Christian Grieving? | Theocast

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Do you feel guilty that you still grieve, you get sad over the loss of a loved one, or just loss of anything in general?

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That you see other Christians who have rebounded, or who've gotten over it, who are now happy, and you look at your circumstances and your situation, and you feel like you just, that's never happened to you.

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You just struggle. You're just sad. And then you hear things that Christians say to you, and it doesn't help, it only makes you more sad.

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Well, stay tuned. We're going to talk about this process of grieving, and what does the Bible say about it, and how long should we grieve from the

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Bible. Stay tuned. Hi, I'm John.

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I'm the pastor of Grace Reformed Church and host of Theocast. This is Ask Theocast, where we answer your questions from a reformed and pastoral perspective.

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If you find this video helpful, if you hit that like button, more people will find out about it, and then you can subscribe and hit the notification bell.

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That'll let you know when next video comes out. And I really want to talk to my own church members here.

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I feel like I've had a lot of conversations in this last year with so much loss that's happened, not only in our own church and our own culture, but around the world.

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I mean, even right now, we're watching the loss of lives in Afghanistan. There's a lot of reasons to grieve, and some people have dealt with horrendous loss, the loss of a parent, the loss of a loved one or a spouse.

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When I was 21, I lost my dad, and he was only 49 to cancer. A lot of people say a lot of weird things to me, like, aren't you glad he's in heaven?

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He's not suffering anymore. Or, you know, your dad is here with you in spirit. Neither of those are biblical or helpful.

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The reason why we say things like that in our culture, or even we will say, we're sending our thoughts and prayers to you, which are not helpful, is that we want to just get over the issue of suffering or pain.

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We don't like to see pain. We definitely don't like to see death. So when we're in the midst of it and we see it, we want to get it away as fast as possible.

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We want it to go away. So we say things to make it seem better, and that's not what the

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Bible says to do. First of all, I'm going to speak to the person who's suffering. It's okay to suffer.

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It's okay to grieve. We're even told as believers to grieve with those who are grieving, not go to them and tell them to stop grieving.

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It says sit down and grieve with them. Jesus himself grieved over the loss of Lazarus. He also grieved multiple times over just sin in general within the world.

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He cried. He wept. Our Lord, who is perfect, took on that emotion, and so can we.

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You can read the Psalms and just see how much lament and sadness that is centered around just pain and suffering.

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So don't feel guilty if you are grieving loss. A lot of times what people say to you, they're only saying it because they don't know what to say.

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They haven't been biblically trained on how to be with someone who is suffering. I know that there are those who come to you and they're going to compare, well,

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I too lost my dad or I lost this or I've not been able to have children. Listen, there is no two same circumstances.

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Everybody's situation is different. Their relationships are different. Their experiences are different. Everything is different.

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So don't try and do a comparative. It doesn't help either. For those of you that are watching this video and you were just crippled by just grief, just the idea of loss, everybody's different.

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Do not feel as if you're less of a Christian because all of a sudden you're not happy tomorrow and you're just skipping down the sidewalks because life is better than you deserve.

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That is just not the Christian life. So let's look at it from a biblical perspective.

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First of all, it's okay to grieve and there's no timeline. But Paul does say for encouragement and encourage you that we do grieve differently in that those who were without Christ, they have no hope past this life.

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This is it. And so there is no hope in their grieving. It's just grieving into despair.

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But those of us who are in Christ and we are suffering, no matter what it is that we're suffering, we have a hope that is far beyond this world.

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You see, we aren't told to make this life better. God doesn't promise you that all healing and blessing and eternal life is now.

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Eternal life is to come and blessing is to come and perfect life is to come and perfect health.

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This is why he says he's going to wipe away our tears. Not now. We grieve now.

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Romans even says the whole earth is groaning. We are all groaning in anticipation. And so often we walk with a limp and that limp is grieving where we constantly wake up every day in the reminder that something's wrong.

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We've lost loved ones. We have pain and sorrow and suffering. That's the limp we walk with.

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But we don't live in despair. We can walk in hope. And the joy that we find is not in our circumstances.

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The joy that we find is not in our attitude. The joy that we find is that our

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God will make all things new. So the believer that's watching this video and you want to help someone who is suffering, pay close attention to Paul's two commands.

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Grieve with those who are grieving. And then he says, Galatians 6, carry each other's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ.

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To carry someone's burden doesn't mean you are able to remove it or fix it or make it go away or hide it or dampen it or medicate it.

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It literally means get up underneath there and hold them and encourage them.

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You know, the person who is grieving loss, they understand if they're a Christian, they understand God is sovereign, that God is in control of all things.

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What they need to hear from you is that you love them and that you're going to be there with them no matter what.

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And you're going to carry them and they're not going to be alone. You know what the hardest part about grieving is?

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Being alone. That's the hardest part. Often people who grieve find themselves to be alone because it's not fun.

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It's not exciting. There isn't this progress. Grieving is a process and everybody has to get through that process differently.

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And even if you're grieving the loss of a loved one, there is a part of you that's lost and you're always going to have that sense where you're missing something, that it's gone.

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So my encouragement to the person who is grieving, it's a process and everybody gets through that process different. Some it's a year, two years, ten years where the pain and suffering is still there.

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I still miss my dad. I still miss my grandparents. I still miss friends who have died.

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It's the hope of what's to come that gets me through the day. But I still grieve. I'm still sad.

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And the encouragement of my brothers and sisters who carry me and remind me of Christ is what gets me through one more day.

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So Christian who is now watching this, be there for them, love them, care for them, and at times be silent.

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Just carry that suffering for them that they don't have to do it alone. If you're not in a good church,

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I would encourage you to do so, so that you can not have to suffer alone and that you can grieve with other people.

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I love how Paul basically describes grief. Grief is a community event.

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Unfortunately, too many people grieve alone, but we should grieve with each other and then encourage each other in the hope of Christ, not so that we get over the grieving, but so that, listen to this, we can endure it.

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We don't find ourselves leading to despair. Our grief can lead us to joy, but we still are sorrowful.

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So my encouragement to you in all of this, look to Christ, listen to Paul's encouragement, cast all your anxieties and cares upon him for one reason, not so that you can get over it, not so that you can do better.

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This is what Paul says, because he cares for you. Take it to Christ because he cares for you.

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And when you don't have the strength to take it to Christ, allow your brothers and sisters to do it for you. I hope you find this encouraging.

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If you have any questions or would like to follow up with this, please leave us a comment below.