Is God Really with Us? Exploring Doubt and Faith

The Burden of Performance and Doubt About God’s Presence

It's a hard thing to do, John, when you're always ruled by performance and hyper-introspection, and am I doing enough? Is the Lord with me? We suspect that He's not. Does He see? Does He know? Does He care?

Our suspicion is that He doesn't. Is the Lord with us? Is He in this? I mean, how can we know? It's got to be in things that we can see and measure. Does the Lord— like, will He really save me? In the end, like, will I finally be saved?

How can I know? I got to do enough. Does the Lord really delight in me? Does He really, like, take joy in saving me? How can I know? I got to be good enough. This is what we do.

That's right. Yeah, that's right.

Israel’s Transactional View of God and the Love Revealed in the Old Testament

What's interesting, I've been doing more and more just reading of the Old Testament. You're in Exodus, so this will resonate with you. It is interesting how much Israel will project on God the theology they received from Egypt.

In that God is transactional. He's angry. He must be appeased. And so it's easier to appease these other gods because they're not as scary as Yahweh. So we're going to go back.

They're not holy like Yahweh is.

That's right. And, you know, we kind of know what we're going to get. And so I'd rather take a lesser power and know what I'm going to get. And then God has to come in and correct their theology. I mean, how many Psalms are written about the love and mercy and kindness of God?

Because Israel has to constantly be reminded of it because they don't believe it. They've never experienced, one, human love that way. But number two, they've never experienced a deity's love and affection in that way.

John’s Gospel, Nicodemus, and the Supreme Love of God

And I think it's interesting that, you know, John is writing this conversation with Jesus and the conversation, sorry, with Nicodemus and Jesus. And the conversation doesn't go like this. God got so fed up with humanity.

He finally had to send his son to correct it all. It's not what he says.

He says, I know.

Oh, the father loves so much that he sacrificed his son. And then Jesus says, do you want to know what the example of all supreme love? Like there is no greater love. You cannot out love in this way that someone laid down his life.

And that's what I've done. And so when we think about our relationship with the king, it is not based upon a criminal who's like, well, I got to do my time and then I can be set free again. And then, you know, hopefully I won't mess up while in prison so that I can get out on good behavior.

This is how we live. We live in a constant state of prison with God. And he's like, dear child, I love you. You've been set free. There is nothing that will ever separate you from. So first of all, I gave the ultimate sacrifice, which is my son.

And there's nothing that will separate you from my love going forward. And Justin, when we don't take God at his word, we're calling him a liar. And it's not that it's one verse that is obscure. I mean, how many verses can we quote talking about the sufficiency of God's love for sinners while we were yet sinners?

Christ died for us. I mean, how many verses do we need to quote, right? We love because he first loved us. So pietism, it robs us and puts us back into this transactional prison where hopefully we'll get through the probation and God will finally love us because we deserve it.

Right.