Cultish: Why I Left Astrology, Pt. 1

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Cultish: Why I left Astrology, Pt. 2

00:00

Alright, welcome back ladies and gentlemen to cultish entering the king of the cults. My name is Jeremiah Roberts I am one of the co -hosts here.

00:08

I am joined always by my good friend Trusted co -host and super sleuth up in Harriman, Utah.

00:14

How you doing, man? I'm doing well, and this is the last day the last two episodes.

00:20

We'll actually be in this Location so people again will not know where I'm located after this.

00:26

Hmm. Awesome. Well, yeah Who knows we might keep that location super secret where you might start giving people hints again

00:32

We'll just have to wait and see well that being said I'm super excited. I have we actually we have with us today

00:41

Angela is it Uchi? Is that you say your last name? Yeah, like Gucci without the G. Okay.

00:46

Okay. Perfect. Perfect. Awesome. How are you doing? I'm doing well. How are you guys? Good good We're doing great. Thank you so much for joining us.

00:53

So I'm really excited to talk with you You have quite a unique story and it's very interesting because I'm I want to play a clip to kind of introduce people to you but just very cliff notes you got into the

01:05

New Age you're really where you are really heavily involved was astrology and specifically astrology

01:13

Tarot cards you had a real heavy interest in doing yoga in relation to that and there's a couple other different modalities that we will jump into and it just is interesting because I Found out about you right in the middle of when?

01:28

Things were changing for you drastically. So before I jump in Before you go any further

01:34

I want to go I'm gonna go ahead and play this clip That's kind of shows you the two different scenarios for anyone wondering

01:39

You had a podcast that started and tell everyone the name of the podcast when you initially started

01:45

So my old podcast was called moon and back podcast Hey everyone, if you are watching us right now on apology of studios

01:52

YouTube channel You need to know that cultish would not be possible if it wasn't for this studio

01:58

So if you want to support apology of studios Which also makes cultish a possibility for you to enjoy every single week here on YouTube go to apology of studios

02:07

Calm you can become an all -access member and you will also get a lot of great additional content

02:13

Which will also help support the studio which will allow cultists to be a possibility as well on a weekly basis

02:19

So we thank you all for watching us and now back to the episode okay, and so the first part is a clip from your very first premiere episode that you did and halfway through is

02:32

We transition over to later on around episode 40 where there is quite the drastic change and then we will unpack

02:39

How did this all happen? Okay, so let's go ahead and play the clip I'm excited because I'm following my heart and that's that's really just the entire premise of What this podcast is going to be following the heart

02:55

You know, we're gonna be talking about things from nutrition to yoga to energy work astrology, of course and the moon

03:07

For those of you that don't know already I am just Totally enamored by the moon and in the past year or so I have started to Write and Create video for new and full moon reports.

03:27

It's no secret that Over the past few months. I've been talking a lot about you know my relationship with God and really opening myself up to Jesus Christ as my

03:37

Lord and Savior and In that has inevitably come many shifts over the past couple of months and You know the deeper that I dive into the

03:53

Word of God and into the Holy Spirit and into God's love and into Jesus is light

04:01

I I just I can't do astrology anymore.

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I don't want to do astrology anymore I don't want to participate in the

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New Age practices anymore. I Don't want to read tarot anymore. I don't want to use crystals to quote

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Heal my body anymore. I Don't want to read books about Oneness anymore.

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I don't want to Claim that I'm from another planet anymore.

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I don't I don't want to receive nor Facilitate Reiki anymore, you know,

04:49

I don't even want to do yoga anymore What's your initial just give us your initial gut reaction to seeing those two videos parts against each other

05:00

Angela It's just hmm. It's insane. So that was actually that was the last episode of moon and back that I recorded and The time frame between those videos the first was

05:13

January of 2021 and the last was December of 2021 and I mean it hits me right in the gut because I can even just listening to it.

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I can hear the difference in my voice I don't sound as Angry or something like I sound at peace.

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I do sound sound Reflecting on my old podcast and my old ways overall is

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Incredibly embarrassing and mortifying because I was so disobedient to the Lord And I can't think of anything worse than that at this point in my life

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Hmm, I was just so incredibly defiant and I didn't even know it and what's worse than my personal defiance

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Is that I was inviting other people to come along with me and encouraging that of other people and Helping other people through it.

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Like I was teaching yoga. I was doing tarot readings. I was facilitating Reiki. I was Actively helping people understand their birth charts

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Luckily, it never got into the business aspect, but that was my goal was to eventually have my own astrology business

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Thank God that never happened. But I was just I was bringing other people into the sin with me and Putting them on this path of an

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Unfortunate eternity and I didn't even know it. So it's it's embarrassing and it's

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I know I'm not ashamed now but it's shameful in hindsight because it makes me really sad to know that I was

06:55

That I was leading other people down that same path and making other people interested in it. Hmm Yeah, and I definitely appreciate you sharing that I think one of the interesting

07:05

Things just watching you even in the second video and I think I want to make sure we explain the context, right?

07:12

So there are in the second video I think there's two things you still have because you're still brand new and fearing this all out you know, you would just become born again and you know, you have this symbol in the background, which

07:26

I'm assuming is an astrological symbol of What is that symbol by the way, what does it represent so the thing that's above my head and all of my old podcasts that is

07:37

Archangel Metatron who by the way is not in the Bible ever But he is considered like one of the

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Ascendant Masters and like the Like the person of sacred geometry and things like that So it was it's his

07:52

Metatron's cube and it's supposed to be it's just an enlightenment symbol if I could summarize it

07:57

Yeah, so yeah And also and I appreciate you sharing that and also just one other thing too I want to emphasize for anyone to understand too is that a lot of times this is not just in your case

08:07

You know coming out of the New Age to Christ But a lot of times if you're in a new environment and you see something you don't comprehend or understand

08:16

You only use your current you're only able to describe it with what you currently know

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And so you're in many ways you're using Even New Age terminology being brand new and knowing who

08:29

Christ is, you know, you're saying words like shifts You're shifting into this or you're kind of there's a couple of the terms that you use

08:37

So I think it's also very important as we kind of jump into your story This is as a principle in general like God is doing an amazing work

08:44

Saving people like yourself out of the New Age But a lot of times there is almost this language barrier to where You're trying to understand

08:53

God the Holy Spirit the Bible, you know wholeness being saved by grace alone

08:59

Not by works, but it's still You're using only your points of reference to understand

09:04

Is that kind of what was going on in that video or just when you were first starting off? Yes, and I I picked up on that too you know,

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I'm saying a dive into the Holy Spirit and like I'm going through these shifts and Some of the other clips from my old podcast as I was listening back to them

09:22

I'm hearing words that I haven't said in seven months like holding space and things like that just stuff that is no longer in my vocabulary, but I was saying every single day and You know, like resonate alignment like those types of words frequency vibrate, you know all of that Yeah, so that is really interesting and I like that you call it a language barrier because it really is

09:43

Like the language of the New Age sin. Yeah, and do you have any thoughts real quick? Yeah, I thought it was great

09:49

The first clip talking about how you want to follow your heart, right? This is I'm gonna go where my heart leads and then the second clip you can tell how it's a total

09:58

Juxtaposition between the two they're at odds with one another now. It's like I don't want to do astrology anymore I don't want to do tarot.

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I don't want to even do yoga anymore It's how God's Word and conviction literally is a heart change, right?

10:13

It's it was quite amazing and it was very very powerful to hear that. I was very touched So praise

10:19

God for his grace in your life. That is that is amazing. That is amazing. So, how did you get into? New Age practices in general

10:27

Well before I dive in there, I want to just quickly comment on that dive in I My home mantra for moon and back podcast was we're walking each other home on the self -healing journey

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So that whole notion of following the heart was what I was all about and that's the advice

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I would give people in my life You know what feels right? You know, what is what is your heart telling you? Your heart's never wrong.

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Your heart will never lead you astray and now I just see how Incredibly false that is and it really is insane, but I got into New Age practices

11:03

Because I well Just for some context. I grew up a really lonely kid.

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I was bullied. I was a single child single mom My grandmother really stepped in to help my mom out.

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She lived right down the street. So I Was really really close with her. She was my best friend in the world my entire life and then in 2014,

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I Got on a cruise ship and My grandmother died unexpectedly.

11:33

I was in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean when this happened Yeah I was in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean and I lost My best friend and that was the first time that I really started to try and kind of communicate with spirit if you will because I remember sitting on the cruise ship and I was sitting on like our little balcony looking at the ocean and I was saying grandma.

11:51

Don't go don't go. Um, I'd like trying to will her to live.

11:57

Yeah, and after she passed I Can still like hear the scream that I had let out when that happened?

12:05

Like I just dropped to the floor I pulled the curtains down with me it was it was the most tragic thing that ever happened to me and something that I've noticed with a lot of New Age people is

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There's a not all the time, but often there's a very traumatic Circumstance that occurs that draws people in because Satan capitalizes on the trauma capitalizes on the pain especially for a vulnerable heart like mine that didn't

12:30

Genuinely know any better because I had no point of reference as you said of Christ or of the Bible or of the

12:36

God you know anything so I After she passed I Wanted nothing more than to just connect with her.

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That was all that was all I was after was just how can I reach? grandma again, so Needless to say

12:50

My mother and myself went to go see a psychic medium and now this medium was very much about God I will say that she you know, of course not biblical

13:02

God, but what she had created as an idol of God She she had angel cards, which interestingly enough for Dorian virtues cards.

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Yeah the talking to heaven deck and She knew things that she had no business knowing she knew that I had a necklace on that I had hidden under my turtleneck

13:20

She knew that it was a star necklace because my grandma had given me this necklace where if you held it up to the light

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It was like a little blue thing You held it up to the light and it was a star and my grandma gave me a little poem with it all about how I'm her star and all these things and so The the medium was like and she just keeps showing me a star that you're her star stars so the things that she was saying

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I was like, wow grandma's really here and Same thing with my mom, you know

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Connecting quote -unquote connecting with my uncle who had committed suicide and talking about how he had to go through purgatory

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But now he's in heaven like all these crazy things and so after I got introduced to the cards

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I Went and bought that same deck for myself. And so that's how it was introduced to me.

14:05

I got into Cards first and then the cards led to crystals because I started to read, you know

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How can I how can I get deeper into this? How can I how can I communicate with her further and I read up on crystal healing and if you have

14:22

XYZ crystal It helps open up your spirituality, you know, it was like a celestite that I was

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Called to to purchase when I was in the in the shop I felt like my grandmother was over my shoulder saying get that get that So I started collecting all these crystals and then the crystals led to books, you know books about mediumship and you know

14:43

Enhancing your psychic abilities and that inevitably kind of led to the chakra system and into Reiki and those types of things

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Which just trickled into yoga because I had at the same time gone through an entire health transformation after my grandma passed

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I lost over a hundred and twenty pounds in a year And so I was really into fitness and nutrition and that just made me interested in yoga for that concept

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Before it was even necessarily spiritual for me, but I knew of the spiritual benefits from the books that I was reading so I got involved in yoga and Decided I wanted to teach that but that didn't come for years down the road, but the yoga just led to you know

15:24

Low yoga led to mindfulness practices and the mindfulness practice. It's just a domino effect

15:30

The mindfulness practices led to more tarot because it wasn't Oracle cards anymore. It was now it was tarot cards and You know, there's this one night that I remember and this is years ago like this is 2015 so a lot of this blends together, but This all happened so fast for me and there was this one night

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I recall Where I was sitting up at like 3 a .m. And Wondering why

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I felt so Broken, you know, I I knew that I was I was traumatized because my grandma passed

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But I had just lost all this weight. I was finally healthy and I didn't know why

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I still felt so bad Because I because I thought I thought I took care of myself

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I thought I did, you know, I did what I was supposed to do. I got healthy. I got strong. I got fit I started eating better Why did

16:21

I still feel so broken inside? Especially when I'm starting to do all these all these new things like I do yoga every single day

16:26

Like what's that about? So I'm up and googling. Why do I feel alone and I find stuff about star seeds, so a star seed is allegedly

16:39

Someone who comes from another star system another planet another galaxy, whatever

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Your spirit comes in to planet Earth to kind of assist with Ascending the collective into 5d consciousness or whatever all this stuff that sounds so ridiculous to even say out loud now

17:00

But I'm sitting there reading it back then like wow This makes so much sense because it's describing exactly what

17:05

I'm going through, you know Isolated child bullied child never felt like you fit in all of the things that checked every single box like never

17:12

Understanding why I wasn't quite fitting in because I felt homesick and it was explaining to me that you are homesick because you're not from Earth so it just made sense to me it

17:22

Resonated, you know one of those words. Yeah it so then I started identifying as as a literal alien and When I when

17:30

I talk about this stuff, I can just like see how severely mentally ill I actually was Because it's this none of this stuff is healthy, but the people around me were

17:39

At either egging it on or just kind of going along to get along well,

17:44

I think just I rolled Yeah, I think I appreciate you sharing that I think it's important that as we unravel your story

17:52

Is that a lot of times people kind of look even the cliff notes of you know? Your story and the different practices that you are in it's very easy to kind of brush off and say oh that was crazy

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How could someone believe something that ridiculous? But if you need when you realize that, you know when the

18:08

Bible says that the God has put on Eternity into the hearts of men and that we're made in the image of God and we have this longing like we we have this

18:16

Jesus shaped hole and people are willing to do anything and do anything To try and fill in that hole and also just real quickly

18:25

Did you while you're going through all of this experience? Did you ever have a Christian background at all? No, so I was raised

18:33

Under a loose guise of Catholicism, I went to Catholic school on and off.

18:41

I went to church sometimes I had a really bad experience in Catholic school where long story short this kid was bullying me and leaving death threats at my desk and The faculty came to the consensus that I was leaving it in my own desk for attention so they literally locked me in a room with a priest to get me to confess to this priest and the priest called me a

19:05

Liar and said God knows you're a liar. So I don't know if that did something to me subconsciously about God, but This was in seventh grade.

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So I was like 13 years old when that happened. I never pursued any any

19:19

Church going from that point forward. So yeah Yeah and so even so as so one thing just note and I think we've addressed this before is that I think a good term for the

19:30

New Age and a lot of these practices is spiritual narcotic because again It's just there's this progression where it starts out with one thing and then it leads to another and then you get to a point where You're talking about understanding that maybe you came from another planet or maybe there's some sort of connection with aliens

19:47

And this is just something just note real quickly Whenever the UFO discussion comes up, you know, people always talk about why does this matter whether it's anything going on in the news about UFO Disclosures.

19:58

Well, the reality is is that with alien and UFO UFO sightings always follows a tented alien contact which leads to Contact trying to contact the other side so inherit the whole nature of the

20:15

UFO sightings Conversation it's inherently spiritual in nature and that's something to be aware of as well, too and maybe

20:23

So, yeah explain that where you were with that but also you talked about when you launched your initial podcast episode

20:29

You were looking at some people that were that had done the podcast they were kind of talking about similar worldviews, but they are also kind of pushing the idea of It was something to do with aliens bring us into that as well, too

20:43

So yeah after I got into all the star seed jargon,

20:49

I Just kind of I don't know when or how it happened honestly with astrology it just kind of did

20:56

I I fell in love with with it with understanding it and I Knew I wanted to do something with it, but Rewinding a little bit

21:07

I in 2017. I was on a cross -country road trip. So that's when I've got into the podcasting

21:13

Oh, you know what? It's interesting The reason I went on that 2017 road trip was to actually see any clips that solar eclipse

21:21

If you remember years ago that you could see like the totality from certain parts in the country.

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So traveled to Tennessee To experience that in totality for that specific reason and it was one of the coolest things

21:34

I've ever seen But that kind of you know, I was really in New Age at that time

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I'm really starting to get into it at least deeply and I remember writing in my journal that that was like looking into the eye of God when

21:49

I saw that Eclipse So I you know, I think that that Eclipse really Kickstarted a lot for me and so listening to these podcasts and I find podcasts about star seeds because I was looking for it and All these people just kind of affirming what

22:06

I was feeling, you know, and not only affirming what I was feeling but they were quote -unquote channeling their intergalactic self or their intergalactic family and Giving all these messages about how you know, if you're listening, this is because you're a part of this

22:21

You're a part of the star seed Council like it the the Pleiadian collective all these things again

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That sounds so ridiculous, but I really believed it. I really believed it It felt like it made so much sense to me

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But I see now it was just Satan just kind of fishing me along pulling me in little by little by little by little and then before I knew it

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I'm Sitting in front of my own camera talking about the moon every other week and telling people how they can use the moon cycles

22:52

To kind of manifest whatever it is that they want and to heal through their trauma because that was my whole thing was self -healing

22:59

And of course, I'm talking about self -healing every week. I'm pursuing self -healing for nearly a decade while I am nowhere near that point just experiencing

23:13

Little fragments of what I call now these temporary highs because like you said, it's a spiritual narcotic

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So I would get these little hits of like Wow bliss. I feel good. I feel healed But then two weeks later, it would all crash and burn even harder than before So yeah, it created this pattern of Wow.

23:29

Okay, so I just constantly have to work through the trauma anytime I feel bad It's because it's just old stuff coming up that I have to work through It's my own self blocking blocking my own way blocking my own path.

23:42

I have to work through it I have to release it. I have to move through this yoga flow to get rid of it.

23:48

I have to journal about it I have to meditate on it I have to make sure I wave a selenite wand around my head five times a day so that I can clear the energy

23:57

That's stagnant I have to get reiki done so that the practitioner can make sure that my chakras are clear and that I'm not holding on to Any old cords from past lifetimes or from past relationships?

24:08

And then of course, you know, the moon comes into play the astrology comes into play. What astrology season are we in?

24:15

Oh, that makes sense. It's an airy season. So that's why I feel a little bit fiery that's why I feel a little bit anxious and then you get into the birth chart stuff where it becomes your identity and I used to say as a star seed because the whole thing with star seed is

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Your it's your choice to come to planet Earth. So it creates a savior complex within you, you know

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It's your choice to come to earth because you're one of the ones that can ascend the collective

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You can bring the vibration of planet Earth up You can help the people around you and create a new earth

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And now you hear it's like all these biblical concepts, but it's it's spun completely upside down on its head into a demonic illusion, so I'm thinking you know,

24:58

I decided to come to planet Earth and Incarnate as this person as Angela and I got to pick my birth chart.

25:06

I got to pick that divine blueprint for myself That's what I used to call someone's birth chart is your divine blueprint?

25:14

I picked that that so I knew you know, whenever I would feel bad I would justify it by saying

25:19

I knew I was going to go through this. I signed up for this. This was my spirit contract so Wow, yeah, it's insane stuff.

25:29

Yeah, and or what thoughts do you have on what Angela's talked about? Yeah, like so so when I kind of in a nutshell

25:34

You're like you were the sovereign right in control of the own life that you're living now So whatever you're going through you knew that these things would occur according to this blueprint that was given

25:45

I was wondering to you kind of answered a question. I was thinking I was like, well What's the the counterfeit gospel with this whole star seed thing?

25:51

Right because we do have human life. We have death we have suffering there's real things that we face and the

25:56

Bible gives an answer for that according to the Word of God and Counterfeit there are counterfeit answers out there and you kind of did just answer that like what is the

26:06

Palladian gospel in a nutshell and you said it is to awaken Earth to like this new

26:11

I don't know if I'm using the right wording like vibration or to ascend or help people ascend What what what exactly is that do people then?

26:19

Lose their bodies this material form and ascend into this master spiritual form. Like where does it go from there?

26:27

so the funny thing about it is that you can never really find a concise answer with this because it's all relative and you know, there's

26:35

Anytime I would really try and research this stuff I would find so many different people that had so many different things to say about it.

26:41

And obviously it's because it's not real but When I when I think back and when

26:46

I reflect on these things, you know The term new earth would come up a lot. I had a book by Eckhart Tolle called the new earth

26:52

Yeah, and it was all about yes. It was it was like I said, it's a savior complex

26:57

So it is that is the star seed gospel is that we are the saviors of humanity? like we're gonna come in and and assist the collective because we are somehow

27:07

Angelic beings from from a completely different dimension that have all this knowledge and and wisdom from the different star systems and just from the universal consciousness as a whole like to come in and save earth because the whole thing that I used to preach on my podcast was that the entire universe is

27:26

In cohesion with each other So I used to equate it to like cancer if there's one cancer cell in the body

27:34

Then that infects the rest of the body. So I would say look at planet Earth It really is like that cancer cell so we have to kind of come in and heal it in order to heal the entire universe like I would really kind of Talk in riddles.

27:46

Like when I hear a lot of my old stuff, it's like talking riddles and Contradict myself a lot too, but it was all ultimately to save the planet

27:54

And so, you know, it was it was under this illusion that I had picked my life I had picked where I was on the earth.

28:02

I had picked my relationships. I had picked my birth chart I had picked the trials and errors that I would go through and then

28:07

I knew I had to work through because My karma and my issues contributed to the universal consciousness as a whole and I really needed to heal that cancer cell

28:17

That gives me it brings me to a question just because it'll benefit our listeners in my myself as well as why is

28:23

Hinduism? Always so appealing to these really abstract forms of thought why is it always these Hindu concepts that are going to like chakras and In yoga and things of this nature like because even just talking about this.

28:35

It doesn't sound anything really like Hinduism right, but for some reason there's these weird. Yeah, like there's this weird connection.

28:41

Can you explain that? So I can I can answer it on this side now Well, I can answer from both perspectives back then it gave me purpose

28:51

That's how I could answer it from that perspective It gave me a reason because the alternative was honestly wanting to kill myself.

28:59

So it gave me some sort of reason to be now as a Christian I say that the reason people are drawn to that is because There is there is zero accountability for your own actions.

29:13

There's zero accountability to God There is no sin So you can't really do any wrong anything that is quote -unquote wrong in your life is just your responsibility to kind of heal through so it's it's

29:27

It's an out in a way. Yeah, it just it relieves you of The burden of being accountable to anyone other than yourself

29:38

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30:25

Yeah, I question L as well to you know, you mentioned your old podcast I listened to quite a few of them and and there's a couple of times where I had your podcast on the background

30:34

I'm like wait Angela like what's going on? You know, you're you know, you're spouting out a couple words that aren't necessarily pleasing.

30:41

Thank you you know given all your different esoteric insights and you know, sometimes being all over the place and having you know spoken

30:49

Connected initially right when you're you know at the second half of the audio We play at the very beginning when you're just sort of coming into understanding

30:58

In a lot of your earlier podcasts I've seen where I've listened where you were really emphasizing the self or look to yourself as A savior

31:09

I have to I have to you know You need to work on yourself and you hear yourself and then you can truly love others

31:15

But it was almost that was almost the source of salvation but in that process you you have you were and you have been very open that in Even as you were talking about that giving people that advice you weren't necessarily taking that as well, too

31:31

And which is very indicative of a lot of people who are in the new age where they put on a face like they have It all together with all this insight, but deep down inside.

31:40

They don't really have the answers Maybe explain that process of what that was like for you when you were doing the old to the moon and back podcast

31:50

So yeah 100 % I was not Was not healed even though I was talking about self -healing

32:01

Again there was a lot of I see in hindsight relieving myself of that pressure because I would talk about the

32:07

Process a lot and how I was in the process and how we are always in a process how we're never

32:15

Necessarily going to understand it because we're always in the process So I would it was like I was trying to justify why

32:22

I was so messed up Well the same time trying to help other people out of their mess I Mean just to be totally candid.

32:31

I used to self -harm when I was in high school and I stopped doing that until 2021

32:39

I Relapsed for the first time in literally 12 years. It was the first time

32:45

I ever cut myself since I was a teenager And it was interesting because I had tried it was when

32:51

I tried to give up weed for Lent I was smoking marijuana every night and I decided

32:58

I was gonna give it up for Lent. It's so weird that I wanted to do that. You know why? but I I wanted to try and so It was like 20 days in and I'm just suffering like excruciating and I don't have that nightly bowl pack to just relieve it and I Don't even know what happened that night.

33:19

I it feels when I used to tell people about that night I would say it was like I was possessed when

33:25

I told my closest friends I was like, it felt like I was possessed. I just I woke up the next day I was like, what what did I do?

33:30

you know, I'm I was 27 years old at the time or or 26 years old at the time and I Cut myself like I was 16 again.

33:40

It just didn't make sense to me Yeah And when I talked to someone who I considered a really good friend in the new age about it

33:46

She actually said it was my higher self trying to reach me And when I think back to that It makes me it makes me sick because I needed help and this is what she's telling me.

33:57

But yeah, so I'm I'm sitting there, you know giving I remember this day vividly how it was a couple days after that happened and I'm Talking to the camera about self healing about the moon about releasing about working through and I have fresh cuts on my leg

34:13

I was in no position to be telling people anything about healing because I needed to be probably in Therapy, I mean

34:22

I needed Jesus, but the point is I was I was really psychologically Unwell, and it's like nobody saw it around me and it's insane

34:31

Mm -hmm, like the spiritual blinders on me were transferring to them as well Do you find them like thinking back to your mentality when you're into these new age practices?

34:42

You mentioned marijuana. I know I smoked marijuana all throughout my high school years like every single day, right?

34:48

that was my thing even during school is I don't know I was crazy, but uh, I noticed a lot of people that I was friends with the the mentality of Smoking marijuana makes you very creative, right?

35:01

My people think very creatively and they can fall prey to a lot of different types of beliefs

35:06

Do you find that marijuana and new age practices sometimes go hand -in -hand with one another especially with the generation that we grew up in?

35:13

I mean for me personally growing up It seems like I'd probably say 75 % of the people that I smoked marijuana with were like super new agey or became super new

35:21

Agey as we got older There's not one person that I know personally from that time in my life that does not smoke marijuana or Did not smoke it before maybe they don't now because of kids or something or because of asthma but That vice is always there within that community.

35:44

I've noticed that too and that's when You know a lot of it started to kind of become ceremonial or so.

35:51

I would say, you know, we would Me and my group of friends we would smoke During our moon rituals sometimes or after our moon rituals and it would just become a part of that for us and We would do

36:05

I never did psychedelics often, but I did it a handful of times I can count on one hand how many times I've done them

36:10

But that was like a supposed to be a spiritual gateway for us as well. So Yeah, I 100 %

36:16

Notice that as well that it's it's really really Entwined with the new age stuff and it's of course referred to as play medicine because it opens your third eye and all these things and for me personally

36:30

I Got into marijuana again after my grandmom died It was something that I used to kind of just like chill out and and to not think about that heartbreak for 10 minutes

36:40

But you know the more that you smoke you stop you stop getting that same high that you got the first Six months of smoking weed so you start to smoke more of it

36:49

Then you go to bongs and you know, it's not just like a little joint It's like a bong or like dabs or as you know, it just gets more and more and more and you know

36:57

Before I knew it. I was just smoking every night. I never really smoked during the day Because it makes me really tired but it also kind of spiraled into like binge eating because you get the munchies and My whole relationship with food.

37:12

Like I mentioned I lost all this weight years ago so my relationship with food my whole life has always been really wonky and that would kind of unleash that Demon for lack of a better word where I would totally go back to my old habits

37:26

So it was it's it stopped being beneficial for me years ago, and I knew it but I couldn't stop

37:36

It actually got to a point I used to say I don't feel like I'm getting high anymore I feel like I'm getting low

37:41

That's the best way that I could describe it and you were doing this the whole time when you're in this process you know, we were talking about a spiritual narcotic of You know going from practice to practice of practice, but this whole time is smoking as well, too

37:53

This is happening alongside while you're giving people all this advice on How to do their chart readings and you're even doing it for people.

38:01

There's a couple times reason Hey private message me on Instagram. I'll do I'll do a palm reading or you know, you're doing both ends, but you're doing this while You're trying to self -medicate as well, too

38:13

I mean there seemed there had to be some you know, lack of a better term duality I guess in terms of back then that's a big term of the

38:20

New Age. But yeah, what was that? What was that like? I mean there had to be some internal conflict going on then, right?

38:27

yeah, there was I I Knew that I wasn't well sometimes but the thing is everyone around me was doing the same thing.

38:37

So It it made it feel it made it feel okay, I made it feel like there was nothing wrong with me

38:45

Even though for some reason I was always the one in my group that was suffering the most like when we would do our little rituals

38:56

And by rituals, I mean Most new and full moons we would gather we called them goddess circles.

39:03

We would gather together and we would call in our angels and call in our guides our spiritual guides and our

39:14

Ascended masters all of the things and we would have crystals in the center of us as we sat in the circle with candles and Around the crystals we would usually set up a car like a card circle so that we could whatever card you felt

39:26

Called to you can go pull that card at any point during the ritual so when we would do these things

39:32

I for whatever reason was always the one who When when it came time to share because we would share in correlation to the theme

39:41

When it came time to share I was always the one just breaking down sobbing saying oh my

39:47

Going through so much. I have to release this. I have to really sad. I have so much pain I don't know why I have so much pain. I'm trying so hard and Not only that but I was always get this really immense ache in my chest when we would meditate

40:00

I used to really get afraid of meditation because of that ache that I would experience. It was just this this hollow

40:08

This this agonizing hollow like cavern in my chest I don't know how to explain it

40:13

But it was it was excruciating and it sometimes made me feel like I was gonna have a heart attack or something

40:18

It was never like palpitations It was just like constricting like if you put a bunch of bricks on my chest or something

40:24

And of course when I would say that to my friends, they would say it's your heart chakra opening, you know It's it's your heart chakra clearing.

40:30

We have to kind of we have to do Reiki on it sort of thing and I see now that was like my

40:35

Jesus hole and You know the first time I ever prayed with my pastor when I went down to be saved in church

40:42

And he prayed over me It was the first time I didn't feel that and it was you know

40:48

It was the same sort of setting although it was different because it was a meditative state if you will because I was my eyes were closed

40:54

I was holding his hand and it was the first time I felt full like my heart didn't feel that ache and That was a really big moment for me where I recognized.

41:03

Oh, wow. This is different. This is yeah actually different Real quickly. So that's and you talked about this previously

41:09

So this is a church that you were invited to by your friend And this is where the pastor had asked, you know

41:16

If anyone wants to come down and pray and that and that's where he did that. But is this the scenario as well, too? I'm trying to remember from you listening to your podcast

41:26

Is that you were also kind of looking to check out a Bible? But then he gave one to you or kind of bring us into that give us give us this near because that's where things started to kind of Turn because you're still desperately seeking help, but then you end up in this direction bring us into that, right?

41:41

So, um, I Had been doing the moon and back podcast for a year but before that I was doing astrology for a year to two years and we were doing the moon rituals and I Was writing out moon reports for Instagram or for my followers or for the girls that I would meet with so that we could all understand

42:02

The themes of the planets not not just the moon, but the plans whatever the planets were doing And so I was just really deep into it.

42:08

I was I was Entrenched and when I spoke in my last, you know that clip you played when

42:13

I say I was enamored by the moon That's perfect way to describe it. I was I was obsessed with the moon and moon things everywhere.

42:19

But Anyway, I yeah, I Had Called out to Jesus for the first time around September of 2021

42:30

I was um, I Had a really hard summer for no particular reason.

42:36

I was just sad I was just very sad and I remember times where I would go sit, you know by the river and try and Give the water my emotions try and wash it away with you know, the current the trickling of the water listening to the sounds and Obviously never worked

42:56

I would feel that ache in my chest. I would try and journal it out never worked You know try to do all these things.

43:01

I was just an agonizing pain I was and it was translating into other areas of my life where I was

43:06

I Never fell deeply into sexual immorality But I was getting intrigued by it like married men people in relationships at my work like that We're trying to draw me in and it was like it was feeding my egos.

43:20

It was making me feel good It was it was I was just from all sides. It was just sin completely entrenched in sin and so September comes of 2021 and I have this distinct moment where I was

43:36

I was lying on my kitchen floor just Started screaming in agony like crying my eyes out because I wanted to die and I was saying out loud.

43:46

I want to die And I said Jesus help me. Mm -hmm, and it was and I said specifically

43:52

I said save me And it was the first time I'd ever said anything like that and looking back

43:58

I don't know why or how I knew to say that because I had never been told by somebody to call out to Jesus before yeah, and From there

44:09

I Started to see Things on Instagram about yoga being demonic just popping up on my page out of nowhere

44:19

You know good yoga is demonic astrology is demonic Tara's demonic and I'm a firm believer in you know willingness to be wrong

44:30

So I didn't push it away. Although what triggered me and I was like, that's nonsense I would start to follow some of these accounts just to see what they were saying

44:40

And of course, I follow them. So I see more of it and I begin to get curious about Jesus as a whole and my friend who

44:50

I've been friends with since we were I mean I don't even remember meeting her. I've known her my whole life She's been

44:55

Christian our whole lives and she says that she's been praying for me for the past two decades. I uh, which is amazing

45:04

She said why don't you come to church and so I went to church with her one day and I was

45:10

I was blown away by the way that the pastor was speaking because he was He was all he was really all about my same worldview as far as what's going on Politically, he was he was really kind of going off and I was like, this is cool

45:24

This isn't this isn't what I remember from Catholic school where we're all sitting there and also, you know it was he was like really going off and he was because they were in the book of Revelations at the time and He was saying, you know,

45:37

Jesus is the way and and there's no political figure that's gonna come save us like it's Jesus We need to turn to Jesus and and I was like, this is really cool and just I kept going back

45:47

Yeah, just just real quickly and just like time wise to this is in the milk kind of in the middle when everything was going

45:53

Crazy in 2020. I mean we all know how wild and crazy 2020 was. That's the kind of the

45:59

Timeframe that he was referring to the far the times of uncertainty Right, but this experience at church was in 2021.

46:06

But yeah, he was he was referring to it as a whole, right? and so I She lives in New Hampshire now, so she she doesn't go to that church now but I started going back by myself not consistently, but I would go and The one day

46:24

I had been saying just out loud I really I want a Bible I want to check out a Bible I want to see what it says

46:29

I can incorporate it into my practices because I was still new age at the time and I went down to kind of let

46:38

Jesus into my heart that day because the pastor was saying, you know There's no day like today come down Come meet him and he was he was

46:44

I felt like he was really speaking to me because he was saying if you're tired of Doing it alone If you if you have this emptiness inside that you don't understand like Jesus is gonna fix that for you he's gonna heal you and I I felt

46:58

I felt the Holy Spirit and I went down and everyone clapped and he came down and he asked me my name and I told him

47:06

I'm very spiritual but and this is all new to me and I don't really know anything about Jesus or the

47:11

Bible, but This is sort of starting to make sense And I don't really know what to do with it.

47:18

So he held my hand and he prayed with me and Lifted me to the Lord and he said let me give you a

47:23

Bible and he gave me a copy of Scripture just after the whole week I had been saying

47:28

I really want a Bible and so I started reading the Bible in September 2021 and October 2021 and I at that point was

47:38

Really excited about Jesus. I felt like I was welcome welcoming him into my heart and into my life and forming a relationship with him but it was

47:49

In a way still a new agey Jesus because I thought I could do both I thought well

47:56

Why does astrology have to be a bad thing? Why does yoga have to be a bad thing?

48:01

If I if I turn on worship music if I kind of read scripture before or after Maybe I can start to weave

48:12

God as the focal point into these Astrological readings when I talk about the moon and if you go back to those episodes

48:18

The past I don't know the last like five or six of them when I do the moon reports I talk about God But it doesn't it feels off.

48:27

It feels off and and I when I'm teaching yoga, I would say God and You just in the room like people didn't it didn't register with people like it like it didn't belong there because it doesn't

48:41

But I was I was trying I was really trying to be a new age Christian if you will kind of had one foot in and one foot out and then

48:51

You know what happens when you get deeper into the Bible it convicts you I kept reading it and I started to reach out to Different Christians on Instagram and say hey, you know

49:02

I really like astrology and you know I know God created the planets and stars and the Sun and the moon and you know

49:09

Is it really such a bad thing that me you know to think that maybe this he wants us to know these things so that we?

49:15

Can kind of figure out how to best serve him in life by knowing the the astrology like my intentions were pure But as I always say, you know that saying goes the road to hell is paved with good intentions, you know, so I really wanted it and Somebody sent me

49:35

Isaiah Isaiah 47 where it talks about I Want to read the verse because this is the verse that really did it for me

49:46

I have so many verses here You are wearied with your many counsels Let them stand forth and save you those who divide the heavens who gaze at the stars

49:54

Who at the new moons make known what shall come upon you behold there like stubble the fire consumes them

50:01

They cannot deliver themselves from the power of the flame. No coal for warming oneself is this no fire to sit before Such to you are those with whom you have labored who have done business with you from your youth

50:14

They wander about each in his own direction. There is no one to save you and Something happened to me that night when

50:22

I first read that and this was in late November of 2021 and It was it was a lot it was it was just it was conviction that's what

50:32

I know it is now, but back then it just felt like this wave of of Of Change and I couldn't put my finger on why or how what it meant and I called my best friend the next day

50:46

Sobbing and I said I I need to stop astrology. I need to give the podcast if I can't do this anymore

50:51

It's it's all bad. I can't do yoga anymore. I don't know what's happening to me and she said nothing's wrong with you

50:57

You know, you're this is what God wants. It's okay to follow that and then I released that episode in 2021.

51:04

I Officially Renounced all of it and I went to her house That same week with all my stuff.

51:11

I gathered all the crystals I gathered all the old books all my old journals all my props my decorations

51:19

Including that symbol above my head and we burned it all we burned it all in a fire at her house and the stuff that was too heavy her dad just her dad just took and he took it to like one of those lots, but it was

51:37

That night was it was was was intense for me and I remember when I came home I was I was exhausted

51:43

I was depleted in a way. I had never felt before and I really feel like it was it was

51:48

Because I no longer had all those spirits attached to me that had been attached to me for so long and it just Absolutely exhausted my physical being

51:59

As amazing is absolutely amazing the power of God's grace like it reminds me of John 14 with the

52:06

Holy Spirit says he's gonna he's gonna convict the world of sin and righteousness, right? then we have God guiding you to his word in which convicts you of your sin and then you making a

52:15

Statement like a repentance like literally repentance you went from one direction to another you went from Looking for peace or knowledge or esoteric mystery to be revealed

52:25

In astrology looking at the moon and thing like things like that You turned away from that and you turn towards God and his word and it's so amazing

52:32

It's like even even Doreen right like Doreen virtue. She said Deuteronomy 18 like absolutely

52:38

Convicted her made her like stop in her tracks and that's what the the Word of God does so what's so encouraging about that sister is when

52:45

I hear that is when you look back at at your life and how you were the Coolest thing is this is that when the

52:51

Sun sets you free you are in free indeed. None of that in your past Right affects your position before God now

52:58

Because now Jesus is blood blood has covered your sins and you are free to worship him in spirit and in truth so you have the objective point now to look back into your life and say look these are the things that I was doing wrong and Now I'm going to follow

53:14

God and I'm gonna try to stop other people or try to help them out of this area Like that's that's an amazing thing

53:20

It's like you saw you you know who the truth is. The truth is a person is Jesus Christ You're in a relationship with him and now you want to help others.

53:28

It's like it's amazing So I want you hopefully when you look back at your life and see the things that you were into to not look back at them and go man like Look at this horrible person

53:39

I am or whatever things of that nature go No, look who I was I was dead because like you you even said it's crazy

53:45

It's crazy that I believed I was a starseed. Let me tell you something There's a lot of crazy things people believe People believe they're descendants of fish and I'd say that's the majority of the world that believes that literally it's the

53:56

Grace of God that gets you to love his word and now you move on you press forward you persevere to the end

54:02

You run your race and set your eyes on what is ahead of you, right? Keep your eyes focused on those heavenly promises of God and it's an amazing thing.

54:09

Like you are now Adopted as a child of God through the blood of Jesus Christ. That's your position now

54:15

And I think that's just a phenomenal thing it's very encouraging to hear your story because it reminds us that there's hope and that hope is

54:23

Jesus Christ that regardless of Some people that I even I've grown up with that I that I'm still friends with in the in the way

54:29

They are it gives me hope to know that Jesus is not far off from them You know what?

54:34

I mean that he can he can save them and I'm just I'm happy for you. Really. Oh, yeah it's it's um, it's been a really humbling and Wild experience because yeah,

54:47

I do look back sometimes and I and I can't feel shame but mostly I feel heartache for that person for that former version of myself who was just dead in her sin and didn't know it because like I said,

54:58

I was I was Psychologically, I was emotionally and spiritually just unwell. I was unwell and I and I needed help

55:07

I needed Jesus and so my heart mostly breaks for her, but I I'm so grateful that the

55:15

Lord saved me because I'm just I mean, we're all unworthy of that Yeah, and for him to deem me worthy.

55:22

I Don't know how I could ever take that for granted. So when people say to me now, you know How can you make

55:27

God your whole life? You know, why is Jesus everything to you? That's why and that's why I get so emotional because yeah,

55:33

I was unworthy And he saved me anyway, yeah Yeah, um, no

55:39

Angel Thank you again so much for sharing that and just being vulnerable with and it's just just a testament to just God's grace of where Where you came from, you know to where you are now and one thing

55:50

I just want to maybe just encourage you with is That and maybe just share you a quick story is so, you know

55:57

We're part of apology of studios apology of studios was initially apology a church We were planted out of a drug and alcohol recovery facility

56:04

So 90 % of our congregation were people coming out of you know the worst of the worst people from you know, prostitutes to drug traffickers to You know people who are using, you know, meth fentanyl whatever there do you name it?

56:18

It was just a place full of broken people and I remember specifically, you know Jeff had told the story one time of just at least two scenarios were both two different people came up who were brand new in Christ, but just had a really

56:32

Rough past of just you know, they look at they played they're playing in the in themselves, you know The camera reel of why did this this and this you know,

56:39

I was using I took advantage of people I robbed I stole kind of giving their whole resume of why they're not worthy how God can never use me and One of the things that Jeff told us they told them is like he says you need to realize that You know

56:53

God is sovereign over You know all of that and in those moments of when you were in your past life

57:00

Like God was preparing you God was actually preparing you to be where you are now

57:08

So it's very easy to look at your past when you're doing, you know The tarot card readings or the astrology's charts or where you know, you were maybe doing something to where you know

57:19

You feel like oh, no, I led someone astray. The reality is at the end of the day, you know, God is sovereign

57:24

He's preparing you to be where you are Right now to be able to tell your story which you know, praise

57:31

God we know we have a platform well, this is this will go out to who knows maybe someone who's Utilizing astrology or maybe is kind of even where were you were a couple months ago?

57:42

So that's one of the times where it's very easy sometimes to get you know

57:47

Not realizing what God is doing and get caught up in Replaying the past over and over and over again rather than being where you are at the present, but also

57:59

Focusing in on the future of not even where you are now, but one day how you see Christ in part one day

58:05

You're gonna see him perfectly Face to face and in that light. I just want to read this one scripture to encourage you

58:11

And I'll just jump back to you Angela give me your thoughts one of my favorite passages in the entire Bible when it comes to finding your identity in Christ and when you're dealing with that exact Issue is a 1st

58:23

John 3 19 and 20 and says that this is how we know we belong to the truth

58:30

This is yes 1st John 3 19 This is how we know that we belong to the truth and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence

58:40

Okay, so me a refresher cuz I'm gonna verse by verse scenario and it says if our heart condemns us

58:48

If our heart condemns us, this is verse 20, we know that God is greater than our hearts and He knows everything

58:57

So it's saying, you know, you have those areas in which your heart condemns you but God is God knows everything and He doesn't condemn you.

59:05

He's accepted you He's you're already a daughter of God and you've been accepted by the complete

59:11

Work done by Christ on the cross like that's the power and the beauty of the cross that you were saved by grace apart from works your clothed and white robes in his righteousness and You're perfect and accepted before him and I think that's just something that I think

59:27

Christians deal with in general, whatever their past is where you know, the enemy will come in and we'll try and Try and take advantage and try and set and give you

59:38

Words in fact We just had a sermon on Sunday where the pastor was talking about that how we take We take down we cast down every every thought

59:47

Cast against us. We take every single thought captive and that's one of the big parts of the Christian life

59:52

So yeah, I just felt it kind of led to you know Just maybe share that scripture and also encourage you as well, too Because I think this is something that you and honestly all of us need to hear

01:00:01

Yeah, 100 % I am I think about that a lot how How God is so sovereign and he knew the whole time like he knew that I would eventually wake up and Come to know him and he let me go through all of that because he was preparing me for who

01:00:24

I am now in Christ and Like you had mentioned earlier. It gives me hope to it gives me hope for those that are unsaved

01:00:33

Because even if you if you listen to the things that I said just shy of a year ago,

01:00:39

I'm a totally different person and that's scripture that we become a new creation in Christ and so the way that I used to speak and think and behave it's so far away from who

01:00:53

I am now and so to think of all those people that are in the

01:00:58

New Age or are atheists or agnostic or witchcraft, whatever it is

01:01:05

That it can just change at the drop of a hat when the Lord decides it's time. Hmm And it's really encouraging and it's a really great reminder to pray.

01:01:16

Yeah No, absolutely. I couldn't agree more. Andrew. Do you have any other thoughts as we wrap up here for a part one?

01:01:23

No, no, man. I think I think she's she said it well. Hmm. Well Angela Thank you so much for coming on and sharing with us and just real quickly

01:01:31

In case anyone wants to find out all about you So you again, you no longer have to the moon and back podcast, but you do have

01:01:41

Another podcast you've rebranded and just tell everyone really quickly about the podcast and where people can find you so I'm glad that you mentioned that because I forgot to I Relaunched my podcast in February and it's called heaven and healing podcast.

01:01:57

I currently have it on YouTube Spotify and Apple and so the whole premise with heaven and healing is to share testimonies like mine people that have come from New Age or Really any walk of life like everything.

01:02:14

I just mentioned atheism agnosticism Witchcraft, whatever it is addiction anything anything at all that have come to know the

01:02:23

Lord and to share those testimonies and to talk about things that are Culturally relevant as it relates to Scripture Politically relevant as it relates to Scripture Really?

01:02:36

Nothing is off -limits just as long as it relates to Scripture and relates to God and Jesus is grace and glory and salvation so Yeah, that's that's all about heaven and healing and you could find that like I said

01:02:47

YouTube Apple or Spotify and I'm on Instagram My full name Angela Marie Yuchi and you can leave that in the show notes if you want.

01:02:55

Awesome. Sounds good Alright, well, thank you all for listening in and we will so next we're gonna head to a part two with you in a part

01:03:03

Two we're gonna have a little fun. We're gonna you know, we had your linear your testimony. I appreciate you sharing all of that We're gonna kind of take a unique sort of apologetic approach

01:03:12

I guess you could say well We're gonna take because you have your old podcast is still up there if you go to heaven healing podcast If you scroll down you'll see the old to the moon and back podcast.

01:03:22

So we're gonna take clips of When of you saying certain things and now you get a chance

01:03:29

I guess I have to say to sort of publicly correct the record of With what where you stand now versus what you said then so it's gonna be

01:03:37

I am really looking forward to that conversation So we will talk to you all in part two in cultish next week on cultists