A WOW Moment with Vicki, Mercedes and Carrie

What's that white thing? I don't know. It's your phone. It's just a button for your phone. Oh. Oh, it says live. That's how you know. Gotcha.

I'll just wait for people to like. We give them a few minutes because you know when your phone goes ding. Do you have that set up? Mine just went off, yeah. Yeah, so in a few minutes.

So a new thing I've noticed is little profile pictures will pop up in the top right hand corner to show you who's watching. Oh.

Yeah. We're late. Oh, somebody's here. Is that you, Jordan? No.

It's not. I can get on there. You don't have to.

Yeah. They'll start getting on here. We're running late. I was yapping. Mm-hmm. Now you can tell me stories. They were the truth, Carrie. Why? Well, truthful stories. They were fairy tales. Of course, I don't know.

They were about slides. No, those are always going to be truthful. Right. I lived in a fairytale world with that for a long time. Finally, truth came. All right, we're going to get started because we're running late.

I'm sure people will start popping on as soon as they realize their phone's going off. Welcome to our Bible study tonight. Everyone, I'm Vicki. Everyone remembers Mercedes. Oh, you're on your phone. No.

Now you sound like me when Miranda called that night. Is that a two-page text?

That's not important. Jordan's one was, can you go to the store and get me this and this? Oh. I was like, that was like a mom-to-mom moment. That would be important. This isn't important.

That's what I was thinking. I was panicking for her. I was like, does he have a red? I was like,.

Okay. No, I just need cheese, bread. No reds.

Welcome to tonight's Bible study. We are starting late because I was too busy telling a truthful story. Not a fairytale. Not a fairytale. I'm Vicki. Everybody knows Mercedes. She's off her phone now. Tonight, we are very blessed to have the wonderful, beautiful, and the most talented Miss Carrie Stanley.

To be honest with you, Carrie, I never thought we would get you on here. Really? Okay.

I mean, it's not that I didn't want to be here. You know, I don't know.

I've asked so many yes, and women on staff, and everybody's like, no, I don't want to. But yours has always been, you've had something going on or something was, you know.

So, but. Well, on Thursdays, it's usually a long day for you anyway, right?

Yes. That's my longest day here. Actually. I didn't actually leave here today until.

Almost 4 .30. So. That's when I get off work, right?

Yeah. Don't you get off.

Usually at 12? No, not anymore. Do they change the time? About 8 to 4 .30.

And then I have to drive from downtown, which is wonderful. Amazing. I wonder if the people watching wonder who the the disembodied voice is. The voice on the side?

They ought to know it by now because Jordan's on Saturdays. So they ought to know her voice. They will see her face. She's going to be one of our guests in a couple weeks, so they will finally get to see Jordan.

But just wait. She's coming. But anyway, so tonight we have the wonderful and beautiful Miss Carrie Stanley. Like I said, she is the senior pastor's assistant. She's actually the senior assistant to the pastor.

There you go. Carrie's also been coming and being a member of this church for 13 years. And I have to tell you, Carrie, I want to apologize because we were supposed to have had lunch way before Easter Sunday because we went and had lunch months ago.

Right. And then we were both like, we've got to do that again. And then we text each other and it's like, we need to have lunch. Yeah, we do need to have lunch again.

Actually, I promise. We'll do it. You're busy. I'm busy. Maybe we ought to just do dinner and get David's garden ball. They can talk about the car. Not the fairy tale cars.

The real cars. I didn't tell a fairy tale. I'm telling myself I told a fairy tale. Anyways, we've asked Carrie to either give us a verse or verses that she would like to study or her go-to verse. So Carrie, what verse or verses have you chosen for tonight?

I chose John 14 1 and then also chose John 16 33. Alright. Mercedes,.

Will you read the scripture please?

Do you want me to read both of them or one of them? Do you want to do both or do you want to do one and dismiss it? Let's do one at a time. John 14 1. Your heart must not be troubled.

Believe in God. Believe also in me. Well, that's just straight to the point. It's hard to do though. It is.

I know for me, I know recently I've been struggling. Well, we all struggle with discouragement but for me, it's been very recent over the past several years actually on and off. And for me, this one was my go-to because when I read it, it's literally like a command for me because he says, we must not be troubled.

And when I get discouraged, I mean, the biggest thing that I do when I'm discouraged is I literally lose sight of my focus. I lose, you know, literally I allow my faith to be choked out because if you're having discouragement, then you're literally replacing your faith almost or you're not seeing faith.

You're not trusting. You're not believing. And so that was why this was my go-to. It says must not and he literally says that that's a command. And for me, when he's commanding it, I need to sit up and I need to listen.

I need to take a different direction. I need to stop literally wallowing in the discouragement and I need to change my actions because if I'm not, if I'm discouraged, that means I'm not trusting in him.

My faith is weakening. But who doesn't? Oh, agreed. Definitely. Who doesn't wallow? Yeah, that's true. And I just have to remember that I think for me when I start to wallow, I just don't need to, I need to make sure I don't stay there.

I think it's when.

We don't fight.

Hard enough to get ourselves out of the pit. So, it's really funny because when I'm discouraged, I forget about his promises. I'm so focused on what I'm discouraged about that I'm missing what he's trying to tell me.

So, it's funny. You don't be discouraged by what you see. Be encouraged by his promises. So, that was something that I loved the most about this verse and what it was telling me. Because I'm really, when you're discouraged, you're focusing on what you're seeing.

You're not focusing on what your faith is telling you or what you should be doing. So, and that can be really, especially when it's something in your life that's, you know, whether it's your family or someone in your family that you're discouraged by, whether it's someone you love, because it's usually someone you love that causes the most discouragement to for you.

Yes.

Yes. And the most pain. Yes. Exactly. And you want to choke them out. Right.

That's true. So, you don't want the discouragement to cause you to sin either, which would be, you know, be angry or just completely allow it, like I said, to choke out your faith and then you become more focused on what you're discouraged by or what you're seeing than what you're actually trying to show you.

So, that was where I went to with that verse. But when it's somebody that, okay, let me ask you this, when it's somebody that you love, like you said, because that's what's most hurtful, what do you do?

Do you pray for them to help? I mean, do you, because undoubtedly it's something in their actions, something they've said, something they've done, something that, you see what I'm saying?

And it's not necessarily just what somebody's done to. You can also be, you know, just because it could be their choices or it could also be like, you know, death, you're discouraged by someone who's died or you're discouraged by illness.

You know, somebody you love could be sick or whatever, but if it's about someone who's hurt you, you have to look past the hurt and decide, you know, if I get discouraged by the pain that they're causing me, maybe I need to look past that pain and I need to, I have to remember that I need to apply truth or wisdom to that and maybe I need to be an example for them.

Maybe they don't know any better so I have to be that example and if I just get so focused on my discouragement that I don't apply wisdom to the situation or to the people that are hurting me or whatever then you're not being a good example.

Correct. Yep. I just got through telling a young lady the other day that because she's discouraged about a lot of stuff going on in her life and I told her, I said, what you have to do is you have to sit back and you really have to ask God.

You have to pray and say, Lord, what is it that you're trying to show me or teach me?

Because it could be not just them turning that person and trying to.

Show you something. Exactly. Right. Exactly. And I have I have learned so many lessons because he was actually trying to show me what I needed to do or what I was doing that to me and that's a whammy because then you're going, wait a minute.

They're the ones that are doing this. They're the ones doing something wrong. Why do I have to? Right.

Right. Exactly. Yep. Okay. Very good point. Deuteronomy 31 .8 says the same thing tells us the same thing. It says, Lord, there's a one who will go before you. He will be with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.

Do not be afraid or discouraged.

31 .8. Is that what you said?

That is good though. That is very good.

And John 14 .27 says, peace I.

Leave with you. My peace I give to you.

I do not give to you as the world gives. Your heart must not be troubled or fearful. Yes.

It was funny because in 14 .1 that was Jesus talking to the disciples before he was before he was going to be crucified and he was telling them, he was basically he knew ahead of time that they were going to fear that they were going to be discouraged once he was gone and so he was letting them know and commanding them to you know, to trust and to not fear.

Which is what Moses was saying to the Israelites on his parting of parting too. It's hard to get discouraged when there's so much against what you're doing or so much you can be in the middle of the worst moment of your life you would think and the worst thing you can do.

Is get.

So discouraged that you lose.

Focus on him. I've been there and it sucks. Yes it does. It sucks finding your way back.

I haven't been there. Yep. It's like turning around and wanting to find the recent pieces to find your way back. You know? Did somebody leave a trail for me to go back? It's not that easy. Wasn't that in E .T.?

Yes it was.

Thank you. Thank you. I'm sitting with somebody that gets me. I watched that movie as a kid and it made me cry. E .T.

Peace in Christ Amid Trouble and Discouragement

All right. Mercedes, let's move on to John 16 32.

I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. You will have suffering in this world. Be courageous. I have conquered the world.

So usually when I realize that I need to go discouraged I go to this verse and realize that if you just rely on me if you continue to turn to me that you will have peace. That you're going to have troubles.

You're going to have like he says, you're going to have things that happen but be courageous. Discouragement is the lack of courage. It is a lack of courage and he says in so many verses be courageous.

Be without fear. And I know without fear we can't have courage but he always says to have courage. So whenever I'm discouraged this is one that I always go through as well. And I've struggled with it quite a bit here recently so just some certain things that have happened are causing it but I have to remember to continue to rely on him and to still be the example for the others that may not.

Because if they see me so discouraged that can lead them away as well. Oh well if she has God or she you know is trusting in Jesus then she's all this if she's so discouraged apparently why do I need to do it then?

Why do I need to have that? It's not that great then. It's not helping her. So I need to make sure that I am remaining you know a good example in doing what he says for me to do which is to be courageous.

And oh my gosh that is so hard. It is. Especially when you're in control. You're kind of a control. I have some issues with control.

No I was a huge control freak. Yes. Huge. And that's when everything in my life changed is when. And that was one of the things that he kept pounding on me that I wasn't seeing. That I'm not in control.

And he kept saying Vicki it's not your world it's mine.

Because no matter what he's going to get his way. I'm not in control of this. No matter how hard you try. Right. I'm still going to do what I need to do. Just go with it or you can fight. His promises are still going to be fulfilled.

And his purposes are still going to be fulfilled. There's nothing you can do to change that.

And he will drag you through the muck until you finally give up. And then when you give up he will cleanse you off and you'll say oh.

All I had to do was this. Right. And what's funny is it may not go the way the way you want it to but he always has, there's always a purpose for it no matter whether it doesn't go your way or if it doesn't go good or what you believe to be good.

There's always good in anything that he does. Right. Even if his purposes aren't fulfilled.

They're always good. Right. And that's like I've told I can't tell you how many young ladies I've talked to but I've told so many of them my life story and things that I've been through and things that I've lived through.

And it's like to be where I'm sitting at right now today and the person I am today you would have never thought it nine years ago. Right. You would have never, if the person that I was I'll put it to you this way, if the person I was eleven years ago was to walk into this church nobody would recognize me.

Nothing like you are now. Nothing. I think we probably were all that way at one time. I mean and actually probably a lot worse than what we are. I work with a lady that's a little bit older than me she works in a different court than I do but our offices are right beside each other and I was telling her a little bit about my history and she looked at me and she said Miss Vicki, the person that I know of you today there is no way that's the person you were.

And I'm like yes ma 'am. Those are things that I used to do. And she's like can't be. I said it's only by the grace of God that I stand before you now and I'm able to tell you that I went through all that, I lived through all that and he has changed my heart and changed my life.

Right. Because I couldn't have done it. No. No. So that's the whole thing with being discouraged. But imagine what that testimony is for her.

So you're telling her the way you used to be. She sees how you are and she can't imagine you being that person before. Imagine what that testimony that was for her. Right.

Such an example you are for her. I work with a young lady that's 30 years old and she just turned 30 and she's single and she's never been married and she's like I just don't know. I said if it's meant to be, it'll be.

And she's like really? And I looked at her and I told her some things that I've been through and she said there is no way Miss Vicki. That's what they call me. I'm like yeah.

That was me. Not anymore. Maybe there is something that is God. Maybe there is.

So I'd say that's pretty cool. I mean my own daughter Wesley, she just sometimes, she's like really mom? You're not gonna go off, you're not gonna fall off the handle, you're not gonna, you know? And I'm like no.

I'm not gonna use the energy for that. My energy is more based towards praising the God that I need to be praising and saving the energy for somebody that needs my help. There you go. Something else. Not a bunch of nonsense.

But the problem I have is when I'm in the midst of helping one of these people or talking with one of these people, this, I get discouraged so much. Mm-hmm. Because I just want to go what else do you have to do?

He has shown you and shown you and shown you.

Sometimes it's just actually like he's commanding you to do it. It's not about whether you feel it or feel like doing it. You need to just do it. It's an action. It is literally you need to just do it whether you want to.

Whether you're feeling like it or not is irrelevant.

You just gotta do it. What do they say about feelings? They really don't matter.

Do they matter? They're not good indicators of truth, that's for sure. We have a little sermon on that one though. Correct.

I'll tell you because I just need to put this on my board at work and just leave it there. If I didn't work for gentlemen, I would. They won't allow you to put anything on the board. That's what I was wondering.

I have some things framed, like little pretty things framed that's scripture but they look like little pictures. When it comes to.

Me writing something. So if you put something on a post-it note or something, they wouldn't want you to have that? This is my board.

But I could put something on my desk. This is one of those huge.

Whiteboards. I see what you're.

Saying. I don't want it plastered on there. Right. They don't want you to be influencing. No, because it's a government thing. This lady came down there the other day. She walked in her office and she said, how do y 'all work down here with no windows?

I said, well to be honest with you, I worked in a courtroom for 17 years and there are no windows in the courtrooms at 201 Poplar. I don't need a window. I don't need a window. She goes, I walked in here though and it just feels refreshing in here.

I looked at her and I said, really? Calvin, the young man that works with me, was standing over where we do all of our shadow puppets. Certification. I have a station where we do the certification. We have to seal them.

It's right over here close to my desk. He was standing over here and he was doing her certification and she was standing in front of my desk. I have this big glass thing in front of my desk. You can write stuff on there.

She said, yes, it's very refreshing in here. She said, if you don't mind me saying, it's just really peaceful. Spirit feels peaceful in here. I told her, I said, I don't mind you saying that. I said, because to be honest with you, if you don't mind me saying, we talk scripture in here all the time.

That's probably why. She said, really, girl? I said, yes, ma 'am. That's awesome. She just kept talking and I kept talking. I never bring it up first because I don't want somebody going upstairs, telling them upstairs that I'm trying to preach downstairs.

They know.

Who you are. They come to you to actually... This was just a customer. She just said this. I thought it was a coworker. She just came in to pick up her.

Calvin, the young man that I work with, Calvin, he started shaking his head. He said, we get some pretty deep discussions down here. That's awesome. Because the two young people I work with are both believers.

Thank God. I thank the Lord for them all the time. It is. It's hard to find that now. Yes.

Unless you work it. Evergreen. She brought me to church. She's the reason I ended up here.

There's always a slight chance of hope. She was really concerned about you.

Yeah, that was really what it was. I'm glad she was, too. I needed it. Every time, I would not come because I was so scared. The reason I didn't come at first was because I had never been here and I was scared to drive here and figure out the parking because you know I have anxiety.

It's so stupid. I was very nervous. I literally did not come for weeks. I don't even know how many weeks. My mom finally said she'd go with me, but every Monday she would say, why weren't you there?

When she first came, I don't think we had good lines on the parking lot. We still do.

What are you talking about? After that first time, I was alright, but it was the first time trying to get me here was... It took a couple weeks. I would get up, get dressed, be completely ready, and then I'd go, okay, never mind.

I can't do it.

We're not that bad. We're actually kind of easy to get to know. Yeah, the first time I came here,.

I was... Just how Pastor preached and it was so a normal conversation instead of feeling like I was being lectured or sitting in a college room and someone's teaching me something and it's not like...

I just felt... It felt so much more at home to be talked to like a normal person instead of being thrown these theological doctrine diploma people. Well, he'll go around to you. Oh, yeah, but it's still...

It's very... It's very personal level and that is more what I was looking for. Of course, there's people that prefer the other, but if I'm sitting in class all the time, I definitely don't want to be sitting in another lecture, but.

I was so glad I came. We don't tend to listen. Probably, you know, when it's someone who's doing like a speech or feels like a.

Speaker as opposed to someone who actually is getting on your level.

And talking to you. Exactly. I got attention problems already, so I needed someone that was gonna... It's very true. It's very true. I needed someone that was gonna keep me... To grab your attention. Yeah.

Well, at least you're not discouraged. Right. Anymore. About coming. Oh, about coming, no. I was like... She's going, uh... I was probably discouraged like 30 minutes ago, but about something, but everybody gets discouraged.

It's how you handle it is the important part.

Yeah, and what level you put it on. Yeah. Do you allow it to take up this much of your life, or do you allow it to take up this much of your life?

I'll admit that there's times that I, you know, over discourage myself, but I call you or I text Mercedes, like, I think it's all... You can, if it does get to that point where you cannot handle it anymore, it's all about then you have to take it to the next.

Person. But don't you see that, though, as someone being selfish? What? By reaching out? No, if you allow yourself and you know that you're getting that deep.

Oh, yeah. That's actually turning inward as opposed to turning, you know, towards scripture or him. Absolutely. Because then you're more focused on your feelings, how you're, you know, what it's doing to you as opposed to, you know, helping or dealing with what the actual.

Problem is. Right. That's your worldly human flesh acting on.

You. Right. So let's not be selfish. There you go.

You know, we're all working on it.

I just wish y 'all knew and understood how much I love this lady. When I... Terry and I had never sat and had lunch before ever. Never sat down and had a very long discussion about much of anything except for in passing.

And one Sunday I said, let's go have lunch. And I don't know if we went that day or if we did it for the next Sunday. But when we went to lunch, I'm going to tell you what, we got a lot covered.

We have a lot going on. So... I was like, she's probably not going to want to come out with me anymore. No.

I had felt... She got a lot of baggage. I had felt dealt with exactly the same, some of the same issues that you were feeling and going through. Exactly. So, you know, and that's what I tell people all the time.

Just because I'm 50 years old and got kids that are grown and grandkids, doesn't mean that I can't help Jayden over there. Or Mercedes. I mean, you know... That's Aisha. I mean, you know, and it's just like, you know, because...

And that's what I'm trying to encourage our younger women with interacting with our older women. Because so many of our younger women deal with so much stuff. And if they would just walk up to some of our older women and say, hey, can I talk to you for a minute?

Yeah. They would learn a lot. And I know it's like very... I mean, I get it. Y 'all are like... We don't want to talk to them. I don't... That was never my issue. My issue was more of.

They probably have more like real problems than my problems. That's how I always saw it. But they probably.

Never did what I'm doing. So they would.

Understand. I learned quickly that was false. That's absolutely true. I've had many discussions with them. But that was my issue. But I also think a lot of younger people's issue is the vulnerability.

Because now, like, in my generation it's definitely a thing. You don't share feelings and any kind of showing of weakness. That's how they view vulnerability. When in reality, vulnerability is... That's courageous.

Because to be vulnerable and to open yourself up like that you have to be able to handle hurtful things that people are going to use against you from it. But in our reality being vulnerable for me has been more freeing than holding it in.

Makes you grow. To the point that now I'm like well if somebody uses it against me I really don't care. Like I said that for a reason and you know that. And if you choose to turn that and twist that into something that it isn't, that's on you and not on me.

And the people that know me will know what it really was.

So... Remember that person that hurt you. Because you can always still be the bigger person and it can still be a teaching moment to use wisdom to help that other person. Kindness and patience.

Mercy. Mercy. Mercy was what I... Grace. Mercy was something and grace that I had to... That was a hard one to learn but when I did learn it I was more of a... I had to put myself... Whenever I got discouraged with someone or felt some way towards them that was not appropriate, I'd always say well what if I was in that situation?

And so then I have to put it in a perspective where I have to understand their feelings so that it's easier to be merciful and gracious to those people. But then you always still have those people that you're like come on you have a problem with everything.

Just...

But you still have to do it. Not everything in your life.

You have to be careful with the word everything.

Actually sitting with one of the older ladies of the church which we're not older. We have older women than we are. That is true. We have been commanded though to help y 'all. Yes. And God has told us that that's what we're here for.

So... Even for me too. Right. I mean y 'all are commanded to help the ones that are younger than you two. Which we won't talk about in the nursery department right now. Why are you looking at me? Because you're the youngest one sitting here.

Help. But I'm not crawling on the floor. But I mean that's what we're called to do. And I feel like that's one direction that I'm really trying to get the WOW ministry into doing is to be more open and being more available for these younger women in our church because so many of them need us.

Yes. And we need to be more available and we need to be more...

I was glad to hear that there was a lot of your age going on the ministry. I was very excited to hear that. Because we have struggled to get that.

To happen for a long time. Yeah, the youngest is 18.

And the people that are 18 that are going that I heard... I'm so thankful they are. Yeah. They need it. Absolutely. Well I'm just thankful because I'm like at least they're learning quicker than I did.

Hopefully we can save them from those hard times and get it to them quicker.

Look at the hard times and look where they've gotten you. You see what I mean? There's a reason why you went through them. And now is the time for you to share that reason. And that reason is because of the grace and mercy that God's given you and shown you.

So that's what I have. I just have many more years than you do. So like you, you're trying to prevent them.

From many, many years. You're trying to prevent me from it. It's so hard.

And my goal is to not let you go through what I went through and be as old as I was when I became a Christian. I was in my 40s. Yeah. Y 'all want to fix all this. Y 'all want to fix all this before you're my age.

You're not but 50. Uh, yeah. I'm older than her.

Y 'all are not even that old. Oh, 53 feels old. That's not, no. I think my dad's 53. So there you go. I mean, it doesn't always.

Feel 53 but most of the time, yeah. As soon as we get to retreat you'll have to help us get up and set up. She's going to be in my room. Yay, that's right.

Y 'all have to call her in the middle of the night. You need to come help me. Get up out of there. Honestly, she knows how I am. It may be me.

Okay, we'll come help you out of bed. I'm not very much help either. Oh, it's going to be so much fun.

Well, anyways. See, we went from discouragement to ministry. It goes all over the place. That's why I thank the good Lord above that He's over all of this and not me. Because if I was to plan this, it would flop.

Like a pancake from the sink. Here we go. It doesn't flop. Well, Carrie, I want to thank you. We will have you on again. Thank you. I know. It's already 7. Yeah, it's already after 7. I can't see what everybody's saying.

Neither can I. We can't see.

You. That's why it's over there. They're here to be. We had it where we were reading the comments and I got far too distracted. That's me. This is not Q &A. That's for Saturday.

We'll go back and answer them later. Send them to Josiah. That's what I do on Saturdays. That's what you should just do. You have any questions, just check with Josiah.

Pastor Josiah in Florida for answering questions, I guess. Because he can type.

Because he does it. Either he does or she does. It's in the.

Verse of where the answer will be. Oh, you help him on the question and answer thing on Saturday.

Yeah, I have counseling right before. So, at 1, I have counseling.

And it's over. At 2, it usually.

Runs over. I heard you in the background, but I thought you were just visiting or something. That's why I'm always there. It's like, you want to stay? I'm like, might as well. I've got to watch it anyway.