Sexual Ethics And The Gospel (part 4) - [1 Corinthians 7:1-6]

Bethlehem Bible Church

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If you have your Bibles, please turn them to 1 Corinthians chapter 6. How many people here are visitors today? I see a lot of visitors.

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Well, welcome to Bethlehem Bible Church. In God's providence, He has brought you to 1

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Corinthians chapter 6 and 7. This morning, one of those passages that you just think,

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Wow, this is in the Bible. This is for public preaching. This is for my good.

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Now, the people from Bethlehem Bible Church know where we are. But for the visitors, I just want to remind you that I believe all of the

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Bible should be You should be able to preach all the Scriptures in a public setting. True?

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I think it was five years ago I went through the Song of Solomon. How many people were here when we went through that? And if it's in the text, it's

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God breathed. He has inspired it and He wants it to be proclaimed in a public setting.

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And the way the Word of God is set up, it's done so in such a way that it's all appropriate.

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It's all right. It's all good. And I have an 18 -year -old daughter, 14 -year -old son, 12 -year -old daughter, and a 10 -year -old daughter.

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And I want them to hear the message. I want them to hear the message. And if you have young people here today, they need to hear this message as well because it is for the body of Christ.

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And frankly, the world is going to educate your kids about sex. And so let's hear from God's Word, from the pulpit, in an appropriate setting.

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In such a way, I was thinking about a nature of singing. May Jesus Christ be praised. And then

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I thought, and now I want to stand up and proclaim the truth in such a way that about the topic of sex and sexual temptation, sexual purity, that God, Christ, Jesus would be praised as I preach it and as you listen.

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And so while I don't make any excuses for preaching the full counsel of God, I wanted to at least give a little cushion for the visitors today who haven't been coming.

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And my philosophy is this, and our philosophy at the church is this. We pick a book of the Bible, and we preach through it all.

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And I'm not going to get to chapter 7, 1 -6, and say, well, we'll read that later. It's kind of like the

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Jews when it came to the Song of Solomon. Don't read that until you're 30. By the way, that's a good way to get somebody to read it a lot sooner is tell them don't read it until 30.

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That's just our synodal arts, right? Don't do something. Don't touch wet paint. And so in 1

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Corinthians, Paul has been really focused in on this topic of sex and sex sin since chapter 5 when there was incest in the church.

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And he moves through chapter 5, chapter 6, and now into chapter 7. And this whole idea that we're looking at is how to overcome sexual temptation, victory over sexual sin.

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And Paul does it exactly the way Jesus does it, and Peter, and John. And that's this.

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Here's biblical sanctification. You don't just say to someone, stop something.

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You tell them, stop this and then what? Do that instead. So instead of lying,

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Ephesians 4, you are to tell the truth. Instead of being lazy, Ephesians 5, you are to work.

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And it's the same thing here. Paul just does not say, as he does in chapter 6, flee sexual immorality.

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And that's true. But then he also says, enjoy sexual morality.

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That is to say, all sex and marriage. All sex outside of marriage, sexual sin, stay away from that.

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He says, remember you've been bought with the price. Remember he says in chapter 6, verse 10, matter of fact, let's look at it right here so we can catch ourselves up as we're back into the series after Resurrection Sunday.

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Chapter 6, verse 11. Let's go there instead. And such were some of you, remember back up in verse 9, they were sexually immoral, idolaters, adulterers, those who practice homosexuality.

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Such were some of you, Church of Corinth. But then look at the greatness of God, the sovereign distinguishing grace of God upon these ones in Corinth that didn't deserve it.

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But you were washed. You were sanctified. You were justified in the name of the

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Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. And so Paul says, remember you used to be this way, but you're not that way any longer.

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And that's actually one of the motivations we have for holy living. Who we are in Christ, the power we have by the

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Spirit in us, and in light of what God has done by His rich and sovereign and lavish mercy upon us, then

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I want to live a life commensurate to who I am. Conduct befitting an officer.

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And so Paul says in chapter 6, verses 12 through 20, run from sexual sin.

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He says in verse 18, flee from sexual immorality. You can almost picture Joseph running away from Potiphar's wife.

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Run. Flee. Get away fast. Be a fugitive, literally. He says every sin a person commits, chapter 6, verse 18, is outside the body.

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But the sexually immoral person, all sex outside of marriage, sins against his own body.

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Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God?

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You are not your own. For you were bought with a price, and we know that price is the precious blood of Christ Jesus, our

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Savior. Therefore, what does he say at the end of verse 20, which ties into chapter 7, verse 1?

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So glorify God in your body. That is your sexual body. That's the way God has made you.

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God has created men and women in a sexual way. So, you've got a body, and you're in that body, and instead of running around doing what the church of Corinth used to do, or doing what you used to do, you glorify

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God with your body if single by abstaining from sexual sin. And if you're married, you glorify

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God with your body by, chapter 7, 1 to 6, enjoying your spouse. And so, let's look today at a little recap of chapter 7, verses 1 to 6, and then the majority of time we're going to spend this morning is in the

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Old Testament equivalent of 1 Corinthians chapter 7. By the way, I don't want to grab you that water.

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I'm usually, you know, I can travel the world and speak, but now, somehow today, I have cotton mouth. I wonder why.

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The main reason is this. I'm not afraid to offend people, because the gospel is offensive, but I want to make sure

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I say things today in such a way, even as I met some of the young guys here, Caleb and Joshua and Benjamin.

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I want to make sure I say things appropriately so those who come, whether they're visitors or for those who are here regularly, that we're not offended by something that was said.

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I want this truth to sink down deep, deeply in your hearts. And if you're eight years old, you need to know this.

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Now, of course, it'll be age appropriate, and for some kids, it'll just go over their heads. And kids, if you don't understand what

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I said today, you should go home and say, Daddy, what did the pastor mean? And then the daddy, I see a lot of you smiling, then the daddy, with age appropriateness, can talk to his own sons, his own daughters, and mom and dad can have a good conversation.

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And so, this is one of those passages today that I think to myself, it's in the scriptures, we're going to preach it. And I'm going to take a big swig of water.

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Listen to what R .C. Sproul said. I would like to make a rather bold assertion. If every single marriage that ends in disaster, in every single marriage that ends in disaster, some stupid decisions were made with respect to God's regulations.

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If God's regulations were followed scrupulously, there would not only be no divorce, there would be no unhappy marriages.

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Now he says something very insightful. If you want a happy marriage, I think if you're married, you want that.

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The most intelligent thing you can do is to submit to God's regulations. Doesn't that make sense?

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God, you designed marriage, and we'd like to do what you say. Sproul said, a great delusion is contained in the thought, if we keep his commandments, we won't be happy.

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When I experience a conflict of interest, or a conflict of desires, between what I want and what God requires, then

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I know the moral crisis is sin. When I choose my own desire and insult the integrity of God's wisdom,

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I at the same time reveal myself to be a fool. Those are good words.

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So today as we look at 1 Corinthians 7, verses 1 through 6, we'll see God has good grace and generosity, saying the way to avoid sexual immorality if you're married is to enjoy sexual morality.

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Now chapter 7, just a quick review. Verse 1, Now concerning the matter which you wrote, the

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Corinthians have written them, and now they've got their own slogan, or they've taken what Paul has said out of context, and they say, and ESV has got it in parentheses, not in parentheses, but in quotation marks, it is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.

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Now they've taken it out of context in some way, shape, or form. Now probably what happened is this, they live in this very libertine society, and there's sex sins everywhere, they heard

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Paul say something, and now they've taken it too far. And now they've said, you know what, abstinence is good in singleness, maybe it's good in marriage as well.

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And Paul's going to correct that. Sadly, I think in our society today, we sometimes will run into the same thing.

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The society, you watch as this church matures, the people that are young and get saved will come into the church with all kinds of baggage, including sexual sin baggage.

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And if they're not careful, they're going to recoil against what they did as they were unbelievers to say, well, you know what, that's wrong, and I'm going to go away from it too far.

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And we even have religions today, the Shakers, LNG White, some Orthodox churches, no physical relations except for procreation.

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Yet Paul is going to echo the heart of Christ Jesus and God himself that sex is good.

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God made men and women in such a way that would be pleasurable for them in marriage and would give

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God glory. So he says to them in verse two, these licentious people are now becoming too fundamentalist when it comes to this husband and wife marriage bed, and he says in verse two, but because of the temptation of sexual immorality,

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God has designed men and women, unless you have the gift of celibacy, to have those desires, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.

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Don't you like it there? Each and each. Something that's very shocking that we looked at two weeks ago, this shocking truth is men and women are equal in the eyes of God.

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Not shocking for us, not shocking for Paul, not shocking for God, but shocking for the culture. When you would own women like you would own slaves practically, and here, each one loving the other.

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Verse three, the husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, likewise the wife to her husband.

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That's a neat language to give. This is agape love, wanting the best for the other person to give. This is not using language, this is not horrible domineering language.

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No, it's giving. Barnes said, they are bound to each other in every way.

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They are to evince kindness and to seek to promote the happiness and purity of each other. There's a great deal of delicacy used here by Paul and his expression is removed as far as possible from the grossness of pagan writers.

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His meaning is plain, but instead of using a word to express it, which would be indelicate and offensive, he uses one which is not indelicate in the slightest degree.

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Don't you agree? He just says it in such a way, a nice euphemism, so you understand that the husband and wife should each love each other.

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The New Living Translation, not that I think it's a great translation, but I like the interpretation of the translation.

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The husband should fulfill his wife's sexual needs and the wife should fulfill her husband's needs.

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Now, marriage is a picture of Christ. Marriage is for procreation. Marriage is for pleasure.

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Marriage is for partnership. That is all true, but Paul is combating here in 1 Corinthians 7, verses 1 to 6, this group that says, we've got to abstain from any kind of sex in marriage because we were pagan, filthy, vile people before and now we've moved into marriage and we want to stay away from that sin.

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Paul's also talking to the people who, you know, I was a pagan, married a pagan, and then

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I got saved and then now I have to be with my spouse who's a pagan. Does that defile me in any way?

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And Paul is going to say, of course not. Verse 4, For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does.

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Likewise, again shockingly for the culture, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.

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Don't you see that nice mutuality? That nice togetherness there? Nobody's a sex object.

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Then he says in verse 5, There might be a time where you're not together. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement, again still talking the sexual context, by agreement, that's step 1, both have to agree, for a limited time, that's step 2, that you may devote yourselves to prayer, but then come together again, physically, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self -control.

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So you don't deprive one another, you don't count it as reneging on a debt, if you do that, no you just, we agree for a certain amount of time, we're going to pray, and then we'll come back together again.

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And then Paul says in verse 6, Now as a concession, not as a command, I say this. If you don't want to have a time to pray together, and abstain, it's okay.

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Now here's my question this morning. What is the Old Testament equivalent of 1 Corinthians chapter 7 verses 1 -6?

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1 Corinthians chapter 7 verses 1 -6 says, A way to help you overcome sexual temptation is to enjoy your spouse.

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What is similar in the Old Testament? You can't say Song of Solomon, that would be a good guess though. Proverbs chapter 5, let's turn there, we'll probably spend the rest of our time there.

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Proverbs chapter 5. The enjoyment of your spouse decreases temptations.

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Now next week we'll get to the singles portion of the series in chapter 7 verses 7, 8, and 9.

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But right now, one last week on marriages. And I really have been praying that the Lord would use this series to bolster marriages.

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Then we'll pray for the singles as well. Proverbs chapter 5.

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For those of you who think this somehow might be inappropriate language, verse 1 says what?

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My son. Dads, you better be teaching your children about sex.

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All age appropriate. Everything's got the right context and setting. But they need to hear from you.

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It doesn't mean that moms can't teach. This is Solomon talking to his son. It doesn't mean that we ought not to teach our daughters.

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But this is father to a son. And here's the outline. Abstain from sexual immorality.

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Enjoy sexual morality. God's watching everything you do. That's almost 1 Corinthians chapter 7.

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He does it with poetic language, but it's very, very impressive. And you're going to see the same paradigm of sanctification.

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Don't do this, but do that instead. So let's see the negative side first.

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Avoid sexual immorality. That is all sex outside of marriage. My son, Proverbs 5, 1.

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Be attentive to my wisdom. Incline your ear to my understanding. He's addressing this young man.

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We don't know how old. And he basically says this. You need to listen because your own strength isn't going to be enough.

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Your own IQ isn't going to be enough. Your own self -determination is not going to be enough. You need words from your father, the wise sage.

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But now we know they're also inspired by God. So they're not just smart words from the wisest man who was ever born, but they're inspired by God.

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They're breathed out by God. It's going to take thoughtful, prudent consideration.

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By the way, this is going to apply here for all those who are single because you are not to enjoy sexual morality while you're single because that's for marriage.

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And this will also be helpful for those who struggle with pornography. This same section right here through verse 14.

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Verse 2. Why do you have to pay attention, my son? That you may keep discretion and your lips may guard knowledge.

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Remember Solomon's going to say this. You either listen to my lips, the wise man, or you're going to be listening to the lips of the foreign woman, of the adulteress, of someone who's going to come along and say, forget this waiting till marriage.

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We need to enjoy each other now. And your lips may guard knowledge.

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See, it's all about the talk. It's not even about what this prostitute or this whore or this adulteress looks like.

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Verse 3. For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey and her speech is smoother than oil.

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It's not the sweetness of her kisses, it's the alluring words she gives. It's a battle of the words.

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It's a war of the words. She's going to try to find an unguarded moment and she's going to try to paint, as one man said, the vilest sin with the most beautiful portrait.

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One of the things about wisdom is, this is what dads should teach their sons, there's going to be a later. There's going to be an after.

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There's going to be even a morning after, you could say. Verse 4. But in the end, she's as bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two -edged sword.

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Thomas Watson said, either kill your sin or your sin will kill you. And so will she.

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Verse 5. Her feet go down to death. Her steps follow the path to Sheol.

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She does not ponder the path of life. Her ways wander. She does not know it.

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It's roving all around, internally and externally. What you see is not what you get.

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I'm reminded of Proverbs 30. This is the way of an adulterous woman. She eats and wipes her mouth and says,

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I have done nothing wrong. Solomon says, you better be careful.

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There's a price for infidelity. Verse 7. And now, O sons, listen to me, and do not depart from the words of my mouth.

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Adulterous's words are my words. Keep your way far from her. Give her a wide berth.

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Do not go near the door of her house. She's dangerous. I don't know if you've ever been around poisonous snakes walking around, maybe in the outback someplace, and it's not with your kids from your teenagers on down.

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Let's just go up and see how close we can get to see that snake up close. Let's play a little game, kids.

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Who can get their face closest to the snake without getting bit? Don't even go near her.

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I'd even go so far to say, and this is probably a different message, but I'll say it anyway. If you have to change your job, change your newspaper, throw your computer in the garbage, get some new friends, lose some old friends, you better avoid that adulterous woman.

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What could you lose? Verse 9. Lest you give your honor to others in your years, to the merciless.

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Maybe a blackmailer. You could lose money, that's for sure. Verse 10. Lest strangers take their fill of your strength and your labors go to the house of a foreigner.

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Paying the prostitute, the hotel, the expenses, paying off the husband, child support.

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Might even cost you your health. This is similar to sinning against your own body in 1 Corinthians 6. Proverbs 5 .11.

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And at the end of your life you groan when your flesh and body are consumed. Never getting over it.

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Maybe forgiven, but still saying, I wish I would have done that. I can't believe I did that. And maybe even with a venereal disease.

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Flesh and body consumed. Sex sins harm your body.

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Verse 12. What do you say at the end of your life? And you say, Oh, I hated discipline. And my heart despised reproof.

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I listened to this adulterous woman. Verse 13. I did not listen to the voice of my teachers or incline my ear to my instructors.

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I'm at the brink of utter ruin in the assembled congregation. No respect in the community.

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They all know what I've done. So like Paul, Solomon says, avoid sexual immorality.

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But then it's not just put off, it's put on. So now he says in verse 15 and following, enjoy sexual morality.

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You can protect your spouse, Solomon is going to say, from immorality by being with that spouse physically, sexually.

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The theme is going to be this, that if you enjoy your spouse, there'll be no reason to look anyplace else.

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The words of the adulterous will ring hollow in your mind. You'll say to yourself, that doesn't appeal to me because I love my wife and I find pleasure in my wife.

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And I'll say it again, marriage is more than sex, but sex is a critical component to marriage.

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Strict fidelity to a wife, but with wonderful ecstasies.

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The answer to sexual desire is not no, it's yes in marriage.

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Let me give you six truths from God's sexual curriculum, sex curriculum from God's perspective.

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I just read the other day, it was just on Fox News, some horrible book that they're giving 10 year old kids about sex.

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Completely inappropriate. This is going to be very appropriate. It's going to be erotic, yes, but it's going to be cloaked language.

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It's going to be the language that fathers you need to teach your sons and I will also gladly preach. But this is sex education from God's perspective and he's going to say marital fidelity doesn't impoverish.

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It's good. Number one, sex with your spouse is for each other only.

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It's for you and you alone. It's for the two of you alone. I think that's a better way to say it. The exclusivity of the relationship.

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Sex with your spouse is an exclusive relationship. And look at how he says this in verse 15.

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This is fascinating language. Drink water from your own cistern. Flowing water from your own well.

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Cistern there is singular. Wife only. Have sexual relations only with your spouse.

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Flowing water from your own well. The issue here is this isn't common property. This is private property.

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Back in those days we couldn't just say I'd like to have one of these aquapods and we're ready to go. It was a commodity to get water, wasn't it?

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It was difficult. So you're just going to go down the street and just throw your water all away? Well that'd be stupid.

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This is a valuable possession. A cistern. This is life and death. And he says drink water from your own cistern.

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This is figurative language to say enjoy your spouse. Physically. But it's just you and her.

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Or it's just you and him if you're a lady. And you can almost, if I was a kid listening to my dad teach me this lesson.

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You know what I'd think of? I'd think, oh last week the septic company came and pumped our septic system.

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So I called down Luke and a couple of the girls came down. I wasn't thinking of this illustration at the time but we dug the hole and then they put the manhole out and then they put this big kind of sucking device this big vacuum cleaner in there and they just sucked everything out of there.

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It was a very memorable occasion too because odors help you remember things. And the kids are like wow oh dear this is an odor.

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And here's what I would be thinking I can't believe I didn't say it. I was so overcome by the odor as well

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I couldn't think straight to teach my kids. It was a teachable moment. Kids, when you get married

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God says just enjoy your spouse. Even in the bedroom. It's like pure water.

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It's just like clean, fresh water. Don't settle for premarital sex.

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Don't settle for sexual sin because it's like going over with a little glass and dipping it in the top of that septic system and guzzling it down.

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Why would you have septic water when you could have Evian? That's exactly the picture here.

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Why settle for sewer water? I don't know about you but I'm not really big on sewer water on the rocks.

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No. I have to say a couple things like that just so it kind of breaks the tension and we laugh a little bit for comic relief and you know then the sword's coming right after that.

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Private cistern. Your own well. Your own wife.

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That's the idea. French Common Translation says your wife is like a spring of pure water.

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Drink from that spring. Spanish Common Translation Calm your thirst with the water that flows from your own well.

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God has made hormones. God has given a desire for those past puberty with the exception of the celibate ones for a desire to have sex.

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That's not bad. What the fall does to it is bad. But that's not a bad desire. Even the song of Solomon and Shulamite before she was married she was anticipating marriage in the marriage bed.

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Again, you can't go too far in your mind with that but it's not a bad thing to have a desire to be with someone.

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But the issue is here. It's for your wife and your wife alone.

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Look at verse 16. Should your springs be scattered abroad? Streams of water in the streets?

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No, spend your sexual energy at home. Water's scarce. Let them be yours alone. That's the figure.

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You and your spouse alone. Not for strangers with you. When you have the desire as a married person for sexual relations and you want your thirst quenched

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God has given you a wife. God has given you a husband. That's the holy arena.

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People talk about safe sex. That's where safe sex is. That's sacred sex. Quench your thirst.

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That's literally the language. Number two, sex with your wife or spouse is exclusive.

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Number two, it's for a blessing. God is so good. God is so giving.

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Verse 18, let your fountain be blessed. It's not a curse. It's not a ball and chain.

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It's not a hindrance. It's not a drag. It's refreshment. Cool water.

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The cool water of lovemaking. God gives sexual delight.

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I don't know when the last time you even said, Lord, thank you, if you're married, that you've given me a wife.

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You've given me a husband. For partnership, yes. For camaraderie, yes. For a picture of Christ, yes.

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But for marital ecstasy, yes. It's not a curse.

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You're to find pleasure in a fulfilled marriage. I think God is so good.

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You can even see Solomon. This is almost like a prayer. Do you see the text? Let your fountain be blessed. It's like he's talking to his son, but he's praying for his son at the same time.

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Number three, sex with your spouse is for joy. This is right from the text. The outline is from Proverbs 5.

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And rejoice in the wife of your youth. Not she's a downer. It's all sorrow, sadness.

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No, different. Bliss, elation, enjoyment, happiness, ecstasy.

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This is for joy. There's a book written in 1894,

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Instruction and Advice for the Young Bride on the Conduct and Procedure of the Intimate and Personal Relationships of the

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Marriage State for the Greater Spiritual Sanctity of this Blessed Sacrament and the Glory of God. Ruth Smythers.

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She was married to Reverend Smythers. You tell me as I read this if this echoes 1

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Corinthians 7 and if this echoes Proverbs 5. This is pastor's wife writing this to tell other people in the church.

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She's writing to the ladies about the marriage bed. Ladies, one cardinal rule of marriage should be never forgotten.

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Give little, give seldom, and above all, give grudgingly. While sex is at best revolting, it has to be endured and has been by women since the beginning of time.

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But it's compensated for by the monogamous home and by children produced through it.

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While the ideal husband would be one who would approach his wife only at her request and only for the purpose of beginning offspring, such nobility and unselfishness cannot be expected from the average man.

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This is a pastor's wife. Feigned illness, sleepiness, and headaches are among the wife's best friends in this matter.

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Arguments, nagging, scolding, and bickering also prove very effective if used late in the evening, about one hour before the husband would normally commence his seduction.

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Clever wives are on the alert for new and better methods of denying and discouraging the amorous overtones of the husband.

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By their 10th anniversary, many wives have managed to complete their childbearing and have achieved the ultimate goal, terminating all sexual contacts with the husband.

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By this time, she can depend on his love for the children and social pressures to hold the husband at home.

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I think about the beauty and the generosity and the goodness of God. It does take no rocket scientist to read 1

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Corinthians 7, 1 -6 and to read Proverbs 5 and to say, this is a sinful kind of action.

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This is sinful behavior. I really have three words only to describe that nonsense that she wrote.

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My three words are poor reverend smithers. That's another sermon.

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Number four, sex with your spouse is for delight. Found in verse 19. It's for delight.

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This is the boldest he gets, but it's still language. It's fine. It's appropriate. It's good. A lovely deer, graceful doe, let her breasts fill you at all times with delight.

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With gladness. She's a prize. She's a jewel. She's charming.

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These animals used here, the deer and doe, they were delicate. They were filled with erotic meanings, gracefulness, metaphors that make clear what the text says.

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Do you see what it says here? Let her breasts, no one else's, men, we're required to look away from all other parts of the anatomy that's just described, but for our wives, we're to enjoy our wives.

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Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight. Fully satisfying you.

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One translation says, may her body always fill you with joy. Number five, for intoxication, for intoxication.

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Sex with your spouse is for intoxication. No temperance movement here. Verse 19, be intoxicated always in her love.

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NES says, be exhilarated. King James, be thou ravished always.

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New International Version 1984, be captivated by her love. As alcohol influences you, let the love that you have for your wife, including in the marriage bed, affect you.

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Put a spell on you. That's the idea. The language over here in chapter five is drinking analogies and drinking imagery, and now it carries over here into drinking as well.

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Be intoxicated always in her love. By the way, men, if you say, I don't love my spouse anymore, my words to you are simple, but very true, and I'm not kidding.

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Then repent. You're thinking, I don't have romantic feelings that I used to have when we courted or somehow during maybe the honeymoon.

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We're not talking about that kind of love in 1 Corinthians chapter 13, and we're not talking about this kind of love here either.

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This is just what you're supposed to do. Wholly captivated by her.

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So captivated, does Solomon want his son to be with his wife? And by the way, can't you look forward even if you have kids now,

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I have four kids, and as Pastor Cooley always says on their wedding days,

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I want to be, for instance, for my three daughters, I want to be the second most happy man at that wedding.

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The happiest being the man who had to give me the large dowry to take my children after we did 45 automatic gun lessons together for several years.

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This is the father wanting the son. And I said it once before, and I'll say it again because I think it's important.

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As odd it is for children as they get older to realize mom and dad have this kind of relationship.

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I don't want the parents to somehow say, you know what, thinking in an unbiblical way, in a way that Solomon would never think.

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You know, my kids, God has designed them to go through puberty, to have hormones, and most likely have a desire to be with another person of the opposite sex in marriage.

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That's a good thing. Solomon says, I want you to just have a wife and you just reel and you sway because you're so captivated by her.

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Do you know why? That's the actual translation. To reel or to sway. Intoxicated, inebriated with your wife and no one else.

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You can't restrain yourself any longer. You just see your wife and you think, you know, this is the woman of my dreams.

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And here's the idea. Young man, Solomon says, you will either be captivated and inebriated by your wife or you'll be captivated and inebriated by another woman.

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One commentator said, be deliciously dazed in the ecstasies of lovemaking.

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Drunk with conjugal love. That's exactly it. That word in her love right there, intoxicate always in her love, that's the sensual love.

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Take our fill of love till morning language. This is morally permissible.

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This is good. It's right. And number six, sex with your spouse is for protection.

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Verse 20. Verse 20 of Proverbs 5. Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?

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Say no to sexual immorality. Say yes to sexual morality. Don't be intoxicated with this forbidden woman.

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This prostitute. Because what happens? What happens?

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There's going to be trouble. And if you look at Proverbs 5, at the end, there, turn to a different passage here.

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Proverbs 5, verse 21. For a man's ways are before the eyes of the Lord. What you do in secret and in the dark,

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God sees whether that's sexual sin or sexual pleasure. If you're married.

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He ponders all his paths. Solomon says to his son, God's watching what you do.

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The iniquities of the wicked snare him, and he is held fast in the cords of his sin.

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He dies for lack of discipline, and because of his great folly, he is led astray. Give a little bit of advice, and then we'll try to wrap things up.

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For couples, specifically, it is your God -given command, duty, privilege, and delight to seek to please each other and the

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Lord with your bodies. Couples, may I remind you that the primary relationship in the home is husband and wife, and one day all your kids will leave the house.

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Some of you are probably saying, hallelujah. And it will be you. And so I want to try to have you, both men and women, to cultivate relationship that of course has many other aspects besides sex, but it does include sex.

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Lots of times, Kim and I will tell the kids, you know, we love you guys so much that we're going to go out tonight on a date.

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We love you that much because we're going to go out together. And by the way, I think couples, there is a right way to be amorous in front of your children.

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For Kim and I, of course, appropriate only, but when I get home and kind of grab her and bring her in close and start kissing her appropriately, it takes about, we have something called the eight second rule.

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And within eight seconds, every kid will try to come over to us, try to get in between us, and it's just like, okay, this is the eight second rule.

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Mom and dad are kissing, let's all go attack. It gives them security. So we're in our neighborhood and yesterday

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I saw the U -Haul come up. And the U -Haul was packing up the stuff from the wife because she was going to separate from the husband.

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And I said to the, and my little girl, she said to me, you're never going to do that, right daddy? And I said,

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I should have said this, but I didn't think of it again. I'm drunk with your mom's love. That's what

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I'm drunk with. I'm never leaving her. But I said, I'm not leaving because I'm committed, because I want to honor God and honor you and honor her.

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There's a right way to display behavior, husband to wives and vice versa.

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It's appropriate. I think it increases security in their hearts. Furthermore, let me say this.

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I think there's the right way that husbands and wives sit down with their kids and talk about this subject.

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Talk about this subject. The times that Kim and I have said to our older kids, this is what God thinks about the subject.

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This is how He created it. This is why it's good. This is why it's fun. This is why it's pleasurable. This is what God does in marriage.

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It's either going to be you or someone else. So couples,

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I think you should say it would be a joy to satisfy my spouse in this area. Husbands, I don't know what your attitudes are, but if your attitude is to be selfish all day long and then at 10 .30,

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quote 1 Corinthians 7, I'd like to talk to you after the service. We'll have a little altar call afterwards, our only altar call, and you come right up here to talk to me.

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Kindness, love letters, flowers, whatever you know your wife likes.

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I think one of the best things a husband could do to encourage a godly response from the wife is to provide for your family.

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To work. I don't know if you think that's romantic or not, but if I was a woman, I think it would be.

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Does that make sense? Where's my wife? I think this desire that men and women have should motivate, especially guys, to be proactive in preventative maintenance and keeping that garden tended.

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Resolution of conflicts and forgiveness. I'll go so far to say that if you're the husband, you are the leader of the family and the way your family operates now, it's 100 % your responsibility.

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Not 50 -50. She may be guilty, but your responsibility as the leader is all yours.

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And you are put together in such a close, matrimonial, holy covenant of marriage that as one man said, that closeness will either grant you both more joy or it will embitter you against one another.

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It has to do only one of the two things. Just a couple things

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I might say to the ladies. One, if you're always too tired for your husband, then your priorities are wrong.

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It's not, husband is here and my kids are here. I know it's difficult.

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By the way, I'm really happy that there are seasons of life. Now we have kids that can just babysit themselves.

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As long as I say hallelujah, I don't have to cut any kids meat. I don't have to put diapers on any kids.

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I don't have to strap them in the car. They're just all functional. We're just like, okay, go run around the neighborhood for a few hours.

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We'll see you later. Mom and dad are going out. There's just different seasons in life.

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What was I talking about? I have no idea what I'm talking about. This is why I'm not really big in application usually when

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I preach. You should be more applicable when you're preaching. It's hard.

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My wife has said, when you have three kids that are all under five years old, it's hard to think in a way that's like a wife instead of like a mother.

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It's difficult. I just want to remind you ladies, in light of Proverbs 5 and in light of 1

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Corinthians 7 and in light of men's visual looking and all the onslaughts that they receive, it is good to make sure your husband is a priority.

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I did hear from one writer this week that wrote in and said they were listening to a talk show.

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A counselor on the radio this week. It wasn't no compromise radio by the way. This lady was kind of miffed because her husband's propositions are too much.

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The counselor said, may I ask how old you are? Call her. I'm 45. Okay, let me get this straight.

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You're probably a bit wrinkly. You probably have to dye your hair and it wouldn't be unreasonable to assume you have a couple of extra pounds that you're trying to get rid of.

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And your husband worships the ground you walk on. He wants to be with you more than any other woman in the entire world and you still excite him more than anyone else does.

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You're the queen of his world and you're complaining about this? In a few years, no one will be interested in you.

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I think you ought to thank God you have such a great loving husband and get over it.

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Do you have any real problems to talk about? It goes both ways, but I think for wives especially, if I could just give you some more biblical advice, and that is, if you have been saved by grace, then

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I think you ought to operate by grace as well. Work says, you do that for me and I'll do that for you.

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Work says, you've bugged me and therefore then I'm bugged. There'll be no response from me.

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Work says, you know, really compared to Jesus, I'm equal with Him and so I'd expect you to be like Jesus and once you are, then

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I'll be kind and loving towards you. For both husbands and wives, it's important. If you've been saved by grace, how do you think you should treat your spouse?

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With grace. Unearned, unmerited. It doesn't mean there isn't responsibility for husbands to lead and to be romantic and to be kind and to love from the second they get up in the morning.

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I'll never forget when Rick Phillips said this and so I've stolen it. I don't even know if my wife's in here or not.

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It's a lot easier. She's probably in the overflow room. Rick Phillips says this. You should say this to your spouse for the right reasons and for this reason as well.

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Honey, how could I serve you today? He said that and I thought, that's the attitude of the leader.

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Loving, self -sacrificial, Christ loving the church, husbands love your wife like Christ loving the church.

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How could I serve you today? I think we better get to the singles series.

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If you're married, God wants you to have a happy marriage. And if you're physically able to, the happy marriage that God has designed must include a relationship of intimacy.

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It has to. Or we go right back to what R .C. Sproul said again. So you think you're wiser than God then?

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Next week we'll talk about singles who want to avoid sexual immorality. Let's pray.

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Thank you, Father, for this time. I pray that you'd bless every marriage. The visitors who have come who are married,

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I pray that you'd bless them as well. You give us so much. We have the greatest gift, justification, based on your

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Son's perfect work. We have His righteousness. He bore our sin. You raised Him from the dead.

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Now you gave us everything else. And for those who are married, you gave us our spouses. Help us to treat them like they are.

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A gift from your good, sovereign hand. I pray that there would be much enjoyment between spouses in every area of their lives.

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For those that need it, I pray that there would be repentance. And Father, I pray that Bethlehem Bible Church would be known across this community as a church where husbands and wives just really love each other.

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Father, through this area and other areas as well, we know that you know everything.

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You're perfectly acquainted with every detail in our life. You still love us. Help us to love other people that exact same way.

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We thank you for Solomon's words in chapter 5 of Proverbs and 1 Corinthians chapter 7 as well.

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Father, it's good to laugh about it, but we want to obey. So would you help us through your

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Spirit to be husbands who love our wives like Christ loved the church and wives who come underneath the authority of their husband, underneath God's authority, and submit to them.

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Father, for those who are single today, I pray that you would undergird them, that you would grant them their desire, and that is if it's for a wife or a spouse or husband,

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I pray that you would grant them that. In the meantime, would you protect them from sexual sin and sexual impurity.

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Father, for our kids, we pray the same thing. As our kids grow up, it is our desire to have you save them,

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Father, and then grant them saved spouses. And then grant them from the honeymoon night on just wonderful infatuation, wonderful inebriation, wonderful joy and delight and blessing.

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Father, it seems like the only kind of bliss that could be possible after the fall is marital bliss.

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And I pray that through repentance, confession, and Holy Spirit -driven obedience,

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Bethlehem Bible Church, people today, the visitors today as well, in Jesus' name,