WWUTT 1670 Q&A Discussing Difficult Topics With Your Kids (Part 2)

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How do you talk to your children about right and wrong? Life and death? How do you talk to your kids about sex?

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What they can look at and what they shouldn't be looking at? How do you discuss difficult topics with your kids?

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When We Understand the Text. This is

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When We Understand the Text, a daily Bible teaching podcast to help encourage your time in the Word. Be sure to tell your friends about our ministry at www .wutt

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.com. Here once again is Pastor Gabe. Thank you, Becky. You're welcome. And pretty soon, you can just tell your friends to download our app.

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That's right. We've got an app in the works. I'm actually done with the app.

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What we're waiting on is approval from Android and Apple.

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Awesome. So the Google Store and the Apple Store. Yeah, wherever you download your apps from, whatever smartphone device you use, soon you will be able to download the

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What app, W -W -U -T -T. Now, the app is mainly gonna get you to all the different resources we've got.

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Okay. So I think you can listen to the podcast from the app. It links to the main podcast that the podcast site we use, which is

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Podbean. Okay. And you're probably listening to podcasts on your podcast option on your iPhone, or if you have an

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Android, you probably have another, I don't know what the, I remember when I had an Android, I was just using

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Podbean. Yeah. But what, yeah, anyway, whatever. I don't have an Android anymore.

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Yeah, whatever software app and whatnot that you use to listen to podcasts,

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I think it just directs there, but you can listen to the podcast from the app. You can go to the YouTube page from the app.

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You can go to my blog. You can go to the website. So it's like an easy find. Right.

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Gotcha. Books that I sell, stuff like that. They'll be right there on the app. Very cool. You're looking for WWUTT.

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At the time that I'm saying this, it may not be up yet. But keep looking. Keep looking. It'll be on there eventually.

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The what app. What app? The what app. That's right. What? All right.

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So today, the much anticipated, part two of discussing difficult topics with your kids.

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Yes. Babe, where have you been? I don't even recall. Sick. Yeah, that was it.

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It's been illness. That's why you haven't been here. Yeah, so I've been playing catch up ever since and just finding the energy and the motivation to catch up everything that we missed.

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Because I was out for almost a week. It was a long time. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, Pastor Tom made the comment that he thought

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I buried you somewhere. We were kind of worried. We hadn't seen Becky in a while. Oh, I felt like I should have been buried.

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It was bad. It started with the kids getting sick. It was. And so when one child gets sick, we can't all go somewhere.

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Becky has to stay behind. Usually it's Becky that stays behind. Yes. And then Becky got sick after that.

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Now talking about - So it's a very extended period of time that I was home. Yes. Yes, talking about the kids getting sick.

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This was right after we finished the last episode we did together. Yep. On April 8th, this was episode 1660, part one of discussing difficult topics with your kids.

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So we went home, we relieved Sonya from her babysitting duties. And then within an hour, three children.

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Three, but we're not gonna go into details for you. In fact, yeah, I don't even think it was, I don't even think it was within an hour.

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It was like less than 45 minutes, all three of these children. It was awful. Got a stomach bug.

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Worst cleanup effort in the Hughes household of all time. And we've had some doozies, but this was the worst.

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Yeah, this one definitely was rushed. I think within a couple of hours, it was like four beds, five floors.

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People died. I'm just saying. This is what took you out of commission the last couple of weeks.

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And then I got sick. And then Becky had to get it, yeah. Guess who didn't? I'm doing just fine.

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Yes, you are. Do I need to knock on wood? And Annie, too. That's right, Annie didn't get it either.

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Yeah, it's been more than a week, and it took about a week for them to catch it. Because we all got it from Aria, who was sick the week before.

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Yeah, she was sick earlier. We were like, ah, she's good, we're good. Nobody caught anything. Nope, showed up a week later.

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You know that stomach bug, it can manifest until, what, 13 days or something like that?

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Ridiculous amount of time later. So sometimes the difficult discussion that you need to have with your child is how to make it into the toilet on time.

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I'm just saying, just saying. We'll have that talk with our seven -month -old.

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So here's what, yeah, kid, crawl. And I mean, move it. Get over there.

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So what we were talking about last time, these difficult, discussing difficult topics with your kids.

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Episode 1655, we talked about spanking. That was a question that we took from a listener.

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And by the way, so usually on the Friday broadcast, we take questions from the listeners. And you can send those questions to whenweunderstandthetext at gmail .com.

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So in that episode, we took a question about spanking, and we talked most of that episode about that.

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I did a talk with one of our women's groups here at the church about discussing difficult topics with your kids.

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And I recorded that, and I was gonna put it on the podcast, but the audio didn't come out well.

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So we decided to do a two -part episode. And now finally, we're getting to part two. Part one was on April the 8th.

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That was episode 1660. Then I did a Q &A, a general Q &A, because you couldn't join me that next week.

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And then last week, I took the week off, right following Easter. So now here we are with this episode doing part two of discussing difficult topics with your kids.

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So if you wanna catch those earlier episodes, there's your numbers. 1660 was part one. 1655 was the spanking episode.

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So now we're up to, last time we talked about right and wrong, teaching your kids right and wrong. You have to have a foundation of truth first before you're telling your kids anything else, because they have to know there is a right and there is a wrong.

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And it's not just because mom and dad said this. Even mom and dad are subject to the truth.

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So we establish the truth according to how God has established it according to his word.

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And I also gave the tip last time about getting a catechism book, taking your kids through catechism, because that'll teach them commandments and then even what those commandments are supposed to apply to.

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Do I still have to follow do not murder? And I'm not gonna kill anybody anyway, so then what does that commandment have to do with me?

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Well, as it says in Romans chapter 13, love is the fulfilling of the law. So if you are loving one another, then you're not murdering your neighbor.

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You're not lusting or committing adultery. You are not coveting, so on and so forth. So love is the fulfillment of the law.

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Teaching your kids right and wrong, establishing them even in God's law, because sin is the breaking of that law.

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As it says in 1 John, sin is lawlessness. We have discipline through which we teach our kids right and wrong.

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There needs to be consequences to their actions. If you make a rule, but there's not a consequence when they break that rule, then it's not a rule, it's a suggestion.

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So if there are not consequences to wrong actions, then you're not really teaching your kids right and wrong.

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So that's the discipline thing. We talked about discipline first before we got to the establishment to the truth, but that's where it needs to begin.

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Developing in your children a good understanding of right and wrong. And in the process of talking about that, this is something else we addressed last time.

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In the process of talking about that, you're also gonna talk about life and death. Yes. Because the wages of sin is death,

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Romans 6 .23. What we deserve for our sin against God is to die. Why is there death in the world?

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Because of sin. And so you'll even have those difficult topics with your children and those things will come up again anytime a loved one dies.

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Someone in your church, someone in your family, if somebody dies, doesn't matter how many times you've talked to your kids about life and death, you'll still be having that conversation again when something like that happens.

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That's a hard one. It is. It's always a difficult conversation and it doesn't matter what age our child is.

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Those things are hard to talk about. But that's what we deserve for our sin. The wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ, our

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Lord. Right. So through teaching your kids right and wrong, through teaching them discipline, through teaching them life and death, you're always bringing it back to the gospel.

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Amen. God has redeemed us. He has forgiven us our sins by faith in Jesus Christ who died on a cross for us and rose again from the dead.

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Just today, the day that we're recording this, I had to spank my son because he hit his sister.

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And this is a continuing problem, teaching my son not to hit his sisters. He is stronger than his sisters.

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So he needs to be a protector, not an abuser. Right. And I spanked him and I mean, he knew it.

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He knew what he was getting spanked for. He was already brokenhearted. He's 10 years old.

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He's already brokenhearted because he knows he's disappointed dad. He has to get punished for this.

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That's gonna be painful anyway. We hugged and he cried and I said to him, son,

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I want you to grow up and be a man of God. I want you to be a man who loves righteousness and you wanna love people and not hurt them when you don't get your way.

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And that's why I punish you this way. So once again, bringing that back to the gospel, the gospel is understood there.

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The forgiveness that we have in Christ and desiring to walk in Christ and in his righteousness. God disciplines us as it says in Hebrews 12.

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And if he did not discipline us, then we would be illegitimate sons and daughters and we would not be the children of God.

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Right. So from there, we continue on with these difficult topics that we're addressing with your kids.

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Let's get to one that I talked about last time, but we didn't go into detail on it. Okay. Sex. How do you talk about sex with your kids?

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Now this is one where I generally loathe the way people talk about this because it's always funny.

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We always make our jokes about sex, okay? If you do that with your kids, they're gonna think it's a big joke.

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This is something sacred. So you need to talk about it as something sacred. The romance that your mommy and I share, you can use a word like romance, intimacy, defining the way that you hug each other, kiss on each other, things like that.

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You explain to your kids, this is only between a husband and a wife. Only a husband and wife should be doing this.

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Now, Becky and I did not save our kiss until marriage, but you might want to instill an understanding of that in your children early.

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So these kinds of things, this kind of intimacy, this physical touch and appreciation that you have for one another, this is between a husband and a wife to be enjoyed in marriage.

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Right. And you talk about those things seriously, you don't make a big joke about it. Whenever we're watching a show and they kiss and they're only like dating or whatever, all of us close our eyes.

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That's right. We're like, ah, don't watch, don't look, don't look. We have taught the kids that. There are a few Disney princess movies they've watched where the kiss comes a little too early.

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Yeah. And then on the ones where they're married, I'm like, it's okay, they're married now. That's right. Although it's still, yeah.

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They're married, so. You can still cool it on the PDA a little bit. Yeah. We don't watch those shows.

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I'm talking like little kids shows here. Yeah, that's right. Definitely. So anyway, you talk about these things in a serious way because God has given these things to be enjoyed between a husband and a wife.

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If the model of sexuality that your kids get is from a mom and dad with a healthy, intimate relationship with one another, that is the best example your children are gonna get from everywhere.

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Yes. Make sure you know what they look at, whether it's in the shows and movies they watch, the internet they're on, the games they play.

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You should not give them just unfettered access to a smartphone. Right. And in fact, I'm laying this down just as wisdom from one father to a bunch of parents listening, okay?

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Don't even give your children a smartphone. At all. They still have those flip phones available.

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Yeah. If you gotta have a device that they can make calls on, like an emergency call or something like that, get a dumb phone.

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Yep, a dumb phone. But they have them pretty cheap at, I don't know, like Walmart.

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Yeah, Walmart, they're there. But you can buy one of, I think they're called a track phone or something like that, where you pay ahead and they're only like 20 bucks.

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Yeah. So that's a lot cheaper than what we're paying for our phones. And if you have like Google Home or what's the

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Amazon one? I don't remember. I don't know. Alexa. Oh yeah, yeah.

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Now I've just said that and everybody's Alexa's are going off. Or you've got the Apple thing, I won't say the name.

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Any of those things will make emergency calls. Yes. So as long as you teach your children how to make an emergency call through that in case they need to call for an emergency.

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But don't just give your kids unfettered access to a smartphone with internet access.

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It doesn't matter whether it's the Wi -Fi in your home or they're on the 5G or whatever.

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Be guarded with your smartphone. And be nosy. Be nosy, thank you.

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Do not be afraid to be nosy. I am your mother. You are under my roof.

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This is how the rules go. And like I have full access to Annie's everything that she is on or messages friends or whatever.

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I have full access to what little Zeej has available or 10 year old.

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And they kind of share a phone too. But it's only accessible through Wi -Fi.

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So it's not the kind of thing where they have data or they don't take it with them.

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It stays at the house. It does not go in their rooms. Yes. It doesn't go in the bathroom with them. It has to stay in a public place, yeah.

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It's a public place and everybody gets to share it. So they just don't have the opportunities that some of the horror stories that you hear happen.

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Yeah. So, so far. Now my son. We've got a pretty good handle on that.

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Right, my son likes to look up pictures that he can draw because he loves to draw.

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So he'll look up Pokemon. He likes Mega Man. So he'll look up those images. And I mean, there's nothing safe on the internet.

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There's nothing safe. There are ways to make it safer. Yes. But it's not safe.

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So I got a list from the women's group that you were talking about.

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And of software and hardware that you can put on your internet and on your devices, each device.

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And that sort of thing just to make it a little more safer. But there's a lot of stuff out there that you can download or you can pay for it.

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And it's just a little bit compared to just saving their eyes. And their minds and their souls.

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I was exposed to images of nude women at a very young age.

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And it scarred me for life. I mean, there are things that I can't get out of my head to this day because of that.

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I wanna protect my son from that. Thankfully, he's already past the age that I was when I was exposed to that.

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But still. Yeah, when he's looking up images, we make sure we actually have a library of images on the phone.

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He can access those images, not have to doing these internet searches through sites that you never know what's gonna come up.

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And he has seen some things that, just through times that he has searched for images on the internet, where he's asked me questions about it.

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It wasn't like really bad. But it was still like. It's getting questionable. Yeah, it's getting kinda, why are they doing that?

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Yeah, well. Thankfully, they're just cartoon characters.

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Those can still be really bad. Sometimes just animals, so yeah. We tell him that if he ever gets to that, he needs to back up like 10 back buttons.

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Or no, just bring the phone to us and tell us what you saw. Oh, that's true. Yeah, and then we'll explain it if it has to be that way.

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That's true. But again, it still hasn't been really bad. It wasn't the stuff that I was exposed to. It's just stuff that's like, come on, people, why?

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Yeah. Why do you have to do that? Right. Even the romance they'll create in certain child characters.

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You're just like, that just doesn't, you don't need to do that. Yeah. Stop it. Yes. So there's one that, for like accountability, what was the one that takes screenshots of your?

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Oh, Covenant Eyes. Covenant Eyes. Yeah. That was one. I'm trying to think of the other ones.

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That's generally an adult software, but I mean, you can use it with your kids too. I still say my rule is still, when they're under your roof, they don't get a smartphone.

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So your kids don't get a smartphone until they can earn it on their own. By the way, I was just having a conversation about this with Eric Swenson today, who's our youth leader here at First Baptist Church.

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I said, my sibling, my youngest siblings got phones. My parents got them phones.

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I had to pay for mine. We got an argument about that. Hang on a second.

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I had to get my own phone. Why are you getting them phones? And I don't even know how long they were paying for my brother's phone bills.

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They were in their twenties and my parents were still paying their bills. Now, granted, this was before smartphones.

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It didn't go quite as far yet of paying for their 5G internet access. They probably had on a family plan too.

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So you get it cheaper. Yeah. I was still irritated. I know. I had to pay for everything.

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It was with my own money. That's right, that's right. Play your world's smallest violins for me.

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First world problems, but I got them. So anyway, yeah.

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Don't just give access, just unfettered access to smartphones.

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Don't hand a smartphone to your kid. And our children have to use computers for some of the schoolwork and stuff that they do, but you know what they're looking at and you've placed the proper restrictions on there and things like that.

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Right. And there's, like I said, there's hardware that you can actually download to protect your internet. So your internet doesn't allow you to search any of those.

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Just research if you guys are interested in some of the information that I gathered from the talk at the ladies meeting, whatever you call it.

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Sure. But then I'd be happy to forward that on. Okay, great. They did some really good research on that.

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Send an email when we understand the text to gmail .com. Yeah. And Becky will respond.

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Maybe, I'll probably just hand it over to Gabe and be like, here's the piece of paper. That's right.

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Okay, so anyway, we've mostly just been talking about smartphones here. When it comes to the subject of sex itself, how do you talk about that with your kids?

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So they've got a good example from mom and dad. You may have a single parent home or maybe you don't have a good relationship with your spouse.

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So how do you talk about these things with your kids? Well, at some point, you are going to actually have to use the words.

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I know all of us, we try to do the birds and the bees talk. Can I just talk about something where I'm not using the words to have to explain it?

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No, at some point you have to. Now for Becky and I, since we homeschool our kids, we've got anatomy textbooks.

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We do. So we can open up the anatomy of textbook and there's the word right there. So we're teaching them as a matter of education and then that makes it easier.

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Great, I don't have to just feel like I'm throwing these words out. You're actually learning the anatomy of the human body here.

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But even when you talk theology with your kids, when you talk about deep theological subjects, there will be occasions where you will have to explain sex and how babies are born.

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So let's go to the Christmas story. Let's go to Matthew chapter one, beginning in verse 18.

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Here's what we read. Now the birth of Jesus Christ was as follows. When his mother

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Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together, she was found to be with child by the

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Holy Spirit. And Joseph, her husband, being a righteous man and not wanting to disgrace her, planned to send her away secretly.

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But when he had considered this, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream saying, Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take

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Mary as your wife, for the one who has been conceived in her is of the

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Holy Spirit. And she will bear a son and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.

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Now, all this took place in order that what was spoken by the Lord through the prophet would be fulfilled, saying, behold, the virgin shall be with child and shall bear a son and they shall call his name

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Emmanuel, which translated means God with us. And Joseph got up from his sleep and did as the angel of the

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Lord commanded him and took Mary as his wife, but kept her a virgin until she gave birth to a son.

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And he called his name Jesus. Now, how much in the explanation of that story are you gonna have to talk about sex?

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Yes. Especially with your youngest children who don't understand what a virgin is. Why do we sing in silent night, round yon virgin, mother and child?

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What does that mean? What does it mean to call her a virgin? Why is it significant that Jesus is virgin born?

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Right. So as you talk about these theological things with your kids and you talk about the miraculousness of his incarnation, you are explaining that he could not come from the seed of a man because that means he would inherit

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Adam's sin nature, according to what we have in Romans chapter five. So he's conceived of the Holy Spirit and not by the seed of a man, so that even in his conception, he is without sin.

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And he is able to be that pure spotless lamb without sin who becomes the sacrifice for us when he dies on the cross for sins.

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Explaining those things to your kids will bring up those sex topics that you're now discussing with your kids having to explain those things.

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Talking theology with your children will help to frame these things even in a healthy and a godly way.

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If you need help with that, buy my book, 25 Christmas Myths and What the Bible Says, because in the chapter on that, you'll get that explanation and that'll help you talk about those things with your kids as well.

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Yeah, kind of a bridge way. Yeah, that's right. Especially with how often the word circumcision comes up in the

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New Testament. Oh my goodness, that is a lot. Yep. It's a little awkward for my five -year -old to ask.

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I think that's how, you know, as our kids were getting older, as our oldest was getting older,

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I think that was the thing that started our first conversations about sex with our kids was because her, okay, so her little brother, she was three when

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Zej was born and he had to be circumcised. So she sees us change his diaper, you know, she sees something had to happen there.

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So she asks, why does he have these parts that are different than mine and why does his parts look that way?

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It looks like he's been hurt. Yes. So then having to explain what circumcision was and why she didn't have to do that, but he does, you know, things like that.

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So anyway, she gets that lesson from a young age and then she comes into the circumcision concepts in the

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Bible. She knows what that is, but now having to apply it in a spiritual way, what does that mean?

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So talking about circumcision with your kids, they're gonna learn about those things. If you've got two children that are opposite sex, they already know they're different.

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Yes. They already know one has one set of parts, another has another set of parts. Now, as your children get older and they hit puberty, it's best for mom to explain to the daughter why her body is undergoing the changes that she's going through.

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I prefer to do it before it happens. Sure. To prep them. Exactly. Yeah, it's just, it's a lot easier beforehand because then you can be like, okay, you know, this is gonna come up and then this is gonna happen and then this is gonna happen and so on and so forth.

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Yeah. But that's what happens when you get older. Right. You know, so. And same with, you know, when it comes to having this conversation with my son,

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I'm gonna be the one to do that. So I'm gonna tell him why his body's gonna be changing, what's gonna happen, and even certain desires he's gonna start to have that he did not have before he hit puberty.

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And tell him how to control those things, what's good, what's healthy, what's a healthy desire?

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It actually is a healthy desire for a man to desire a woman. If he's not married and she's not married and he's thinking about marriage, he's thinking about romance, he's thinking about having a family.

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There are some of those desires that are good, but how do you reign that in? How do you do that in a healthy way?

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Something that is God honoring. Right. Rather than turning into lust and becoming, you know, a woman becomes an object instead of a person.

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Right. So having those conversations with my son, that's gonna come mostly from his father.

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We finished up Proverbs a few weeks ago and we saw all of these wisdom nuggets that were being passed on from a father to his son.

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The nature of the book of Proverbs is a father speaking to his son. Right. But then when you get to Proverbs 31, we talked about this when we went through the

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Proverbs 31 woman part, but that's a mother talking to her son.

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It's King Lemuel recalling what his mother told him. And so King Lemuel is writing down his mother's advice.

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Here's the kind of woman you should marry. Yes. So there's still good wisdom that comes from a mom to her son as well.

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But some of those sexuality aspects, you want the father to explain to the son and the mother to explain to the daughter.

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That's where those things are gonna be most helpful. And for single parents, options are, you can find somebody in the church whom you really trust and they kind of like adopt to your family and, you know, just sort of a natural person that they would turn to, your children would turn to.

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Like a man for if you've got sons, but you're a single mom. Right.

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And you need a man to explain these things to your sons. Right. Or if you're a single man, then you find a woman to talk to about the lady.

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Your daughters. Yes. Right. And then. And honestly, that fulfills an instruction in Titus 2.

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Oh yeah. Of the older women teaching the younger women. Uh -huh. Yep. That's true. How to be a good mom and how to care for their husbands.

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Yes. So, yeah. And then other options are your parents, you know, like for.

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Oh, grandparents. Grandparents. Yeah, right. Of the child. And then another option would be if you actually wanted to take that on, that's totally acceptable too.

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So it's whatever you're comfortable with, I guess. It's not like a mom can't talk to her son about these things.

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Right. Right. And you should make sure that they understand that even though the other person is talking to them, that you are still available and completely available to hard conversations.

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Because when it comes to things that are godly, you want to be able to converse about that with your child.

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So that way, whenever sin comes in, they're able to come to you still and be like, okay, this isn't what you told me.

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What is going on? Right. Like the difference and that sort of thing. So you can open up the door for hard conversations.

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Yeah, you want, we kind of talked about this a little bit when we were in the right and wrong section, but you want your children to know they can come to you and tell you that they've sinned.

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Right. That they've done something wrong. Exactly. Because they need to ask forgiveness or they need to receive discipline or whatever.

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So which is why discipline needs to be handled in a loving way, not an angry, mean or put down way.

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Right. So that your children know that you are telling them right and wrong because you love them.

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Not because, hey, daddy said so, and so that's why you got. Now, honestly, because I said so is still a fine answer.

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It is. But yeah, still creating that element of trust with your children.

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They know they can trust mom and dad. What you have to say about this is good. I know it always has been, and I can trust you to tell me the truth.

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That's why I answer, you know, when we play the 20 question game and it's more like 150 questions,

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I answer every one of them, or at least I try to. Yes. With a good attitude. With a good attitude.

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Now, we've come to the end of our time today. There's one other thing I want to address as we wrap this up.

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Sure. And then we've got some other things to talk about, which we'll do another episode. So this will be the next, we'll do a part three next week.

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And in addition to this with part three, we'll answer questions. So some of the questions from the listeners that you have as we've been talking these things through.

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Here's the last thing I want to mention. Now, how about sex abuse? How do you talk about this with your kids?

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This is not as complicated as you might think it would be. So it's very simple. You tell your kids, your bodies are your bodies.

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Your naked bodies do not belong to anybody else. A body is supposed to be shared only between a husband and a wife.

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A husband shares his body with his wife. A wife shares her body with her husband.

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If anybody comes to you and tries to touch your private parts that are not meant for anybody else, then you tell them no.

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And if they try to say something to you, like, I'm going to touch you, and don't you tell mommy or daddy, if you tell mommy or daddy, something bad will happen to you or something bad will happen to them.

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They're lying to you. Do not believe them. Come tell mommy and daddy that somebody did this rotten thing to you, this wicked, awful thing.

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Okay, so you teach your kids, these parts of your body belong to you. Nobody else should be touching them.

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And if somebody else does, you come tell mommy and daddy. So that's how you talk to your kids about sex abuse.

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Yeah. They understand that a naked body is meant to be covered. We don't let our children in the room when we're changing clothes.

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The kids have to stay out, door stays closed, locked. When they come in early in the morning and daddy's not appropriate under the covers, we tell them, okay, you got to go out because daddy's got to get up and go to the bathroom.

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So our kids learn that there are private aspects to their bodies that they don't share with other people.

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They keep those things covered. And as my daughters get older, they know you don't leave the house in leggings, like just leggings as pants.

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There needs to be something over your leggings. So all of this has to do with the instruction to cover up, make yourself decent.

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And so you don't let those private parts be somebody else's business.

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They belong to you. And when you have established that with your kids, then it's a lot more helpful to protect them against those people that try to invade that space.

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Because you've already said, this is yours, doesn't belong to anybody else. And if anybody does invade that space, you tell somebody.

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Daddy's got a gun. Yep. Should I cut that out of the podcast? Maybe I'm... That last part was facetious.

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Yes, daddy will protect you though. Yeah, definitely. Yes. All right, anything else? Anything you want to add to that?

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No, I think that's... Okay, that covered it. I mean, we covered it. Ha ha. Sorry, couldn't help it.

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Hey, we're not joking about this. It's serious. Yes. We definitely push the whole modesty, dress modestly, even for our boys.

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They always have a shirt. I know it's acceptable for guys to go without a shirt, but in our family, it's just,

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I don't know. We've always done shirts. Why though can a man go without a shirt and a woman can't?

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The difference of parts. Ha ha, precisely. I mean, that's it. A woman has breasts and a man doesn't.

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So even though we teach our kids, wear a shirt, don't go wandering around without a shirt, if he gets with a bunch of boys and they're playing hard outside and they take their shirts off, why is that okay for him, but not his sisters?

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Because she's got parts that are meant to be covered that he doesn't have. And that's really what it comes down to, ladies.

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You can think that that's unfair, but that's it. You keep your private parts covered.

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And even as it says in Proverbs, a woman's breasts are meant for her husband, not for anybody else.

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So keep your private parts to yourself. Ha ha, but anyway, what I was trying to say is that -

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Oh, you weren't done. I'm sorry. That wasn't done. Okay. So it just makes it easier to talk about why do we do that and from that approach, that it is meant to be only for whenever you get married.

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And that'll be down the road quite a ways for how long the days go by for children.

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But it's still a matter of this is meant to be only for one person.

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Yes. Yeah, there's a narrative going on even in evangelical circles right now that's trying to shame what's called purity culture.

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This is not purity culture. This is holiness. This is what the

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Bible commands of us. Purity is what God says we should aspire to.

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Yes. So don't think that this is some bad, naughty word that we shouldn't be using.

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Teach your children to be pure, to save themselves until marriage, that their bodies are theirs, that they need to submit their body unto the

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Lord, Romans 12 one, and their body does not belong to anybody else except a spouse when they get married.

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As it says in 1 Corinthians 7, a husband's body is not his own, it belongs to his wife. A wife's body is not her own, it belongs to her husband.

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But until that day comes, you keep those private things covered up. That's right, keep them private.

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Keep the private things private. Now, as I talked about, even when you discuss these things, you wanna be serious about it because you don't wanna make it into a big joke.

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When I get around to teaching through Song of Solomon, that's the way I'm gonna treat

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Song of Solomon. We're in Ecclesiastes right now in our Thursday study. In the

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Old Testament study. But when I finish up Ecclesiastes, next book is Song of Solomon. And there's already people that are emailing me going, when are you gonna get to Song of Solomon?

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I've never heard anybody teach this book. Everybody at my church is too embarrassed to teach this book. It's a very sacred thing.

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Most of the time when you hear somebody teach Song of Solomon, they make a big joke about it. I'm not gonna do that.

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It is a sacred and yet wonderful thing that God has given to us. It's beautiful.

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It's beautiful, it's a beautiful thing to share between a husband and a wife. So enjoy those things and teach your kids that these things are very, very good.

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That's where you came from because your mommy and daddy know it's very good. But it's to be enjoyed between a husband and a wife only.

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To build a family, to create love and intimacy and to nurture that between one another and to be fruitful and multiply.

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But this is what God has created it for, that a husband and wife get to enjoy this. So you save it for marriage and honor the

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Lord by doing so. All right. Well, that's what we're finishing this week and then we'll get to some other topics next time,

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God willing. Yes. Send your questions to whenweunderstandthetext at gmail .com.

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Anything we've talked about those last couple of lessons, part one of discussing difficult topics with your kids and the spanking episode we did at 1655.

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Any questions about any of that, send them to us and we'll address the last few things that we have to talk about and then taking some of your questions as well.

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Yes. Let's finish with prayer. Yes, let's. Heavenly Father, thank you for this opportunity that we have to discuss these things according to your word, what the scripture tells to us.

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This is the way that we wanna live. You have revealed to us what your will is, what is pleasing in your sight and it's in your word, the

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Bible. And so I pray that we read these things, we take them seriously, we teach them to our kids as it says in Ephesians chapter six, discipline your children and raise them up in the training and the instruction of the

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Lord. May we be diligent to do that, even talking about difficult things, but we talk about them with confidence because we know this is not our word, it's the word of God that we are passing on to our children that they may know it and live according to it.

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Help us to remember the gospel. We're not just giving our kids commands that they and their sinful hearts are incapable of keeping, but we give them the gospel of Jesus Christ for it is in the promise of Christ that we have the forgiveness of sins and the promise of grace and life everlasting by faith in him.

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And so we continue to hold out the word of Christ in anything we say and do, even in how we raise up our families.