17: May An Unmarried Man Be A Pastor?

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My name is Eddie Lawrence and welcome to the Ready for Eternity podcast.

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The church in the United States is facing an epidemic of biblically unqualified leaders.

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Every week, there's a new report of a pastor or a church leader involved in some sort of a scandal.

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There's two reasons for this. First, churches are ignoring the scriptural qualifications for pastors in 1

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Timothy 3 and Titus chapter 1. The second reason is that pastors and other church leaders are not being held accountable.

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I'll talk about accountability in a later podcast episode, but for now, let's focus on the biblical qualifications for pastors.

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First up is the question, may an unmarried man be a pastor?

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Paul said, "...the saying is trustworthy. If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task.

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Therefore, an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober -minded, self -controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach."

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First Timothy chapter 3 verses 1 and 2. In verses 2 through 7,

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Paul goes on to give a list of qualities that a person must possess in order to be an overseer, also known as pastor.

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At the top of the list is husband of one wife. Churches often choose an unmarried man as a pastor, but is this biblical?

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Clearly, 1 Timothy 3 verse 2 teaches us that a pastor must be the husband of one wife.

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Yet, it is very common for congregations to appoint a young single man fresh out of Bible college or seminary as their pastor.

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This biblical requirement is routinely ignored, or dismissed as being optional.

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Some argue that Paul's intended meeting was IF a man is married, he must be the husband of one wife.

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But read the verse again carefully. Paul didn't say IF a man is married.

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He begins with the premise that a man who is a candidate for pastor IS married.

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We can be certain of this because verses 4 and 5 remove all doubt.

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He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive.

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For if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church? 1

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Timothy 3 verses 4 and 5. Paul says that a man's home is the proving ground where he can show his leadership potential.

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The following quote from the Word Biblical Commentary demonstrates how some people see an

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IF where there isn't one. This verse also assumes that an overseer would be married and have children.

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Given the nature of the list, this is not a demand that an overseer be married or have more than one child.

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It is saying that a person who is married and has children must exhibit the proper leadership in his own household before attempting to do the same in God's household.

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William D. Mounts, Word Biblical Commentary. The first sentence of the quote admits

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Paul required overseers or pastors to be married.

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Then in the very next sentence denies it. It's only due to the unscriptural tradition of unmarried pastors that one would say

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IF he is married, he must be such and such. The letter makes it clear that a man must have raised faithful children in order to demonstrate that he has the potential to lead the church.

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The home is his proving ground to show he has leadership ability. Paul put great emphasis on the skills which a man acquires and demonstrates in the home.

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Therefore, we can't consider them important only if a man happens to be married.

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The man who leads his house well is not a dictator, but one who has tender care for his family.

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Mounts points this out when commenting about the word manage in verse 4.

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Pro -istemi is an interesting word. Its primary meaning is to lead, govern.

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The idea of going before evolved into the notion of to protect, care. It provides a commentary on the nature of a

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Christian father's role within his family. His leadership should be not dictatorial, but caring and protecting.

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This double nuance of leadership and caring is visible when Paul asks how someone who cannot manage his own household can be expected to care for God's household.

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First Timothy 3 .5. Leaders are not to be autocrats. They are servant leaders, following the model of Christ as a leader who serves.

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William D. Mounts, Word Biblical Commentary How can a single man demonstrate these traits?

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The entire point of these two verses is to show that a man who has managed his own family well probably has the skills necessary to lead the church.

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If he doesn't have a family, by what means can he demonstrate his ability to lead a church?

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Paul doesn't make a seminary education the test of his leadership abilities. He doesn't make a man's

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Bible knowledge the test of his leadership ability. Likewise, a man's oratory is not a test either.

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Instead, the New Testament specifies that how a man deals with his family is the means by which we can know about his caring and successful leadership.

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Let's consider a few objections that people who favor appointing single men as pastors might raise.

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An unmarried man has an advantage in ministry. Paul said that single people have an advantage in ministry.

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1 Corinthians 7. Therefore, if we harmonize this with First Timothy 3 .2,

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we see that Paul is not requiring marriage as a qualification for a man who aspires to the office of overseer, but simply that the man must live his life in sexual purity and integrity.

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1 Corinthians 7 is speaking about Christians in general, Christians of both genders.

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And Paul spoke it as a concession, not as a command in verse 6 of 1

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Corinthians 7. He was saying that single people can serve God in any situation without concerning themselves with how adverse circumstances impact a spouse.

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Being single puts one in an advantageous position in many circumstances, but it is optional.

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On the other hand, 1 Timothy 3 is specifically about the qualifications of a pastor, and is not about Christians in general.

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Paul's language here doesn't bestow the latitude that it does in 1 Corinthians 7.

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In 1 Timothy 3, Paul lays out the qualifications in a very clear and straightforward manner with no implication of the requirement being optional.

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We can't compare these two passages as if they are speaking about the same situation.

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The requirement of being the husband of one wife excludes two sets of men, polygamists and the unmarried.

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For a pastor, being single is not an advantage, it's a disqualifier.

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You're not allowing a young unmarried man to preach or teach. By your logic, single men cannot teach in the church or preach the gospel to the lost.

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Your interpretation denies knowledgeable, gifted young men the chance to use their talents.

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This objection assumes that only pastors may teach or preach. A pastor is one who has been given the oversight of a group of people who are already

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Christians. The primary job of a pastor is to teach. But this doesn't mean that pastors are the only teachers.

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And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ.

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Ephesians 4 verses 11 and 12. From this passage, we can see that God has given the church evangelists, also known as preachers, shepherds, aka pastors, and teachers.

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All of these play a role in equipping the church. There's nothing in the New Testament which would prohibit a single man from teaching or preaching.

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However, a single man cannot be a pastor. Pastors, preachers, and teachers are three distinct roles.

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While there is overlap between them, they are not the same functions. Your requirements for a pastor would have excluded

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Paul and Timothy. You are saying that Paul and Timothy, who were both single men, could not have been pastors.

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People make this objection because they don't understand the difference between an apostle, pastor, and evangelist.

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If you aren't sure you know the difference, go back and listen to episodes 10, 11, and 12 of this podcast.

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Where does the New Testament ever say that Paul and Timothy were pastors?

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Paul was an apostle, not a pastor. As far as we know, he did not have a spouse.

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Timothy was an evangelist, and he was Paul's apostolic delegate. There's no indication in the

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New Testament that Timothy had a wife. Paul was an itinerant church planter who seems to have only stayed in one place long enough to establish a community of disciples.

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As soon as a new congregation was on its feet, Paul moved on. He didn't always stay long enough to appoint pastors.

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Paul was never in one place for very long. In fact, on one occasion, he left the appointment of pastors to Titus, whom he had left behind for that very purpose.

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See Titus chapter 1 verse 5. Pastors, by the very nature of their role, tend a single flock.

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1 Peter 5 .2. Which implies they were a permanent part of the community of believers they were entrusted to shepherd.

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This isn't to say that an apostle couldn't be a pastor. Peter was both an apostle and a pastor.

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Why could Peter be a pastor but Paul could not? Peter could be an elder or a pastor by virtue of the fact that he was a married man.

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See Matthew chapter 8 verse 14. Your interpretation of the requirements for pastor would obligate a man who has been a pastor for decades to resign if his wife passes away.

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This is a much more difficult scenario. A man who has pastored for decades has demonstrated his caring leadership and his skills at managing a church.

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Does he lose those skills just because his wife dies? Obviously he does not.

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If God's only objective in requiring a pastor to have managed a family is to demonstrate the man's leadership qualities, then there is no need for a widower to resign as pastor.

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On the other hand, it's possible this is not God's only objective. A pastor gains valuable perspective from his wife.

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She has her finger on the pulse of the female members of the flock and can provide her husband with insights he would find difficult to obtain without her.

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In an unofficial capacity, she gives a voice to those in the congregation who might not be heard quite as well in her absence.

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Should a pastor resign if his wife passes away? This is a decision between the pastor,

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God, and the congregation. All we can say with certainty is that if the passing of his wife results in his inability for whatever reason to function as a pastor, he should resign.

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What's so wrong with an unmarried man serving as a pastor? The short answer is that appointing a single man as a pastor defies the plain commandments of the

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New Testament. Perhaps it would be better to focus on why God gave this requirement in the first place.

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Having raised godly children and managed a household well is evidence that a man has gained the wisdom and life experience necessary to show that he is also capable of caring for God's church.

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A man who hasn't done this is untested and inexperienced. Is he prepared for the responsibilities that come with shepherding a church?

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It's anyone's guess. God doesn't want young, inexperienced leaders learning by trial and error as they attempt to lead a congregation.

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He wants men who have gained wisdom by having already done similar work on a smaller scale, that is, raising a family.

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There is a reason the Bible uses the term elder synonymously with pastor.

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By definition, a pastor is an older man, old enough to have raised children to maturity.

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Churches often suffer when they ignore biblical instruction. Although anecdotal, it has been my experience that churches who disregard

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God's instruction suffer for it. Young men who are unmarried, or even those who are married but have not yet raised a family, lack the life experience and the wisdom needed to shepherd a flock of God's people.

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The church will suffer because of his lack of experience. Our churches are floundering due to unqualified leaders.

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Only when the church decides to trust God's wisdom related to the selection of qualified leaders will the situation improve.

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Keep studying your Bible, growing closer to God, and getting ready for eternity.