Sunday Morning Sermon Series - Dysfunctional Family Part 5 (Date: 05/23/2021)

If you can turn with me to Psalms 51. This is the last of a five-part series on grace over dysfunction. We've been talking for the last five weeks about how God's grace can overcome dysfunction in family.

The Reality of Dysfunction in Every Family

Now, just a quick review so that we can all be on the same page. Remember, there is no perfect family. There is no perfect family. I have sometimes people say, I wish my family could be like yours, Pastor.

Listen, I got as much dysfunction in my family as you do in yours. It may come out a little bit differently, but I married my wife. There was the first mistake right there. And we went downhill from there.

The first three years of our marriage was a living nightmare. It truly was. I didn't know how to be a husband and, well, she's a woman. And it was just miserable. Absolutely miserable. What? Amen. Thank the Lord.

Guys, here's another thing. We will take what we think is perfection from a secular or a humanist standpoint and try to apply it to some sort of veneer cultural Christianity. Here's what I mean by that.

When we hear the Word of God, now just remember, this is history. This stuff really happened. These aren't Bible stories. This is not a book of moral lessons. This is the Word of the living God recording human history.

And it's so beautiful because it validates itself. Here's what I mean. When we look at characters in the Bibles, how many preachers or Sunday school teachers have you heard say, well, this story in the Bible.

There's no stories, guys. It's reality. But when we look at these people, we superimpose their character traits that are positive because we need stories to have a good guy and a bad guy. The reality is, in Scripture, there are no good guys.

There aren't. We want to sit there and say, oh, I wish I could be like David, or I wish David was a scumbag, Abraham was a racist liar. You go through all of Scripture, they were godless heathens. Now, how does that validate it?

Because right now in 2020, where are we, 2021, we are all godless heathens too. The same total depravity that existed back then still exists today. But we can praise God today for this as well. The same grace of God that saved Abraham, it's the same grace of God that can still save us today.

And that's important for us to understand. Now, when you read Psalms 51, you may just read it in your little holly hobby Bibles as a cute little Bible story of hope and encouragement. This is an altar call.

That's what Psalms 51 is. It is a man who has come to the end of his rope, who has been called out by God time and time again for continual sin, and he comes to a point in his life where he says this, I'm done, God, you take over.

David’s Sin, Delay, and Descent into Fear

Now, in Acts and in the Old Testament, David is called a man after God's own heart. But when we see David, we see a man who is totally filthy and depraved. Now, most people in here will know about his, here's what I hear people say, his moral failure.

It wasn't moral failure, it was adultery and murder. David, a man after God's own heart, committed adultery and committed murder. But we hear people, and I've even read in Bible commentaries, David's one discretion.

Now, the last few weeks we have looked at that David had more than one indiscretion. I'm going to ask you, and if you have these pieces of paper right here, if you have these pieces of paper right here, I'm going to prove this a little to you before we go into Psalms 51.

Remember, as I talked to you in 1 Samuel chapter 27, David has been anointed king by God. Now, Saul is still on the throne, but God's fixing to take care of that. But we see in 1 Samuel 27, we see David again falling away from God.

How many of y 'all's spiritual life looks like this? Mine don't. Mine looks like this. You know, it's like a bottle rocket, man. David's was like that too. Please do not turn the people of God's Word into some sort of super-Christian, because here's what you're going to do.

You're going to try to emulate that, and you'll get more focused on religion than you will a relationship with Jesus Christ. Look here in chapter 27 of 1 Samuel, and you can turn with me if you want, but I'm just going to read to you.

David said to himself, one of these days I will be swept away by Saul. There is nothing better for me than to escape immediately into the land of the Philistines. Here's the reality of what David did.

Number one, up until this point, a lot of the Psalms in the book of Psalms had been written by David. And they were Psalms of praises and Psalms of hope and Psalms of glory and Psalms of God. But at a point in his life, he got tired of trying to do the right thing, and instead of talking to God, it says in chapter 27, he started talking to himself.

Can you identify with that? And then it says this, one of these days I'm going to be swept away by Saul. Guys, depression in America today is growing because we are so focused on self. Everything in our culture tells us to look at ourselves.

It tells us to be understanding of ourselves, to love ourselves, to choose your own gender nowadays. Guys, let me tell you something. I know I'm going to offend some folks here. I know in TV land I'm going to offend you too.

There are two genders according to Genesis. And God made man both male and female. It isn't up to your interpretation. But you say, I feel. See, you're looking at your feelings, your comprehension, your understanding.

But when you go outside of God's word, all that's going to do is promote more insecurity, more bitterness, and you're going to become a very angry individual. Trust me. But anyways, we'll keep going. So God, David's sitting there going, one day I'm going to be swept away by Saul.

You know what that is? Depression also breeds this, fear and panic of the future. You have no trust in God. You want to trust in yourself to be your own man. But that doesn't work, does it? Because you realize the limitations of what you are.

Oh, on the outside, you've got it all together. On the outside, you're the perfect little Southern Baptist Christian. But on the inside, you're full of dead men's bones. You're hurting. You're scared.

You're fearful. You have nothing but guilt and fear and shame. God's this far away. Your prayers don't get further than the ceiling. All that other garbage. Because you're looking to yourself and your works to know the grace of God.

And here's what's even sadder. You'll pass that on to your children and grandchildren. You'll repent in your heart, but you won't repent in real life. And so you continue to hand off that insecurity. This is what David's doing.

Now notice this. It also says this. David got to a point in his life where he said, I'm going to go live with the Philistines. He was being chased by Saul. And up until this point, he had been trusting in God for everything.

But now he got sick and tired of it. He got sick and tired of waiting on God. God had already said, you're going to be king over Israel. And David was like, well, when, God? It's taking forever. So he said, I'm done with this.

I'm going to go live with the enemy. Guys, a lot of our children today are living with the enemy. You know why? Because we in the church as parents and grandparents have failed to publicly repent of our sins.

We just slide over it and hope, well, that was in the past. It's going to go away. Repentance is an outward action, a changing of your mind and a changing of your heart that will lead to a changing of actions.

But we don't do it. We don't do it. We'll sit there at the end of the service while other people are coming down here getting right with God. We'll look up some stupid screen, grab the back of the chair, and half-heartedly sing the song in oblivion of the conviction God is calling us to change.

We don't want to do that. We don't want to humble ourselves. We don't want to come to a point in our life where someone else sees our dirty laundry because we're too busy being little Mr. and Mrs. Baptists and we pass on the insecurity and the fear to our children.

Now, you know what David did when he went to the Philistines? You know what he did? He goes to the Philistine king and says, Hey, listen, you know who I am? Yeah, I killed your Goliath. That's right. I whooped him.

You know who I am? I have 600 men at my command. Give me a small little town to live in because I'm sick of Israel. I'm coming over to your side. Y 'all ever done that with the world? You played there for so long, you decide to join up?

Mm-hmm. So David does that. Now, this is that little, you know, guy, some of y 'all grew up in the little felt board, little stories in the little Bible school, that, you know, the white guy with blonde hair, that Jew.

Guys, that guy, you know what he did while he lived there? He went and found the weakest villages all over southern Philistia and southern Israel and attacked them. You know why? Because he wanted money.

He got tired of waiting on God to give him the kingship, so he decided on his own he was going to make a war chest and hire an army to take Israel's throne by force. And this is what scripture said David did.

It says he raided these people. Now, you know what that word raided means in Hebrew? It means stripping the dead of valuables. David went in and killed every man, woman, child, baby, dog, everything. This is super Christian, guys.

Killed everybody because they were home. That's how bad he got. He repented. He got right. He became king of Israel. If you look, he danced with all of his might before the Lord. He praised God so his spiritual life was doing this, right?

And he's just, God gave him the kingship and he brought the Ark of the Covenant to Israel, to Jerusalem. He took over Jerusalem and became his king. By the way, if you have any questions about the Palestinian-Israel argument, go reread 1 Samuel.

There is no questions in God's mind who that land belongs to. But that's another story for another time. But now listen, he's king over Israel. And one night he's sitting there and he says, Guys, I want you to go invade.

His whole life as king, as a leader, was to be in front of his troops wherever they went. But for now, he's doing this again in his spiritual life. And he decides, you troops go and fight for me. Leaders, men, pastors, ministers, fathers, husbands.

If you're wanting your kids to do right, if you're wanting your families to do right, and you're not out in front and leading them, you're in the chair with a remote control not doing nothing, if you want your kids to grow up to be godly individuals, but all you're doing is coasting through life, feeding your own self-interest, wave bye to them, because they're going to be gone.

David sent his troops to fight a battle when he should have been in front leading them, but he decided to stay home. And when he stayed home, he was sitting out one night, and he goes, Man, check out that chick, Bathsheba.

She was looking good, and she was taking a bath. I always found that funny. I didn't grow up in church, Bathsheba bath. Anyways, she's taking a bath one night, and he goes, Hey, who is that chick? And they said, Oh, that's Bathsheba.

He goes, Bring her to the palace. I need to have a talk with her. So him and Bathsheba, they talked, man. He put his mule on, and she walked in the throne room, and David says, How are you doing, baby?

And he flexed them pecs, you know, and they did stuff. Well, she got pregnant. Now, I always hear preachers say something like this, that Bathsheba was this innocent victim. Bull, bull, okay? But we'll talk about that some other time.

So she gets pregnant. David does this. Hmm. Now, remember, this is a man after God's own heart. Hmm. Have her husband come home from the army. So Uriah comes home, and he goes, Hey, go sleep with your wife.

Take some time off. Relax. Uriah ends up sleeping at the door of the palace because he said it's unhonorable while my brothers are in the field fighting for me to go sit in my recliner and sleep with my wife.

That's unhonorable. By the way, men, that's the guy we need to be emulating, not David. So Uriah has all this character and honor. The next day, David goes, Why didn't you go sleep with your wife? He tells him, It's not right that I should be in comfort when my brothers are in the field.

So David goes, Huh. So he writes a letter, and he basically tells Uriah, Take this letter. Don't read it. Don't read it. Take this letter to the commander, Joab. So he takes it to the commander, Joab, and he says, Hey, this is from David.

Joab opens it up and goes, Huh. And this is what David told him. Hey, this Uriah guy, he's a good guy. He's a good guy. Go ahead and have him lead the attack, and right when he engages, pull everybody else back.

Joab had an order from the king. Now, people always talk about David killing Uriah. Uriah had 50 guys with him under his command, his platoon. David sacrificed them all. Not just Uriah. Sacrificed them all to cover up the lie.

So Uriah is now dead. So then quickly when news hits the kingdom, David goes, Hey, Bathsheba, let's get married. They get married, and they make it right under the wire. Nine months. This is David. The man after God's own heart.

Man after God's own heart. Now, his rebellion wasn't for nine months. His rebellion was for years. How are y 'all doing in your spiritual life? Well, Brother Jeff, it's been a long time. God's done with me.

Oh yeah? Really? Yeah. Okay. Wrong. So here's today's message. Psalms 51. When David was finally busted, when he finally came to his senses, for the first time in years, he actually prayed. And this is what he prayed.

Read with me Psalms 51. I know that's a long opening, but you've got to understand it. Psalms 51, it says this, and I wrote the whole thing out, or I typed it out for you on the back of your paper if you don't have the Word of God with you.

Grace, Repentance, and the Prayer of Psalm 51

David says this. This is his prayer. God, I've messed up for years. God, I'm a godless pig. This is my prayer. Be gracious to me, God. According to Your faithful love and according to Your abundant compassion, blot out my rebellion.

Ladies and gentlemen, the first thing you need to understand today is if you want forgiveness based on your works, you're never going to get it. You see, grace comes to us not by our works. Grace comes to us by God and God alone.

Look at what David says. According to what? What is my worth in forgiveness, God? I have nothing to offer You. So according to Your faithful love and according to Your abundant compassion, God, that's why I'm coming to You today.

Ladies and gentlemen, if you try to change your life without repenting, you will never change. You cannot overcome the sin in your life without the grace of God first. You can't work to find grace. You've got to receive grace and then from there work.

You have to understand that. You hear me? Are you all with me? This ain't a sermon, guys. This ain't a church lesson. This isn't a little Bible study. This is the facts and the keys to your hope in this life.

If it doesn't start with grace, you're never going to find the forgiveness that you're looking for. Look at this. It says in verse 2, wash away my guilt. Guys, are you more concerned with guilt or with sin?

David's first thing was blot out my sin. Then let's worry about the guilt. Guys, listen to me. God does not use the emotion of guilt to convict you. If you feel guilty about something, you will continue to feel guilty about it for the rest of your life.

Guys, it's grace first. In other words, worry about the reality of sin and then God will take care of the emotion of shame. If you get those backwards and keep working on the emotions, you're never going to find the reality to get the core out to find the forgiveness that you're looking for.

Am I making sense? Are y 'all out there today? Guys, listen to me. This is not a little sermon, okay? This is the reality to find the hope and peace and grace that you're looking for. I do 30 counseling appointments a week.

I get calls from people all over the world and they're all seeking the same thing, peace. You want peace with God and then from there you can find peace in life. This is the, I'm telling you, this is the blueprint for that.

Look at this. Watch this. Wash me from my guilt and cleanse me from my sin for I am conscious of my rebellion and my sin is always before me. How many of y 'all want to praise God with all of your heart but you're so focused on your failures you can't really see?

You're scared of emotion. I have a guy who sits there and goes, Pastor, I can't raise my hands. I can't worship God. I feel weird. It's not the feeling weird is the problem. You feel unworthy. You feel awkward because the emotion attended with worship.

Guys, listen to me. Gratefulness is worship. Worship is not an emotional thing until you understand grace first. In other words, you're never going to be able to worship God in spirit and truth as John 4, 24 says until you understand the grace of God.

If you're always ashamed of your past failures, you're never going to be able to express the joy that you have for God giving you the hope of eternal life. Does that make sense? All right. Are y 'all still with me, right?

Are y 'all bored yet? I mean, I can sing and dance up here. Okay. But guys, I'm not here to entertain you. Okay. I'm here trying to give you the same hope that I found 30 years ago. All right. It changed my life forever.

But anyways, hold on. Against you, verse 4, against you and you alone, and have sinned and done this evil in your sight. What's talking about? David, have you done smoke crack? What do you mean against God and God alone?

You took a man's wife, killed him, and everyone that followed him. You murdered thousands of people and only God against God have you sinned? David, put down the pipe. Call now. Get help. Guys, do you realize that every single sin you commit against someone else is really ultimately rebellion against God?

See, you want to take care of the symptoms rather than treat the problem. Well, I'm an alcoholic. I need to... No, you're rebellious against God. Well, I'm not treating my wife right. You're rebellion against God.

Quit trying to treat the symptoms and treat the core of the problem. You have failed to repent to a holy and righteous God. Well, Brother Jeff, I feel that. I don't care what your feelings are. I don't care.

Well, I feel that, or I think, go home, take two baby aspirin, and have your mama pat you on the head because that's what you're looking for. I'm talking about repenting face first before a holy and righteous God.

To fall in fear of disrespecting God, you have more respect for peoples than you do God. That's your problem. Listen to me. You need to understand that everything we do ultimately goes back to rebellion against God.

Are you with me? Now, here's David sitting here, and it says, so you are right when you pass sentence. Peoples. Are you one of those folks that you'll accept the reality of punishment, but at the end of the day, you know deep down inside you don't deserve it?

Do you know today, children, husbands, wives, people are rebellion not against sin, not against the love of the... They're a rebellion of anyone holding them accountable. Churches today are there for a show and entertainment.

God created the church for help. Now, come here, especially some of you snowflakes. Come here. Part of that help is getting your butt kicked sometimes. If you're one of those people that, well, my spiritual life is between me and God, you are the individual who's going to spend the rest of your life defeated in sin because I'm here to tell you, your brothers and sisters in Christ are here to hold you accountable.

Yes, we're here to bound up your wounds, but this isn't a holly hobby hippie commune, okay? If you are living in sin and your brother and sister do not call you out on it, listen, do not call you out on it.

According to Jeremiah, it says God will require their blood at your hands. Do you realize the level of accountability God calls on his people? It actually will hold you responsible for your brother and sister's failure, responsible as in you failed to warn them if you let them continue in sin.

Yeah. Well, Brother Jeff, I feel... Stop talking to me about feelings. That's your problem. Repent, for the kingdom of God is here and now. All right, watch this. Watch, watch, watch, watch. Verse 5. How many of y 'all...

What's total depravity? What's total depravity? Listen to me. Total depravity is this. You know why there's racism in the world? Because we don't understand God's doctrines, right? Watch this. According to God's Word, it's this.

100 of mankind is 100 sinful, right? Here's what we try to do. Well, black folks, they're a little bit more sinful than us because they, you know... Well, she doesn't. But, you know, them ghetto folks, them redneck folks, they're a little bit worse.

Those folks in jail, well, they're worse than me. Those child molesters, they're worse than me. That person, well, they're worse than me. Listen to me. Listen to me. That kind of thinking is what got us to where we are today.

It is the bane and destruction of every core being of who and what we are when we try to come together. We try to put people in camps. Listen, I'm a licensed ordained senior pastor. And what you hear me preach, I really live out.

The way I am here is the way I am at home. That's who I really am. And the street walking whore on Jackson Avenue and I are on the same level. Book it. And so are you. So are you. And until you come to that place where you understand that, you will never experience the grace and peace of God.

If you keep looking to your works and your life to validate your salvation, you are going to be a miserable individual. Are you with me? Okay, watch what David says. Now, this is the man after God's own heart.

Verse 5. Read. Total depravity. Here we go. It says, Indeed, I was guilty when I was born. I was sinful when my mother conceived me. Well, I don't sin. Children are innocent. You've never had children then.

They are the most self-centered. They are the most selfish individuals on the planet. They're the worst than Kardashians. And that's bad. That's bad. Right? Guys, listen to me. You have no hope without Christ.

It's not the individual sins you commit. You're not a sinner because you sin. In other words, you sin because you were born a sinner. You, from the word go, were in sin. Guys, this is what David's finally coming to realize.

I have no hope. Look at verse 6. I'm almost done. Surely you would desire integrity in the innermost parts. Guys, listen to me. Religion has sent more people to hell than all the drugs in the world. And here's why.

Because religion wants you to look, act, smell, talk, and walk just like this. If you're Church of God, it can be a little bit like this. If you're Catholic, it can be a little bit like this. If you're Methodist, it can be a little bit like this.

You know, right? Sorry. I've seen too many United Methodist churches. If you're Baptist, it's going to be like, y 'all are wrong. If you're Church of Christ, it's we're the only ones. Right? Religion wants you to look, act, walk, and talk.

That's why legalism will kill you and your children. Right? Because at the end of the day, even when you achieve it, you don't have peace. So you feel like you're missing something else. So let's make another rule.

And another one. And another one. And you will never find the peace of God through man-made outward rules. Look what David says. He finally comes to a realization where God, you don't want integrity on the outside first.

You want it on the inside. And the outside actions will be a result of the inside change. You with me? So some of you Christians that grew up in church, you don't cuss, smoke, or drink. But inside, you're full of dead man's bones.

You don't have that peace and that grace. It's because you're relying on religion rather than the grace of God to give you the deliverance. You have no power. You have no worship. You have nothing. And you still keep chasing man's laws to find the peace that still eludes you.

Come to a place where David did finally. God, you want the inside of me, not the outside. The outside follows the inside. Look at this right here. Almost done. Watch this. Purge me with hyssop. A whole other sermon.

I ain't got time for it. And I will be clean. Wash me and I will be whiter than snow. Here we go. Listen. Let me hear the joy and gladness. Let the bones you have crushed rejoice. Guys, some of you want to mimic joy in your worship.

Let's try. I've been there. Okay. I didn't read this out of a book. I've lived it. It's still, sometimes, still live it to be honest with you. In other words, you want to manufacture an emotion. People, when they come to church, they want to cry.

They want to feel good. You're chasing the wrong thing. Watch what David says. He sits there and says, let joy and gladness be back in my life. How many of you have not felt the joy of God in your life in years?

Man, y 'all are super Christians. God, I feel like I need to resign. Y 'all need to preach. I've been there. Was there three months ago. Was there before that about two years ago. It stinks. Sucks. And you'll be there for a long time until you repent.

Guys, look at verse 9. Turn your face away from my sin and blot out my guilt. Verse 10. Here's the culmination. God, create a clean heart for me and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Oh, man. How many of y 'all have ever created something?

Some of y 'all are raising your hands. I'm glad you didn't say anything because I'm about to embarrass you. We've all said that before. Well, I created a new life. In my womb is a new creation. No. No.

I'll explain 9th grade biology to you if you need me to. But a widdle sperm and a widdle egg got together. They were pre-existing matter. The only person who has ever created anything is God. Ex nihilo is the Latin.

Creation has to be from nothing something. Everything else is made. Like a work of art. I created a work of art. No, you didn't. You put a bunch of paint or drawings and rearranged them on some sort of medium.

And some idiot paid you $500 ,000 to fit in with the Joneses. That's what happened. Well, I created this song. You didn't create nothing. Nothing. David, now watch this. He's already a Christian. He's already walked down an aisle and said, Jesus Christ with heart, Lord, Savior.

Right? He's already done that. Multiple times. Right? And he realizes that he needs to do it again. God, I'm so broken. I've been so far away from you. God, I can't be fixed. I can only be created. God, take me and totally redo me.

Don't care what I have to lose. Don't care what I have to do. God, recreate me. That's the doctrine of regeneration, guys. I'm going to be preaching on that in a couple months. But I want you to understand this today.

I have prayed this prayer hundreds of times in my life.