January 15th 2020 - Pastor Jeff Shipley - Regaining Honor

Y 'all know what Jubilee is?

Y 'all know what that means?

No, a lot of you don't because you're from Arkansas, so let me help you.

The year of Jubilee was every 50 years, every debt was forgiven by

the law and decree of God.

When it says it's the year of Jubilee, ladies and gentlemen, the year of Jubilee happened in

perpetuity at the cross of Jesus Christ.

We have been set free from all our debts.

That's why we praise and worship God.

Not to receive feelings, but to give Him what is worth and due because guys, I'm going home

one day and nothing in this world is going to stop that.

If you can't get excited about that, if you can't feel a sense of peace, of knowing that there is

nothing that's going to befall you, there is nothing that is going to happen to prevent the hand of

God taking yours at the moment of death and calling you home.

I don't know how to understand peace any other way.

I hope you understand that.

Now, Carrie, I want you at the end of the sermon to tell me announcement.

Women's.

Women's.

All right, guys.

Over the years, one of the most crippling effects on the church, besides,

am I not doing good?

Am I?

Oh, there we go.

Besides apathy and guilt from something

that we think we ought to be doing or something that we are doing and we feel like God doesn't love us or anything like this, one of the

other devastating and crippling things for a Christian living out a victorious life

is that they feel like, or in fact they have, somehow failed as

parents.

Does that apply to anyone in this room or are they all at Bellevue?

Go ahead, raise your hands.

It's okay.

What am I doing wrong?

Oh, thank you, brother.

Man, I tell you what, Dalton, you have just come alive, son.

I'm serious.

That kid, y 'all watch him one day.

Y 'all watch that boy.

I'm telling you.

All right, help me here.

Okay.

Does this work?

Yay.

All right.

In other words, you look at your kids now or you look at your kids that they're

groaning at the house and you've gone, man, we really failed on that one.

We really failed on that one.

I'm gonna let you on some truth.

The answer to your question is, yeah, you probably did.

Yeah, you did.

You failed.

You messed up.

I have five kids.

I messed up some with them too.

Now, the reason people call me and ask me about parenting and they call

the Vogue modeling check the clothes chick over here is because there is an idea

that we were the perfect parents.

Now, I was perfect.

She was not, okay?

Guys, do you realize how many mistakes I made?

It's unbelievable.

What you're measuring is you're looking and you're comparing what you've done to what I've done or

the results of your kids to my kids.

Stop it.

Stop it, okay?

But let's assume for a second you are a schmuck, that you are a failure, that you're

a big, fat, stupid loser.

How do you regain your honor from that?

Guys, I'm not here to give you parenting techniques, okay?

Because I'm a schmuck too.

What I'm here to do is how do we reverse that effect?

How do we go backwards in time?

Well, unfortunately, you can't.

The scar tissue's there.

The question is, where do you regain your honor as a parent, as a child of God,

and where do you go from here?

Well, we're gonna look at three different things today that I want you to look at in your own life.

And listen, I wasn't born in a manger.

I can't tell where you are, okay?

I can't make a judgment on, well, this is what you need to work on, and this is what you need to work on unless you come to counseling in my

office, right?

But what you can do is let the Holy Spirit and the power of God look through Scripture

and get the paradigm of Scripture to put a reflection on you, not to condemn you, stop

it, but to say, what do I need to do from here this point going forward?

Are you with me?

First thing we need to do is this.

We need to let go of guilt.

Let me tell you something.

Guilt is not from God.

God is not a Jewish mama, okay, or me.

I'm as bad as a Jewish mama, man.

Guilt trips, they don't work.

They're not from God.

God does not use guilt trips.

He uses conviction.

Well, what's the difference between the two?

One is based on human emotion, human ego, and the other one is based upon the spiritual

life that dwells within you.

That is two massive difference.

Guilt will keep going on and on and on and on and on till the day you die.

Conviction will bring about change and bring about change and bring about change, right?

That is the massive difference between the two.

Read with me in 1 Kings 1.

The only man, listen, the only man in all of Scripture who was

called a friend of God.

The only man in Scripture who was said, no, I was wrong.

The only man in Scripture who said, David had a heart after God's.

I wish I was like that.

I wish I could be said, man, that guy has a heart that's just like God's.

David was this.

David was the worst father in all of Scripture.

He had six sons.

They all were jacked up individuals.

Read with me here.

David in 1 Kings 1, he's sick, he's old, and he's dying, right?

And his third, I'm sorry, his fourth son, he had six of them.

The fourth son started doing this.

While his daddy was in the palace dying, his son went on a marketing campaign, Austin.

His son got all of these chariots and all of these people on horses, these

cavalry, and they started riding around the city with him in the back going, how you doing?

God bless you.

Oh, I'm in the South.

I love God, right?

Politicians, I'm in the North.

I love steel workers, West Virginia.

I love coal miners.

Man, you love everybody depending on where you are.

That's what this guy, have you ever noticed Hillary Clinton became a born again Christian every time she crossed the Mason -Dixon line?

You know, isn't that amazing?

But anyways, he was self -promoting himself.

And this is, read with me, 1 Kings 1.

It says, Adonijah, the son of Haggath, kept exalting himself saying, I

will be king.

He prepared chariots and cavalry and 50 men to run ahead of him.

Verse six, now listen.

But his father had never once reprimanded him by saying, why

do you act this way?

In addition, he was quite handsome and he was born after Absalom.

Parents, why do we parent by guilt?

Why do we parent by guilt?

Well, here's some reasons.

Number one, we parent by guilt because of tragedy, because of tragedy.

I know a person whose child was assaulted when they were younger.

And so, over the years, they have allowed this child to basically do

what they wanted to because they felt guilty for not protecting that

child when they were young.

Guys, guilt is the worst way to parent your

children.

Tragedy happens.

Here, the reason David didn't reprimand this young man is because he was the fourth son.

His three older brothers had already been killed.

The oldest boy had rebelled against David and when this kid was younger, they had to flee Jerusalem.

There was a civil war in the middle of this young man's growing up days.

And David didn't want to reprimand him because he felt so guilty on what this kid had to

endure this far in life.

Parents, listen to me.

Guilt via tragedy is not an excuse for the inconsistency of

raising your child by the word of the living God.

You can't feel sorry for them.

That is the worst thing which you're gonna do because here's what's gonna happen.

You're gonna make them a perpetual victim.

They're gonna be at Rutgers University needing a llama to pet because they're triggered by

microaggressions.

Daddy, if that's one of your boys, please bring them to SOG on

Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays because they need to get a little blood in the eye.

They need to man up a little bit.

They need to get knocked down.

They need to sniffle and cry and it's not getting knocked down that makes them grow up.

You know what it does?

It's getting back up after you get knocked down.

That's what makes you a man.

It ain't winning fights and scoring touchdowns.

That's not what makes you a man.

It's learning how to lose and then work harder to try to succeed the next time and that you never quit

and you never give up.

Guilt is not a good way to parent.

So to regain your honor, you gotta get rid of the guilt because of the tragedies that kids have

experienced.

Look at this next one.

Here's another thing, the reason parents overcompensate.

It's because of this.

It's because of their own past failures.

How many of you have been divorced?

Raise your hands.

Oh my God.

I didn't realize we had that many people going to hell.

Oh my God.

Really?

You harlots.

Oh.

Let me tell you something real quick.

Divorce is not in God's original plan.

Neither was eating of the fruit.

I don't make excuses for it, it's wrong.

But under certain circumstances in scripture, it was allowed.

Wrap your head around that, okay?

But here's a reality.

Most of the time I see spoiled kids and a parent who

feels guilty in correcting them is because they look at their past and their

past failures and they almost feel hypocritical to correct a child

because they feel like they're not worthy or they're gonna be hypocrites.

Guess what?

You already are a hypocrite.

So engage the issue.

We're all hypocrites.

I'm a hypocrite, right?

We all are, okay?

Looking at your past failures is doom for instructing a child.

David had another child besides these six.

What was his name?

I forget.

Huh?

No, not Solomon, the one before that, that died.

Yeah, everyone forget.

Say what you just said.

I don't, what's his name?

Not from Ephebosheth, no.

Huh?

No, it wasn't Absalom.

Where are my Bible scholars?

Bathsheba's child that she got pregnant with when David had Uriah murdered so that he could sleep

with Bathsheba, she got pregnant, got knocked up, and so he could arrange a way to make it look like that he died,

David stepped in, married her, and then they got pregnant after the wedding day.

What was that kid's name that died?

Y 'all are horrible people.

You don't remember the name of a little dead baby?

Neither does Scripture.

Oh, I don't know his name either.

The tinge, the emotions behind that are death

to a parent.

Listen to me, David sinned.

David had slept with Bathsheba, she got pregnant.

David had dude Uriah killed so that he could party

with Bathsheba.

She got knocked up, right?

David married her.

That kid died, and God said he's going to die.

David begged God, please, Lord, please, it was my, if David actually said this, God,

don't let anything fall on the, hit me with it.

He was really repentant.

He was really remorseful.

He was really sorry.

The kid died anyways.

Now, what was the name of the second kid?

It's okay, speak it out, it's Solomon.

That's the guy who originally, or who would later become king.

Let me tell you something about God's grace.

David had six boys who were legitimate government successions.

David stole Bathsheba, but the product of that marriage became the king of Israel.

Jesus was born into a line of harlots, whores, murderers, godless

heathens.

The genealogy in Luke and Matthew are so powerful because it shows no matter what failures happen in our

family, God's sovereign plan of grace still abounds.

Listen to me.

You may have failed as a parent.

You may be a drunk and your kids have seen you drunk laying on the ground.

I'm telling you, I've been in houses where I've shown up and the dad is laying in vomit on the floor.

And they're some of the strongest Christians I know right now.

Listen to me.

Your past failures do not dictate your worth and value as

the sovereign choice of God to have that child.

They don't.

Here's the thing you've got to get rid of.

You've got to get rid of the guilt of your past failures.

God has said this, your sins will I remember no

more.

It doesn't mean that God got amnesia.

What it's saying is I hold that against you no more.

If God doesn't hold it against you, you don't need to hold it against you.

And here's what's funny.

If you do, your rebellious child will actually use that as leverage to make you feel guilty

to bow to their will.

And here's what parents do.

They do it.

They feel so guilty and so bad of their past failures that they will sit and bow to the

child's demand because out of guilt.

Guys, guilt is not from God.

Number three, it's not just past failures that mess you

up.

It's not just tragedy.

It's bad examples.

Look at David.

Look at David.

First Samuel chapter 16.

David was about 14, 15 years old.

Cute little kid.

Actually, he was probably ugly.

He had red hair and he ain't never met a ginger that's cute, right?

Oh, snap.

All right.

David was a little kid.

Samuel was told by God, go find Jesse.

He's the father of many kids.

Go find him.

And one of his sons is gonna be the next king.

Why didn't God just say, hey, go grab David and anoint him?

Right?

God didn't do that, right?

And here's why.

Because it's an example of what man puts as irrelevant God will use and make a

king.

Listen, he got all his sons together.

Samuel walks up there and goes, it ain't none of these.

Is this all the sons you got?

And this is what he did.

Oh no, I got one more.

I got one more.

But it's a little redheaded stepchild.

You know, it's David.

He's out in the field watching the sheep.

He ain't nothing.

He ain't nothing.

Bring him to me.

Now, if you were David, how would you feel?

How would you feel?

That's so sad.

That's horrible.

Do you know what the Bible means when it says the sins of the father will be visited under the children under the fourth and fifth generation?

It doesn't mean that the child is accountable for the daddy's failures.

What it means is that the failures and the habitual sin of the father will be picked up

by the sons and the children.

You don't believe me?

Go look.

Guys, listen to me.

When you come to a place in life where you look back on your life and you go, I

am failure as a parent, probably nine times out of 10, you didn't have a great example

either.

My dad, you know, I'm 51 now.

And over the last 15 years, you've heard some stories about my background.

And you know, my mom and dad were not the greatest parents in the world.

Huh?

Yeah, that's an understatement.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I forgot to do this.

There we go.

But guys, I'll be honest with you.

At 51 years old, I look at my parents.

They're both dead.

And I actually feel sorrow and pity for them.

I really do.

And some of y 'all know the horror stories, but I really do look at how miserable their lives were.

And then I go back a generation.

I look at their parents and dang.

And then I go back and look at their parents.

In fact, I can go all the way back to this dude and this chick who had two sons and one of them

killed the other one.

Guys, our bad examples in life

have an influence on us.

They have an influence.

My dad was horrible, horrible in so many ways.

But there are some things that were good.

Now, you kids in here, come here for a second.

No, keep your seat.

I meant, okay.

Listen, listen.

If you had bad parents, if you have bad parents now,

I really am.

I'm so sorry that in this country, you have to endure the hell and the

misery of all the electronics in your room,

the shoes on your feet, the roof over your head, the fear of not being

dragged out by a communist guerrilla party in the middle of the night and shot.

In other words, watch this.

If you're one of them little girls, who has daddy issues, and your daddy

issues drove you into the arms of man and you got knocked up, come here.

That ain't your daddy's fault.

That's your fault.

That's your failure.

If you're one of those kids who live in perpetual rebellion because of your fears and your insecurities, and you keep trying to blame it on

your parents, come here, come here.

It's your fault.

Watch this.

When you stand before God, God isn't gonna go, give me his daddy so I can wear him out.

It says, you will stand before God.

You will be held accountable.

Now, here's the message for you.

Don't continue to perpetuate the same failure as your parents.

The greatest life you can live is through the grace of God in which you go back to scripture and you

learn how to be a parent on your own through scripture rather than the failings of your parents.

In other words, you have no excuse.

If you, listen, man, I didn't know how to be a dad.

I didn't know how to be a husband.

I didn't know nothing.

But here's the greatest thing that happened to me.

I didn't get brought up into a little stupid religious church.

And so when I didn't know what to do, the only thing I had was a Bible.

I remember in Wyoming writing down every verse that had the words father or

husband in them.

And I read them over and over again.

That's how I learned to be a father and a parent.

That's how I learned.

The word of God will change your life and everyone's life attached to you.

Now, if you had a bad example as a parent, I'm sorry.

Life stinks.

Grow up and move on.

Quit living in the excuses of it's everybody else's fault that you've made failures.

Have a little pride in yourself.

Have a little dignity.

Look in the mirror and put the blame on where blame belongs.

If there is a success in your family, it's we succeeded.

If there's a failure in your life, it's you failed.

Quit bringing along people on your road of failure.

It's your fault, 100%.

Well, brother Jeff, you don't know my situation.

I don't have to.

Excuses of failure, excuses of failure.

Grow up and find the grace of God for your life.

And if you don't know how to do that, come right up on here because I got about 40 men and 100 women that

will disciple you and help you through your little self -pity.

Get rid of guilt, parents, to regain your honor.

I'm taking too long.

Listen, listen, here's the number one thing guilt does.

Guys, listen to me.

Parents, if I could shoot one thing right now and kill it for you, it would be this word,

fear.

Do you ever watch the National Geographic?

I don't know, I don't know if that's a channel.

Baby, ever watch, you know, and Simba's crawling through the woods, you know, or it's not woods, the jungle, the

tundra, right?

And look, it's sad, you know, right?

And there's these like herds of gazelle, 10 ,000 of them, right?

They're sitting there, they're eating a little grass, you know, and everything's peaceful and fine and the hippies are all happy.

And all of a sudden, the big mean lion springs out of the, what

is that?

Grass, springs out of the grass.

And the gazelle, 500 yards away, doesn't see or hear anything that goes

on.

What's that gazelle do?

It runs, you know why?

Because the gazelle next to him ran, because the gazelle next to him ran.

500 yards back this way, Mike was sitting there, Mike's getting eaten, his throat eaten out by

a lion now.

Nobody knows why we're running, but we're all gonna run.

Fear spreads in families faster than the flu.

Thank you, Rebecca, faster than the flu.

Listen to me, dads, moms, fear comes by guilt.

Here's the number one thing that people, well, how would that make them feel?

What you're doing is you're going back in your life when you were picked on.

You're going back in your life when your parents were jerked to you.

You're going back in your life when you feel isolated, or when you felt abandoned, or when you felt

rejected.

And then you're using a vicarious measurement, not on faith, but on your

feelings in the past, and you're afraid that's gonna transfer to your kid.

Guess what?

It already has.

If you are not raising your kids in the admonition of the Lord, the fear has already passed

through.

And you'll measure it like this.

When you see truth, you'll actually, instead of adopting it, you'll say, well, I

don't agree with that.

I had a single mom.

I told her, listen, she came to me, she had two boys.

I said, listen, you need to get them boys in some sort of sports, or in the

band, or in some group.

Okay?

Well, they're not like that.

They're into drawing.

No, they're into themselves.

There's nothing wrong with artists, okay?

Most of them, they're wearing Birkenstocks and smoking way too much weed.

But really what it is, is everything that they do, whether it be on the phone, the video machines,

drawing, music in their ears, everything is revolving around

them.

Their feelings, their wants, their needs.

You need to get on a team where sacrifice and putting someone else first matters.

I remember, I remember, who in here was a lineman in high school football?

I gotta check this out.

Who was?

Yeah, Marty.

Yeah, okay, I see that.

God, Adam, you were the line, right?

What did you play?

Center guard and tackle.

Guys, when they scored the touchdown, who got the credit?

Running back, quarterback, receiver.

Who did all the work?

That's right, us, sitting on that line, right?

We've got our noses broken, our hands stepped on, so all the little rich preppy boys could go in and go,

ooh, ah, and they get to go on the high school prom dates, and we're stuck with Matilda somewhere in the back,

right?

It ain't right.

But we do all the work.

That actually is not in my sermon notes at all.

This is probably therapy for me a little bit.

Guys, when you feel and you take your vicarious feelings and fears,

and then you raise your kid according to those, you just slit your own kid's throat.

Your fears, well, how would that make him feel?

Obeying the word of God is not measured by how they feel at all, ever.

Well, you don't understand my circumstances.

No, you don't understand the sovereignty of God's word.

It ain't, oh, well, this generation, right?

He, she, him, shush, whatever.

Man and woman.

Well, yeah, but I feel, I don't care how you feel.

Well, I think, it doesn't matter what you think.

Well, I believe it really doesn't matter.

If you wanna be an atheist and scientist, how many baboons are going, I really wanna change my sex?

Ain't happening, guys.

You know why?

Because it's not truth.

You have reached a point in your life where you do believe in God.

The problem is you're God.

You're God.

Your feelings are sovereign.

Your opinions are sovereign.

Your understanding is sovereign.

Listen to me.

There is only one objective truth in which we can hang our hats on, and it is the eternal living word of

God.

Anything else is setting your kid up for failure.

Quit listening to your feelings and your fears and your failures.

Quit listening to guilt and regain your honor.

If your kid's 27 years old and still living like a godless heathen, how do you regain your honor?

You go back and do what you were doing at first.

You understand that me living my life is irrelevant to anything else with the word of God.

Let them see that my failures do not hold a grip on me anymore, that I'm gonna live by

truth and by grace, and I'm gonna be an example to my grandkids and the future generations.

And if you don't wanna do that, listen, I got a bunch of kids in here that need a new example.

Listen, you're not a failure if you get back up off the mat and try again.

Well, he's too old.

No, he's not.

Listen, I'm 51 years old.

I am a very sovereign alpha individual.

I still want my daddy to be proud of me.

I really do.

I know that sounds crazy, but I still want him to be proud of me.

And he ain't worth, in human terms, he ain't worth my desire.

But there's something in me.

I still want him to be proud.

Now, understand who my real daddy is.

Well done, thou good and faithful servant.

You have jacked it up so long, but I'm proud of you, boy, for standing up and doing what's right

now.

It's not too late.

Dad gone.

All right, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Listen, we'll do some more.

We'll do some more, but we just get to this last thing.

Okay, so yesterday, yesterday,

I went to this kid's house, huh?

No, no, no, I'm good.

I went to this kid's house.

He used to go to church here.

His parents still go to church here.

And he's shacked up with this chick.

And it's a really bad shacking up because it's mixed.

No, I'm serious.

God's, what are you laughing about, man?

I'm not so serious.

She's black, he's white.

You know, God said, don't be unequally yoked.

I mean, I got a Mexican and a white boy sitting there.

I got it.

There's a Korean and a white boy.

God, no, white power.

Yes.

Here's what it means to not be unequally yoked.

It ain't got nothing to do with something as stupid, childish, and irrelevant as a cultural deviation on what human beings

really are.

Be unequally yoked is this, he's saved, she ain't.

There's hell in that house.

There's hell in that house.

And here's why, because he's given in.

He's dropped his standards to feel secure, accepted, and loved by someone

else.

Codependency will wear your kids out.

Will wear them out.

So I'm sitting there.

God, this is a whole nother sermon.

Maybe I'll do this next week.

But anyways, I'm sitting there, and he called me over.

And he said, hey, I'm having trouble with some tile in my bathroom.

I just need your advice.

I'm like, hey, no problem.

So I drove over there, and yeah, he's got some problems.

So we were ripping tile down.

I was telling him how we're gonna fix it and all that.

And his wife comes in, and he's got some tools.

Girlfriend, yeah, girlfriend.

He's got some tools, and he's working.

And she walks in and does one of these numbers.

You don't know how to use them tools.

Why are you even trying?

This man don't know how to do nothing.

So he, and he don't, but he knows a lot more than she thinks he does.

So he gets up, and he leaves the bathroom.

Now, I don't know this chick a whole lot, okay?

But I said, come here.

I'll be your daddy.

I'll be your papa.

I'll be your pastor.

I'll be whatever, but you need to come here.

Don't ever punk your man out in front of another man, ever.

You're designing your two kids that he's adopted, loved, sacrificed, and is working for.

You're turning them into waste because the only example they got is him.

Your past failures, you've been given the grace of God.

This guy is trying.

Y 'all are all jacked up.

You're not even a Christian.

And this guy's trying, and you're going to come and punk him out?

What do you think your kid, your boys, who need a man in their life as a one to look up to, what are

you doing?

Here's what she's doing.

Ladies, listen to me.

Come here.

You need to let go of some control.

How many of you women in here have ever felt like the mom and the dad?

Some of you aren't being truthful because you've been in my office.

Listen, I know, I know it's hard being a parent.

I get it, okay?

This is going to sound horrible, I know, but y 'all bear with me.

There comes a point when you need to let go of control.

Because here's why parents, number one reason they try to control their kids.

Watch, you ready?

They don't want to be embarrassed by how their kids act in front of other people's.

You don't believe me?

The lady in Kroger who's sitting there for 15 minutes finally goes, I've had enough.

Oh, you wait till we get home.

That kid ain't never been whooped in his life.

Not consistently.

She's more concerned about how she feels and what it looks like.

And she's trying to control a situation because she's more embarrassed than really worried about how that kid gonna grow up.

That's truth, right?

I remember a couple of times when, when I was disciplining.

Now, Ashley, I remember tearing her up, but I don't remember tearing her up as much as I, God, Josiah,

oh my Lord.

Man, I mean, I'm still getting physical therapy on my arm for wearing him out, right?

Listen to me, listen to me, I'm almost done.

Listen, listen.

I remember Gwen sometimes having to do this.

I gotta leave the room.

Because me and Josiah were having one of those, who's gonna be the bull in this pasture moments.

And your sons will do that.

Mamas, your daughters will do that, right?

Gwen had to go, Gwen had to go, I'm stepping out of the room.

You know what she really did?

She let go of control.

Because her emotions and feelings were going, oh my baby, oh, it's a little baby.

A -da -ba -da -ba -da -ba -da -ba -ba.

Right?

But I hadn't polished my left boot yet.

Guys, the other part of letting go and control is this.

As they get older, as they get older, there are gonna be times, and I started doing it

around 15, 16.

I started going, that's what you wanna do.

I think it's stupid, but it's your decision.

You know what my kids' bedtimes were growing up?

They didn't have them.

They never had bedtime.

They never had a bedtime.

You know why?

Didn't matter.

They figured it out on their own.

Because at 7 a .m., Reveille happened.

They were up.

They wanna stay up to 2 o 'clock playing video machines.

That's fine.

You getting up at 7 o 'clock?

Best lesson they ever learned.

Self -discipline was the best discipline I ever gave them.

So now watch this.

Stop trying to control.

If your kid is 23 years old and living like a godless heathen, you can't control that.

Quit trying.

Because it's an exercise in futility that will frustrate you to death.

Regain your honor.

Last thing, I swear I'm done.

Last thing.

I shouldn't have sweared.

But last thing.

Listen.

Talked to one of our members last week, and he has a kid that's out in left

field a little bit.

Well, actually, a lot.

And this is what he said.

He said, yeah, it breaks my heart.

And he is truly heartbroken over what he knows this kid's gonna face,

right?

And I was like, hey man, you're a good man.

You know, just keep going, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

He goes, yeah, but my legacy's done.

Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani.

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?

That kid hanging on the cross died.

But the legacy hadn't started.

Let me let you in on something.

Parents that think you're failures, come here.

Your legacy does not begin to be written until you die.

If you're still breathing in this room, I don't care if your kid's 35 years old, come here.

Your legacy's not done.

Your opportunities are not done.

Your chances, your choices are not done, right?

Legacy only exists after the opportunity ceases.

Ceases.

Listen, you can still be, and don't be a surrogate grandmother.

Don't be one of them, uh -uh.

Don't raise your kids.

Hey, control freak mommas, you're gonna try to do it to the next generation?

No, don't, don't, don't do it.

Listen to me, listen to me, you apathetic dads, you're apathetic with the first group.

Now you wanna be all, oh, I'm the greatest grandfather.

Jesus first, everything else second.

Don't laugh at rebellion, follow your children's rules for your grandchildren.

You are not the parents.

Every time Rachel comes over to the house with Ava, yeah, her

fatness, every time her fatness shows up at the house, I wanna give Ava the little

cookies and the crackers, but this is what I do, is that okay?

You know why?

He the boss, she the boss, I'm just the coach over in the corner that's retired.

They the boss.

I want them, I can show my legacy of being a good parent by doing this.

Father, bless them, give them wisdom.

And I don't do nothing else unless I'm asked.

Honor.

I tell you what, I'm gonna finish this next week, but I want you to listen to me today.

If you're in this room and guilt is defining grace for you,

stop it.

You will live in defeat and failure the rest of your life, and you're not defeated and you're not a

failure if you're a child of the living God.

You made mistakes?

Yeah, well, join the rest of the 6 billion humans on the planet.

The question I got for you today is, are you a born again Christian?

I'm not asking about your intellectual value.

I'm not asking about if you walk down the aisle and play Jesus Christ in your heart.

I ain't asking you about what church you're a member of.

I'm asking you, are you a born again believer and a son of the living God?

Is there something marked and different about the spirit of God in you now than it was before?

If you're playing games.