A WOW Moment - June 18th 2020

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Are you on the right channel? Yeah. Do you have a right channel?
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You have to be after I already hit a lot of Vicky. Well, I'll have a second option.
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You're on the right channel. Oh, I put my phone in between. Why don't you show everybody in the camera and see if they can see anything.
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It's like I just got done eating, so, you know. Are we on the right page?
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Yeah, it must have been in verse 10, 25 that I was thinking. Cause I was just reading, I was like stopped at verse 13. I was like, well, um, so I don't know about that.
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This is going to be so much fun. I'm excited. All right.
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I can't see how many people's. Oh, me either. Hi, friend. There's a couple.
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Yeah, it was. It was 23 through 25 that I was thinking. Okay. Chapter 10.
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Where I got five, I don't know. Hebrews 10. Now I forgot the verse.
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She came over Saturday for us to like go over this and kind of like outline what we wanted to talk about.
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And then she wrote it down for me. And it's like, she wrote these three verses. She's like, oh, these should be good. These should be good. And I'm like.
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I'm getting an average. No, she's like, this is the one you need to read first.
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It's chapter 10. I just, I only got you halfway there. Since it's like, what's that today?
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I can't read it from here. Oh, actually here I will. I will be your questionnaire person.
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We usually don't do questions. No, still can't read it. There's really not much change. Okay. All right, let me do our welcome.
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Good evening, everyone. Hello, Tara. Good evening, everyone, and welcome to our
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Bible study. I'm Vicki. Everyone remembers Mercedes. Soon her hair will be a different color.
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It's natural right now. It's not going to stay that way very long. Tiny bit of green left. You know, she'll have to be something bright.
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Yellow. No. Tonight we are at the lovely
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Allen's house, and this is Anna Allen, our guest, along with Miss Ashley Shipley.
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I'm just here for emotional support. She's here in case anybody decides to cry. Yes. Oh, I don't want to make people cry.
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But I want to thank you for having us tonight for the Bible study. Actually, I've had about five or six women step up now, and I actually have all the way to the third week of July scheduled for studies.
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But thank you. Thank you for allowing us. They're a little apartment. It's not a little apartment.
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It's actually a very nice size apartment. I found a spare room. Ashley, you're going to have to share this spare room.
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Okay. I can cuddle with her. Their house is so cute.
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It must be really nice to Sorry.
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Really nice to not have to pick up after a whole bunch of people all the time. But then, you know, we did come in, and I'll have to say that I was very impressed.
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Mrs. Allen's husband was in the kitchen. He loves cooking, and I'm very grateful for that.
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He cleans. He looks good. He makes good -looking sandwiches. Yeah. I found that recipe on Pinterest.
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I find the recipes. He makes them. So that's kind of how we merge in the kitchen. I like to bake, but he's the better cook.
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But he does laundry. He'll do, you know, the kitchen. He'll do dishes.
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I'm very lucky. I trained him. Well, you've had him for, like, what, 10 years? 10 years tomorrow.
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We've been together 10 years tomorrow. They started dating when they were, like, 15 and 16? 15 and 16.
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So tomorrow's 10 years together. Well, congratulations. Thank you.
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See, I've had time to train him. In the formative years. Happy anniversary.
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That's just fabulous. They're cute. Well, he had some Shibley training, too, didn't he?
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He was there for, how many years? 3 or 4 years? Off and on, I think it was 3 years total. That's what
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I was thinking. So we're a dominant to the Shibley family. Yes. It happens. Their family's quite large.
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We were there last Thursday night. We had Bible study with Pastor Jeff. And the house was very quiet during Bible study.
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And then we had dinner. Then we had dinner, and it was like, wow, where did everybody come from?
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I mean, there was just people. Lots of people. They were being respectful, quite a little nice.
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Were they actually in the house when we were doing Bible study? What? They're adults now. They can control themselves.
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Well, again, training them when they were young, you know, we got beaten with a shoe. We had to run around in a cinder box.
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I'll have to say that the training sometimes is shown.
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I know one little Shibley, he just gets so eager and excited about stuff he can't sit down or keep his mouth shut.
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I bet nobody knows who I'm talking about. See? Well, anyways,
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I want to thank y 'all again for getting with us tonight and doing this study. Anna, what verse have you chosen for us to study tonight?
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Galatians 6, 1 and 2. Mercedes, will you read the scripture of Galatians 6, 1 and 2, please?
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Brothers, if someone is caught in any wrongdoing, you who are spiritual should restore such a person with a gentle spirit, watching out for yourselves so you also won't be tempted.
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Carry one another's burdens, and this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. So, why did you pick this verse?
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Whenever you first ask me, you know, come up with a verse or something that you really enjoy or that's on your heart.
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Accountability has always been something, especially within these last several years, something that's been very important in my
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Christian walk and also in Ashley and I's friendship. We met seven years ago, six, seven years ago?
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Somewhere about that time. We ended up being in an accountability group.
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I came to Whitton for the first time. Donovan started going there, but I didn't want to be the girlfriend who, you know, just came to church with him and followed him around.
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Yeah, I just didn't want to be that girl. And then so Donovan ended up leaving his Bible in the college room when we were in college.
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And so I was like, oh, well, you know, I'll go grab it. And Rachel Shipley at the time and Ashley were in there.
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Rachel Matusik. Yeah, well, Rachel Matusik at the time ended up sitting in there and I came in and they were like, oh, hey.
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I'm like, I'm sorry. I'm just, you know, didn't mean to interrupt. I'm just in here, you know, getting this Bible. And then they both look at each other and was like, do you want me to be in an accountability group?
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And I'm like, okay. Unbeknownst to Anna, she had walked in on us sitting there.
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We're like, what young women are in our church that we would want to, because we were talking about starting it and we were in the middle of naming, we were naming every single person who was in our age group that was a single female that we could think of and Anna wasn't even on that list because she was only coming every once in a while and she wasn't really that committed and she just happened to walk in as we were wrapping up the list and we just looked at each other and we're like, what do you think of Anna?
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And they're like, hey, would you like to join? And so ever since then, for about six or seven years,
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I've been in an accountability group almost that entire time and I will tell you that being held accountable, especially in your
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Christian walk, is very important because it really keeps you from doing a lot of stupid crap and there have been times where I didn't do something specifically because I knew that I would have to tell my group about it.
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I'm like, I don't want to do that. I'm not going to get in trouble by my group. I don't want to do that. But the reason
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I picked that verse is because accountability has been an important aspect of my life and not only in my life, but in my
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Christian walk as well. Remember when you read it, it says, brothers, if someone is caught in any wrongdoing, you who are spiritual should restore such a person with a gentle spirit, watching out for yourselves that you also might not be tempted.
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And so it says with a gentle spirit. Sometimes we need to be gentle with each other, but other times, it's like, okay, if you're coming in here every single week for the past year with the same problem,
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I'm not going to be so gentle anymore. Do you want accountability for that anymore or do you just, you know, what do you want?
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But I do think it's important to do it with a gentle spirit because nobody's perfect.
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And not everybody needs to be addressed in the way of a gentle way. Some people need to be addressed with a hammer or slap the back of the head or something.
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Or a flip flop. Like a latino mom. But see, it might have worked for you.
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You threw a flip flop at her? I threw it back. That is ministerial abuse, ma 'am. It was on a mission trip.
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She threw it back. It was on a mission trip and I was her mom until Tara got there.
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So you're saying it's maternal abuse. Yes. That's fine. Is that any better? Yes. It's discipline.
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Discipline. Thank you. I'm the one that gets the hammer dropped on me a lot.
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Yeah. Agreed. And you know, you talk about how you started in accountability.
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I myself started in accountability many years ago too and I went into a group that wasn't expecting me and it ended up being the best thing that I did in my life.
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Especially when you have a group of, with us just speaking with women, when you have a group of women that you can go to of all different ages and still have something in common, like to me that's amazing because it's like, on paper
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Ashley and I should not be best friends. We should not be best friends. We really shouldn't.
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So like we're complete, like Ashley loves she's what I call my nerd and like she's okay with that because we've been friends for so long but her and Donovan will talk about nerd stuff all the time.
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All the time. And I'm just like, I check out, I'm like okay, y 'all can be nerdy over there somewhere, that's fine. But it's like, on paper
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Ashley and I should not be friends because we are so opposite with our interests but the one interest that is most important is that we're believers and it's hard going through this world without having that companionship with other believers and it's just like I told
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Donovan, I said when we were in quarantine and we couldn't go to church, I said that's where all of our friends are.
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We don't have any friends anywhere else besides like my, you know, our families and stuff.
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It's like we don't have any friends outside of church and so I was, I honestly, like I'm a pretty happy person
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I could feel myself like sinking into like a slight depression and when
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I got to hug, like I finally hugged Ashley. Michelle Romo like stuck her hand out. She's like, friends, friends, friends.
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And I was like, are you hugging people? And she's like, yes. I was like, oh my gosh. And like we embraced each other and then
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Rachel Shipley and I hugged and I was like, that just made me so happy and to know that I don't have to go through this world without having friends like that who actually genuinely care, not even just about like me as a person but my spirit and my spiritual walk as well and that's the thing about accountability that is so important is that they kind of keep you in line with what you need to do.
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Kind of playing off the verse that we were trying to figure out what I was trying to do. In Hebrews 10,
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Hebrews 10 and it's verse 25 and 26. It says to make sure that you don't forsake gathering together even as you see the day drawing near and in our accountability group, just to say again how our accountability group is really weird and none of us should really be friends.
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Our group also has Sarah Workman in it. So Anna and I on paper we shouldn't be friends and then you throw
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Sarah Workman in there and it just really looks like a three ring circus at that point. We talked about going somewhere for a meeting one time and I was like I bet people would just like gawk like what are those weird people like just all of us.
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You should see when me and Vicki go out. People are like oh my god. We would get a Starbucks and meet just to talk about women's ministry stuff.
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You get the gray haired lady with the green haired lady with the piercings and the tattoos and here
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I am I just came from work and I'm you know but who cares. That was one of the things
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Sarah she pointed out like this was a couple meetings ago she had said something when we finally got back together and it made me think of this first when
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Anna and I were studying. She was like you know I got for the first time in a big way during this whole coronavirus thing she's like you know this entire world people are becoming more and more polarized and more and more self centered and more and more about the individual and she said the church is the last vestige of true community and family that this world has and it was kind of like you know when we read
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Galatians 10 it was kind of like Hebrews 10 thank you I was reading her notes here when we were reading it.
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When we were reading it when I read that in Hebrews 10 it was like you know this is important and it's even more important the more and more the closer and closer the day draws near and I was like whoa because we will only have each other and it just kind of put it in this there was a whole reason why
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God pushed guys whenever you gather together you need to not forsake it. You need to you know make this gathering together important and holding each other accountable important because it's going to be really important when the day comes and it's coming and it's that was one of the things that Sarah was pointing out she's like I got this sense of how important it was when we were all sequestered and we were kept separated and that yearning that you felt for it and she's like the rest of the world they don't get to have that type of relationship with other like minded well it's not even like minded people you're people that are all sorts of different types of people and there's still that yearning to be together that the world right now doesn't have it's completely polarizing it's completely friend turning against friend and brother against brother right now just because of silly well in some cases not silly political differences and other things.
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I never realized how much I actually needed people until that happened. I know I'm I'm like a little anti -social like butterfly because I love
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I love people and I like doing things but sometimes I'm like I don't want to talk to anybody I just want to be by myself but like I said not like and I was just not to say anything bad about the people
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I work with but they're not like you guys they're not my church family they're not my close friends and so I was only coming in contact with them and then sometimes our families and I just felt so just like empty and just sad
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I'm like I just want to go do something with my friends. So that's one of those that was one of those things that it kind of tells me accountability and being together especially in the small types of groups it's important for your own correction but also for edification growth and family and things like that.
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It's not just for correction it's for a lot more than just that. So when people are trying to think well do
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I really want to go into accountability group and get beaten up over the head God didn't intend accountability which accountability groups are just are not biblical they're not biblical they're our way of interpreting it and implementing what
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God said what God set forth with accountability but it's not just for correction so you're missing out on a lot when you don't go to accountability group not just for the correction but also the camaraderie the sense of community the growth that you'll experience and the good things as well.
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I mean that's one of the things that you know Ann and I growing together we've been we've you know celebrated with each other in the good times and we've corrected each other when we've been doing wrong and so it's it's both sides of the coin it's not just you're gonna get beaten over the head by people with flip flops well in verse two it says carry one another's burdens in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ and so there have been some and like without sharing anything like confidential there have been some really like dark times and I think
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I've been in like four groups like out of the whole time that I've been doing accountability groups and there have been some like hard stuff that people deal with but you're there to carry that for them okay look you might not see the end of this you might not see why
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God has you in this situation and like with like I said without sharing anything like confidential we actually had a praise these last couple of weeks of something that's been happening to a person for over three years and it's finally yeah it's finally coming into fruition it's like do you remember when you first came into this group about two three years ago and where you were at that point and now you're in this completely different spot and you see what
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God has done and how you've grown in that I remember three years ago she was like why is God doing this to me
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I'm finally being obedient and he's punishing me for it and then literally she said a complete 180 last week and I was just like everything that we've been praying for she literally just like right that moment
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I was just like it was one of those really great things to watch kind of watching the growth of a
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Christian you know your fellow sister is just as good as watching a baby Christian being born it's one of those really awesome things when they're in the pits you're there for them when they're in their highs you're there for them you're there for your friends and um
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I don't know like I said at the beginning accountability has changed my life but like we were talking
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Saturday you get out what you put in so if you're not going to be open and honest like you don't have to be like 100 % honest about like what you did like every single thing of the day like how about your mother when
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Lily and Marshall talked about what they ate like you don't have to be like that it's like no just hit like the main points but it's like okay so do you have a problem it's like okay
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Michelle Romo ended up saying this in our small group in um at the women's retreat and it stuck with me she's like you know you can choose to be you know honest or you can choose to be like 100 % honest like okay well someone ended up cutting me off today on the road and I got mad okay that's being honest being 100 % honest which is a shame
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I started cursing I flipped a number you know like I did whatever it's like you can choose to be however honest but you're only going to get out exactly what you put in and so if you're not being you know 100 % transparent and it does it does take time to build that relationship to be able to be vulnerable especially with a group of women that you're not necessarily like familiar with um it is hard well and you know there might be somebody who's going through something you've gone through and so you're able to kind of step up and walk beside them and help them through it because you've been there and done that well
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I think that's why um with our group specifically at our church I like that we have different age groups like intertwined with that because you like the young newlywed is getting advice from a woman who has been married like 30 years and then you have this other person's like you know
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I've dealt exactly with what you're dealing with let me go ahead and you know kind of tell you what worked for me that's what's nice about our group is you do have that wider range of experience
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I'm the old woman you're the old woman the old old woman is James sweet I know well she's wonderful if you look at the verse before this though gentleness is the fruit of the spirit yes um you also have to keep in mind that we must not become conceited in provoking one another in being one another that's another thing that you don't have to worry about when you're dealing with your sisters in Christ or you shouldn't be dealing with when you come to dealing with your sisters in Christ or even your brothers in Christ because you know sometimes they can get their little feelings hurt too and want to throw a shoe at them also sometimes it might even be your husband why are you looking at me?
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I'm just giving you advice those two are married for a future reference you're welcome pastor and it's okay but make sure it's not a high heel shoe
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I don't know you don't want to damage you just want to get them talking about anyways then it flows into the wrongdoing but you know what what go ahead no you're on something go ahead verse 3 for if anyone considers himself to be something when he is nothing he deceives himself so the last verse what did you say again?
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verse 3 for if anyone considers himself to be something when he is nothing he deceives himself it ties back into 25 yeah but you know it's all part of being honest even when being honest is hard to do because you know that it's not exactly what the person wants to hear
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I love you but and Ashley always goes like when she says well she gets a whole octave higher that's when you know she's about to lay down the hammer and she's just like well
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I'm trying to be gentle but I'm just like I'm about to hit you with a hammer but I'm going to try and put a towel over it so it doesn't matter well you know and I'll be honest with y 'all
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I've had there's one woman in our church that I can honestly say has through everything that I've been through with my marriage with kids she's understood it she has walked right along beside me through some pretty difficult times and that is
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Rebecca Dillon she has been with me on several nights we've gone on car rides and because I would in the car when
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I was telling you earlier that's when I found out I had to get glasses we would go looking for a house for them to rent years ago and that's when we did and I want to tell y 'all she ministered to me every single time and I don't think she looked at it that way but it was just now that I can look back at it she saved my life emotionally you know what
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I mean well we've been in those situations and it's a thing where you sit back and you go thank
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God for that person and it's like God literally put this person in my life at this time for this reason so I have an analogy
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I was like God God is a sculptor he's the potter, we're the clay, everything else and so God puts people in your life good or bad and it could be the boss that you hate just at this time it could be your best friend it could be an ex -boyfriend it could be an ex -husband, whatever but God uses all these people as tools some people he may use as a scaffold some people he uses as a hammer to take big chunks out of your life and you're just like why did you do that, that hurt and then there are some people who they just give you the fun finishing touches they brush you up and they clean off the rough edges they polish you so that's kind of one of those things of Anna, she's definitely, she's been at times been a hammer, she's been a chisel she's been a polish, she's been stop it, don't touch me actually it doesn't like to be touched when she's sad so I just go in there she wants to comfort me and I'm like don't touch me but some every person that God puts in your life is
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God is using to shape you and there are some people you're just like thank God that he sent me this person and you see the effect that that person has on your growth spiritually and what they have used, how
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God has used them to speak to you whether they be on a positive or a negative yeah because at that, during that point in time in my life
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I didn't know where to go I didn't know who to talk to, I didn't know what to say I didn't know how to put it,
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I didn't know and I would just get so frustrated and I would be so angry and it would be like she'd call me and say hey you want to go look for a house with me and I was like yeah, sure, give me a yeah, how'd you know
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I needed to get out of here tonight, you know and we'd get in the car hi
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Rebecca we would get in the car and I would just like word vomit and cry sometimes and then by the end of the night, by the time we never found a house out of all that time we never found a house her sister found a house for them to move into but anyways we still had fun doing it it was so productive, it was it was, so you know and I will have to say that she was that person that I was going in the wrong direction but she gently restored me and steered me into the right direction so one thing though if a fellow believer comes to you and they're struggling with something a sin in particular um you gotta make sure that you too are not caught in that same sin in the correcting of that person because it's
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John 8 the adulterous woman says the one with no sin cast the first stone oh and then also
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I have to straighten it out my readers Matthew 7, 1 -6 and this is the typical, like the stereotypical verse that they say like don't, you know, don't judge me you're not supposed to judge me and then
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I'll end up reading one of yeah it's Matthew 7, 1 -6 and I'll end up reading John Piper, he's a pastor if y 'all haven't heard of him but he has like a little saying about it and I'm like, it's just perfect so I'll go ahead and read
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Matthew 7, 1 -6 do not judge so that you won't be judged from the judgment you use you will be judged and to the measure you use it will be measured to you why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye but don't notice the log in your own eye or how can you say to your brother let me take the speck out of your eye and look, there's a log in your eye hypocrite first take the log out of your eye and then you will clearly take a speck out of your brother's eye don't give in, or sorry don't give what is holy to dogs or toss your pearls before pigs or they will trample them with their feet turn and tear you to pieces could you imagine
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Jesus calling like you personally, hypocrite could you imagine like when he, because this is
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Jesus speaking and for him to say hypocrite like ooh, that cuts, that cuts deep but so John Piper what he has to say about it, he says it's not wrong to lovingly help our brother remove a harmful speck from his eye it is wrong to self -righteously point out a speck in your brother's eye when we ignore, as no big deal excuse me the ridiculous log protruding from our own and so like she said you know, it's okay to help somebody else out with that, but you can't scold them for something that you do the exact same thing hypocrite exactly, and so that's always one thing
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I would recommend before any type of accountability meeting is evaluate yourself because there are sometimes, it's not like a counseling group, it's not you know, just like ladies and lattes, it's not just that you know, it's a time to hang out yeah, see we can add it, but it's not just that, but to really evaluate yourself and be like okay and there have been times
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I'm like I know exactly what you're going through because I'm going through it right now and I just want to let you know you were not alone in this like I'm struggling with that same thing right now, what can we do to fix it instead of just be like oh yeah, you need to work on that girl you suck you can't do that do you see her face?
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you know see why I like being her friend she makes me laugh,
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I'm funny tell Donna, say that to Donna and he says I'm not hilarious, Donna thinks I'm not funny too, so you know, no he's like you're not hilarious
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I said I'm hilarious, I am a delight and I'm funny I raised that on camera
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I'm not going to do anything or look anything you should wait until she gets the
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Madea out oh yes I get really one thing,
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I do have a couple of as Ashley and I were going over this on Saturday, when you were talking about like you know chiseling, you have people in your life you know that kind of shape you into who you are
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Proverbs 27 17 as iron sharpens iron so one man sharpens another and I find that very true and for one of our accountability groups that was actually like our motto, or like the verse that we used for like the motto for that and so I that was our that was our
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Bible verse oh oh no that's my study
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Bible that was our Bible verse on a like a mission trip one year that was our team verse it was one of the verses when we did our
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Q &A I saw that I saw that, that was a good one too
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I haven't watched it I don't go back and watch oh you don't watch yourself it's weird
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I don't like listening to myself talk that reminds me
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I got something I need to do so remind me humility is in this too being humble that is something you know
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Anna knows a little bit I won't go too crazy into it but one of the lessons that I had to learn doing this accountability group
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I've been in one same amount of time she and I started together one of the really hard lessons that I had to learn in an accountability group was you know talking about being the tool that God uses to shape people if somebody rejects that shaping that is not your responsibility and you cannot you cannot take it personal when somebody refuses correction you cannot do that there was one time
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I do feel like a failure I do I struggle with that there are pangs of that I'm a fixer where's my flip flop when
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I need it I'm not struggling with it right now but we had one friend who she didn't we went to her with Bible verses and I took it so personally it was a huge failure on my part when she chose to still go on a different path and for years
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I was like was I too hard was I not hard enough that's not my responsibility our responsibility is to be willing tools and to be obedient to God after that our responsibility in the situation is over and you think they're not rejecting you they're rejecting
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God did you start out gentle I started out gentle it was over a long period it was over years it was over a very long period of time
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I have been gentle there are times I can laugh at other people I asked her and she was gentle you I can see being gentle I thought you meant actually
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I'm not so much anymore so you know when this happens do you realize you do that like Sunday she's just like bam like suplex me with something
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I'm like no I don't do that I was like so don't you notice that whenever this happens you do this just called it like we were in the middle of a conversation with somebody else and then
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I pointed it out because I had thought about it in the middle of my conversation she just called me out in the middle of my conversation
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I'm just like but I only do that because Ashley and I have been friends so long I know that I can just look at her and even with Donovan like I have certain relationships with people
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I can just look at them and be like okay I love you you're being a brat and that's kind of like where Ashley and I are but other people
35:10
I'm not just going to say that to but it's like I mean have you considered all you know your feelings are they really your feelings aren't always true you know
35:19
I always rely on feelings no but like with Ashley it's like I'm just like Marie your feelings
35:26
I'm like does it just because someone says something does that mean it's true well no okay then stop just stop stop it stop but yeah
35:36
I think that takes a while to develop a relationship like that so that's use your own discretion like what
35:44
Mercedes said humility that is you know going how that tied into what she was saying is humility because that was a pride issue with me because I was pretending that I had power to change the direction of people's life and I knew what
35:59
God's goal was for their life and I knew what they were doing was wrong and so I was going to make them change and that is not honey no honey she's like I know
36:12
I know and everybody knows that everybody you may be sitting there Lisa listen but you may be sitting there like no
36:18
I know that but all of us do that everybody does that when you think what you know what yeah because you love them it's out of love it's out of love and so then what
36:30
I have to remember I have to remember though I need to take a step back and just like you know what you know how many times
36:39
I've you are a mother and a grandmother I absolutely know where is it that it says you go in private to correct that person that's what
36:51
I thought it was in James anybody watching do you know what verse that is I don't know why
36:56
I'm laying down there when y 'all are can you hear me I thought it was in James but then
37:03
I want to say it was no I want to say is there anybody in there google it right
37:15
I was going to do that and I remembered my phone's over there being busy you can't google mom says
37:21
Matthew oh shoot we were way off thanks Matthew Matthew oh she says
37:31
I think now I can't find hey mom do you have a reference to that because I know you're probably watching with an iPad and a phone right now oh yes she'll have both
37:46
Matthew 1816 thank you 1816 okay
37:52
Miss Gwen we gotta get your wow moment put on YouTube it is on Matthew 1816 is it nope is that it yeah 15 okay if your brother stands against you go and rebuke him in private if he listens to you you have won your brother but if he won't listen take one or two more with you slept by the testimony of two or three witnesses every fact may be established if he pays no attention to them tell the church but if he doesn't pay attention to the church let him believe like and let him be like an unbeliever and a tax collector to you so kind of like if somebody knocks at your door and there's a bunch of people from church out there you've done something really bad apparently you can apparently you weren't listening the first two times anymore you just have to step away and let them come back be there like the prodigal son example
38:52
I have a friend who decided to make a decision very quickly and like without going into a lot of detail it was a friend of ours and he was just making this rash decision it's like you know what's the rush like why are you doing all this stuff you really need to take time to decide you know
39:14
XYZ he ended up going against that which is fine like I'm not your parent
39:20
I'm not going to tell you what to do but you asked our opinion so we're going to tell you you know exactly how we feel and he stopped talking to us and it's been almost two years now just totally ghosted like I've tried reaching out everything no contact and Donovan and I were talking about it here like last few months
39:41
I said you know I'm not mad I said I feel rejected because you know just because he didn't like what we had to say you know it's like we'll still love you but we don't agree with this particular decision that you made we'll still be here for you if you need help with anything but the fact that you know they just he ghosted us you know that's fine but I told
39:59
Donovan I said if he comes back I said I don't even care about it like to me it doesn't matter but it's like the same thing you know you feel like you know what's best for your friends and it's super hard when it's somebody that you're extremely close to and you love dearly it's hard to step away especially when it's somebody you've invested in I asked my mom
40:21
I said is this what you feel like with your kids and you know that they're like it's watching like a train accident happen you know it's like a train wreck coming it's like you know it's going to be a train wreck but you still have to let it happen anyway she's like yeah it's one of the sucky parts of being a mom because she's like you can't do anything you gotta let them make their own mistakes and it's like you just gotta let your hands off you have to and especially when it comes to kids you have to give them the advice that if they ask for it
40:47
I mean because especially after you have I have a step daughter that'll be 30 in January and a step son that's 27 and then
40:58
Wesley's 26 no I messed up that one
41:05
Brandon no my step son will be my step son will be 28 Brandon will be 28 because Amber will be 30 and then that makes
41:14
Wesley she will be 27 in February she's 94 and then then there's
41:25
William that's 20 and Miranda that's 18 and I'll be honest with you you know you all you can do once they once they're grown and out of the house it's worse than them being toddlers because when they're toddlers when they're toddlers you can smack their hand and then they won't do it anymore or they'll try to do it and then you gotta smack their hand and they move their hand away but when they're grown it's like don't do that why are you doing that why aren't you listening to me this is what's going on in your head you know and then when they come to you and say what do you think
42:06
I ought to do well you shouldn't have done it in the first place well that's whenever you have to just sit down and you and it's like it's really easy it's really really
42:16
Wesley is my hard headed child because she's so much like me and we actually had a talk a couple weeks ago and she just needed to hear truth and I told her
42:31
I said do you want to hear truth and she said surprisingly yes because usually she don't want to hear any of that so we spent two hours in my bedroom with the door shut and she accepted it and she listened to it and as a parent it's very very very hard to deliver truth sometimes to your kids because it's easy to do it with somebody else's kids but you know you want for your own children you want life to be great and grand but life isn't great and grand
43:17
I was like my mom she apologized because like for my childhood it wasn't like 100 % great like my dad was an alcoholic and it was an abusive marriage and everything like that and she apologized to me just like a few months ago
43:30
I'm just so sorry that that happened I just feel like you have so much baggage I said mom what person doesn't have some form of baggage
43:38
I said tell me one person she's like I can't I said okay like what you just said just throw it off just like nothing but with that everyone has something and you can't protect the people that you love for making the wrong decisions you just kind of have it's like you know a kid okay that's hot don't touch that hey it's hot don't touch that it's like okay go ahead and touch it it's hot don't worry sometimes we just have to burn ourselves in order to learn for ourselves but with like speaking truth to somebody it is difficult and even though Ashley and I are friends and we've been close friends for a long time it's still not always easy to speak truth and even to Donovan like I said we've been together for 10 years tomorrow and sometimes it is not easy speaking like 100 % you want me to be honest you want me to tell you 100 % truth you want me to tell you 100 % truth you're not supposed to be doing that you're not supposed to be doing that and they're like okay it's hard it's hard to hear truth because you're just like well
44:44
I'm still mad or I'm you know still stuck in my ways whatever well I'll have to be honest with you
44:49
I don't have any problem with being truthful with Mercedes well not everyone's like you though some people they might not feel comfortable with a particular person and so it's difficult for them to feel comfortable.
45:02
It depends on who it is for me I don't know who it is I'll rip into him if I need to I'll take that but it really depends on who it is gentle gentle but it's done in love it doesn't say that here though gentle it says restore such a person with a gentle spirit okay like you said sometimes gentle just doesn't work you can start that way and then eventually it's like okay
45:30
I've been doing this for so many times eventually it's like okay I gotta change gears. Well and I'm not a sugar coater either and I don't like sugar coating
45:39
I'd rather you just tell it like it is. I think that's why you accept them. That is exactly why
45:46
I accept it as you sugar coat it. No going back no crap. None of the sugary stuff
45:52
Well we have gone way over our 30 minutes That's fine. Yeah one more thing I was reading 1
45:57
Thessalonians 5 .11 I need to still read it. Sorry just happened.
46:03
Oh yeah sorry Um There's 11
46:12
It's another verse that I got wrong Therefore Therefore encourage one another and build each other up as you are already doing but then you come down to 14 and we ensure you brothers warn those who are irresponsible comfort the discouraged hopefully be patient with everyone be patient with everyone
46:35
On that note That's a tough one Which is also a fruit of the spirit
46:45
Patience God shut up Mercedes It's hard Well Okay I hope that all of y 'all out there have enjoyed tonight as much as I have.
47:00
Peanuts gallery I love meeting with the younger generation
47:07
They uh We could be her daughters That makes me feel good
47:13
Yeah That makes me feel better I don't think that made her feel any better Gentle Thanks you guys