoing basis on and off as some
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Circumstances come your way or they can be catastrophic, you know, I can just Take over your life and you may be paralyzed by fear and unable to function at all because of the circumstance
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So no matter where those circumstances are What are some of the examples of fear that? We would like to look for biblical counsel on just just throw it a few examples instead of just picking one
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We'll just pick a few maybe categorize them and then start to apply the scriptures worry and And I think that goes back to the first verse that we just talked about Philippians 4, you know, there's this
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Future event that could happen and I'm Concerned about that eventuality that is going to come and so I worry about how that From now until that point in time, how am
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I going to walk? Am I going to walk in ongoing worry and fear and anxiety or how can
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I find joy in the midst of that? Maybe you can give a little more context. That'll be helpful.
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So we can yeah, that's excellent
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So maybe we'll connect those two. So what that eventuality may actually be certain, you know, it's like oh
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I have six months to live or it might be my company has lost You know revenues and I know they're going to lay off people
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It's happening or it might be something else. That's not as certain but it is still
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In my mind at least highly probable and that is causing me fear and worry What other examples do we have?
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Looks like we have a fearless bunch here Charlie and I think maybe we can even broaden that a little bit more
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So especially with when it comes to government, you know You trust and use maybe they fail you and then you know, you're seeing a lot more than you should in this situation but even people that you have
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Trusted in that have maybe betrayed you and now you are fearful of engaging with them Being honest with them
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So there is this aspect of you know I've been bitten once and I want to be careful or over careful or over compensate to not meet failure
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Fear of men and fear of how you look in front of men actually, this is funny because Through the last few weeks.
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I've had a situation that was going on and I was like I Know in my mind. I'm not afraid of the consequences, but I was getting stress headaches.
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I'm like, okay something is just you know, if I'm really not trusting if I'm really trusting in the
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Lord then this is one of those symptoms that I shouldn't be having and On Friday, I was talking to another brother just similar biblical counseling thing and just sharing with him
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I'm not sure why this is happening and he said exactly the same thing and I was like, come on Me and of course, you know a few hours later
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With a little bit of conviction by the Spirit like oh, that's exactly it You know, I really don't care about the consequences of what's gonna happen, but I do think about what people think about me
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All right. Thank you Lord. And now I know where to apply my mind to it And so once again,
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I think we had a few verses about what can man do to me? And it's always the contrast between man and God, you know
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Focus on what the Lord how the Lord sees this as opposed to how other people see me
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All right, maybe one more one or two more examples and we'll start working through this and that's excellent And actually that was one of the things
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I wanted to start with which is, you know, there are some fears that Seem appropriate, you know if I am lazy and my manager just came and told me you're gonna lose your job
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If you don't start working next month, we're gonna meet again. I'd better buck up and say, okay
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I'm gonna do something differently. I was doing something wrong. I repent of it. I confess it and then I start Following the
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Lord in terms of doing the things that he calls me to do and in fact There's one more aspect of it.
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We'll come back to that But that's there is a sense in which we ought to be looking at ways
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We should repent of our sin repent of our laziness And and there is a way in which we get some data that reminds me that I need to do something differently than what
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I've been Doing before so there may be a lot of context here But what you used
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I think will keep that to spur us towards action in the right way But we don't want it to bloom
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Into something that is Unhealthy paralyzing and just fixated on the fear itself.
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All right any other last Examples. All right. So let so we've looked at a few examples of fear there's plenty more and each of you can maybe look at situations in your life that generate fear and Tempt you to fall walk in a path.
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That is Unhelpful in terms of meeting the circumstance or trusting in the
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Lord through it now the one verse that I wanted us to dwell on a little bit before we start to apply is the fear of the
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Lord The fear of the Lord if you do a search on in the Bible about the number of times the word fear is used
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Yes, there's many places where it warns us not to fear. There's not a fear that And to trust in the
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Lord, but the majority of your verses will all be about fear of the
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Lord and for a Unbeliever, there is a fear of the Lord that is filled with terror because he is the righteous judge with whom they have to make do and that is a fear of Retribution of punishment and of eternal
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Damnation under the heavy hand of God and that's fear for an unbeliever ought to drive them toward the cross
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Because there is a solution that God has given us people don't have to remain in that terror of God But rather come under the umbrella of their of the
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Sun's redeeming love but for the believer, there is a fear of the
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Lord that is clean that is pure that is wholesome that is Tremendous in Driving away the fear of everything else
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So let's talk a little bit about a fear of the Lord and then we'll now try to apply it to all of the situations
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That we just talked about so fear of the Lord. What does that look like? What is the fear of the Lord? Okay so, you know many of the time the term fear is tinged with so much of the terror aspect of it that we feel like you know, that's
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That's it's clearly not the kind of fear that an unbeliever needs to have toward God because God is my father Jesus is my
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Lord. He's my brother. He's my friend the Spirit of God actually indwells me So there is a love that binds me to my
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God so much that it is not a fear It's it's not a terrorizing fear when I think of God now
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You use one word, which I think is very important. I think reverence was the word you use Yeah So there ought to be a holy reverence as we look up to God and recognize who he is in and of himself
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Let's kind of fill that out a little bit more Thank you, Charlie. So Charlie is bringing out some handouts.
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If any of you don't have maybe you can So reverence and we're going to develop this a little bit more
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What what else do we think of and we think of fear of the Lord? Amen and And I should that's the solution to most of our fears.
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So we'll come and unpack that in a moment. Yes, absolutely so maybe we'll just Follow this thread a little bit and then come back to what how a holy fear a holy reverence for God Is yet specific.
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We'll have to continue Cindy's verses till verse 8 in Philippians 4 and that is such a
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Powerful antidote to fear, you know, whatever is good. Whatever is noble. Whatever is wholesome,
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I before I Mess up that verse. I'll stop So So, so let's let's kind of walk through a little bit of the generic process and then we'll apply this so well
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I'm looking at a fear because either it is an eventuality that is assured that is in front of me that I'm That I'm going to face a forward -looking thing or it is a situation that has come upon me
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And I do not know how to respond to it. I don't have money. I have lost Relationship I have lost my mind
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I've lost my health whatever it is that that I'm dealing with at this point or it is even an irrational one of something that I don't know.
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I'm dreading something that is about That is looming in the horizon and that's consumed me all of these
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Trials and the temptation to fear often come so close to me that that is all
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I can see So when I'm stuck in the middle of my trial This mountain has grown so huge that I can't see quite past it and when we were talking about paralyzing fear
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That's exactly what happens because now my my mind my spirit can't quite look past this
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It's overwhelming and I feel like I'm going to be crushed under this particular fear causing agent that is in my life and So back to what you were saying
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We are we we have a fear of man circumstance situation myself to a fear of the
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Lord now when we talked about Reverence, I want to just give you a few examples of what that fear of the
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Lord ought to look like I think in Evangelicalism we've kind of lost that sense of the fear of the
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Almighty He's become our friend. He's become our buddy Even as you know reformed believers we can sometimes just lay low on okay.
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God loves me Fine. I read the attributes of God and that hasn't penetrated into my soul direct to To be able to break past these mountains that have come before me
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And so when I talk about reverence I want to give you a couple of examples in the
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Old Testament of believers who are overcome by fear you had David a
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Few times in his life, but one of the times he acted as a madman You remember that the guy who killed
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Goliath was drooling in the in Gath before the king Fearful of what this man could do to him not remembering the might of God which he had
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Witnessed so many times before and will witness afterward we saw last time in the end of 1st
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Samuel he when Zigglag was taken over by the Amalekites. They were just completely destroyed not just David but all of his warriors were wailing and Thinking of killing
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David and then we hear something that that's very strange We read David strengthened himself in the
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Lord And there was something that helped him look past this calamity of loss of everything that should have been
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Humanly speaking gone away from him to the Lord who was by his side and this man
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David Trusted in the Lord and the Lord delivered him out of his calamity. Amen. Amen Thy word
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I have hid in my heart that I may not sin But thy word is a lamp unto my feet and light unto my path those things the
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Word of God that reveals the God of this universe those truths are Crucial as we walk through life and so, you know, we abused
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Romans 12 1 and 2 over and over again in the series We do not confirm do not be conformed to this world
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Be transformed by the renewing of your mind and then there's a The words ends with that you may test and know what is the will of God and when it comes to trials like this
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Let's just take fear You know all of us from childhood until now have experienced fears of various kind when you become a believer you started to see
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Fear in light of something else you now have God by your side as you walk through these you are not perfect in Overcoming every fear obstacle some you've fallen down.
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You've gotten up and repented others you have Gained mastery over and and then the trials can tend to get bigger and bigger as you grow more and more mature in the
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Lord The Lord will provide those things where he also gives you the grace to be able to walk through them
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But you can look back and say okay here here The two has the Lord helped me and my God is even bigger and the more you study and know about God the better you
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Are equipped to deal with the assaults of the enemy and when you think of courage, what is courage courage is being able to Walk through that value of the shadow of death while you have your eyes on the
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Lord pastor Steve just gave the example of being on the sheriff's department and facing life -and -death situations
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And it is you are equipping yourself by being you know You know as a policeman the way that you would be equipped and as a believer this is how you equip having a grand vision of who
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God is and what he has said what he has promised as you walk through This one of the verses that all of us.
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I'm sure have memorized is Romans 828 All things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to his purpose
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When that becomes not just an intellectual ascent, but it becomes a firm conviction that my
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God is sovereign He is governing this universe exactly as he wishes this mountain that is by my side is no surprise to him and he is bigger than this mountain and that's really where your your battle against Your trial or your temptation begins and especially when it comes to fear, so we looked at David a little bit
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Let me just throw a few more examples, and then now let's apply all right, so let's go back to Let me just I had three.
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I'll just pick one for the sake of time. Let's just pick Moses. You know friend of God Who never took
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God to be you know just a casual friend when he desired to know him so much more that he came
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Close to him and God had to kind of hide his eyes as it were as he passed through There are many events in David in Moses life where which are fear inducing or causing just put yourself in Moses Situations like okay predict was before the
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Pharaoh and asking that he didn't release all of his soldier all of his people all his slaves
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My head would be off the by neck except that I had the God of the heaven and earth behind my back
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You just think of those circumstances that God was faithful to people like this and their awe of God their reverence for God their fear of the
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Lord and recognizing how big and grand and mighty he is are those things that That give them the courage to walk past what we humanly seem impossible, so let's let me pause there
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We could talk a lot more about this I was thinking of Abraham and Job as a couple of examples and job may be just briefly
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What was the boost in his arm he got not a covid vaccine not a booster shot
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But when he was so down and like oh this my life is in ruins
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God just says here. I am this is who I am Transformation you know you can see how he says first I'll stop saying all this nonsense about my life
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I can see how big my God is and then God is like okay. That's not just quite enough Let me tell you more and when
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God tells him or and he's like my God is so great and you know he's now praising God not just stopping the nonsense that was coming out of his mouth and and That happens when your eyes are opened to the might of God in that particular circumstance so far
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We've been general let's pick one example of the many that we talked if you can make it a little more specific
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We'll try to then walk through. How do we counsel ourselves and others through this trial? Any of you who've given an example before or a new one for a
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Trial of fear that seems overwhelming Excellent example, we'll just maybe follow the thread a little bit more so you know this isn't there
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So you have a brother or a sister in the body who is sinning in a specific way that you have noticed your choices are a ignore it
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Easy way out God see you get I don't have to worry about it be I Tell somebody else about it.
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They can do this better than me, and that would be called Gossip slander, so that'll be you'll be compounding the sin by doing that And then you have a command to actually do something about it so the your right response there is to go and talk to that person and I think
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Charlie I think you used first John for about love and fear and their relationship And if you are motivated by love for God for the purity of the church and love for this person that they may
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Know and repent of their sin then you would approach them in love in wanting to tell them something that they may be either ignorant of or May be caught in a pattern of sin.
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Whatever that status our responsibility is not sanctification our
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Responsibility is to help a brother or sister by coming alongside and then Matthew 18 has those steps that God has given us
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And we can trust that God will walk us through that Our goal is and I could be wrong.
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You know I go there, and I tell them this is what you What were you thinking you know this is what really happened, okay?
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Thank you know the relationship is restored so whatever the consequences are When we trust the
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Lord and do it with a desire to honor him and to help my brother or my sister I can count on God Working through that situation now the fear there is really that fear of man that we struggle with and we want to make sure that we
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Trust in the Lord look at him and gain the confidence and the courage to go and meet with a brother or sister.
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Thank you So there is the eventuality of it may
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I will find out it is really bad, or I may find out that it's Nothing, I don't know at this point now.
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I'm waiting. I think my favorite theologian in the Lord of the Rings He talks about how it is the waiting for the battle that is the most
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Difficult as opposed to you're in the battle and fighting and and that's you know one of the verses that really
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Helped me in those times is the Isaiah verse on the peace that we get by looking to God rather than the people that Have to give us the news that is coming and knowing that he is sovereign over that so my mind
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Humanly speaking wants to think through some of the paths that this could go and nothing wrong in that and as I'm preparing for whatever it is that I might hear but Back to what
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Charlie was saying that path of recognizing. What's what are my options that I might hear?
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Can tend into a downward spiral that can be very disastrous and debilitating and so once I have done my diligence of thinking through My eyes need to turn from this mountain into the
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Lord where I wait upon the Lord for his Message, but it's coming through this person or that person
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I had to tell my mom not to Google when she had a Situation like this because that was one of those most dangerous things instead of three or four things
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You know thinking of 500 things and it's like no, you know, my Lord has this under control
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There's only one of these and he's already ahead of me at the end. And so I can trust in him while I wait
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That's a great point because one response could be inactivity in a sinful way Yeah, no, that's the path you are describing right now
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So I may have to do something in light of what I've heard so my situation currently may be fearful
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But the path ahead may be even more Scary than where I am today so I can just settle in my current state as okay.
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God is sovereign And losing sight of my responsibility in this particular situation that I need to do
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Right and and and that's normally that it's that Responsibility part that is more terrifying to a lot of people because you know,
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I may know very clearly This is the path I need to walk on but that path is too scary and I need to know that My God is by my side
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He will walk with me through the valley of the shadow of death and I can trust him in making the steps that need to go from here and And then you have
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Situations where you have a range of choices that are before you not just one path But you could do this and still be not sinning against God you could be doing this and you're not be sinning against God But each of those will have different consequences, you know one you might die early
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In the other you may live long, but you'll have other Challenges that you might face and these are choices that godly people can choose
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I'm I'm just bounding it by what would be biblically acceptable to do and you can choose those things and that's one of the places where you know, you get counsel from brothers and sisters, you know, if you're afraid of one or the other and Get some insight about people who've gone through those paths before and then and then recognize that you know
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It's not a sin to choose a or B But you should do one of the other and and so, you know
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Recognizing that the Lord will give you the wisdom. I mean, I may only see the next step I may not see five steps down the road, but the
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Lord will give me what I need to walk each step of the way Our best of knowledge is
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Probability But God's knowledge is certain my days are in his hands and the very hair in my head is numbered
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Nothing happens to me outside of his sovereign decree and so in that I can dress I We are out of time so we'll wrap it up I'll just give you a couple of examples say there was a face in my life at work where every day
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I had to bolster courage to go into work and I would just listen to Christian music and I Was I my brain was so heavy that I couldn't dwell on deep theology
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Thankful to God that in the past the theology was there already but all
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I would need is like one song with a Simple theology of God to just hold on to go through the day look back and say thank you
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Lord You know, my fear was a mountain, but you have been my stronghold through this day Get back wake up next day repeat
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Can't remember even just what happened yesterday but I have to kind of go through that same cycle and but that period of time was just such a
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Beautiful time and I got to see the face of God in so much more splendor than I did before and so God's purpose as we've been talking about in counseling.
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It's not just helping us to kind of get it off here and move on It's about us getting to know him better us being transformed by his power
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Us to look to Christ and be like Christ as we come out of the trial on the other side
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Maybe one more thing I sometimes think of what's the worst -case scenario sometimes because my mind tends to wander too much just think of the worst -case scenario and I can commit that to the
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Lord and say if this happens I know I you are trustworthy Lord and then after that I don't have to worry about all the other
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Tendrils that my mind in the middle of the night wants to think it's like if he can handle that everything else is good
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What can man do to me? All right. Let's let's close in prayer a loving father.
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We thank you for your son a Lord and Savior Jesus Christ the one who faced weakness in much greater measure than each of us ever will and yet he trusted in you and you never failed it and Each of us here can look back and see how you have fulfilled your word to us in very difficult times and So father as we look at the mountains ahead of us
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As we look at our friends who are going through deep valleys I Pray that you would give us that Reminders of how awesome you are how beyond the ability of our minds to grasp your greatness lies
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That a true fear of you Would envelope our hearts and minds with that love that casts out all the fear of other things
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Lord we also pray for this Service that we have we pray that you would exalt yourself
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Mightily in our midst and may you O Lord receive all the order and the glory in Jesus name.