A WOW Moment with Vicki, Anna and Jordan

Whitten Baptist Church

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May 28, 2021

00:00: I was like doing all the writing and stuff. I'm gonna have to take my final in the retreat because it's not like one of those things where you can do it before after I have to go in at that time.
00:11: Yeah you would and it's like it's like one of those things where you have to log in and they have to see you.
00:21: Oh like a proctor test. I had to do one of those for this standardized test that we to apply to the radiology program and they started my test late because they're like well they said it would start at this time and then it didn't and so I'm like did
00:37: I do something wrong because they said it's like you didn't send a certain thing or you know because you have to take pictures of like your testing site.
00:44: So I had anxiety like I'm not gonna be able to take this test because I can't reschedule.
00:51: All right sorry we're late. I could not my phone would not hook up to the
00:59: Wi -Fi for some reason and it kept saying loading loading loading loading and it wasn't so I had to shut everything down start all over again and then we had somebody that was just a little late.
01:13: She was just a little late Jordan. I'm sorry.
01:20: I'm so sorry. I feel so bad. But it's okay because Anna and I had plenty of time to sit and chat for a while which we never have time to do.
01:29: I know it was nice. This is my first time sitting with Anna. I know. I'm so excited.
01:36: So y 'all will have a lot of time on the retreat though. I know. Are you not going? Oh well you said you would have a lot of time.
01:43: Y 'all will have a lot of time. Well what about us? We're not going to talk on the retreat? Well yeah about what I was saying. I know she was joking.
01:53: They're having giggles over here. It's been a week. It's been a week. It's been a week y 'all.
02:03: I've had a week. I think Anna's had a week in one day.
02:09: Just today alone and we all know that. Giggle box over here.
02:16: I've had a week. I'm nervous. No don't be nervous. Oh you're usually on the other side.
02:23: You're usually not on this side. People usually just hear your voice. They don't have to see me.
02:28: Now they have to see me and it's like do I look at the camera? No he just saw you. The camera's not even there.
02:34: He just talked to us. Yeah I think it's not even there. So we have Jordan, McKee with us.
02:42: McKee. M -C -K -E -E. With us tonight and tonight my guest is a little younger than most of my guests
02:54: I guess. How old are you? 22. You have a guest? I have to do that too.
03:02: I just turned 22. I keep wanting to say 21. I got you. Okay. I'm 22. And my wonderful co -host tonight is the wonderful, beautiful, and the most talented
03:14: Miss Anna Donovan. Anna Donovan?
03:20: Yes. Allen. It's fine it counts
03:25: I guess. Anna Donovan Allen. It's fine we're one person.
03:31: It's one blush. So it's fine. It's been a week. Right? It's Miss Anna Allen.
03:38: I'm sorry. I'm used to saying Anna and Donovan. Yeah. And so it just runs out.
03:51: I would love for that to happen because we actually have a patient at work that their last name is so it'd be like me naming my child
03:57: Allen Allen that they have a name like that. And so I'm like that would be like us naming our child Allen and then him being
04:03: Allen Allen. So yeah but no we don't have any Allens. I'm confused.
04:11: Well then you could just call him Allen. Yeah but then we have all Allens over on his side of the family.
04:19: But think about it at graduation. Allen Allen. And he'd probably be the first one.
04:25: Hey that'd be true. And then you could leave. Well that's why I'm happy that we have the name the last name that starts with an
04:34: A because I'm like I mean I was a B so I just went one up. But anyway like yeah I said whenever our kids graduate we can just sit there and then we can just leave and just like wait for them to go home.
04:42: Or you can go and eat and then come back and do the whole. Because it takes like a whole hour to do all the dates. Not mine
04:48: Arlington. They had it down packed. They had a schedule. They stuck to it. It takes 20 minutes for our graduation.
04:55: How many kids do you have in your family? 500. Oh my gosh that's impressive. I went to a graduation for Bolton and it was not that fast but I think they had like about 300 students and it still took about 30 minutes.
05:07: And then there was like a huge fight that happened. Oh that was your class.
05:12: That was on the news. Do you know how awkward it was to go to orientation for Memphis and be like yeah
05:21: I graduated from Arlington. You're the school that had. I would be like never mind. I was homeschooled.
05:26: That was not my school. Oh my gosh. Yeah it was amazing. I remember that.
05:32: It was what you could see in the video. We're walking in. This is so bad. This is fantastic.
05:40: Alright so where are we going to be at? So I have a couple places and the reason I picked these specific places is these are the verses that I decided that I was going to be saved.
05:54: So this is how my testimony started. So these are the verses that.
06:01: Which the part in Acts is not really like your average verses. It's more like a story of how it connects and it's how
06:09: I saw how it connected. Like with the gospel. It really went with what was going on in my life and I was like oh this is really cool.
06:19: There's a reason for this. And I remember hearing it and the moment I heard it I was like well this is what
06:26: I want to dedicate my life to. This is clearly not just some book. So this was kind of your deciding factors on if you wanted to follow
06:34: Christ or if you wanted to continue to live that sinful shameful way you were living.
06:40: Let's not talk about it. That was the worst. Yeah and that was just.
06:46: Well this probably was like late September early October. That was about when.
06:52: I don't have a specific date. I didn't keep up with that. I just knew that it happened and I just know it was between September and October.
07:02: I started coming to Whitten end of July. So this is 2020? Okay. Yeah. I had to think about it.
07:12: She's a baby. Yeah. Just a little bit. Yeah.
07:18: So the first verse. Don't get carried away now. Anna does the reading.
07:25: You let me know what I read. Okay. You've watched these and been here forever.
07:31: It's too much pressure and anxiety. It's so much pressure when you're on it. I am in sad. Oh that's right.
07:38: I am in sad. She's in our sad. Sad. You're a sad girl.
07:45: Saints against. Saints with anxiety and depression. That's swad.
07:51: I thought it was saints against depression. Anxiety and depression. S -A -A -N. Sad.
07:59: Sad. Sad. Saints against anxiety and depression. Well then I thought it was this whole time.
08:07: You were calling it swad. Swad. Well anyways, we're going to Acts. If you have a notebook or pen or paper.
08:16: If you have your Bible or whatever. You're more than welcome to follow along with us. But I hope you enjoy it.
08:22: Because I think this is going to be really, really, really good. Alright. What's the first verse we're going to be reading?
08:28: I'm excited. Acts 23 verse 11. Okay. We'll go ahead and read that. Okay. So kind of to give some people that aren't familiar with this.
08:50: Because I was not familiar with this when I started going over it. It was in Wednesday night
08:55: Bible study. Okay. So Paul is in prison. Yes.
09:01: God came to him and said you are to testify to Caesar in Rome.
09:08: So next is Acts 24 verse 27. So he was in prison.
09:29: I can't. I always have a tough time remembering this. I think it was two years. I think it was two years.
09:36: Which Paul has spent a lot of time in prison. It says after two years. Honestly, but not really truthfully.
09:45: It says after two years had passed. So he could have been in. Even more.
09:50: Prior to that. Which if you're watching this it doesn't make sense yet.
09:56: But once we get to this last verse. I promise you it's going to make a little more sense. So now we're going to read
10:01: Acts 26. I'm trying to fit the pieces together. Okay. Acts 26 24 through 32.
10:08: 24 through 32. Get ready.
10:15: Prop it up. As he was making his defense this way. Festus exclaimed in a loud voice.
10:22: You are out of your mind Paul. Too much study is driving you mad. But Paul replied.
10:27: I am not out of my mind. Most excellent Festus. I love this pass. On the contrary.
10:34: I am speaking words of truth and good judgment. For the king knows about these matters. It was to him that I am actually speaking boldly.
10:42: For I am convinced that none of these things escapes his notice. Since this was not done in a corner. King Agrippa.
10:49: Do you believe the prophets? I know you believe. Then Agrippa said to Paul. Are you going to persuade me to become a
10:55: Christian so easily? I wish before God. Replied Paul. That you. I'm sorry.
11:01: That whether easily or difficultly. Not only you. But only to listen to me today. Might become as I am.
11:07: Except for these change. So the king. The governor. Bernice. And those setting up.
11:13: Sorry. Those sitting up. And those sitting with them. Got up.
11:19: And when they had left. They talked with each other and said. This man is doing nothing. That deserves death or change.
11:26: Then Agrippa said to Festus. The man could have been released if he had not appealed to Caesar. So that verse.
11:34: Verse 32. Is what started all of this for me.
11:40: Where it says. This man could have been released if he had not appealed to Caesar. So two years prior.
11:47: He could have been released. From prison. But because God had told him to. He stayed in prison.
11:54: Just because God told him to. Yeah because in. What was it 23. 11.
12:01: Have courage for as you have testified about me in Jerusalem. So you also must testify in Rome.
12:07: So he didn't have to testify in Rome. He didn't want to but he did. And because of that.
12:14: He appealed Caesar. And he could not. He could have been freed from prison if he didn't do that. But he decided to because that's what
12:20: God commanded him to do. Goosebumps. That's awesome. And so.
12:26: The reason like all of this was so. This is going to get back into my personal life. But just so people know.
12:32: Why it was so impactful for me. At the time. I had found out that Southwest.
12:38: Lost my transcript. And I had just applied. To Arkansas State. To go into the radiology program.
12:45: But because they couldn't find my transcript. I could not go. They only let you go one time.
12:52: Once a year. In January. So I would have started in January. If they had found my transcript.
12:59: At 2020. The day I found out was the day. We were going over 26.
13:05: And that was the day that all of these came together. And I remember sitting there thinking. If Paul can sit in prison.
13:11: For two years. Then I can deal with what. Has been handed to me.
13:18: Like there's a reason for this. And as I've gone through this semester. And not started it. I have realized that there really was a reason.
13:26: Because if I had started. This two year program. That early into my.
13:32: Your salvation. Yeah my salvation. Who knows if I would have come back.
13:38: Who knows if I would have been here. Every Sunday. So. And then
13:43: I shared this with my parents. So this is what even. Just like. Made it so much better.
13:50: My aunt was going through some tough times. And I had shared this with my parents that night. I had texted them this long paragraph.
13:57: And was like this is fine. We're going to make it. Because they were kind of freaked out too. We've all invested so much time.
14:05: And so much money into all of this. And my mom screenshoted it. And sent it to my aunt. And she started watching.
14:14: Sermons from Witten. When I shared that. That's awesome. I cried when
14:20: I found out. Because I was like. Not only did that change me. It's helping to change her.
14:26: And I never thought. In a million years. And plus for me to change.
14:34: I'm sure anybody can. But. Yeah. That was the day that I told myself.
14:40: I was like no more. I don't want anything to do. With anything I did in my past.
14:46: At all. So. You're going to Rome. Yeah I'm going to Rome.
14:53: To see Caesar. Yay. So excited to see Caesar. But because.
15:01: And now I'm also seeing. Yes I could have been done. And graduated quicker. And easier and everything.
15:07: But I'm seeing so many more things unfold. That because I could be. Even though I'm not able to be here as much as I want to.
15:14: Because I've given up my Wednesdays. To go to class on Wednesdays. But I have been able to do way more.
15:21: Than if I had started the program. Like I've gotten. I went to the college trip to Branson.
15:28: I would have not been able to do that. If I was in that program. Because our spring breaks didn't line up. But because I only had classes.
15:35: Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. And they were going on the weekend. I could have gone. And only because of that is the reason.
15:42: That was able to be done. And that was a great trip. I got to know everybody a little bit better. I've been able to continue to come on Sundays.
15:50: And stay longer on Sundays. Versus probably having to leave. Earlier on Sundays.
15:56: Because I'd have to be back. Because there's just five days a week. So like there's just been a lot of things. That has been able to happen.
16:03: Because of that. And it's all because of the verse. That's awesome. So you don't think it's just a coincidence?
16:11: No. I mean of course people are going to say it's just a coincidence. But I don't think it's a coincidence at all.
16:18: That all of this happened. In the same day. That we are going over Acts 26.
16:24: Like that could have happened. I could have heard that news. Any other time. But the day of.
16:32: Well that's the thing. When you're going through things like that. You're just like. Why is this happening?
16:38: I'm so mad. I just want this to happen. Because I want to get this done. And like you know all of that. It's just frustrating.
16:44: Because I'm a planner. I don't know if you watched that last episode. I have problems.
16:51: And so I could see. Having that. Knowing how
16:56: I am. And seeing how you are. That would have been so difficult for me. Because Southwest has a tendency.
17:03: To do things like that. And so that would have. I would have been livid. Because I'm like now this is pushing.
17:10: My whole life back another year. After I've already gone to school. Because I'm 26.
17:16: So you have some less years. But I'm like I'm just starting. Like my program.
17:22: Or like applying to the program at 26. So I want to be done. At like this age. So I can do like all the next things
17:29: I'm supposed to do. And so that for me. Would have been like life shattering. And so but to find.
17:38: Comfort. In God's word. Of what he tells you. Like if you are obedient to me.
17:44: You will be okay. And that was the first time I had ever experienced. Peace as well.
17:50: Wasn't that crazy. Which was like. I remember sitting there.
17:55: Because you know I have anxiety. So like that would have given me so much anxiety. And I experience chaos.
18:02: All the time over just the simplest things. Because of my anxiety. And that alone.
18:08: Would have sent me over the edge. But I literally. My parents were freaking out more than I was.
18:14: They're like and I was like. It's okay. And like I wasn't just saying that to convince myself.
18:19: I was very at peace. I was very calm and I was like. I almost freaked myself out. I was like.
18:27: That's how you know it's not you. I was like. This is not normal Jordan.
18:33: This is not normal to be this calm. Over something like this. But I was truly.
18:39: Like at peace. And it was the most. Comforting feeling.
18:45: And I remember I was like. I don't want to lose this. I was like I don't want to. Whatever I got to do to keep this.
18:52: We're going to keep it. I was like this is great. Like this is this.
18:58: I finally feel even though. So many so many things. Not even just that we're falling apart in my life.
19:04: Like my whole life was falling apart. And. I remember just being. It was almost like I was just sitting there.
19:11: And everything was just falling apart. And I'm just. Everything's okay.
19:16: I'm okay. Everything is going to be okay. And that was when
19:22: I figured out what. God's will was. And. Since then
19:27: I. Refuse. To miss a Sunday. Refuse to miss any kind of anything that I can do.
19:35: To be with my family. Because. It was.
19:40: It was a pretty pretty life changing thing. I mean that was in October. And my life has completely turned around.
19:47: In. So many ways. Like I'm a completely different person. In such a short amount of time.
19:55: And. Almost in that way I'm like. Oh I can understand Peter. Three months or whatever.
20:01: And so I just. Sometimes even now. I'm looking at myself and I go.
20:07: Who am I? I don't recognize this person at all. But at the same time.
20:14: I'm like thank goodness. Thank goodness. Because. Well what's that scripture? What was it?
20:22: Behold the old is passed away. Or behold the new has come. First. Second Corinthians.
20:30: It's somewhere in one of the Corinthians. I have it. The old has passed away. But the new has come.
20:36: And it's like that's exactly what. The Holy Spirit is in the business of doing. Is like taking you down.
20:43: Stripping you down to your bare bones. And then building you back up. Because like you said without.
20:49: The Holy Spirit's comfort. Through scripture. You would have been.
20:55: Freaking out. Like I know I can see myself freaking out. So I know like you would too. And going back to like what you were saying.
21:02: As being a planner. I was a notorious planner. Like. From high school
21:09: I had my whole. Life planned. Whole life planned. I remember
21:16: I was like. So like. I went into college. I went into college.
21:24: And I was going to be a biomed engineer. I was going to graduate. I was going to graduate in four years.
21:31: I was going to go to med school. I was going to become a surgeon. And then they told me you got to have four years of math.
21:36: I said nope. I said absolutely not. Not even just math. You got to have four years of calculus.
21:43: So I like did the first semester. And I was like no this is just not for me. Like we're just going to let this go.
21:49: And so then I like switched. And like so many things were falling apart. And um. My car was stolen.
21:56: That was a whole. Situation. My car was stolen.
22:01: I was actually ran over by my own car. Yeah. You'll have to tell me later. A whole long story.
22:09: And then like literally. Two days after. Or like the next day.
22:16: I had gotten a call. And. They had told me I had pre -cancer cells.
22:22: And so like. Even though it wasn't cancer. That was enough to scare me. Well cancer yeah. So I freaked out.
22:30: And that was. That was when I really like rebelled. And I remember like everything just.
22:36: Falling apart. And then once this happened. Well then some more things fell apart.
22:41: And then that's what brought me here. Was actually to the Mercedes. I ended up working with her.
22:48: And. Ever since then. I have just. Decided that.
22:55: I don't want anything to do with worldly. Values at all.
23:00: Well and what's crazy to me. I mean just even. Like what's going on in the world right now.
23:06: I'm just like. I'm so tired of this place. I need Jesus to come back. But it's like people are all like.
23:12: Global warming. People are just freaking out. Oh the world is going to end. This is not how the world is going to end. The world is ending everyday.
23:21: Regardless if you want to or not. People are just. Oh my gosh this is not happening. The sky is falling.
23:28: But I was actually talking about this at work. Because they were talking. Oh you know like how the world is going to end. I said
23:33: I know how the world is going to end. And they're like how? And I said well it's in scripture. It's in revelation. Look it up.
23:38: And they're like oh well I'm not religious. I'm like it doesn't matter if you're religious or not. It's going to happen. It's going to happen.
23:46: But okay. I always tell them well I'm not religious either. Yeah. But it's like it doesn't matter.
23:53: Well if you're not religious. Let's just show you. It's going to happen anyway. But that's the thing.
24:01: Having all of this worldly chaos. Going back to what you were saying. And then having.
24:07: The Holy Spirit in you. Just gives you a peace. You're just like oh this happened.
24:13: Okay. It's everything that God has predicted up until this point. Why am I surprised?
24:19: Like that something other than that is going to happen. So it's just like I'm not surprised. You're not surprised now.
24:24: That's what I always think of. Luke 22 42. Not my will but your will be done.
24:31: Because it does not. You know everybody freaks out about who's president. Who this virus.
24:37: Everything's going on. But what people fail to understand. Is everything that's happening.
24:44: Was supposed to happen. Everything that's happening. He. God allowed that to happen.
24:49: God made that happen. So whatever's happening. It's supposed to. Let it happen.
24:55: So there's no need to freak out. There is no need to you know. Go out and hoard toilet paper.
25:03: I need toilet paper. Like just sit back. Take you know.
25:08: Take three steps back. Take cold breaths. But the people who don't have the Holy Spirit.
25:14: Don't understand that piece. They don't. And to me that's really sad.
25:19: Because like when I have a family member who dies. If I know that they're saved.
25:24: I'm like okay. I can rest easy because I know. But even with those people.
25:30: That I don't know who were saved. I mean I don't have peace about that. Because it's like I know where they are.
25:36: And where they're going to spend eternity. However. That was God's will you know. Predestination all that stuff.
25:43: However they had a free will. They had chances. Nobody is without excuse.
25:48: And it says that in scripture. And we teach. Well I teach GAs. Like three out of the four weeks of the month.
25:56: And I'm trying to pound into these girls heads. And it's like none of you will have an excuse. Like whenever you die.
26:02: Because like God's nature. That should be enough for you. Well like the hills will say no.
26:07: Think about all the chances you get. When you are on earth.
26:13: Like that's what I think of all the time. Like when people hear all the time. You know how can this.
26:19: How can a God that love you. Be so harsh. Be so evil.
26:24: And you know. Do all these horrible things. And it's like okay. He created you.
26:31: And he loved you before the foundation of the world. He made like all his things.
26:36: And you still treat him. Like you hate him. And he still lets you live. But it says.
26:43: That the wages of sin is death. But you're still alive. So you have all these chances.
26:50: He allows you to wake up every morning. With breath in your lungs. Every breath you take. Is a gift from God.
26:56: And so. And not only that. I was an atheist.
27:02: And I rejected God. And I didn't want anything to do with that. I was angry with him.
27:08: For everything he put me through. But how are you mad at him. If you're an atheist.
27:14: I don't even think I was an atheist. Well that's my argument. Because I only did that. Just so I didn't have to talk about it.
27:22: No one's going to talk to me. If I'm an atheist. But I would never. I remember my grandparents.
27:30: Would tell me all the time. You need to go to church. And I remember I kept. I knew that was what
27:35: I was supposed to be doing. I knew that's what I needed to do. But I didn't want to. So I rebelled. I never told them
27:42: I was an atheist. But when I was out with my friends. And that would come up. I'd be like no I don't believe.
27:47: I'm an atheist. Isn't that funny. And now look at me.
27:53: Now I'm the person that I used to hate. That's what's so funny to me. I'm the person that I used to hate.
27:59: And I'm like that's hilarious. Uh huh I see what you did there. That's yeah. No God does have a sense of humor.
28:09: He sure does. Yeah. Well to me that's what makes. Well that's what makes your transformation.
28:16: To me so. Powerful. Because especially with this day and age.
28:21: A lot of people are denying. Christ and rebelling. Yeah and it's like you know.
28:28: My God just like the things. That I see on social media. I don't even have social media. But like the things that I hear about.
28:33: Like one time one of the kids. At church they had their cell phone. On them which they weren't supposed to.
28:39: And I heard them listening to something. On their phone and I heard. Whatever. And I'm like.
28:47: This kids like under 10. I said turn it off and give it to me. I'm like. Do your parents even know what you're doing.
28:55: It's just amazing. The stuff that goes on like in this world. But going back to what
29:01: I was saying. To see that transformation. Like I said earlier.
29:07: That's what the Holy Spirit is in business to do. Like you were. You know
29:12: I'm not saying like you personally. But just like before we were saved. I was like. We were all stupid and sinful.
29:20: I mean gosh like there are things. That I think about. I've been a Christian ever since. I got saved when I was like 11 or 12.
29:25: And so I've been a Christian for a long time. However I still did really stupid things. During that time because of like teenage hormones. And you know just being a teenager.
29:33: But it's like I did a bunch of stupid things. And I still think back to that. And I'm like. It's like cringeworthy moments.
29:40: Just things that just like. Just rip me to my core. However I'm like.
29:47: Talking to myself. You don't got to worry about that. Because you've already been forgiven about that. You're for that.
29:54: It's gone. Just keep moving forward. I look back at all those stupid things. And like I try to remember my thought process.
30:02: And literally the only thing I can come up with. Is I really just didn't care. You were just being reckless. Like I was just like.
30:07: I'll do it if I want to. And when people like told me no. That was when I was going to do it the most.
30:14: Girl you're a little rebel. I was horrible. Okay watch this. No that was literally me.
30:22: So you said no. Okay. Or if you say I can't do it.
30:28: That was even worse. If you say no like. I'm just going to do it. But if you say no you can't do that.
30:34: But I can watch. So like when I look at how.
30:40: Just. Because when I was. Before I would say. I told Mercedes this all the time. It was so much easier when
30:46: I wasn't saying. Because I didn't have to care. I've had a lot of people say that. Yeah because now people can tell me.
30:52: Like people here at church. Will tell me things. And it almost rips me apart.
30:58: More than my own issues. And I remember before. People would tell me things.
31:03: And I was like oh that sucks. Like I really just didn't care. I didn't even care about what was hurting me.
31:10: Like I didn't. So how could you have empathy for others. I had no empathy for myself. Other people.
31:16: I just did what I wanted to do. And I just. I don't even know how.
31:22: Like it was. It's kind of funny how they say you're alive when you're safe. Because how I look back at myself.
31:28: I was really dead. Like there was no. Like soul in that person.
31:35: You were just existing. I was just existing from day to day to day. And that's how the world is though. If you look at people that live in the world.
31:41: They're just kind of floating around. And I saw this the other day too. Some people say you know.
31:48: Why do these bad things always happen to all these good people. No one is good. That's my argument.
31:54: But this is. This was the comeback. This was the comeback. Why does.
32:01: Why does evil have to put. The people that are living for the world. Put them through. Because they're already going to a specific.
32:09: They're already that way. And he's not trying to. Break them away from.
32:15: Is this from. I had a Facebook person. That's what I'm saying. I saw it somewhere.
32:23: Yeah that's what I'm saying. So you know. Sure. I mean it's easy to live.
32:31: For the world. And not have a care. Because. You're going to be caring.
32:39: When you burn it. I saw a meme. And it said. There is one day.
32:46: Where every non -believer. Will be a believer. When they are on the throne.
32:53: Or at the throne of God. They will be a believer. And what kills me. Is the people that joke about it.
32:59: Like how I'm going to hell. When they joke about you know. Going to hell. And they think it's just a joke.
33:06: It's funny. And they're going to do this that. Okay. Clearly you all didn't hear the same thing
33:13: I heard. Because I don't want nothing to do with that. You know. You can have the gnashing of teeth.
33:19: I don't want it. That's a little scary to me. It makes me sad.
33:26: Because these people. They clearly know. Like they know what's going on.
33:31: They know where they're going. And they still just. It doesn't matter. Well with one member of my family.
33:40: He. Ended up. Like he went to church with us. And did all this stuff with us.
33:46: So he knows what scripture says. He does not believe that God created. In six days and rested on the seventh.
33:54: He believes that it was like. Years and years and years. Like all this stuff. So he doesn't believe in like the six day creation.
34:00: He doesn't understand the concept. Of like a personal relationship with Christ. It's just like a religion type thing.
34:07: Like you go to church on Sunday. Wear suits like all that stuff. And then. And he doesn't believe in.
34:14: Like heaven or hell. And so my mom ended up speaking to this guy. And was like.
34:20: So what are you going to do? Like you know like. So what if you know. If there was you know like in his mind.
34:26: If there was really a heaven or hell. What would you do if you were going to hell? And he's like well I guess I'd just burn.
34:32: My mom was like well wouldn't you just. Wouldn't you want like that security. Like if you knew it was real.
34:39: Why wouldn't you want to go ahead. And like go to heaven instead of go to hell. So it's like he just can't comprehend it.
34:44: And it makes me really sad. Because I'm really close to this person. And at this moment. I know if he would die.
34:50: He would go to hell. And that like rips my insides out. You know. But it's like you said.
34:56: Before you're a Christian. You're very selfish. You only care about like what you want. And everything. You don't really have empathy for others.
35:04: But when you are a Christian. Like when someone in our family hurts. Like and I say our church family.
35:10: I hurt. Like every time. We pray over Robert. And Candace.
35:17: I'm a puddle of tears. Because I just. I put myself in their situation.
35:23: Like for me. Like being a wife. Putting myself in Candace's shoes. And thinking about what she must be going through.
35:32: And the strength. And not only two children. But one with special needs. Who requires a lot of different types of care.
35:39: And I was. I'm like I don't know if I could do that. And I said. I told Diamond. I said Candace is the strongest woman
35:46: I know. But that's the thing. Like when I see Candace hurting. Especially.
35:54: Like I think she started crying on women's retreat last year. I'm like I'm done. I've been crying the whole time.
35:59: And I was like. I'm going to cry with Candace. But that's the thing. Like when your family hurts. And you see what they're going through.
36:05: And you can empathize with them. It's like it's nothing that you'll ever get. Without being a
36:11: Christian. Well don't y 'all find it. How. Y 'all are talking about family.
36:18: And I know we're getting off of your. We'll get back to that. I've been scratching so much. Anyways.
36:25: But don't y 'all find it. People talk about you know. They go to church on Sundays. And this that and the other.
36:31: And their churches get together and do this carnival. You know what I mean. But that's all you hear about them.
36:38: That's all you hear about them speaking about their church. Or what they do for the community.
36:44: I don't consider this my church. Well we are the church. This is my family.
36:51: Yeah I don't even consider it my family. Whenever. Actually one of my co -workers came.
36:56: To church. Yeah. I was like dang.
37:02: She came with. She brought her sister and two of their friends. And. Monday.
37:11: When we got to work. She said. They call her Miss Vicky. She said Miss Vicky I have to tell you.
37:18: As much as you've talked about all those people. When I met them. They are who they are.
37:24: They are. That's who they are. I said.
37:30: We don't have very many. We have a few fake people. Because every church does.
37:37: But those people that you met on Sunday. That is my family. And I love them.
37:43: Dearly and deeply. And she says. The thing is that you can see it all over the church.
37:49: She said. And she's African American. And she said. When we left.
37:56: When we got in the car. She said we were talking about how friendly of a church it was. She said.
38:01: And. We've been. Lots of churches. Because she sings.
38:09: She said. And we've never been greeted. And treated the way that we were treated.
38:15: Isn't that sad though. Okay well I don't know if you know the whole story. But like I'll you know make it short.
38:21: I did not want to start coming here. Because I was. This was when Donovan and I were still dating.
38:27: So I just graduated high school. I was 2013. And I didn't want to be like the girl who like followed her boyfriend.
38:32: Around the churches and stuff. So I was very reluctant to come. And then like the rest is history. But I was like I don't want to come here.
38:39: However many years later. Like seven years later. But even going back off to like the family thing.
38:46: When we were in lockdown. This time last year. So like we weren't coming to church or anything like that.
38:52: I had like the blues. Because I told Donovan. Well I told Donovan. I said all of my friends are at church.
39:00: Like I have like a good. Like childhood friends. But like we don't talk often.
39:06: You know because we just have our own lives. And everything just happens. But I said I don't have any friends that aren't in church.
39:13: And so I was like I'm missing. You know I'm missing my family. And I remember getting up to Sunday school.
39:18: Like our first Sunday back. And then Rachel Shipley ended up coming up. And we just like ran to each other.
39:23: And just embraced each other. Because I was like I just miss my family. I just. I've been to several churches growing up.
39:32: And even the last church that I went to. I liked you know to an extent. But like our church is different.
39:39: And I know like we all say that and stuff. But it's true. If you're thinking about coming here. You need to do it. And even like I've invited my mom to come a few times.
39:47: My brother. Your mom has come. She's come a few times. Mainly because my brother comes.
39:52: She won't come just to see me. She's on a retreat. Yeah she's coming on retreat.
39:58: So I invited her to do that. But she goes to like another church. But she'll come with us sometimes. But my brother and his fiance soon to be wife on the first.
40:07: He said that he's like you know. I think Amanda and I are going to start coming here. And I said well we would love to have you.
40:13: Yes. Because he's like you know the other church that they were going to. It was like you know those contemporary things. And he's like a lot.
40:19: They got a new pastor. And he's like everything just changed. And it's like not the same as it used to be. And they're doing premarital counseling with brother
40:26: Jeff. And so they've gotten to know him very well. And then some other people in the church they've talked to. Like pastor Byers.
40:32: And so it's just like. I don't know. And so I'm happy that my family is starting to come.
40:39: Because then it's like. Both of my families. Like my family. And so it's just. I've heard like everybody that comes here.
40:47: There's no place like Wooden. So how I ended up coming was.
40:53: Well Cindy had like told me about it for years. That's my aunt. Oh my gosh.
41:01: That's funny. She lives next door to them. So I remember like. One time.
41:08: Which I had known. Who Josiah and Jeremiah was. Because they worked at the shop. So I like knew who they were.
41:16: But I didn't know who they were. So I didn't like put it together. And then I got here and was like oh my gosh.
41:21: Here you are. But I remember that she kept telling me about it.
41:27: And kept telling me about it. And I was like nah. It's going to be like every other church. I don't want to. But then
41:32: I started working with Mercedes. And Mercedes kept telling me. You need to come to church.
41:38: So I was like okay. Well for like I think it was a couple weeks. I literally would get up.
41:45: This is going to sound so stupid. But I'm being dead serious. I would get up. Get fully dressed and ready.
41:51: And I'd go I can't do it. My anxiety was set. And this is why. This is the stupidest reason why.
41:59: I was like. I don't know how their parking is. Any excuse.
42:06: No matter how small. I was like. Where do I pull in? Where do I have to park?
42:12: It just started spiraling. I totally get that.
42:19: Wow. It's bad. So then my mom finally asked me. She was like you want me to go?
42:24: And I was like you can drive. And you can worry about parking. I made her drive. So then we get there.
42:32: And I was like I'm only going to know three people. And I started seeing all these people.
42:38: That I worked with. I mean I worked with everybody at Evergreen. I was about to say. Everybody at Evergreen.
42:44: So then I come in. And people were being so nice. I was almost like overwhelmed.
42:49: Like overstimulated. I was like I did not come here to talk to people. I didn't think people were actually going to come up to me.
42:56: I was going to sit in the back. So then like. I remember on the way back.
43:01: My mom asked me. She was like how'd you like I said. Yeah I think I'm going to go back. I was like I think
43:06: I'm going to go back. And I just went ever since. And then I went Wednesday. And I sat with Shane and Char.
43:12: And the Dillons and Mercedes. And ever since then. I was like this is just.
43:18: I feel at home. Like I feel like this is where I was supposed to be. All this time.
43:24: Why did it take me so long? Stubborn. There's a lot of people though.
43:30: That can't handle. The truth. Pastor Jeff.
43:36: That too. That too. He's not PC. I'll tell you. With the group that came.
43:44: With the young lady that I worked with. And the group that came with her. We sat in the parking lot.
43:49: And the guy that came with her. His name is Jordan. He said.
43:57: That man speaks truth. He speaks truth.
44:03: And. You can go anywhere. And you can get fed.
44:10: A bunch of muck. Sugar coated muck. Yeah. And she said.
44:16: But he stands up there and he speaks truth. And he delivers it in a way that. People understand it and get it.
44:23: And that's. That's what was so. Different for me.
44:28: Because I have grown up Baptist. And you know you did certain things. And you said certain things. I'll pray for you.
44:36: And then. When I came here. I was like wow. Wow. And then they go back on what you said.
44:46: About people being fake. And they said everybody was who. So I was like that.
44:52: You know in front of my family. I was a certain way. And then in front of my friends. I was a way. And so.
44:59: I remember like coming here. And actually being who I am. Is the most freeing.
45:06: Thing. I have ever done in my life. Because what you see is what you get. There is no when
45:12: I leave here. Have no fear. If you step across the line. Or if you start bearing in the wrong direction.
45:18: There's a lot of people here. That's going to straighten you back out. Are you doing whatever?
45:24: Right. No. Are you really doing whatever? Yeah. That's the worst thing.
45:34: That was kind of why I was like. Alright I'll straighten up. Because you have accountability.
45:41: And not even just that. There's so many intimidating people here. That like I remember. I would sit there and go.
45:49: Oh maybe I won't. And then I'd go. Never mind. I don't want to hear it from somebody.
45:56: I don't want to hear it from that person. What's funny is with my accountability group. I feel like I would be like one of the sweetest.
46:03: Most quiet. But like Ashley is in our group. And that's like public or whatever. But like I speak truth.
46:11: I will speak truth. I will be blunt with you. If you ask me something. I'm going to be blunt with you. I'm not going to sugar coat it. If you do something stupid.
46:17: Why did you do that? Why are you making excuses? And that's hard. I don't like being on the receiving end of it.
46:25: I like dishing it out. But it sucks to be on the receiving end. But without the accountability.
46:32: If you wouldn't have had the accountability. At the church. Imagine what you would have been doing.
46:38: After you got saved. Because that's what people do. Oh get saved. Okay we'll see you later. Let us know if you need anything.
46:45: There's no follow up. And you're left out all over again. And you don't know what to do. I was scared to disappoint.
46:53: Because I truly care about these people. And I truly love them. I would never want to disappoint somebody.
47:00: I would never want to disappoint the person. These people that I love. So I did what
47:05: I was supposed to. I'm doing what I was supposed to. I'm doing what I was supposed to do. Because to know that.
47:11: If I did this. It would disappoint them. That would be. So heartbreaking to me.
47:18: But the main thing is. You can still do whatever you want to do. Especially when you're in Arkansas. And you're in that apartment by yourself.
47:24: The one that is going to be. The one that you do not want to.
47:32: Deceive. Is the Lord. You see what I'm saying? Absolutely.
47:37: I don't want to say disappoint. Because he already knows what you're going to do. You want to make sure that.
47:47: You continue. On the path that you're on. Because you know what's going to happen. You think your testimony now is good.
47:54: Well just wait sweetie. Just wait. I mean. Going back to even what you said.
48:01: It's like you know. I feel like my life wasn't as bad. You know before I got saved. But after I got saved.
48:07: That's when I felt like a lot of. I can't tell you how many people's stories. I've heard like that. Like oh yeah my life was fine.
48:12: And then I got saved. And then I started having all these problems. It's like but do you know why that's happening? Exactly.
48:18: It's because God is allowing those things to happen. So you grow closer to him. You dive into his word. You pray.
48:24: Fellowship. Those are times when God uses. The people and situations in your life.
48:31: Like that. I mean obviously you can do it before you're saved. But a lot of the time people talk about how. More difficult their lives become after they're saved.
48:38: Right. Because you know I mean. I've been through all kinds of. Stuff. Yeah.
48:45: Thank you Anna. Because I was really. Yeah. But.
48:53: You know. There was no telling what was about to come out of my mouth. And Anna said stuff. Thank you. But I was.
49:01: In that same. And look at me now. Well that's the thing too.
49:09: God uses those. I have so many stories. And I have so much.
49:14: But would you have been the woman that you are today. No and that's the thing. And if I didn't have all scars.
49:21: And if I didn't show them. And if I didn't tell my story. Behind each one. Then. I would have absolutely nothing.
49:31: Plus I learned the hard way. Well but that's the thing Jordan. That's the thing.
49:37: I had to learn the hard way. And you can tell other girls. Like younger. Don't. Don't.
49:46: But that's the thing. You can be that example for them. And the truth. So they don't have to go what you went through.
49:54: I mean we have to learn things the hard way. We have to get burned. And you know we have to fall on our faces. And there are some times when you have to allow.
50:02: Like there were some decisions that were made. With one of our friends. And we had expressed our concerns.
50:07: And he did not agree with it. Which is you know. His prerogative. Sometimes it's because they're like embarrassed.
50:15: Maybe it wasn't this decision. After a week off I'll tell you. But it's a whole thing of where.
50:21: Okay well they just have to go through this. Yeah. I'm just going to pray for them.
50:26: Because they're not going to listen to me. You just have to step back. You don't have any control over it.
50:32: That's the frustrating part. When you're trying to help people. Wait I know what's going to happen. Please listen to me.
50:39: Really? You think? You know what?
50:46: I think we've gone over. Well we started a little late too. No we've gone over a bit.
50:51: Oh wow we went a whole hour. No we started late. 49 minutes.
50:58: 49 minutes. But you know. I do my best. And you're still learning.
51:05: You're still a baby Christian girl. That's the scary part. But you're growing. You're growing more.
51:13: Some people I know that have been Christians. You're taking your vitamins regularly. I love to say it.
51:19: You're getting stronger. You're getting stronger. The only thing is. Then this thought comes in my head.
51:28: That means you know. More road blocks. Bigger road blocks.
51:34: Now I'm not even that worried about it. Because like I said earlier. When I found the peace of God.
51:40: And having those issues. I'm like it's ok. They're supposed to happen. Take one of them at a time.
51:45: Deal with it how you're supposed to deal with it. Your life is not going to end. This is the thing too.
51:52: This is what so many people fail to realize. It kills me every Sunday. Because.
51:58: We have an invitation time at the end of service. And we have so many people. Not mainly women.
52:04: That I know about. Because I know a lot about all the women. That I just wish.
52:16: That they would just go to the altar. And just kneel. And you don't.
52:22: You don't have to tell anybody. What you're praying for. You don't have to tell anybody.
52:27: What you're giving God at that moment. But. Your other sisters in Christ will pray over you.
52:34: At that time. Which will then give you the peace that you need. To carry on to the next week.
52:39: And if you have to hit the altar again the next week. Then you have to do it again. And you have to do it again.
52:45: I did it three times in a week. That's ok. You have to allow. Your fellow sisters in Christ.
52:53: To help you. You have to humble yourself. And allow others like you said to help you.
53:00: They don't have to know anything. Because I can't tell you how many women I've prayed over.
53:05: And I don't know billions about what it is. But guess what. I don't have to know. The one that knows, knows.
53:12: And he knows that if he needs to use me. I have laid myself out at his feet.
53:18: To use me in their life. If that's what he needs. If not, then please provide this person.
53:24: Whoever they need or whatever they need. For whatever this need is. Or whatever they're struggling with.
53:30: You know. And that's my prayer. 95 % of the time when
53:36: I pray over somebody. That I don't know what they want. Or I don't know what's going on. And so you know.
53:41: You don't go up there to tell everybody. On your business. You go up there to take care of business with the
53:47: Lord. And that's where it needs to get laid down at. And once you lay it there. Oh it's so much better.
53:53: Mine was when Pastor Jeff preached on submission. Oh those were horrible.
54:00: Those were horrible. I was in a personal wreck. After every single week.
54:05: And it was three weeks. I remember going in there. He was like alright this is part two. And I'd be like oh my gosh.
54:11: Part three. I'd be like alright Lord just come now. Just come get me. And all three weeks
54:18: I went up there. Every single time. And afterwards I felt just so much better. Even though I knew
54:23: I was going to be there next week if he did it again. I was very cautious. When I came in the fourth week.
54:29: I was like okay. But there wasn't a part four. I was like thank goodness.
54:34: But even now I go back and will listen to those. Because that is my biggest struggle.
54:39: With submitting. You're not the only one that has a problem with that. Oh I know.
54:45: I mean that's my world. I still have issues with that. Especially work authority. I don't want to listen to what you say.
54:53: Girl preach. Anyways I want to thank y 'all for coming tonight. We've had a blast.
54:59: I know I have. Jordan thanks even though you were late. Jordan you did great.
55:05: You did great. Reassurance. Okay at least planner. I'm her hype girl.
55:12: We're both planners. We've got to stick together. Oh my gosh we've got another pair. Anyways I want to thank y 'all.
55:19: Thank you so much for coming. Thank you for sitting in for Mercedes tonight. You're welcome.
55:26: I like to call when Mercedes is out. There may even be some Thursdays. That I may even take a night off.
55:32: That may mean Mercedes will do it. Well Anna might get called in again. She's excellent at this.
55:39: Yeah she's excellent at this. Well thank you. Because you actually you're honest with everything.
55:46: And you give part of yourself. And that's what this is all about. Well like I was telling
55:52: Jordan I like sharing my experiences because there could be somebody else going through the same thing and they're afraid to talk to somebody or you know whatever.
56:02: Or anxious whatever it is. But it's like if I could tell somebody I like doing that.
56:10: That's how I feel about it. And that's the whole reason why we do this. Because there's a lot of people that watch these that they may not have a home church or their church may not even be meeting because depending on what state they're in.
56:22: Or what country they're in. Yeah and it's just you know
56:28: I pray that the Lord uses these at some point in time for at least just one person out there.
56:34: And you know if it's just one person that it helps then it's all worth it.
56:42: So anyways thanks guys. I hope y 'all have a great night. And tomorrow's Friday.
56:48: Speaking of work I'm so happy. I know I'm so excited. Jordan's home for the weekend. So y 'all have a wonderful wonderful evening.
56:59: And we'll see y 'all next week. Bye! Oh next week we have It's at Pastor Jeff's house.
57:06: have Pastor Jeff next week. Don't forget Pastor we'll be at your house next Thursday. Bye guys!