A WOW Moment with Vicki, Anna and Jordan

Technical Difficulties and Opening Banter

I was like doing all the writing and stuff. I'm gonna have to take my final in the retreat because it's not like one of those things where you can do it before after I have to go in at that time. You would and it's like it's like one of those things where you have to log in and they have to see you.

Oh like.

A proctor test. I had to do one of those for this standardized test that we did to apply to the radiology program and they started my test late because they're like well they said it would start at this time and then it didn't and so I'm like did I do something wrong because they said it's like you didn't send a certain thing or you know because you have to take pictures of like your testing site.

So I had anxiety like I'm not gonna be able to take this.

Test because I can't reschedule. All right sorry we're late. I could not, my phone would not hook up to the Wi-Fi for some reason and it kept saying loading loading loading loading and it wasn't so I had to shut everything down start all over again and then we had somebody that was just a little late but that's okay because we had internet issues so she was just a little late Jordan.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I feel so bad. But it's okay because Anna and I had plenty of time to sit and chat for a while which we never have time to do. I know it was nice. This is my first time sitting with Anna.

I know. I'm just having a hard time. I know. I was like same. I'm so excited. So y 'all will have a lot of time on the retreat though. I know. Are you not going? Yes she's going. Oh well you said you would have a lot of time.

Y 'all will have a lot of time. Well what about us? We're not going to talk on the retreat?

Well yeah about what I was saying. I know she was joking.

Here are the giggles over here. It's been a week. It's been a week. It's been a week y 'all. We're just saying. We've had, I've had a week. I think Anna's had a week in one day. Just today alone. And we all know that Gigglebox over here has had a week.

I'm nervous. No don't be nervous. Oh you're usually on the other side. You're usually not on this side. No. People usually just hear your voice. They don't have to see me. Now they have to see me and it's like do I look at the camera or not?

No he just saw you. The camera's not even there. Oh okay. Yeah I think it's not even there. So we have Jordan McKee with us. McKee MCK. With us tonight and tonight my guest is a little younger than most of my guests I guess.

How old are you? 22. I have to do that too. I just turned 22. I keep wanting to say 21 but I'm 22. And my wonderful co-host tonight is the wonderful beautiful and the most talented Miss Anna Donovan.

Anna Donovan? Yes. Allen. That's fine it counts I guess. Anna Donovan Allen. It's fine we're one person. It's one blush. So it's fine. It's been a week. Right? It's Miss Anna Allen I'm sorry. I'm used to saying Anna Donovan.

Yeah. So it just runs out. Allen is the third person. Y 'all have an Allen in your family besides your last name? No.

I would love for that to happen because we actually have a patient at work that their last name is so it'd be like me naming my child Allen Allen that they have a name like that. And so I'm like that would be like us naming our child Allen and then him being Allen Allen.

So yeah but no we don't have any Allens. I'm confused.

Well then you can just call him Allen. Yeah but then we have all Allens over on his side of the family. But think about it at graduation Allen Allen and he'd probably be the first one. Hey that'd be true.

And then you can leave.

Well that's why I'm happy that we have the name the last name that starts with the name because I'm like I mean I was a B so I just went one up. But anyway like yeah I said whenever our kids graduate we can just sit there and then we can just leave.

Or you can go and eat and then come back and do the whole. Yeah because it takes like a whole hour to do all the names.

Not mine Arlington. They had it down packed. They had a schedule. They stuck to it. It takes 20 minutes for our graduation. How many kids do you have in your family? 500. Oh my gosh that's impressive.

I went to a graduation for Bolton and it was not that fast but I think they had like about 300 students and it still took about 30 minutes. And there was like a huge fight that happened. Oh that was your class.

That was on the news. Do you know how awkward it was to go to orientation for Memphis and be like yeah I graduated from Arlington. You're the school that has. I was being like never mind I was homeschooled.

That was not my school. Oh my gosh. Yeah it was amazing. I remember that. You could see in the video the people were walking in. This is so bad. This is fantastic. Alright so where are we going to be at?

Acts 23–26 and the Providence of God in Suffering

So I have a couple places and the reason I picked these specific places is these are the verses that I decided that I was going to be saved. So this is how my testimony started. So these are the verses that.

Which the part in Acts is not really like your average verses. It's more like a story of how it connects and it's how I saw how it connected. Like with the gospel. It really went with what was going on in my life and I was like oh this is really cool.

There's a reason for this. And I remember hearing it and the moment I heard it I was like well this is what I want to dedicate my life to. This is clearly not just some book. So this was kind of your deciding factors on if you wanted to follow Christ or if you wanted to continue to live that sinful shameful way you were living.

Yeah and that was just. Well this probably was like late September early October. That was about when. I don't have a specific date. I didn't keep up with that. I just knew that it happened and I just know it was between September and October.

I started coming to Whitten end of July.

So this is 2020. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

I had to think about it. I had to think about it.

She's a baby. Yeah.

Yeah. So the first verse is. Don't get carried away now.

Anna does the reading. You let me know what I read. Okay. Okay. So you've watched these and been here for a little bit. It's too much pressure. It's so much pressure when you're on it.

You're a sad girl. Saints against. No. Saints with anxiety and depression. That's S .W .A .D.

I thought it was Saints against depression. Anxiety and depression. S .A .A.

If you're at the Southgate, put a song called S .W .A .D.

S .A .D. S .A .D. Saints against anxiety and depression. Well then I thought it was S .W .A .D.

You were calling it. S .W .A .D. S .W .A .D. S .W .A .D.

All right. Well, anyway, if you're going to Aggs, if you have a notebook or if you have pen and paper, if you have your Bible or whatever, you're more than welcome to follow along with us. But I hope you enjoy it because I think this is going to be really, really, really good.

All right. What's the first verse we're going to be reading?

Act 23, verse 11. So kind of to give some people that aren't familiar with this, because I was not familiar with this when I started going over it. It was in Wednesday night Bible study. So Paul is in prison and God came to him and said, you are to testify to Caesar in Rome.

So next is Acts 24, verse 27.

After two years had passed, Felix received a successor, Porcius Festus, and because he wished to do a favor for the Jews, Felix left Paul in prison.

So he was in prison. I can't, I always have a tough time remembering this. I think it was two years. I think it was two years, which Paul, you know, spent a lot of time in prison. It says after two years.

Yeah, so. Oh.

Well, honestly, but not really truthfully, it says after two years had passed. So he could have been in prior to that.

So, which, you know, if you're watching this, it doesn't make sense yet. But once we get to this last verse, I promise you it's going to make a little more sense. So now we're going to read Acts 26. I'm trying to fit the pieces together.

OK, Acts 26, 24 through 32.

24 through 32.

Get ready for this. Prop it up. As he was making his defense this way, Festus exclaimed in a loud voice, you are out of your mind, Paul. Too much study is driving you mad. But Paul replied, I'm not out of my mind.

Most excellent Festus. Oh, I love this sass. On the contrary, I'm speaking words of truth and good judgment. For the king knows about these matters. It was to him that I'm actually speaking boldly. For I'm convinced that none of these things escapes his notice since this was not done in a corner.

King Agrippa, do you believe the prophets? I know you believe. Then Agrippa said to Paul, are you going to persuade me to become a Christian so easily? I wish before God, replied Paul, that you, I'm sorry, that whether easily or difficultly, not only you, but only to listen to me today might become as I am, except for these chains.

So the king, the governor, Bernice, and those setting up, sorry, those sitting up, hold on, and those sitting with them got up and when they had left, they talked with each other and said, this man is doing nothing that deserves death or chains.

Then Agrippa said to Festus, the man could have been released if he had not appealed to Caesar.

So that verse, verse 32, is what started all of this for me, where it says this man could have been released if he had not appealed to Caesar. So two years prior, he could have been released from prison, but because God had told him to, he stayed in prison just because God told him to.

Yeah, because in, what was it, 23? Yeah, 11. 11. Have courage, for as you have testified about me in Jerusalem, so you also must testify in Rome. So he didn't have to testify in Rome if he didn't want to, but he did.

And because of that, he appealed to Caesar. And he could have been freed from prison if he didn't do that, but he decided to because that's what God commanded him to do. Goosebumps. I know.

Drop. That's awesome. And so the reason all of this was so, this is going to get back into my personal life, but just so people know why it was so impactful for me, at the time, I had found out that Southwest lost my transcript, and I had just applied to Arkansas State to go into the radiology program.

But because they couldn't find my transcript, I could not go. And they only let you go one time, once a year, in January. So I would have started in January if they had found my transcript. At 2020? The day I found out was the day we were going over 26, and that was the day that all of these came together.

And I remember sitting there thinking, if Paul can sit in prison for two years, then I can deal with what has been handed to me. Like there's a reason for this. And as I've gone through this semester and not started it, I have realized that there really was a reason.

Because if I had started this two-year program that early into my training, Your salvation. Yeah, my salvation. Who knows if I would have come back? Who knows if I would have been here every Sunday? And then I shared this with my parents.

So this is what even just made it so much better. My aunt was going through some tough times, and I had shared this with my parents that night. I had texted them this long paragraph and was like, this is fine, we're going to make it.

Because they were kind of freaked out too. I mean, we've all invested so much time and so much money into all of this. And my mom screenshotted it and sent it to my aunt. And she started watching sermons from Witten when I shared that.

That's awesome. It was just, I cried when I found out because I was like, not only did that change me, it's helping to change her. And I never thought in a million years. And plus, for me to change, I'm sure anybody can.

But yeah, that was the day that I told myself I was like, no more. No more. I don't want anything to do with anything I did in my past at all. So. That's awesome. You're going to Rome.

Yeah, I'm going to Rome. To see Caesar. Yay. So excited to see Caesar.

But because, and now I'm also seeing like, yes, I could have been done and graduated quicker and easier and everything. But I'm seeing so many more things unfold. That because I could be, even though I'm not able to be here as much as I want to, because I've given up my Wednesdays to go to class on Wednesdays.

But I have been able to do way more than if I had started the program. Like, I went to the college trip to Branson. I would have not been able to do that if I was in that program. Because our spring breaks didn't line up.

But because I only had classes Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and they were going on the weekend, I could have gone. And only because of that is the reason that was able to be done. And that was a great trip.

I got to know everybody a little bit better. I've been able to continue to come on Sundays and stay longer on Sundays versus probably having to leave earlier on Sundays because I'd have to be back because there's just five days a week.

So, like, there's just been a lot of things that has been able to happen because of that. And it's all because of this verse.

That's awesome. So, you don't think it's just a coincidence? No.

I mean, of course, people are going to say it's just a coincidence. But I don't think it's a coincidence at all that all of this happens in the same day that we are going over Acts 26. Like, that could have happened.

I could have heard that news any other time. But the day of.

Well, that's the thing. Well, when you're going through things like that, you're just like, why is this happening? Like, I'm so mad. I just want this to happen because I want to get this done. And, like, you know, all of that.

It's just frustrating because I'm a planner. I don't know if you watched that last episode. Yes. I have problems. I'm a builder. Yeah. I'm the same way. And so, I could see having that, like, knowing how I am and seeing how you are.

I'm like, that would have been so difficult for me because.

Some of us have the tendency to do things like that.

And so, I would have been livid because I'm like, now this is pushing my whole life back another year after I've already, you know, gone to school. Because I'm 26, so you have some less years. But I'm like, I'm just starting, like, my program or, like, applying to the program at 26.

So, I want to be done at, like, this age so I can, you know, do, like, all the next things I'm supposed to do. And so, that for me would have been, like, life shattering. And so, but to find comfort in God's word of what he tells you, like, if you are obedient to me, you will be okay.

And that was the first time I had ever experienced peace as well. Wasn't that crazy? Yeah, which was, like, I remember sitting there, because, you know, I have anxiety. So, like, that would have given me so much anxiety.

And I experience chaos all the time over just the simplest things because of my anxiety. And that alone would have sent me over the edge. But I literally, my parents were freaking out more than I was.

And I was, like, it's okay. And, like, I wasn't just saying that to convince myself. I was very at peace. I was very calm. And I was, like, I almost freaked myself out. Like, what is going on? I was, like.

That's how you know it's not you. It's the Holy Spirit. Like, this is not like me. I was, like, this is not normal, Jordan. This is not normal to be this calm over something like this. But I was truly, like, at peace.

And it was the most comforting feeling. And I remember I was, like, I don't want to lose this. I was, like, I don't want to. Whatever I got to do to keep this, we're going to keep it. Because I was, like, this is great.

Like, this is. I finally feel, even though so many, so many things, not even just that were falling apart in my life. Like, my whole life was falling apart. And I remember just being. It was almost like I was just sitting there.

And everything was just falling apart. And I'm just. Your whole world is just crashing around you. Everything's okay. I'm okay. Everything is going to be okay. And that was when I figured out what God's will was.

And since then, I refuse to miss a Sunday. Refuse to miss any kind of anything that I can do to be with my family. Right. Because it was a pretty life-changing thing. I mean, that was in October. And my life has completely turned around in so many ways.

Like, I'm a completely different person in such a short amount of time. And almost in that way, I'm like, oh, I can understand Peter. Three months or whatever. And so, I just. Sometimes even now, I'm looking at myself and I go, who am I?

Like, I don't recognize this person. I don't recognize this person at all. But at the same time, I'm like, thank goodness. Thank goodness. Because. Well, what's that scripture?

What was it? Behold, the old is passed away. Or behold, the new has come.

It's 1 Corinthians. Don't be looking at me.

I'm the old one here. It's somewhere in 1 Corinthians.

The old has passed away. But the new has come. And it's like, that's exactly what the Holy Spirit is in the business of doing. Is, like, taking you down, stripping you down to your bare bones. And then building you back up.

Because, like you said, without the Holy Spirit's comfort through scripture. You would have been freaking out. Like, I know I can see myself freaking out. I know, like, you would too.

And going back to, like, what you were saying is being a planner. I was a notorious planner. Like, from high school, I had my whole life planned. Whole life planned.

We're going to be friends shortly. So, I remember I was like, I'm this, this, and this. So, like, I went into college.

I went into college, and I was going to be a biomed engineer. I was going to graduate in four years. I was going to go to med school. I was going to become a surgeon. And then they told me, you've got to have four years of math.

I said, nope. I said, absolutely not. Not even just math. You've got to have four years of calculus. So, I, like, did the first semester, and I was like, no, this is just not for me. Like, we're just going to let this go.

And so, then I, like, switched, and, like, so many things were falling apart. And my car was stolen.

That was the whole situation.

My car was stolen. I was actually ran over by my own car. And, yeah. You'll have to tell me later. A whole long story. And then, like, literally two days after, or, like, the next day, I had gotten a call.

And they had told me I had pre-cancer cells. And so, like, even though it wasn't cancer, that was enough to scare me. Right. Well, cancer, yeah. Anything with the word cancer. So, I freaked out, and that was when I really, like, rebelled.

And I remember, like, everything just falling apart. And then once this happened, well, then some more things fell apart. Yeah. And then that's what brought me here, was actually to the Mercedes. Mercedes.

Yeah. So, I ended up working with her. And ever since then, I have just decided that I don't want anything to do with worldly values at all.

Living in the World, the Holy Spirit, and the Hope of Christ's Return

Well, and what's crazy to me, I mean, just even, like, what's going on in the world right now, I'm just, like, I'm so tired of this place. I need Jesus to come back. Oh, my gosh. Yes. All the time. Like, global warming, people are just freaking out, oh, the world's going to end.

This is not how the world is going to end, it tells us.

The world's ending every day, regardless if you want to or not.

But people are just, they're, oh, my gosh, this is not happening. The sky's falling, the sky's falling. But I was actually talking about this at work, because they were talking, oh, you know, like, how the world's going to end.

I said, I know how the world's going to end. And they're like, how? And I said, well, it's in Scripture. It's in Revelation. Look it up. And they're like, oh, well, I'm not religious. I'm like, it doesn't matter if you're religious or not.

It's going to happen. That's my favorite.

It's going to happen. But, okay. I always tell them, well, I'm not religious either. Yeah. Me either. I'm not religious.

But it's like, it doesn't matter. Well, if you're not religious, let's just show you.

Yeah, we're going to show you what's going to happen anyway, because you're going to, you know. But that's the thing. Having all of this worldly chaos, going back to what you were saying, and then having the Holy Spirit in you just gives you a peace.

You're just like, oh, this happened. Okay. This is, it's everything that God has predicted up until this point. Why am I surprised? Like, that something other than that's going to happen. So it's just like, I'm not surprised.

You're not surprised now.

That's what I always think of. Luke 22, 42, not my will, but your will be done. Because it does not, you know, everybody freaks out about who's president, who, this virus, everything's going on. But what people fail to understand is everything that's happening was supposed to happen.

Everything that's happening, he, God allowed that to happen. God made that happen. So whatever's happened, like happening, it's supposed to. Let it happen. So there's no need to freak out. There is no need to, you know, go out and hoard toilet paper.

I need toilet paper! Like just sit back, take, you know, take three steps back, take cold breaths.

But the people who don't have the Holy Spirit don't understand that piece. They don't. And to me, that's really sad because like when I have a family member who dies, if I know that they're saved, I'm like, okay, I can rest easy because I know.

But even with those people that I don't know who were saved, I mean, I don't have peace about that. Because it's like I know where they are and where they're going to spend eternity. However, that was God's will, you know, predestination, all that stuff.

However, they had a free will. They had chances. Nobody is without excuse. And it says that in scripture. And we teach, well, I teach GAs like three out of the four weeks of the month. And I'm trying to pound into these girls' heads.

And it's like none of you will have an excuse like whenever you die because like God's nature, that should be enough for you. Well, like the hills will say no.

Think about all the chances you get when you are on earth. Like that's what I think of all the time. Like when people hear all the time, you know, how can this, how can a God that love you be so harsh, be so evil and, you know, do all these horrible things.

And it's like, okay, he created you and he loved you before the foundation of the world. He made like all those things and you still treat him like you hate him. And he still lets you live. You don't want him.

But it says that the wages of sin is death, but you're still alive. So you have all these chances.

He allows you to wake up every morning with breath in your lungs.

Every breath you take is a gift from God. And so, and not only that, I, I wasn't, I was an atheist and I rejected God and I didn't want anything to do with that. I was angry with him for everything he put me through.

But how are you mad at him if you're an atheist?

See, the thing is, I don't even think I was an atheist. Well, that's my argument. Because I only did that just so I didn't have to talk about it. Yeah.

No one's going to talk to me if I'm an atheist. And so every time.

Yeah. And, but I would never like my, like, I remember my grandparents would, you know, tell me all the time you need to go to church. And I remember I kept, I knew that was what I was supposed to be doing.

Like I knew that's what I needed to do, but I didn't want to. You rebelled. Yeah, so I rebelled. So I never told them I was an atheist, but when I was out with my friends and that would come up, I'd be like, no, I don't believe I'm an atheist.

Isn't that funny? And now, and now look at me. Now, and now I'm the person that I used to hate. That's what's so funny to me. I am the person that I used to hate. And I'm like, that, that's hilarious.

Uh-huh. That's, yeah. Look at me, buddy.

No, God does have a sense of humor. He sure does. Yeah. Well, to me, that's what makes, well, that's what makes your transformation to me so powerful. Yeah. Because especially with this day and age, a lot of people are denying Christ and rebelling against God.

Yeah, and it's like, you know, my God, just like the things that I see on social media. I don't even have social media, but like the things that I hear about, like what kids, like one time one of the kids at, um, at church, they had their cell phone on them, which they weren't supposed to.

And I heard them listening to something on their phone. And I heard M, F, or, you know, whatever. And I'm like, I said, turn it off and give it to me. I'm like, are your parents allowing you? Like, do your parents even know what you're doing?

It's just amazing. The stuff that goes on, like, in this world. But going back to what I was saying, um, to see that transformation, like I said earlier, that's what the Holy Spirit is in business to do.

Like, you were, you know, I'm not saying like you personally, but just like before we were saved, I was like, I don't know. But we were all stupid and sinful. I mean, gosh, like there are things that I think about.

I've been a Christian ever since I got saved when I was like 11 or 12. And so I've been a Christian for a long time. However, I still did really stupid things during that time because of like teenage hormones and, you know, just being a teenager.

But it's like, I did a bunch of stupid things and I still think back to that. And I'm like, oh, it's like cringeworthy moments, just things that just like just rip me to my core. However, I'm like, I'm talking to myself.

You don't got to worry about that because you've already been forgiven about that. You're for that.

It's gone. Just keep moving forward. I look back at all those stupid things and like I try to remember my thought process. And literally the only thing I can come up with is I really just didn't care.

You're just being reckless. Like I was just like, I'll do it if I want to. And when people like told me no, that was when I was going to do it the most. Girl, you're a little rebel. Oh, I was horrible.

I was horrible. Okay, watch this. Yeah, no, that was literally me. Like it was. So you said no. Oh, okay. Or if you say I can't do it, that was that was even worse. If you say no, like I'm just going to do it.

But if you say no, you can't do that. But I can watch. So like when I look at how just because when I was before, I would say I used I told Mercedes this all the time. It was so much easier when I wasn't saying because I didn't have to care.

I've had a lot of people say that. Yeah, because now people can tell me like people here at church will tell me things and it almost rips me apart more than my own issues. And I remember before people would tell me things.

I was like, oh, that sucks. Like I really just didn't care. I didn't even care about what was hurting me.

Like I didn't. So how can you have empathy for others?

I had no empathy for myself, other people. I just did what I wanted to do. And I just I don't even know how like it was. It's kind of funny how they say you're alive when you're safe because how I look back on myself, I was really dead.

Like there was no like soul in that person. You were just existing. I was just existing from day to day to day.

And that's how the world is though. If you look at people that live in the world, they're just kind of floating around. And I saw this the other day too. Some people say, you know, why do these bad things always happen to all these good people?

That's my argument. But this was the comeback. This was the comeback. Why does evil have to put the people that are living for the world, put them through anything?

Because they're already going to a specific, they're already. They're already that way. And he's not trying to. Break them away from. Is this from that? I had a Facebook post.

Did you? Maybe that's what it's about. It's like a side event to this one. Maybe that's what it's about. That's what it's about. But I saw it somewhere. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I saw it somewhere.

So, you know, sure. I mean, it's easy to live for the world and not have a care because you're.

Going to be caring when you burn it. I saw a meme and it said there is one day where every nonbeliever will be a believer. Yes. I saw that one. Yeah, when they are on the throne or at the throne of God, they will be a believer.

Yeah. And what kills me is the people that joke about it. Like how I'm going to hell. Yeah. Well, they joke about, you know, going to hell.

And I think it's, you know, just an imaginary place.

And they're going to do this, that. And it's like, okay, clearly y 'all didn't hear the same thing I heard because I don't want nothing to do with that. You know, you can have the gnashing of teeth. I don't want it.

That's a little scary to me. Same. But, like, it makes me sad because these people, they clearly know. Right. Like, they know what's going on. They know where they're going. And they still just, it doesn't matter.

Well, with one member of my family, he ended up, like, he went to church with us and did all this stuff with us. So, he knows what scripture says. He does not believe that God created in six days and rested on the seventh.

He believes that it was, like, years and years and years, like, all this stuff. So, he doesn't believe in, like, the six-day creation. He doesn't understand the concept of, like, a personal relationship with Christ.

It's just, like, a religion type thing. Like, you go to church on Sunday, wear suits, like, all that stuff. And then, and he doesn't believe in, like, heaven or hell. And so, my mom ended up speaking to this guy and was, like, so, what are you going to do?

Like, you know, like, so, what if, you know, if there was, you know, like, in his mind, if there was really a heaven or hell, what would you do if you were going to hell? And he's, like, well, I guess I'd just burn.

My mom was, like, well, wouldn't you just, wouldn't you want, like, that security? Like, if you knew it was real, why wouldn't you want to go ahead and, like, go to heaven instead of go to hell? So, it's, like, he just can't comprehend it.

And it makes me really sad because I'm really close to this person. And at this moment, I know if he would die, he would go to hell. And that, like, rips my insides out, you know. But it's, like, you said, before you're a Christian, you don't, you're very selfish.

You only care about, like, what you want and everything. You don't really have empathy for others. But when you are a Christian, like, when someone in our family hurts, like, and I say our church family, I hurt.