1 Timothy 5-6:2, “Do You Want Respect?”

Respecting Older Believers, Widows, and Household Duty

1 Timothy chapter 5 beginning starting verse 1 beginning to chapter 6 verse 2. Here's the word of the Lord Do not rebuke an older man, but encourage him as you would a father treat younger men like brothers older women like mothers young women like sisters in all purity.

Honor widows who are truly widows but if a widow has children our grandchildren let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and Make some return to their parents, but this is pleasing in the sight of God.

She who is truly a widow left all alone has set her hope on God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day. But she who was self-indulgent is dead even while she lives. Command these things as well so that they may be without reproach.

But if anyone does not provide for his own relatives and especially for him members of his household He has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. Let a widow be enrolled if she is not less than 60 years of age having been the wife of one husband and having a reputation for good works.

If she has brought up children has shown hospitality has washed the feet of the Saints has cared for the afflicted and has devoted Herself to every good work, but refused to enroll younger widows for when their passions draw them away from Christ.

They desire to marry and so incur condemnation for having abandoned their former faith. Besides that they learn to be idlers going about from house to house. Not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies saying what they should not so I wouldn't have younger widows.

Mary bear children manage their households and give the adversary no occasion for slander for some have already Strayed after Satan. If any believing woman has relatives who are widows let her care for them.

Let the church not be burdened so that it may care for those who are really widows. Let the elders who rule well be considered worthy of double honor especially those who labor in preaching and teaching.

But the scripture says you shall not muzzle an ox when it treads out the grain and the laborer deserves his wages. Do not admit a charge against an elder except on the evidence of two or three witnesses as for those who persist in sin.

Rebuke them in the presence of all so that they may. So that the rest may stand in fear in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus and of the elect angels. I charge you to keep these rules without prejudging doing nothing from partiality.

Do not be hasty in the laying on of hands nor take part in the sins of others. Keep yourself pure. No longer drink only water, but use a little wine for the sake of your stomach and your frequent ailments.

The sins of some men are conspicuous going before them to judgment, but the sins of others appear later. So also good works are conspicuous and even those that are not cannot remain hidden. Let all who are under a yoke of slaves regard their own masters as worthy of all honor.

So that the name of God and the teaching may not be reviled. Those who have believing masters must not be disrespectful on the ground that they are brothers rather. They must serve all the better since those who benefit by their good service are believers and beloved.

If the Lord had his blessings to the reading of his holy word. R-e-s-p-e-c-t. Find out what it means to me. Do you want respect?

Just a little bit.

You don't have to answer that. Everyone wants respect, you know. Businesses particularly deal with you know, customer service kind of businesses. Deal with the public. Treat customers with learned. They better learn to treat customers with respect because even if they charge too much or they make a mistake in the product.

Customers will come back if they feel respected. Some wives however. Think that though they can prove their independence or whatever. They're trying to prove by Disrespecting their husbands may be talking constantly about his failures or insulting him maybe jokingly or maybe not.

Nothing.

Good ever comes from that. Okay children get what. Especially when they grow to be teenagers. Get older. They get where they They dislike and they get a little sensitive to they're being treated with disrespect.

By their parents the way you used to treat them as a little kids. Now, but they begin. They you understand that they're being disrespected. And sometimes they end up wanting to move out just because of that.

People love respect and hate to be insulted. Ignored or patronized. People love respect and to be deprived of it eats away at our soul. White racists understood this and understand this. The one thing that they were determined to do was deprive black people of respect.

They would call grown men boy to disrespect them. Southern segregation was never really about segregation. Segregation. Me to be apart keeping the races apart. You know in the South whites and blacks all had always lived in close proximity.

Working together with each other daily sometimes in the very same households. Southern segregation was really about Humiliation. You make them ride in the back of the bus. You make them drink from inferior water fountains or use inferior bathrooms.

Go to lesser equipped schools even in the churches originally. They were integrated. That is blacks and whites went to the same churches. But in what is one of the great abominations of all of church history the whites made their black brothers and sisters.

You know sit in the back of the church or in the balcony if the church had one and never let them be part of The church leadership. They judge them by the color of their skin not by the content of their character or faith.

And so as soon as the black Christians could. Mostly after the Civil War they understandably formed their own churches because we all want respect. The question is.

How do you get it.

We see that here in three major parts. Respect as family. Respect in the church and respect in the world. Well first Timothy. I Mean you say that right? That's the name of the book. Is that first? Timothy treat the members of your church like family knows that first two verses respect an older man by not Rebuking him means like Tensely scolding him.

You wouldn't scold your grandfather. Would you just be out of place? That doesn't mean that he is never to Timothy never to correct an older man that the church is after all as we saw last week a Gymnasium of godliness a place where one goes to be trained to be to live reverently for God.

No one no one gets past the need for training. But that does mean that. Older Christian men are not to be severely chastised to be scolded like they're too rowdy children. I stop that. They deserve by their years of training to be godly to be treated with more respect.

Treat the other members to the church like members of the family not as servants to whom orders can be barked. Not as employees who are hired to do a job. You know to give you the music or to give you a lesson to entertain you on Sunday morning.

Not as women who can be picked up like at a bar. A lot of churches like to say We are family and we see here in the first two verses. That is very biblical. To aspire to but the key to making that real.

Not just an empty slogan is Respect and concern as if we're family. Other church members aren't just like fellow customers at a restaurant. I you don't think of the other guy in the booth next to you at Applebee's.

Is your family. But that's not the church. No, just not like fellow spectators at a movie. You're just kind of coincidentally. They're watching the same show. That's not the church. They're the church is people you treat as family older men like fathers.

Younger men like brothers. Older women like mothers. Younger women like sisters. Not only is the church to be a family. The family is to be in a way the first church. It is the family which has the primary responsibility for the care of its members and those who have families.

He says in verse 4 notice that they exercise their godliness. This isn't really even the way we think today. What does it mean to exercise your godliness show your godliness? How do we how do you do that when you come to church you think maybe you pray you read your Bible?

That's how you exercise your godliness here though. Not only that's all true. That's what those ways of exercising your godliness, but also you exercise your godliness. By the care for the members of your family.

Those who have families should he said in verse 4 Exercise their godliness show their that is their reverence for God show that By providing for your family. It's as simple as that. We often don't think of that as a way to Show your love of in fear of God.

But it is and we can hear these words here in this chapter about a life totally dedicated to prayer. Seeking God day and night and we can get a very kind of otherworldly, you know, live in a monastery and just.

Hum.

Chant things all day long get a very otherworldly view of what God wants out of us. That's what it means. To be spiritual is just to be totally unconcerned about anyone around you just you and God. But for most of us for most of our lives God wants us to serve him by serving our families.

He says for this is acceptable to God. He is what the inspired Apostle says in verse 4. This is acceptable. So what. This is what God wants. A life in which we serve him by serving our families. That's what God respects.

And verse 6. He tells us that the one who was living for pleasure. You know the work. The girl who just wants to have fun Doesn't care about raising children or grandchildren. Or the person is just you know For the weekend.

Or maybe even a little more respectable in our view. Saving up his money because he wants to just live a life of retirement in a hammock. You know in doing everything he or she wants to do enjoying Everything only thinking about himself Herself.

Such a life Paul says in verse 6 is.

Is dead.

The life of self-indulgence. What many people in our culture think you that that's what you that's what you work and you save for right, so you can retire and Live someplace where everything's about you and every day you just wake up late and do whatever you feel like doing for yourself.

That's life, isn't it? Is it that what we're all working for? It's what our culture says. Paul says it's death. It is service either to God through the family or to God through the church. That is life.

This is so much so that the one who deserves the least respect deserve. No respect is the one who will not take care of his family in verse 8. He says he has denied the faith. Look at that. He's denied the faith not talking about some cult that's out there, you know.

Doctrinally disagreeing with the fundamentals of the faith of the Apostles Creed or whatever. He's saying the person who won't take care of his family has denied the faith by his very life. And is worse than an unbeliever.

It's a fundamental Christian duty to provide for our family. If we don't do it Paul's it tells us that we're worse than unbelievers because even the pagans in Paul's day Recognized that caring for one's family was a basic duty the famous philosopher Aristotle said it would be better to starve Than to let your parents go without food.

In the case when a woman didn't have a family didn't have a family to support her. Then the church was her family. Widows and he knows they repeatedly talks about widows who are real widows and that seems kind of odd.

Yeah, I mean real widows that maybe you know, your husband died. You're a widow. That's how you know. He means real they have no other family to support them and they're they committed themselves to the church.

They're the real widows. Widows who are godly who have trained in this gymnasium of reverence who have no other means of support. Who give themselves to a life of prayer and service? Those are the real widows there to be honored.

There to be respected. They have as he says in verse 5 set their hopes on God. Like the widow Anna, you know, God respects Anna. No Anna from Luke chapter 2 verse 36 38. Remember her. She was there when Jesus was brought to the temple she spent her time and in the temple worshiping and praying day and night.

Why did Luke tell us that story? Not only something about Jesus but also this is a life of Anna that God respects. Seeking God day and at dedicating the last years of her life Exclusively to the Lord and it was such a lady that God honored by revealing the real identity of the baby Jesus when he was brought there we are to honor such people to people who in the latter years of the life are more and more Seeking the Lord they more and more realize the value of eternal things.

Not just the value of a good doctor. More and more enraptured with the Lord that they are going soon to see. In Timothy's church, they were to be honored by being practically cared for these kinds of widows.

While they gave themselves to spiritual things practically cared for him. That means that means money. All right means food. Taken care of now someone who makes that pledge. That the church will be their family from now on that Commitment to to pray in the church and help the church in it what it needs.

They deserve great respect and those kinds of people deserve so much honor. That we have to be careful about. Who we let do that? If we let anyone pledge that they will give the rest of their lives. To seeking God to helping the church and they later then go back on that pledge.

They decided that hasn't that's nothing, you know. They have that that guy down their street looks pretty good to me. They bring in to disrepute all who make that commitment. Paul says that they have to they have to meet certain high qualifications.

So with these real widows, they must be says in verse 9. They got to be over 60 years old. Okay, they have been faithful to their husband when they had one they have a reputation of good works. What people think of them they do they help people out.

They're responsive. They've responsibly brought up children. They were hospitable. They he says washed the feet of the Saints. They did the practical sort of serving things that needed to be done for people.

They were been humble. They've been unselfish. They've shown genuine care for others. They're not to be the kind of people who will use kind of the unstructured life of prayer in church. They're gonna give their lives to prayer and there's not a you know.

It's not a time clock there when they start praying and then they stop there's not a boss. They're overlooking making sure you're there. You're continuing praying and doing what the practical things. It's unstructured.

And they they're not to be the kind of people that would use that Paul says in verse 13 to be idle. You know, they turn on the TV. What's on the room? What's on the soap operas this afternoon and go around from house to house supposedly doing visitation.

But really just spreading gossip talking about everybody indulging in an undisciplined destructive chat.

That.

Deserves no respect. Paul says now serving the Lord in the church is not something we do a little bit on the side. Kind of for as long as you feel like it until something more interesting comes along.

Until it's not fun anymore until some. Other gentleman, you know, maybe you get married to him. It's a pledge to Christ himself. He says in verse 11 notice that. Because you think he needs these ladies are committing to the church.

Paul says it's a pledge to Christ himself. If someone makes such a pledge to spend the rest of their lives in prayer and practical support of the church. Then he said they better fulfill that pledge. Or else their passions are drawing them away.

Notice verse 12. They made this pledge to the church and. Something happens. They get just drawn away. They're they're supposed to be spending their rest of their lives in prayer or practical service for the church.

Then in verse 12 some passions draw them away and they have been drawn away from. What? In verse 12. Not just the church from Christ he says. In verse 12 notice that. Notice two things about that. They're drawn away from Christ.

First. The commitment they thought was just to the church was really to Christ. When they broke their pledge to the church. Just the body of Christ. They broke it to Christ. So they you know, they have and he even calls it they they followed away from.

They broke away from their first faith. Second thing to notice. God takes integrity very seriously, doesn't he? This pledge.

That.

Some of these women have made he expects us to fulfill our vows. Whether they be marriage vows or oaths of allegiance, you know, we enter the military or even our church covenant. Certainly our own commitment to God.

We cannot make such commitments and then kind of go about our business. Nice words but we go about our business as if. We're not bound by them. This is they're just decoration when we enter into a commitment.

It's like putting water in our hands. If you open your hands you break your word. You lose the water. You lose your integrity. Better never to make a pledge at all and to make it and then break it. You want respect.

Then keep your commitments. This is why he says in verse 14 that younger widows he didn't want them to make the pledge. Raises the age level to 60 all these requirements. So there's a lot of women out there.

You're not even we're not even gonna let you make this commitment. It's better for you. Go find a man to marry rule over a house. You're young enough. Bear more children raise children. We sometimes demean being a housewife, but that too is highly honorable.

And here. For Paul, it's it's a common-sense advice. That is best for the ladies. It's best for reputation of the church. It's kind of common-sense advice. What do you do? We got a younger widow. She wants to give her life in prayer and service to the church.

No better for her to. Yeah, we think that's just great. She's on fire for the Lord. She's zealous. No, it's not. Okay, she may be caught up in her Zeal for now, but something may change common-sense advice protect the young people against their short-sightedness.

Protect. Protect them against you know what they think right now they want to do but that in the long run. Things will change its common-sense advice to give people a practical way to serve God in their families.

Not away from it. It's also advice in striking contrast to the rage for celibacy that later developed in the history of the church as foolish people suppose that celibacy was the ideal and. They did that became the for a thousand years and still is in some places the ideal if you're a serious Christian.

That's what you strive for. And of course that gave the opposition a basis to mock the church. Just as Paul said it would and it did. Do you want respect? It didn't live as a family providing for yours respecting the church as as.

If it were found a family. Which it is. What do you want respect. Then the second thing in the church honor God's Word. If you really honor his word. You'll respect those who teach it to you. This may sound very self-serving for the next few minutes, but that's the way it is.

Paul challenges Timothy in verse 7 notice that verse 7 about Paul's commanded to Timothy. She's challenged to Timothy.

Command.

These things. Now Timothy may be treating everyone like their family members, but he is in a position to command. And Paul expects as we see in the second half of the chapter. That in the church respect would be given to those who lead in verse 17 and here we're going for a 17 onward.

All true elders in the church deserve honor. But here there are some who are gifted in leading that leading the church. And are diligent at their colleague and they he says deserve a double honor and there's twice as much honor.

If they're leading well, think of a wheelchair World Championship sports team. Maybe like the NBA Golden State Warriors all the players on the team deserve honor, right? They all get a ring. But Kevin Durant the new star of the team, ah.

He's hailed as worthy of double honor, right? He's the MVP. Well elders are worthy of respect because they lead God's church. Now sure is Christ who rules his church. It's the responsibility of elders to direct the church in the ways that Christ is ruling.

Elders are sort of God's lieutenants. Those any you are the military God's lieutenants who pass on God's orders from on high to us enlisted Christian soldiers. Of course, we all have direct access to God.

Elders or pastors are not priests. They do not stand between us and and God you don't have to go through me. You know God's not back there and you're here and I'm between you doesn't work like that. There's no room back there.

Anyway, it's outside. We do not have to go to an elder in order to get to God. However, when we are saved God calls us into a church and We are responsible to follow the leaders in our church as as they are following Christ.

So elders lead which implies that we are to be following. And now some might say huh? That's not like a cult. You're talking like a cult. Especially if you're white, that's what you're thinking right now.

Following a man blindly like that. Well, that's True maybe but that's really not what scripture is saying first. We do not follow a man in scripture. They are always elders and knows here right here elders plural and Every church is not just one one man at the top like a pyramid shaped structure.

But there's multiple men. They collectively lead the church as a team second. We might follow we might follow but not blindly. Because we are to be led by By them to see the will of Christ from his word after all, you know, they're bringing to us the work.

What's the word? Say and that's that's how. They're leading us and if they're leading us away that's away from his word. Well We don't we don't follow them anymore in verse 17. We see there is a special group of elders who not only direct but they you know He says they labor in preaching and teaching notice the word.

There's several words here key words first, though, especially. Otherwise respect honor elders who lead well. They deserve a double honor if they lead well. Especially so I think of us concentric circles.

There's elders someone lead well and even a smaller group and that they especially those who Labor in preaching and teaching and they're worthy of double honor. Actually, so there's a there's a subgroup in there those who labor in The Word of God there's a work and the word for work there means to toil to work hard.

Strenuous labor that results in weariness and fatigue at least over time. It makes you want a vacation after a while. Please after I finished next chapter.

Oh.

You may think it doesn't look tiring. I'm used to it. You know, I did a distance runner you watch a distance runner and you think anybody can do that. It's not impressive, but try it mile after mile after mile.

You may think preaching then look hard. I can talk to try it week after week after week. It's tiring after a while. So this is not the kind of work one could do on the side. It's sort of a hobby. Merely after completing, you know, you can leave your job.

You know, I like to watch ESPN or I like to do volleyball or like to golf. And this other guy he likes to preach. Okay, you do it after no work suggests full-time work. Do we honor it? There are three telltale signs.

What we truly honor particularly we honor the word three of them pay. Protection and a passion for purity. I know I got some alliteration in here. It's the only bit you'll get the here it is pay. It's obviously a delicate issue for me to be addressing but it's necessary to show you what the passage says this passage tells us.

Practically how we give respect and we do it practically with pay. Don't tell me you respect me if you're not gonna pay me period. I don't want to hear it. You're just wasting my time. It's through the Word of God that God that God reveals his son Jesus to us that he saves us that he trains us in.

This gymnasium of godliness through the Word of God that he enables us to grow and there's a church. You know, that's what we're in business to do. So we need the Word of God to do that and we need those who will present the word apply the word to us.

Those who help us do that by applying the word to us. Paul says here they deserve. They deserve pay like an ox deserves grain.

They need to eat.

Okay, they deserve pay like a worker deserves a wage.

Right.

If you don't give your work if you're beginning you employers here. You don't pay your worker. The government's gonna get on to you because they deserve it. And to at least some degree. What we pay elders pastors those who labor in preaching and teaching or that we pay them adequately is.

Some I want to say it's the degree and the only degree the only indication but it's one indicator of how much we honor them. How we handle our money? Where our treasure is. Says a lot about where our heart is.

It's a great indicator of what and who we respect. Now, I know man, obviously again money is a delicate issue for me particularly for me and I. If I if I want respect eyes the pastor have to be accountable.

I'm paid by the church. That's why we have deacons and try to consult them about the expenses of the budget of the church. That's why I don't handle the money, right? I don't go back there and count the offering and see who's given what and normally I don't not have even no knowledge of.

How much any individual gives if he wants respect. There are two things a pastor should not touch the money and the women. Right the second expression of honoring except for one. He has a wife. The second expression of honoring the word is a in faithful biblical preaching is a protection for elders.

The verse 19 says that elders should be protected from rumors and just unfounded accusations. I we have a thing in our culture where people think they could just make up anything about a leader and it is true.

Just because they make it up. I Could give. I could go on a lot about that especially in current events. But I saw a World War two movie about a snipers at them about at the Battle of Stalingrad. You know Stalingrad in Russia the Russians versus the Germans.

The movie is called enemy at the gates now the main character is this Russian sniper and he said. He won't even shoot a private. He won't even shoot a regular foot soldier says it's not worth his trouble.

It's not even worth the bullet. He shoots only officers. He understands they could do a lot more damage to the German army by destroying its leadership. And just by picking off privates here and there in some way.

In the same way the church's enemies Go after the leaders. So a biblical church must be aware of the way the leadership is are specially vulnerable sometimes the criticism to suspicion of being assumed guilty and Till proven innocent which they probably can never really do and will work to protect those who deserve respect.

So here notice verse 19 do not admit. The word there admit can mean. Don't even accept on the words. What are you admitting into your mind? It forms your opinions that shapes the way you see things don't even entertain ideas.

Don't accept a charge against an elder except on the evidence of two or three witnesses. Otherwise, just one guy shows up and Starts telling you these things. It's an elder and this is just his his what he says.

Don't even admit it doesn't shape your opinion. Unless there's others that say the same thing. You don't assume it's true. Until The elders proven innocent. You don't even assume it's worth considerate unless there are other witnesses who cooperate it.

This is also a cultural issue. If I could talk different cultures here. We have at least three major cultures represented here one culture represented here. You white people has a special problem with honoring leaders.

Our culture teaches us the white mainstream American white culture. That is fine to say anything you want against a leader. That's even the law in this country. You understand you can say anything you want against a national leader.

You can't get sued for it or penalized for it. At least not officially but by the government and other other cultures though you lived in other cultures you understand. There's often very different that they assume that their leader should be protected.

Ebenezer Baptist Church Which is about a mile down the road here has out has had only six pastors since it was founded in the 1840s. That's averages over 30 years per pastor. Okay, many white churches will go will go through more than six pastors in 30 years.

At one time I visited numerous Chinese churches in North America and all the churches that I have heard of in Singapore. Not once have I heard of a Chinese Church where there was a split or a pastor who was run off because of rumors.

That were just sort of.

Instigated from the congregation. Yet that kind of thing happens all the time in white churches. It happened all the way back to Jonathan Edwards in 1750 who was driving out of his church and fired because Nothing.

And it is characterized white American church life ever since it's rooted in a basic lack of respect.

For leaders.

I'd like to tell a joke on this sort of on this related to this, you know in the black church. They call the path. You know what? They call the black in the black church. They call the pastor's wife color the first lady and.

The Chinese Church, they call the pastor's wife Mrs. Pastor and the white church they call her To tell her the bathroom is dirty. Only the non. Now on the flip side of the elders rightful protection from baseless rumors Is the third expression of honoring the word that is the elders called to a passion for purity.

No one is above accountability in the church. Not even the elders who may have once been worthy of a double honor. Here the Apostle Paul specifically gives us directions for discipline against any elder when an elder is caught in a sin.

That is two or three witnesses have shown something to be true and it's gone through church discipline process. He doesn't get off more easily than other members. He is protected as long as he's innocent.

But when charges are proved true, then he is even more severely disciplined. Paul says that his sins are to be exposed before all the people in verse 21. So the church is not a good old boys club where the problems with you know.

The favorite the few powerful people or their relatives those are covered up. Ultimately, it's not the man that we respect ultimately. It's the Word of God that we hold in highest honor and when that word exposes the sins of anyone.

Even the man men entrusted with leading the church. We hold them accountable. So, you know like the directions what I've just described to you Doesn't look a whole lot like almost any other church you will find around us today and It's like the directions we talked about two weeks ago.

A lot of people just today in the church just totally ignore these instructions here. But but here they are noticed by Paul. They're they're they're urged on us. Where does he say?

I can't find it right now. I'm looking at it.

He tells Timothy Do these things in the presence of God. In verse 21 in the presence of God God the Father and of Christ Jesus and to the elect angels in their presence. They are witnesses. I Charge you this is very serious.

Just because it's ignored.

Which it often is today doesn't mean it's not serious. It is serious. Paul insists on them on these instructions. What we've just heard. Calling God and the angels to witness. Timothy has been warned.

In other words, it's a solemn. Now we've been warned the great reformer John Calvin preached about this. The man who was not shaken out of his carelessness and laziness. We have a lot of that about the church today.

Carelessness, you know, they don't pay attention to what the word says laziness. They don't they didn't spend the time to think of these and these things. The man is not.

Shaken I.

Charge you in the sight of God and of Christ and of the angels. She's shaking us. The man is not shaken out of his carelessness and laziness by the thought that the government of the church is Conducted under the eye of God and his angels.

Must be worse than stupid and have a heart harder than stone. He's right. Prevention he says Paul says in verse 22 is better than cure.

You know, it's.

Elder sin. They'll they have to be disciplined. How are you going to avoid having wrong men as elders. Men whose sins will only appear after. Especially some of those men sins will Only appear after some time.

If that's the case then it's better to wait and watch. Don't jump to make some young man an elder just because he may be successful. It is career or because he's a doctor or a lawyer got a good income.