December 10, 2019 Show with Dr. Latayne C. Scott AND Dr. Beth Robinson on “Protecting Your Child from Predators: How to Recognize & Respond to Sexual Danger (Part 2)”

The Purpose of Iron Sharpens Iron Radio and the Need for the Topic

Live from the historic parsonage of the 19th century gospel minister George Norcross in downtown Carlisle, Pennsylvania, it's Iron Sharpens Iron. This is a radio platform in which pastors, Christian scholars, and theologians address the burning issues facing the church and the world today.

Proverbs chapter 27 verse 17 tells us iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. Matthew Henry said that in this passage, we are cautioned to take heed with whom we converse and directed to have a view in conversation to make one another wiser and better.

It is our hope that this goal will be accomplished over the next two hours, and we hope to hear from you, the listener, with your own questions. And now here's your host, Chris Arnzen.

Good afternoon Cumberland County, Pennsylvania, Lake City, Florida, and the rest of humanity living on the planet Earth who are listening via live streaming at ironsharpensironradio .com. This is Chris Arnzen, your host of Iron Sharpens Iron Radio, wishing you all a happy Tuesday on this 10th day of December, 2019.

And I'm thrilled to have back two guests that are going to be addressing part two of a subject that we began a number of months ago. This is a very vital topic. I can't think of a more vital topic actually outside of those theological issues that have salvific weight to them.

Today we're going to be addressing part two of Protecting Your Child from Predators, How to Recognize and Respond to Sexual Danger, and our guests to discuss this are the two co-authors of this book by the same title, Dr. Latane C. Scott, award-winning veteran of the Christian publishing industry, having written over two dozen books and having earned a Ph .D. in biblical studies, and Dr. Beth Robinson, licensed professional counselor and approved supervisor for licensed professional counselors and certified school counselor with a teaching certificate and a frequent expert witness in legal proceedings involving sexual abuse.

And this is our subject again today, Protecting Your Child from Predators, How to Recognize and Respond to Sexual Danger, and this is part two. And it's my honor and privilege to welcome Dr. Latane C. Scott and Dr. Beth Robinson back to the program.

Thank you, Chris. Thank you for having us both back, Chris.

Great. And before we go into some of the things that we didn't cover last time, like I understand, Dr. Latane Scott, you have some information that was a catalyst for this information was a New York Times article on, I believe, internet games or video games.

I'm not even sure what they call them these days. I'm constantly dating myself when I try to describe these things. But if you could, we'll start with Dr. Beth Robinson and then go on to Latane. For those of our listeners who missed the first part of this program that we did several months ago, can you tell our listeners why you felt a need to add this book, Protecting Your Child from Predators, to the information that is currently available out there, whether it be in conference form on MP3 or CD or DVD or two other books that might be addressing the same issue?

What was the pressing need that you saw in this particular book?

Importance of this book situation so that both child and parent are equipped. In essence, let's put, you know, instead of putting the ambulance at the bottom of a cliff, let's build a fence at the top so people don't fall off.

You know, I just see such a great, great need out there. And there's not a book that really is just a variety of situations and recognizing that both kids and parents deal with dangerous situations.

And Dr. Latane Scott, I know that you're going to be addressing that New York Times article I just mentioned. But would you say that even though this horrific issue of child molestation, child abuse, sexual has been going on since the dawn of man, would you say that this has been really more widespread and even more complicated and easier to hide in the 21st century due to the technology that we have available?

Well, I do know that things that were not available to kids when I was a kid are now available, like internet porn and how to approach a child. Those things didn't exist when I was a kid, nor did they exist when my children were little.

So this really is a different world. And what Dr. Beth has done is take the experience of other parents and let you see how good parents can find themselves in a situation where their child has been approached or abused.

And then the hope that she gives to the reader as she gave to the parents about some sort of help and restoration of the soul. So Dr. Beth's done a really remarkable service to the body of Christ by using her vast experience in situations where people who are either in the situation or want to avoid the situation.

The New York Times Video Game Article and Online Predators

Now, we might as well start the program off with something that we know we didn't cover last time, and that is the aforementioned New York Times article. If you could begin, Dr. Scott.

Well, the article starts with a scenario, which is exactly what we do in our book, is we give a scenario of a parent, in this case a New York Times article, with a 13-year-old boy that his mom knew that Grand Theft Auto was too violent for him, so she forbade him to play that game.

But he did Minecraft and Fortnite, which are common video games.

Oh, so they still do use the term video games.

Oh yeah, in fact, the article does. Yeah, video games. But six weeks later, she is looking on the screen and she sees bestiality between a young boy and an animal.

Wow.

And her son about it, enormously relieved that his mom had found that. It was enormously, a horrible burden on that young soul, you know, that young mind.

Well, I'm going to give our listeners our email address right now, if you'd like to join us on the air with a question of your own. For Dr. Latane C. Scott and Dr. Beth Robinson, co-authors of Protecting Your Child from Predators, our email address is chrisarnsen at gmail .com.

C-H-R-I-S-A-R-N-Z-E-N at gmail .com. Please, as always, give us your first name, at least, your city and state of residence, and your country of residence, if you live outside the USA. Only remain anonymous if your question involves a personal and private matter.

And I could readily understand with a topic like this, there might be many people out there that have personal and private questions that would warrant that they remain anonymous. And we will, obviously, be more than happy to fulfill your request to keep you anonymous.

But if it's just a general question, please at least give us your first name, city and state and country of residence. Dr. Scott, this game that you were speaking of that featured bestiality, assuming in an animated or cartoon form involving artwork rather than...

Oh, the game.

Right.

Now, the game did not become a chat room having to do with the game. In archaeology, we might go to a site that specializes in archaeology to talk about it, although we wouldn't actually be at an archaeological gig.

In the same way, a kid who's interested in a game, the game itself does not contain these images. That was once he gets involved in conversations online with people about it. In this particular scenario, the young boy was approached by someone who began...

Wow. What a nightmare for a parent to discover. By the way, a quick sidebar that has nothing to do with this topic. I want to make sure I mention this to you before I forget, Dr. Scott. You likely already know about this, but I was watching a documentary series.

I think it was called or is called Lost Cities of the Bible. They featured your friend and co-author, Dr. Stephen Collins, on the city of Sodom that he is absolutely certain that he has discovered. I was utterly blown away that this secular program featuring a secular host who made no profession of belief in Christianity or any other religion.

At the conclusion of the program, if you did not see it, he said something amazing, which, doubly amazing because of the subject matter of the history behind Sodom. He said that he began this program, and of course I'm paraphrasing because I don't have his exact wording in front of me, but he said, when I entered into this topic for our program today, I had a great deal of skepticism and thought that we would just be uncovering myths and legends, but I now believe that this site of Sodom, due to the severity of the destruction here, could very well be due to the hand of God himself.

Something very close. Wow. You didn't see that?

No, but that's fantastic. I'll have to look for it.

Yeah, I'm almost certain it's called the Lost Cities of the Bible or something very close to that. And it was not a Christian program. What are, if you could both chime in, and also let me inform both of you, that if you have a question that you would like to ask the other guest, or if you just have something that you want to include into an answer into the discussion, you don't have to wait for me to address you, just chime right in with whatever you have to say, as long as you sense that there's an opening there in the conversation.

Great, great.

Stranger Danger, Familiar Predators, and False Assumptions

But perhaps, Dr. Beth Robinson, we could start with you. What are some of the misconceptions, fallacies, things that parents and people in general, perhaps for decades, perhaps for much longer than that, believed about this subject that today we could write off as error for the sake of the safety of our children?

Things that parents may have been holding to as truths that have been proven to be false, or just day-to-day practices in their lives that they thought were protecting their children, but have proven to be inadequate or dangerous.

If you could, anything that you can think of that our listeners may have even adopted as truths in regarding to predators of children, and so on.

I think the first one is that we have taught stranger danger for probably 50 or 60 years or more, and the reality is that 90 is known by the child and the family. And so a stranger in a dark trench coat, when in reality it's somebody else.

And then I would say 80 could be other children, and as the news media portrays now, we're seeing more women. I can remember when I started out as a counselor, I didn't ask if there had been a female who I was working with.

Historically, we have thought that a church are good people, good moral people. But recognize that because we are so trusting in churches, it opened up the opportunity for our children to be vulnerable.

Thanks. What do you think, LaTanya? No, I think you pretty well covered it. I'm glad you mentioned about the women, because today on major news networks was a story that's coming out more and more of teachers, women teachers who sexually, and that is something that's on the news all the time.

Gosh, I never heard of that when I was younger. It never entered my mind, like you said.

Now, having said what you said, the frequency of the predators and the molesters being people that are very familiar to the family, perhaps even members of the family, but just close enough where they can gain access to children without being suspected, doing anything like that.

At the same time, what are some of the guidelines you might have when it comes to strangers? I am amazed at how often I encounter young children in public places whose parents are present, but perhaps 10 to 20 feet away or so, and the children will just run up to you.

For instance, which happened to me recently. Total stranger, engage in conversation with us. In fact, it just happened recently, much to my shock, in a men's room, a public men's room, a little boy came in alone and just struck up a conversation with me.

I remember when I left there, I was looking around to make sure I spotted the parents, and then sure enough, the mother was there, and the boy ran up to his mother and so on, and they were reconnected.

But it was alarming to me that she would allow a child that young, I'm speaking of four or younger, going into a men's room alone. But if you could, what are some of the things that parents can do without perhaps unnecessarily traumatizing their children to be terrified of every stranger that's near them?

The obvious thing is physically supervising their children, and they need to have eyes on their kids. With technology today, there are lots of times that I see parents out in public places where they're more engaged with their phone than they are in watching their children.

Huge concern, so much larger now than it ever used to be, and parents have got to pay attention. And I think this is more about the parent than the child. You know, your child should be with you in proximity to you in public places.

I even say to parents, you know, a lot of churches, and the parents will be standing around talking inside the church building, and their kids will go outside and play, supervising their child while they're inside.

You know, parents need to be out there. If parents are going to talk to other parents, they can all go outside and watch the kids on the playground, but I think it makes you more aware of supervision.

Now, can parents go overboard in frightening their children about the danger of strangers? I mean, can there be an excess in that area where every adult not known to that child is viewed as a possible criminal or a predator?

I don't really know, because we seem to have done a much better job of making our kids aware of strangers than we have making them aware of dangerous behaviors by people they know. You know, kids should not go to them easily.

They shouldn't talk to them easily. All of those things actually are indicative of attachment issues. Kids should only want to really talk with people they know, especially when they're younger. I am not aware of cases...

Now, I remember... Dr. Beth... Go ahead. I'm sorry.

Dr. Beth gives us a scenario in our book, Protecting Your Child from Predators. A single mother takes her young son, I think he was maybe a 4-year-old or so, to a playground, and she thought she was being very responsible by sitting at a table right outside that playground, but she did not realize that there were places in that playground, you know, the maze or what exactly it was, where another child had begun regularly sexually abusing her son.

And her son let her know, not wanting to go to the fast food restaurant anymore, when she realized that her son didn't have the words to be able to tell her, even if you're in proximity to them and you can't see them, to the child.

We have an anonymous listener who has said, a number of years ago there was an outcry, primarily it seemed by feminists, who were appalled by parents who would use things that looked like leashes to make sure that their children were never in harm's way, and where the parent could always easily see and have access to the child.

These were not things that would harm physically the child, that would go around the neck or anything like that, but they were commonly called child leashes. It seems to have disappeared from the spotlight in recent years.

Would you advise using things like that to make sure that your younger children, while walking through a shopping center or mall or other crowded place, could always be easily observed?

More children than you have hands. You probably need another adult with you when you're going through those places. I have seen on occasion special needs children, for instance an autistic child or a child who may not have impulse control, where a parent has chosen to put one of those kind of a harness on them with the child because they do know they have a child.

In those cases, for safety, I see that as very okay. My preference personally would be that parents hold the hands of their kids with a shopping basket.

The bottom line is that you don't totally object to something that looks somewhat like a leash. I would think that what something looks like is infinitely less important than the protection it may provide, especially if the device that is being used is not in any way physically harmful.

I have to tell the story about my friend Nancy. People in Albuquerque will probably recognize her. Nancy had a very active son named Jonathan. Someone had told her on their trip to the Grand Canyon that she needed to get one of these leash-type things.

She put the leash on the son. They got to a parking area at the Grand Canyon. Only by running after him and grabbing the end of this leash, which she had put on him, did she keep him from going over the edge of the Grand Canyon.

Wow. When you think about it, anybody could easily say the same thing about a crib. Why are you putting your child in a cage? It looks like a cage, but it's something that has been used for over a century as a place where children can sleep and play.

They used to be made out of wood and had bars, but they may look different these days. Very often they look like a cage, but you're not treating your child like an animal just because it's something that may resemble something that is involving animals.

Am I right on that?

Yes, yes. I'm sorry. I agree.

By the way, anonymous listener, if you are off-air, obviously, email me your full name and your full mailing address. You will receive a free copy of the book that we are addressing today by our guests, Dr. Beth Robinson and Dr. Latane C. Scott, Protecting Your Child from Predators, How to Recognize and Respond to Sexual Danger, and send that to the same address where you sent your question.

Email address, I should say. And CVBBS .com, Cumberland Valley Bible Book Service, will ship that out to you as soon as possible. And we want to thank our friends at Baker Books for providing us with these free copies of the book that we are addressing today.

We are going to our very first commercial break today. We ask of you to use this time wisely and write down questions for Dr. Beth Robinson and Dr. Latane C. Scott and send them to chrisarnson at gmail .com, chrisarnson at gmail .com.

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The Danger of Familiar People and the Need for Supervision

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We are now back with our guests today, Dr. Latine C. Scott and Dr. Beth Robinson, and we are discussing their very valuable book, Protecting Your Child from Predators, How to Recognize and Respond to Sexual Danger.

And if you'd like to ask a question of your own, our email address is ChrisOrensen at gmail .com. ChrisOrensen at gmail .com. We have Grady in Asheboro, North Carolina, who asks, Greetings Chris, a much-needed show and book.

I keep hearing those that have been abused as children saying that a relative or person in authority over them did the abusing. How should someone prevent this from happening to their own children? Is it proper to do background checks on those in authority, such as teachers, babysitters, and even church members?

I know that I believe in this day and age, churches that have nurseries and things like that, they require, I believe, anyone who is volunteering in those positions of watching over the children to have an FBI background check.

I know in the congregation where I'm a member, that was required of the people who volunteered. But anyway, if you could, either one who would like to start with that, either Beth or Latane.

I think in this day and time, I'm concerned about, in addition to that, supervision where there are little league practices.

Well, obviously with Uncle Jim and Aunt Loretta and Cousin Bob and so on, you're not going to say that before I let you play with my children. I'm going to have a background check on you. How do parents protect their own children from those that are closest to them, who they love, who they've known for decades?

Obviously, since we've already mentioned that very often, sadly and tragically, these are the very ones that are molesting our children.

We pay attention to pay attention to single out our child and spend time with them. The biggest warning sign I try to teach parents is that you really need to pay attention to people who want to spend time with you.

The second thing, again, is like I talked about intrusive supervision. I am that parent. I may not even have to interact with my kid, but I want to get up from the dining room table at a family gathering and walk in and see what the kids are doing.

If they're in the living room or they're in the basement, I want to walk in and see what's going on.

Latane, do you have anything to add? Latane, are you there? I don't know if Latane is still with us.