Biblical Counseling (part 5)

A loving Father, we commit this time into your hands. Help us, O Lord, to love one another. Help us to trust You and Your Word. And help us to both live in light of the Gospel, and to be able to minister to those who are in need.

In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Alright, so my goal today, this week and next week, is to finish the material that we have in the handout. The handout is mostly like a methodology. What should you be thinking of as you're counseling one another, as you're looking to counsel yourself, in light of either sin that you are struggling with, or suffering that the Lord has brought into your lives.

The Love, Know, Speak, Do Method in Biblical Counseling

In both of these circumstances, these are the problems that come into our lives. How do we find the help we need in the time of need? So that's biblical counseling. So we've looked at this, most of you on your first sheet, you should see this thing, by now you'll probably memorize this.

Love, know, speak, do. You begin by loving one another, caring for the person who is going through suffering, being involved in their lives, and providing them hope. Then we talked about knowing. So you take a little inventory of what is really around this problem that they are facing, and then find some data that will help you process what really is at the heart of this person's situation.

And today we'll continue with step four, which is interpretation. Which is, now that you have the data, how do you process it? What do you do with it, as a believer? And I'm going to focus this more on the inward.

Like, how do you help yourself, as a believer, with the word of God and the spirit of God? And that will apply just as well for people that you're ministering to. And then the next two sections, you know, love, know, speak, and do.

Speaking is the key part of biblical counseling, where you're instructing the person. That's the first step. Hopefully we'll touch that as well today. And then the remaining three steps, inducing or getting the person to move forward, implementing what are some practical steps that you do with the counsel of the word of God, and then integration.

How does this person move from being just a person who has been dealing with sin or under the weight of suffering to someone who is out there ministering with the power of God, with the joy of the Lord, and helping others who may be facing similar circumstances also.

So our goal is not just to address the problem, but get past that to discover God and his power that we can both experience in our lives and minister to in other people's lives. So with that, let me pause.

If anybody had anything that you, through this past week, where you got to apply this for yourself or others, or you want to share, feel free to do that. Yes. Isn't that wonderful? I hope all of you could hear.

We are thankful that the Lord did answer our entreaties to have you back with us. I lost a cousin to COVID this past week, and we know the Lord is good in all he does when he restores and when he takes away.

But as you were talking, I was just remembering the whole Paul's emphasis in Corinthians was, we have received God's grace in the midst of our afflictions, in order that we may minister God's grace to those who are going through similar, so we can comfort them, help them, give them hope, the right kind of hope.

Thanks for sharing. Any other examples? Thank you. So we're going to continue with interpretation. And in this section, so it's, I think, page five on your handouts, once again, we've gotten the data from the inventory, and now we want to understand the biblical nature and cause of the problem, in order to be able to explain that to the counselee.

In this particular case, I'm going to keep it focused on the self. We're going to look at, for ourselves, how do we interpret this? So let me begin with section A. Actually, let me read the whole thing.

Promote biblical change by analyzing and organizing the information from the inventory phase to accurately identify the biblical nature and cause of the problem and to convincingly explain this to the counselee.

You know, if you are not convinced about the nature of your problem, you're not going to take the right kind of action, the remedy that you need. So you go to the doctor, you give them a lot of symptoms physically, you know, what you're experiencing, and their job is not to just say, okay, here's what Pradeep is telling me, and I'm going to just deal with that.

Their job is to connect the data that I'm giving with the common sources of problems that their medical journal gives them. And our responsibility is to say, okay, I'm hearing all of these things. What does the Bible say about it?

And maybe I'll just give a little caveat. I was going to say this later, but I'll say it now. We believe that the Bible is all sufficient. So no matter what circumstance you are going through, the Bible, God has given us everything that we need in order to find this help in our time of need.

Now, there are some things we'll see in a few moments that you might actually need some physical help from a doctor. In my case, it was vitamin D was like completely off the chart, and it was something as simple as that, but I needed a doctor to tell me that.

But you need to be able to connect those dots with the scriptures and what we have with the way in which we've experienced trials in our own lives. So you might say, you know, go to try these kinds of situations that might be helpful.

You know, ask your doctor about X, Y, and Z because you know certain things that you have experienced. But foundationally, I want us to walk out of this series with the knowledge that the word of God is sufficient and our responsibility is to go more skilled at it in order to know how to draw the truth from God's word and apply the right truth with skill to the problems that we are facing.

All right. With that, I'll stop. Let's begin with a replay secular language with biblical language to aid in finding the biblical answer. So let's get three people who can read those verses. The first one, can I get a volunteer?

Proverbs 3. All right. We've got one in the back. Romans 12. Thank you. And then Colossians 3. All right. Colossians 3. OK. So we have three verses. And as they're turning there, the goal here is to understand that we are going to get certain types of data and we need to now translate it or map it to biblical language.

So we'll begin with Proverbs 3 verses 5 through 7. Thank you. I'm going to pause with this verse and maybe a few of the verses. When we face a problem, I cannot help but look at it through my own eyes.

I don't have God's eyes looking at it for me. As I was making printouts, there was a lady who just called. I thought she was from BBC, but she wasn't. She was looking for some help, the financial kind.

And so as I'm talking to her, her concern was getting this physical need for this physical problem that she was facing. And as we started talking, it became clear that she had a different situation that she needed actual help with.

So, you know, you want to be kind and compassionate, don't want to dismiss even as you're hearing the words that are coming. But Proverbs 3 is all about trusting in the Lord with all of your heart. Lean not on your own understanding.

So when I'm facing a trouble, my sense is always to gravitate toward those things that I say, oh, you know, this is what is consuming me and I need to be able to turn my eyes to the Lord and look to him for help.

He's the one who can take the categories of troubles that I'm facing and then help me see it the way he sees it. So that's where it begins when we interpret the data that we've got through the lens of scripture.

So the next one is Romans 12 .2. Thank you. And I think this is something that is humbling for every believer, especially if you've been a believer for a long time and you're going through a trouble. I often like to think, oh, you know, I've got this covered.

I know the Bible back to back read a zillion times. But we live in the world and our minds have been patterned to think in the ways in which we interact with other people. There's a lot of data that we get from the world that consciously or unconsciously helps makes me think along the patterns of the world.

And so Romans 12, 1 and 2 are very crucial for us to remember that I have to consciously put aside the things, the way the world thinks and think in the patterns that God has given for us. In fact, there's a word there that talks about testing.

You know, that is by testing is how you examine the circumstance yourself, your heart in light of how do you see the truth that this situation brings. So, you know, all right, let's we'll come back to this more.

Colossians 3. Thank you. So it's talking about put to death things in your flesh. And in the next section, we're going to talk about putting off and putting on. There are things that you need to consciously put off and put on as you're looking to be conformed into the image of Christ rather than being conformed into the world.

Now, I'll say this here. So when we talked about sin, it's a little more explicit. I know that I'm struggling with a fleshly desire or impulse that has maybe taking a hold over my life and I need to work through it.

In suffering, more often than not, it may be not caused by my sin, but my responses to that suffering can tend to be sinful. And so even though my flesh may not have brought this trial, you know, this calamity into my circumstance, you can think of Job.

As you are in the midst of the calamity, the flesh is going to rear its ugly head. I think only Christ is the only one who always responded to overwhelming suffering with purity and righteousness. Each of us will be tempted and many of us will fall when we try to think God's thoughts in those moments of great suffering.

And so Colossians 3 is a good reminder, even as we are. I'm going to focus on ourselves as you're counseling and working through this suffering. How do I think? Just guard your hearts and look through this.

So let me read the next few items that are on your page. And just remember, secular language with biblical language. So the terms that are used here, dysfunctional family, low self-esteem, lax self-confidence, unmet needs, workaholic, perfectionist, addicted to gambling, drugs, alcohol, sex.

Put all of this for yourself. It's easy to talk about other people. And actually, you know, normally in church, when I look around, everybody seems so perfect. Like I'm the only one who is like struggling all week with these types of things.

And the truth is, all of us in varying degrees, shapes or form have different struggles, not the same for everyone. But these terms that are used here, let's just maybe take a few moments. What about these terms?

Do you think in light of the scriptures that we just heard? What about these terms? Do you think if you've gotten this from yourself? Let's say I'm telling Pradeep you're a workaholic. What might be the biblical language to look at it?

I don't think you'll find workaholic in the Bible. But what might be some other things to think of? Like now that I'm looking through the lens of the scriptures, what might I replace workaholic with? Not just that.

Any of those terms there? Go ahead. We'll come next. Excellent. Somebody else had a comment. Okay. A mark of a good biblical church. And you can see right away. So if I'm worshipping my church, I get my satisfaction from my church.

Not church. What did I say? Work. Church. Work. So if the work is what ultimately satisfies me, that I'm going to pour myself out into my work to the neglect of my family, to the neglect of my ministry, and everything else, that tells me that God is not the center of my life, work is.

And that's what idolatry is the definition of. So 1 John 5, 21, little children flee from idols. And workaholic could be one of them. It doesn't necessarily have to be that. But that's definitely one of those categories that you could map with.

Anything else? Okay. So now it's not just the satisfaction of the work, but it is your love of money that is drawing you to doing the kind of things that will... So your idol is not just the work itself.

Your idol is money. Or it could be insecurity. Because I think money is what's going to keep me safe. And so I'm going to try to earn as much money so when I fall back, money will catch me. And as we know, money burns.

It's only the Lord who can. And that's kind of how you now start to look into the mapping of where things go. Just a caution, though. So if someone is struggling with something, we don't just say, oh, you're an idolater.

And even for yourself. Sometimes if I just say that to myself, it'd be like, oh, too bad. And what do I do? We want to be able to recognize where the problem is coming from, and then work through the route to where the situation is, and then say, here's how the Bible looks at the same situation, and here is the route of the problem that we're going to try to fix.

We're not going to try to fix workaholism. What is that? Instead, we're going to fix idolatry. We're going to look to the Lord for help as we grow trusting Him rather than money or whatever else that might be.

So that's how we will map. Any other thoughts on any of those items there? Excellent. Yeah, so who am I? And the answer is I'm a manager of X, or I'm a technical consultant for Y, and that's who I am.

And I think Pastor Mike always likes to say this. It's like when people come, he's like, I'm not asking you about your job, because that's normally how people talk to each other. What do you do? How are you?

Do you know the Lord? And the thing is, for a believer, it's your identity in Christ. The next section is going to emphasize that more, because we're going to talk about the person before we talk about the situation that they're facing.

And actually, that's a very interesting thing, because my previous company, I worked for about nearly 20 years, and I was always conscious of the Lord and His ministry and the emphasis of work versus ministry, the way my life should be balanced with family and everything else.

But when I lost the job, I felt like there was a part of my life that was just gone. I'm like, wait, I didn't realize that work had filled so much of me, and it was good for that job to go away, because I kind of needed to re-remember that the Lord has given that.

He takes it away, but He's my stay. I am a child of God, and that's where I should rest. And sometimes you don't even realize you have a problem until the Lord kind of wakes you up to, this is what you need, and He's good that way.

Any other thoughts on the first section? Yes. And all of these things have, we talked about the presenting problem in the last section, so something's going to come to you, but underlying them, you could have other real root causes, and insecurity could be one of them here.

Excellent. I've so far gone, proved myself in the world, and received accolades for what I've done, and after a point, you can stop remembering that it is to the Lord that I'm doing all of these things, as opposed to the right kind of responses that I get.

And that can be not just at work, it could be even in church. We want to be doing things for the Lord. Excellent. All right, so we could talk more about any of those. My goal is this week and next week we'll finish the methodology, and then in any remaining weeks we'll actually pick some specific examples and dive a little deeper.

But let's keep this conversation going so we can apply to different examples as we do the method. So the next section is the biblical categories or the spiritual condition to describe the person. You kind of want to know this before you go to C, because C is really where you're starting to interpret well, but you need to know the person for whom you're interpreting.

Biblical Categories for the Person You Are Counseling

So we have a few categories here. Let's just read them all very quickly. It should be pretty self-evident. So we need five or six people to read. So John 3, can I have a volunteer? Just raise your hand and you can find it later.

Okay. Mature, this is I need two. Hebrews 5. Did I see a hand? Thank you. And then Ephesians 4. Okay. And then First Thessalonians 5 .14. Okay. And then Matthew 22. Okay. All right. Not Simon. Okay. Simon, you can take the next one.

Proverbs. Actually, yeah, we have several proverbs. Why don't we just read all of them for Simon? Okay. We'll begin with believer and unbeliever. And we talked about this already. If you're talking to a believer, there is a certain way in which you can help them.

If you're talking to an unbeliever, you talk to them in a different way. The call I got this morning, I thought was a believer. And then as I'm talking to, I kind of quickly realized this is not. And so we need to talk about something else.

I'm not disregarding the problem. Patty, I need to tell you what she's going to call you back. So I do all the fire and brimstone. Oh, okay. So, you know, and then we talk about the real root problem.

So if you don't know which category, you can't help. And this is important for self-examination to sometimes you get questions like, okay, given the type of responses I'm having in this situation, do I need to examine my own faith?

So let's let's begin with John three. And just a note here. So the thing we want to remember is, as an unbeliever, there is one thing that's supremely important for me to deal with. Even for a believer, it is Christ.

But I know that. But as an unbeliever, I don't. And so when I'm trying to help them through whatever problem that they are facing, we want to make sure that they recognize this, because there is no promise of God's help for anyone who rejects him.

God is gracious to help people who are unbelievers. The sun rises on the just and the unjust. But and I can give them some common wisdom and advice. But I want to be be clear that there is a grave danger that they are in.

And that's. And that is the that is the key to life, as you read in John three. All right. So the next one is mature or immature. So let's read the two verses Hebrews five. And the maturity is kind of important.

So people who are mature can still go through sin and suffering. And you want to be able to understand where this person is as you're ministering. You know, how much content do they actually not know?

How much content have they not lived through? And you need to kind of help them through the basics. Or how much do they already know? And they just need a reminder or an exhortation. What is it that this person needs?

So recognizing where they are. And I think the passage that you just heard, the Lord is equipped. The church BBC here with different gifts were in order that everyone may be mature. So the goal of the sin and suffering that comes is to help us look to the Lord for help and find the strength in the spirit.

And in the word, in order that we may grow in maturity. And that's the purpose of all of these trials. And so we are to help people recognizing where they are in their walk. First Thessalonians 5. Did you notice those five, four verbs?

Admonish. How many of you like to admonish somebody else? Encourage, help, urge. So it's kind of in degrees, you know, going from one extreme to the other, how you want to help people. And recognizing where they are helps you minister the word in a way that's helpful.

And for myself, there are times when I'm just stubborn in my own thinking. And I need to say, OK, this is the Lord's rebuke in the way in which I'm looking at these things. And I need to firmly put aside whatever it is that I'm thinking or doing and jump ship.

And there are other times that I have to kind of work through these things because these are hard matters of the heart. Like this week, I was balancing a couple of values and I couldn't quite figure out how they fit with each other.

And, you know, you bump against the wall a few times, spend more time on your knees. And ultimately, you know, the spirit of God will guide you through, OK, here is how I need to come along. And this is I was looking at it from a self-examination.

But as you're ministering to others, recognize where they are. Matthew 22. And again, here is where is this person's heart? And this is kind of central to every counseling that we have. You know, is my heart Godward in terms of love or is it inward in terms of what I want?

And almost every situation, it's like I've turned in some way toward myself. And I need to be able to turn it toward God and other people. Proverbs. So, Simon, you have a lot of verses. This wisdom and foolish categories are crucial in thinking of biblical counseling.

You know, I don't know, someone once said, you know, sin is like temporary insanity. You're almost mad when you commit a sin, especially as a believer, when you recognize the beauty of God, the holiness of God, the glories of God.

And in spite of all that, I just say, set that aside. I'm going to go step on vomit. And thinking of the categories of foolishness and wisdom, the proverbs has plenty of those. Reminds us that fearing the Lord is what gives us that wisdom we need.

And that's what helps us come out of the category. And sometimes recognizing that I am foolish is crucial to know that I need to seek wisdom. And I need the help that comes from above. So we saw a few categories here.

Hopefully that helps you think through. OK, here I'm not looking at an alcoholic. I'm looking at one of these. I'm not looking at whatever else the category might be that the world wants to put a label on me.

But this is the labels that the Bible gives me. And once I recognize these labels, or a label has got a pejorative sense, how the Bible calls me out in my time of need, then I can say, OK, here is how I need to get counsel, get wisdom, get help for myself and for others.

Any thoughts on this section? All right, so let's move to the next section. And so here comes the probable cause. So what does the Bible say about this? So these are, let's read those, those three sections.

Jeremiah 17, can I get someone to read it? Thank you, Janet. Mark 7, it's OK if you've read before, Steve. And then James 4 .1, thank you. So we'll begin with Jeremiah 17. It's a longish. Most of us know the last verse well.

And from the heart comes all things. We're going to see that too. But the previous section must remind you of Psalm 1. You know, here is what causes flourishing. You know, it is being in the Lord and not being in the Lord is a wasteland.

And the probable cause, let me just say a word and then we'll go further. So no matter what circumstance we have, let's say a dysfunctional family or some other circumstances that are external, or, you know, that contributed to where I am today.

In biblical counseling, we want to get to the heart. It's not about all the other circumstances. And the example you gave was perfect, just helping this person see how to trust in the Lord, how to look at your own heart in terms of overcoming fear.

And it's not about, OK, why did I get COVID or, you know, what is going to happen to me next? Mark 7, and we could say, OK, I passed the first one, second one, third one, fourth one, fifth one, sixth one.

Yeah, I got around foolishness. And the thing is, the heart is your idle factory. Whatever it is that is coming in, our responsibility is to recognize where is my heart entangled? Where is my heart stuck?

And how do I look to the Lord for help as I look up to him? James 4 .1. We live in a society that's very litigatious. It's my rights, my freedoms, and what I want to do. And James, when he's talking to the people, reminds them that it's in our hearts that we begin these conflicts.

And it's normally self versus seeking the love of the Lord and the neighbor. And so with the first A, B, and C, what you've seen is, OK, you're going to get some data. You're going to come to some categories.

You're going to now look at it through the lens of the scripture and say, what does the Bible say about it? Where is this person in terms of his walk with the Lord or, you know, not knowing the Lord? And then looking to the heart, what is it that is the underlying area where you can help?

This person or ultimately yourself, you know, where is my heart? Where does it need to be? And so once you have this framework in which you're looking through the problem, now you're no longer saying, oh, what is that?

Low self-esteem. I have no idea what to help you with lower self-esteem. I can tell you because I can tell you what the Bible says about it. And so if I'm feeling low self-esteem, I need to now look through the lens of the scripture and look at who I am as a child of God.

Recognize, you know, why I'm thinking this way and then find the bridge, bridge the gap between where I am to where I need to be. It's not like, oh, I got a pill. I'm a child of God. I put it in and then everything disappeared right away.

Maybe for some it does. It's just an admonish. Wake up. I need to get a kick in my backside. I'm a child of God. You know, I just remember how God saved me and then my darkness is dispelled. But for more often than not, I'm here stuck in a place because I've been thinking a pattern that does not help me.

And I now need to work through the process of trusting in the Lord, looking at the scriptures and working through this. And it's the same when you're doing this for somebody else. You know, just be compassionate with them.

Sometimes they need time and other times they need to just don't kick them physically until they've told you to. So D and E. So at this point, hopefully you are able to recognize, you know, where the heart of the matter is and then how you see this in order to be able to help.

So and you can always continue to get more data as you need. So for this overall section of interpretation, any questions or thoughts? All right. So let's go through the next couple of pages. Those are the attachments to the to these handouts.

So this is something that professional biblical counselors do. When I say professional, they are like certified. But this some of these things you probably don't need. But I'm going to point out a few things here, especially on page two of the attachment on health.

I can tell you almost every person that I've counseled, I've always asked this first. If they're not thinking clearly, they're not. They're struggling with sleep, whatever it is that it might be. It might be fear.

It might be something else. When was your last physical? You know, that's my first question because I've had to apply that to myself. I hate physicals. My, you know, sorry to doctors here. My confidence in the medical profession is not very high.

But they help me a lot. So put those two together. So but in the health section, you can see there are some questions there that are helpful to recognize. OK, you know, it will give you more data, but also point them in the right place if they need help.

That's something that we are not equipped to. And then if you go to page four of the handout, there's a problem checklist. This is something that they if you go to a biblical counselor, like, I mean, I think if you meet with Pastor Steve, he might ask you to do this.

But even as you're talking, you can think through myself. You know, where are these things that I'm struggling with? And this is what helped me last year when I was really stuck. I just had a biblical counseling book.

I just went through the table of contents and it's like, whoops, whoops, whoops. Or maybe. And then, yeah, you know, as you read more. And there are these are helpful, especially as we are thinking in terms of what are the biblical areas that we need help with.

And then the last four questions in that page. I think this is really helpful just to write it out for ourselves. When we are going through times of trial, because I am a thinker. I like to drive and think as I'm processing things.

But sometimes just after I've done all the thinking to just distill it down and write it, something like this helps a lot in terms of applying God's word very specifically. Because when it comes to others, sometimes, you know, I spend a lot of time trying to help.

But when it comes to me, I'm like, you know, I can kind of skim through this thing. And sometimes our troubles need more than just a quick Nehemiah prayer. And so, you know, going through these questions help.

So let me actually let me look at the next page, too. So that's the interpretation attachment. So once you've done this first section of analysis, getting the data now. Remember, our second bullet in this eight steps had to do with inspiration or hope.

So when a person is struggling, when you are struggling, you're looking for something somewhere. And that's not in the right place, because if it is, then you will get the help you need from the Lord.

So misplaced hope is a category in which you look at some of these things. So when we talked about workaholism, where was this person's hope? And so you can kind of write that down. This is your interpretation of your own of the of the problem that you that you saw.

And now that is misplaced. Hope is one category, but sins are another category. Remember, we have both sin and suffering, and it could be a sin that you are stuck in or a sin in which you are responding to the suffering.

And so listing those down are crucial because you want to help yourself recognize that sin, repent of that sin, confess that sin, and then look for help to grow out of that sin. And then comes the counseling plan.

So this counseling plan, we're going to see in steps five, six and seven. In terms of the how do you work through this now that you know where the root of the problem is? Now, it's not in some cases, like I said, it's just you tell them and it's done.

Tell yourself and it's done. In other cases, you have to work through this. OK, does this person need to read the scriptures, these scriptures, examine these things, you know, put a pattern in their life?

OK, if it's pornography, here are the things that you want to put in place. So there's going to be a few things that need to come. But at a high level, you want to kind of lay out what do I need to do?

If I am perpetually anxious, you know, here are some steps that I need to work through. And like I said, we'll we'll cover that in steps five and six. And then there's resources, reading and audio, biblical passages or books that you want to give them to read accountability.

What are things that they need to put in place? You know, when you meet someone who is having specific issues, what are ways in which you can put them accountable and then connect them with the church?

You know, so I've asked people to do discipleship. I've asked people to join home group because, you know, a lone sheep is the one that's easy to get taken away. All right. So I'll pause here. There's a lot of content there.

Any comments or questions or thoughts on that section? Those attachments. All right. So we have a few minutes. I want to start the instruction because this is really the heart of everything that we've been hoping to hit.

And I'll give you a little bit of data that will help you connect everything we've seen so far. And then next week, hopefully, we'll tie it up. So instruction. This is the second handout that's all stapled together.

It should have page one at the bottom. So the definition is to promote biblical change through accurate, concrete, practical and appropriate teaching and counsel from the scripture, providing God's perspective on what to do to solve the problems.

You know, this is a skill. So you may not do this always perfectly for yourself, even being accurate. You know, sometimes I look at workaholism and I think it's idolatry of the work when it is actually something more deeper in terms of greed.

You know where I'm getting satisfaction to where I'm getting my confidence. Concrete, you know, you want to be very specific about how you're going to address your instructions. Can't be just vague in general.

If there is a specific problem, it needs a specific answer. Needs to be practical. I can give a lot of theory and theology over the issue that is going to be discussed. But if it doesn't, the rubber doesn't meet the road, does no good.