TLP 70: Parents that Have Joy | Peaceful Parenting, Part 2

When we do this, peace is the obvious outcome. How can we not be at peace when we live this way?

Welcome to Truth, Love, Parent, where we use God's Word to become intentional premeditated parents.

Here's your host, AM Brewster. Welcome back friends. I can't tell you how happy I am to be sharing this information with you today.

I can think of very few things that will help you keep your head in your parenting journey more than the study we're doing over the next few shows.

Stay with us all the way, and I promise that if you believe God's Word and work to put these truths into practice, your parenting will be revolutionized.

But more on that in a minute. It's been a little while since I asked you to write and review us on iTunes, but if you subscribed and are still listening, will you please consider reviewing our show?

It's an incredible blessing to us, and it communicates volumes to searching parents when they read what you have to say.

All you have to do is go into iTunes, search the words Truth, Love, Parent, click on Writings and Reviews, and then leave your review.

Thank you in advance to everyone who's going to do that. I look forward to reading your reviews on the show. Okay, so let's take our first steps to understanding how to be a parent who experiences real peace, even in the midst of the most difficult parenting situations.

Last time we looked at a number of misconceptions concerning peace. Peace is not a lack of conflict, it's not a feeling, it's not a divine stamp of approval.

And we ended our time learning that biblical peace is a state of mind. It's a soul rest that pervades our every parenting situation.

It protects us from fear, doubt, anger, and depression. And if you didn't hear our last episode, I encourage you to check it out.

So the next logical question is, how does a parent achieve peace? We'll spend the bulk of our time in this series in the book of Philippians.

So let's start with an overview of Philippians 4, 4 -9. Verses 4 -6 are a list followed by a promise of peace in verse 7.

Then verse 8 gives another long list followed by verse 9, which repeats the promise from verse 7.

What's the promise? Peace. Okay, so what are the lists? Well, this first observation is incredibly important.

According to Philippians 4, peace is not an unconditional promise for all Christians. It's true you can't experience this peace if you're not born again, but just because you're a child of God doesn't mean this peace is a guarantee.

These lists are the responsibilities we have if we wish to experience the conditional blessing of soul rest.

If you want peace in your parenting that's totally detached and unaffected by the turmoil in your home, you're going to have to work for it.

And if we're being honest, this is one of the biggest reasons most of us don't have peace. We seem to be too busy keeping our five -year -old from killing the goldfish or our 15 -year -old from dropping out of school that we're not as focused on our character and behavior as we should be.

I strongly encourage you to check out episodes 42, 17, and 2. 42 introduces us to the most potentially destructive influence in the lives of our children, and episode 17 tells you the most important thing

I could say to any parent. And episode 2 points us to the reality that it really is all about us, the parents.

So to that end, let's look at the first prerequisite to genuine parental peace. You can feel free to write this down if you want, but don't forget that we have free transcripts and PDF episode notes at TruthLoveParent .com,

and I've linked that in the description for you. Okay, so here's the first peace prerequisite.

We have a big responsibility to God. Philippians 4 .4 is a very familiar verse that says,

Rejoice in the Lord always. Again, I will say rejoice. Merriam -Webster defines rejoice as to feel joy or great delight.

It defines joy as a source or cause of great happiness, something or someone that gives joy to someone.

A simple rewording of this verse could be, Find your eternal source of happiness in God.

And let me repeat, find your joy in God. I love when God, in His divine wisdom, finds it necessary to remind us of something right after He told us about it in the first place.

Why does He do this? I know He does this with me. Honestly, it's because I'm stupid. I'm like a dog that returns to my own disgusting, vomit -like way of parenting through my self -worship.

This is why He tells us twice in the same verse. We fail at rejoicing in God repeatedly throughout the day.

Have you ever read something in the scriptures that brings such joy to your soul, only to walk away minutes later and have your joy disappear in the light of some unplanned conflict between your kids?

This is why we need the reminder. Not only does God tell us the same thing twice, He also uses divine generalities.

He uses a word we tell our kids not to use. He says, always. See, generalities are generally bad because there always seem to be exceptions.

But in God's economy, when He says always and never, He means it. We're to find our sole source of joy and happiness in nothing other than God, and we're to do it all the time.

John Getsch said, Joy is the flag that is flown from the castle of the heart when the king is in residence there.

If you live for yourself, joy cannot take up residence there. The life of a selfish person is constantly being attacked by the circumstances and individuals around him that don't really care about his goals.

I've likened it to somebody who is protecting a pile of leaves in a windstorm. He can run around with a rake like a crazy man trying to keep those leaves in a pile, but it's constantly going to get blown about.

No leaf is going to stay exactly where he wants it to. But true joy is like a rock firmly grounded in the middle of the yard.

It doesn't matter how hard the wind blows. You don't have to worry about it. It's there to stay. The selfish person's joy is constantly being attacked by the circumstances and individuals around him that don't really care about his goals.

But a heart dedicated to Christ knows that things don't have to go our way in order to have joy and contentment.

Verses like this and the passage that tells us to pray without ceasing frequently lead people to think that unless one lives merely monastic, you cannot be spiritual.

But John Piper rightly made the observation, For the gospel -liberated mind, all joy in created things is seamless with joy in God.

The source of soul satisfaction is knowing, believing, and ever -minding what God says.

When I look at my children, I'm reminded that they are direct works of His hands, and I rejoice that my

God is so powerful to create such a magnificent and multifaceted human being. When I receive my paycheck,

I know that God is the one who provides all good things, and I thank Him for that goodness. When I play with my family,

I reflect on the fact that God has gifted me with these blessings to be loved and discipled. And when

I find myself in the midst of a heartbreaking conflict with my child, I remember that God has promised to work out the situation to my greatest good and His greatest glory, if I respond as Christ would.

And guess what? I find peace in His sovereignty. You see, we needn't spend every waking minute reading the

Bible. We just need to do three things. Learn what God says by reading and studying His Word. Remember what

God says when we're not reading it. And apply what God says to our current situation. By the way, these are the three goals of Evermind Ministries and every part of the

Evermind family—teaching us what we don't know about God, reminding us of what we've already learned about Him, and applying

His truth to life. But back to joy. Okay, in order to have God as our sole source of joy, we need to do two things.

One, realize that nothing in this life—friends, finances, family, fun, nothing—should be our source of joy because none of them can actually deliver.

And two, remember the true source of joy—God and His Word. In order to do this, though, we of course need to be learning what

He says by reading and studying His Word. We need to believe what He says to be true, and we need to remember what

He says so that we can apply it to our lives. When we do this, peace is the obvious outcome.

How can we not be at peace when we're constantly joyful and the one person who lovingly controls all things for our greatest good?

Listen, I know, ever rejoicing in God is challenging, but it's the necessary starting point to achieve lasting peace.

We cannot hope to have the peace of God if He Himself is not our all in all. Philippians 4 .4,

which is going to lead to Philippians 4 .7, which is going to give us our first promise of peace says that we need to rejoice in the

Lord always. And again, I say rejoice. Okay, so here's what this looks like in my parenting.

First, I have a saving relationship with God. He's my Lord and Savior. That's the first step.

No one can truly rejoice in who He is without accepting His gracious gift of salvation. If you haven't yet experienced the miracle of being born again,

I warn you that it's impossible for you to truly join God and therefore it's impossible for you to have eternal lasting peace.

Second, as I rejoice in who my God is, I'm constantly drawn to His truth. Every time

I open His word, I find new reasons to confidently trust Him. Natasha Crane and I discussed children's devotionals in episode 65, but I'm really looking forward to sharing with you my own personal

Bible study plan. I love it because it drives you to encounter God every time you open the

Bible. And as I learn more about who my God is, I'm armed with fear -fighting ammunition. So as I rejoice in my relationship with God, I soak myself in His word.

And then the third thing I do is I go out and parent in light of that reality. For example, when

I remember that God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of love and a sound mind, I don't anticipate the worst out of my kids or the eight at -risk teens living in my home.

You see, love hopes all things and believes all things, and fear of man is always a sin. How many of you are living in fear of what your children may say or do next?

It's not because your child is so scary, it's because your God isn't powerful enough to handle the situation.

By the way, if you're in that category, please go back and listen to episode 40. It's called Fearless Parenting. Also, when

I consider Romans 8 .28, I cannot lie to myself by saying this difficulty with my child is a bad thing.

Instead, I'm reminded how Hebrews tells me that God chastens those whom He loves. God is providing me opportunities to parent my child in order to save them from future destruction.

Comfortable or not, I'm thankful for that. I could go on and on because nearly everything I learn in the

Bible can be applied to my parenting. For example, I frequently experience meltdowns from the teen boys in my home.

Imagine an elementary temper tantrum times puberty. It's quite a sight, and to be fair, it can be really scary.

And when I respond in a fleshly way, I experience anger, fear, worry, and depression like anyone else would.

But now, when I refuse to let this boy steal the joy that God has given me, when I remember that my happiness is not tied up in what this kid thinks of me or how he acts, when

I focus on the fact that all I need is my Lord, He is completely in control,

I can patiently, lovingly, and peacefully respond to him with the things that he needs most.

Truth from the Bible. I know these examples seem simple, but the answer you seek really is, you don't have peace because your joy is in something other than God.

Everyone who refuses to found their joy in God has rooted their happiness in themselves. Every fleshly response is, in one way or another, people just trying to capture joy by having things go their own way.

By the way, if that's your source of joy, I can promise you two things. Number one, you'll never have lasting joy, and two, your source of joy is no more mature than your two -year -olds.

It doesn't matter if all you want is obedience from your kids, harmony in the form of no conflict, good grades, hard workers, whatever, it doesn't matter.

If your joy is anything other than God, then the moment you don't get what you want, your peace and happiness will be gone.

The only way to have eternal peace is to find your joy in the eternal God. But Aaron, God doesn't make me happy.

I'm sorry to hear that. Listen, I strongly recommend you do two things. The first is this, bury yourself in God's Word.

It's obvious that you don't know him well enough, and his truth is the best place to go to meet him and to understand who he is.

And the second thing is, is get yourself into a good, solid, Bible -preaching church. If God doesn't give you joy,

I fear for your future and the future of your family. But rejoicing in God is only one of the peace prerequisites.

There are more, and I look forward to sharing another one with you next time. Did you know that Truth, Love, Parent is completely a volunteer -run, faith -based ministry?

If TLP has been a blessing to you, and if you're curious how you can support us in the worldwide ministry to families, please click the

Support TLP link in the description just to check out our Patreon page. And of course, don't forget to leave that review on iTunes.

Listen, God commands peace and provides the power necessary to achieve it in our parenting. But we have to do our part.

Truth, Love, Parent is part of the Evermind Ministries family and is dedicated to helping you become an intentional, premeditated parent.

Join us next time as we search God's Word for the truth your family needs today.