A WOW Moment - July 30th 2020

Adoption in Earthly Families and in Christ

Yeah I'm sure there's one around here. So no, it's fine.

Just slide it up. There you go, that was good.

You like that, that's your alternate. Go-to. I know I'm gonna sit, you can sit in the back. That's my, who's sitting in the back? That's my study. We can sit.

That's what I stand with. I love sitting in the back. Actually it's pretty good to have all this room now. Oh my glasses, thank you. What are you doing? Yeah I got the book and I was like I better put the glasses on so I can see.

Yeah I need glasses. What are you doing? What are you doing? That did nothing. I have to wear my glasses too guys. Wait a minute.

Let me see your phone camera so I can zoom in. Okay. That's what I usually do. I know, that was his dad. That's what I thought. He recognized. I looked over. We were at Miranda's graduation party.

I look over and he's got his phone camera on the menu and it zoomed in and I was like Nikki Are you trying to read.

I did, I didn't have lunch.

Alright. Definitely not the first time you've had to do that.

No, not the last. We have a few people in here so that will work. I always try to look up with these on and it makes me nauseous. Good evening everybody, welcome to our Bible study. I'm Nikki, you all know the star of Mercedes.

I wanted to call you Jerry the king of all work. Please don't do that. Glad you took the glasses off. Anyways. Tonight we are at the church. We are in the Hallmaker's classroom because we have several guests tonight.

We have Aisha Howard and Mickey Hall. They are not related. They are, but they're not. That's something we're going to talk about later. We also have Tara Hall. She's behind the camera. I can't see her, she's waving.

Tonight we're actually going to do a study on adoption and the differences in earthly adoption versus the biblical adoption and Aisha, Mickey and Mercedes, all three are adopted. Tara. They are all adopted.

It's something that we all found out about all at the same time. Aisha and Mercedes have known each other for years. Anyways. So I got with Aisha. We got with Aisha and talked about doing a study on adoption and Mickey was interested in joining in.

So, what is the scripture that we're going to start out with tonight?

We're doing Ephesians 1 verses 5 and 6.

Mercedes, will you read the scripture for Ephesians 1, 5 and 6 please.

He predestined us to be adopted through Jesus Christ for himself according to his favor and will to the praise of his glorious grace and he favored us within the beloved.

Okay, instead of us jumping straight into scripture and going to a biblical sense of adoption I'm actually going to turn this Bible study over because I'm not adopted. Adopted. But considering these three are, I'm going to let Mercedes take over and kind of give her backstory.

Backstory, if that's what she wants to call it her history.

Take it away. Well, I was adopted about six weeks so unlike a lot I didn't have to go through the foster system and all of that so I definitely got lucky. But the one thing that it taught me early on very early on is that family doesn't have to be blood related.

I've always known I was adopted for as long as I can remember. My mom told me as soon as I was old enough to understand it so it's never been a secret. I've gone through the whole searching of the biological family and all of that got some answers.

My family is my family my mom, my grandma, all of them. They've never looked at me any differently. They've never treated me like I was adopted. It was just I'm there. A lot of adopted people come with a lot of scar tissue from the process up until they were adopted.

I got another friend of mine lives in Delaware and he's got quite the story on his adoption of his whole process so but I got like I said, six weeks so I was.

I don't remember a time of not having your mom. My mom let's see, so me and my sister were adopted at five and six. Been through a lot of foster homes and second to last before we officially got adopted was really, really, really, really bad.

The state finally sent somebody to come and investigate I guess the home. We're not really sure what their job was but they pulled me and my sister out of there and took us to some office building and I remember playing with the little boy that was there.

And as we were leaving the lady was like, oh yeah, that's your brother. We're like, wait, what? Okay hope to see you again. And we stayed with this lady probably for a few months before we got adopted.

And we knew when our parents walked in there, we were like mommy, daddy and never met them in our entire lives. But we just knew that they were our mom and dad which also made them very happy. So we obviously knew something was different.

Didn't know the word adoption at the time but our parents are white so it was kind of obvious what happened here. But I do remember I guess it wasn't a popular thing growing up in school because a lot of our kids there didn't really know adoption or what that entailed.

They just knew of mixed families.

So when they met you, then they met your mom they thought maybe possibly your father was black, then they met your dad and your dad was white and they said, wait a minute huh.

Because she was one of the resource teachers and slash I guess therapy, I don't remember exactly what she did. So it was so funny hearing some of the kids they're like, oh I bet your dad's like 6 '2, big black dude or whatever and I'm like, this really spotty white guy with glasses, but sure can't wait for you to meet him.

So he came to graduation and you know for years trying to explain to kids like no, my mom was like oh so your dad is black, no he's white too. So your mom is mixed, no she's white, there's no mix she's white, dad's white.

So your grandma's probably black. No, she's white too cause mom is white.

Still white and they're like, huh, but your sister and your brother's black.

We hadn't gotten my brother yet, so we were with them for a couple of years before we ended up adding to our family, but yeah dad came to graduation, I was like this is my dad, and they were like, oh I was like, yeah, not big, not black yeah, this is dad I do remember them asking us, and we actually I think it was before we adopted my brother and we I don't know who ended up telling somebody, anyways the news came to our home and actually interviewed us or my family and was just asking what it's like for a white couple to adopt two black girls, and of course mom didn't know anything what she was doing with hair, had to lotion our skin, cause we dry out like none of that, like it was all new, and some people were like, well why didn't she do her research what was she researching for she wanted kids, and she wanted to love them and give them a home, who researches that, right, she was like, I want to give somebody a family, you know, a home a loving home, and that's it not much more to it and, we'll figure out the rest of it, exactly and, you know, one thing that my mom did share with me, now was that the judge actually was constantly badgering them like, is this what you guys want to do you sure you want to adopt you know, them, and they're like, yeah and they're like, are you sure you sure you want to do this and she's like, yeah, we've already had them for a year they're ours and, you know, that really hurt her feelings the backseats so, I mean, she already loved us, and we probably had a birthday with them, and, you know, did everything Christmas, Thanksgiving, so like, we were family and, you know, just kind of, it hurt me to hear that, that somebody would question like yeah, they those are her kids, those are her babies why would you question that like, you trying to take this away like, I don't know it was just, you know, and that obviously tore up my parents a lot that, you know, they didn't see color when they got us, they saw children that needed a loving home and needed parents, and that we were going to take care of them, and you know, that just kind of, right there kind of puts the world view on, you know, the standard of a traditional family, you know, mom, dad white, with kids black parents, with black kids and, you know it's just kind of sad, but now over the years, it's so blended and it's just amazing you know, you meet somebody, and you're like oh, hey, so and so, and you meet their family, and you don't instantly like, oh, why is it hmm, that's interesting, how did that work?

You meet more people yeah, and it's crazy because so many, obviously besides my case they look alike, they look like family like I would have never known unless they said, hey, I'm adoptive, like, oh you are?

Wow, so am I! So it's definitely been a journey, but it's been a phenomenal journey, for sure so Mickey, what.

You're a little bit older than they are. I'm just gonna put that out there, because adoption probably back when you were younger probably wasn't what it I didn't say it was old.

She said it probably was basically what she was saying. You can't hear it's probably.

Right, it's probably a little different. It was probably different back then, it was probably harder to adopt years ago, more so than it was when these two girls were going through an adoption process.

Do you see what I'm saying? Because back before they were born I'll just put it that way things didn't go as easily in an adoption process not that I know of.

I know of course it was 1974 a little while back. So yeah the process that's a lot of years before us. Yeah of course the process is the most likely change back then. It was depending on the state and the way different things happened.

Were closed adoptions or sealed records or whatever the case might be. Now it's a lot more from what I understand and reading on it. It's on the how they agree to do it. I guess if it's going to be open or closed or like nowadays it's even yeah a family can adopt a child but still be in that child's life from day one.

Well working in circuit court all adoptions are under seal. They're not closed off but they have to. I'm speaking for today. They have to go before the judge as permission to go into that file to get permission from that file.

Because it does deal with children there are some states that have legalized the opening of files from not obviously of minors but of legal age adults. They're actually legalizing the opening of those files which for adoptees in search of their biological family it's huge.

It's huge because it's so hard when your file's sealed up.

And it's getting more and more common where adoptees are searching for. You know what do you want to say, biological family one way or another whether it be another brother or sister or the biological mother or father or whatever the case might be it's more and more common.

And it's like you said too it's kind of weird nowadays where you're talking with somebody and you're like you know you just get in conversation about things. All of a sudden you run into other people that were adopted too and you're like oh wow.

There's more of us everywhere. We're like Walgreens everywhere.

Yeah because you and Mercedes realized that or you and Mercedes came into contact about the adoption both of you being adopted on a mission trip last year.

Yeah it seems like I told me that he was when she found out I was. We exchanged our stories on the mission trip. Yeah.

Tell us about your story. Mine's a lot like Mercedes where I was real real, real little. I was four days old when I left the hospital with my parents basically. And you know from a young age you don't know when you're little it's mom and dad and it always was from day one.

It still is now you know from an age that they figured okay. Well maybe he can understand now of how it works or what was going on. You know that way I was in the loop they never held it from me at all ever but wanted to wait until I understood how it what took place and everything.

It was still mom and dad and I'd bring friends over and I'd be like hey you know I thought it was cool at one point too and yeah it's still cool now and I'd take friends and be like hey you know check this out.

I'm adopted. They're like what's that. So we talk about it. They don't know because that's their biological parents that they've been you know. And take some of my friends home and they're like no you are lying.

There's no way you're adopted because of looking just the the looking like.

Mom and dad they're like there's no way no way at all. Well you remember when we met.

Um you showed me pictures of your parents and I was like man you look just like your mom and you're like no I don't I can't and I was like no you really do and you said I can't I'm adopted and I'm like oh no.

As years go on of course you know Tara and I got married and we had our own kids so we decided let's uh see about trying to find biological to start out with to try and see you know what may be out there what might we need to look for for our kids.

And it really kind of turned into be kind of like a long drawn out process in a way and we were finding like we went through. She helped and we went through and registered on different websites and we're kind of like okay whatever you know no big deal.

And that was probably around matter of fact that was around 2005 2006 one of the main reasons because I was about to leave for Iraq and that's when we decided hey let's try and you know see what's what the possibilities are in finding some information.

I went to a school I think and sure enough one of my team members she was adopted so we got to talking about it there and she's like oh yeah I just met my biological dad you know a couple months ago and I'm here at Fort Jackson and we see each other all the time I visit and um they live close to the area and they were always close.

In that same area. Isn't that funny. How that works. That's how mine happens too.

I know of all the family all kind of clandered who knew. So you have all. You all know who your biological parents are. Birth father no.

That's how they started. Decided to start re-looking into registering because that's what my team member she's like just go re-register again. So I didn't think another thing. I came off of a week vacation and there was an email sitting in my work email and I was like wow this is great.

My boss at the time she got us in contact that day and thought about it so I called her. Tara left. Three hours later she comes back home. I was still talking with my biological mother. He doesn't do that.

You found your biological mother. Well yeah through that adoption .com.

Adoption .com place. What about your biological father for me. So the state of Mississippi actually goofed and sent my mom the wrong birth certificate and it had my biological parents names on it so she kept those names and gave them to me when I turned 18 and they were a little bit off, just a little bit their middle names were actually used on the birth certificate.

So there's that but that alone was a huge step in my start in searching because I bypassed a lot of people who start from absolutely nothing in their search. Last November was it November? No, last December it was right around Christmas time.

Came in contact, found out I have a half sister who's her father and they used 23andMe and so we get to talk and whatnot and I asked her well why are you on here she said well I'm trying to figure out more about my father and I was like oh well I know a little bit just from what I'd heard from my biological mother's first cousin and I tell her all this and she goes I think you're misunderstanding me he was adopted too and I was like seriously?

So like an answer but at the same time another brick wall so but you know I think what's cool about both, well about you know earthly adoption is the people the parents that adopted us they chose us you know my mom handed me all the paperwork that she had going throughout the adoption process and I was flipping through it and on the back of one of them there were other kids names and ages written down that they were considering and she chose me your mom and dad chose you yours chose you and just in the same way that they chose us God also chose us and that's the family I come into and chose us and it didn't matter what our backstory was for our earthly parents or our heavenly father it doesn't matter we were chosen and you know reading Ephesians chapter 1 especially really 4, 5, and 6 having already having an understanding of earthly adoption and then reading about biblical adoption it was so easy for me to understand because I went.

Oh I know this word. I know this word I know how this works.

Since we didn't read 4 4 is for he chose us in him before the foundation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted by Jesus Christ himself. And you know I remember hearing my mom she told me I literally loved you from the minute I laid eyes on you.

And so you know she in love chose me and God in love chose us. And the other cool thing about adoption is you know I mentioned earlier that the saint sent my mom to Rome first for her to get because the way adoption works.

Is when a child is adopted.

The birth certificate that they have upon birth is null and void and they make a whole new one with the new parents names on there and whatever name that those parents chose for that child.

Did your mom.

Change her name? She named me. I didn't have a name.

Your parents changed. No you already had a name right? Yeah. I had my first name. I had a full name. I was Aisha Von Shea White Von Shea? Von Shea.

Your parents of course at 4 days old gave you your name.

Now I'm Aisha Lynn White Lynn no Howard Howard.

Get it right. Sorry mom. Take that out of the video. You know a new birth certificate being created for us.

I think and I was thinking about this earlier at work. Our biblical new birth certificate for me is 2 Corinthians 5 .17 therefore if anyone is in Christ he is a new creation. Old things have passed away and look new things have come.

2 Corinthians 5 .17 like for me it hit me and I went. That's like our that's like our biblical birth certificate because the old us is no longer it is null and void it is cancelled out. Yeah yeah that's the best thing about it.

Is everything that happened before don't even matter. That's like all the stuff that she went through. Going from foster family to foster family is there but once you found that loving home it didn't matter anymore.

It didn't matter mom and dad regardless.

So just like all the mess that I did growing up man it took me a long time to grow up but it don't matter.

You got a couple of them right. Yes she's got more than a couple somebody. No.

Being prepared. Pastor Jeff he's on his way back. Hey pastor look at all my babies and the nice way. Impossible starburst. Where we going to. We'll get there eventually shout it out. I got Romans 8. Well we won't do 15 all the way through 39.

That's just fair thought so. So what are we doing. Romans 8. We'll just do 12 through 15 or 17. Mercedes talk about dyslexia.

Dyslexia queen 12 through 17. So 8, 12 through 17 you were it. I've got some of that already. I like it stuck out at some point. We're still getting there. So then we are not obligated to the flesh to live according to the flesh for if you live according to the flesh you are going to die but if by the spirit you put to death the deeds of the body you will live.

All those led by God's spirit are God's sons. For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear but you received a spirit of adoption by them. We cry out Abba Father.

The spirit himself testifies together with our spirit.

That we are God's children and if children also heirs may the image of God in coerce with Christ seeing that we suffer with him so we may also be glorified with him amen.

That's it that just nailed the hammer on the head. What. Some pins, some hammers hammer and nails. Thank you. Thank you. I'm sorry. Y 'all know the words don't come right. They don't come out right.

That also means Galatians 4 7. Galatians 4 7 therefore we are no longer slaves. Therefore we are no longer slaves but God's child and since we are God's child we are also married.

Which also speaks of the adoption so it'll be a little funny now. I know y 'all aren't used to it. What funny.

So Asia when you came to Whitten you just felt right at home because well no you didn't at first she said oh because I remember when you first started coming you were so quiet not anymore you were feeling out the room right.

But she just wasn't all excited more than I was. Mercedes you wanted to be a bug in the rug.

You wanted to be a bug in the rug. Well see Mickey here. Knew everybody he's known everybody for years. Well.

Off and on at certain times. Yes well it's more so on. There were some that I guess because I was quiet as well that they were like we are scared of this guy right here because he's quiet and we don't know about quiet folks like this guy and like some.

A couple of them I would come that way and they would bear a different direction. I guess maybe when you turn the light on exactly.

It's funny. And that was other places too quiet. Guys get to know people first before I really talk. I spot out all the introverts first. That's the word. I am okay. Alright I'm in good company. Let's go.

Yes you are real quick. Have you ever noticed that introverts always have that one extroverted friend. Oh I know. Lucky I get to have to.

Well then Mickey went on a mission trip. Mercedes went on the same mission trip. Mercedes got baptized on the mission trip. Mickey had a lot of his chains and things holding him back I think were removed.

Is that a good word to use. Felt more like family. Mickey got baptized after the mission trip. Got his head smacked on the baptism.

Yeah he did. I still hear that thud too when it's brought up. I have videos.

Donna rubbed his head. Donna rubbed his head. But hey you know it happens but you know.

We love you Pastor Ben. It's okay. You were just knocking out the old Mickey. We get it.

He was making sure Mickey's brain was clear of all bad thoughts in the mic too in the microphone. But now we are all. We are all. You've been baptized here and now we're all.

One family in Christ you know. What's cool too is I remember you know when I have friends find out I'm adopted you know people will go. Oh no no no it's not a bad thing guys you know. And it's the same.

I'm sorry it was just a side thought popped in my head but you know.

I've come across people that find out I'm a Christian and they go no no no it's not a bad thing it's good it's wonderful it's a feeling of cleanse and it's a feeling of in all honesty it kind of feels like refreshing it's like being able.

You come out of a real smoky room and you step outside you can go.

You can breathe. Take all my mask off at the end of the day all your mask.

Your layers. What am I going to do with these people. Well I mean Massa is a good example. Her example is perfect. You know we can shed the mask that we wore for so many years you know prior to our salvation and that's probably why it's so easy to breathe at that point.

Because you're like I don't have to do this anymore. Don't you pretend I don't have to pretend I don't have to live this way. We didn't have a choice of living the way that we were living before salvation because we didn't know anybody.

We only knew sin.

We were sin we are sin. It was a position so now it's a condition. What? You've been listening to the shun words that pastor uses shun.

Well I hear shun say it a lot too. It's stuck. You're getting shuns and props there.

Is there any other scripture that anybody wants to.

One more. I'll give all the other ones.

Really? You had like 12 I know.

But no go ahead.

Which was also all in plan A before the foundation of the world.

I was about to say something to that effect. Where. It's God's plan. He already knows he already knows the answer we may not know and I know myself. I fall back into that humanly way of really where am I going.

What am I supposed to do then. Sometimes I stop and think back. Wait a minute. There's a plan there's a plan for a reason. God already knows the answer and there's a reason for it and we'll know later on.

We just have to be patient. We just have to be patient and we have to have faith and we have to put everything at his feet give it to him and let him take over because we can try all we want to like what Mercedes was saying had her mother had not everything you've gone through you went through and then Mickey had your parents and I stepped up and adopted you and your entire life up until right now today not gone the way that it did.

You may not be sitting right there you know. And when you stop and we're super sidetracking but that's okay. When you stop and do that why. You know when you sit there and go seriously like why we're not.

No what he was saying. Okay. Okay. I was listening. Mickey. It's okay. No. Just that sitting back and you go why. The why doesn't matter. Even if we were told the answer why we still wouldn't be as satisfied with that answer.

Because we'd go why and then we'd get the answer. But why. Yes I said so. But the why is really I can't remember. I think it's in Jeremiah. I have plans to prosper you not to harm you. That's why. That's why.

Okay. I'm sorry.

Scripture. Yes. Back to Romans. Romans I have. I'm getting there. Where is it Romans. Okay. Nine. That's great. Good job Mickey.

Four through well one through three and then four by. One through five sorry. One through three and then four by. I told you dyslexia is next.

I speak the truth in Christ my conscience is testifying to me with the Holy Spirit that I have intense sorrow and continual anguish in my heart for I could almost wish to be cursed and cut off from the Messiah for the benefit of my brother's own flesh and blood that they are Israelites and to them belong the adoption, the glory, the covenants, the giving of the law, the temple service, and the promises.

The ancestors are theirs and from them by physical descent came the Messiah who is God over all. Praise forever amen. Wait. Was it one through six. Oh no. Okay five through five. I couldn't remember.

No no no. I just couldn't remember if it was oh gotcha gotcha. So where does that tie in what you got in your notes there. So from that I actually googled what adoption what. The google translation of adoption I thought was actually pretty interesting.

I am reading it off the paper I won't do or anything else. But google says in a blog he print. You want me to say something please. Yeah yeah.

She choked on you. Yeah. Okay okay I do have my glasses on so we're good. I was trying cause y 'all were laughing so I'm like let me take over. So here we go. This is per google. That's what it says to the left in love.

He predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ in accordance with his pleasure and will. Under this belief we are all equals in the eyes of God and he has called us worthy in adoption.

Every child deserves to and is worthy of being a part of a family.

Was that like the first I googled adoption and that's what.

Popped up and I was like oh just like Ephesians right yeah just like Ephesians.

That's like oh I'm actually surprised that that's what popped up.

It's not a legal term. That's what I was waiting for. I was like oh it's gonna give me this more of the world point of adoption not that. Instead it gave scriptural.

A scriptural. A scriptural biblical biblical biblical definition.

It's hot in here it is a little warm. It's not because it's probably hot in here it's probably because I'm sitting up here with them. Well all I know is that I'm very thankful for each one of you. You may have been through 10 pounds of panties in back but I thank God that you're here.

I thank him for each one of you. I think that without this family that meets in this building all of our adopted brothers and sisters in Christ I think all of us would struggle daily. So to all of you out there that are our brothers and sisters in Christ here I'll say here at Witten on this on this instance because you're the reason why most of us couldn't get up especially.

On those random Thursdays when me and you were just like.

We really don't like doing this.

But we do it because of whoever might watch. Yep yep yeah it's Aisha's favorite word. So much.

We also have a pastor that would probably call us out if we weren't on. Probably? We like to call him out when he's late. Probably? No he wouldn't he wouldn't guaranteed but again it's out of love. It's kind of good to have a big brother like that even though Sunday he did not notice us at all.

We were staffed. Yeah.

And he said his entire staff wasn't at church and all of a sudden people go in hey.

I know right? Adopted family members. Staff.

Yeah the staff was out of town and I'm looking at Mercedes like we're dust. Andrew's standing right behind him. Andrew's standing right down the stage with him but anyways Michelle just walked up. You know Michelle just went stage.

We're done with you pastor. We're not going to Pikachu anymore. We love you but Mickey. Pokemon. It's their age. As was said. She sent it to him. Wow. Well you guys listen all I can tell y 'all is that for all you that live out of town and don't live near us.

We really are goofy like this most of the time but the one thing that we do have in common is that love that we have for the Lord and the love that we have for one another. We also though.

Are like the worst big sister some of these people at this table could ever like when they throw shoes at the back of your head or throw you under.

The bus on not lunch date by the way. When somebody says hey let's go to lunch it's not hey let's go to lunch. You hear lunch and you go. We never knew that until we came to Whitman. We used to be excited for lunch.

Now we're like is this a trap. Lunch. See Mickey you're not the only one that gets in trouble at lunch it's another. Well I'll tell you. I went to lunch with Mickey and Tara and their son a couple weeks ago and it was just a nice after church lunch.