Equipping Eve: The Submissive Wife (Part 1)

Is the church today doing everything it can to provide women a firm foundation of truth in Christ Jesus? Well, it's true there's no shortage of candy-coated Bible studies, potluck fellowships available to ladies.

But beyond Sunday morning, are Christian women being properly equipped to stand against the same deceptions that even enticed Eve in the garden? In an attempt to address the need for trustworthy, biblical resources for women, No Compromise Radio is happy to introduce Equipping Eve, a ladies-only radio show that seeks to equip women with fruits of truth in an age that's ripe with deception.

My name is Mike Abendroth, and I'm pleased to introduce your host, Erin Benzinger, a friend of No Compromise Radio and a woman who wants to see other women equipped with a love for and a knowledge of the truth of God's Word.

Well, hello ladies, and welcome to Equipping Eve, the show that likes to open our Bibles every time we air, and learn the truth of God's Word so that we can be confident in our foundation of that Word when we are faced with the lies and deceptions of the age.

I am your host, Erin Benzinger, thanks for joining today. You can find us on Facebook, Equipping Eve is on Facebook. We're on Twitter, that's at Equipping Eve, and you can email me anytime. That is equippingeve at gmail .com.

There's also a link on the website, equippingeve .com or .org, and that will allow you to email me as well, so I hope you'll check us out there. If you're listening and you have been blessed by Equipping Eve, I'd ask you to reach out to No Compromise Radio and give them a thank you.

There are men who work behind the scenes there, and they are wonderful servants of the Lord, and I'm very thankful for them. I encourage you to reach out and say thank you to them as well, and pray for everyone there.

Critique of "God Winks" and Christianized Coincidence

Okay, what can we talk about today? Say someone just sent me something on Twitter. They sent me a link, and it's this link to this website, and it's this book that is called When God Winks at You, Winks, W-I-N-K-S, that's by Squire Rushnell.

Who is Squire Rushnell? So I went to the about page. Squire Rushnell is a veteran ABC network television executive. He led Good Morning America to number one, increasing ratings by 140 and growing annual profits to $40 million.

While ABC vice president family programs, he was a father of the acclaimed Schoolhouse Rock series and ABC after school specials. Do you remember those? Those were horrible, capturing 75 Emmy awards. After the tragic events of 9 -11, he left his six-year position as a cable network TV president and CEO to follow a lifelong dream to be an author and inspirational speaker.

There's really nothing in his biography about being a Christian. However, I suppose we are supposed to assume that he is based on the title of this book, When God Winks at You. I mean, that sounds like some really fascinating reading right there, doesn't it?

Let's see. The subtitle is How God Speaks Directly to You Through the Power of Coincidence. Okay, so When God Winks at You by Squire Rushnell, let's see, the about page on this book says a surprising answer to prayer comes at just the right moment.

Could God be showing you that he cares about the details of your life? Best-selling author Squire Rushnell says these silent little miracles are God winks, messages of assurance that no matter what is happening in your life or how uncertain things may seem at the moment, God is with you and will help you move towards certainty.

That's really what I seek in life is to be moving toward a certainty. Yeah. When God Winks at You is packed with true stories demonstrating that God does communicate with us, making incredible things happen in our lives every single day.

Now, are you ready for this? As you read the riveting accounts of everyday and famous people, including, here comes the list of stellar Christians that will be included in this God Winks book. Are you ready?

Tim Conway, Rudolph Giuliani, Billy Graham, and Don Knotts. And when you read these, you will begin to recognize the God Winks in your own life, both past and present. Through these tangible signposts from God, we receive personalized messages that reassure us, stop us from worrying, chart our path in life, and help us keep the faith.

So it's by reading about Don Knotts' God Wink that I'm going to stop worrying. It's not going to be through prayer and reading of the scripture and strengthening of my faith through that way and through being obedient to the Lord when he tells me in Matthew 6, do not worry about tomorrow, each day is enough trouble of its own.

So that's not going to do it for me. But if I read about a God Wink that Rudolph Giuliani thinks he had, that ought to do it for me. Really? Really? Is that what we've come to? And when did God Wink become a word?

This, if you hear me, I'm stuttering. This description, this book is using God Wink as a noun as if it's an actual thing. I mean, this man has made up a word, a ridiculous word, and he's using it. And I have a feeling, I mean, this sounds like something either Joel Osteen would come up with, or actually, it sounds a little bit like Bill Hybels and his God Whispers.

Although I have to say God Wink is far, it's far more catchy, you know? Hey, check out the God Wink. Let's see, a quote from Squire Rushnell, the author says, When God Winks, he is reaffirming that there is absolutely nothing about us he does not know, our every hurt, our every desire.

And that to me is very comforting. Okay, we should be on alert for the God Winks in our life. Yes, and for a limited time, if you order now, you can get an autographed copy for free. It's only $18. How God speaks directly to you through the power of coincidence.

There is no coincidence in the world. Actually, that would be called God's providence and God's design and God's sovereignty. Things don't just happen. So this, you know, this person sent me this on Twitter.

So thanks a lot, Janine. This is fantastic. I am going to start using the word God Winks and it's all because of you. So thanks a lot. We are going to start looking for the God Winks in our own life. And then we're going to call them God Winks and then we're going to rebuke ourselves and repent.

That's really the only answer to that. So here we are, God Winks. So thanks for that, my Twitter friend. All right, so that was my day so far looking at the God Winks. So okay, so what I really wanted to talk about today was a television show that I watched.

I know, I'm going to talk about a television show. That seems odd. But I was tipped off by a listener reader about a show that was going to air on TLC, the learning channel. And so this show is called Submissive Wives.

Why the TLC Show Misrepresents Biblical Submission

And this person alerted me to this and asked me if I had heard of the woman who would be behind the show and I had not. And so I did a little digging. The person who alerted me was a little concerned.

And quite honestly, I would get concerned by anyone professing to be a Christian who would agree to take money from a network such as TLC and be put on television on display for all to see. You know that your supposed Christian life will not be accurately portrayed.

And you know, you just, I don't know. I have a few opinions about that and we won't go there today because they are opinions and they aren't the point of this show. But I, you know, my antenna immediately went up because you hear a title like Submissive Wives.

You know this woman behind this show claims to be a Christian. And you know what the world thinks of the biblical idea of submission. And so really what you're doing is you're feeding into the world's view of submission and their hatred for the concept.

And what more can a secular network do than really mock the biblical idea of submission? However, when you give them reason to mock it because you misrepresent it, we have an even bigger problem. And so I'm getting a little ahead of myself.

So the woman behind this show, and it's not a series yet. Hopefully it never will be. It was a one-time show. Thank goodness. We are very happy for that. But the woman that the show centered around, her name is Tara Furman.

F-U-R-M-A-N. As I said, I was not familiar with her. Apparently she is a Bible teacher of sorts. She has a ministry. It's called Knowing God Ministries. And her website, tarafurman .blogspot .com, and also knowinggodministries .net.

If you go to her blogspot page and go to the About link, About Tara, you read that Tara Furman is the founder of Knowing God Ministries, Inc., a nonprofit women's ministry whose passion is to help women hear and see Jesus in their everyday lives, right?

As a speaker and author, Tara has helped hundreds of women develop their own personal relationship with Jesus. Okay, since 2007, her message has enabled women to establish a consistent and meaningful quiet time each day.

It has enabled women to develop the ability to hear Jesus speaking personally to them through his word. We're thankful for the caveat on the end of that sentence. However, we'll be a little disappointed in a minute.

Her message has enabled women to read the Bible in such a way that it is relevant to their everyday lives. It has helped women to develop their own prayer life and to discover the visible fingerprints of God in their everyday life.

Okay. Tara and her team at Knowing God Ministries has recently launched an interdenominational women's leadership group. Based on Proverbs 27, 17 and John 15, 5, Iron Sharpens Iron Women's Leadership League was created to train and equip leaders to be more impactful for Christ in their sphere of influence.

She has written Intimacy with God, Your Daily Guide to Prayer and a seven-week Bible study. Tara is a stay-at-home mom and lives in Cary, North Carolina with her husband, Tim, and their two children.

At any day, you'll find Tara sitting in a carpool, at a ballgame, or unloading the dishwasher. In other words, she's just a regular mom who also has this ministry. And so I was alerted to the show, and I looked a little bit at Tara Furman's website.

And then I, before the show aired, I was sent another link to a blog post from Tuesday, May 12, 2015, that Tara Furman posted. The blog post is entitled, The First Time I Heard God Speaks to Everyday People.

And she quotes John 8, 47, He who belongs to God hears what God says, is what she has on her website. The actual verse says, He who is of God hears the words of God. For this reason, you do not hear them because you are not of God.

And that is Jesus speaking to the Jews who are not believing in Him. And Tara Furman writes, I remember the first time someone told me God speaks to ordinary people. The year was 1994. It was my first year in the singles Bible study fellowship class.

Bible study fellowship, ladies, I'm going to interject here. That's a whole other topic for another day that will, Lord willing, be addressed at one sometime in the future. But let me just say this to begin with, when I read that BSF was a part of this woman's background, I was not surprised by some of the trajectory that I see she has taken.

The blog post goes on, I asked a friend, how do the leaders become leaders in BSF? And my friend said, God calls them. And Tara said, what do you mean God calls them? And the friend said, He tells them to do it.

Okay, I'm going to stop for a second here and take a tangent I didn't plan on taking. I have been involved in BSF and I have been, quote unquote, called into leadership in BSF. God doesn't tell you to do it.

So that friend of Tara Furman's lied. What happens is the leadership in your local group decides that they need more leaders and they pick people and they meet with you and they tell you that if they are asking you to become a leader in BSF, it must mean that God is calling you into leadership.

That is the language they use. You don't hear a voice from God. If you do, we have bigger issues. So I'm just throwing that out there as someone who has actually experienced that. As I said, a story for another day.

Stay tuned. Tara goes on and says, I remember thinking that was one of the weirdest, kookiest things I had ever heard. I wanted to leave and never come back. And she should have probably listened to that, that hunch.

But I didn't leave. I stayed for 12 years. Ironically, God would tell me to leave through Deuteronomy 1 .6. Alert, scripture is about to be taken out of context. And she quotes that scripture and says, you have stayed long enough of this mountain break camp in advance.

You know? And she says, I love it when God is that direct. Yeah, you know, God was being that direct to the Israelites. Not you. You're not at a mountain. Don't break camp in advance. You're not an Israelite.

Is it that hard? Is it really that hard? And the sad thing is, this woman is taking the scripture out of context, thinking God is speaking to her through this historical narrative scripture describing the Israelites.

And she's been in a Bible study, quote unquote, Bible study fellowship for 12 years, and yet is misapplying scripture this grievously. That is a problem, my friends. She goes on and says, God speaking and connecting personally with his creation is not weird or kooky.

The more I understand scripture, the more I understand how personal and intimate God desires to be with each one of us. Each one of us. That means the one who has worn a scarlet letter, the one who may have limited Bible knowledge, the one who was not raised going to church, the one who has major life issues and struggles, the one who may feel so unworthy.

Now that I know God speaks to the ordinary everyday people, I can't live without his tender, sweet voice, especially during seasons of difficulty and hardship. Do you want to understand more about hearing God speak personally to you?

Friday's lunch must have been giving a luncheon is for you. But if you can't come read my book. Convenient. So she is going to teach you how to hear from God. Let me just tell you again to open your Bible if you want to hear from God and read it in context.

Please don't pull Deuteronomy 1 6 out and think that God is telling you to break camp at your mountain. I mean, if we all read that and said, oh, God's speaking this to me, we'd all be moving all the time.

Every time we read Deuteronomy, you know, if you read the Bible every year, you read through the whole Bible every time you read through Deuteronomy 1 6, you know, you'd be moving every, you know, late January because you'd have to leave every time God told you to break camp in advance.

It makes no sense. It's it's silly. And this is. This is a perfect example of poor Bible study, poor equipping and not understanding how to rightly apply God's word. But this woman has a ministry for women.

And she has now been the star of a show on TLC about submission. So this is the background of her. This is a woman who thinks that God is speaking to you and in your everyday life. And she doesn't blatantly say it's outside of Scripture.

She's not saying she heard a voice from God. But we can be concerned about the way that she has applied the Scripture there. And so the show aired and I watched it and I was very frustrated throughout the entire show.

Biblical Equality, Creation Order, and the Meaning of Submission

Now, here's the thing, ladies. There is a concept of submission in the Bible. There is a concept that the wife submits to the husband. And there is a way to rightly understand that and a way to wrongly understand it.

There's a way to rightly portray it to the world and there is a way to wrongly portray it to the world. And what has happened in this show is it has been wrongly portrayed to the world. Now, I can hear some of you saying, but Erin, you are not married.

You cannot speak to biblical submission in marriage. Well, here's the beauty of the Bible. The beauty of the Bible is that I do not need to embody the characteristics of the different types of people described in the Bible to understand what the Bible is saying to them.

In other words, because that is probably not the best way to explain what I'm trying to get at. In other words, I do not need to be a pastor to understand what Paul is saying to Timothy. I do not need to be a husband to understand what God is saying to husbands.

I do not need to be a man to understand what God is saying to men and the commands he gives them. I can still understand the Scripture. And so I know that there is a temptation to not listen to certain people on certain topics because they don't embody that topic.

You aren't married. You can't talk about marriage. I'm not here to talk about marriage. I am here to talk about what the Bible says about marriage. And I am here to warn against a gross misrepresentation of marriage and submission that has been now broadcast for the entire country to see.

Now, how many people tuned into the show? I don't know. I hope not many. Because it was a grievous misrepresentation, not just of marriage, but of the Lord Jesus Christ. And I will stand by that. And so I was watching the show and one of the things that stuck out to me the most.

Now, what this was, was, you know, like a reality show type thing. And so there were a lot of interviews with Tara. There was another couple that was just entering into this idea of submissive marriage.

And Tara was helping them along. And Tara and her husband were saying that they've been doing this for, they've been married for, I think, 20 years. And if I remember correctly, she started being a submissive wife 10 years into the marriage or so.

And, you know, and everything's wonderful now. Everything is rosy. Everything's perfect because I am a submissive wife. And so what stuck out to me, what was so glaring to me was the pats on the back that were going around on this show.

I changed my marriage by being a submissive wife. When I started doing this, everything fell into place. And if you do this, then everything will fall into place. I, me, you, do. That was the theme of the show.

I think we had a little mention of the Bible, maybe God here or there. Christ was not mentioned, to my recollection. And the idea of submission was not presented in the context of the gospel. And my friends, that is the problem.

That right there is the problem. And so what we need to look at is the biblical nature of submission. And what we need to look at is what God says. And what we need to look at is, is that biblical submission possible apart from the gospel?

Apart from scripture? Apart from Jesus Christ and salvation as found through him alone? That is what we need to look at. Now, first of all, the idea of submission. A lot of people see this as meaning inferiority.

You know, that's why the world hates this. That's why the feminists, whether inside the church or outside, inside the Episcopal Church or outside the church, that is why they hate this idea of submission, because they see it as inferiority.

But we know from scripture, don't we, ladies, that God tells us that before the Lord, there is neither Jew nor Greek, male nor female, slave nor free. We are equal at the foot of the cross. We are all sinners.

We are all saved the same way. We are all brought to repentance and faith in Jesus Christ. And it is faith in him and his work alone that attains our salvation. It does not matter what our status is in life.

It does not matter what our gender is, what our color is. None of it matters. Okay, so we know that, that we are equal before the Lord. We also know that God created Eve as a helpmate for Adam. She was created second.

The divine order of men and women does have the woman subordinate to man. John MacArthur, in his book, God's High Calling for Women, says God ordained woman's subordinate role in his order of creation.

He created Adam first, then Eve. She was to follow his lead, live on his provisions, and find safety in his strength and protection through his courage. The tendency to follow was built into Eve, but with the fall came conflict.

The subordinate role of women is not a cultural issue. You know, we hear that a lot. Well, Paul was addressing a cultural issue. No, not, not really. And we see that back in Genesis 3. We see how Eve attempted to usurp the role of headship.

We see what happened. MacArthur writes, Eve was not suited by nature to assume the position of ultimate responsibility. When she stepped out from under the protection and leadership of Adam, she was highly vulnerable and fell.

And, of course, when Adam violated his leadership role and followed Eve, though it was not he who was deceived, the perversion of God's order was complete. Their fall resulted not simply from disobedience to God's command, but from violating God's appointed roles for the sexes.

This is not to say that Adam is less culpable than Eve or that she was more defective. Eve showed by her deception, says MacArthur, that she was unable to lead effectively. She met her match in Satan.

The Greek word translated deceived in verse 14 is a strong term, stronger than the common Greek word for deceived. It refers to being thoroughly deceived. So we conclude that when a woman leaves the shelter of her protector, she has a certain amount of vulnerability.

Just as women need men, so men need women. That's really important because we are all vulnerable in different ways. But at the same time, God has ordained a certain role that does not make women inferior.

You think about it. We read in the scriptures how the Lord Jesus Christ in his earthly ministry submitted to the Father. Does that mean that Jesus is inferior to the Father? No. We know that he also said, I and the Father are one.

But he submitted to the Father's will in his earthly ministry. It does not imply inferiority. And so that is really important to understand. And that is something that the world does not understand. And they hear submission and they cringe and they shudder and they bristle and they want to stand against the idea of submission.

Ephesians 5 and Colossians 3 in Context

Another point that MacArthur makes when he is talking about Ephesians 5. This is a blog post on the Grace To You website called The Submissive Wife. And he says, notice that the word submit. He's talking about Ephesians 5 .21, which reads, 5 .22, I'm sorry, Wives, be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord.

MacArthur says the word submit is not the word obey. What it calls for is an active, deliberate, loving, intelligent devotion to the husband's noble aspirations and ambitions. It does not demand blind, fawning, slavish kowtowing to his every whim.

The Greek word for obey would be hupakouo. And that is what Paul demanded of children in Ephesians 6 .1 and slaves in 6 .5. But a wife is neither a child nor a slave, waiting on her husband while he sits in an easy chair and issues commands.

Hand me the remote, get me something to drink, fix me a snack. Marriage is a much more personal and intimate relationship than that. It's a union, a partnership, a singular mutual devotion. And that truth is emphasized by the words your own husband.

The expression itself suggests a tender partnership and mutual belonging to one another. Why wouldn't a wife willingly respond in submission to one whom she possesses? Paul was subtly pointing out the reasonableness and the desirability of the wife's submission to her husband.

And this is the role that God himself ordained for wives. And then MacArthur goes back to Genesis 3 and Genesis 2 to explain that. And so we're running out of time here. And so we will revisit this topic in the next show.

This is really more of an introduction. And I feel as though we weren't in the scripture quite enough today, ladies. So what I want to do is to look at that Ephesians 5 passage because we need to look at it in context.

Because what we see here in some of the definitions and explanations that we've seen of submission, we understand that the world rails against that. The world does not enjoy biblical submission, the idea of that.

However, what I saw in this television show that supposedly portrayed a Christian family was also a misunderstanding of submission. And we're going to talk about that more next time. But what I want to do is look at what the Bible says.

And this is just one passage. So please turn with me to Ephesians 5. And I want to give this context. So please turn to Ephesians 5 verse 20. And Paul writes, Always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father, and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.

Wives, be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, he himself being the savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands and everything.

Verse 25, husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for her, so that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that he might present to himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she would be holy and blameless.

So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself, for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of his body.

For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great, but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.

Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife, even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband. Turn also with me, ladies, to Colossians 3, Colossians 3, verse 18.

Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be embittered against them. Children, be obedient to your parents in all things. For this is well-pleasing to the Lord, etc., etc.

Go down to verse 24. Knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve. Notice Colossians 3, 18, ladies. Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting to the Lord.

Ephesians 5, 22. Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. There's a theme here, and that is, as to the Lord. Okay? Submission can never be truly accomplished, accomplished long-term, accomplished effectively, and lived out genuinely apart from the Lord.

Okay? And submission, biblical submission, will always be within the confines of Scripture. So when that means that your husband is wanting you to do something sinful, or do something foolish, or if he is pursuing something sinful or foolish, that is outside of the confines of Scripture.

And so now, ladies, you also have a responsibility as that man's sister in Christ. And so these are all things that I saw absent from this show. And as I said, we're going to continue this on the next episode of Equipping Eve, and I apologize that we didn't get to it today.

This was all kind of introduction. Hey, it's kind of like a sermon by John MacArthur, and I say this with all respect and love, because I have learned so much from John MacArthur, and it was under his teaching that I came to understand the doctrines of grace, and I listen to him every week.

But, you know, have you ever noticed that oftentimes his introductions are about a half hour long? So we just did that. So hey, look at that. I'm not equating myself with MacArthur, but I've learned from the best.

So ladies, this idea of submission, read the Scriptures, and don't just say, oh, I'm supposed to submit. No, read the Scripture. Understand what the Scripture says as to the Lord, because ultimately you are responsible to the Lord.

Okay, yes, if you are married, you are to submit to your husband, and, you know, he is over you in a sense. You are not inferior to him. He is the leader of your family. However, you still answer to the Lord, as does he for his leadership.

But it's not like your responsibility ends with him. You are to submit because the Lord has told you to, and you do that because you have been saved by the Lord Jesus Christ, and you want to obey him, and ultimately you are submitting to him, to the Lord Jesus Christ.

So ladies, that's really important to keep in mind, that we do not worship our husbands, but that we submit in a biblical manner, and we submit as to the Lord, as is fitting to the Lord, and we submit in the context of the Gospel.

So we will continue discussing this on the next show, and thank you for tuning in today, and I look forward to the next conversation with you ladies. Until that time, get in your Bibles, get on your knees, and get equipped.

Thanks for listening.