A WOW Moment with Vicki and Mercedes - May 21, 2020

You got Wi-Fi ready? Don't ever open Wi-Fi. Okay. Let's speed it up a little bit. There we go.

We'll wait a few seconds. It says we're a little early. We don't have to wait a few seconds. We can just go and nobody hear any of it. Man, you're vicious. That's not vicious. That's just hiding. A little bit.

Okay, Jenny's here. That's good.

What do you have? What kind do you have?

This is Holman. My new favorite version is ESV, but Holman is what I was just reading about. Okay. It's all good. You should be reading from Holman. Good evening, everybody. How are y 'all? Welcome.

Opening the Bible Study and Introducing the Guests

To our Bible study tonight. Tonight we were at the lovely home of Ms. Gwen Shipley. I'm Vicki and that's Mercedes. Tonight we are really blessed to have Gwen with us. She brings a lot of... She puts a lot of hope into my heart for myself a lot of days.

So, I really don't know... We did no preparation really whatsoever. Not me. I did not. Somebody did. You're talking about one sentence, right? One sentence. Anyway, Gwen, thanks again for having us tonight.

What is your favorite Bible verse, or what is your go-to verse?

Well, the whole chapter of Psalms 103, but primarily verse 14. Mercedes, will you read the scripture, please? Just 14, right?

And not the whole chapter. Psalm 103, 14, for He knows what we are made of, remembering that we are dust. Gwen, why is this your go-to verse?

It's been my favorite for probably going on three years now, and that would be.

Just because I've come through a really rough time as far as where is my value and worth, and my faults and my mistakes seem to be magnified and glaring, more so in my own eyes than other people's. But when you're in the midst of that time, you don't see that other people don't see you that way.

You think that the way you're seeing yourself is how everybody sees you. And I just found comfort in this verse in that God already knew all of that. He hadn't forgotten that I'm a woman, that I have emotions, that I'm going to be insecure, that I'm going to make mistakes.

That He already provided grace for that, that He remembers that I'm just dust, that I'm just human. God hasn't forgotten I'm a woman. God hasn't forgotten that I'm a woman in her late 40s, and all the emotions that come along with that.

I'm there. I'll be 50 next month. Anyways, to remind the grave. But you know, actually I did look at this before we started. We were sitting here at the table discussing it to where I would have everything open and be ready.

Also, another verse that you like is.

8, 9, and 10? Yeah, 8, 9, and 10. And then also.

13. 8, 9, and 10, and 13.

Everybody else's favorite is 11 and 12. And I don't mean to skip it, but it's just not the one. It's not where I am right now.

Okay. Mercedes, do you want to read 8, 9, 10, and 13? Okay. The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and rich in faithful love. He will not always accuse us or be angry forever. He has not dealt with us as our sins deserve, or repaid us according to our offenses.

Verse 12. As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions.

From us. 13.

Oh. Sorry. That's all right. As a father has compassion on His children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.

To me, it's amazing that He doesn't deal with me as the world, or more importantly, as Christians, as we think our sins deserve. But instead, as a father has compassion on His children, that's how He responds to us.

That's how He treats us and thinks about us and feels towards us. And that could come with discipline, because a father that loves His children does discipline them. But the anger that I think He must feel or the disappointment that I think He must feel for my continued mistakes and my, mostly it's my thoughts not being, not believing the best for me.

Not believing that He has the best for me and sees the best in me. That's what gets me, is that I can't control my thoughts. Are you in my head? No. I'm beside your head. Man.

That sounds just like me, because this right here really got me. He will not always accuse us or be angry at us.

Because I think where I beat myself up the most is I would wake up in an insecure moment with an insecure thought in my head that's doubting God and His purpose for me and for that I have a purpose. And you know, what do you do with that?

You were in a vulnerable position. You woke up. And so now all of a sudden you quickly got to try to snatch your thoughts and take them captive. And it's very, it can be very condemning to say, why do I wake up with this?

If my thoughts were right when I went to bed, why can't I wake up with my thoughts being right? And you know, so you start your day just laying there already full of insecurities and you've got to address it right away and remember that He understands.

He knows that I'm dust.

Have you ever had that happen to you in the middle of the night? Oh, yes.

And then you can't get back to sleep? Uh-huh. You know how I figured out how to go back to sleep? Start praying for somebody else and sure enough you'll go right on back to sleep. Pretty good. I remember one time texting Tara that I woke up in the middle of the night and started praying for her.

I don't remember if I told her, thanks for helping me get back to sleep.

Or not. I might have left that part out of the text. Well, there you go, Tara. Now you know.

She was praying for you, but she had helped her go back to sleep. But yeah, I think that taking the thoughts off of you and thinking of someone else put you at peace, but, you know, there might also be spiritual warfare that Satan leaves you alone because you don't want to pray for anybody else.

I don't know. That could be true. Who knows?

Mercedes, have you ever had that happen?

What? Sorry, I was... What? I always catch her in the dream.

And then she always says, what? Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night and not been able to go back to sleep because of your own insecure thoughts? It's usually what keeps me up at night. So you're not able to go to sleep.

So what do you do for that?

Same thing you do. Right to sleep. Wow! I hope somebody's praying for me when they fall asleep.

Yeah, next time you're not getting sleep, pray for me. But, you know, to be honest with you, I've heard so many women in the past that have their insecurities and they have things within themselves that if you try to.

Encourage somebody else, especially if it's somebody else that's going through the same thing that you're going through.

Yes. And you end up actually ministering to.

Yourself. I think that's one of the things that kind of sets Witten apart a little bit is most churches that I've been involved in, there wouldn't have been anybody else that had my problem. Ha ha. Sarcastic.

There was nobody else there that was willing to own up to.

What he chose. She almost spit her teeth from the seat.

But it's true. Because you go to church, I've been to the church that everything was just fine. Hello?

I have a visitor. Hello. Hi, dear. We're in the middle of a wow moment. You want to come say hi? Hi, friends. We're live.

He wants to be a wow. We've only got one. Yeah, yeah, Mr. Mike. Anyways, back to what we were saying. I've been in a church, and I've been at more than one, where everything just looks like it's all just with a bow around it.

But it's not. Not that we know everything about everybody, but I can walk through and quite a few women, I know that they are exactly where I am, or they have been exactly where I am, or they're where I was three years ago, where now I'm on a better side of it.

I still struggle, but I'm sane in my struggle. Now I'm not I'm not totally.

Irrational in my struggle. So three years ago, you were in left field.

Pretty much. And a lot of people have been very forgiving.

Of my current seat. I've been grateful for that. I've tried to make sure to go back into Alabama.

You put up with a lot. Thank you for sticking with me and giving me chances again afterwards. That's again where I feel like within our church, which is the people that are in the church,.

This verse actually are these several verses because the people of the church remember that we are just... And you know what?

The more that you remember that about yourself, the more you're willing to think that towards other people and give them the same grace. But if you don't receive that grace from the Lord and believe it and apply it, it's easy to say that it applies to other people.

And that's our kind of go-to. That applies to them, but not to me. But even if you can say that when it comes to treating people like that applies to them, you almost cannot treat someone in that manner if you don't believe it about yourself.

True. True. You can say the words, but when it comes to the actions, the actions always say what your heart really believes. That's true. She's turning pages a lot. I keep waiting for her to slap us with some wisdom.

I'm still working on it.

She'll pop out in a minute and say, hey, by the way, in verse... Well, you know, being real and being who you actually are is actually one of the hardest things that I had to do. When I first started coming to Whitman, I wanted everybody to think that everything was okay.

It was amazing how many people saw through that. And I think that that's where I finally was like, I can't smile at these people and then say, oh, she's good. No, they know better. They know better and still want you around.

Amazingly, yes. Of course, you know, you know. What? I had a feeling she was looking at me. Oh. She feels my eyeballs. I do. The thing is is that sometimes I don't even feel, I don't make the heat radiate from my eyeballs towards her because I guess I have that, you know, mighty power.

I don't know. Right. I try not to. But sometimes it just comes out. Back to the scripture. Verse 10. That plainly says we all deserve to go to hell. Yes. I mean, there is no answer but it's about it and it's the truth.

That's one thing too that a lot of people can't deal with. Great world's truth. Especially women. And for one woman to pass one truth to another woman, a lot of times they take offense to it. Have you had that happen?

Uh-huh. Have you? A couple times. Really? But I trust.

It's never going to happen again. I bet it will. What do you think, Mercedes? I don't know. She looked at you because she's ready to talk now. Go ahead. Break bad on us, girl. Break bad on us.

Exodus 34 6 -7. Reiterates Psalms 103. Um. Exodus 34 6 -7. I want the wrongdoings on the.

Grandchildren, so I'd rather take the compassionate and gracious.

Full of faithful love and truth. But when I think of it, take all of those.

Right. But if I have that faithful love and truth and that grace covering my sins, true that. I'll take that side of it. I don't want to be in the not leave the guilty unpunished. I'm not guilty because I've got God's grace and His blood covering my sin.

I've been found not guilty. I've been rendered innocent.

Rendered innocent. Then you've got Isaiah 57 -16 that says, For I will not accuse you forever, and I will not always be angry for when for then the spirit would grow weak before me, even the breath of man which I have made.

What was that? 57? 16.

And that's why I flipped. Because I wanted to find other places to say the same thing.

You inspired me. Psalm 78 -39 says, He remembered that they were only fat flesh and that passes and does not return. 78 -39? Mm-hmm. 38 says, Yet He was compassionate. He atoned for their guilt and did not destroy them.

He often turned His anger aside and did not unleash all His wrath. He remembered that they were only flesh. Dust to dust.

Human. Yet we fail every day. Well, one of these days we won't fail anymore because.

We'll be with Him. If you look at the beginning of the chapter, verse 10 and 13 and 14, all of the 10 through 14, all of that benefit that we have that He doesn't deal with us according to our sins and what they deserve and that He remembers for us, we can have that because at the beginning of the chapter, verse 3, He's the one who forgives all your iniquities, heals all your diseases, redeems your life from the pit, crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, satisfies you with good, renews you like eagles.

The Lord's works are righteous and justice and the Lord is merciful and gracious. So we have the benefits down here, not because of anything that we did. All of this is who He is. Because of who He is, we get the benefit of having Him remember that we're just dust, of having Him not deal with us how we deserve but rather.

With the mercy. Do you feel like some days though that you're getting dealt what you deserve?

No. I mean, I might feel it, but if I force myself to look at.

Truth, no, I know I don't get.

What I deserve. I mean, because you talk about, you know, you wake up and you're in that bad position. Those bad thoughts are there.

Have you ever... But when I have those bad thoughts and I look at how my life is and how it's turned out, I know I haven't gotten what I deserve. I know I haven't. I don't deserve a house that's nice.

I don't deserve a husband that loves me like he does. I don't deserve to have had the blessing of the ministry that we've gotten to participate in. I don't deserve to have five children that honor their parents and serve the Lord.

I mean, I don't deserve any of those things. So if I force myself to turn my thoughts towards those things, then I can override... No, not override. I can put into check those thoughts. Yes. But if I keep noodling the bad thoughts in my head, I'll just keep on growing them and giving them more weight and more value and significance that isn't...

It's not eternal. Those are momentary feelings and feelings lie to you all the time. Well, since becoming the.

Women's Director, I've come into contact with many women in our church that have reached out to me or they've just walked up to me and shared a lot of their thoughts and feelings. A lot of women feel like that it happens because God allows it to because of the punishment.

It's so hard for me because I've not always dealt with anger or being disheartened or anxiety or depression in the way that I deal with them now. So, I've tried to explain to many women that those things are not of the Lord.

That He does not...

He doesn't torture you. I think there's an importance to differentiate in our head between punishment versus consequences. This is true too. Life comes with consequences. If we overspend, it's unfair to then say, oh God, wipe out my debt.

Right. We overspend. There's going to be consequences to that. It has nothing to do with the Lord. It is not a punishment of the Lord's. Now, does the Lord punish His children? He does. But I think that when things go wrong in our lives, a lot of times we want that to be the go-to when it's not a punishment, it's just a consequence.

There's good and bad consequences. Yes, there is. And I've told a number of women, when you are in the middle of a snowball of bad consequences, you need to start another snowball of good consequences.

The same will happen if you change your behavior and your thought processes. You can get a snowball of good consequences going that will help you while you have to endure the consequences you've created that were the negative.

So I think that part of it is redefining your head, forcing yourself to take ownership. This isn't a punishment. God is not punishing me, but He's not going to remove the consequences. Because if He removed everybody's consequences, there would be no lessons learned.

We would just continue to repeat the same mistakes. The same as with our children, with a toddler. If there's never any consequence, why would they change their behavior? But then I think also is an overriding our feelings, because that's one of the things you started with, is that many women come to you feeling, and for a while there, almost every feeling I had, I pulled it out into the light and questioned it.

I interrogated the sucker. Is this feeling real? Is there anything to it that is real at all? And for a while there, most of them, there wasn't any truth to any of it. But I could have convinced myself it was true, let me tell you.

I could have convinced myself it was true. Because that's easy to talk yourself into it. And that's why it's critically important to have women of wisdom, biblical wisdom, that will gently point you to the truth and say, that's just not.

True. It is not true.

And as harsh as that sounds, there was a number of women that had to say that to me. There was times I wouldn't even take it from any of the women, and Jeff would have to say, Gwen, that is not accurate.

Your feelings are not accurate at all. And I would look at him and say, you're supposed to be my husband, I need a pastor right now. It's not fair. It's not fair. You just want to say, stop.

I can't even go home away from my pastor. He's there. Oh, man. Gwen, I never thought about it like that.

He's very gentle and gracious, though. I'm being funny. He actually was... I was very blessed. Who knows how long I would have continued in that without him. This is true. It's true.

Because I didn't have that, so I was just constantly digging myself. And then I met y 'all. Aren't you the blessed one? And I was like, oh, there's steps to get out of this hole? Laughter.

So, but yes. I was being funny. We're the blessed ones. Because you're funny and genuine and deep. Well, you know, I have my days. Some days I'm not very funny.

You can't always be. And some days I'm too deep. But you're not deep in your hole anymore. No. I'm out of it completely. I'm out of it. How about you, Mercedes? Yeah. How's your hole? It's quite warm.

That's not good. You don't want to be warm and cozy. It's not as horrible as it used to be. Because I was about to say, I sure would hate to have to go to the freezer and dump ice into your hole if it's that warm and cozy.

But, anyways. Well, I think we're running out of time. What time do y 'all have? Oh, you don't have your phone. There you go.

Oh, we have four more minutes. We don't have to use the four minutes. We can just be done. You've done an excellent job.

I quit. Then I go, Do you need to go? I try to not say anything gross on this thing.

I'm quickly editing myself. The first night,.

I thought Mercedes was going to cheat. I thought I was going to blow a kid. Yeah. She really did. We actually texted Pastor Jeff and asked him if we could pay him. Because we were both so nervous. He was like, I'd rather you not.

He said no.

But, anyways. I hope everybody has enjoyed tonight. Gwen, I really, really, really thank you for allowing us to come over and study with you tonight. I'll tell you, we've done several of these now. Every night, I learn something new.

Not just from Scripture, but from the women that I sit with. We sat and discussed a lot. There's a lot of stuff that I've learned about you tonight that I didn't know.

Last time I discovered the things you learned about me weren't very flattering. I went to Jeff and I was like, this is what Vicki learned about me.

Tuesday night? Yeah, the first Tuesday night.

Well, this past Tuesday night, I learned a few more things.

But, anyways, that's a whole other show.

But, anyways, I really hope... I know you're watching me. I better straighten up my act.

I hope y 'all have enjoyed tonight as much as I have. I don't know who we'll have next Thursday. It's a surprise to us, usually. Again, I really want to thank you for allowing us to... Look at her. She's talking to you.

I really want to thank you for allowing us to come into your beautiful home tonight, Gwen. I was looking at Mercedes and I was making her uncomfortable. You must have heat rays coming from your eyeballs, too.

Do I have heat rays coming from my eyeballs?

I want cold rays because I want you to be comfortable in your home. Well, in four minutes, where were you at on that? Anyways, thanks again, y 'all. I hope you've enjoyed tonight.

We have thoroughly enjoyed tonight. We will probably still be sitting here talking for another 30 minutes or so. Honey, if you're expecting me, how many times do you think? It'll be a little bit.

Would you like to go sit there? This has been a wild moment.

Thanks, guys. I appreciate y 'all coming and watching us tonight.