August 27, 2019 Show with Alan Dunn on “Gospel Intimacy in a Godly Marriage” (Part 2)

Live from the historic parsonage of the 19th century gospel minister George Norcross in downtown, Carlisle, Pennsylvania. It's iron sharpens iron. This is a radio platform in which pastors Christian scholars and theologians address the burning issues facing the church and the world today.

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Proverbs chapter 27 verse 17 tells us. Iron sharpens iron so one man sharpens another. Matthew Henry said that in this passage We are cautioned to take heed with whom we converse and directed to have in view in conversation To make one another wiser and better.

It is our hope that this goal will be accomplished over the next two hours. And we hope to hear from you the listener with your own questions, and now here's your host Chris Arnzen.

Good afternoon, Cumberland County, Pennsylvania. Lake City, Florida. And the rest of humanity living on the planet Earth. We're listening via live streaming at iron sharpens iron radio .com. This is Chris Arnzen your host of iron sharpens iron radio.

Wishing you all a happy Tuesday on this 27th day of August 2019. And I'm thrilled to have back on the program a returning guest who is going to be addressing Part two of a discussion that we began eight days ago on Monday August 19th.

I'm speaking of pastor Alan Dunn of Grace Covenant Baptist Church of Flemington, New Jersey, and We are addressing his book Gospel intimacy and a godly marriage and as I said this is part two of our discussion.

And it's my honor and privilege to welcome you back to iron sharpens iron radio pastor Alan Dunn. Thank you Chris for those of our listeners who did not hear your interview eight days ago. And who have not heard of you before.

Grace Covenant Baptist Church and the Question of Church Size

Wanting to tell our listeners about Grace Covenant Baptist Church of Flemington, New Jersey.

But we are and we hold to the London Baptist Confession 1689 in Flemington, New Jersey that copies feet of a hundred and County. We've been together now. All I've and were many of us were together for some time prior to that Evidencing what we believe to be dwelling in our midst at Court Street in In Flemington for anyone who may be in the vicinity.

One thing that always pops into my head, and I'm sure you would concur with this is That far too many people put far too much emphasis on The numeric size of a congregation they think the bigger the better.

The smaller the worse. There must be something wrong with that church if it's small there. They must not have a zeal for evangelism. There must be something crazy going on there. But isn't it true that very often you will have a group of? Biblically faithful people who take seriously the Word of God.

They don't compromise. They don't cater to the lost surroundings to their their congregation by providing music and sermons that will appeal to the hearts and minds of lost people in order to draw them in and therefore very often such Faithful churches like that remain numerically small.

I don't mean to bash some of our huge churches in the United States like Grace Community Church and Sun Valley, California where John MacArthur is the pastor, and you have many other churches that are quite large in fact the church Where you're that where you will be?

Conducting your marriage conference. Trinity Baptist Church of Montville has always been considered a mega church for Reformed Baptists. But if you could let me know what your response to what I just said it.

Yeah, I you know the the numerical of the congregation In any given situation certainly can ebb and flow. Now there are a congregation that That perhaps isn't characteristic of a larger church often some of the blessing more intimate grouping.

Group ministries stations to how many hands are on different context? I think you've got and negatives they're going to give an account. That thought makes me thankful that the amen and.

I just want to let our listeners know we will be repeating this later God willing, but the website for Grace Covenant Baptist Church in Flemington, New Jersey is GC BC NJ dot Squarespace calm. That's GC for Grace Covenant BC for Baptist Church NJ for New Jersey Dot Squarespace calm and by the way Squarespace you spell out those words Squarespace.

I confused a friend the other day who thought that that was actually a key on the keypad of His computer. Squarespace, where's the Squarespace key? I don't see them. It's not okay. It's a word but anyway.

Redemption and the Shape of Marital Intimacy

Well, I am very happy that we are continuing our conversation because we really barely put a dent in it last time on Gospel intimacy and a godly marriage and If you could we touched on it a bit last time, but why don't you further expand?

An explanation of The doctrine of redemption and how it how it directs our journey into marital intimacy.

Well, one of the honors to emphasize that I mean to believing You know to believers who are married that they are committed to love one another from Christ himself. Fine first to that love. We're not limited.

Found life inherited from our forefathers as Peter says in Christ find in terms of his death and Resurrection by whereby to be made of is to be the practical dynamic operative in the relationship of the husband and the wife and.

The reason that that is so necessary is because the greatest dynamic of sin and that is with who we are in as image of God created male and female of course since husbands are.

To love their wives as Paul tells us and Just as Christ laid down his life for the church and gave himself up for her There is something that God intended to picture in a marriage that.

Is deeply connected with redemption, isn't it? Yeah, you know. Teeth are both naked and unashamed. And and and that that image of marriage. Him in Genesis 2 1617 concerning the tree of the knowledge of good and evil to his wife upon God fashioning of her the man really in obedience to the world in Genesis.

Amazing later. And I believe in verse 17. Indicates they even had its relationship and the result of sin in the marriage. Maybe we'll talk about. We have to fight that of course. The place of marriage and the gospel Christ being the husband as you may reference alluding to Ephesians 5.

The nature of his love Revelation 21 the bride of Christ coming down from heaven. And these wonderful rich metaphors now all come to their consummated fulfillment in the resurrection. The garden now is the brand.

The next part of your book that deals with gospel intimacy is.

That.

Marriable marital intimacy and the grace of The gospel of love or the grace of gospel love.

It.

Challenges the married couples to or toward gospel love if you could further. Expand upon that. I know that somebody I believe asked during the last interview or. Perhaps it was just a spoken statement rather than a question, but I remember somebody referring to the fact that.

That.

There would be.

Far more.

Arguments and splits and anger and perhaps even Bordering on hate in Marriages if we both the husband and the wife were to constantly recall to our memories what Christ forgave us for and We very often don't do that we just want to demand our rights we want to receive what we think we should deserve in a marriage and The the wife very often says well I'm not going to submit until my husband truly leads like a Christian man.

And the man says I'm not going to truly lead like A Christian man until my wife submits and then there's a standoff all that kind of thing.

But if you could expand on that of that of what you just Said there Chris in regard to that headship submission dynamic because I think they're in and maintain balance and in that dynamic and We're vulnerable to imbalance because of the impact of sin.

But the backing up before that the challenge that that we face in marriage challenge of intimacy. In in my book I mentioned on the one hand and we get married. Because we want to be intimate did we want to be embraced we want to be loved we.

We we and we desire to have that profound intimacy and union with another person God has made us. On the other hand we often we often find ourselves saying shooting on me I don't want you to set intimacy and yet runs from that intimacy because there's this realization hey I'm I'm being expired habits which are being Explorers.

Be uncomfortable because it's the realization that there are things about me that are not for to conscience the of another conscience and the potential for Offense you when you dig deep into yourself you you discover the Pockets of remaining sin that can what is the enemy of gospel love?

Well again specifically the enemy of gospel love and I fear ups many Different reasons that converge to to make us somewhat allergic even to the word sin. We don't like to talk about sin. We we couch different language and different terms and different phraseology.

And we we need to call sin sin and and and John makes it very clear in first John that that sin is lawlessness and and we have to be able to identify Sin as a violation of God's law and you make mention may mention earlier in marriages for Anger kind of which is all circling around.

Really? It's circling around the sixth commandment. You shall not murder it and it's it's it's absolutely stunning when you realize that men against when he tells the Russian cherish his wife's and of the Self and went on on back to the house and as if he was watching her you love that woman not forgive me.

It's where my biggest struggle. We have the gospel.

Amen, well, well, let's move into being a gospel lover. Tell us about that.

Yeah, well that basically described in schism the dynamic of love in the local church primarily. But these principles of course and the first is the posture the disposition and as mentioned earlier Chris I mean if we were if we were to stop every annoyance, he wouldn't get out of first fast at all.

It's since there has to be Forbearance that doesn't that doesn't take every flight as an opportunity to go to war. So the other disposition or certainly forbearance requires action of words, but forgiveness and I my forbearance Mechanisms are not are not working here and this thing this whatever it is.

Causing us to post what God is united in creation life and so to the dynamic of Forgiveness and tend to light there may have to be the admonition on the part of one. Pointing out area of our X will be good at at Einstein.

Confessing opportunity to learn and to grow our intimacy because you exercise muscles. Amen, and we're going to our first break right now.

If anybody would like to join us on the air with a question of your own for pastor Alan Dunn Regarding marriage our email address is Chris Arnzen at gmail .com. Chris ar n ze n gmail .com. Please as always at least give us your first name your city and state and your country of residence if you live outside the USA and Only remain anonymous if your question involves a personal and private matter.

And I can understand. With a topic like gospel intimacy in a godly marriage. Whenever you have marriage as a theme in any way there may be very deep and personal questions. You might have some very painful perhaps and we wouldn't even want you to identify yourself in those cases, but.

If it's not a personal and private matter though. If it's just a general question a biblical question on marriage. A theological question on marriage. Doctrinal question on marriage. Please Give us at least your first name your city and state in your country of residence if you live outside the USA.

So don't go away. We will be right back with more of pastor Alan Dunn right after these messages from our sponsor. As host of iron sharpens. Iron radio. I frequently get requests from listeners for church recommendations.

A church I've been strongly recommending as far back as the 1980s is Grace Covenant Baptist Church in Flemington, New Jersey pastored by Alan Dunn. Grace Covenant Baptist Church believes it's God's prerogative to determine how he shall be worshiped and how he shall be represented in the world.

They believe churches need to turn to the Bible to discover what to include in worship and how to worship God in spirit and truth. Grace Covenant Baptist Church endeavors to maintain a God-centered focus reading preaching and hearing the Word of God singing psalms hymns and spiritual songs.

Baptism and communion are the scriptural elements of their corporate worship performed with faith joy and sobriety. Discover more about Grace Covenant Baptist Church in Flemington, New Jersey at GC BCNJ dot Squarespace dot-com.

That's GC BCNJ dot Squarespace dot-com. Or call them at nine zero eight nine nine six seven six five four. That's nine zero eight nine nine six seven six five four. Tell Pastor Dunn that you heard about Grace Covenant Baptist Church on iron sharpens iron radio.

Marriage, Gospel Forgiveness, and the Transaction of Grace

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We are discussing part two of Gospel intimacy in a godly marriage a topic we began on the 19th of August eight days ago. And if you have any questions our email address is Chris Arnzen at gmail .com C-h-r-i-s-a-r-n-z-e-n-a-g-mail .com.

Please as always give us your first name your city and state in your country of residence. If you live outside the USA and only remain anonymous if your question involves a personal and private matter before we move on.

With any questions from me or from our listeners pastor Dunn tell us about the couples conference coming up at Trinity Baptist Church in Montville, New Jersey.

The Couples Conference at Trinity Baptist Church

Yeah to begin on.

On.

Friday night and then they the ministry of the world is scheduled and then a still a brief ministry and Monday September the 2nd that will precede a Labor Day event. Concerning the detail can be found at Trinity Baptist Church web page on online.

Great, and do you happen to have that handy that that website? You know I should. Well, that's all right. We can we could have you announce it later and if you could please let Pastor Chansky know that.

I would love to have him return as a guest on iron trip and design radio. It's been a long time since I've interviewed him, and I'd love to have him back.

Yeah, yeah, I'm. I Will try to communicate that message to him. Oh, I'll see him. God willing this weekend. And he's also scheduled to to fill in in my pulpit in my absence this coming Lord's Day. So I know that our path will certainly cross.

Praise God. Well, I have a question for you. If anything would be a buzzkill or something that would completely.

Rob.

Romance from a situation with a spouse is by using the word transaction, but Let me ask you about the transaction of gospel.

Envisioned to be An exchange, you know I've called it in the past an exchange of gospel words I'm bringing to I want to do business here. Those things that comprise and in so do to do at that point is to Christians Is to reconfirm our identity in Christ defied by grace through our identity together Forgiven by faith reunion with Christ commitment to honor him in our marriage.

And so we touch base at the foundation of that. She said my cutting mother than the violation the sixth commandment. That's wrong on my part. I want from my wife to the transact forgiveness not to an emotionally sinning against you and you are to expect the dynamic of spiritual vitality in their relationship.

Surely not cutting now. I know that.

The first Corinthians 13 has been. Perhaps especially in the lives and marriages or should I say even weddings?

Of.

Non-believers, it has been a hallmark and people don't people don't realize that the Context of that is far broader than just for a wedding or a marriage. But having said that there is an important Aspect or teaching from that Text about love keeps no record of wrongs.

And I know that in your section on the transaction of gospel of you are forbidding vengeance and and Tell us about that because I think that An argument between Spouses very often the old dirt is flung up and also perhaps give us some counsel on on When and when not that is to be brought up?

Let let me give you an example. Let's say a husband Has a drinking problem and yeah, you know he has had in his history moments where he is going off to Bars and he has gotten into trouble. He's gotten into fights and of course the wife Months later catches him drinking again and is she not to bring that up?

But that's just one thought that is attached to keeping no record of wrongs and also No vengeance involved.

Yeah, keeping no record. We're not naive. We don't forget I mean in the sense that if we're dealing with family as David prey on what is wrong in my son of adultery Context of God responds to sin in wrath and that and that we image that in.

As image bearers when when we are morally offended when we oh, you know something that is wrong in some ways that if we sense of being victimized by that wrong, but we would we chance of anger is offended and and you know and and.

And that's an image-bearing dimension. Well. What does God do with he's angry with it. Solution of his anger one. Unmitigated wrath upon impenitent. That's the God who meets them in wrath without any mediator with other place up against and is in the cross if we see the sin in relation we're given of her shade in the cross and.

There's word ends there see them in in the context of eternity and hell. Relative to the eternal wrath of God and treaty. And and and prayer long in the sense that we're not going to retaliate. We're not going to have Vengeance righteousness of God evil with that's not to say that you know and so forth that that we can.

We have an anonymous listener. Who asks the last time pastor done was on your program? When asked if he believed that a person who divorces his spouse Could that person ever remarry that same spouse. And Pastor done replied that that would be on under many circumstances.

Acceptable if my memory serves me right. But I don't remember anyone asking the question that I am asking now. Does pastor done believe in the remarriage of? Someone who is divorced to someone else other than their first spouse.

So you're asking me is the Bible a lot. Yeah, that's. That's basically what what the anonymous person is asking. Yes.

Yeah, I believe in fact. I want you to pick up when we return from our midway break with that very.

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