December 10, 2019 Show with Dr. Latayne C. Scott AND Dr. Beth Robinson on “Protecting Your Child from Predators: How to Recognize & Respond to Sexual Danger (Part 2)”

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Christian scholars, and theologians address the burning issues facing the church and the world today.

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Proverbs chapter 27 verse 17 tells us iron sharpens iron so one man sharpens another.

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Chris Arnzen. Good afternoon

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Cumberland County, Pennsylvania, Lake City, Florida, and the rest of humanity living on the planet earth who are listening via live streaming at IronSharpensIronRadio .com.

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This is Chris Arnzen, your host of Iron Sharpens Iron Radio wishing you all a happy Tuesday on this 10th day of December 2019 and I'm thrilled to have back two guests that are going to be addressing part two of a subject that we began a number of months ago.

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This is a very vital topic, I can't think of a more vital topic actually outside of those theological issues that have salvific weight to them.

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Today we're going to be addressing part two of protecting your child from predators, how to recognize and respond to sexual danger and our guests to discuss this are the two co -authors of this book by the same title,

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Dr. Latene C. Scott, award -winning veteran of the Christian publishing industry, having written over two dozen books and having earned a

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Ph .D. in biblical studies and Dr. Beth Robinson, licensed professional counselor and approved supervisor for licensed professional counselors and certified school counselor with a teaching certificate and a frequent expert witness in legal proceedings involving sexual abuse and this is our subject again today, protecting your child from predators, how to recognize and respond to sexual danger and this is part two and it's my honor and privilege to welcome

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Dr. Latene C. Scott and Dr. Beth Robinson back to the program. Thank you

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Chris. Thank you for having us both back Chris. Great and before we go into some of the things that we didn't cover last time, like I understand

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Dr. Latene Scott, you have some information that was a catalyst for this information was a

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New York Times article on, I believe, internet games or video games,

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I'm not even sure what they call them these days, I'm constantly dating myself when I try to describe these things, but if you could, we'll start with Dr.

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Beth Robinson and then go on to Latene. For those of our listeners who missed the first part of this program that we did several months ago, can you tell our listeners why you felt a need to add this book,

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Protecting Your Child from Predators, to the information that is currently available out there, whether it be in conference form on MP3 or CD or DVD or two other books that might be addressing the same issue.

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What was the pressing need that you saw in this particular book? Well, I have spent almost 30 years working with children who have been sexually abused as a counselor and the importance of this book is instead of us addressing sexual abuse after it happens, let's prepare parents and children to recognize when a predator is trying to approach a child or when they're in a dangerous situation so that both child and parent are equipped to try to stop sexual abuse before it happens.

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In essence, let's put, you know, instead of putting the ambulance at the bottom of a cliff, let's build a fence at the top so people don't fall off.

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And you know, I just see such a great, great need out there and there's not a book that really is just for parents that goes from birth to 18 that talks about a variety of situations and red flags that parents should recognize in those situations and ways that kids and parents can be equipped to deal with dangerous situations.

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And Dr. Latane Scott, I know that you're going to be addressing that New York Times article I just mentioned, but would you say that even though this horrific issue of child molestation, child abuse, sexual abuse has been going on since the dawn of man, would you say that this has been really more widespread and even more complicated and easier to hide in the 21st century due to the technology that we have available?

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Well, I do know that things that were not available to kids when I was a kid are now available, like internet porn and chat rooms where a predator can approach a child.

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Those things didn't exist when I was a kid, nor did they exist when my children were little. So this really is a different world and what

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Dr. Beth has done is take the experience of other parents that she's counseled with and let you see how good parents can find themselves in a situation where their child has been approached or abused, and then the hope that she gives to the reader as she gave to the parents about some sort of help and restoration of the soul for the child and the parents in the situation.

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So Dr. Beth's done a really remarkable service to the body of Christ by using her vast experience of different situations and in giving spiritual advice and spiritual counsel to people who are either in the situation or want to avoid the situations that she describes.

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Now we might as well start the program off with something that we know we didn't cover last time, and that is the aforementioned

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New York Times article. If you could begin, Dr. Scott. Well, the

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New York Times article starts with a scenario, which is exactly what we do in our book, is we give a scenario of a parent who thinks they're doing the right thing, and in this case, it starts out in the

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New York Times article with a 13 -year -old boy that his mom knew that Grand Theft Auto was too violent for him, so she forbade him to play that game, but he did

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Minecraft and Fortnite, which are common video games.

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Oh, so they still do use the term video games. Oh yeah, in fact, the article does, yeah, video games.

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But six weeks later, she is looking on the screen and she sees a video of bestiality between a young boy and an animal.

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Wow. And she is shocked, and she asked her son about it, and her son was enormously relieved that his mom had found that.

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You'd think he'd be, you know, well, of course he was ashamed, but he was enormously relieved because this had put a horrible burden on that young soul, that young mind, to be approached through a chat room or an associated

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Internet site that was connected to the game. And so this situation is one that, like other situations, if you know what to look for, then you're not going to get in the same situation.

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Well, I'm going to give our listeners our email address right now, if you'd like to join us on the air with a question of your own for Dr.

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Latane C. Scott and Dr. Beth Robinson, co -authors of Protecting Your Child from Predators.

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Our email address is chrisarnsen at gmail .com, C -H -R -I -S -A -R -N -Z -E -N at gmail .com.

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Please, as always, give us your first name, at least, your city and state of residence, and your country of residence, if you live outside the

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USA. Only remain anonymous if your question involves a personal or private matter, and I could readily understand with a topic like this, there might be many people out there that have personal and private questions that would warrant that they remain anonymous, and we will obviously be more than happy to fulfill your request to keep you anonymous.

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But if it's just a general question, please at least give us your first name, city and state and country of residence. Dr. Scott, this game that you were speaking of that featured bestiality, assuming in an animated or cartoon form involving artwork rather than...

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The game did not. The game itself did not feature this. The child became involved with a chat room having to do with the game.

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For instance, if you and I are interested in archaeology, we might go to a site that specializes in archaeology to talk about it, although we wouldn't actually be at an archaeological gig.

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In the same way, a kid who's interested in a game, the game itself does not contain these images.

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That was once he gets involved in conversations online with people about it.

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That is, in this particular scenario, the young boy was approached by someone who began sending him these pornographic images.

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Wow. What a nightmare for a parent to discover.

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By the way, a quick sidebar that has nothing to do with this topic. I want to make sure I mention this to you before I forget,

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Dr. Scott. You likely already know about this, but I was watching a documentary series.

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I think it was called, or is called, Lost Cities of the Bible. They featured your friend and co -author,

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Dr. Stephen Collins, on the city of Sodom that he is absolutely certain that he has discovered.

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I was utterly blown away that this secular program featuring a secular host who made no profession of belief in Christianity or any other religion.

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At the conclusion of the program, if you did not see it, he said something amazing, which was doubly amazing because of the subject matter of the history behind Sodom.

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He said that he began this program, and of course I'm paraphrasing because I don't have his exact wording in front of me.

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But he said, when I entered into this topic for our program today,

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I had a great deal of skepticism and thought that we would just be uncovering myths and legends.

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But I now believe that this site of Sodom, due to the severity of the destruction here, could very well be due to the hand of God himself.

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Something very close. You didn't see that? No, but that's fantastic.

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I'll have to look for it. Yeah, I'm almost certain it's called the Lost Cities of the

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Bible or something very close to that. And it was not a Christian program.

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Correct. What are, if you could both chime in, and also let me inform both of you, that if you have a question that you would like to ask the other guest, or if you just have something that you want to include into an answer, into the discussion, you don't have to wait for me to address you, just chime right in with whatever you have to say, as long as you sense that there's an opening there in the conversation.

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Great, great. But perhaps, Dr. Beth Robinson, we could start with you.

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What are some of the misconceptions, fallacies, things that parents and people in general, perhaps for decades, perhaps for much longer than that, believed about this subject that today we could write off as error for the sake of the safety of our children?

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Things that parents may have been holding to as truths that have been proven to be false, or just day -to -day practices in their lives that they thought were protecting their children but have proven to be inadequate or dangerous.

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If you could, anything that you can think of that our listeners may have even adopted as truths in regarding to predators of children and so on.

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I think the first one is that we have taught stranger danger for probably 50 or 60 years or more, and the reality is that 90 % of predators are someone known by the child and the family.

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And so there's this kind of myth that it's this stranger in a dark trench coat, when in reality, it's somebody that was probably invited into our own home.

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And then I would say another major concern is that we have tended to assume that most perpetrators will be adult males, and the research shows that about 20 % could be other children, and as the news media portrays now, we're seeing more women caught as predators.

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I can remember when I started out as a counselor, I didn't ask if there had been a female who had perpetrated against a kid.

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We didn't ever think about that, and it was early in my career the first time that that information came out about a mother of a child

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I was working with. And so I think that we have tended historically to think it's not women.

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I think historically we have thought that somebody who's going to hurt children would not go to church.

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I mean, people who go to church are good people, good moral people, and we haven't recognized that because we are so trusting in churches that it has opened up the opportunity for our children to be vulnerable.

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So those would be some of the things. What do you think, Latayne? What have I forgotten? No, I think you pretty well covered it.

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I'm glad you mentioned about the women because today on major news networks was a story that's coming out more and more of teachers, women teachers, who sexually engage with their underage students.

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And that is something that's on the news all the time. Gosh, I never heard of that when I was younger.

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It never entered my mind, like you said. Now, having said what you said, the frequency of the predators and the molesters being people that are very familiar to the family, perhaps even members of the family, but just close enough where they can gain access to children without being suspected of doing anything like that.

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At the same time, what are some of the guidelines you might have when it comes to strangers?

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I am amazed at how often I encounter young children in public places whose parents are present, but perhaps 10 to 20 feet away or so, and the children will just run up to you.

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For instance, which happened to me recently. Total stranger, engage in conversation with us.

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In fact, it just happened recently, much to my shock, in a men's room, a public men's room, a little boy came in alone and just struck up a conversation with me.

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I remember when I left there, I was looking around to make sure I spotted the parents, and sure enough, the mother was there, and the boy ran up to his mother and so on, and they were reconnected.

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But it was alarming to me that she would allow a child that young, I'm speaking of four or younger, going into a men's room alone.

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But if you could, what are some of the things that parents can do without perhaps unnecessarily traumatizing their children to be terrified of every stranger that's near them?

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Well, I think one of the most obvious things is parents need to actually be physically supervising their children, and they need to have eyes on their kids.

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With technology today, there are lots of times that I see parents out in public places where they're more engaged with their phone than they are in watching their children.

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And one of the huge concerns I have about that with strangers now is abduction of children into sex trafficking is so much larger now than it ever used to be, and parents have got to pay attention.

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And I think this is more about the parent than the child. You know, your child should be with you in proximity to you in public places.

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I even say to parents, you know, a lot of churches now have playgrounds, and the parents will be standing around talking inside the church building, and their kids will go outside and play on the playground and supervising their child while they're inside.

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You know, parents need to be out there. If parents are going to talk to other parents, they can all go outside and watch the kids on the playground so the kids are supervised.

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I don't think that makes your kids scared of strangers. I think it makes you more aware of supervision.

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Now, can parents go overboard in frightening their children about the danger of strangers?

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I mean, can there be an excess in that area where every adult not known to that child is viewed as a possible criminal or a predator?

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I don't really know, because we seem to have done a much better job of making our kids aware of strangers than we have making them aware of dangerous behaviors by people they know.

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You know, kids should not feel comfortable around people they don't know well. They should not go to them easily.

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They shouldn't talk to them easily. All of those things actually are indicative of attachment issues frequently with kids.

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Kids should only want to really talk with people they know, especially when they're younger. So, I am not aware of cases where parents have scared them too much.

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That could exist. I'm just not aware of it. Now, I remember... Go ahead.

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I'm sorry. Dr. Beth gives us a scenario in our book,

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Protecting Your Child from Predators, in which a single mother takes her young son,

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I think he was maybe a four -year -old or so, to a fast food playground.

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And she thought she was being very responsible by sitting at a table right outside that playground.

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But she did not realize that there were places in that playground, you know, the maze or the ball court.

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I don't even know what exactly it was. But where another child had begun regularly sexually abusing her son.

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And her son let her know by not wanting to go to the fast food restaurant anymore.

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When she realized that her son didn't have the words to be able to tell her that something bad had happened, she started investigating.

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But the point is that even if you're in proximity to them and you can't see them, that's a problem.

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Which means you have to lift your eyes up from the phone to the child. We have an anonymous listener who has said a number of years ago there was an outcry primarily it seemed by feminists who were appalled by parents who would use things that looked like leashes to make sure that their children were never in harm's way and where the parent could always easily see and have access to the child.

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These were not things that would harm physically the child that would go around the neck or anything like that.

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But they were commonly called child leashes. It seems to have disappeared from the spotlight in recent years.

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Would you advise using things like that to make sure that your younger children while walking through a shopping center or mall or other crowded place could always be easily observed?

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Well, I think there's a lot of value to just holding a child's hand when you're going through those places. If you have more children than you have hands you probably need another adult with you when you're going through those places.

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I have seen on occasion special needs children for instance an autistic child or a child who may not have impulse control where a parent has chosen to put one of those kind of a harness on them with, you know, attachments where the parent can hold onto the child because they do know they have a child for instance who because of special needs might run out in traffic.

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So in those cases for safety I see that as very okay. You know, my preference personally would be that parents hold the hands of their kids when they go through a store or put them in a shopping basket so they know where those children are and those children are very close to them.

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But the bottom line is that you don't totally object to something that looks somewhat like a leash.

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I mean, I would think that what something looks like is infinitely less important than the protection it may provide especially if the device that is being used is not in any way physically harmful.

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Well, I agree. Go ahead, Latay. Excuse me,

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I have to tell the story about my friend Nancy and people in Albuquerque will probably recognize this story, but my friend

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Nancy had a very active son named Jonathan and someone had told her on their trip to the

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Grand Canyon that she needed to get one of these leash type things for her son and just because they had insisted she put the leash on the son they got to a parking area at the

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Grand Canyon and only by running after him and grabbing the end of this leash which she had put on him did she keep him from going over the edge of the

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Grand Canyon. Wow. They do have uses. Wow.

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And when you think about it anybody could easily say the same thing about a crib.

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Why are you putting your child in a cage? I mean, it's just it looks like a cage, but it's something that has been used for over a century as a place where children can sleep and play.

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They used to be made out of wood and had bars but they may look different these days but very often they look like a cage but you're not treating your child like an animal just because something may resemble something that is involving animals.

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Am I right on that? Yes. Yes. I'm sorry. I agree. And by the way anonymous listener if you were off air obviously email me your full name and your full mailing address you will receive a free copy of the book that we are addressing today by our guests

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Dr. Beth Robinson and Dr. Latane C. Scott Protecting Your Child from Predators How to Recognize and Respond to Sexual Danger and send that to the same address where you sent your question email address

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I should say and cvbbs .com Cumberland Valley Bible Book Service will ship that out to you as soon as possible and we want to thank our friends at Baker Books for providing us with these free copies of the book that we are addressing today we are going to our very first commercial break today we ask of you to use this time wisely and write down questions for Dr.

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Beth Robinson and Dr. Latane C. Scott and send them to chrisarnson at gmail .com chrisarnson at gmail .com

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and remember give us your first name city and state and country of residence if you live outside the USA and only remain anonymous if your question involves personal and private matter and in fact if it is a personal and private matter we would insist that you use an anonymous email so we look forward to hearing from you and we'll be right back right after these messages from our sponsors when

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to exist. They are a key financial supporter of this radio program and barring a miracle of God, I cannot see us being able to exist without their help and obviously the more you purchase from them the more likely they will remain our advertisers and sponsors.

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So with the holidays coming up and for every special event and also just to replenish your own personal library and your own personal edification, please always remember solid -ground -books .com

43:11

and always tell them that you heard about them from Chris Arnson on Iron Sharpens Iron Radio. We are now back with our guests today,

43:18

Dr. Latane C. Scott and Dr. Beth Robinson and we are discussing their very valuable book

43:26

Protecting Your Child from Predators, How to Recognize and Respond to Sexual Danger. And if you'd like to ask a question of your own, our email address is chrisarnson at gmail .com

43:37

chrisarnson at gmail .com We have Grady in Asheboro, North Carolina who asks,

43:45

Greetings Chris, a much -needed show and book. I keep hearing those that have been abused as children saying that a relative or person in authority over them did the abusing.

43:56

How should someone prevent this from happening to their own children? Is it proper to do background checks on those in authority such as teachers, babysitters and even church members?

44:08

I know that I believe in this day and age churches that have nurseries and things like that, they require,

44:18

I believe, anyone who is volunteering in those positions of watching over the children to have an

44:24

FBI background check. I know in the congregation where I'm a member, that was required of the people who volunteered.

44:30

But anyway, if you could, either one who would like to start with that, either Beth or Latane?

44:38

Well, I think in this day and time, Matt, it's very appropriate to do background checks.

44:43

I'm concerned about organizations that don't do background checks. I believe that we should be doing those.

44:50

But in addition to that, I like to see parents provide intrusive supervision where just because your kid's in a

44:57

Bible class doesn't mean that you don't get up sometimes and go check and make sure they're where they're supposed to be, even when they're small children.

45:04

And if they're in a little league practice, same thing. Some of the children's activities actually are ways that predators get access to them and so I am a firm believer in background checks.

45:16

Well, obviously, with Uncle Jim and Aunt Loretta and Cousin Bob and so on, you're not going to say, before I let you play with my children,

45:30

I'm going to have a background check on you. How do parents protect their own children from those that are closest to them, who they love, who they've known for decades?

45:41

Obviously, since we've already mentioned that very often, sadly and tragically, these are the very ones that are molesting our children.

45:50

I think one of the primary things we do is we pay attention to where our children are, even when we're at family gatherings. And we pay attention to adults who want to kind of single out our child and spend time with them.

46:01

That's the biggest warning sign I try to teach parents is that you really need to pay attention to people who want to spend one -to -one time with your child without another child or adult present.

46:14

The second thing, again, is like I talked about intrusive supervision. I am that parent. The parent that shows up when somebody doesn't want me to show up or doesn't think

46:24

I'll show up. And my kids roll their eyes and the other kids go, oh, there's your mom again.

46:30

I want to be that parent. I may not even have to interact with my kid, but I want to get up from the dining room table at a family gathering and walk in and see what the kids are doing.

46:42

You know, if they're in the living room or they're in the basement, I want to walk in and see what's going on. Letayne, do you have anything to add?

46:52

Letayne, are you there? I don't know if Letayne is still with us. I'm sorry. I lost my phone.

46:58

Does that? Here I am. One of the things that Dr. Beth addresses is a scenario that happened at a small group

47:06

Bible study. And I think this is so common in churches where you'll have a group of five or six couples that get together and they get their children together.

47:17

And the parents will study a book or a Bible passage or something in one room after they've perhaps had a meal.

47:24

And then the kids go in another room and the parents, you know, think the kids are going to be in there just playing and, you know, acting like kids.

47:31

But in this particular scenario that Dr. Robinson knew of and was called in to help with, there was one of the children who was sexually abusing several of the other children.

47:43

Wow. And any time a kid wants to be under a blanket with another kid or behind a couch or in a closet or anything like that,

47:52

I think, I'll let Dr. Beth address this, but, you know, parents, it is the responsibility of the parent not to think that any situation is safe just because it's a church situation or just because it's only kids that are in the situation.

48:10

Well, I would agree that we have tended to let kids go play again like we talked about with the scenario of the playground at church.

48:21

We have tended to think that our kids are safe because they're around other kids and in this day and time, we just don't know what those other kids' experiences have been.

48:30

Sadly, you know, it's not that kids generally come up with ideas to force other kids to engage in sexual behavior on their own.

48:37

They've either seen it through viewing pornography or because of something that's happened to them. And we don't know the background and history of every child our children will be playing with.

48:49

Thank you so much, Brady, for your excellent question and make sure we have your full mailing address because you've also won a free copy of the book we are addressing.

48:58

As long as you didn't win one last time, we had Dr. Latane and Dr. Beth on the program, but the book we are addressing today,

49:06

Protecting Your Child from Predators, give us your full mailing address if you didn't win the book last time and we'll have cvbbs .com

49:14

ship that out to you, Cumberland Valley Bible Book Service. And we thank, once again, our friends at Baker Publishing for providing us with these giveaway copies.

49:29

We have another anonymous listener who has a question that really involves something that you just said, or that you both said,

49:37

I believe. This anonymous listener asks, When does it cross the line from children being children to actual molestation?

49:48

You know, we always see little children that don't know any better touching each other in perhaps inappropriate ways.

49:55

Not inappropriate to them, perhaps, because they don't know what they're doing, but in the minds of an adult, it would be appropriate.

50:01

So, what is the age group, or is there a specific threshold where we could say,

50:07

OK, that is not just children being children, but it is child abuse? OK.

50:14

There's a lot of factors that go into that. First of all, the most normal age for kids to play doctor, or I'll show you mine, if you show me yours, is usually about four to five years of age.

50:27

If the kids are not engaging in coerced behavior, that's easily redirected when a parent treats it like any other inappropriate behavior and they say, you know, we don't show our private parts to other people, we keep our clothes on.

50:41

If that happens again, this is going to be the consequence. You know, you're going to have a time out, or things like that.

50:47

If it's normal child exploration, normal in quotes, we don't want any of it to happen, but if it's not child abuse, that usually redirects it.

50:58

OK? The things you look at in abusive relationships are, from child to child, does one child have significantly more knowledge about the sexual behaviors than the other child?

51:11

Is one child older or larger than the other child? And is one child talking the other child into it?

51:19

And so you kind of look at all three of those areas. But there's a clear difference in the demeanor and the emotional reaction of kids when it's kind of what we deem as developmentally normal exploration, because it's kind of playful, and then the kids stop when you tell them to stop.

51:40

If it's something more than that, it does not feel playful, and the kids are trying to hide it, they're trying to sneak around.

51:48

Those are the things you look for. And, obviously, one of the most evil sins that a human being can commit is the bearing of false witness and slander that could murder the reputation of somebody for the rest of their lives.

52:14

Jesus Christ even equates it with murder. And I think we, regardless of what anybody thinks about President Donald Trump, I think that we are seeing a lot of slander going on in the media of him right now because people are using mere speculation and gut instincts and things like that to publicly declare something very wicked about him.

52:42

And it is multiplied perhaps millions of times over in intensity and severity if anybody would dare to be singled out as a either possible child molester or a person who is guilty of that when we don't have hardcore facts to back that up.

53:00

How do we approach situations in our households during holidays especially perhaps when we are leery about somebody in the family or a visitor that we have some kind of instinct that there may be something wrong there but we don't want to, obviously, embarrass or humiliate or scar that person mentally by saying something in public about it.

53:26

And I'll have you both answer that question when we come back from our midway break which we are entering into right now because I don't want to interrupt you mid -sentence.

53:34

This is a longer break than normal. Grace Life Radio, 90 .1 FM in Lake City, Florida, requires of us this longer break because they have to localize

53:44

Iron Trump and Zion Radio to Lake City, Florida to adhere to FCC requirements.

53:49

So while they air their own public service announcements and other things that localize us to Lake City, Florida, we air our own globally heard commercials.

54:00

So use this time wisely. Write down the information provided by our advertisers so that you can more frequently and successfully patronize them which will mean they will more than likely remain as our advertisers which means that more than likely we will remain on the air for a longer period of time.

54:14

But also send in questions to Dr. Beth Robinson and Dr. Latancy Scott to chrisarnson at gmail .com

54:20

chrisarnson at gmail .com Don't go away. We'll be right back after these messages from our sponsors.

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NASB is my Bible of choice. I'm Pastor Jake Korn of Switzerland Community Church in Switzerland, Florida and the

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NASB is my Bible of choice. Here's a great way for your church to help keep

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Iron Sharpens Iron Radio on the air. Pastors, are your pew Bibles tattered and falling apart?

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Chris Arnzen and I are excited to be attending another G3 conference together in Atlanta, Georgia Thursday, January 16th through Saturday, January 18th on a theme that is vitally important to all of us

56:43

Worship Matters. I'll be on the speaking line up with Eric Thomas Joel Beeky, Paul Washer Steve Lawson, Phil Johnson Tom Askel, Votie Balcom and the world -renowned preacher, teacher and author

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John MacArthur. A fascinating new addition to the roster is Kosti Hinn, nephew of the notorious false teacher,

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Benny Hinn. Kosti has repented of the word -faith heresies of his youth and is now a Reformed Baptist pastor and cessationist in California.

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Come join me and Chris Arnzen at G3 2020 January 16th through the 18th in Atlanta by registering at g3conference .com

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I'm Dr. Tony Costa Professor of Apologetics and Islam at Toronto Baptist Seminary I'm thrilled to introduce to you a church where I've been invited to speak and have grown to love

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Hope Reformed Baptist Church in Corham, Long Island, New York pastored by Rich Jansen and Christopher McDowell It's such a joy to witness and experience fellowship with people of God like the dear saints at Hope Reformed Baptist Church in Corham who have an intensely passionate desire to continue digging deeper and deeper into the unfathomable riches of Christ in His Holy Word and to enthusiastically proclaim

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That's 631 -696 -5711 Tell the folks at Hope Reformed Baptist Church of Corham, Long Island, New York that you heard about them from Tony Costa on Iron Sharpens Iron Chris Sorensen, host of Iron Sharpens Iron Radio here

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I want to tell you about a man I have personally known for many years His name is Dan Buttafuoco Dan is a personal injury and medical malpractice lawyer but not a not the type that typically comes to mind.

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Dan handles serious injury and medical malpractice cases in all 50 states. He represents many

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He wrote the test for the National Board of Trial Advocacy. And currently his firm has over 100 cases that have settled for $1 million or more and in approximately 10 different states.

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If you have a serious personal injury or medical malpractice claim in any state, I recommend that you call

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1 -800 -669 -4878. Or email me for Dan's contact information at chrisarnson at gmail dot com.

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That's chrisarnson at gmail dot com. Every day at thousands of community centers, high schools, middle schools, juvenile institutions, coffee shops and local hangouts,

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Iron Sharpens Iron Radio listeners can help keep my show on the air is to support my advertisers. I know you all use batteries every day, so I'm urging you all from now on to exclusively use

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Pastor Bill Sousa, Grace Church at Franklin, here in the beautiful state of Tennessee.

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Our congregation is one of a growing number of churches who love and support

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Iron Sharpens Iron Radio financially. Grace Church at Franklin is an independent, autonomous body of believers which strives to clearly declare the whole counsel of God as revealed in Scripture through the person and work of our

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Lord Jesus Christ. And of course, the end of which we strive is the glory of God.

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If you live near Franklin, Tennessee, and Franklin is just south of Nashville, maybe 10 minutes, or you are visiting this area, or you have friends and loved ones nearby, we hope you will join us some

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Lord's Day in worshiping our God and Savior. Please feel free to contact me if you have more questions about Grace Church at Franklin.

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Our website is GraceChurchAtFranklin .org. That's GraceChurchAtFranklin .org.

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This is Pastor Bill Sousa wishing you all the richest blessings of our

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Sovereign Lord, God, Savior, and King, Jesus Christ, today and always.

01:06:13

Hi, I'm Buzz Taylor, frequent co -host with Chris Ironson on Iron Sharpens Iron Radio.

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I would like to introduce you to my good friends Todd and Patty Jennings at CVBBS, which stands for Cumberland Valley Bible Book Service.

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Todd and Patty specialize in supplying Reformed and Puritan books and Bibles at discount prices that make them affordable to everyone.

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That means you can get to the good stuff faster. It also means that you don't have to worry about being assaulted by the pornographic, heretical, and otherwise faith -insulting material promoted by the secular book vendors.

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Their website is CVBBS .com. Browse the pages at ease, shop at your leisure, and purchase with confidence as Todd and Patty work in service to you, the

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That's CVBBS .com. Let Todd and Patty know that you heard about them on Iron Sharpens Iron Radio.

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Always mention that you heard about CVBBS .com from Chris Arns on Iron Sharpens Iron Radio.

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And I have a huge favor to ask. If you're ordering from CVBBS .com,

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I strongly urge you to first visit another one of our sponsors, Solid -Ground -Books .com.

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And the reason I'm asking you to do that is that CVBBS .com is a book distributor and Solid Ground Christian Books, Solid -Ground -Books .com,

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is a publisher. So therefore, if you go to Solid -Ground -Books .com

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first, make a long list of books that they publish, and then go to CVBBS .com

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and order them. That way you bless both of our advertisers who are on different ends of the

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publishes at CVBBS .com. But go to the Solid -Ground -Books .com

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site first to make an exhaustive list before you go to CVBBS .com.

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That's just a request so we can keep both of our book -related advertisers happy. Before I return to our guest today,

01:09:16

Dr. Latane C. Scott and Dr. Beth Robinson on protecting your child from predators, we just have a couple of announcements for special events that are coming up that we hope you will attend.

01:09:28

Coming up on January 9th, Thursday, January 9th, Iron Sharpens Iron Radio is having our next pastor's luncheon, absolutely free of charge to all men in ministry leadership.

01:09:41

And I want to thank again my friend Dr. Latane C. Scott for bailing me out not long ago on the

01:09:47

Internet when a mob of feminists on the Internet started to attack me for having a luncheon only for men.

01:09:55

But she came to my defense amidst this Internet mob of feminists who were saying all kinds of horrific things about me.

01:10:03

But this is an event that was the brainchild of my precious late wife

01:10:08

Julie. Back in the 1990s, she knew that I had an extraordinary percentage of friends who were pastors and ministers and ministry leaders because of my work in Christian radio.

01:10:21

So she said one year, instead of us exchanging Christmas gifts, why don't we treat your friends in ministry to a pastor's luncheon right near Christmas time.

01:10:32

And I have typically, even though we've been doing this every year since the 90s, I've typically found it a better time of year in early

01:10:42

January to have these events, although it's not fixed at that date.

01:10:48

But this January 9th will be our next Iron Sharpens Iron pastor's luncheon. And the speaker will be

01:10:54

Justin Peters of Justin Peters Ministries. He is a world -renowned preacher and teacher and evangelist and author.

01:11:02

He has cerebral palsy and basically a major thrust of his ministry is to expose the charlatans and the false healers in the

01:11:14

Word of Faith movement. That is a primary thrust of his ministry, although the Gospel of Jesus Christ is first and foremost in everything he does.

01:11:22

So we are going to be discussing protecting the sheep against wolves. And that will be

01:11:28

January 9th, Thursday, January 9th, 11 a .m. to 2 p .m. And not only will you eat for free and hear a message by Justin Peters for free, every man in ministry leadership will leave with a heavy sack of brand new free books donated by publishers all over the

01:11:46

United States and the United Kingdom. I select a book from each publisher and each publisher donates 100 copies of that book so every man who attends the luncheon can leave with a copy of that book.

01:12:01

So there are literally hundreds and hundreds of books that are available and each man is leaving with dozens and dozens of books in a heavy sack, all absolutely free of charge.

01:12:12

If you want to be there, send me an email to chrisarnson at gmail .com, chrisarnson at gmail .com,

01:12:18

and put Pastor's Luncheon in the subject line. Then coming up in January, not long after that,

01:12:26

January 16th through the 18th, that's Thursday through Saturday, January 16th through the 18th, I'm packing up my bags again and heading down south to Atlanta, Georgia to the

01:12:35

G3 Conference, which stands for Gospel, Grace, and Glory. You've been hearing ads for this every day, voiced by Dr.

01:12:44

James R. White of Alpha and Omega Ministries and also Todd Friel of Wretched TV and Radio. This is an absolutely monumental event.

01:12:52

This is open to everybody, men, women, and children. The theme this

01:12:58

January is Worship Matters, and the roster of speakers is absolutely mind -blowing.

01:13:05

We have Dr. Stephen J. Lawson of One Passion Ministries, my friend Dr. James R. White of Alpha and Omega Ministries, Phil Johnson, the

01:13:12

Executive Director of Grace to You, the Media Ministry of John MacArthur, who also happens to be the most frequently interviewed guest since Iron Sherpa and Zion Radio first launched in 2005 on this program,

01:13:26

Todd Friel of Wretched TV and Wretched Radio, Derek Thomas, world -renowned Presbyterian author and teacher and conference speaker and pastor,

01:13:36

Dr. Tom Askell, the Director of Founders Ministries, the

01:13:41

Calvinistic Ministry in the Southern Baptist Convention, Stephen J. Nichols, the

01:13:48

President of Reformation Bible College, the college founded by the late R .C. Sproul and Ligonier Ministries, Kosti Hinn, who you heard

01:13:55

James White mention before in an ad, he is the nephew of the notorious charlatan and heretic

01:14:00

Benny Hinn, and Kosti does not mind me saying that, he says that much and more, seeking to expose the frauds in the

01:14:07

Word of Faith movement for being the dangerous, deadly and damning deceivers they are, and he is now a

01:14:16

Reformed Baptist pastor. He wasn't in California and now he has accepted a call to a church in Arizona, and many more, and of course, as you probably heard from James White, John MacArthur has been added to the lineup.

01:14:34

With that, I would go there if it was just him. He is one of my modern day heroes. If you want to join me there,

01:14:42

January 16th through the 18th, that's Thursday through Saturday, January 16th through the 18th, 2020, go to G3conference .com,

01:14:49

G3conference .com, and I would strongly urge you if you have a business that you own, or if you're a leader in a parachurch organization, or you have a special event that you want to promote amongst a very large crowd of Christians, I strongly urge you not only to register to attend, but register while there's still room for an exhibitor's booth, just like I will be manning there for the fourth year in a row at the

01:15:13

G3 Conference. Something always extraordinary happens when I man an exhibitor's booth for Iron Trump and Zion Radio at this event.

01:15:19

They typically have over 5 ,000 people attend this every year. With John MacArthur added to the lineup,

01:15:25

I'm very confident that over 6 ,000 people will be there. And I just got some great news from World Magazine, who is going to be featuring another full -page ad for Iron Trump and Zion Radio in their

01:15:38

December 28th edition. This is a pastor's edition that is going to be given not only to those on their normal print run, but they are publishing 25 ,000 extra copies specifically for ministers.

01:15:58

And every chair at the G3 Conference will have a World Magazine waiting for the attendee who will be sitting there.

01:16:05

So we are so thrilled that the issue with our ad in it will be given to everybody in attendance at G3 Conference.

01:16:11

Go to g3conference .com, and register either to attend or also to man an exhibitor's booth while there's still room.

01:16:21

And they're going to run out of room for exhibitor's booths a lot faster than they would ever run out of rooms for attendees.

01:16:28

So I would strongly urge you, if you have any inkling to man an exhibitor's booth, go to g3conference .com

01:16:34

soon, very soon, and register for an exhibitor's booth. Last but not least, if you love this show, you don't want the show to disappear from the airwaves, you love sharing the free downloadable

01:16:43

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01:16:56

click support, then click, click to donate now. You can donate instantly with a debit or credit card.

01:17:02

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01:17:11

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01:17:24

Dr. Latancy Scott, who is a very generous, faithful supporter financially of this program.

01:17:31

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01:17:44

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01:17:54

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01:18:05

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01:18:52

and put advertising in the subject line. And if you are not a member of a

01:18:57

Bible -believing church and you're not even prayerfully looking for one, you are living in rebellion against God.

01:19:03

I don't want to candy -coat this, this is very serious. There are no lone wolves or maverick

01:19:08

Christians in the Bible who do not belong to a local church where they are submitting to the local elders there.

01:19:16

So if you need help finding a church, I have helped many people all over the world find churches where they have joined or where they have recommended them to family, friends, and loved ones who need churches wherever they are in the world, or where they have visited on vacation.

01:19:33

In fact, I just found a couple of churches for someone in New Brunswick, Canada yesterday.

01:19:39

We constantly hear from people asking for churches. So, if you are in that position where you need a church, you're having a hard time finding one, send me an email to ChrisArnson at gmail .com.

01:19:50

I have lists of Biblically faithful churches all over the world and I can help you, God willing, find a church. It's ChrisArnson at gmail .com

01:19:57

and put I need a church in the subject line. That's also the email address where you can send in a question to our guests,

01:20:03

Dr. Latane C. Scott and Dr. Beth Robinson. It's ChrisArnson at gmail .com.

01:20:09

ChrisArnson at gmail .com. I'm very embarrassed right now because I knew that I asked you both a question before the break and I misplaced it.

01:20:17

Either of you remember what I asked. Hello?

01:20:23

Latane? Latane, are you there? Yeah, but I don't remember the question.

01:20:32

Oh, Latane! Well, we'll have to just move on and if I think of the question

01:20:41

I'll find it. I'll ask it again. I'm very embarrassed right now.

01:20:46

I usually don't do that. But, let's see. We do have

01:20:53

B .B. in Cumberland County, Pennsylvania who has a question. B .B.,

01:20:58

I have a question for you. And the question is, how can we improve awareness of all these steps to protect our children in our local churches and even in the schools our children attend?

01:21:12

How can we be a voice when we are not perhaps a leader ourselves to get this material into the hands and the minds of all of those around us so that we can provide safer places for our children to exist?

01:21:30

Latane? Well, one of the things that the book emphasizes is that a child's own heart has to be strengthened and protected.

01:21:41

And one of the ways that Dr. Bath advises to do this, and this has to happen at the parental level first, is that you talk to your children about their body parts in such a way that the children know they can come to you and tell you if anyone has touched them inappropriately or spoken about their body parts in a way that embarrasses them.

01:22:03

And so, although schools are great, churches are great, I think Dr. Bath would say the primary responsibility is the parent to have the relationship with the child.

01:22:15

And Chris, part of what you asked before, I did kind of remember an aspect of it, is about accusations.

01:22:22

And I think one of the things that a parent needs to do is to make sure that their children know they can come to them and tell them anything without repercussions to the child.

01:22:34

Because, and Dr. Bath can affirm this, predators threaten children saying that nobody will believe them, they'll believe the adult and not the child.

01:22:46

Right, and now I remember, but how is the parent to use that information without unnecessarily slandering and destroying the life, perhaps, of the person that the child is accusing, if it indeed is not true or exaggerated or what have you?

01:23:04

Well, Dr. Bath, go ahead. Let me hop back to the question that was asked, and also add, before we move on to this, that I think sometimes even having a book like this, or this

01:23:16

MP3, that you could hand to a principal at school or send an email to a principal at school, if you're trying to get the school to be more aware of these issues, or you're trying to get a church to be,

01:23:28

I think passing along a resource is a great way to get them to pay more attention to what's going on and maybe provide opportunities to educate a lot of parents.

01:23:39

Sorry, I wanted to get that in before we moved on. Sure. And also, my own thought, do you two either together or separately conduct seminars or conferences on this issue?

01:23:52

We would, yes. Great. Yes, we would. And I can,

01:23:57

I know off the top of my hat, my hat, my head, since I've interviewed her so many times,

01:24:04

I know that Dr. Latane C. Scott's website is latane .com, L -A -T -A -Y -N -E dot com, so you could contact her there and set something up if that is indeed your desire.

01:24:19

But going back to the very sticky situation of children that might be giving a false report, children are getting more and more savvy, and I know that I'm going to be saying something controversial here because I don't want people to doubt the reports of children necessarily, but you have,

01:24:42

I can even remember my own nephews, who are now adults, when they were children and their mother, my sister, would scold them, the immediate response blurted out by the older child is,

01:24:58

I'm reporting you to social services. Because they become savvy as to the rhetoric and the conversations that are being conducted on TV every day.

01:25:10

You very often have parents sitting on the couch with children watching these programs, these talk shows, and you have discussions like that come up.

01:25:19

So obviously, even though we wouldn't want to rule out the reports of children when they are reporting something like this, how do we not always give in to the reports and possibly ruin the life or lives of people because of the charges being false?

01:25:39

Well, I think an interesting statistic is that out of children who recount their initial report of being sexually abused, the research shows about 95 % of them were telling the truth initially and they withdrew the report because they recognized that it upset the adult.

01:25:59

So I'm saying that just, which kind of doesn't answer your question, and I'll move on to the other question, which is,

01:26:05

I think what's very important is that if a child makes an accusation that parents and other people don't ask a ton of questions, they get them immediately referred to a forensic interviewer.

01:26:17

A forensic interviewer is trained on how to ask kids questions and a good forensic interviewer could very quickly tell if the child had been sexually abused or if this was kind of made up instead of letting lots of people talk to the kid.

01:26:34

And the other thing I would say is, I think as parents, we have to believe what our kids tell us until proven otherwise.

01:26:40

Our job is to keep them safe. And I think it's harder in families when maybe there hasn't been an accusation made, but the family kind of knows that Uncle John hasn't been real safe or Aunt Sally or whoever it is.

01:26:57

And in that case, I say it still comes back to supervision for the parent. You know, if you're providing supervision of your kids, then these individuals at family gatherings won't get access to your kids, and I think that's your primary responsibility.

01:27:12

You know, we tend to sometimes confuse our role. Our role as a parent is to protect our child. It's not to figure out if somebody has offended against another child and protect everybody else's children.

01:27:23

Our job is to protect our child. So, what do you want to add in there?

01:27:30

No, I think it's very important to emphasize that there has to be a relationship of trust between the child and the parent where the child can come to the parent and voice concerns.

01:27:43

Say, you know, Uncle John makes me uncomfortable when he tickles me. Or I don't want to sit on Grandpa's lap.

01:27:50

Or I don't want to, you know, whatever. The children should not be forced into having any kind of physical contact that makes them uncomfortable, period.

01:27:59

You know, if they don't want to be kissed, they ought not be kissed. If they don't want to be hugged, they ought not be hugged.

01:28:05

And often the child is sending a message, at least I've learned this from Dr. Beth, that a child is sending a message by the fact that they don't want to be around a certain person.

01:28:15

Dr. Beth, are you at liberty to give at least some kind of description of some of the cases where you have sat in as an expert witness in court?

01:28:30

I try to de -identify those cases. So, when I talk about cases, I usually talk about a combination kind of cases so they're not easily identifiable.

01:28:41

But I have sat in on cases, to be honest, we've actually gotten lots of settlements on cases where I was involved because the child was able to tell me exactly what happened.

01:28:55

And then because I had recorded all that and they knew the child would testify, we got things negotiated.

01:29:03

I think there's one in the book where I talk about a music teacher that was a highly trusted friend. That one has really resonated with me for years because he was a very, the music teacher was a very close friend of the family and the family was completely devastated.

01:29:21

And the kid, who was about 16 or 17 at the time, had been subpoenaed to court as a character witness for the music teacher because other males had made accusations that the music teacher had sexually molested them.

01:29:36

And the kiddo who came and saw me was going to go to court and his parents had raised him in a godly home.

01:29:43

So his plan was, on Monday, I saw him on Thursday, on Monday he was going to go to court and he was going to tell the truth about what this perpetrator had done to him.

01:29:53

And his parents thought all of his fear and his anxiety about testifying was about testifying and so they brought him to see me so that we could discuss what the process was to testify in court and that.

01:30:06

I took one look at him and I went, oh my goodness, I mean bless his heart, I just said, can you tell me what happened?

01:30:12

And he outlined being sexually abused by this individual for several years, who enticed him initially by ending private music lessons by showing him porn.

01:30:25

And then he got him to engage in sexual activities with him because he told the kid, and you know kids aren't logical like we are, he told him that he would tell his parents about him watching porn if he didn't do what he wanted him to do sexually.

01:30:43

And so the kid complied because he didn't want to be in trouble for watching the porn. And it turned out that we got the

01:30:49

DA and the investigator involved and found out from the kid, it wasn't me, it was the forensic interviewers, found out that this music teacher had videotaped all of this.

01:30:59

And so they got a search warrant with his house, found all the videotapes, and it turned out that he did a plea bargain, and the plea bargain was actually because of the child porn, because he got a lot more time for that.

01:31:14

So I never had to testify in that case. And yet it was very integral into how that got settled.

01:31:20

And so sometimes being an expert witness is not always just being on the stand, it's also about what happens before you get on the stand.

01:31:30

John in Bangor, Maine asks, has the sexualization of our culture, where everything has some kind of sexual connotation, whether it's subtle or not so subtle, including advertisements, including your average sitcom being aired at an early hour of the evening, and everything else in the media has been hyper -sexualized to the point where is that one of the reasons sometimes children wind up being predators against other children?

01:32:09

And of course, I believe that our listener is speaking about, as opposed to the past where things were comparatively tame in the media, doesn't mean that the child -on -child molestation didn't exist back then, but has it become, to your knowledge of history, more prevalent now because of the intensity of sexual connection in the media with everything, with commercials, with sitcoms, etc.?

01:32:40

You know, we don't have statistics from years past to base this on, so that's hard to compare, but I can tell you that we are seeing children who are sexualized who have not actually experienced being sexually abused themselves, but have seen sex acts through porn or through TV shows that people call soft porn now, the

01:33:02

R -rated shows, they see enough there that the kids do act out what they see. And so, from that perspective,

01:33:09

I would say it's definitely impacting our children. We have

01:33:14

Harrison in Mechanicsburg, Pennsylvania, who asks,

01:33:19

What is your opinion about the pageants that go on with little girls dressed up like adult women, very often dancing around in sexual ways that we would never perhaps view them right off the top as sexual, but they are gyrating and dancing to music that is very sensual and worldly?

01:33:42

I, for one, am appalled by this. Well, I think any time that we sexualize how our children are dressed or how they are acting, it makes them a little bit more of a target.

01:34:01

It's appealing to sex offenders, and you hate to say that, but I think we have to be aware of that, so I would be extremely cautious about having our children dress and act older than they are and dressing them in sexualized ways and letting them engage in activities in which they engage in behaviors that can be viewed as sexualized.

01:34:21

Now, I'm giving the benefit of the doubt to the vast majority of parents and perhaps even specifically mothers who get their daughters involved in this.

01:34:32

They view these things as cute and innocent, but is there, in your opinion, anything innately wrong with it other than the way that it can be wrongly viewed and used by those who are evil?

01:34:47

Is there any place at all for pageants where little girls are dressed up like adult women to take place?

01:34:55

You know, here would be the way I would handle that. I would defer that question to a male.

01:35:01

You know, I would defer that question. A lot of times when we have a teenager and mom and dad are disagreeing about what she should wear because mom wants her to look fashionable and dad looks at what she's wearing and goes, uh -uh,

01:35:17

I know what the guys are going to think. I tell the moms, I said, you let dad set the boundary there, and so I would turn this question back to a male and say, what do you think?

01:35:30

We have... Was your listener a male? Yeah, was your listener a male who, the person said they were appalled, was it a male or a female, do you know?

01:35:40

Harrison in Mechanicsburg, I assume Harrison is a man. Okay, well, that proves

01:35:46

Dr. Beth's point. Yeah. Yeah, that is, a mother might, or a woman might be naive to the fact that this is a sexualization of a little girl where the man might be more sensitive to the issue.

01:36:03

And, of course, I may get complaints for saying that. It might be considered a misogynistic comment, I don't know.

01:36:08

But I think that could be very well the case. Let's see here.

01:36:18

We have Arnie in Perry County, Pennsylvania, who asks, if one were to invite you two to conduct a seminar on this very issue, what kinds of things would we expect to be conducted at such an event?

01:36:40

Well, we would do... Well, Dr. Beth has actually come to my church and to a school where I taught and presented a program in which she made the educators and parents aware of potential dangers.

01:36:59

And just speaking for my church, and, of course, Dr. Beth and I don't live in the same city, she traveled over and our church made major changes, such as we installed windows in all our classrooms.

01:37:12

Children cannot go to the bathroom with just one adult. Other things that should be no -brainers, but they weren't no -brainers for us.

01:37:21

So she gives very, very practical tips. And I'm just the brawn, she's the brains.

01:37:28

I'm just... Well, you do have a

01:37:33

PhD, so I wouldn't cut yourself short. I'm going to disagree with what she said.

01:37:39

She is a major contributor to what we do, and particularly helping me see it through a theological lens.

01:37:45

So it's an equal partnership. Praise God. Let's see here, we have an anonymous listener who asks, and this actually plays right in the hands of your comments about Latane's theological training and knowledge.

01:38:03

Why do you think the Bible is completely silent when it comes to child molestation?

01:38:10

Oh, it's not. It's not. Jesus said that if you offend a child, it'd be better for you to have a millstone tied around your neck and thrown into the ocean.

01:38:23

It's not silent at all. The Bible, our God is the protector of the innocent.

01:38:29

He's the protector of the people who can't speak for themselves. He's the champion of widows and orphans.

01:38:37

So no, the Bible's not silent at all about it. And in the book, we give a lot of theological training to parents so that they can help their children understand that their sexuality is something given to them by God.

01:38:51

You know, that God created their bodies. And by the way, Dr. Beth has an amazing coloring book called

01:38:59

God Made Me, where you can sit down with a child and color pictures and talk about safe and unsafe scenarios and about the fact that God made your body and that you can protect your body if your parents want to help you protect it.

01:39:14

So no, the Bible's not silent at all. And we are going to our final break right now.

01:39:20

If you'd like to join us with a question of your own, I would strongly urge you to do so quickly before we run out of time.

01:39:28

Our email address, as always, is chrizarnsen at gmail .com C -H -R -I -S -A -R -N -Z -E -N at gmail .com

01:39:36

And please give us your first name at least, your city and state of residence, and your country of residence if you live outside the

01:39:42

USA, and only remain anonymous if your question involves a personal and private matter. Don't go away, we'll be right back with Latane C.

01:39:49

Scott and Beth Robinson on Protecting Your Child from Predators. When Iron Sharpens Iron Radio first launched in 2005, the publishers of the

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PTLBibleRebinding .com This is Pastor Bill Sousa of Grace Church at Franklin, here in the beautiful state of Tennessee.

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Our congregation is one of a growing number of churches who love and support Iron Sharpens Iron Radio financially.

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Grace Church at Franklin is an independent, autonomous body of believers who strives to clearly declare the whole counsel of God as revealed in Scripture through the person and work of our

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Lord Jesus Christ. And of course, the end for which we strive is the glory of God.

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If you live near Franklin, Tennessee, and Franklin is just south of Nashville, maybe ten minutes, or you are visiting this area, or you have friends and loved ones nearby, we hope you will join us some

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Lord's Day in worshiping our God and Savior. Please feel free to contact me if you have more questions about Grace Church at Franklin.

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Our website is gracechurchatfranklin .org That's gracechurchatfranklin .org

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This is Pastor Bill Sousa wishing you all the richest blessings of our

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Sovereign Lord, God, Savior, and King Jesus Christ today and always.

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.com www .getworldnow .com www .getworldnow .com www .getworldnow .com from another anonymous listener who says or asks how do we respond to those who try to justify typically a spouse who is male being far older than a spouse who is female because of the fact that we read things in the

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Bible about Mary which from what we understand was a young teenage girl when she gave birth to Jesus and also that there are cultures in Orthodox Judaism and other religions where there are arranged marriages but the spouses do not consummate that marriage until the bride is of childbearing age.

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These kinds of things are used to justify a huge span in ages in marriages.

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Do you have an opinion on how to respond to these folks that try to justify these things?

01:54:35

I guess that would be me answering that. Well with the example of Mary we don't know her age nor do we know the age of Joseph.

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Neither one are listed at all. It says that she's a virgin but it does not say her age.

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Don't historians typically believe though that in that day and age and especially in the

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Jewish culture that girls got married at a very young age, far younger than today?

01:55:07

Well yes but we have an elder in my congregation that married his wife. He was 21 and she was 14.

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So that was one of the most successful marriages I've ever known. I don't know how you justify marital customs today trying to look at marital customs when they're not specified in the

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Bible. I don't believe there are any ages listed that are proper for marriage or not.

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If you're just going to depend on what historians say, I'm not comfortable with that because I want to just say what the

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Bible says in the way that it says it and not speculate. I'm assuming that situation with your elder, those kinds of situations are to be considered very rare I'm assuming and there has to be specific circumstances involved especially with the parents that are giving full support.

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I'm just saying that it happens, it does not have to be in Jewish cultures or third world countries or anything else.

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I would not let my 14 year old get married to someone older but in this particular case it worked out.

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Well I'd like you to both have a minute to summarize what you most want etched in the hearts and minds of our listeners today on this subject and we'll start with Beth.

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I think the thing I most want people to hear is this is an issue that involves people you know.

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It's not stranger danger and I've said it two or three times today. These will be people that you know and trust.

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You have to supervise your children when they're around, peers and adults, and it's okay to provide eyesight supervision and be intrusive about it to keep your kids safe.

01:57:09

Anne Latou? One of the things we emphasize in the book is that Christians have an advantage that non -Christians do not have and that is that we have the indwelling

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Holy Spirit who sometimes comes across as a uncomfortable feeling about someone or something else but we have extra help with our situations and plus we need to remember that we don't battle against flesh and blood.

01:57:39

We are battling against powers and principality. This is a giant cosmic battle with a giant cosmic evil personality

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Satan behind it and even though it comes out and it's manifested through human beings, the

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Bible tells us that we need to step back and see that this is part of the kind of battles we're going to have to fight for our children until they're adults.

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We have to put on that whole armor of God. We have to be in the word. We have to pray and we have to depend on our

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Lord and Savior to help us in these situations. Any book projects on the fire for either of you either individually or together?

01:58:24

Well yes we have a book another book coming out from Bethany about how to talk to your teenager about sex and Dr.

01:58:32

Beth and I just finished that book. Wow when will that be in print? Sometime next year

01:58:38

I think. Great well I'll have you both back on to discuss that. Okay. If you'd like to.

01:58:46

Great well I want to thank you both so very much for participating in this very important program and if anybody did not win this book or even if you won the book and you want to buy extra copies go to CVBBS .com

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CVBBS .com and order How to Protect Your Child from Predators and it's a

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Baker publishing product and you can also go to Latayne .com

01:59:12

L -A -T -A -Y -N -E .com Dr. Beth do you have any contact information that you want to add? My website is

01:59:20

KidsCallMeDoc .com. KidsCallMeDoc and that's D -O -C right? Yes.

01:59:27

KidsCallMeDoc .com. I want to thank you both so very much. I want to thank everybody who listened today especially those who took the time to write.

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I want you all to always remember for the rest of your lives that Jesus Christ is a far greater Savior than you are a sinner.