A WOW Moment with Vicki and Mercedes - May 21, 2020

Whitten Baptist Church

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Can I watch while I'm ready? Okay.

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We can just go and nobody hear any of it.

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Man, you're vicious. That's not vicious. That's just hiding.

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A little bit. Okay, Jenny's here. That's good. Which version is that?

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It says what I'm doing. It's the same one. What do you have? What kind do you have?

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This is Holman. My new favorite version is ESV. But Holman is what

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I would jump start reading it out of. Okay. It's open. She'll be reading from Holman.

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I'm good with that. Good evening everybody. How are y 'all? Welcome to our

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Bible study tonight. Tonight we were at the lovely home of Ms. Gwen Shipley.

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And you know I'm Vicki and that's Mercedes. Tonight we are blessed, really blessed to have

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Gwen with us. She brings a lot of She puts a lot of hope into my heart for myself a lot of days.

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So I really don't know We did no preparation really whatsoever.

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Not me. I did not. But somebody did. You were talking about one sentence reading.

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One sentence. So anyways, So Gwen, thanks again for having us tonight.

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What is your favorite Bible verse? Or what is your go -to verse?

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Well, the whole chapter of Psalms 103, but primarily verse 14. Mercedes, will you read the scripture please?

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Just 14, right? And not the whole chapter. Psalm 103, 14.

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He knows what we are made of, remembering that we are dust. Okay, and Gwen, why is this your go -to verse?

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It's been my favorite for probably going on three years now and that would be just because I've come through a really rough time as far as where is my value and worth and my faults and my mistakes seem to be magnified and glaring, more so in my own eyes than other people's.

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But when you're in the midst of that time and you don't see that other people don't see you that way, you think that the way you're seeing yourself is how everybody sees you.

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And I just found comfort in this verse in that God already knew all of that.

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He hadn't forgotten that I'm a woman, that I have emotions, that I'm going to be insecure, that I'm going to make mistakes.

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He already provided grace for that. He remembers that I'm just dust, that I'm just human.

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I like that. God hasn't forgotten I'm a woman. God hadn't forgotten that I'm a woman in her late 40s and all the emotions that come along with that.

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I'm there. I'll be 50 next month. Anyways, never mind the grape.

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Actually, I did look at this before we started.

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We were sitting here at the table just discussing it to where I would have everything open and be ready. Another verse that you like is you said 8, 9, and 10?

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Yeah, 8, 9, and 10. And then also 13. 8, 9, and 10 and 13.

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Everybody else's favorite is 11 and 12. I don't mean to skip it, but it's just not the one that's not where I am right now.

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Okay. Mercedes, do you want to read 8, 9, and 10 and 13? The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and rich in faithful love.

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He will not always accuse us or be angry forever. He has not dealt with us as our sins deserve or repaid us according to our offenses.

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Verse 12. As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

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13. Oh, sorry. That's all right. As a father has compassion on his children, so the

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Lord has compassion on those who fear him. To me, it's amazing that he doesn't deal with me as the world, or more importantly, as Christians as we think our sins deserve.

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But instead, as a father has compassion on his children, that's how he responds to us.

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That's how he treats us and thinks about us and feels towards us. And that could come with discipline, because a father that loves his children does discipline them.

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But the anger that I think he must feel, or the disappointment that I think he must feel from my continued mistakes, and my mostly it's my thoughts not being, not believing the best for me.

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Not believing that he has the best for me and sees the best in me. That's what gets me is that I can't control my thoughts.

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Are you in my head? No. I'm beside your head. But man, that sounds just like me, because this right here really got me.

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It will not always accuse us or be angry forever.

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Because I think where I beat myself up the most is I would wake up in an insecure moment with an insecure thought in my head that's doubting

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God and his purpose for me and that I have a purpose. And you know, what do you do with that?

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You were in a vulnerable position. You woke up. And so now all of a sudden you quickly got to try to snatch your thoughts and take them captive.

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And it's very it can be very condemning to say why do I wake up with this? If my thoughts were right when

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I went to bed, why can't I wake up with my thoughts being right? And you know, so you start your day just laying there already full of insecurities and you've got to address it right away and remember that he understands.

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He knows that I'm dust. Have you ever had that happen to you in the middle of the night? Oh yes!

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And then you can't go back to sleep? Uh -huh. You know how I figured out how to go back to sleep?

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Start praying for somebody else and sure enough you'll go right on back to sleep. Pretty good sleep.

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One time I texted Tara that I woke up in the middle of the night and started praying for her.

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I don't remember if I told her thanks for helping me go back to sleep or not. I might have left that part out of the text. Well there you go

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Tara. She was praying for you but she had to help her go back to sleep. But yeah I think that taking the thoughts off of you and thinking of someone else put you at peace but you know there might also be a spiritual warfare that Satan leaves you alone because you don't want to pray for anybody else.

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I don't know. That could be true. Who knows. Mercedes have you ever had that happen? What? Sorry.

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I don't know. I always catch her in the dream and then she always says what?

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Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night and not been able to go back to sleep because of your own insecure thoughts?

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It's usually what keeps me up at night. So you're not able to go to sleep. Yeah. So what do you do for that same thing you do?

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Pray for sleep. Wow! I hope somebody's praying for me when they fall asleep.

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Yeah. Next time y 'all can't sleep pray for me. But you know to be honest with you

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I've heard so many women in the past that have their insecurities and they have things within themselves that if you try to encourage somebody else especially if it's somebody else that's going through the same thing that you're going through Yes.

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And you end up actually ministering to yourself. I think that's one of the things that kind of sets

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Whitney apart a little bit is most churches that I've been involved in there wouldn't have been anybody else that had my problem.

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Ha ha sarcastic. There was nobody else there that was willing to own up to what you chose.

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She almost bit her teeth. But it's true because you go to church and I've been to the church that everything was just fine.

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We're going to have a visitor. Hello. Hi dear we're in the middle of a wow moment. You want to come say hi?

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Hi friends. We're live. Hi friends.

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He wants to be a wow. Ha ha. We've had a guy a while before. Yeah, yeah

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Mr. Mike. Anyways, back to what we were saying I've been in a church and I've been at more than one where everything just looks like it's all just with a bow around it and everything's just perfect but it's not.

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But at Witten Not that we know everything about everybody but I can walk through and quite a few women

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I know that they are exactly where I am or they have been exactly where I am or they're where I was three years ago where now

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I'm on a better side of it I still struggle but I'm sane in my struggle now I'm not I'm not totally irrational in my struggle

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So three years ago you were in left field?

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Yeah. Pretty much. And a lot of people have been very forgiving of my current seat so I'm very grateful for that.

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I'm trying to make sure to go back into Alabama. You put up with a lot. Thank you for sticking with me and giving me chances again afterwards.

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And that's again where I feel like within our church which is the people that are in the church this verse actually are these several verses because the people of the church remember that we are just dust.

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And you know what? The more that you remember that about yourself, the more you're willing to think that toward other people and give them the same grace.

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But if you don't receive that grace from the Lord and believe it and apply it it's easy to say that it applies to other people and that's our kind of go -to.

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That applies to them but not to me. But even if you can say that when it comes to treating people like that applies to them you almost cannot treat someone in that manner if you don't believe it about yourself.

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You can say the words but when it comes to the actions, the actions always say what your heart really believes.

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That's true. I know!

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I keep waiting. She's turning pages a lot I keep waiting for her to slap us with some wisdom. I'm still working on it.

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She'll pop out in a minute and say, hey by the way in verse... Well you know being real and being who you actually are is actually one of the hardest things that I had to do.

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When I first started coming to Witten I wanted everybody to think that everything was okay. And it was amazing how many people saw through that.

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It really was. And I think that that's where I finally was like this is where I fit.

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I can't smile at these people and then say oh she's good. No they know better.

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They know better and still want you around. Amazingly yes. Of course you know you have a lot of sharing up here.

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What? I had a feeling she was looking at me. Oh my She feels my eyeballs.

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I do. Do you like this day? The thing is that sometimes

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I don't even feel I don't make the heat radiate from my eyeballs towards her because I guess

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I have that you know mighty power. I don't know. Maybe my Vicky won't give it to you. Right.

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I try not to. But sometimes it just comes out. Back to the scripture.

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Verse 10 that plainly says we all deserve to go to hell.

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Yes. I mean there is no ands ifs or buts about it and it's the truth.

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That's one thing too that a lot of people can't deal with very well is truth. Especially women.

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And for one woman to pass on truth to another woman a lot of times they take offense to it.

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Have you had that happen? Have you? Oh yeah. A couple times. Really? But I trust it's never going to happen again.

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I bet it will. What do you think Mercedes? She looked at you because she's ready to talk now.

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Go ahead. Break bad on us girl. Break bad on us.

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Exodus 34 6 -7 Kind of reiterates

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Psalms 103 8 -10 Exodus 34 6 -7

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Ouch. I don't want the wrong doings on my grandchildren so I'd rather take the compassionate and gracious full of faithful love and truth.

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But when I think I'd take all of those. Right, but if I have that faithful love and truth and that grace covering my sins

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True that. I'll take that side of it. I don't want to be in the not leave the guilty he won't leave the guilty unpunished.

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I'm not guilty because I've got God's grace and his blood covering my sins. I've been found not guilty.

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I've been rendered innocent. Rendered innocent. Then you've got

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Isaiah 57 -16 that says for I will not accuse you forever and I will not always be angry for when for then the spirit would grow weak before me even the breath of man which

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I have made. What was that? 57? 16. And that's why

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I flipped because I wanted to find other places to say the same thing. You made me, you inspired me

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Psalm 78 -39 says he remembered that they were only flesh a wind that passes and does not return.

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78 -39 38 says yet he was compassionate he atoned for their guilt and did not destroy them he often turned his anger aside and did not unleash all his wrath he remembered that they were only flesh.

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That's the best. Yet yet we fail every day.

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Well one of these days we won't fail anymore because we'll be with him.

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If you look at the beginning of the chapter verse 10 and 13 and 14 all of that 10 through 14 all of that benefit that we have that he doesn't deal with us according to our sins and what they deserve and that he remembers for us we can have that because at the beginning of the chapter verse 3 he he's the one who forgives all your iniquities, heals all your diseases redeems your life from the pit, crowns you with steadfast love and mercy satisfies you with good renews you like eagles.

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The Lord's works are righteous and justice and the Lord is merciful and gracious so we have the benefits down here not because of anything that we did all of this is who he is because of who he is we get the benefit of having him remember that we're just dust.

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Of having him not deal with us how we deserve but rather with the mercy.

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Do you feel like some days though that you're getting dealt what you deserve? No. I mean when you like I might feel it but if I force myself to look at truth, no

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I know I don't get what I deserve. I mean because you talk about you know you wake up and you're in that bad position or those bad thoughts are there.

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Have you ever, well but when I have those bad thoughts and I look at how my life is and how it's turned out

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I know I haven't gotten what I deserve I know I haven't. I don't deserve a house this nice.

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I don't deserve a husband that loves me like he does. I don't deserve to have had the the blessing of the ministry that we've gotten to participate in.

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I don't deserve to have five children that honor their parents and serve the Lord. I mean I don't deserve any of those things so if I force myself to turn my thoughts towards those things then

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I can override no not override, I can put into check those thoughts.

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Yes, but if I keep noodling the bad thoughts in my head,

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I'll just keep on growing them and giving them more weight and more value and significance that isn't it's not eternal those are momentary feelings and feelings lie to you all the time.

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Well since becoming a women's director I've come into contact with many women in our church that have reached out to me or they've just walked up to me and shared a lot of their thoughts and feelings and you know and a lot of women feel like that it happens because God allows it to because of punishment and I and it's so hard for me because you know

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I've not always dealt with anger or being disheartened or anxiety or depression in the way that I deal with them now.

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So I've tried to explain to many women that those things are not of the

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Lord. He does not He doesn't torture you.

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I think there's an importance to differentiate in our head between punishment versus consequences.

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This is true too. Life comes with consequences. If we overspend it's unfair to then say oh

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God wipe out my debt. We overspend. There's going to be consequences to that.

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It has nothing to do with the Lord. It is not a punishment of the Lord's. Now does the Lord punish his children?

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He does. But I think that when things go wrong in our lives a lot of times we want that to be the go to when it's not a punishment it's just a consequence.

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There's good and bad consequences. Yes there is. And I've told a number of women when you're in the middle of a snowball of bad consequences you need to start another snowball of good consequences.

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The same will happen if you change your behavior and your thought processes. You can get a snowball of good consequences going that will help you while you have to endure the consequences you've created that were the negative.

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So I think that part of it is redefining your head. Forcing yourself to take ownership.

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This isn't a punishment. God is not punishing me but he's not going to remove the consequences.

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Because if he removed everybody's consequences there would be no lessons learned. We would just continue to repeat the same mistakes.

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The same as with our children, with a toddler. If there's never any consequence why would they change their behavior?

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Older. But then I think also is an overriding our feelings because that's one of the things you started with is that many women come to you feeling and for a while there almost every feeling

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I had I pulled it out into the light and questioned it. I interrogated the sucker. Is this feeling real?

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Is there anything to it that is real at all? And for a while there most of them there wasn't any truth to any of it.

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But I could have convinced myself it was true. Let me tell you. I could have convinced myself it was true.

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Because that's easy to talk yourself into it. And that's why it's critically important to have women of wisdom biblical wisdom that will gently point you to the truth and say that's just not true.

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It is not true. And as harsh as that sounds there was a number of women that had to say that to me.

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There was times I would need to take it from any of the women and Jeff would have to say well that's not accurate.

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Your feelings are not accurate at all. And I would look at him and say you're supposed to be my husband I need a pastor right now.

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It's not fair. You just want to say stop. I can't even go home away from my pastor.

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He's there. Oh man. Gwen I never thought about it like that.

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He's very gentle and gracious though. I'm being funny. He actually was

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I was very blessed. Who knows how long I would have continued in that without him.

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This is true. Because I didn't have that so I was just constantly digging myself.

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The hole was getting bigger. So and then I met y 'all.

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Aren't you the blessed one? And I was like oh there's steps to get out of this hole. So but yes.

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No I was being funny. We're the blessed ones. Because you're funny and genuine and deep.

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Well you know I have my days. Some days I'm not very funny. Can't always be.

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And some days I'm too deep. But you're not deep in your hole anymore. No. I'm out of it completely.

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I'm out of it. How about you Mercedes? Yeah. How's your hole?

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It's quite warm. That's not good. I don't want to be warm and cozy.

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It's not as horrible as it used to be. I was about to say I sure would hate to have to go to the freezer and dump ice into your hole.

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If it's that warm and cozy. But anyways.

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Well I think we're running out of time. What time do y 'all have? Oh you don't have your phone.

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There you go. Oh we have four more minutes. We don't have to use the four minutes. We can just be done.

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I don't know what you've done. Quit. Then I could go lose my dinner.

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I tried to not say anything gross on this thing. I'm quickly editing myself.

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The first night I thought Mercedes was going to unglue you. She really did.

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We actually texted Pastor Jeff and asked him if we could paint. Because we were both so nervous.

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He was like, I'd rather you not. He said no. He said no.

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But anyways. I hope everybody has enjoyed tonight. Gwen I really, really, really thank you for allowing us to come over and study with you tonight.

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I'll tell you we've done several of these now. Every night I learn something new.

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Not just from scripture, but from the women that I sit with. We sat and discussed stuff a lot.

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There's a lot of stuff that I've learned about you tonight I didn't know. Last time I discovered the things you learned about me weren't very flattering.

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I went to Jeff and I was like, this is what Vicki learned about me. Tuesday night? Yeah, the first Tuesday night.

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Well, this past Tuesday night I learned a few more things. But anyways, that's a whole other show. But anyways,

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I don't know if you're watching me. I'm like, oh. I better straighten up my act.

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Never ending. I hope y 'all have enjoyed tonight as much as I have. I don't know who we'll have next

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Thursday. It's a surprise to us usually. But again,

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I really want to thank you for allowing us to... She's talking to you. I really want to thank you for allowing us to come into your beautiful home tonight.

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You're very welcome. I was looking at Mercedes and I was making her uncomfortable. She succeeded.

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You must have heat rays coming from your eyeballs too. Do I have heat rays coming from my eyeballs too?

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I want cold rays because I want you to be comfortable in your home. Wow, about four minutes.

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Where were you at on that? Anyways, thanks again y 'all.

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I hope you've enjoyed tonight. We have thoroughly enjoyed tonight. We will probably still be sitting and talking for another 30 minutes or so.

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So honey, if you're expecting me, I'm anytime soon. It'll be a little bit... Would you like to close this out there?

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And this has been a welcome event. Thanks guys. I appreciate y 'all coming and watching us tonight.