Household Worship - Part 6 - Order

Opening Prayer and the Aim of Household Worship

You may be seated. Dear Heavenly Father, I pray that you would bless our continued study of family worship. I ask that you would order our homes appropriately in Jesus' name, amen. May it be in cares.

Cares.

All right, so today we are continuing with household worship, and we will be talking about the order of household worship. By order, I don't mean just sequence, but in general, all the elements combined.

How the composition of these things comes together. You know, in previous sessions, we talked about the scripture reading. We talked about the prayer. We talked about singing, and now we'll be talking about how all those ought to come together.

And a few thoughts to start us out, because in this session and the next one, we're gonna be looking at some harder questions today, and a few things to be said about looking at harder questions. So in some of these things, there's freedom.

I have a couple of quotes I wanted to bring up. John Newton said this. The circumstances of family worship are so various that no determinate rules can be laid down, nor is the word of God prescribed any, because being of universal obligation, it is wisely and graciously accommodated to suit different situations of his people.

Another theologian said, yeah, a second rule that we must give you is not to attach yourselves too exclusively, too servilely to any particular form. Now, I find this interesting on a couple of fronts, because those, so I've read a number of books on family worship at this point, mostly older books, and those who were more intent on emphasizing freedom, two things I found interesting.

One, I felt that their work was less helpful because they were unwilling to speak on this stuff. John Newton, in writing this letter to a friend who's asking him for specific questions about family worship, he says, I'm not going to answer you because there's freedom.

And so that was less helpful than some of the other works. At the same time, a lot of these people are operating, I think that when folks do take that route where they default immediately to the notion of freedom, which is true, but when that's their default rather than to think about the question, a lot of times they're operating more off of cultural norms than they are off of a real consideration of where the scope of Christian liberty is.

Because John Newton, he says this, he goes so far as to say, no determinate rules can be laid down. Yet at the same time, later in that letter, he says, even the frequency, it's up to each family. At the same time, then he pretty much says, if you're not doing it twice a day, though, you're probably in sin.

So we have these people who are, when people take that route, a lot of times they just end up going to cultural norms. So it's good to answer these questions well. Some of the questions that we're gonna look at today, I asked from other Reformed Baptist pastors online.

Some of them were helpful and gave me a lot of good thoughts from their readings. Others kind of took that approach, too, where they immediately went to, like, I'm not gonna answer this because there are no right answers.

Or if you think about any kind of question about what should I do, there's a range of options. We could break it down into five. One is like, you must do this thing. You must not do this thing. It's preferred in most cases to do this thing.

It's preferred in most cases not to do this thing, or it's of absolutely no consequence, right, that thing in the middle. And a lot of people take offense about asking these questions because what you're doing is you're suggesting the answer may be something other than that middle one, right, other than that it's of absolutely no consequence.

Just even asking the question. There's no reason to take offense at asking some of these questions of, is there, in most circumstances, a better way of doing things than others? I think it's good to be complete.

Yeah, even about things that are more difficult, even if we don't have enough insight that we are completely free from all missteps, it's good that we should have enough insight that, yeah, we wouldn't wanna withhold it from others.

Okay.

Okay.

All right, so all that to preface some of these things we'll be talking about today and even next week. That, yes, while there is freedom in some sense, it is good to talk about the principles that God has given us and how we can best operate under those principles.

Sacraments Belong to the Gathered Church

So let's talk about, first, let's just talk about additional elements of worship or elements of worship that may or may not fit into what we've already discussed, which is reading, praying, singing. So first is the sacraments.

Would it be appropriate for a family to practice baptism on their own or the Lord's Supper on their own? Answers, no, that would not be appropriate. Also, me having prefaced all this with talking about freedom, this is not one where I would be very flexible on.

I would not be flexible at all. This is not something for families to do. Matthew 16, 19, I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven. Whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven. Whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.

We know from Matthew 18 that this refers to the authority to declare the membership of the church. This is authority that's given specifically to the church. We see that that authority only exists when the people are gathered together as a church.

Truly I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven. Whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them. All right, so when the church is gathered together, they have Christ's authoritative presence to make declarations about who belongs to the church.

Now, how does this happen? It happens in one way through baptism. Matthew 28, 19 through 20. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you.

And behold, I am with you always to the end of the age. So the reason I'm going over this quickly is because I know that in a not too long ago Sunday school, we addressed a lot of these verses, and I don't want to belabor some of these points.

But what we have here is Christ's authoritative presence. I'm with you always to the end of the age. And what is that authoritative presence for? It is so that they can baptize and make disciples, right?

So they can authoritatively say, this person is a disciple. And that is what baptism is. It is an authoritative declaration on Christ's behalf that this person belongs. Now, we don't have, we can make that declaration wrongly, but only the church is authorized to make that declaration when it is gathered together.

And if this is, how do we have that presence? Behold, I am with you. Matthew 18, 20 told us how we have Christ's presence. We have Christ's presence where two or three are gathered. It's only through gathering that we have the presence of Christ to make those declarations.

And so a family on their own, apart from gathering with the rest of the church, does not have authority to make these declarations. Now, this isn't saying that you can't have a church that we're to meet in a home or anything like that.

A lot of times people will sort of conflate those things. Like the idea that, yeah, some people think that there's some significance to the building or something like that. Like if you have a church meeting at a home, that doesn't have legitimacy, while the church that meets in a building, a larger building does have legitimacy.

That's not what I'm talking about. I'm saying that a family being separated from the church body does not have authority on its own to make a declaration that someone belongs to the church. Okay, and the same is true of the Lord's Supper.

First Corinthians 10, 17 lets us know that the bread represents the unity of the body. Because there is one bread, we who are many are one body, for we all partake of the one bread. Now, when do you have the authority to declare what the unity of the body is, who belongs to the body?

Once again, it's when we're gathered together. If we're understanding what the keys of the kingdom are, they're making these authoritative declarations about who belongs. That's what the Lord's Supper is.

It is making a, that's one of the things it represents anyway. It's making an authoritative declaration about who belongs. This is something that there's only authority to do in the gathered church. This is not something that ought to be observed on its own.

Bringing the elements to someone who is sick or when you're away on vacation, deciding to observe the Lord's Supper on your own. There's not the authority, apart from the gathered church, to make these declarations.

First Corinthians 11, 29 says, for anyone who eats and drinks without discerning the body, eats and drinks judgment on himself. And remember, in context, First Corinthians 10, 17 had talked about the body as the body of Christ being the church.

You know, it's important to discern the body. What is, so what is someone doing when they are off on their own, separate from the church, observing the Lord's Supper? They are refusing to discern what the true body is, right?

And this is something that drinks judgment on themselves. This is not a, yeah, this is not authorized. Any questions about the sacraments, why this would be inappropriate in family settings, as opposed to church settings?

Yeah, they're still gathering together. You know, Hebrews 10, 24, and 25 tell them not to neglect the gathering together, especially as they see the day drawing near. So they're not, yeah, they're not ceasing to meet during threats of persecution.

Yeah, they're probably meeting more, right? Yeah, yeah, exactly. Anything else? All right, so I did get a question during one of these sessions about the call to worship and the blessing that we have during church service.

And one of the ways I've approached this, I've said basically everything that you see in a church service that would be appropriate to do in a family, you should do in a family. So there's the question, well, is the call to worship appropriate?

Is the blessing, the benediction at the end appropriate? And this is a question I have wanted for some time to answer for myself. And yeah, I've done enough study on this at this point, enough meditation on scripture that I believe I have a pretty sound answer for you all.

Call to Worship and Benediction in Family Worship

Okay, so first of all, the church exists by Christ's institution, Matthew 16, 18. And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock, I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.

Therefore, its gathering is by divine command and authorization, right? Hebrews 10, 25, which I just alluded to, not neglecting to meet together as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, all the more as you see the day drawing near.

All right, so church is not something that existed from the foundation of the world, right? It's something that exists by the institution of Christ, something where it's gathering together. That's what the word church means.

It's the gathering is by the institution of Christ. So this is a matter of special revelation. Hebrews, which is a book that is really all about, all about worship, and maybe it would be helpful to, well, let me just make the claim here and then I'll explain some of this.

It warrants a scriptural call to worship. In Hebrews 3, Psalm 95 is quoted, and it is quoted in reference to the Israelites, but as something that applies to the church as it comes together for worship.

It says, therefore, as the Holy Spirit says, today if you hear his voice, et cetera. So you often hear this used in our call to worship, Psalm 95, which is quoted in Hebrews 3. Hebrews 3 draws from these things implications for the church's worship.

You know, even saying in chapter four, there therefore remains a Sabbath for the people of God. There is, it recognizes that Israel typologically pointing to the church. These statements where God calls the people to worship have implications for the church to come together to worship.

And many people believe Hebrews is a sermon. I think that's a, I'm inclined to believe the same. Consider what it says in Hebrews 12, 18. I'll start reading in Hebrews 12, 18. For you have not come to what may be touched, a blazing fire and darkness and gloom and a tempest and the sound of a trumpet and a voice whose words made the hearers beg that no further message be spoken to them, for they could not endure the order that was given.

If even a beast touches the mountain, it shall be stoned. Indeed, so terrifying was the sight that Moses said, I tremble with fear. Okay, so it's talking about Mount Sinai, right? Mount Sinai, where the earth quaked and everything smoked and no one was allowed to come close and touch the mountain.

It says, you have not come to that mountain, but you have come to Mount Zion and to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to innumerable angels and festal gathering. Zion, representing the church, right, on a number of occasions, including Galatians 4 speaks to this.

And it says that you have come together into innumerable angels and festal gathering, into the assembly of the firstborn who are enrolled in heaven, and to God, the judge of all, and to the spirits of the righteous makes perfect, and to Jesus, the mediator of a new covenant, that the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel.

So it talks about us being, particularly when we gather for worship, in the presence of angels, in the presence of the assembly of the firstborn who are enrolled in heaven, right? The spirits of the righteous made perfect.

There is a way that the church is spiritually gathering with a spiritually presence during assembled worship. And Christ's presence, the way that it's talking about it here is not a presence that always exists, right?

It's a presence that is particularly present in the gathering of the church. That's why it says in 1 Corinthians 5, when you are assembled in the name of the Lord Jesus, my spirit is present with the power of our Lord Jesus, right, when they are assembled in the name of the Lord Jesus, right, when they have come together as a church in the name of Jesus Christ, Paul's spirit is with them, in a sense, right?

The power of Jesus is with them. What Hebrews 12 is describing is worship, and it's describing something that is, yeah, he's describing Christian worship. This really is a book that is very much concerned with Christian worship.

So when, in Hebrews 3, it says, therefore, as the Holy Spirit says, today if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion, et cetera. Quoting Psalm 95. And it keeps saying, today as you hear his voice, and it applies this, it says, but exhort one another every day as long as it's called the day, et cetera.

The offering a rest that exists in New Testament worship that they did not have access to. Yeah, these are matters that concern special revelation for the church. So all of that to say, let's compare that to what family worship is.

Okay, if the church is instituted by Jesus Christ, not that families are not instituted by God, they are, but they're of nature, right? God has created the world in such a way that marriage is a creation ordinance, right?

It's not something that comes later. Contrary to the Roman Catholic Church, it's not a sacrament, right? It's something that's especially instituted in the gospel era or anything like that. It is something that is natural.

Also, prayer is an element of natural worship if you recall what our confession says about it. Quoting Psalm 65 too. Oh, you who listen to prayer, all people will come to you. Yeah, if God has placed his knowledge of us on our hearts so that every person recognizes that there is God according to Psalm 19, according to Romans 1, all ought to call out to him in prayer.

All by nature, right, belong to families. That is how God has created people to be in families. And so prayer being natural, families being natural, these are not matters of special revelation. These are matters of general revelation.

And so as such, to make a call to worship in a way that takes scripture that is special revelation, calling people to worship, that refers to Israel and then typologically to the church would be to misapply it to use it for a family as though it is God calling the family to worship in that passage.

He is calling Israel to worship. He is calling the church to worship in those passages. So I've written down a conclusion here. Scripture may be used to excite the family to worship or prayer may be used to delineate worship, but plain instruction may as well since it is a matter of natural revelation.

So you can say, all right, kids, we're gathering around for worship now, right, et cetera. So scripture regarding the church, either directly or typologically regarding Israel should not be misapplied to the family.

So yeah, I don't think it would be right to just start off the family worship with Psalm 95 as you would a church service, okay. So this is something I've been wanting to answer for myself whether or not, because the whole range of options, I didn't know, right, would this be something that would be right and I should be doing this, like I should be leading them in scripture to worship?

Something that is of no consequence or is this something that would be wrong? And so while you may use scripture to, you know, lead your kids, it would be wrong to apply it in such a way as though it were, as though it were God addressing the family when these passages are God addressing the church.

All right, any questions about that?

Yes.

Yeah, and that, yeah, I missed, I missed that. That was a typo, right. Yeah, either directly or typologically regarding Israel. Okay, so same question for the blessing. The benediction at the end of service.

Is that something that should happen? And I've seen, I've seen a number of people talk about family worship this way as like one of the primary things they want to do in family worship is to bless their children.

Blessing, Benediction, and Paternal Prayer

So yeah, ought we to have a benediction as we do in the church service in family worship? Okay, a few thoughts on that. First of all, blessing is a word that it's very easy to conflate definitions for blessing.

Blessing can mean a bunch of different things. For example, just consider these two passages. Hebrews 7, 7, it is beyond dispute that the inferior is blessed by the superior. All right, so superior is always blessed inferiors, right?

Okay, but then Psalm 103, 1 says, bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name. Right, so as David, or I think this is David singing. When he, when he blesses the Lord, is he the superior blessing God who is the inferior?

No, right, blessing means, blessing means something different here. Owen lists the, John Owen lists the following groups of blessings, a positive benediction, which is to effectively, effectually communicate the matter of benefit.

So if you like actually give something to someone, right, you're effectually blessing them. This is something when it comes to spiritual blessings, only God can do, right? He's the only one that can actually effectually give that blessing.

There's also an authoritative blessing, which is one who is in a position to authoritatively declare what God has, will bless someone with. So like, he will do this for you. You know, he will bring it to completion on the day of Jesus Christ, as Paul says in Philippians.

Right, there's a benediction of charity, right? Which is to use your position in reference to God to request God's blessing on another, right? So this is when you pray to God and you say, God, please, you know, grant this benefit to such and such a person, et cetera.

There are also reverential blessings, right? Which is a recognition of one who is blessed like you saw in Psalm 103 .1, you know, bless the Lord. You know, Lord, you are blessed. What you are recognizing there is not, yeah, is one who is very blessed, who has much.

God is blessed in a different way than we are. We're blessed as people who receive. He is blessed as one who gives. It is better to give than to receive. It's more blessed to give than to receive, right?

Both of those are blessed things. One who has a lot, but the one who has a lot in an overflowing way is more blessed than the one who has a lot as a recipient. Okay, so that's just the first premise here.

There are many kinds of blessings, so let's not get confused about what we mean by blessings. All right, there are sacerdotal blessings. These are prophetic words with the authority of God that may be pronounced on the church.

Number six, 23 through 26, speak to Aaron and his son, saying, thus you shall bless the people of Israel. You shall say to them, the Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you.

The Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. So see, God is authorizing Aaron to pronounce this particular blessing because it is a promise that he has given to Israel and then typologically to the church, okay?

Ephesians 6, 23, 24, you do see the scope of the blessing given here. Peace be to the brothers in love with faith from God the Father and Lord Jesus Christ. Grace be to all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with love incorruptible.

So there is a scope of blessing here, just to the brothers, is to those who love the Lord, our God, okay? So these sacerdotal blessings, right, are priestly blessings that are basically a pronouncement of God's prophetic words on people, okay?

Then there are paternal blessings, right, which are prayers with the incessary authority of a parent that are appropriate for a family. You have these passages, 2 Samuel 6, 20, and David returned to bless his household.

In 2 Samuel 7, 29, you see an example of this. Now therefore, may it please you, speaking to God, to bless the house of your servants so that it may continue forever before you. For you, O Lord, have spoken, and with your blessing, shall the house of your servant be blessed forever.

Now, a lot of these scriptural examples, they are kind of mingled with prophetic blessings. They are mingled with particular promises, but, and that's what we should do when we pray, is appeal to promises of God.

But it is appropriate for parents to bless their children in the sense of praying for them. But this is done in prayer, right? Consider also the difference between Genesis 49 and Deuteronomy 33. If you're not familiar with those, that Genesis 49 is where Jacob is blessing his 12 sons, Deuteronomy 33 is where Moses is blessing the 12 tribes.

Right, so, yeah, Jacob is doing this as a father, and Moses is doing this from a priestly, in sort of a priestly capacity, prophetically. Now, Jacob is also speaking prophecy, but he's kind of doing the two at once, like this is appropriate for a father at the end of his life to bless his children.

I will say, by way of note, William Gouge, in his book, Domestical Duties, has a number of notes on this that I found very helpful if you want to read more about what it looks like for parents to bless their children.

You know, he talks about, like, what even postures of blessing your children are appropriate. You do see in scripture, you know, the laying on of hands, and what goes on with, the reason why you see the blessings with raised hands in scripture is because you can't, you only have two hands, and if there are more than two people, you can't really put your hands on all the people.

So this is how you bless multiple people. So those kinds of postures would be appropriate, et cetera, and yeah, on special occasions, it would be appropriate for parents to do this. Gouge also talks about, he goes through the different passages where the child kneels before the father, the father lays hands on him, and talks about the appropriateness of those postures.

So, but yeah, as far as regular family worship goes, fathers may and should bless their children via intercession, but they ought not to pronounce blessings as matters of prophetic certainty as on the church.

Right, like God has pronounced prophetic blessings on the church. Those do not apply. Those are things that are given to the church. They are not things that are given to families as family blessings.

And so it would be wrong to pronounce them prophetically in that way as we do in the church. Right, hopefully you know what I mean by prophetically. I mean, you know, as direct words of God that are promised to this particular audience as a whole.

Right, not every person who's going to be in a church service will be truly part of the church, but it is a statement that is made on the church. Any questions about, any questions about that? Yes, sorry, could you be a little louder?

Boaz?

Okay, okay. And behold, Boaz came from Bethlehem and he said to the reapers, the Lord be with you. And they answered, the Lord bless you. Yeah, so these are like, you know, well wishes, like the, you know, the, yeah, well wishes or prayers are different than prophetic pronouncements.

So like you have the greeting in Hebrew, the common greeting is shalom, right? Which is peace, like it is a, it is like a petition to God for peace on this person. That's the way you greet someone. The common blessing in Greek is kyre, which means rejoice, right?

And so you're, well, that's, yeah, that is a, yeah, that's a command. But there's also a, yeah, kyre, right, grace. Paul says, you know, grace. And I could imagine someone using that as a greeting in a way that is petitioning God.

And so it would be this, these blessings of charity as opposed to the blessings of authority, right? And so that's the question. It's like, you can make blessings of charity where you are petitioning God on behalf of another, but if you do not have a promise which with you, you can authoritatively apply it, then you can't make that blessing of authority, right?

Okay, okay, any other questions about blessings? Yeah, all right, well, I know I'm glad that I, that was something that like really, well, maybe be going too far to say it kept me up at night, but it was something that would get at me a lot of times, like, man, should I be doing this?

Like, if I were to start, would it be a problem? Like, what do I need to do here? So it's good to know what God's word says on these things. All right, special forms of teaching, catechisms. By the way, I would encourage you to memorize our catechism, baptistcatechism .org.

It's good for adults too. I have been very blessed by it. It's not just for kids. So prepared catechisms may be used to elucidate the word, that should be capital, word, but belong outside of worship so much as they are the subject of exegesis.

So in other words, I can imagine using a catechism to, in a number of ways, right? You have a passage before you, there's a catechism question that will help kids or the adults understand the passage, right?

It's appropriate to use that. You could even do it the other way where you, and this is what the Dutch reformed churches do, where they'll use the catechism as a topical list of verses, you know, and they'll go through the proof texts as the subjects of their evening messages, right?

So you could say, okay, we're gonna go through the catechism as an order of scripture to go through, right? But then if the catechism itself is the matter that is being exegeted, you know, you're drawing the meaning out of it, you're interpreting it like it is the thing that you are now treating as God's word, right?

That's where it would become inappropriate. Deuteronomy 4 .2, you shall not add to the word that I command you, nor take from it that you may keep the commandments of the Lord your God that I command you.

Okay, so just once again, two ways I would see it as appropriate would be you have a passage before you and there's a relevant catechism question. Yeah, teach it. Teaching it in that moment would be a good thing to do.

Or using the list of questions topically to go through scripture so that you can bring up those questions and teach those questions would be another appropriate thing to do. But then, yeah, if the catechism question itself is the thing being exegeted, right?

That is the problem. All right, Bible memorization also. Yeah, also appropriate, so long as it is communal and not individual. Psalm 1, verse two. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night.

It is good to meditate on the word and to store it and treasure it up in your heart. The thing to be cautious about, though, is that that can become an individual exercise, right, and cease to be a communal exercise, which family worship is supposed to be.

It's supposed to be distinct from secret worship, right? So if you're breaking off to do your own little memorization or something, it's not really family worship anymore. All right, okay, any questions on that?

Yeah, I'm imagining that like you're trying to recite it and then you all just kind of like sit there and you're just studying it on your own for a little while. Yeah, it could get, yeah, that can split off from what family worship is supposed to be.

Religious Thanksgiving and Mourning in the Family

All right, special occasions of worship. Religion, yes, sorry. They have some questions that you can ask. Yeah, and summaries. Yeah, I've tried using that too. So yeah, Charles is asking about Beakey's family worship Bible guide, right.

Yeah, I've tried using those guides and I have found it more distracting for myself than not. I'm sure other people can use them effectively, but I haven't been able to. But what I've found is most helpful is just kind of like making little ticks beside things that I want to go back to and, you know, given that, like this is a, it's worth it, you know, each go through the Bible, just buy another Bible, maybe even buy another Bible for the whole family, you know, and you can just mark it up as you're going through with highlighted as you go with things you want to go back to and explain after you're done with the reading.

I think, yeah, that can be, at least I find that easier than trying to follow other people's guides in the moment. But maybe if you prepared beforehand, it would be easier. Oh, I see what you're asking.

Yeah.

Right, yeah, it might be helpful to review it beforehand. But right, so if it's helping you teach the passage, that's appropriate, right. If it becomes the matter that you are teaching, it's not. But the, yeah, I mean, those things, because they are associated with each passage of scripture, they are designed to help you teach the Bible, so they are good helps.

Okay, it just means, it's a teaching, it's like a, so it means teaching, but typically it is a set of questions and answers about the faith. So like the Baptist catechism, one of the questions is what is God?

And the answer, God is a spirit, infinite, eternal, and unchangeable. So like there's, you know, there's like standard answers to these questions when you're teaching kids.

Yeah.

Yeah, you're welcome. No, that would be, yeah, that'd be perfect. That'd be perfectly appropriate, yeah. Yeah, I'm just saying that if you are gathered together for worship as a family, that to begin doing something individually would be contrary to the purposes of worshiping together as a family.

But yeah, and the other thing is, some of this stuff is appropriate outside of worship, right? So even if I'm saying in worship, it can be distracting in these ways, or it can be counter to the purpose of worship.

Outside of worship, it can be perfectly fine. So what I do for the catechism question that we memorize at church is I have the kids memorize that before we start family worship. And, you know, I teach on a little before we start family worship.

So I am using it as the matter of explanation, et cetera. But I'm doing that outside of worship itself. So it's not, yeah, it's not confusing the catechism with scripture. Does that answer the question?

What's that?

Oh, I did a second ago. But yeah, baptistcatechism .org, I'll plug it again. All right, special occasions. Wow, we've got a lot to go here. All right, religious Thanksgiving together as a family is appropriate on occasions of blessings from God.

Deuteronomy 16, four, you see the Feast of Booths as an example. Now this is, now the point is not that God's ordination of this particular feast authorizes, you know, particular New Testament holidays outside the Lord's day or anything like that.

The point is that you do see here families celebrating the Lord together, right? This is something that is happening in the home with the servants and those who are with you, right? So these are things that families are celebrating together.

And the, so the point is it is appropriate to also have times of thanksgiving to God together as a family. It's also appropriate to have times of mourning together as a family, like religious mourning.

Esther 4 .16, you see this. Go gather all the Jews to be found in Susa and hold a fast on my behalf, and do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my young women will also fast as you do.