Sexual Ethics And The Gospel (part 3) - [1 Corinthians 7:1-6]

Well today is part three as we work through.

What does the Bible teach about sex?

Sex ethic and the Christian.

We started in first Corinthians dealing with a subject back in chapter 5 and there was incest going on and Paul

had to deal with that Issue.

We move into chapter 6 and more sin than now in chapter 7.

We're going to deal with this topic in the realm of marriage.

And so let's open our Bibles, but I want you to open to Romans chapter 8 first the

subtitle of this series is how to overcome sexual temptation and I

will quickly recap what we've learned in the weeks past.

The first one is Rehearse the gospel that is to say at the beginning of first Corinthians before we get to chapter

7 chapter 6.

Regarding with this sex ethic and even chapter 5 Paul is making sure that the people realize who they

are in Christ and what God has done.

Because the Christian faith is not work hard do good try harder.

It's in light of what God has done for you respond with obedience and respond with

loving Submission and so for you today if you're struggling with sexual temptation.

Or you'd like to be more pure in your eyes as we walk through it.

I want you to be reminded of the gospel and what a great little Summary that we have here in

Romans chapter 8 of how great God is and then in light of God's greatness We should respond with

being pure with our bodies.

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who were in Christ Jesus.

Romans 8 1.

For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin

and death.

I'm glad for that.

For God has done what the law Weakened by the flesh could not do the law could never

save anyone.

It wasn't meant to save anyone.

It was to show everyone that they needed a Savior.

By definition by intention by God the law could never save anyone.

But God could save.

For God has done what the law weakened by the flesh could not do by sending his own Son in.

The likeness of sinful flesh he wasn't sinful, but in the likeness frail flesh human flesh.

In the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin he condemns sin in the flesh in order that the righteous

Requirement of the law because God is holy and just might be fulfilled in us who walk

not according to the flesh.

But according to the Spirit.

Can you believe God condemned?

Sin in the flesh.

I just think about it for a minute how great this salvation of yours might be.

What if God sent the Sun because we were so good?

Can you imagine in the councils of heaven that God said I want you to go Son, and I want you to go

check out these people because they're great people these people on earth.

You'd be surprised unless you see it firsthand.

They love me with all their heart soul mind and strength.

They're loving their neighbors themselves.

They love me.

They trust me.

They follow me.

They submit to me.

They honor me.

They are so righteous so holy so beautiful son go down there and check him out because I think you're gonna be really

impressed.

Is it amazing?

To think of the love of God when he does know who we are.

He does know how vile we are.

Sinful we are how far we would fall.

All our sins before we even committed them he knew and yet God the Father Sent the Sun

and the Sun willingly went impelled by the Spirit of God to go die for people just like us.

Is it good to know that when you think about your life and specifically in the sermon today?

If you've committed sexual sins with your mind or with your body and you're a Christian, you know, those things are forgiven.

Because God the Father sent his son to redeem you for all sins including these sins.

And if you think I've been washed I've been cleansed.

I've been justified.

I've been sanctified.

I will be glorified one day God you care for me.

I'd like to respond with now a new biblical gospel resolve to obey you in this realm.

So that's why the gospel is important because if the solution today to overcoming sexual temptation would be don't ever

do it again.

We're gonna fall we're gonna fail because the law can't prop us up.

Here we have a great Savior Jesus Christ who never failed in this area and he stands in our stead.

He stands on our behalf because he perfectly even though he was in the likeness of sinful flesh never sin in this area at all.

Let's go back to first Corinthians chapter 6, please.

How to overcome sexual sin one rehearse the gospel.

We've talked about that a long time.

Number two don't rationalize sexual sin and that was in chapter 6

verses 12 and 13 just don't rationalize it admit and confess Proverbs 28

13.

You see some of the slogans that they had for rationalizing these libertines these people that just had license to sin in their

mind.

All things are lawful for me.

He says it again in verse 12 all things are lawful for me.

He says in verse 13 food is meant for the stomach in the stomach food.

What do we carry.

You get hungry eat you have a sexual desire just go ahead.

God's not gonna condemn us for that.

We don't want to rationalize it.

We just want to admit God.

You say that if we look upon someone with lust in our heart, it's like committing what?

Adultery.

God, I agree with that.

God, please forgive me.

Please restore me.

Thank you that you've had your son pay for those sins and I stand righteously before you based on the work of another.

Number three saturate your mind with the word we look at that for a long time.

Number four found in verses 13 through 18 and really 12 through 18 all the way down through verse

20 in chapter 6 is have the right view of the body.

What does he say down in verse 19 to summarize?

Do you not know that your body and he's talking about the sexual body that God made for you that he gave to you

that?

He designed for you is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you whom you have from God.

You are not your own.

Or you were bought with the price so therefore glorify God with your body.

So that brings us up to speed.

There's two ways to glorify God with your body in the sexual realm and that is one if you're not married.

Stay pure and two if you are married.

What should you do verses one through six in chapter seven?

So now we move to the fifth way to overcome the gospel way of overcoming sexual temptation.

And that is number five if you're married regularly enjoy your spouse.

So I don't know about you, but I'm glad I'm preaching verse -by -verse.

Because these aren't topics that I just would normally pick.

But I stand behind scripture and by the way in the last several weeks during the series I've probably gotten more positive feedback

from this series, and I have almost any other series.

Why.

Because the parents are coming to me saying my children get taught about sex.

But they get taught about sex from their neighbor and from their friends and from the people at school.

What does God say?

What does God say and I believe every verse should be proclaimed from the pulpit whether it's song of Solomon or revelation.

Don't you and so we'll stand behind that and if you have kids today I'm not going to say things that are inappropriate.

We'll say things that are cloaked in biblical language.

But your kids if they're four years old they're not going to understand if I say the word sex to them I don't know what they

think it is kissing.

Maybe or something or you know what sex is a boy or a girl you know you have a child.

And what's the sex they don't know and so you should say to yourself Gospel preaching is an

appropriate is an act is an appropriate thing for all levels and so far I think that's been the tenor of the

church, and we'll look today.

How do you overcome sexual temptation?

Single you stay pure, but if you're married you regularly and often enjoy your spouse.

Now let's read verses 1 through 6 to see what Paul is saying in general.

And then we'll dissect it a little bit, and we'll work through this passage together.

One of the comment first in the next several weeks short of Resurrection Sunday next week.

We're going to deal with all kinds of subjects this subject for the married.

And maybe you say you know what I'm not married.

But I'd like to be well I think God wants you to know about this doesn't he very much so especially if you'd like to be married one day.

Maybe you're a grandma or a grandpa.

And you said you know my spouse's is deceased and and if you're a grandma or grandpa you should be saying yourself I should

be praying for the church.

So that those young people and even the married people would be pure and holy and have a great marriage.

Soon we'll be talking to single people in two weeks, and then the married people should say you know I know this message.

Is it directly to me, but it's for me because it's all the scripture.

And so don't say to yourself.

You know I'm not married and so I can't believe he's going to talk about this.

I think it almost betrays if you're not careful a Selfishness where I want the message for me when this is going to

be good for the congregation.

Don't you want a good message for the entire congregation?

That should be your desire so everybody needs to know it even though.

It's not necessarily to everyone because it's to the married people.

But for the single people here's the standard for the people who would like to have a spouse.

This is the standard for those who are divorced are remarried.

There'll be verses that will Paul will address to you soon enough and by the way.

Whoever said the Bible is boring has never opened this book.

This is action -paced the last two weeks.

I've not caught one sleeper in the congregation at all and I doubt we'll get sleepers even back there in that

backsliding room.

Whatever you call that video overflow room.

You know who you are.

No, I'm thankful to you to make regular rotation because now the church is growing in numbers.

And we want the visitors to sit in here so they can hear Gospel ministry, let's read verses 1 through

6 of 1st Corinthians chapter 7 and here we move to the second

part of the book.

He's dealt with four problems and outcomes.

Answers to the questions he received.

We don't have the questions, but We have his answers now concerning the matters about what you wrote.

It's good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.

But because of the temptation to sexual immorality each man should have his own wife in each woman

her own husband.

The wife should give to his wife her conjugal rights and likewise the wife to her husband.

For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does.

Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.

Do not deprive one another.

Except perhaps by agreement for a limited time that you may devote yourselves to prayer.

But then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self -control.

Now as a concession not a command I say this.

Watch about with me and we'll pray before we start father in heaven.

Thank you this morning that you have given us your word and your spirit to help us understand.

Father I would pray that you'd help everyone here this morning glorify God in their bodies.

That they would give you honor and glory as singles.

Chaste and pure we're thankful that for the singles who have committed sexual sins that your gospel

your forgiveness Christ Jesus is a great Savior that all those can be cleansed and you would see those

sexual sinners in the perfect robes of Christ's righteousness.

Father for the married people today I pray that you'd strengthen marriages that you would help marriages to more

reflect how much Christ loves this church and how she Responds in a wonderful submission

to him and father when there's been sin in a marriage how wonderful you are to

Forgive and to clean and to cleanse and to purify Jesus Christ death was enough

for our salvation and father by faith.

We do believe that for those that are older or younger or doesn't apply to.

Specifically I pray that you did encourage them today as they sit underneath your word in Jesus name.

Amen.

All right, I just said it a moment ago.

But Paul has two sections of 1st Corinthians besides intros and conclusions first section four problems.

He addresses those four problems unity sexual sin Church discipline lack thereof, etc.

Now we move to the question and answer session beginning in chapter 7.

So if you ever had to outline 1st Corinthians intro for problems now questions that they have

asked chapter 5 verse 9 Matter of fact you can go back there.

We can tell there's a letter I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people.

So the Church of Corinth had Paul as a pastor 18 months as the apostle preacher and Paul

taught them everything he knew.

At Ephesus he could teach all the Old Testament in three years.

And so now he must have condensed all that into 18 months and they knew Paul moves away and now the

Corinthians have questions and so they send him a letter and they say we've got some issues going on.

Can you help us?

And so Paul writes back and we have this inspired word.

We don't know exactly what his questions are, but we know what his answers are so we can make a pretty good Deduction and in this

section from chapter 7 through 16.

He'll deal with Sex in marriage celibacy meat offered to idle spiritual gifts speaking in tongues head

coverings, etc.

And so for today, we're going to stick with chapter 7 verses 1 through 6 now.

Interesting dynamics are happening here.

Early on in chapter 6 there were people in the church.

Who would say things like you know doesn't matter what we do with our bodies.

We can go to these prostitutes and we can have many wives and we can have Slaves and we can have other

issues going on.

I don't have to be faithful to my wife because you know what this body is.

Doesn't really matter what we're going to do.

The spirit is really the important thing and they would latch on to a slogan like all things are lawful including sexual sin.

And so The liberty we have in Christ is never a liberty to sin, but they ran too far this

way.

If Bible truth is six o 'clock on a clock.

What do we do as simple people even redeem people we either overdo things?

Are we what we under do them so they say you know what let's we're not really under some law anymore.

Let's just sin as much as we want sexually and Paul deals with that in chapter 6.

But then something else was going on people over did it this way you live in a sex

crazed sexual sinning culture.

And it's just you don't have to look very far on your internet or on TV or just walk around a city someday to think

this is a perverted culture and Some of the Christians who lived in the perverted culture and

who were perverted then became Opposite in if this is biblical truth.

We're gonna overdo it the other way.

We would love we'd like to be monks.

We're married now, but we used to be so Promiscuous before even in marriage, let's just not even

concern ourself with that anymore.

By the way, they lived in a culture where and I just was there several months ago.

Down the way just a few hours is Delphi and all of a sudden if you're a virgin.

You've got extra power if you're celibate you've got extra power.

Celibacy somehow is good.

Paul writes to them.

I Think it's perfect for us because what do you do if you live in a sex?

Saturated culture.

What Paul tells us?

By the way, I think what also could be happening here is Paul must have been married his wife dies.

And now he's celibate and people are saying Paul celibate.

So maybe we should be but they were saying maybe we should be while they were married.

So Paul addresses it.

So with these great trans chronological truths, we will see how Paul deals with

sexual relationships in a marriage.

I've said before that God made us as sexual creatures.

God has given us hormones.

God has designed sex.

It's not wrong.

It's just only right in the context of marriage and the Christian sex ethic is not know the Christian sex ethic

is yes regularly in marriage.

No outside of marriage.

This is going to be a very interesting study because listen to a church father Augustine what he said and you'll get

an idea what the Church of Corinth is thinking even though Augustine was several hundred years later.

That he thought it was a venial sin.

To have sex with your spouse if you would have sex for pleasure and not procreation.

The pagans thought this way all the time sex is for Having children, but

the pleasure side and the intimacy side and the relationship side.

No.

Now marriage is about a lot of things pleasure procreation great picture of Christ loving the church.

Companionship there are a lot of different things that a marriage will show.

But here there was this idea that do you know what if you have children with their spouse, that'd be

an okay time but if you want to have fun you want to have a Time with your

wife.

It's for time for pleasure sexually.

Then you go find yourself a concubine.

And you can even think about it.

Why didn't Solomon have?

700 wives and 300 as I say to the kids all the time porcupines.

Concubines with this kind of sermon.

We need a little exhale for comic relief.

They had wives for children.

They had concubines for pleasure and Paul's going to say here.

Listen, of course a marriage is to show Christ loving the church.

Of course, it's for companionship.

Of course, it's so you have a helper.

Of course, it's for procreation, but none of that is being dealt with here.

It's all about the pleasure of a man and a woman.

Underneath the auspices of a great God who created this for good actually, how do you

glorify God in your body?

What's 620 say 620 says you're bought with a price.

So glorify God in your body.

Isn't it interesting that it's tied to chapter 7 verse 1 to 6.

How do you glorify God in your body 612 to 820 don't have sex before marriage?

How do you glorify God in your body while you're married have sex while you're married?

That sounds kind of funny to you.

How do you glorify God with their body sexually by having regular and often relationships?

Intimately with your spouse.

That's good information for us to know so we can think biblically about this.

Now they had a slogan in verse 1

ESB rightly puts it in parentheses so we can think that it's probably a Quote from the letter

that they wrote to Paul a summary of the letter.

The just the gist of the letter it is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.

Yes, these great in many regards, but really NAS has got it right here.

It's good for a man not to touch a woman.

It's the same difference.

The touch is a sexual touch.

It's a euphemism for sexual intimacy and so somehow when Paul

taught them and then Wrote them and discussed it with them.

They've got it that you know what?

It's not good to touch a woman.

It's not good to have sex and They went off the deep end aesthetically.

But he's not saying it's never good to have sex because in verses 2 3 4 5

he's encouraging couples to get together.

So this is some phrase that they took out of Paul.

They took it out of context or they got it wrapped up in their mind because of the culture and they just said, you know It's not good to touch a

woman both in Hebrew and in Greek to touch a woman is to have intimate relations.

You get this with Abimelech and Sarah just listen to Genesis 20 don't turn there then God said to him in the dream Yes, I

know that in the integrity of your heart you have done this and I also kept you from sinning against me.

Therefore I did not let you Touch her.

Abimelech was not able to touch Sarah this way because God prohibited it.

Proverbs 6 29 so is the one who goes in to his neighbor's wife.

Whoever touches her will not go unpunished.

Paul cannot be saying Celibacy is the norm if you're married now be celibate

because he's just going to go on in verses 2 through 5 to say no.

You should regularly and often be together.

Let me give you from the text in verses 2 through 6 3 exhortations for married

people today in regards to Sex in your marriage so that you might

glorify God honoring God with your bodies.

If you're married.

And of course it goes without saying if there's an ailment or there's an illness or husbands and wives are not able to physically.

That's not going to be a sin.

But you're gonna find out very quickly that if you're married and you're able.

It's going to be a sin for you not to be together on a regular basis.

Why.

Because God has designed marriage for many things.

But the context here is the way to avoid sexual temptation is to be regularly

with your spouse.

He's going to say there's going to be no desire of the man or the woman to go outside the marriage Relationship and to flirt and to commit

adultery and to do anything else if there's a regular sexual component to the marriage.

So exhortation number one if you're married on how to glorify God with your body.

I've just already said it, but I'll say it again now to make implicit explicit one if you're married you are to have

regular Sexual relations, and it's going to be strange because this is

commanded verse 2, but because of the temptation of

sexual immorality.

Or as the NES says better immoralities.

It's plural each man should have his own wife and let each woman her.

Let each woman her own husband now already with this touch

have Conjugal rights, can you see that the Bible's speaking properly?

Appropriately this isn't some kind of anatomy lesson or some kind of graphic thing or inappropriate.

Just nice couch language with euphemism so everybody who's old enough can understand and those who are younger.

They don't know Paul says because of

Here's a here would be a theological description because God has designed you To have sex if

you're married because if you're not designed to have sex in your celibate.

Then you should have got married if you have a desire from for sex.

God has said this is the realm.

This is the arena.

This is the hedged in area where it's safe.

It's good it's holy it's pure it's right and Have have regular relations

and so it helps.

For those who are tempted in other areas to have a regular relationship with their spouse

God has designed marriage that sex and marriage go together.

Singleness and abstinence go together sex and marriage go together.

Marriage and and abstinence do not go together.

Love and marriage love and marriage joined together by a whoresome carriage, right?

I'm not gonna sing that song.

But marriage and sex go together as well.

It's good we have to laugh once in a while because it's a tense subject.

By the way, my goal is to honor God by preaching this so you'll have a good marriage.

Am I also another goal that I have is just that I don't say anything untoward.

Because you need the message and I don't want to say something inappropriately.

So then you hang everything on he shouldn't have said that be praying for me because this is gonna be good

for marriages.

It's gonna be good for the congregation.

Paul says Sexual fulfillment is good in a marriage.

Do you notice the language here each man his own wife each woman her own husband.

Polygamy out polyandry

concubines out.

Each man each woman and we're gonna get into this a little bit more.

There's no language of the woman's a slave the woman's a thing the woman's an object.

They were thinking this way back in these days in Corinth and some Jewish thought coming into that you pretty much owned your wife.

She had to do what you had told her to do and she was second -class citizen.

We're gonna see in this passage you want to see the first equal rights movement, it's by Paul.

Because Jesus believed in equal rights as well, and there are equal rights even may I say it in the bedroom?

The ESV says temptation is sexual immorality.

NES is right because the original is sexual immoralities.

Just think of all the stuff going on and the prostitutes would descend from the hill of Worship and

all these other things going around.

It was just a sex sick society.

And he says because of these temptations because of the temptation to sexually sin each man should have

His own wife and what that have is is exactly what?

Touch is to have means is to have sexual intimacy.

It doesn't mean to have like I own a pencil and I own a protractor.

This is the wife has the husband the husband has the wife.

There's a mutual symmetry here.

That's just wonderful the husband can't say

by the way like the Jews allowed him to say I'm going to have a special time of prayer, and I'm gonna

specially get to that lofty spiritually sublime goal that can only happen while I'm abstaining from the

marriage bed.

And I'm gonna go off on a retreat for a while and sorry

Paul won't allow that.

Paul won't allow a marriage even today your marriage to say you know what we kind of move past that.

We have our kids, and they're out of the house, and you know we got married and that's for the honeymoon.

But now you know we're past that we don't need that anymore.

I don't want to be rude.

But you should have thought about that before you were married because on the marriage day that you were married you said I

do.

To a lot of things including commitment to your spouse.

Sexually should have how about this it's an imperative.

It's a command.

All sex before marriage, it's always a sin all sex inside marriage.

It's a delight to you to your spouse to God.

It's something that honors God, and it's a command.

Can you imagine it's a command and so therefore if you're here today and husband and wife are no longer together.

And you're able to it is a sin.

And you need to back up to rehearse the gospel well.

He doesn't deserve it.

She doesn't deserve it.

He does this she does that may I just remind you let's just go back to step one rehearse the gospel.

What do you all what do I deserve?

How do you help your spouse?

How do you deal with sexual temptations.

Paul says it's in the marriage bed?

The mutuality of conjugal rights.

Basically Paul is saying in this context there are other passages that talk about sex other ways, but in this

passage Paul is saying this.

Married people should have sex regularly and often enough that there's no frustration or

temptation to go outside the marriage number two.

How do we glorify God with our bodies if we're married step two?

If you're married you have an obligation to your spouse to have sexual relations the first ones.

It's it's a command.

Regularly here.

It's the obligation so it's different terminology.

It's basically everything here says the same thing.

I'm just trying to divide it up a little bit according to the passage verse 3.

Look at the mutuality look at this equal rights.

This is not woman.

You know me Tarzan you Jane kind of language.

This is she's an image bearer.

You're an image bearer.

The husband should give to his wife for conjugal rights.

Doesn't use sex as a weapon sex as a punishment.

No, I'm not going to because you did this that or the other and likewise the wife to her husband.

Paul says it is a sin to sexually deprive your spouse.

It's a sin if you say yes, but I

Associate sex with our old lives when we were pagans and gross and filthy.

God says in marriage though.

It's still holy and right.

Say well yes, but no my spouse isn't a Christian.

And and I how can I do that with a Christian and not a Christian and they're they're not they're not saved.

Paul says it's holy good and right.

There's no comment here.

Oh if your spouse isn't saved you can say no.

If you're saved you answer to God and say I have to honor him and if God says this is what I

should do for his glory and For what's good of my husband or my wife.

I will do.

How about this for a thought?

Celibacy in marriage even in Corinth was sinful.

Anya says duty take a look at the text.

Yes.

He says conjugal rights again.

It's another euphemism.

So we've got touch have and duty.

It's your duty.

It's a present imperative.

How about that?

What's a present imperative?

It's an ongoing command.

Regular habitual often what does this do to your mind when someone says

you know what?

People should go to some convent someplace.

What does this do to your medieval theology that says you know what?

Sexual intimacy for children, but everything else no.

You say now who says that Josephus the law recognizes no sexual Connections except

the natural union of a man and a wife and that only for procreation of children.

The reason is He's a bum or she's not attractive or

you know sex is for children only.

Paul says no, that's not right.

God says it's not right.

How about Philo?

He said about people who had sex for pleasure in marriage that they're not people they

were like animals.

I'll just throw the quote out just so you can get the intensity of it.

They're like pigs and goats.

Demeaning what God has given the meaning something pure and holy and good and right.

That's not the way we're to think about it.

If you're married today and you're in Bethlehem Bible Church.

Saved or unsaved saved or unsafe spouse.

It is your duty to pay what you owe to your spouse.

Now you say Mike, where's all the romance?

Well, that's song of Solomon and maybe we'll give some romance tips here.

I don't know if I'm an expert in romance, but we'll see what we can do.

Let me just work through the passage first.

It's my duty.

To preach this passage to pay what is due and Don't you notice here talk about

agape love the focus is all here on what?

Giving receiving it's not that you don't receive in the marriage bed.

But the focus here of Paul is to give to give to give.

Doesn't that sound like loving God?

Loving your neighbor agape love to give to give to give then that sound like that.

I think that is wonderful.

Paul says marriage without sex is a unnatural and be sinful,

of course.

Marriage is a partnership.

Of course.

It's a picture of Christ.

Of course.

It's for procreation.

But Paul is dealing here with pleasure.

John Crisostom said Virginity stands as far above marriage as the heavens stand above the earth.

Well when you're single, that's true Jerome all those who have not remained virgins

following the pattern of pure chastity of angels and that of our Lord himself are polluted.

Augustine he said you should be continent like angels.

But at least marriage intimacy isn't as bad as adultery.

Paul doesn't do any of that.

He says it's good.

It's right.

Fulfilling it should be pleasurable.

It's the goodness of God.

Can you imagine?

Can you imagine saying when you walk outside you feel the Sun on your face and you think God this is an awesome day.

I love this day.

You're a great God.

Sun and the moon and the stars.

I have a new app on my iPhone and I can just hold it up to the stars and wherever I am.

Even if I hold it down to the ground.

It's as if it could see through the earth.

It can't but it just knows it shows me that all the constellations and I just look at him.

I go.

You're awesome.

You're great.

You're wonderful.

Romans 1 is when you see the greatness of God responses.

Thanks honor worship and Then to think you know God that you could so design a man and a

woman that in marriage this act could happen.

I'll be the most uniting.

Mysterious intimate thing that could happen that is almost a precursor to how great heaven will be

is if you think that is intimate and that a sexual bed is Wonderful, then the greatest intimacy

is way better than you could ever imagine on earth.

This is just a foretaste of divine intimacy.

Of course, I'm not talking about intimacy sexually in heaven.

What I'm talking about is the great relationship you'll have when you see Christ Jesus face to face

no longer with faith, but by sight.

It's the goodness of God one flesh Paul said, you

know God gave hormones to people for a reason and sexual bodies and

that was so they can have sex.

Only in marriage and so if that's God's design, why would you say regularly and often no to your

spouse?

Literally the text here in verse 3 is you are under Contractual obligation to

be with your spouse regularly and often.

Now, of course the single people who are sitting here today who would long to get married and by the way, it's perfectly, right?

I'm jumping ahead of myself into two weeks.

But I'll say it's perfectly right to want to get married and it's perfectly right to want to have sexual relations.

As long as it doesn't go too far in your mind when you start thinking about things that you ought not to.

But it's good and right because God has given us that desire

here with wonderful as one commentator said reciprocity

husband wife wife husband.

Further explained look at verse 4 for the wife does not have authority over her own body.

I can sure make an application out of this for those who want to kill the babies inside of them because it's

their body, but that's another sermon, but the husband does and

Shockingly Wonderfully Uniquely.

God loves men and God loves women and in his sight they are equal.

Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body.

Who comes up with that not the pagans and not the Jewish philosophers but the wife does.

Rights over your spouse's body for conjugal pleasure.

Giving up the rights to your own body for the other one.

This isn't holding out.

This is saying no.

These are the hoops you have to jump through no submitting one at one to another in a wonderful way.

If you're married your body belongs to your spouse.

I don't commentator said it communicates negatively his obligation to refrain from engaging in sexual

relations with anyone other than his wife because the wife owns his body and

Positively his obligation to fulfill his marital duty to provide her the wife with sexual pleasure

and satisfaction.

Number three number three the third Way to glorify God with your bodies

if you are married your third reason to think through to help you to do this regularly is Paul says if

you're married verse 5 you must not defraud or rob your spouse.

Sexually, let's take a look at the verse.

This is amazing verse 5 do not deprive one another.

There's another word for sexual deprivation.

Except perhaps by agreement for a limited time that you may devote yourself to prayer and then come together again.

So that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self -control.

That we're deprived you know what that means it means to steal.

So your husband owns your body, but you say no the Bible says that's stealing and likewise

the other hand as well.

We hear the word cheating all the time.

The language here is don't cheat your spouse.

We think of cheating as the spouse cheats with another person against you.

Paul is thinking cheating is you ought to be regular with your spouse, but you say no that's cheating to Paul

of course.

He thinks adultery is wrong, but the context here present tense do not deprive never

deprive.

Stop depriving.

If you are depriving stop right now

say yeah, but you don't know the past of my spouse.

You don't know this you don't know that just imagine the past of the spouses there in first Corinthians.

Don't abandon these relations.

You know what it's like you ever met somebody.

They say you know can I borrow 20 bucks?

I borrow $100.

Can I borrow?

$20 ,000 and then they never pay you back.

What do you think about those kind of people?

I would just think they should have just said could I have $20 because then I wouldn't be thinking of my mind borrow.

As I say you know you know would you like to have 20, then it's just free and clear you can have the $20.

This language here is Reneging on a debt.

I have a debt to you.

I will not pay.

I don't know how you think of people who back out of what they owe people but Paul says no.

But he gives up an exception here.

Three steps to the exception all three have to be true.

What's it?

What's the exception except perhaps by agreement?

What does it mean to agree?

Wife says yes, I'd like to just pray for a while, and we just not come together.

But the husband says sorry honey.

I can't do that.

What does Paul say then?

Paul says it's not agreement so deals off or vice versa.

What's the second step to this for a limited time?

You can't say to yourself.

Well.

You know that was that kind of worked out well.

Short -term abstinence in the in the marriage bed is pretty good.

Maybe long term would be better.

No just for a limited time and then with the purpose to pray.

To pray it's a temporary time, and then it's

time to pray, but then something Must happen look at the

text, but then come together again another way that Paul Just says this in a nice way in an appropriate way.

Sexually coming together again why so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self -control.

There's a protective shield to the marriage bed.

People say you know what.

Yeah, but how can I sleep with my spouse because our marriage is horrible?

Well, there's only one thing worse than a horrible horrible marriage.

And that is one are both of the spouses say you know what we think horribles.

Not too bad because we'd like to just open the door and let Satan come barging right in

Satan.

Paul knows and you should know too is powerful, so

Paul says Don't Stay apart for a long time.

Come back together again.

Don't cheat your spouse.

The norm is Christians will marry.

The ones that aren't gifted with singleness and as a Christian couple humble humble and wife.

Husband and wife sometimes I need a little comic relief, too.

You know what I want to say is Husbands and wives.

Well, I'm all say that in a second first Corinthians 7 teaches that

Healthy sex life is a preventative for immorality.

And that husbands and wives should eagerly engage in sexual relations as a duty both to

their spouse.

Now what about this not having relations for a while and praying

about verse 6 now as a concession.

Not as a command.

Verse 5 I say this what does this refer to.

This refers back to what Paul wrote in verse 5?

Maybe all 1 through 5.

You don't have to so you know what look back in our last 23 years of marriage.

You know let's say we haven't had a time.

You say to yourself where we've had the special prayer time then maybe we should start.

Paul says you can if you want.

But it's not a command.

It's a concession.

Very pastoral.

Don't you think Paul doesn't talk like this earlier in chapter 1 to 4 about a lack of unity.

He's very compassionate very pastoral.

I have a few things.

I wrote down here.

That maybe will be good points of application.

I'm really not trying to.

I'm not trying to make a joke of this.

I'm not trying to be emergent.

I'm not trying to say you know.

Some things that are inappropriate.

I don't want to do that.

I don't need to do that.

I don't like it when people do that.

I like to do shows against that a no -compromise radio.

But I think it's also good to be a pastor and to try to do what Paul does and that's be very pastoral husbands.

Let me just give you some advice.

And of course if you think I live up to everything I preach I know one who does live up to everything I preach.

And that's why I stand in the good stead of Christ Jesus.

But these things are true.

This is some advice.

I'd like to give you number one husbands buy a lock for your bedroom door.

I kid you not buy a lock for your bedroom door.

I don't think I have to tell you why especially if you have kids.

If you don't have kids you don't need the lock right one.

Buy a lock for the bedroom door to Care enough to look attractive or if you want to joke out of it attractive as you can

look.

I am starting to sweat.

If you

don't like this topic resurrection Sunday next week.

Singles married and don't get so you don't burn the next week divorce and remarriage the week after that.

Three study your wife and know what she likes and what she doesn't like.

That's first Peter chapter 3 4 make it easy for

her to say yes by being thoughtful loving and helpful.

Here's a big one of mine, and I'm gonna have to be careful not to launch on this too much if you'd like to be more

Regular in your intimacy with your spouse.

By the way the way to not do this is I got a verse from God for you.

And use these verses in first Corinthians 7 1 to 5 as a club.

It is true that it's sin, and it is true that I with no joking at all I hope there are many couples this

week.

Would by the grace of God live out these commands.

It'd be good for you.

Be good for your marriage.

It'd be good.

If you haven't had relations with your spouse for 10 years for 20 years to say.

These are the reasons why I did it.

They're all sinful.

They're all wrong.

Do you think you have it in your heart to forgive me?

That's what people should be saying.

Dads especially.

Why don't you lead your children into obedience?

Because disobedient kids are bad for the love life.

You can't get your kids to obey.

By the way, there's no sin and letting your kids sleep in your bed.

I don't think it's sinful.

I just think it's really stupid.

Now the kid gets in the middle of night, and he says you know I'm sick and coughing.

And you let the kids sleep because they're sick.

Okay, but regularly I know people they say I let my kids sleep in our bed every single night.

I don't know what you're thinking because it's hard to obey first Corinthians chapter 7 1 to 5 when you've got a four -year -old kid.

Laying in between you yeah, but if they go to the other room.

They'll just cry well dads lead.

I Guarantee you you're 15 times bigger.

And you go there, and you say you know what if you don't if you get out of that bed again unless there's blood.

You're gonna get a spanking.

And you know you think you know my wife never wants to get together with me because you're a bad dad.

And you won't obey the kids and now she never thinks I'm a wife.

She thinks I'm a mom and my husband won't lead so I better too and so while I'm in the mom mode.

It's hard to be romantic wife mode.

I did not say it's a sin to let your kids sleep in your bed.

So don't quote me that I did.

I just said it was stupid okay next I

Didn't say it was a verse either.

This is my opinion.

I think you should date your wife.

That would be another one.

I have listened here.

I think you should scrimp and save if you're a husband to take your wife on a romantic holiday.

I Wouldn't have cared if I would have spent $30 ,000 on our trip to Rome several

years ago for anniversary because it was worth every single penny just to get away from the kids.

Just to say you know if you ever go out of town on a weekend with your wife.

And the first two days the only thing you talk about is your kids.

And then by the time it's talk about each other then it's time to go home.

Start romance early in the morning being kind.

Thoughtful,

I'm just kind of editing.

You know what it's super hard.

You should pray for me.

My wife is sitting right there.

How would you like to stand up and talk about this with your wife right there?

She knows all the areas where I fail and if I succeed in any areas, it's the grace of God.

Let's see let me say a few things.

To everyone by the way.

Whatever the level is of sexual desire in the person the spouse who has the most sexual desire that is the

barometer for the marriage.

You don't say well one.

One would desire many times the other not very often.

Let's split the middle the way it works with the one and others and each is.

Paul says whoever's got the highest barometer.

Then that sets the tone why because the idea here is again pleasure.

Yes.

Partnership yes picture of Christ living in church.

Yes, but to stop people who Are going to struggle with sexual sin

ladies.

Let me just say a few things to you.

Number one, I don't know if these are notes or not.

Number one.

I don't really know ladies if you realize how visual men are

they have to go to work and they have to deal with all these issues and

This is not the only reason for marriage.

Sex isn't the only reason for marriage.

But it is to protect the spouse and I think you should say to yourself.

My husband really struggles with his eyes.

If anybody here who would like to get married or is married doesn't struggle with their eyes as Danny Aikman say you're

a liar.

You are a liar because men struggle with their eyes and so what does God say?

There's one person that you don't have to struggle with anymore.

That you get to look at your spouse.

You get to look at your wife.

You get to look at her legs to the bottom of feet to the top of her toes.

And you just get to look and stare and enjoy.

By the way, you think I'm making something up.

I don't think I'm gonna get to it today, but that's Proverbs 5.

This is a made -up kind of you know.

Stuff here so protect your husband.

By being with him regularly in the bedroom.

I think what's good for the goose is good for the gander.

Look as look as good as you can.

I Won't joke about that.

Care enough to look attractive if you're able.

I'm not gonna say that.

The visitors today are going all right.

Ladies your attitude should be for the glory of God.

It will be a joy for me to satisfy my husband in this area.

That's what he's saying.

That's what Paul is saying to give sacrificially to give lovingly.

I mean, I just can't think what would it be like to have a bad marriage, but then say but I'm gonna let Satan into this.

The Bible says the way you quench your sexual thirst is at home.

I think I'm gonna have to break this into two weeks.

We can talk more about romance and other things.

Let me read the passage again.

And then we'll close now concerning the matters about what you wrote.

It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with the woman.

But because of the temptation of sexual immorality each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.

The husband should give to his wife for conjugal rights and likewise the wife to her husband.

The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does.

Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body.

But the wife does do not deprive one another except perhaps by agreement for a limited time that you may devote

yourselves to prayer.

But then come together again so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self -control.

Now as a concession not a command.

I say this father.

We do.

Thank you this day.

For your wonderful word for your wonderful son.

And for how you've made us given the opportunity for wonderful intimacy in marriage and

To think all of us here fall so short of our standard.

Yet Jesus Christ our Savior bore all of our sins.

And like the song says there is no work that I must add to stand before his throne.

I only plead his life and death sufficient on their own Father.

I pray this week that you would transform marriages at Bethlehem Bible Church.

That you would grant spouses humility repentance love

romance and an obedient heart to these scriptures.

Father that you would strengthen marriages through this the people would see in our neighborhoods.

Oh how Christ loved the church.

How the church comes underneath the loving arms of her Savior.

Jesus name we pray.