Sexual Ethics And The Gospel (part 3) - [1 Corinthians 7:1-6]

Well today is part three as we work through what does the Bible teach about sex? sex ethic and the

Christian We started in first Corinthians dealing with a subject back in chapter 5 and there was incest going on and Paul had to deal with that Issue we move into chapter 6 and more sin than now in chapter 7

We're going to deal with this topic in the realm of marriage And so let's open our

Bibles, but I want you to open to Romans chapter 8 first the subtitle of this series is how to overcome sexual temptation and I will quickly recap what we've learned in the weeks past the first one is

Rehearse the gospel that is to say at the beginning of 1st Corinthians before we get to chapter 7 chapter 6

Regarding with this sex ethic and even chapter 5 Paul is making sure that the people realize who they are in Christ and what

God has done Because the Christian faith is not work hard do good try harder

It's in light of what God has done for you respond with obedience and respond with loving submission and so for you today if you're struggling with sexual temptation

Or you'd like to be more pure in your eyes as we walk through it I want you to be reminded of the gospel and what a great little

Summary that we have here in Romans chapter 8 of how great God is and then in light of God's greatness

We should respond with being pure with our bodies There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus Romans 8 1

For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death

I'm glad for that For God has done what the law Weakened by the flesh could not do the law could never save anyone.

It wasn't meant to save anyone It was to show everyone that they needed a Savior by Definition by intention by God the law could never save anyone

But God could save For God has done what the law weakened by the flesh could not do by sending his own

Son in The likeness of sinful flesh he wasn't sinful, but in the likeness frail flesh human flesh

In the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin he condemns sin in the flesh in order that the righteous

Requirement of the law because God is holy and just might be fulfilled in us who walk not according to the flesh

But according to the Spirit Can you believe God condemned?

Sin in the flesh I just think about it for a minute how great this salvation of yours might be

What if God sent the Sun because we were so good? Can you imagine in the councils of heaven that God said

I want you to go Son, and I want you to go check out these people because they're great people these people on earth

You'd be surprised unless you see it firsthand. They love me with all their heart soul mind and strength

They're loving their neighbors themselves. They love me. They trust me. They follow me. They submit to me.

They honor me They are so righteous. So holy so beautiful son go down there and check him out because I think you're gonna be really impressed

It's an amazing To think of the love of God when he does know who we are.

He does know how vile we are Sinful we are how far we would fall

All our sins before we even committed them he knew and yet God the Father Sent the

Son and the Son willingly went impelled by the Spirit of God to go die for people just like us

Is it good to know that when you think about your life and specifically in the sermon today? If you've committed sexual sins with your mind or with your body and you're a

Christian, you know, those things are forgiven Because God the Father sent his son to redeem you for all sins including these sins and if you think

I've been washed I've been cleansed. I've been justified. I've been sanctified. I will be glorified one day.

God you care for me I'd like to respond with now a new biblical gospel resolve to obey you in this realm

So that's why the gospel is important because if the solution today to overcoming sexual temptation would be don't ever do it again

We're gonna fall we're gonna fail because the law can't prop us up Here we have a great

Savior Jesus Christ who never failed in this area and he stands in our stead He stands on our behalf because he perfectly even though he was in the likeness of sinful flesh never sin in this area at all

Let's go back to 1st Corinthians chapter 6, please How to overcome sexual sin one rehearse the gospel.

We've talked about that a long time Number two don't rationalize sexual sin and that was in chapter 6 verses 12 and 13 just don't rationalize it admit and confess

Proverbs 28 13 You see some of the slogans that they had for rationalizing these libertines these people that just had license to sin in their mind

All things are lawful for me. He says it again in verse 12 all things are lawful for me

He says in verse 13 food is meant for the stomach in the stomach of food What do we carry you get hungry eat you have a sexual desire?

Just go ahead. God's not gonna condemn us for that We don't want to rationalize it. We just want to admit

God You say that if we look upon someone with lust in her heart, it's like committing what? Adultery God, I agree with that.

God, please forgive me. Please restore me Thank you that you've had your son pay for those sins and I stand righteously before you based on the work of another

Number three saturate your mind with the word we look at that for a long time Number four found in verses 13 through 18 and really 12 through 18 all the way down through verse 20 in chapter 6 is have the right view of the body

What does he say down in verse 19 to summarize? Do you not know that your body and he's talking about the sexual body that God made for you that he gave to you that?

He designed for you is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you whom you have from God You are not your own

For you were bought with a price So therefore glorify God with your body

So that brings us up to speed There's two ways to glorify God with your body in the sexual realm and that is one if you're not married

Stay pure and two if you are married, what should you do versus one through six in chapter seven?

So now we move to the fifth way to overcome the gospel way of overcoming sexual temptation And that is number five if you're married regularly enjoy your spouse

So I don't know about you, but I'm glad I'm preaching verse by verse Because these aren't topics that I just would normally pick

But I stand behind scripture and by the way in the last several weeks during the series I've probably gotten more positive feedback from this series and I have almost any other series

Why because the parents are coming to me saying my children get taught about sex

But they get taught about sex from their neighbor and from their friends and from the people at school. What does

God say? What does God say and I believe every verse should be proclaimed from the pulpit whether it's song of Solomon our revelation

Don't you and so we'll stand behind that and if you have kids today I'm not going to say things that are inappropriate.

We'll say things that are cloaked in biblical language But your kids if they're four years old, they're not going to understand if I say the word sex to them

I don't know what they think it is kissing maybe or something or you know, what sex is a boy or a girl? You know, you have a child and what's the sex?

They don't know and so you should say to yourself Gospel preaching is an appropriate is an ant is an appropriate thing for all levels and so far

I think that's been the tenor of the church and we'll look today. How do you overcome sexual temptation? Single you stay pure, but if you're married you regularly and often enjoy your spouse

Now let's read verses 1 through 6 to see what Paul is saying in general and then we'll dissect it a little bit and We'll work through this passage together

One of the comment first in the next several weeks short of Resurrection Sunday next week

We're going to deal with all kinds of subjects the subject for the married and maybe you say, you know I'm not married, but I'd like to be well

I think God wants you to know about this doesn't he very much so especially if you'd like to be married one day Maybe you're a grandma or a grandpa and you said, you know

My spouse is deceased and and if you're a grandma or grandpa, you should be saying yourself I should be praying for the church so that those young people and even the married people would be pure and holy and have a great marriage

Soon we'll be talking to single people in two weeks and then the married people should say, you know I know this message isn't directly to me, but it's for me because it's all the scripture and so don't say yourself

You know, I'm not married. And so I can't believe he's going to talk about this I think it almost betrays if you're not careful a

Selfishness where I want the message for me when this is gonna be good for the congregation Don't you want a good message for the entire congregation?

That should be your desire. And so everybody needs to know it even though it's not necessarily to everyone because it's to the married people

But for the single people, here's the standard for the people who would like to have a spouse This is the standard for those who are divorced are remarried

There'll be verses that will Paul will address to you soon enough And by the way, whoever said the

Bible is boring has never opened this book This is action -paced the last two weeks

I've not caught one sleeper in the congregation at all and I doubt we'll get sleepers even back there in that backsliding room

Whatever you call that video overflow room. You know who you are No, I'm thankful to you to make regular rotation because now the church is growing in numbers and we want the visitors to set in Here so they can hear

Gospel ministry, let's read verses 1 through 6 of 1st Corinthians chapter 7 and here we move to the second part of the book.

He's dealt with four problems and outcomes answers to the questions he received we don't have the questions, but We have his answers now concerning the matters about what you wrote

It's good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman But because of the temptation to sexual immorality each man should have his own wife in each woman her own husband

The wife should give to his wife her conjugal rights and likewise the wife to her husband

For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does

Do not deprive one another Except perhaps by agreement for a limited time that you may devote yourselves to prayer

But then come together again so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self -control

Now as a concession not a command. I say this Aren't you about with me and we'll pray before we start father in heaven.

Thank you this morning That you have given us your word and your spirit to help us understand

Father I would pray that you'd help everyone here this morning glorify God in their bodies

That they would give you honor and glory as singles Chaste and pure we're thankful that for the singles who have committed sexual sins that your gospel your forgiveness

Christ Jesus is a great Savior with all those to be cleansed and you would see those sexual sinners in the perfect robes of Christ's righteousness

Father for the married people today I pray that you'd strengthen marriages that you would help marriages to more reflect how much

Christ loves this church and how she Responds in a wonderful submission to him and father when there's been sin in a marriage how wonderful you are to Forgive and to clean and to cleanse and to purify

Jesus Christ death was enough for our salvation and father by faith We do believe that for those that are older or younger or doesn't apply to Specifically, I pray that you did encourage them today as they sit underneath your word in Jesus name

Amen All right I just said it a moment ago But Paul has two sections of 1st Corinthians besides intros and conclusions first section four problems.

He addresses those four problems unity sexual sin Church discipline lack thereof etc.

Now we move to the question and answer session beginning in chapter 7 So if you ever had to outline first Corinthians intro four problems now questions that they have asked chapter 5 verse 9

Matter of fact you can go back there. We can tell there's a letter I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people

So the Church of Corinth had Paul as a pastor 18 months as the apostle preacher and Paul taught them everything he knew

At Ephesus he could teach all the Old Testament in three years And so now he must have condensed all that into 18 months and they knew

Paul moves away and now the Corinthians have questions and so they send him a letter and they say we've got some issues going on Can you help us and so Paul writes back and we have this inspired word

We don't know exactly what his questions are, but we know what his answers are so we can make a pretty good Deduction and in this section from chapter 7 through 16.

He'll deal with Sex in marriage celibacy meat offered to idle spiritual gifts speaking in tongues head coverings, etc

And so for today, we're going to stick with chapter 7 verses 1 through 6 now

Interesting dynamics are happening here Early on in chapter 6 there were people in the church

Who would say things like you know doesn't matter what we do with our bodies We can go to these prostitutes and we can have many wives and we can have

Slaves and we can have other issues going on. I don't have to be faithful to my wife because you know what this body is

Doesn't really matter what we're going to do The spirit is really the important thing and they would latch on to a slogan like all things are lawful including sexual sin.

And so The liberty we have in Christ is never a liberty to sin, but they ran too far this way

If Bible truth is six o 'clock on a clock What do we do as simple people even redeem people we either overdo things?

Are we what we under do them? So they say, you know what? Let's we're not really under some law anymore

Let's just sin as much as we want sexually and Paul deals with that in chapter 6 But then something else was going on people over did it this way you live in a sex crazed sexual sinning culture

And it's just you don't have to look very far on your internet or on TV or just walk around a city someday to think this is a perverted culture and Some of the

Christians who lived in the perverted culture and who were perverted then became Opposite in if this is biblical truth, we're gonna overdo it the other way

We would love we'd like to be monks we're married now, but we used to be so Promiscuous before even in marriage.

Let's just not even concern ourself with that anymore By the way, they lived in a culture where and I just was there several months ago down the way just a few hours

Is Delphi and all of a sudden if you're a virgin you've got extra power if you're celibate you've got extra power

Celibacy somehow is good Paul writes to them. I Think it's perfect for us because what do you do if you live in a sex?

saturated culture What Paul tells us? By the way,

I think what also could be happening here is Paul must have been married his wife dies And now he's celibate and people are saying

Paul celibate So maybe we should be but they were saying maybe we should be while they were married So Paul addresses it.

So with these great trans chronological truths, we will see how Paul deals with sexual relationships in a marriage

I've said before that God made us as sexual creatures. God has given us hormones.

God has designed sex. It's not wrong It's just only right in the context of marriage and the

Christian sex ethic is not no the Christian sex ethic is yes regularly in marriage

No outside of marriage This is going to be a very interesting study because listen to a church father

Augustine what he said and you'll get an idea what the Church of Corinth is thinking even though Augustine was several hundred years later

That He thought it was a venial sin To have sex with your spouse if you would have sex for pleasure and not procreation

The pagans thought this way all the time sex is for Having children, but the pleasure side and the intimacy side and the relationship side.

No Now marriage is about a lot of things pleasure procreation great picture of Christ loving the church

Companionship, there are a lot of different things that a marriage will show But here there was this idea that do you know what if you have children with their spouse, that'd be an okay time but if you want to have fun you want to have a

Time with your wife. It's for a time for pleasure sexually then you go find yourself a concubine

And you can even think about it. Why didn't Solomon have? 700 wives and 300 as I say to the kids all the time porcupines

Concubines with this kind of sermon we need a little exhale for comic relief They had wives for children.

They had concubines for pleasure and Paul's going to say here Listen, of course a marriage is to show

Christ loving the church. Of course. It's for Companionship, of course, it's so you have a helper. Of course, it's for procreation, but none of that is being dealt with here

It's all about the pleasure of a man and a woman Underneath the auspices of a great God who created this for good.

Actually, how do you glorify God in your body? What's 620 say 620 says you're bought with a price so glorify

God in your body Isn't it interesting that it's tied to chapter 7 verse 1 to 6 How do you glorify

God in your body 612 to 820 don't have sex before marriage? How do you glorify God in your body while you're married have sex while you're married?

That sounds kind of funny to you How do you glorify God with their body sexually by having regular and often relationships intimately with your spouse?

That's good information for us to know so we can think biblically about this topic

Now they had a slogan in verse 1 ESV rightly puts it in parentheses so we can think that it's probably a

Quote from the letter that they wrote to Paul a summary of the letter The just the gist of the letter it is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman

No, yes, these great in many regards, but really NES has got it right here. It's good for a man not to touch a woman

It's the same difference the touch is a sexual touch. It's a euphemism for sexual intimacy and so somehow when

Paul taught them and then Wrote them and discussed it with them.

They've got it that you know what it's not good to touch a woman it's not good to have sex and They went off the deep end aesthetically

But he's not saying it's never good to have sex because in verses 2 3 4 and 5 he's encouraging couples to get together

So this is some phrase that they took out of Paul They took it out of context or they got it wrapped up in their mind because of the culture and they just said you know

It's not good to touch a woman both in Hebrew and in Greek to touch a woman is to have intimate relations

You get this with a bimalek and Sarah just listen to Genesis 20 don't turn there then God said to him in the dream

Yes, I know that in the integrity of your heart you have done this and I also kept you from sinning against me therefore

I did not let you Touch her a bimalek was not able to touch

Sarah this way because God prohibited it Proverbs 6 29 so is the one who goes in to his neighbor's wife

Whoever touches her will not go unpunished Paul cannot be saying

Celibacy is the norm if you're married now be celibate Because he's just going to go on in verses 2 through 5 to say no you should regularly and often be together

Let me give you from the text in verses 2 through 6 Three exhortations for married people today in regards to Sex in your marriage so that you might glorify

God honoring God with your bodies If you're married and of course it goes without saying if there's an ailment or there's an illness or husbands and wives are not able to physically

That's not going to be a sin But you're gonna find out very quickly that if you're married and you're able It's going to be a sin for you not to be together on a regular basis

Why because God has designed marriage for many things? But the context here is the way to avoid sexual temptation is to be regularly with your spouse

He's going to say there's going to be no desire of the man or the woman to go outside the marriage relationship and to flirt

And to commit adultery and to do anything else if there's a regular sexual component to the marriage

So exhortation number one if you're married on how to glorify God with your body

I Just already said it, but I'll say it again now to make implicit explicit one if you're married you are to have regular sexual relations

And it's going to be strange because this is commanded Verse two, but because of the temptation of sexual immorality

Rz. Nes says better immoralities. It's plural Each man should have his own wife and let each woman her

Let each woman her own husband Now already with this touch have

Conjugal rights, can you see that the Bible's speaking properly appropriately? This isn't some kind of anatomy lesson or some kind of graphic thing or inner

Appropriate just nice couch language with euphemism so everybody who's old enough can understand and those who are younger they don't know

Paul says because of Here's a here would be a theological description because God has designed you

To have sex if you're married because if you're not designed to have sex in your celibate Then you shouldn't got married if you have a desire from for sex

God has said this is the realm. This is the arena. This is the hedged in area where it's safe It's good.

It's holy. It's pure. It's right and Have have regular relations And so it helps for those who are tempted in other areas to have a regular relationship with their spouse

God has designed marriage that sex and marriage go together Singleness and abstinence go together sex and marriage go together marriage and abstinence do not go together

Love and marriage love and marriage joined together by a whoresome carriage right? I'm not gonna sing that song

But marriage and sex go together as well It's good. We have to laugh once in a while because it's a tense subject

By the way, my goal is to honor God by preaching this so you'll have a good marriage Am I also another goal that I have is just that I don't say anything untoward

Because you need the message, and I don't want to say something inappropriately so then you hang everything on he shouldn't have said that Be praying for me because this is gonna be good for marriages.

It's gonna be good for the congregation Paul says sexual fulfillment is good in a marriage

Do you notice the language here each man his own wife each woman her own husband polygamy out polyandry out concubines out

Each man each woman and we're gonna get into this a little bit more There's no language of the woman's a slave the woman's a thing the woman's an object

They were thinking this way back in these days in Corinth and some Jewish thought coming into that you pretty much owned your wife

She had to do what you had told her to do and she was second -class citizen We're gonna see in this passage you want to see the first equal rights movement.

It's by Paul Because Jesus believed in equal rights as well, and there are equal rights even may

I say it in the bedroom The ESV says temptation to sexual immorality

NES is right because the original is sexual immoralities just think of all the stuff going on and the prostitutes would descend from the hill of Worship and all these other things going around.

It was just a sex sick society And he says because of these temptations because of the temptation to sexually sin each man should have

His own wife and what that have is is exactly what? Touch is to have means is to have sexual intimacy

It doesn't mean to have like I own a pencil and I own a protractor This is the wife has the husband the husband has the wife.

There's a mutual symmetry here. That's just wonderful The husband can't say by the way like the

Jews allowed him to say I'm going to have a special time of prayer, and I'm gonna specially get to that lofty spiritually sublime goal that can only happen while I'm abstaining from the marriage bed

And I'm gonna go off on a retreat for a while and sorry That happened

Paul won't allow that Paul won't allow a marriage even today your marriage to say you know what we kind of move past that We have our kids, and they're out of the house, and you know we got married and that's for the honeymoon

But now you know we're past that we don't need that anymore I Don't want to be rude

But you should have thought about that before you were married because on the marriage a day that you were married you said

I do To a lot of things including Commitment to your spouse sexually should have how about this it's an imperative

It's a command All sex before marriage, it's always a sin all sex inside marriage

It's a delight to you to your spouse to God. It's something that honors God, and it's a command

Can you imagine it's a command and so therefore if you're here today and husband and wife are no longer together

And you're able to it is a sin And you need to back up to rehearse the gospel well.

He doesn't deserve it. She doesn't deserve it He does this she does that may I just remind you let's just go back to step one rehearse the gospel

What do you all what do I deserve? How do you help your spouse?

How do you deal with sexual temptations Paul says it's in the marriage bed?

the mutuality of conjugal rights Basically Paul is saying in this context there are other passages that talk about sex other ways

But in this passage Paul is saying this Married people should have sex regularly and often enough that there's no frustration or temptation to go outside the marriage

Number two how do we glorify

God with our bodies if we're married? well step two If you're married you have an obligation to your spouse to have sexual relations the first ones.

It's it's a command Regularly here, it's the obligation so it's different terminology.

It's basically everything here says the same thing I'm just trying to divide it up a little bit according to the passage verse 3

Look at the mutuality look at this equal rights. This is not woman

You know me Tarzan you Jane kind of language. This is she's an image bearer. You're an image bearer

The husband should give to his wife for conjugal rights Doesn't use sex as a weapon sex as a punishment

No, I'm not going to because you did this that of the other and likewise the wife to her husband Paul says it is a sin to sexually deprive your spouse.

It's a sin if you say yes, but I Associate sex with our old lives when we were pagans and gross and filthy

God says in marriage though. It's still holy and right Say well, yes, but no my spouse isn't a

Christian and and I how can I do that with a Christian? I'm not a Christian and they're they're not they're not saved

Paul says it's holy good and right There's no comment here. Oh if your spouse isn't saved you can say no

If you're saved you answer to God and say I have to honor him And if God says this is what

I should do for his glory and for what's good of my husband or my wife I will do

How about this for a thought Celibacy in marriage even in Corinth was sinful

Any ss duty take a look at the text ESV says conjugal rights again

That's another euphemism, so we've got touch have and duty. It's your duty It's a present imperative.

How about that? What's a present imperative? It's an ongoing command regular habitual often

What does this do to your mind when someone says do you know what? People should go to some convent someplace

What does this do to your medieval theology that says you know what? Sexual intimacy for children, but everything else no

You say now who says that Josephus the law recognizes no sexual Connections except the natural union of a man and a wife and that only for procreation of children

Whatever The reason is He's a bum or she's not attractive or you know sex is for children only

Paul says no, that's not right. God says it's not right. How about Philo? He said about people who had sex for pleasure in marriage that they're not people they were like animals

I'll just throw the quote up just so you can get the intensity of it. They're like pigs and goats Demeaning what

God has given the meaning something pure and holy and good and right That's not the way we're to think about it

If you're married today, and you're in Bethlehem Bible Church saved or unsaved saved or unsaved spouse

It is your duty to pay what you owe to your spouse now. You see

Mike. Where's all the romance? Well, that's song of Solomon and maybe we'll give some romance tips here

I don't know if I'm an expert in romance, but we'll see what we can do Let me just work through the passage first It's my duty

To preach this passage to pay what is due and Don't you notice here talk about agape love the focus is all here on what?

giving Receiving it's not that you don't receive in the marriage bed

But the focus here of Paul is to give to give to give doesn't that sound like loving God?

Loving your neighbor agape love to give to give to give then that sound like that. I think that is wonderful Paul says marriage without sex is a unnatural and be sinful of Course marriage is a partnership.

Of course. It's a picture of Christ. Of course. It's for procreation But Paul is dealing here with pleasure

John Crisostom said virginity stands as far above marriage as the heavens stand above the earth

Well when you're single that's true Jerome all those who have not remained virgins following the pattern of pure chastity of angels and that of our

Lord himself are polluted Augustine He said you should be continent like angels

But at least marriage intimacy isn't as bad as adultery Paul doesn't do any of that.

He says it's good. It's right. It's fulfilling. It should be pleasurable It's the goodness of God.

Can you imagine? Can you imagine saying when you walk outside you feel the Sun on your face and you think this is an awesome day?

I love this day. You're a great God Sun and the moon and the stars I have a new app on my iPhone and I can just hold it up to the stars and wherever I am

Even if I hold it down to the ground It's as if it could see through the earth It can't but it just knows it shows me that all the constellations and I just look at him.

I go. You're awesome You're great. You're wonderful Romans 1 is when you see the greatness of God responses.

Thanks honor worship and Then to think you know God that you could so design a man and a woman that in marriage this act could happen

Probably the most uniting Mysterious intimate thing that could happen that is almost a precursor to how great heaven will be is if you think that is intimate and that a sexual bed is

Wonderful, then the greatest intimacy is way better than you could ever imagine on earth

This is just a foretaste of divine intimacy Of course

I'm not talking about intimacy sexually in heaven what I'm talking about is the great relationship You'll have when you see

Christ Jesus face to face no longer with faith, but by sight It's the goodness of God one flesh

Paul said you know God gave hormones to people for a reason and sexual bodies and that was so they can have sex

Only in marriage and so if that's God's design, why would you say regularly and often no to your spouse?

Literally the text here in verse 3 is you are under contractual Obligation to be with your spouse regularly and often now of course the single people who are sitting here today

Who'd long to get married and by the way, it's perfectly right? I'm jumping ahead of myself to into two weeks But I'll say it's perfectly right to want to get married and it's perfectly right to want to have sexual relations

As long as it doesn't go too far in your mind when you start thinking about things that you ought not to But it's good and right because God has given us that desire

Here with wonderful as one commentator said reciprocity Husband wife wife husband further explain look at verse 4 for the wife does not have authority over her own body.

I Could sure make an application out of this for those who want to kill the babies inside of them Because it's their body, but that's another sermon, but the husband does and Shockingly Wonderfully Uniquely God loves men and God loves women and in his sight they are equal

Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body who comes up with that not the pagans and not the

Jewish philosophers But the wife does Rights over your spouse's body for conjugal pleasure

Giving up the rights to your own body for the other one This isn't holding out this is saying no

These are the hoops you have to jump through no submitting one at one to another in a wonderful way

If you're married your body belongs to your spouse One commentator said it communicates negatively his obligation to refrain from engaging in sexual relations with anyone other than his wife because the wife owns his body and Positively his obligation to fulfill his marital duty to provide her the wife with sexual pleasure and satisfaction number three number three the third

Way to glorify God with your bodies if you are married a third reason to think through to help you to do this regularly is

Paul says if you're married verse 5 you must not defraud or rob your spouse

Sexually Let's take a look at the verse This is amazing verse 5 do not deprive one another there's another word for sexual deprivation except perhaps by agreement for a limited time that you may devote yourself to prayer and then come together again so that Satan may not

Tempt you because of your lack of self -control That were deprived you know what that means it means to steal

So your husband owns your body, but you say no the Bible says that's stealing and likewise the other hand as well

We hear the word cheating all the time the language here is don't cheat your spouse

We think of cheating as the spouse cheats with another person against you Paul is thinking cheating is you ought to be regular with?

Your spouse, but you say no, that's cheating to Paul of course he thinks adultery is wrong But the context here present tense do not deprive never deprive stop depriving if you are depriving stop right now

I Say yeah, but you don't know the past of my spouse. You don't know this you don't know that just imagine the past of the spouses

They're in first Corinthians Don't abandon these relations.

You know what it's like you ever met somebody they say you know can I borrow 20 bucks? I borrow $100 can

I borrow? $20 ,000 and then they never pay it back What do you think about those kind of people?

I would just think they should have just said could I have $20? Because then I wouldn't be thinking of my mind borrow as I say you know you know would you like to have 20?

Then I it's just free and clear you can have the $20 this language here is Reneging on a debt.

I have a debt to you. I will not pay I don't know how you think of people who back out of what they owe people, but Paul says no

But he gives up an exception here Three steps to the exception all three have to be true

What's it? What's the exception except perhaps by agreement? What does it mean to agree?

Wife says yes, I'd like to just pray for a while, and we just not come together

But the husband says sorry honey. I can't do that. What does Paul say then? Paul says it's not agreement so deals off or vice versa

What's the second step to this for a limited time You can't say to yourself.

Well. You know that was that kind of worked out well Short -term abstinence in the in the marriage bed is pretty good.

Maybe long term would be better No, just for a limited time and then with the purpose to pray to pray

It's a temporary time And then it's time to pray, but then something

Must happen look at the text, but then come together again another way that Paul Just says this in a nice way in an appropriate way

Sexually coming together again why so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self -control

There's a protective shield to the marriage bed People say you know what yeah, but how can

I sleep with my spouse because our marriage is horrible Well, there's only one thing worse than a horrible horrible marriage

And that is one are both of the spouses say you know what we think horribles not too bad because we'd like to just open

The door and let Satan come barging right in Satan Paul knows and you should know too is powerful so Paul says

Don't Stay apart for a long time Come back together again.

Don't cheat your spouse The norm is

Christians will marry the ones that aren't Gifted with singleness and as a

Christian couple humble humble and wife Husband and wife sometimes. I need a little comic relief to you know what

I want to say is Husbands and wives well, I'm all say that in a second 1st

Corinthians 7 teaches that healthy sex life is a preventative for immorality And that husbands and wives should eagerly engage in sexual relations as a duty both to their spouse and to God Now what about this

Not having relations for a while and praying about verse 6 now as a concession not as a command verse 5

I say this what does this refer to this refers back to what Paul wrote in verse 5 maybe all 1 through 5

You don't have to so you know what look back in our last 23 years of marriage You know let's say we haven't had a time

You say to yourself where we've had the special prayer time then maybe we should start Paul says you can if you want

But it's not a command. It's a concession Very pastoral don't you think Paul doesn't talk like this earlier in chapter 1 to 4 about a lack of unity

He's very compassionate very pastoral Have a few things

I wrote down here That maybe will be good points of application I'm really not trying to I'm not trying to make a joke of this.

I'm not trying to be emergent I'm not trying to say you know some things that are inappropriate. I don't want to do that I don't need to do that.

I don't like it when people do that I like to do shows against that a no -compromise radio But I think it's also good to be a pastor and to try to do what

Paul does and that's be very pastoral husbands Let me just give you some advice

And of course if you think I live up to all everything I preach I know one who does live up to everything

I preach and that's why I stand in the good stead of Christ Jesus But these things are true

This is some advice. I'd like to give you number one husbands buy a lock for your bedroom door

I Kid you not buy a lock for your bedroom door I Don't think

I have to tell you why especially if you have kids if you don't have kids you don't need the lock all right One buy a lock for the bedroom door to Care enough to look attractive or if you want to joke out of it attractive as you can look

You don't like this topic resurrection Sunday next week

Singles married and don't get so you don't burn the next week divorce and remarriage the week after that Three study your wife and know what she likes and what she doesn't like that's first Peter chapter 3

For make it easy for her to say yes by being thoughtful loving and helpful Here's a big one of mine, and I'm gonna have to be careful not to launch on this too much if you'd like to be more

Regular and your intimacy with your spouse by the way the way to not do this is I got a verse from God for you

And use these verses in first Corinthians 7 1 2 5 as a club It is true that it's sin, and it is true that I with no joking at all

I hope there are many couples this week Would by the grace of God live out these commands

It'd be good for you Be good for your marriage. It'd be good. If you haven't had relations with your spouse for 10 years for 20 years to say

These are the reasons why I did it. They're all sinful. They're all wrong. Do you think you have it in your heart to forgive me?

That's what people should be saying Dad's especially

Why don't you lead your children into obedience? because disobedient kids

Are bad for the love life You can't get your kids to obey

By the way, there's no sin and letting your kids sleep in your bed. I don't think it's sinful. I just think it's really stupid

Now the kid gets in the middle of the night and he says, you know, I'm sick and coughing and you let the kids sleep

Because they're sick. Okay, but regularly I know people they say I let my kids sleep in our bed every single night

I don't know what you're thinking because it's hard to obey first Corinthians chapter 7 1 2 5 when you've got a four -year -old kid laying in between you

Yeah, but if they go to the other room they'll just cry well dad's lead I Guarantee you you're 15 times bigger and you go there and you say, you know what if you don't if you get out of that Bed again, unless there's blood you're gonna get a spankin

And you know you think you know My wife never wants to get together with me because you're a bad dad and you won't obey the kids and now she never thinks

I'm a wife. She thinks I'm a mom and my husband won't lead so I better too And so while I'm in the mom mode, it's hard to be romantic wife mode.

I Did not say it's a sin to let your kids sleep in your bed. So don't quote me that I did I just said it was stupid.

Okay next I Didn't say it was a verse either

This is my opinion. I think you should date your wife.

That would be another one. I have listened here. I Think you should scrimp and save if you're a husband to take your wife on a romantic holiday.

I Wouldn't have cared if I would have spent $30 ,000 on our trip to Rome several years ago for anniversary because it was worth every single penny just to get away from the kids

Just to say, you know If you ever go out of out of town on a weekend with your wife and the first two days The only thing you talk about is your kids

And then by the time it's talk about you each other then it's time to go home Start romance early in the morning being kind thoughtful I'm just kind of editing

You know what is super hard you should pray for me my wife is sitting right there How would you like to stand up and talk about this with your wife right there?

She knows all the areas where I fail and if I succeed in any areas, it's the grace of God Let's see, let me say a few things

Well to everyone by the way Whatever the level is of sexual desire in the person the spouse who has the most sexual desire that is the barometer for the marriage

You don't say well one One would desire many times the other not very often

Let's split the middle the way it works with the one and others and each is Paul says whoever's got the highest barometer

Then that sets the tone why because the idea here is again pleasure. Yes Partnership yes picture of Christ living in church.

Yes, but to stop people who are going to struggle with sexual sin Ladies let me just say a few things to you

Number one, I don't know if these are notes or not number one. I don't really know ladies if you realize how visual men are

And they have to go to work. They have to deal with all these issues and This is not the only reason for marriage sex isn't the only reason for marriage

But it is to protect the spouse and I think you should say to yours to yourself My husband really struggles with his eyes

If anybody here who would like to get married or is married doesn't struggle with their eyes as Danny Aikman say you're a liar

You are a liar because men struggle with their eyes and so what does God say?

There's one person that you don't have to struggle with anymore That you get to look at your spouse you get to look at your wife you get to look at her legs

To the bottom of feet to the top of her toes and you just get to look and stare and enjoy By the way, you think

I'm making something up. I don't think I'm gonna get to it today, but that's Proverbs 5 This is a made -up kind of you know

Stuff here So protect your husband By being with him regularly in the bedroom,

I think what's good for the goose is good for the gander look as Look as good as you can

Care enough to look attractive if you're able I'm not gonna say that The visitors today are going all right

Ladies Your attitude should be for the glory of God. It will be a joy for me to satisfy my husband in this area

That's what he's saying. That's what Paul is saying to give sacrificially to give lovingly

I Mean I just can't think what would it be like to have a bad marriage, but then say but I'm gonna let

Satan into this The Bible says the way you quench your sexual thirst is at home

I Think I'm gonna have to break this into two weeks. We can talk more about romance and other things next

Let me read the passage again And then we'll close now concerning the matters about what you wrote

It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with the woman But because of the temptation of sexual immorality each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband

The husband should give to his wife or conjugal rights and likewise the wife to her husband The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does

Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body But the wife does do not deprive one another except perhaps by agreement for a limited time that you may devote yourselves to prayer

But then come together again so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self -control Now as a concession not a command

I say this Let's pray father we do. Thank you this day for your wonderful word for your wonderful son

And for how you've made us given the opportunity for wonderful intimacy in marriage and To think all of us here fall so short of our standard

Yet Jesus Christ our Savior bore all of our sins And like the song says there is no work that I must add to stand before his throne

I only plead his life and death sufficient on their own Father I pray this week that you would transform marriages at Bethlehem Bible Church That you would grant spouses humility repentance love romance and an obedient heart to these scriptures

Father that you would strengthen marriages through this the people would see in our neighborhoods. Oh how

Christ loved the church How the church comes underneath the loving arms of her